Newcomers: Scorsese, with Nicole Byer and Lauren Lapkus - Batman & Robin (w/ Matt Gourley)

Episode Date: February 6, 2024

Lauren and Nicole’s trip through the Batman universe takes an interesting turn with very special guest Matt Gourley (Conan O’Brien Needs a Friend, Superego, I Was There Too, With Gourley and Rust, Bonanas For Bonanza) covering 1997’s Batman & Robin with George Clooney. Is this really one of the “worst movies ever made”... or actually one of the all-time greats? Is the hyper-focus on Batman’s nipples an expression of artistic vision or does it miss the point? Are we sure Batman and Robin are not a couple? All of these important questions (and more!) will be answered.Next week's movie: Batman Begins (2005). Follow Matt: Instagram, TwitterLike the show? Rate Newcomers 5 stars on Spotify and Apple Podcasts and leave a review for Nicole and Lauren to read on the pod!Follow the podcast on Letterboxd.Advertise on Newcomers via Gumball.fmSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Original. My name is Freeze. Learn it well. For it's the chilling sound of your doom. This is the way the world could end. Please show some mercy. With ice. With a kiss.

With venom. I probably should have mentioned this. I'm... Poison. Poison Ivy. And the only man who can stop them. I freeze. I'm Batman. Can't do it alone.

Batman will watch his beloved Gotham perish. Undelivered boys, there's a storm coming. Kill the heroes! The hockey team from hell! Cool party. Arnold Schwarzenegger. All right, everyone, chill. George Clooney.

Julian of the marrying kind. I know you've had your wild nights. Good night. Wild doesn't, doesn't quite cover it. Chris O'Donnell. I want a car. Chicks dig the car. This is why Superman works alone. Uma Thurman.

So many people to kill. So little time. Alicia Silverstone. And you are? Batgirl. That's not awfully PC. What about Batperson? Found the Batcave.

She knows who we are. Guess we just have to kill her. Yep. You're Joel Schumacher Phil. Strength. And courage. Partners. Honor. Partners. And loyalty. Partners.

It all comes together. We're going to need a bigger cave. Batman and Robin. It all comes together. We're going to need a bigger cave. Batman and Robin. Wow. Okay, I'm Nicole Byer. I'm Lauren Lapkus. We are covering Batman movies this season.

Yes, this is the sixth episode of our sixth season. We're working our way through the Batman universe with the help of newcomers, super fans, people who've contributed. And we're going to be doing 14 episodes this season, culminating in a very exciting livestream episode. It's going to be so exciting. So wild. You won't know what to do with yourself.

We don't know. We're going to be so exciting. So wild. You won't know what to do with yourself. We don't know. We're going to cover as much as we can get to in an overview of the franchise. We're obviously not going to get to everything. It's very deep. Too much. Dense. So today, we are discussing maybe my favorite movie of all time. I can't process what has been said to me right now.

The second Joel Schumacher Batman movie, Batman and Robin, starring George Clooney. Did you know that they had planned a sequel sequel but it did so poorly they stopped it? Well, that makes so much sense because I was wondering if we're going to have to watch another version of this when they are all running towards the camera. I loved it when they were running towards the camera. Well, that was the only good part. Okay, Batman and Robin is available with a subscription on Max

and Prime Video. You can watch it for a fee on Apple TV, Google Play, and Vudu. And obviously, we're going to spoil the film. We're going to spoil all of it. We're so excited for our guest today. Matt Gourley is an actor, comedian, and podcaster who you might know from the podcast Super Ego. Kono O'Brien Needs a Friend, Drunk History, Adventure Time.

You can currently hear him on his new podcast, Uh-Oh, Oh, Mallwalk It. I don't know why I looked at it and I was like, this word's foreign to me. But it's just mallwalk it. It's not a real word. It's a way of life. I want to know more about mall walking, honestly. It's just what it sounds like. You walk around malls.

We walk around malls with two mics and we just wherever the conversation, whatever hits us from the mall, whether it's like the scent of Wetzel's pretzels or the looking at a Lid's hat store. Or there's like a tall wall of dildos in every Spencer Gifts. There really is.

Is there? Is that a new feature? That's a nice time. No, I think it's been there. They have like lots of vibrators and stuff. That's where I got my first one. Wow. Your first one.

Was it funny? No, it was just neon green and glue in the dark. It glue. It's still stuck down there. Yep, it's just glowing inside me in glue. Oh my God. Oh, also, just glowing inside me in glue. Oh my god. Oh, also, you were the what? Oh my god, I can't read today.

And if you were around the Anaheim area in 1997 you might know him as the first prize winner of a competition held by Fluidmaster Inc. to see who could best imitate the sound of a flushing toilet. Someone went to my Wikipedia and found things I don't want on there. Wait, can you do it still?

I used water, and honestly, I just want it because of my setup. It wasn't anything special. Your sauna. Yeah. What is the setup you had? Well, I just said,

do you know about that thing called the Coriolis effect where I think it's not even real, but that- I know very little, and that's something I don't know about. Yeah, I don't feel real here with that. Supposedly, toilets drain one direction in the northern hemisphere and another direction.

That's not true? I don't know. I've heard since that that's not true. But I just did my impression by spinning around and shooting water out of my mouth. It was really stupid. That's fun. Why was there a contest of that? For publicity for this company.

For toilets? For like toilet parts, yeah. And they just called improv groups and asked if they had improv. The whole thing was a sham. I'm not proud. Hey, I'm glad we're getting really deep into that right now. Me too. I think it's exciting. But what we really can't wait to do is talk with you

about Batman and Robin because I'm really curious where you're at with this. But before we even get to the movie, what's your relationship to the character of Batman or DC Comics? Are you really into all that stuff? I think for a time it was pretty big. I started by watching the 60s show on TV so young that I didn't know it was camp. I didn't know it was comedy.

I took it seriously and loved it. And then learned that it was comedy and I loved it again. And then the 89 Batman was big. I was in high school. That was huge. And then these movies, the four from the Michael Keaton Batman to this one are kind of like supposed to be the same arc and they drop off so steadily. Yeah.

Wait, they are? Yeah. Because you've got the same butler and the same police commissioner. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I didn't even notice that. Well, it's not your fault he was in it i'm like why does he get to be in all of them interesting recasting everybody else yeah yeah i don't know

okay so you look so worried because i'm a little worried about this whole thing because i'm i don't usually like to completely shit on things sure but. But I had a really hard time with this and I was so certain that you were going to be on my same page. No. I literally texted you this morning when I was finishing it and I was like, this is actually maybe the worst thing we've ever watched on all of the seasons of Newcomers.

And it's not just that I'm not interested or something and that's why it's bad. It's like, I think it's actually really bad. And then I was like, maybe she's not awake yet. And then you're like, this is my favorite movie. I'm like, I don't know what to make of this. I started it a couple days ago and then got halfway through

and I was like, Lauren, this is unintelligible. I can't wait for you to watch this. And I thought that meant bad. I mean, to most, yes. But I had such a good time that last night I started it again so I could watch it uninterrupted. That's crazy. Have you ever done that with any of these other movies for newcomers?

Well, I had to restart a couple because I fell asleep. Yeah, that's different. But this one, you just wanted to see. I just wanted to see it again. The Iceman cometh. That character was unhinged. Excuse me, did you say character? Yeah, that tin man.

I mean, look. I love character yeah that tin man I mean look I love the sparkly tin man the hat askew and I looked up the character and it doesn't have that oh he doesn't no

the what his little like his weird helmet it's kind of like over here yeah Mr. Freeze yeah I didn't even notice that

really yeah it was really it moved around his head as time went on and then his teeth were blue at points I know

and I was like did the makeup get in his mouth? What's going on? His eyes were a sick red. I know. Oh my God. It was incredible. His little ice car

reminded me of Mad Max. And I was like, wow, really took inspiration from that little vehicle. His little henchman also seemed pretty Mad Max-y. That was,

they kind of made me think like, okay, someone was trying to do something different from the Tim Burton henchman thing, but still kind of a similar like clowns jumping out feeling. Yeah, it just wasn't. Okay, Matt, what's your one sentence quick feeling?

I'm happy to report that I see both of your sides. Okay. And I don't mean that to be diplomatic. No, no, no. That might be helpful. I think it's one of the worst movies ever made. But that being said, I kind of enjoy watching it. Okay. And I don't mean that to be diplomatic. No, no, no. That might be helpful. I truly think it's one of the worst movies ever made. But that being said,

I kind of enjoy watching it. Okay. I might come around to that. It's just so bonkers and bad that it's like, I feel this way about the Star Wars prequels that I watch them

with my mouth open kind of going like an academic studying culture or anthropology going, how did this happen? Yeah. And it did. And I remember

seeing this in the theater with my girlfriend at the time and we went in knowing it was bad oh really oh cause it got bad reviews yeah cause

even by Batman Forever you're kind of like I don't think this can get better this is gonna get worse and yeah so we enjoyed it for that well that's a fun way

to watch it I didn't really know what to expect me either and honestly it was nothing I could have ever imagined no in the cast I was like That's a fun way to watch it. I didn't really know what to expect. Me either. And honestly, it was nothing I could have ever imagined. No, in the cast, I was excited about certain people. I'm like, George Clooney, we got Uma Thurman, we got Alicia Silverstone.

I mean, there's a lot of people from that time that I love. Boy, oh boy. Oh, no. Okay, we're going to take- The buildings that were shaped like humans. What the fuck? The ice that was never ice. I was like, you can't get ice? I just felt like there was never i there was no real ice also the two scientists at the end deserve awards oh my god oh my god i wish i remember the quote because i really do you

remember what he said uh shit because it was like like his accent was a bad day i'm about to have or something like that there was like there was there was one where there was two scientists up on like a ledge there was a black woman who was giving the performance of her life yeah she was like oh and then the guy next to her who said something with like a new york accent yeah yes what's coming over here where are you new york and then i love when everyone became unfrosted they were just like sweaty looking i know this movie was every choice made was the wrong one. Every time they went into ice, I was like, I can't believe this is the best ice that we can do. Like it was just like, just plastic casing.

I think it was because it all had to like light up. Yeah, it was really aggro crag from guts. Like it was just like, just cheap plastic lit up from the, I was just. My absolute favorite moment of this film culminates when Alicia Silverstone is trying to break Alfred's password Oh my god And when the computer keeps going Access denied

Five, six times Then she finally cracks the code and she goes Oh, access allowed Why is the robot different for a loud Because it was sexually pleased. I don't know what else it could be. And also when she cracked the code,

the screen was projecting onto her face, which doesn't make any sense. Yes. It was just like all of the codes. I'm like, all right. And when she discovered it was Peg, the picture did not say Peg before. Goes back to her, goes back to the picture.

It says Peg. It didn't say Peg before? No, listen. I was full into this movie. There was another glitch thing that I saw. So you think it was a mistake? There were so many continuity errors. We have to think of how she got to Peg. Let's just write it on here.

There was one moment where Robin's going up and underwater, in and out of water, and they just boomeranged it. He goes like That wasn't filming that. It wasn't necessary why do i need to see him do that i don't think you went under and then he's under poison ivy's lair the set decorator said i guess we go to michael's i was just thinking we just buy out the fake flower

section just the sale bin we got some real flowers this looks more realistic. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, it is actually a whole better set. Her whole deal was a problem for me. But let's take a quick break. We'll be back more. We'll be back more. We'll be back with more Batman and Robin after this. If you're wondering what a NordVPN is, I'll tell you. VPN stands for Virtual Private Network,

a service that protects your internet connection and online privacy. A VPN creates an encrypted tunnel for your data, protect your online identity by hiding your IP address, and allow you to use public Wi-Fi hotspots safely. I'm using a Nord VPN myself. And honestly, it's very easy to use. You connect with one click to enable auto-connect for zero-click protection. It has amazing speed. Nord VPN is one of the fastest VPNs out there, and it supports every major platform, Windows, Android, iOS, Linux, even Android TV. You can switch your

virtual location to access apps and websites in other countries. Get an exclusive NordVPN deal here at nordvpn.com slash newcomers, N-O-R-D-V-P-N dot com slash newcomers. It's risk-free with Nord's 30-day money-back guarantee. Link is in the episode description. And we're back more. So, Batman and Robin was released June 12, 1997, written by Akiva Goldsman, who has an Oscar. And Akiva also wrote a previous one, I think. Yeah, he wrote Batman Forever.

He declined to write the sequel that then didn't get made. Well, that's not really his choice. Gotta do some research. I was like, how this got made is incredible. I need to know everything about it. I need to know if people were watching dailies. I need to know what they thought was happening. I want to know the vibes on set.

Like, were people like, this is fun? Or was everyone like, what did he just do? I don't think it was good. According to Lisa Silverstone, she had a pretty rough time. Oh, she did? Yeah, because she got press shamed because she couldn't fit in her bat suit because she put on a little weight. What?

And then one of the storyboard artists did a cartoon of her bulging out of her thing, and it leaked. And she said Clooney was really nice to her, and the guy who played Alfred was super nice to her, and otherwise she didn't really have a good time. That breaks my fucking heart. This made me go down a research rabbit hole, too. Right? Because you're like, how did this get made?

Like, truly. I can't believe it. I will say, we learned this later, but based on the dailies, they approved another one. And then when it came out, they were like, never mind. That was going to be batman unchained exactly yeah i'm really sad to get batman unchained literally i mean that's not joel schumacher is my hero he's the man responsible for the nipples the bat nipples i know and we

liked that it's a fun choice but none on alicia silverstone she gets like a bat bra she does and her boobs are really like coming out of that style either way it's like really I liked that. It's a fun choice. But none on Alicia Silverstone. She gets like a bat bra. I know. She does get a bat bra. And her boobs are really like coming out of that style. In a little bat-kini. The way it's like really, yeah. I was wondering about all of that, if that was comfortable or not. I assume not. Is Joel Schumacher with us still?

I have no idea. No, he recently died. That's upsetting because I would like to interview him. Honestly, it makes me feel a little safer with my opinion. I'm sorry that he passed. I would like to do a seance and be like i have queries and questions apologized over and over for this here's another great story that i read clooney apparently if you go up to him and say anything

about batman he apologizes and then refunds you his money oh the money that you paid apparently that's the story that he will pay anyone. That is very funny. He has one of the greatest line reads of all time. Sir Bruce Wayne, are you going to get married? Marriage. Marriage. Marriage. Help me out here.

I was like, yeah. Yeah. Sir. I mean, everyone in this is a talented person. But incredible that they worked after. Yeah, this is a horrible film that I can't believe every moment that occurs. And I mean, the writing is pretty crazy. The acting is crazy. The choices, the costumes, the sets, like everything feels really cheap.

And I found that weird because I thought this was like a big franchise at this point. It just was like, why does it feel so cheap? I don't know. It seems like it's the garish lighting that they went for stylistically like did not do favors to the set yeah it really exposes everything everything the way they lit the ice man what's his name mr mr freet what a dumb name the way they lit him was insane and i was like maybe get a black person and light them yeah because he's darker than a light yeah so yeah he just looked insane at all no he did and he i mean his costume was oh my god he was lit from inside the mouth at times

yes he had a battery operated light inside his mouth that again i just read all this this morning his saliva would sometimes make the battery corrode and leak battery acid so that's why he had like blue in his mouth well that was the light yeah but that's like really toxic yeah and i guess the like makeup was all like fire uh what do you call it like like fire flammable yeah oh that we might not have had shorts cold makeup insane just, okay. Well, let's get really into this plot here. We can talk about every moment that happens in this film because each one is wild. We always want to thank the Batman fandom wiki

for help with this summary and any problems with it, you can take it up with them. The film begins with Batman, George Clooney, receiving a call from Commissioner Gordon that a new villain named Mr. Freeze, Arnold Schwarzenegger, is wreaking havoc at the Gotham villain named Mr. Freeze, Arnold Schwarzenegger, is wreaking havoc at the Gotham Museum. Mr. Freeze is a former doctor who wields a freezing

gun, which by the way, they threw a gun to him at one point. He fumbles it. I'm like, new ticket again? No, that was the only take. They only had so much time with Schwarzenegger. It was crazy. Also, I learned they finished this film, I think, two weeks ahead of schedule. No! Yes, they did. Take your time! They could have gone back

and reshoot. We did really short days. Don't brag about this! No, Joel Schumacher took a look at the final cut and was like, yeah, no notes. We're good. We're good. Two weeks, everybody. He also wears a life-sustaining cryogenic suit. His criminal plan? To freeze Gotham until he gets the money

needed to finish finding the cure for a mysterious disease that has stricken his beloved wife Nora, who's a normal person. Just a normal lady stuck in some water. She's cryogenically frozen. I thought she was Nicole Kidman at first. Same, but no, she's just a nice lady.

I think she was dating George Clooney at the time, that actress. I'm giving you all IMDB. I'm upset. You have so much. But it's probably, half of This is all, I'm giving you all IMDb. I'm sad. You have so much. But it's probably, half of it is real. Yeah. I'm probably like. Okay, I don't care.

Okay, good. I love this. Wait, that makes sense. It's like, you get to be in a fun movie, you're like, sure, I'll be the floating body. I'll be the floating dead lady. Because it's a role that has nothing for, I mean, I don't know.

You just have to be pretty and wet. Also, this summary doesn't include that the beginning, we get to see all angles of that Batsuit and the Robin suit. Robin. Oh, my God. And by the way, Mike was watching with me. He was trying to remember what Robin's family was called. The Flying Robins.

Grayson's. No, I know. But I go, it's the Flying Grayson's. Oh, wow. He was like, we're back to when when this happens where you start to know more about the stuff that I do and it's weird. And I was like, yeah, I'm sorry. It's the Flying Graysons.

So funny. He was calling the wrong thing. I kept going. It's not that. It's not the Flying Robins. It's the Flying Graysons. At the museum, multiple security guards open fire on him. But Mr. Freeze and his minions freeze them all.

Just then, Batman and Robin, Chris O'Donnell, arrive at the museum and try to stop Mr. Freeze from attempting to steal a valuable diamond. Their boots click-clack together to turn into skates. And the heroes play a game of ice hockey with the diamond. It's so silly. It is so unhinged. Mr. Freeze makes it out of his, with a rocket, with the diamond.

He's a rocket now. Trapping Batman with his freeze gun, Robin uses his laser to rescue Batman as the heroes blow up the rocket with a bomb. This is insane. And then they surf down. Okay, so the heroes retrieve the diamond as Mr. Freeze freezes a section of Gotham City's structures. Batman and Robin chase the villain on their little surfboards or boogie boards. And Mr. Freeze uses his freeze gun to freeze Robin.

This is so funny. And takes the diamond with him. When he freezes him and he just lifts him up and puts him in water, I couldn't stop laughing. Yeah. And wait, is this the part where they surf off the building? Yeah. Like the pieces? They're like surfs?

He goes like, surfs off? I go, how do you know the building's going to come apart like that? Yeah. Was Cowabunga the moment you knew like this? The exact time stamp? Yeah. This is when things turn. Yeah.

It was the hockey game with the diamond. I think the hockey game. I, this is when things turn. It was the hockey game with the diamonds. I think the hockey game. I think the suddenly having skates. Yeah, I was like, what is this? He also uses puns that aren't even plays on speech. He says freeze well at one time. Yes, freeze well.

What is that? Every single line that he has is bad. Like every single one. I mean, it's truly, it was amazing. It's so funny. So Batman then uses Robin's laser to thaw him out. Back at Mr. Freeze's lair, we learned that he uses the diamonds

to power his little freezing engine. And the diamonds didn't even look good. I'm like, that's not a hard thing. They were just plastic. So we also meet one of his henchwomen, Ms. Behavin. Ms. Behavin? I hate it. I will say this.

Vivica A. Fox was maybe the best actor in this movie? She was. And her outfit was good. It was a good outfit. And I was like, you're really doing something. And then they were like, you can only have one scene. We've had enough. You're making everybody look bad. You have to leave.

So meanwhile in South America, Dr. Pamela Isley, Uma Thurman, a botanist obsessed with protecting the environment, is working under Dr. Jason Woodrue, John Glover, experimenting with a drug called Venom. And watches as Dr. Woodrue uses the formula to transform a diminutive convict into a hulking monstrosity dubbed Bane. convict into a hulking monstrosity dubbed Bane. Woodrow and Isley argue over how the drug should be used and Woodrow kills her by pushing her backwards into a bench of various steroids and toxins. Everyone gets their powers by falling into something. Yes, that's what I was thinking

because Mr. Freeze also falls into that. Joker. Are you guys curious at all who you're going to see as villains in these realistic Christopher Nolan movies? Because I will tell you one of these villains is the main villain in one like realistic Christopher Nolan movies because I don't tell you one of these villains is the main villain in one of the Christopher Nolan ones.

That's very serious, you know. I know, you're looking at Mr. Freeze, Poison Ivy, or Bane and you go, how could any one of these people be in a serious movie? But one of them is. Which one? You want to know? It's fine. Yeah, tell us. Bane. Bane, that goofy fucking thing in a serious movie? And it's played by Tom Hardy.

What? Yeah. I don't see that for anybody. Look, I started watching that next one and it was so different from this that it must work, okay? Would Drew and Isley argue

over how the drug should be used? And would Drew kill her? Okay, yeah. So though it seems like she melts into the ground, she soon rises up in the wreckage. And I love that he was like, yes, poison, poison. Zach, anyone to kiss her? Yeah, but it was...

Okay, stop. But you didn't feel like the sexual chemistry was really strong? Yeah, I was like, he's disgusting. He's gross. She transforms into the beautiful and seductive Poison Ivy in front of Woodrow and kills him with a poisonous kiss. Ivy discovers that Woodrow was funded by Wayne enterprises, which is an incredible moment where she's smashing glasses and then almost

smashes the Wayne one and then stops. And then she's like, huh? Wayne enterprises. And then throws it out. I was like, we couldn't take that again. Yeah,

we couldn't, we couldn't make that a little bit more choice. I have so many questions about how she was directed. She takes Bane with her as her bodyguard to Gotham city while she attempts to You couldn't make that a little bit more of a choice? I have so many questions about how she was directed. Or not. She takes Bane with her as her bodyguard to Gotham City while she attempts to use her plants to take over Gotham. Her character is one... I think I thought it'd be more like Catwoman.

Yes. Like a sexy sort of like sultry and it's really kind of like casual in a way or like kind of like light feeling. It doesn't feel scary. No. No. I think it's because she was like pretty campy as like this distraught botanist in a very strangely

lit like science place. I don't, it was, the set was insane. It kind of had the same problem as the Riddler. Yes. Where like the initial character is weird enough that then like it's hard to know where to go when you change. If you start at a 10, where do you go?

Yeah. Also Bane driving. I was like, why do we trust this thing to drive? With the fedora. What even is it? Right? What did it start? Is it a guy?

It was a person. Then his legs got all big and I was like, oh God, it's like Nutty Professor or something. Back at Wayne Manor, an insane scene happens alfred's niece barbara wilson alicia silverstone makes a surprise visit bruce offers to have her stay with them until she goes back to school okay i was excited to see her i love her um i felt like the chris o'donnell or the robin storyline with her i well it was confusing because I was like, does he want her or not? Yeah, he was being really weird about it. And I also didn't like throughout the whole movie

the way that Robin and Batman were fighting over Poison Ivy. It was so like small minded and odd that I just was like, that isn't even like how these movies work in general. I don't know. I feel like Robin as a character is like so immature that i can't take it yeah and i don't want him to be his sidekick i just did you guys watch the 60s batman yeah okay yeah where he's like holy smokes batman yeah holy holy holy holy

i not for me yeah i liked that more than this yeah i love this more i am so happy i like that more than this i loved this more that. That one's stronger, I think. So elsewhere, it's revealed that Mr. Freeze's wife was stricken with a mysterious disease, McGregor's syndrome, for which he is desperately trying to find a cure. Alfred also becomes ill with the first stage of McGregor's syndrome and appears to be dying from the disease. I thought he was like dying in real life and they kept shooting. Yeah.

They didn't make it clear that he's dying until much later though, right? Like I think like they don't know what's going on with him. Because she's like Alicia Silverstone is his niece. And that also confused me because I'm like how old was her mom? Yeah. Also she says she's from England. I know. And then she just makes no attempt to have an accent or anything.

Yeah. Okay. She's like I'm here from England. My mom's your sister. And it's like okay. The real story, she's Commissioner Gordon's daughter. And I don't know why. I think they didn't want to go with that because he was too old. But then so was Alfred.

So I don't know why. Yeah. Uncle Alfred. Uncle Alfred. At a press conference where we meet Bruce's girlfriend, played by Elle McPherson, who truly does nothing. It's tough. It's a wild part. Wayne Enterprises presents

a new telescope to the Gotham Observatory which is just a weird building in the hands of a man. A man-shaped building. Yeah. Can you go in that building?

I don't know. What is it? Yeah. But they're soon interrupted by Isley. She proposes a project that could help the environment but Bruce declines her offer

as it would kill millions of people. Oh, good reason. Batman and Robin decide to lure Freeze out using the Wayne family diamonds and present them at a Wayne Enterprises charity event. Ivy attends the event and decides to use her abilities

to seduce Batman and Robin. Okay, so she does this performance during the party that everyone's like, oh! And she's literally doing nothing. She doesn't sing. She just stands.

She's like standing kind of like blowing red smoke at people and then she like steps on like a bunch of guys backs to like

climb them as like almost choreography and everyone's literally like this is the best show I've ever seen and then all the guys are so horny

and Batman and Robin are both like she's mine and it's like really pathetic because also has Batman even broken up with his

girlfriend at this point no because they kiss later and he says Ivy and she's mine. And it's like really pathetic. Because also, has Batman even broken up with his girlfriend at this point? No, because they kiss later and he says Ivy. And she's like, who's Ivy? And he's like, you tell me. And I was like, what? I know. She's like, who's Ivy? Why did you say Ivy?

Where were we? Oh, Freeze crashes the party, trying to steal a diamond, but is defeated and detained in Arkham Asylum. Ivy takes an interest in Freeze and with Bane's help, frees him from Arkham. I love when he's taken to Arkham and then he immediately hits the fucking guards there and then they're like, you're gonna die.

And he's like, no, I'm not. And then he's like, I'm dying. I know, his whole falling apart when he's in jail where they're like, keep him in the cold part and then he like goes out of the cold part a little bit and he's like

his eyes are like popping out of his head and he's like and still being an asshole to them even though he's clearly dying and then he gets back in the cold part

and he's like oh good but when he builds that little ice music box over his dying wife I was like wow okay

does your wife want to be with you now that you're this? A weird ice thing? I know, she's got a surprise coming if she survives. Yeah, she's like, who's this? Crystal's silver man. And he's really not a kind guy. Batman and Robin and the police arrive at Frieza's lair in response to his escape,

discovering Nora preserved in a cryogenic chamber that Frieza's developed a cure for the early stages of McGregor syndrome. Frieza, Ivy, and Bane secretly arrive to recover Frieza's diamonds and Nora. But also, so at this point, I'm like, okay, so Frieza's like a good doctor who's like finding a cure for a disease? Yes.

Like that guy's like really smart and solving a big problem? Yes, Lauren. Yes. He's a complex character. He's stealing diamonds for his ice suit. He looks like a crazy tin man trying to bring his life back. Because he's a villain of that.

Why don't you get it? There's a big vat of weird shit behind his desk. You're right. You're right. I don't know what's wrong with me. Wanting Freeze for herself. This is also wild because Vivica A. Fox also wanted Freeze and I was like, nobody wants to fuck this man.

You cannot be attracted to Freeze. No. Freeze is the least attractive. Let me run by you the people that were considered for this role. Oh, please. Sylvester Stallone. I can see that. Hulk Hogan.

Interesting. Wow. Ed Harris. What? That actually works for me. Yeah. Okay. And Anthony Hopkins.

Wild. Whoa, that would be wild. That would be a fucking weird group of Okay. And Anthony Hopkins. Wild. Whoa, that'll be fucking weird. Group of people. They're all so different. I think Arnold Schwarzenegger doesn't really feel evil. No, he's not. Because there's not a lot of range within it. So it's like, I think Anthony Hopkins could really scare me as he is.

I think so too, especially with that makeup. Yeah. And he's probably a little smaller. So that would be really interesting looking. It would be interesting looking as smaller. Also, Arnold could not move in that suit. And it was very funny to just watch him tumble around. I wonder how long the makeup took on his head.

Yeah. Probably five minutes. I don't think there was any care. I don't think anybody really cared. I think they were like, get out of there. Let's go see what you're going to do. We're going to get this done in two weeks. Wanting Freeze for herself,

Ivy unplugs, this is so fucked up, Nora's chamber, steals the diamonds and seduces Robin, escalating tensions between him and Batman. At Ivy's hideout,

Ivy convinces Freeze that it was actually Batman who killed Nora. Freeze swears to freeze all of humanity in revenge. I mean. Wild. With Ivy planning to repopulate the Earth using her mutant plants afterwards. Freeze and Bane commandeer Gotham Observatory and convert the new telescope into a giant freeze ray.

While Ivy uses the Bat-Signal to contact Robin, Robin attempts to go after Ivy alone, but Batman convinces him not to fall for Ivy's seduction. At Wayne Manor, meanwhile, Barbara discovers the Batcave, where an AI version of Alfred reveals that he has made Barbara her own suit. That was so convenient. It was just a little silly. I was like, wait, what?

And then I was also like, can she fight? No, it's like, we know that she can race on a motorcycle. She races motorcycles, so she knows how to fight. We skipped that, I guess. She's a biker girl. She steals a bike from Batman and goes out drag racing because she's so sad about her parents' death that she wants to feel anything. And so she races off the edge of the earth.

By the way, she's falling off a building at one point and Robin catches her and he's like, so this is where you hang out. And she's like, ugh. I'm like, you're about to die. Like, and the CG on that was wild. Yeah. It was so funny to me. I hesitate to say this, but I think once every generation, the world's most boring actor comes along and every generation has theirs.

And I think Chris O'Donnell is my generation's most boring. He really brought nothing. I'm saying I want to see him in a romantic film. I don't think I want to see him in a big character costume. No. I think he gave the crown to Josh Hartnett. Wow. We definitely got a lot out of

him. I like Josh Hartnett. It's not to say you don't like him, but there's just not a lot of energy or something's like there's just like a spark. It's almost too cool for someone or something. I don't have to be here I felt George Clooney was kind of too cool in this for sure

and I love him but I was like I was just going like why isn't he doing it yeah where's the spark yeah and I felt like he was just a little flirtatious

whenever he was Bruce Wayne but not like there wasn't like a comfort in it it was more just like even like looking at Alfred he'd be like kind of like raising his eyebrow

and I'm like you look like you're into him like it was just kind of like there wasn't like yeah i don't know and also i didn't like how he kept remembering memories with alfred throughout the movie yes he would just look off in the distance and see alfred like serving him soup when he was little and he's like ah yeah that was a good time i'm like you're really building the fact that they have a relationship like if anything we know that but it's also wild that alfred raised bruce wayne and then now is his caretaker as he's fighting crime yeah yeah it's a big shift it's yeah it's very odd i know but basically he mainly still gives him meals and

stuff yeah also his date with l mcpherson was much more civilized than the original date he goes on with uh well in the previous movie it wasn't sexy or anything no it was like they were having dinner at their little table oh and it was like she's like when are you gonna get married he's like i don't know i don't think i'm the marrying kind or whatever yeah um yeah it's all truly wild so barbara dons the suit and becomes batgirl arriving at ivy's lair in time to help Batman and Robin subdue her. And they were like, so who are you? And she's like, Batgirl.

And then they're like, shouldn't it be Batperson or Batwoman? Wait, so you're cool with Batman then? Yeah, yeah. He's like, it's not PC. And then she goes, hey, it's me, Barbara. And I went, do you really not know that? He didn't seem to go, I know. He was like, they just didn't say anything after that.

I was like, they sure didn't. It was a very strange interaction. It's me, Barbara. It's the Clark Kent. We know. Your hair and complete face are showing. By the way, I'm Matt Gourley. What?

Bye bye. Who's that? Who are you? I don't know who that is. Bill? I don't know. I also't know I also love the weird makeup around their eyes yeah

I was like what does that look like when they take the costume off I know what is that they just have like raccoon eyes

yeah oh you'll see that in the Batman which is the latest one with Robert Pattinson who's kind of like an emo Batman I have seen this one

I loved it he takes off the mask and it's kind of used to effect because he's got the makeup on but he kind of looks like goth and emo because it it's almost like tear stain mascara.

Don't remember that part. Or like the cure. I can't wait. Well, okay, Batman, Robin, and Batgirl decide to go after Freeze and Bane together. By the time they get to the observatory where Freeze and Bane are, Gotham is completely frozen. Robin and Batgirl confront Bane and defeat him after they manage to pull out Bane's main venom supply tube, causing him massive withdrawal and

transforming him back to his original state. Pretty easy target. Yeah. All it took was kicking the little knobs out of the back of his head. Yeah. I said, okay. That was easy. That's it. Easy peasy. Meanwhile, Batman, also if I lived in Gotham in like every couple years

the city was getting like frozen or a penguin was coming I'd be like we gotta get out of here let's move we can't live here anymore we can't do this

meanwhile Batman and Freeze fight it out Freeze tries to kill Batman by destroying the telescope platform but only succeeds in crushing and weakening Bane what?

crushing the weakened Bane Batgirl and Robin unfreeze gotham's buildings and batman reveals to freeze that ivy killed nora freezes angered by the betrayal he shows him he like pulls out a little cell phone and like yeah his little belt buckle yeah it's like just a little screen he's like you might want to see this and it's like ivy being like and that's why i killed nora And he goes like, I was like, also,

how did you get that footage? Where did it come from? Who filmed that? I can only believe his belt buckle is also a camera. I know. I would have shot that because he was down on the ground. But honestly, like it probably was the exact frame from the movie.

Like they didn't even get a different perspective on it. I love when movies do that. When you see like a picture on someone's nightstand and it's from earlier in the movie. Like we couldn't be bothered to do anything different. Freeze is angered by the betrayal and learns from Batman that his wife isn't in fact dead. She's in a cryogenic slumber and we move to Arkham waiting for him to finish his research, which is wild to be like, hey criminal, you can still save your dying wife.

Alfred can be cured because he only has stage one McGregor syndrome and the wife has stage four or something like that. Oh, my God. Batman proceeds to ask Freeze for the cure that he has created for the first stage of McGregor syndrome. Freeze atones for his misunderstanding by giving him the experimental medicine that he had developed. And what's the line?

Take two and call me in the morning. I was literally like, every line of this is silly. I don't know if it's supposed to be funny. Maybe it's like how when you watched the 1966 one, I was a kid and didn't get the joke. I'm like, is this supposed to be making me laugh? It is that, but it's not done well. That's the problem. It should have been, here's the cure for the common cold.

done well that's the problem it should have been here's the cure for the common cold i think i this one i was like this is funny yeah i don't think it was meant to be funny but every step of the way i was teehee i wish we had just like a page of lines that freeze said because i was gonna write them down and i didn't yeah i read on imdb that there are 27 one-liners about cold or freezing or something like that. That's absolutely perfect. Also, Uma Thurman's wig gets worse and worse as the movie goes on. We were hoping for a bad wig, and we got one. When she's got the two little space buns with the hair down in the back, you can literally see the tracks where they just pinned them in.

The lace wasn't terrible, but in some lights I was like, yeah, actually, it's very, very bad. I'm with you on this. And her wig is synthetic. That was another problem for me because it actually reminded me, I didn't even put that together, but her character reminded me of a character I played in a sketch show like 15 years ago and then I had this bright red wig that was supposed to be like sexy 60s

and it was like that and I was like, that was the same wig. It feels like you go to a Halloween superstore, off the rack you buy like Bat I was like, that was the same wig. It feels like you go to a Halloween superstore off the rack. You buy like Bat Hero Villain, that kind of generic branded costume or something like that with the synthetic wig. I just was like so curious about Poison Ivy as a character like before and what's set up about her because it just didn't feel established. Like it felt like she was kind of loosely figuring it out. And that made me feel like it's like a missed opportunity. It felt like it was kind of loosely figuring it out and that made me feel like it's like a missed opportunity.

It felt like it could be a really sexy, cool character. But then maybe people liked it. I don't know. I have no idea. Apparently she got all the critical raves. She was the only one

that got positive reviews for this movie. I can see that. I guess I can see it. Also, she was in a peak moment at the time. I mean, she's done many cool movies that are

not this i don't know about the timeline but so later a depressed and disheveled poison ivy is shown imprisoned in arkham asylum freeze walks in and announces he will make her her life a living hell of winter for trying to kill his wife and deceiving which is so funny that they let him keep his suit and just walk around freely. Yeah. I'm like, this man is, he froze your city. Yeah. You gotta keep him locked up. Yeah.

He should not be able to live, honestly. I wouldn't be mad if they put him down. And he's gonna be her cellmate while he's also just working in a lab. Yeah. So she's just allowed to be in this lab. Yeah. Yes. No, and like that they have to be together. They were like, no.

I was just like, this is so stupid. Also, when they froze the city I'm really glad that they showed that dog to show that everybody in the city was affected yeah mid pee yeah mid pee

mid pee did the heat from the pee stop the freezing no it's that powerful Warren okay fine Alfred is given freeze's cure

which he just had on him which is funny to me and is eventually healed it's agreed that Barbara will stay on at Wayne Manor with Alfred remarking that they're gonna need a bigger cave! And just like

with Batman Forever, the film ends with Batman, Robin, and this time Batgirl running towards the camera with the Bat-signal lit up behind them, and I said, Bravo! He didn't really get into the way that they solved it with the mirrors around the world. Yes.

They were like, we need the sun from Egypt. Also, Robin was like, we're going to have to do this upside down. But then Batgirl is standing straight up on a computer doing it. Yeah. They were like, she's like, let me figure it out. He goes like, okay, little girl. And she's like, okay, little boy. Yeah.

And then she's like, click, clack, hacking into the mainframe of earth moving the mirrors so that they go around and the sun projects and melts the ice like it was like so silly and then like the like video of it working other than that though flawless film oh yeah no everything i said was just like me being a little harsh i loved it i thought it was great was great. I think it's honestly, it was so goofy. And I loved those scientists at the end. They made me laugh. They were amazing. So hard.

Just like swinging around being like, whoa, whoa. I was like, Batman, save them. Get them off this swinging broken telescope. I know. And get them to safety. I feel like those actors were the only people aware of what they were in and just going like, fuck it, let's just do our own thing and have some fun. Yeah, yeah. They were reacting

hugely to everything. I need to know if they've worked again. I'll watch everything they've been. Okay, so this movie, let's talk about the awards of reception. Well, Batman and Robin had a pretty solid opening weekend at the box office. Its numbers dropped by 63% in its second weekend, due mostly to poor word of mouth. While Batman and Robin had a pretty solid opening weekend at the box office, its numbers dropped by 63%

in its second weekend, due mostly to poor word of mouth. It currently holds an 11% rating of Rotten Tomatoes. Wow. George Clooney

has apologized for his involvement in the film, saying, in 2005, I think we might have killed the franchise and calling it

a waste of money. Clooney says that he's apologized for the film when he met the former Batman, Adam West. Oh my God. that would feel bad.

Yeah, in an interview with Vice in 2017, director Joel Schumacher apologized for the film, taking full responsibility for its reputation, saying, I want to apologize to every fan that was disappointed because I think I owe them that. A lot of it was my choice. No one is responsible for my mistakes but me. He also blamed the studio pressure

to make the film more toyetic, i.e. a showcase for marketable toys and games. Okay, that makes me feel like just better about disliking it because I feel like them apologizing, which is like kind of funny, but also like probably sincere on some level. Because I mean,

with the fans being obsessive Batman people, I'm not sure you felt the pressure of that. But that's like, it's just kind of funny. I mean, it's funny to meet Adam West. I mean, I would be embarrassed if I was in a bad one. But also, the thing is, as I was watching him going, I would play every role in this at the same level, and I'd be happy to do it.

So I fully understand why everyone's there. If you're Alicia Silverstone and you're Justin Clueless, then you're offered Batgirl. You're going to do Batgirl. Yeah. Why would you not? Are you guys ever gonna tackle the Bond franchise? I'm scared of that franchise. Just because there is a

similar trajectory where one movie gets so batshit crazy and then goes to the Daniel Craig Casino Royale like Batman Begins and it gets super realistic and it's a weird kind of nosebleed. Oh, wow. Something like this. Well, you're the expert on this whole world,

I would say. But that's another deep one. Yeah, that's a long... Yeah, that's a long... Right? Yeah, there's 25. That sounds awful. I mean, official.

There's two extra, too. So that's 27, if you were to... Two extra? What do you mean two extra? Well, there's like two non-official James Bond movies. Where he's James Bond and he's like two non-official James Bond movies.

Where he's James Bond and he's like, Bond, but call me James Bond. No, Connery came back later and with another producer kind of did like a black market James Bond because they had the rights to it somehow. It would be a long season. You could just do them by actors over time or something like that. I'll let you know, they're all long seasons.

It's a long gig that we've signed up for. I'm dying to know what has been your favorite franchise so far. Tyler Perry. Tyler Perry was great. So it was Fast and the Furious. I didn't do that one. You had big important things.

Yeah. But I guess I would also say I like that I've seen all the stuff now. There's a part of me that's just glad that I know. Because it's sort of like a blind spot in the world that I don't have anymore. I get it. I get all the jokes about Lord of the Rings and Star Wars and I've got it. Yeah. Yeah.

That's the upside, I would say. I did try to watch the last Guardians movie and I was like oh yeah I don't want this I don't like this the Marvel ones yeah we've seen all the Marvel and there was no one

to like tell me it was good later so I was just like kind of like lost in the sauce being like why is this little rabbit tied to a bench

and why does this man want him I haven't seen that one I bailed on the Marvel ones yeah yeah how many did you do we did like 27 out of 27 or something

it was so many it was a lot and the hours were long and grueling let's do some trivia no way according to John Glover who played Dr. Jason Woodrow Joel Schumacher would sit on a crane with a megaphone and yell before each take,

Remember, everyone, this is a cartoon. It was hard to act because that kind of set the tone for the film. Well, that explains everything. Yeah, he was like, remember, this is a cartoon. And they had the tilted Dutch angles like the TV show. They were really going for that, but they just didn't do it well because it's not funny. I know. But then it's so interesting.

That's really funny, though. That makes so much sense because I was wondering, what are they being told to do? To be a cartoon. If I'm told to be a cartoon, it's insane. You'll get it? Yeah, it's going to be insane. Alright, so it took, oh good, my question is being answered. It took Schwarzenegger six hours to get into makeup and wardrobe each day. Wow.

That to me is such a waste of time. Yes. Especially for that. Yeah. He wore a bald cap after declining to shave his head. Just shave it. That would probably save you a couple hours. A blue LED in his mouth and had acrylic paint applied.

The blue LEDs had to be wrapped in balloons after battery acids started leaking into Schwarzenegger's mouth. I'm sorry, you have a balloon in your mouth with a battery inside it all day? That's like awful. Yeah. That would taste so bad. Nothing is worth that. The extensive time spent on his costume significantly restricted his shooting time as his contract

was limited to 12 hours a day of work. That's so funny. Half his day was makeup and then half his day was going. He only worked for six hours. That's why he fumbles his gun and they're like, keep it. That's it. We've got too much to do today. We had him for a brief period.

I love it. The next film in the series was Greenlit when execs saw dailies from Batman and Robin. Wow. It was set to include Scarecrow as the villain. A Scarecrow? And Nicolas Cage and Coolio were considered for the part. What? What a range of choices.

This is so insane. After the film's release and poor reception, the next installment was... Scrapped. That's sad. Scarecrow's your next villain for the next movie.

For the Christopher Nolan one. Oh. It sounds scary. And avian. Okay. And yeah, you're right. So according to rumors, if you meet George Clooney

and talk to him about this film, he'll give you your money back for having seen it. Will he pay my HBO Max bill for the month? Maybe he will. How do we reach out to his people?

Let's take another break and we'll be back with more Batman and Robin. Okay, so we have a really fun segment. We're back with our segment, Holy Batman, Batman. This is the segment where we use our QR code and we rate George Clooney on the definitive newcomer's Batman scale.

So we will use our phones to rank this Batman across five unique characteristics. Let me grab my phone. Oh, this is amazing. So we're ranking him on preparedness. How prepared is this Batman? Does he get to use his little gadgets and tools? Detective ability. Does this Batman get to be his little gadgets and tools? Detective ability. Does this Batman get to be a little detective?

Is he good at mystery solving? Voice gravelliness. How gravelly is this Batman's voice? Oh, I have a tidbit on that. How lonely brooding emo is this Batman? And finally, hotness. How hot is this Batman? This is amazing.

We also forgot to talk about how Robin does go to Poison Ivy and then kisses her and then pulls off his like plastic lips which also works it was like a layer of like skin that looks like it's being pulled off

it's wild it's disgusting and then I was like why did you kiss her he just wanted to yeah I was like that's so gross and then he was like to Batman

she's mine you're just jealous you don't want me to have something and I'm like you guys this is so lame this is so weird there's so many women there then he was like to Batman, she's mine, you're just jealous, you don't want me to have something. I'm like, you guys, this is so lame. This is so weird. There's so many women, there's always hot women, just like, stop.

Gotham, for whatever reason, is riddled with beautiful women who can't be bothered to move. They were seduced by her pheromone extract. I guess. Yeah, but Batman wasn't somehow? He figured it out? Yeah, once he knew about it.

So are we, do we just do this on our own? Yeah, so submit it and then we'll get the average. Oh, okay. All right, sorry. Okay. All right. Happening, okay.

And, yeah, okay. Got it. Okay. Got it. Okay. So, preparedness, 89.3%. I think he was pretty prepared. He was prepared. He had his little bat things to shoot and swing around. He showed the proof on his video bat thing.

Batman's always prepared. He was very prepared. Detective ability, 58%. Yeah, he figured out Mr. Freeze fell into the vat he figured out that Poison Ivy had poisonous kiss and could seduce

and I gave him a lower score for when Barbara was like I'm Barbara cause I just felt like yeah I think that's fair I don't know what was going on there

but I felt like he should have known he absolutely should have known I'm sure you guys have gone through the origin that his first comic was just a detective comic book and he was just a detective comic book and he was just a

detective oh no not one person did not know that no no one's ever called detective comics it wasn't even called batman what yeah and he was just a detective who wanted to scare people and so it was really like he was just like scare people yeah he was solving like mysteries and then was like i'll scare him too essentially he wanted to use the fear of the bat to scare criminals. But it wasn't like there were super villains right away. And then Joker came along and then that kind of started all that. Oh, wow.

Interesting. Okay. Okay. Voice graveliness. 37.3. There was no real gravel. Well, how about this? Now I learned about this too. They had to pitch his voice down when he was in the suit. They pitched it down 5% to make it like more bassy and resonant

or something like that. I don't like that they digitally altered it. It's kind of cheating, right? Does that change your vote? Do you want to get back on that? Well, mine's pretty low. Mine was low. Yeah, mine's low. Or maybe I gave it high. I think someone gave it high. That was a mistake. Sadness. I gave him low sadness because he seemed pretty happy. He was fine. smart yeah he's like yeah i don't want to get

married yeah whatever yeah i got this kid here uh whatever he didn't really seem to care about anything no he didn't as an actor or a character yeah he whatever yeah hotness horniness 40 percent yeah i wasn't horny i think ge think George Clooney's great usually pretty horny I would I typically would would find him horny and I did not I feel there was no

sex appeal in this film yeah there's not really also he doesn't really have any sexual relationships he has like his girlfriend who he's not really interested in taking it further with

even though she's a little supermodel who's in love with him and then nothing happens with him and Poison Ivy that's like actually anything I think he's the Batman that's aged the best though. Just as an actor.

Oh, sure, sure, sure. I mean, yeah. Doing real well. Probably People Magazine's Sexiest Man Alive 100 times. Many times. Yeah. There was no horniness really in this movie besides like showing off the costume.

And it reminded me of Marvel movies where there was like no like kissing and like there was no like give it to me yeah i felt like poison ivy could have been that character who's like because she had to kiss a lot of people in this movie which i felt bad for her about because it's just that sucks but like especially because they were oftentimes like just like people you would probably meet she would meet for like one minute of that day of shooting and then have to kiss them but But like, she didn't make it something. Like, it's like, she kind of like rolls her eyes back. But I'm like, it could have been a very sexual,

seductive character that just didn't feel that way to me. I did love when she kissed that first man to kill him. She opened her eyes real big. Kind of looked into the camera. I liked it because I was like, well, we know she doesn't like kissing this guy. It's not about her. It's about killing him.

And we also have a new segment that we're very excited about. Taryn Killam's new segment, How Did This Score Score? So we have talked about the music and score and soundtrack on previous movies. We decided to officially incorporate Taryn's brilliant segment

into the episodes from now on. So what is your one sentence opinion on the score or soundtrack of the movie? Did it resonate with you at all? Did you hear it? I don't even know if I heard it. It was as garish as the rest of the movie because the only time I noticed it

was like a choir going, when you didn't need a choir doing that. Yeah, I don't think it registered with me at all. Yeah, if you had said that there was no soundtrack, there was no score, I'd be like, yeah, that sounds about right. You just hear people's footsteps. What was the movie that taryn did that this uh it was batman batman 1989 yeah oh yeah the danny elfin yeah yeah yeah and that was a great score yeah and then batman returns had a

great score batman forever again pretty forgettable yeah this is very forgettable yeah this movie is so forgettable so forgettable you remember it for the rest of your life it's yeah okay it's our segment five kapows it's time for reviews where we read reviews of our own podcast um somebody gave it five stars that's so nice meg to the han informational apparently people around me have been making references to Lord of the Rings and Fast and the Furious and Star Wars all the time

not sure whether or not I'm happy about how now being clued into this yeah I mean that's the thing I now get all the jokes everyone's making yeah when people say something about Obi-Wan

I'm like I know who that is yeah so blessing or curse though in the end sometimes it's nice because you just don't feel lost yeah you feel included

yeah yeah and you can say something back and I don't feel lost. Yeah, you feel included. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And you could say something back. And I don't have to be like I've never seen Star Wars, which honestly people don't like that. And then it just kind of ends everything. So yeah. Yeah. It's better. And then I can be like one quarter portion

and then they're like, wow, you really know it. I'm like, yeah, I've actually seen all of them. Oh, wow. And recently. What is one quarter portion? Um, Unkar Plot. When he's like, okay, there's like a sale. Okay, I'm going to lose steam as I'm talking, but there's like a moment in one of the films where there's like a store.

Force Awakens. And they're getting like their allotted amount of food. Oh, yes. And they each get one quarter portion. Yes. That's like the, is that the price

or is that the amount? That's the amount. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it's also money. It's money, but you get a quarter portion. Yeah, I don't know. Wild.

That's played by Simon Pegg, that guy. Oh, fun. Yeah. I mean, lots of amazing people are involved in all these things. It's really fascinating. I like that you can really keep up.

I'm pretty lost. That's one of the only things that stuck with me, but I have it. I remember Blue Milk. Yeah. The Blue Milk. In addition to Apple reviews of newcomers, we'll also be reading reviews from Letterboxd and giving the film a one-sentence review ourselves and a star rating. For anyone who doesn't know, Letterboxd is a social platform where people can write reviews

of their films. You can follow the show on Letterboxd at Newcomers. Do you have a Letterboxd? I do, and I follow you guys. You do? Woo-hoo! Thank you. Do you use it often?

I do, but I don't write reviews and I don't do ratings. I just feel bad. Do you like to see what people have said about other things? I guess I do write occasional reviews, but they're just stupid. I don't write serious reviews. I do have my own weird rating system, though, that I figured out that it's not whether I like a movie. It's also how good or bad my day is. Because do you ever have a good day and you watch a bad movie, but it's like Friday night and you're having a cocktail and suddenly the movie's good? Or like

this movie. Or you're watching a good movie, it's a shitty day and you're just not in the mood. So that affects it. So it's like like good movie good day good movie okay day good movie bad day vice versa yeah do you explain that breakdown in your reviews i don't i don't i get those two stars but i had a bad day this is just for me i like it okay well this comes from ryan ryan gave it five stars and said they knew what they were doing and allure gave it two stars and said this is not batman this is just bad man wow yeah yeah wow yeah okay so think about what you would say about this film your star rating i'm gonna go ahead and say it's tough because again i like to leave room for things to get worse i i want to give it one star but i kind of want to give it two stars because it's i think you're safe to give it one okay i'm gonna give it one star, but I kind of want to give it two stars because it's...

I think you're safe to give it one. Okay, I'm going to give it one star. Yeah, I think you can. This is my least favorite one that we've watched. My review is... No one made any choice, but I guess the big choice being made was that they were all in a cartoon. So if it's supposed to be a cartoon, it's really good. Okay.

My one sentence review is, what a great time I had. This is my favorite movie. I'll probably watch it again. Five stars. I like that our reviews get to be next to each other. Matt, what do you feel? My review of this film is I am so soundly nestled right between Lauren and Nicole.

Wow. In the most comfortable sandwich ever. Yeah. A film-going sandwich, yeah. Three stars? Oh, God, no. One and a half. Okay, okay.

I guess I'm closer to. Not right in the middle of the sandwich, yeah. If you put this film in theaters for, like, one day, would you go? No. I would. Why would I go? I would. I have it on my fucking laptop

and I don't need to watch it with other people. Yeah, that would be a fun group watch. I think it would be very fun. For sure. That could be funny. Yeah. Yeah, if it's an interactive sort of like, where you just get to talk to this weirdo

and be like, what? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Absolutely. That's the only way that would happen. I watched this with my almost two-year-old daughter and that's kind of like helps it along too because she's just like— Yeah, I feel like I can't do that because she'll just be going, new movie, because she wants to watch Monsters.

New movie. It's the same. Yeah. Oh, my God. Well, do you have anything you want to plug? We appreciate you so much. Oh, so maybe by now, or likely very soon, my wife and I have an eight-episode miniseries podcast called Keys to the Kingdom about all the sordid stories of working at a theme park and what goes on behind the scenes of all the major theme parks. Did you guys both do that?

We both worked at theme parks. We met at a theme park. You did? Yeah. What theme park? We both worked at Disney, never never met and then met at Universal doing improv there oh my god

I worked at Disney for 13 something like 13 years I can't wait to hear this I love behind the scenes stuff like that there's so many crazy stories about shit

that goes down there that's awesome oh my god the only thing I know is you can't die at Disney they won't pronounce you dead we have a little bit on that in the podcast

they take you off the property to pronounce you dead. Because I've heard a podcast about all the deaths that happen there, which is also really sad, but they don't pronounce you. Do you want me to tell you, because we dug into that whole thing. So you can get pronounced dead at Disney. They try not

to. It's just usually what happens is there's not like some coroner or doctor at the scene who can do that actual pronunciation. Even if they're dead, they don't know it. They rush into the hospital and it likely happens at the hospital. But it's not like a documented

policy. I know. We dug into it because we've heard that myth so much. I'm so sad that's a myth. Say the name of it again. Keys to the Kingdom. And Taryn Killam's on it as an interview subject because he's such a super fan and he takes us through

his whole perfect day at Disney and there's some just crazy stories about mischief and stuff like that I can't wait to hear that sounds great

be out soon alright cool or it's already out probably you'll know well we're gonna be back next week with Batman Begins thoughts before we jump into that I'm really sad that it's not going to be the same tone as this

I'm sad that they're not running into another movie the three of them to act poorly I don't know anything about these ones except I think I might have seen the Heath Ledger one I think I saw that a million years ago. But yeah, I don't know. This one I started. It's Christian Bale.

I started it and it's so different from this that it's kind of hilarious to watch it right after this. I don't know how many years passed between... Eight years. That's a pretty long time. I'm excited for you to watch it because I was actually kind of... Well well let's not even

okay let's not say anything take out anything i've even said okay great yeah let's see okay we'll be back next week with that and begins we'll see if we like it bye you Newcomers is a production of HeadGum Studios. Our producer is Ali Khan. Our executive producer is Anya Kanivskaya. The show is edited, mixed, and mastered by Ferris Monchi, who also composed our theme song. Follow us on Letterboxd at Newcomers

and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts. We might just read it on the next show. Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-bye. That was a HitGum original.