Newcomers: Scorsese, with Nicole Byer and Lauren Lapkus - Eternals (w/ Patton Oswalt)

Episode Date: July 19, 2022

The time has come: Pip the Troll (whom you might know as Patton Oswalt) joins Nicole and Lauren to wave goodbye to the Marvel Cinematic Universe and discuss the swirling rumors of a Patton-Oswalt-and-Harry-Styles Eternals spinoff vehicle. But, wipe those tears: Newcomers will be back next week with a very special bonus episode, recorded live from Comic Con in San Diego this weekend. The journey continues! Next week's movie: Thor: Love & Thunder (2022) Like the show? Rate Newcomers 5 stars on Spotify and Apple Podcasts and leave a review for Nicole and Lauren to read on the pod! Follow the podcast on Letterboxd. Advertise on Newcomers via Gumball.fmSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Original. Five years ago, Thanos erased half of the population of the universe. But the people of this planet brought everyone back with a snap of a finger. The sudden return of the population provided the necessary energy for the emergence to begin. How long do we have? Seven days.

We're Eternals. We came here 7,000 years ago... ...to protect humans from the Deviants. Why didn't you guys help fight Thanos? Or any war, or all the other terrible things throughout history? We were instructed not to interfere in any human conflicts unless Deviants are involved. By who? We need to find the others. I haven't seen some of them for centuries.

Hi. Hello. This is what the end of the world looks like. At least we have front row seats. You know what's never saved the planet? Your sarcasm. We've loved these people since the day we arrived. When you love something,

you protect it. You can't protect... ...any of them. I bet you've built the perfect safe house. What's this even made of? Vibranium? Don't! Fall Collection. IKEA. I'm going to go. Oop, oop, oop, oop, oop. It's a new episode of Newcomers.

We're covering the Marvel Cinematic Universe. This is our fifth. What? Well, I was going to say, not only is it a new episode, it's our final episode of the season. Wow, wow, wow. We've come so far. We've seen so much content.

Yeah. Honestly, I think about Marvel a lot now, and it's upsetting. I know, and I've clicked on multiple articles about Marvel stuff to read in my spare time. Yes, you sent me one about Chris Hemsworth not eating meat before kissing Natalie Portman because she's a vegan. And I wrote back, oh, my God, that's so sweet. And I genuinely meant it. I thought that was really thoughtful and considerate. Yeah, we love Marvel, I guess.

It's really weird. I literally have read there was like a BuzzFeed thing that I was like, I guess I'll read this. Like, I don't even know. Like, I'm just I'm interested, I guess, is what I'm trying to say yeah I think I'm well I finished WandaVision you did I did I didn't think I was gonna do it and then there was one night where I was real sleepy and I had taken an Ambien and I missed the last 15 minutes and I dreamt about it I dreamt about not knowing what happened so then then I woke up and re-watched it because I was like,

I gotta know what happened to Wanda. Oh my God. Okay, well I think I have to finish that as well and catch up to you. It's good. And then I was like, maybe I will watch Moon Man. I know that's not what that's called.

I cannot remember. But I know there's a moon and there's white. Moon Knight. Moon Knight. Yeah, but he's dressed like a mummy so it doesn't really make sense to me. I cannot remember. But I know there's a moon and there's white. Moon Knight. Moon Knight. Yeah. But he's dressed like a mummy, so it doesn't really make sense to me. But anyway, we should tell people there's going to be a bonus episode that will be recorded live at Comic-Con that's launching on the 26th. We should just get into it.

We're discussing. Let's get into it. We're talking about Eternals. It came out in 2021, which I thought was a bonus for it because it was so current. Like it was so recently made that I was more intrigued and interested. It is available with a subscription on Disney+. You can also watch it for a fee on Amazon, Apple TV+, Google Play, and Vudu. Obviously, we're going to spoil the entire film.

So if you want to watch it first, do that. Stop. Come back. Or just listen to the whole plot and we'll just tell you everything. Before we bring out our guest who we're very excited about, Nicole, what are your thoughts on the film right off the bat? Wow. There were so many main characters for me to keep track of. And that's not fair. You know, it's not nice. In the first five minutes, when they're all lined up, I was like, one, two.

I counted. And I was like, we don't know who any of them are. I was like, how are none of these from the thing that we've already seen? This is like crazy. I was very upset. And I got to say, so I also watch The Boys. I love The Boys on Amazon. And what's his name?

Homelander shoots lasers out of his eyeballs. And so does Icarus. I can't believe you know that name. I know. Isn't that cool? And he does too. And then I was like, ah, he's just as bad as Homelander. I was like, this is too similar.

It's too similar. Oh, yeah. I guess there's only so many superhero thingies you can do. Sometimes the laser focus was really intense. Like when you were just like, no. Like I was picturing the actor without the lasers. Like just like, bruh. But I did, I was like into this movie for a while.

And then I got less into it. But I thought the beginning was, it really had me hooked. And I liked all the London stuff. I thought that was really fun. We'll get all into the details with our guests. Should we bring our guests out? Ooh, baby, you should do it. You're good at introducing people. We are so

excited for our guest today, Patton Oswalt. Patton is a comedian, actor, and screenwriter that you've seen in pretty much everything you've ever liked, but was also in Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. and Marvel's MODOK, which he co-created and starred in. Holy shit. He is also starring in a new film coming out next month called I Love My Dad.

He also happens to be in the movie we're all here to talk about today, Eternals, as Pip the Troll, which we were excited to see. And the pictures are amazing that we got sent in advance. I was like, I can't wait to see this troll. And then when you came out, was good i got the picture in them i will say i got the picture in the middle of watching and i was kind of glad because i've been like i was like when am i going to see the troll when i'm going to see and i was like oh okay it's coming at the end i now know it's at the end um we're so excited to to welcome to our show pat and oswald thanks for

being here thank you guys so much for having me. I could listen to you guys struggle to describe Marvel titles all day. I'm amazed that Nicole didn't call this movie Always Men. This is amazing. That would have been good. That's a better title. It would have been very, very good.

Always Men. They never die, They're always been. They're always been. But yeah, wow. You guys picked a doozy to end on because you're right. This movie gives you, there's very little connection to the Marvel Universe. It is all new characters, a whole new realm. They just throw it at you.

Yeah, and then they very quickly explain why these incredible super powered people who have combined are like invincible why they didn't stop thanos they were just like we couldn't get involved i know what i know what it was it shook me wait patent so you co-created a marvel thing how familiar are you with Marvel? I'm actually pretty familiar. And I know, I mean, since I was a teenager, I've been into comics. So the Eternals isn't new to me. I was just amazed that they adapted it because it's a very, very deep,

you know, little more difficult thing to digest. The fact that they went for that was, I was very impressed with it. Like, Mike, they're actually doing this? You know, because Jack Kirby very famously was like, I'm going to create a whole new universe within the Marvel universe that no one else interacts with. And then I'm going to just, so, you know,

that was his, the power of his imagination. Now, you know, trying to make that into a whole new movie was a whole different task. Yeah. I felt like it should have been split up into two movies or something. Like a lot fucking happened. So much happened that I was like, wait, now we're here. Now we're here. Selma Hayek, she's supposed to be dead.

Oh, that's a flashback. Oh, no. It was a lot. Yeah. The time jumping through, she's supposed to be dead. Oh, that's a flashback. Oh, no. It was a lot. Yeah, the time jumping threw me for a loop a few times. And I was like trying to keep track of what was going on. And I also really wanted to know if that dead body that was Salma Hayek was

really her laying there or if they like just made a fake thing. You know that was not Salma Hayek. Yeah, there's no way in hell. No, she was like, you'll pay me double my quote if you want me to lay down for a while. Yeah, exactly. Although that, I have been a dead body in scenes

and I actually dig it. I love, it becomes very yoga-esque where you're just sort of lying there, being not present while other people have to act around you. It is so relaxing. I love it. I don't know if I can handle it. I had to be a dead body in Blade Trinity while the

camera's panning over me. It just blissed me out. I've only done it once, but it was a silly death, and I was killed, flattened by a barrel of wine, so they had built this bed underneath the floor.

So it was not comfortable. Wasn't it that murder or something? Yeah, it was Mapleworth murders. Oh yeah. That looked so funny. It was so, oh my God, she's so funny. Paula Pell is a frigging genius. And there's a shot from Mapleworth murders

where I don't want to get too graphic, but she has a certain sexual aid that kind of like vibrates and moves. And then at the end of one of the episodes, they just cut to the city street at night, and this thing is just crawling along on the street. I don't know why that made me laugh so hard. It's so funny. Like, just imagine the end of an episode of Murders He Wrote, and then it's just a mechanized dildo. Yeah. Gone too soon.

Oh, God. Anyway. Wait, was that CISO? No, that was Quibi. Quibi. Oh, yes. Rest in peace, Quibi. Rest in peace, Quibi.

I kind of forgot about Quibi. That was so fast. Isn't that wild? Quibi is not that old. Quibi came out in 2020. It's gone. That's actually shocking. Well, that was what was so messed up, right?

Because it was supposed to be for when you're on the go and literally no one was going anywhere. Yeah, and then they were like, stay home. And Quibi was like, oh, we won't let you watch it on a television. Gather around your phone in your living room. Yeah. So Quibi had to go.

And that was the last thing anyone wanted to do was be reminded that I'm literally, because it felt so post-apocalyptic. like I have just enough power on my phone. I can just watch a little bit. It really felt sort of dire and sad. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, poor Quibi.

I'm so sad for Quibi. Okay, well. I have a question. What is your favorite Marvel property? And wait, what is Mow Doc? Oh my God. Did you just say Mow Doc? She read the pronunciation that we were given.

Mow Doc. As soon as I said it, I was like, that's wrong. Oh God. Mow Doc. That's wrong. Oh, God. No, Doug. My favorite Marvel thing is the Spider-Man movies.

They've been brilliant. Everyone loves Spider-Man. I think I do, too. It's the most relatable. It's the idea that, because I think a lot of us, especially if you're in showbiz, you relate because you remember those years you were struggling, and you also have all these personal problems, and in your mind, you're like, if I could just get rich and famous, if I could just get on a show, all these other problems go away. And then if you do start to make it in showbiz, it doesn't take care of your other problems.

You still have to work on yourself. So the idea that there's this kid with all these kid problems, and then he's suddenly a superhero, but that doesn't help you. Like, everyone can relate to that. Everyone can. You are right. It's really a superhero. But that doesn't help you. Like, everyone can relate to that. Everyone can. You are right. It's really well done, so. Yeah. So wait, Lauren, your favorite is Spider-Man?

I think it might be. Well, I really liked the one that we recently watched, Far From Home. Mm-hmm. Oh my God. Which I know people have mixed reactions to, but I like that one. I think I like that one too.

I loved it. Yeah. Okay, good. Again, confusing, because they're all like, gotta gotta get home we didn't have to be home and far from home like why are they why do they do that they're all like homecoming yes far from home right right it was too much away from home i think my favorite one is dr strange. The first one? Wow. I loved the first one. I've seen it twice now. Like, I watched it again.

I, like, really liked it. I think I liked it because of the beginning. I liked the struggle where he was, like, kind of arrogant, and then his little fingies weren't working. And then he was like, well, I got to figure out my fingies. And then I loved Endgame and Infinity War I think it was Scott Aukerman who was like you're going to be very impressed of how they

fold everything in and I was we did like that the blip I was glad they mentioned the blip for a little bit in the Eternals I love that blip yeah the blip was really exciting I feel like I'm forgetting some of the first ones we watched like I liked Ant-Man

Ant-Man was Oh yeah. I liked Ant-Man. Ant-Man was terrific. Yeah. That was fun. A hero who's not exactly a hero who does actually, I am struggling just to live a small life with his daughter. That's actually all he wants. I thought it was great.

And I love Paul Rudd. Yeah. Oh yeah. And we liked Thor Ragnarok. Yes, we did. That was the funniest one. Yeah.

I'm excited to see Thor now Thor. What's that one called? Thor now Thor? I don't know what this new one's called. Thor now Thor. Well, MODOK was a thing that I developed with my friend Jordan Blum, and he is a villain,

but he is this beloved lower tier villain who Jack Kirby clearly created when he was having a bad day. It feels like it was the end of the day and they went, we need a new villain really quick, draw something. And he went, screw it. And just drew this giant head with little arms. Here, he's got a big face, easy to draw.

I'm leaving. So the whole character feels like a temper tantrum. It feels like somebody having a nervous breakdown. And he's this guy who, he's Captain America's villain, hates Captain America, hates Iron Man, but also hates all the other villains because they don't rank him up with like a Doctor Doom or a Green Goblin in his mind.

He's like, I need to be, so he hates everything. He's just so put out and all of his, he wants to conquer the world, but it's for the pettiest reasons. And he's almost like the opposite of Spider-Man where he got with great power. Comes great responsibility. Yeah, comes great responsibility.

But with him, with great power, comes even greater pettiness. That sounds fun. I like it. I might watch it. I'm looking at him right now. I Googled his image, and he's a really funny-looking character.

It's like a head. What is he, a head? What is he in? He's a gigantic. They did an experiment on a guy. They did an experiment on this janitor named George Tarleton, and they made him super intelligent, but it grew his head gigantic.

And he could shoot beams and control people's thoughts. But the rest of his body is all shrunken and withered. So he sits in this little floating chair. This is funny. And it's just, again, it was Jack Kirby having a bad day. That's all it was. I love it. So Jack Kirby is the person who drew everything,

and is Stan Lee the person who came up with the ideas? Because I feel like people talk about Stan Lee a lot, and I feel like you're the only person who's really brought up Jack Kirby. Well, Jack Kirby was the guy that created, with Stan Lee, a lot of these characters he created himself. He was the one that came up with the idea of, I mean, you know, Hulk and Fantastic Four and Captain America. He and another guy, he created Captain America.

And on the first issue of Captain America, I think it came out in 1941, while we were, I don't think we'd entered the war yet. And on the first cover, Captain America is punching out Hitler. And at the time, a lot of Americans were like Hitler's not doing anything wrong he's just trying to you know and they and there were a lot of Nazis and so a bunch of Nazis showed up at the in the lobby of the building you know send that guy down here um they called up like hey we're we're American Nazis and we're with the American Bund and you know if you have something to say about Hitler,

why don't you come down here? And Jack Kirby, who's like, it was like five foot five and shaped like a fire hydrant, which is like, I'm coming down right now. He slammed the phone down and he was coming to, and they all fled. And if he had gone down there,

he would have murdered everybody. He sounds like he thought he was awesome. Yeah. Jack Kirby was awesome. So why doesn't Jack Kirby get as much recognition as Stan Lee? This is my theory, and I'm not a Stan Lee hater. Stan Lee and Jack Kirby were both sides of a necessary coin. Jack Kirby was the fountain of ideas that just came, you know, and he could just draw and come up with stuff.

And Stan Lee was the other guy you need. He was the hype man. He was the guy who was willing to do anything possible to push these things, to get them on newsstands, hype, hype, hype, hype, hype. And so without the one, there isn't the other. It's almost like when people who get down on Mick Jagger, it's like, yes, Mick Jagger is a whatever he is, but without Mick Jagger, there's no Rolling Stones. He's the guy who keeps the books, who makes them all rich, who is the reason that Keith Richards can get drunk and fall out of a coconut tree and survive and be this legend is because Mick Jagger is making sure all the bills are paid. Oh, interesting. I like that about Mick Jagger. Yeah, I'm learning so much.

Look, he acts like this crazy, you know, this dancing whirlwind. But trust me, he has a degree in economics, I think, from Eaton. And he has made those people billionaires because he knows what the hell he's doing. That is awesome. That is fun. I just wish that I heard more about jack kirby like it like kind of it feels like he's been erased from like i mean like stan lee also has been in every movie up to yeah yeah well jack kirby yeah unfortunately passed away but now there's a lot of like a huge graphic novel just came out about him i feel like someone will do a biopic because he had a really interesting life.

And Eternals is just another one of his. Eternals was created at the time. Remember all those books? Chariots of the Gods? It was a huge craze in the 70s where everyone thought that ancient aliens came down and actually seeded humanity

and built the pyramids and they're the reason why we advanced. It all came off of like 2001. And so Jack Kirby was like, I like that idea. So his whole thing is the Eternals came down, and they're the ones who made humanity and superheroes and all this. So if he wanted to make a myth behind the myth, that was his whole idea with the Eternals.

Massive ideas that, again, I'm impressed and shocked that Marvel did that as a movie. Like, we're going to take the most esoteric, crazy, massive idea that Jack Kirby ever did, and we're going to turn it into a movie. Yeah, well, that was my favorite element of it, that I was like, is this true? Did this really happen?

I took a geology course in college I don't remember Icarus forming the Mariana Trench Patton you know so much

this is like I really don't no I it seems as such well you honestly I know a lot about stuff

you could be lying and I'd be like oh what if I made this whole thing up? Oh, anyone could come on here and tell us anything and we would never know if it was true or not That's the fun of the show I'd never double check and I'd repeat it to someone

incorrectly The other thing that's crazy about your journals is again, it is the biggest idea in the Marvel Universe and they gave it to a brilliant filmmaker whose main focus is very small, low-budget human stories. Chloe Zhao, you know, did The Rider and Nomadland and songs my brothers taught me.

Very, very handheld, almost near documentary-type films. So to go that leap to then, you're doing The Eternals. You're doing the thing that's even bigger than endgame go wait what i know it happens doesn't that feel like it happens to a lot of like indie directors where suddenly they're a huge movie and it's like wow like how do you even process the the change in what you're doing like it seems so seems so hard. I don't know. I feel like I'm lying, but I think the director of, oh shit, I can't remember the name of the movie,

but it's got that man from Top Gun and then that lady from Big Little Lies. Tom Cruise, Nicole Kidman. Nope, none of those people. They're much younger. They're much, much younger. I think that director, it's like Summer or something.

I think that director directed the Fantastic Four. Miles Teller. It was a Miles Teller movie. Yeah. I could be lying. Am I lying? Well, he did a little indie superhero movie called Chronicle that was one of the best super movies ever made.

And it was so well done and so well received that they gave him Fantastic Four. So sometimes, you know, sometimes it works out, sometimes it doesn't. I mean, the guy who did

the three Spider-Man movies did the most low budget, like, super indie movies before getting to do Spider-Man. They just absolutely gave those to him. They did a movie

with Kevin Bacon called Cop Car, which is the definition of a basically no-budget film. It's a great movie, but to look at that and go...

Is Cop Car about a car that is a cop and arrests people? It's a very weird superhero movie. It's a... They actually let a car join the police force.

Like, let's count the middleman. Why are we paying two people? We gotta pay, gotta drive it. Let's just pay the car. It's about two runaways who steal a cop car and the cop is looking for them and the cop is actually a criminal.

And it's so well done. It's so brilliant. That does sound good. But to watch it, you would watch it and go, that's our Spider-Man director. Right. So there must be some kind of weird instinct that they have with these guys.

Because that guy, those three Spider-Man movies are fantastic. Or fantastic. Yeah, yeah. But it'd be like watching Jim Jarmusch's Stranger Than Paradise and going, that's our next Star Wars director. That's Return of the Jedi.

Let's give it to him. Yeah, I mean, I thought she did an amazing job. That's our next Star Wars director. That's Return of the Jedi. Let's give it to him. Yeah. I mean, I thought she did an amazing job. I feel like it's a huge story. That feels like the hardest thing about it. It's like, how do you whittle this down to a mere two hours and 38 minutes? And I don't think they should have. I think it should have been longer.

I think it should have been two movies. I kind of agree with Nicole. I agree it should have been two movies. I kind of agree with Nicole. I agree it should have been two movies. Because it's such an epic premise, and I don't know if I like the movie. So, like, after I finish it, or midway through, I was like, I hate it. And then I finished it, and I was like,

no, I think I actually liked the idea, and I think I liked it, but it was just so condensed, and it was so, so dense with, like, information that I was like, no, boy, I think my head hurts a little bit. Maybe that's why I didn't like it. I don't know. I think it should have been two movies. Wow.

All right. Should we get into our daily bugle? Go ahead. Oh, my God. I just remembered. You're talking about little indie directors doing big movies. David Lynch was brought in to maybe do Return of the Jedi, but he turned it down.

Whoa. Oh, interesting. That would have been cool. That would have been a different movie. Yeah, he met with Lucas and he's like, I don't, and also I think he was gun shy because he had done Dune, which was a huge disaster. But I think, I'm sure when he was talking to,

he was talking about these Ewoks. So there's a tall furry thing, but then there's a planet of small furry. I don't think I can do that. I'm gonna have to pass, George. Okay, well here's our news segment the Daily Bugle

we're giving a recap of what's going on in the MCU Charlie Cox and Vincent D'Onofrio will reunite as Daredevil and the Kingpin in the

Disney Plus series Echo I mean hell yes have we seen those characters we haven't seen those characters

on our I think we've watched no I haven't seen those characters. No. I haven't seen them. You guys have not. Yes, I have. I don't know. Echo is in Hawkeye and Kate Bishop. And Echo is a huge character in the comic. She's

deaf and she is like another version of Daredevil. And she was also huge because she was illustrated by an illustrator named David Mack, who is one of the most gorgeous comic book artists, uses like watercolors and oils. It's amazing art. Amazing art. Yeah.

Okay. Maybe I'll watch. I don't know. The fourth Captain America movie. Wait, there's going to be another. Oh, it's gonna star Anthony Mackie oh yes

heck yeah aka okay as Sam Wilson aka Captain America it found its director Julius Ona who directed 2018 the 2018 film

The Cloverfield Paradox uh will take on the film that's interesting okay that's cool I saw some tweets um

Leah I feel like you're you would know about this. Like the tweets with Chris Evans where he was sort of correcting the Hollywood Reporter. Oh, yeah. So the Hollywood Reporter covered this and they chose for like a poll quote just for their Twitter engagement a very convoluted sentence that was like just really hesitant to admit that Sam Wilson is Captain America. Yeah, it was a super odd phrasing. Yeah. The role of Captain America will be played.

Within context in the article, it's fine, but isolated, it seems very racist. So Anthony Mackie is reprising his longtime Marvel character of Sam Wilson, but will not, however, portray Wilson's longtime alter ego and Captain America sidekick, Falcon. You could just say. It's like if you're doing a tweet, like you should make it short and clear what you're trying to say.

So then Chris Evans wrote under it, Anthony Mackie is Captain America. Yeah. And then they were like, totally. And by the way, the whole series, Falcon and the the winter soldier which is brilliant one of the best marvel series they've done is how sam becomes captain america and it's so brilliantly done and it's again really cool where they kind of point out that a lot of the stuff that we were cheering for in the avengers and Captain America is kind of BS. It's imperialism and it's fascism.

And they go to some really weird, dark places with that show that I couldn't believe that they did. And there was a Captain America before Captain America. There was a soldier that they tested out that worked, but he was African-American. So they didn't want to make him to be Captain America. So instead they just used him as a guinea pig to test the stuff,

and then they gave it to a white guy, and they talk about his story, and it is an amazing series. Oh, that's really interesting. And at the end of it, at the end episode, Sam becomes, Anthony Mackie becomes Captain America, and it's such a great episode. So the fact that Variety's like, oh, here's a weird twist.

It's not a weird twist. They spent six episodes setting that up, and it was set up in the comics 10 years ago. He's been Captain America for a decade. It was set up in Endgame. It's literally the end of Endgame. Right where he's holding the thing. Yeah, he goes, this is yours now.

Yeah. Interesting. Yeah. Anyway, sorry,, this is yours now. Yeah. It's interesting. Yeah. Anyway, sorry, I went off on that little rant, but my God. No, no. Much deserved. I think it was needed. Yep. So yeah, they're doing another Captain America movie.

Yeah. The next bit of news is that, this is huge news, everyone. We don't know anything that we're talking about. Alden Ironreich has joined the cast of Ironheart. I know Alden, but I don't know Ironheart. Ironheart is... Do you want me to say who Ironheart is? Please?

Yeah. We've mentioned it a couple times. You'll remember. It'll come back to you. Oh, no, I Googled, and we are into this. This is a cool one. This is the 15-year-old. Oh, yes.

New Ironman. She Iron a cool one. This is the 15-year-old. Oh, yes. New Iron Man. She ironed the heart. Yes. Ironed the heart. Riri from the comics. Riri, who basically is this child prodigy that kind of laps Tony Stark. And Tony Stark kind of is like, oh, you're actually building better tech than me. How about you just take this over?

Like, it's this, yeah, you got this. And she's Iron Man now. That is very fun. I like that. It's fun and it's also start them young and you can keep them for years and years and years and years and years and years and years and years and years. Because, you know, if you start them too old,

they get too old and then you gotta kill them off. Yeah. Next bit of news, Marvel unveiled a first look at Jamila Jamil as Titania in She-Hulk Attorney at Law that's fine

see I'm glad you read that one because I almost said Titiana Titiana Titiana oh is it what did I say

no what you said you said it right Titania I did say it right yeah wow Titiana Titiana's funny Lauren. Wow. Titiana.

Titiana's funny, Lauren. I love it. Titiana, what are you doing here? Oh, God. She looks very cool. Yeah, yeah. Titania is a kind of villain, kind of hero, sort of walks the line in the comics, is married to Crusher Creel, the absorbing man.

And so I don't know if they'll have- You know so much. I'm sorry. This is so sad. Who is, wait, Crusher Man? Wait, who did you say? Crusher Creel. Crusher Creel.

The Absorbing Man. Yeah. He can, any substance he touches, he can turn into that substance if he needs to. Like a kitchen counter? Yes, kind of. He could, if you want to, if you want to,

his arm to look like beautiful Italian marble, there you go. Just have him touch your kitchen counter. I don't know why that's the first thing my brain went to, but I was like, that's fun. Maybe I'm tired. I'm like,

I could rest if I just become a kitchen countertop. There you go. People will cut things on me and that's all. Speaking of being tired, should we take a break countertop. There you go. People will cut things on me and that's all. Speaking of being tired, should we take a break? Yeah. If you're wondering what a NordVPN is, I'll tell you.

VPN stands for Virtual Private Network, a service that protects your internet connection and online privacy. A VPN creates an encrypted tunnel for your data, protect your online identity by hiding your IP address, and allow you to use public Wi-Fi hotspots safely.

I'm using a Nord VPN myself. And honestly, it's very easy to use. You connect with one click to enable auto-connect for zero-click protection. It has amazing speed. NordVPN is one of the fastest VPNs out there, and it supports every major platform, Windows, Android, iOS, Linux, even Android TV. You can switch your virtual location to access apps and websites in other countries. Get an exclusive NordVPN deal here

at nordvpn.com slash newcomers. N-O-R-D-V-P-N dot com slash newcomers. It's risk-free with Nord's 30-day money-back guarantee. Link is in the episode description. Okay, we got to get into this plot summary. We for sure do. All right. I'll start. The film opens with a scroll. I was already going, oh, no. Yes, I was upset about it. I was pretty upset that they were asking me to read.

I was like, is this Star Wars again? What's happening? Star Wars, exactly. It explains that the Eternals are immortal heroes from the planet Olympia who serve the prime celestial Arishem and protect intelligent life from creatures called deviants. And I did go back. I paused it and I read it and I took it in, everyone.

So just out there, just know that I did my best. Right, right, right. The scroll then teases that Eternals had an unwavering faith in Arishem until one mission led by the prime Eternal Ajak, Salma Hayek, changed everything. Ten Eternals. Wait, I thought there was nine. Arrive on Earth in the year 5000 BC. Ajak, Circe, oh, Akira, I couldn't.

Icarus. Richard, Icarus, Sprite, which I was like, why is Sprite a child? That just seems like a mean thing to call a child Sprite. Okay, Thathalos, Gigilmesh, Drooch, Macari, Kingo, why did I get this paragraph? And then Fina, in their spaceship called Damo, they land in Mesopotamia

and begin to eliminate the deviants. Okay, here's the thing. We go to Mesopotamia and I could not believe how current those people looked. I was like, this is not, these are not ancient people. They look like they were just like found, you know, on a, I don't know, a casting site or something. I was like, they don't look old and ancient. Yeah. You mean just like the human beings under the makeup? Yeah. Like, I mean like, yeah, yeah. They seemed present day. Yeah. I wanted

them to look older. And then in the present day, London, which I love to see, yeah, yeah, they seemed present day. Yeah, I wanted them to look older. And then in the present day London, which I love to see, I wish more of the film took place there, Cersei works as a museum curator with her boyfriend, Dane Whitman, Kit Harington, and they have a nice, cute flirtation. And after an earthquake interrupts a class they're teaching, Cersei and Dane go out for Dane's birthday, where Sprite meets up with them. And on the way home, they're attacked by a deviant.

Icarus, Cersei's ex, arrives to help them fight it off, and Cersei tells Dane what she is and that her family has been in a holding pattern for centuries as the Eternals are not allowed to interfere in human conflict unless it involves Deviants. Icarus tells Cersei and Sprite that they need to find the others, and Cersei says they should start with Ajak. I gotta say, Dane takes this all in pretty, pretty like, well, he's like,

oh, a deviant? Got it. You're eternal? Got it. I love you. And that's what I'm looking for. Yeah,

he's super accepting and I thought he's a really, I liked his character a lot. Does he believe that Sprite is Cersei's child? I think he thought Spr sprite was like her ward like her her do you know like she took care of sprite but not necessarily her child

right i think i thought i was like what does he think is going on there were so many questions that i would have because also sprite turned into a woman which he didn't see but I mean still in the bar Sprite was looking like a woman which I thought was also like not cool like I don't know that seemed weird. Well Sprite is like trapped as a child but can make whatever

Sprite wants to appear so I'm like why can't Sprite just project herself as a woman? Yeah like always. Yeah I don't know okay um well well flashback to ancient babylon in 575 bc where the eternals continue to eliminate deviance ajak communicates with arsham and keeps them updated on their progress arsham tells them not to become attached to humanity at a party Eternals interact with humans in their own way, while Ajak encourages Icarus,

ooh, I said it right, to find a life outside. I thought this was pretty insulting. She was like, get a life outside of serving Arsham. And then tells Cersei how he feels. Then we see a montage of their millennia's long romance and marriage. This was for me. Yeah, I like that. I think this is the first Marvel movie

where people fuck. Yeah. I think it is the first sex scene. I liked their relationship. Yeah. They marketed the shit out of it too. They made a big deal about how there's sex in this movie.

They wanted you to know. I liked it. I did too. And I thought that they're, I liked seeing their relationship because she said they I thought that they're, I liked seeing their relationship because she said they were together for like 5,000 years. And I liked seeing that,

but I didn't, you know, I also was really enjoying the present day with Dane. So I was kind of like, how long are we going to stay here? We do go back and forth a bit. So we go back to the present day. Cersei arrives in South Dakota

with Icarus and Sprite and they find Ajak's body on the ground, apparently killed by a deviant who absorbed her healing powers. And the sphere inside Ajak that allows her to speak to Arsham emerges and attaches itself to Cersei. I was like, so you are all, like, you're super powerful, and you went to South Dakota? Like, of all places to live?

Why are they there? And also, it reminded me of the Avengers, one of them, where they're all in that house that Hawkeye lives in. Hawkeye, yeah, he lives out on a farm or something. It looked like that. Are they going there? And then they're not. They're just in South Dakota.

Well, maybe, you know, again, Chloe Zhao's cinematography is so amazing. It's showing the infinitude of even basic everyday life. So maybe what they're saying there is that when you see the expanse of the universe, you crave a little patch of normalcy that you can just live on and actually be. Weirdly enough, it mirrors how thanos was done with the universe he just wanted to live in a little house and you know make just not be connected with the everything it's too much yeah which is pretty funny to be like i murdered half of the world let me get in

a little cottage and make myself breakfast i just want a little me time just a little time to really think about what I've done so we flash back to 1521 when the Spanish invasion on the Aztec capital of uh oh Coen starts with an attack on the last of the deviants

Thena glitches and attacks the others. Ajak offers to wipe Thena's memory but you know glisham volunteers to look over her gilgamesh glisham gilgamesh gilgamesh volunteers honestly it's spelt the way it's pronounced all right gilgamesh volunteers to look over her, which I thought was very nice. Droog, am I saying that right? Droog? Droog. Frustrated with how he is unable to stop.

No, Droog, that's right. Oh, well. Droog is right. Lauren corrected me, so thank you. I did help out with that one. He's unable to stop the comms, like leaves Ajak, releases the Eternals to go their own ways.

I don't want to make enemies here, but Angelina Jolie, I really feel like before they started shooting, made the choice to say she was never going to try one time in any take. And I say that with like, she has had an illustrious career. I find her to be great.

She's beautiful, but she does the least amount of acting I have ever seen in a movie. Okay, listen. I'm going to argue the opposite here. I think that was actually a pretty bold choice because they reveal later on, she's essentially the team's Hulk. Once she gets going, she starts killing everyone around her. So she is playing someone who is basically,

she's living her life where she's just stepped on a landmine and she can't take her foot off of it. Like that's kind of how she's playing it. And it was actually a very controlled, and you're right, it's a ballsy choice because a lot of people watch this and go, well, she's not doing anything. She is sitting on an atomic bomb the whole time.

Oh, I guess you're right. Because when she does start fighting, she does like come alive. Okay, wow. And then has to go like, someone needs to stop me. she does, like, come alive. Right. Wow. And then has to go, like, someone needs to stop me. Like, someone, you better stop me. Yeah. I think that's why Gilgamesh, Gilgamesh is the one guy who can, like, shut her down and

stop her from killing everybody. Mm-hmm. Wait, which one's Gilgamesh? Like, I felt, like, happy to see her. Mm-hmm. I feel like we don't see her in things enough. And so I was also just, like, she's so stunning. It's, like, my, this is my toxic part of my brain

that was like, she's so pretty. I don't care what she does. But then I just like liked looking at her. Wow. So I was kind of more on that tip. But yeah, I mean, I just like seeing her. I was excited when I saw her in the opening because I didn't expect it.

I had no idea who was in this. So it felt like kind of, I was like, whoa, she's in this? That seems crazy. And then I was like, do her kids like Marvel? Is this why she's here? Like it felt, cause it did was like whoa she's in this that seems crazy and I but I was like do her kids like Marvel is this why she's here like it felt because it did feel like why is she doing this but then when she did the fighting she was so good at the fighting she was really great at the end I really or maybe it was like I don't know I don't know at one point when she fights

what's his name uh Icarus Icarus when she fights Icarus. Icarus. When she fights Icarus, I loved it. When she was like, I've always wanted to fight you. I was like, ooh, here we go. That made me happy. Wow. Yeah. Oh, and then this next part was a part that I really enjoyed. So back in the present, Cersei, Sprite, and Icarus find Kingo, who's played by Kumail

Nanjiani, shooting a Bollywood film. He joins them with his valet, Karun Hamish Patel. I love that character. Love that character. God, it was great. So funny. So sweet. So sweet.

And when he thought that Kumail was like a vampire and tried to stake him, that made me laugh so hard. And I just love their dynamic. Me too. And I liked this character that he was like living his life being a movie star. He could do anything.

And he's just like reinventing himself as different generations of the same family acting in movies. And Kumail's character wants to shoot a documentary on the plane. So they find Gilgamesh and Thayna in Australia where a deviant has already attacked them. And the group reconnects over dinner. Cersei steps out and connects with Arsham, and she learns that the Eternals have been lied to. There is no planet Olympia. They're essentially robots whose minds are erased

after they prepare a planet for the emergence of a new celestial, which destroys said planet, and the emergence of a celestial called Tiamat on Earth is about to happen in a few days. See, okay, this made me so mad i said okay so this big old thing made this mess but then can't fix the mess that they made so then it's like tormenting these eternals who think that they're doing good but then they're just cleaning up the mess that the thing i was very upset yeah, I thought it was really interesting where you think that, oh, I'm on the, it's a tale as old as time.

I've been tricked into this mission that I am convinced is this beautiful, holy chore, but it's actually I'm serving a very small, elite, powerful group, and it's wiping out these innocents that they've made us fall in love with, basically. They sold this to us as, you're saving humanity, but no, you're not. And then, so, they're brought to that moment of moral choice, which I thought was actually really cool, you know? Patton, you keep changing my mind on things. Well, I'm... That's why, like, I thought Kumail's character,

Kingo's story was kind of weirdly poignant because it's almost like he felt like I've been trying to save these people for so long and I realize I can't. But I can at least entertain them and give them a few moments of happiness before they're like, like there is something really beautiful about that, that I'm going to make movies and just make them happy. Like there's there's value in that. I was like, OK. Yeah. movies and just make them happy like there's there's value in that i was like okay yeah i i like that part when he was like kind of like i don't know a lot of people depend on me i need to finish it and i think like some people watching i'd be like oh well like an entitled actor or whatever but i was like i got that that he was like i can make people happy and i can help people

that way and i thought it was I thought that was like a really interesting part of the movie I liked that part me too and then I liked the private plane I was like when do I get one so disillusioned they find Druig in the Amazon village he has ruled over

since the 16th century and asks if he can use his powers to put tmh to sleep at night the village is ambushed by deviants to everyone's surprise cersei turns a deviant into a tree something she has never been able to do uh never been able to do sentient beings before but deviant crow bill sarsgaard i didn't know that was Bill good old Bill yeah he I feel like has made a career wait Bill Sarsgaard

is he the he's the clown in It right yeah yeah he's he's made a career just like

being not himself you know what I mean I know it's so interesting how do you get into that how do you get cast in that way yeah

like it's like the other guy who obviously i can't remember his name right now andy circus yes like how does that become your thing like i'm so curious about that okay well so cersei and icarus go to chicago where fastos lives with his new husband and young son i loved this yeah me too a flashback shows that fastos gave up on humanity after the technology he gave them ultimately led to the creation of the atom bomb. And back in the present, his husband convinces him to go with Cersei and Icarus and fight for humanity if he can. I thought that was so sweet.

And then they played that song, like, that's a 50s song about the world is ending if he's not here or whatever. It was just so cute. I thought that was great I also really liked that all of the Eternals kind of had to be convinced by somebody else because they had just given up and I I really I liked it I liked it a lot that it's like and it's not like an unwilling hero it's just like I've done so much I've been around so long I can't do anything else and someone's like no I see this in you and I think you can do a little bit more so i like yeah yeah and i could totally imagine being in their position and being like i

guess i'm a robot who has no memories why am i even right yeah so the group goes to iraq where damo is half buried and then they find makari who has stayed in the ship since the eternal split up and has become a hoarder of human artifacts. Vathos proposes they channel their energy into Druidic to form a uni-mind so he can take control of the Celestial and stop the Emergence. But not everyone's on board with the plan. Flashback to a few days before the Deviant attack in London.

Icarus goes to visit Ajak in South Dakota. She tells him that the Emergence is set to begin and that the blip, Nicole. Icarus goes to visit Ajak in South Dakota. She tells him that the emergence is set to begin and that the blip, Nicole. I was so excited. It's specifically how the Avengers fought for humanity caused her to lose her faith in Arsham. And Icarus then takes her to Alaska where deviants have emerged from ice due to

global warming and throws her down to them. He takes her body back to her home staging it as a random attack. This was a fucking twist. I didn't see it coming. I was like, Icarus is nasty and bad. I was so mad when he pushed her. I gasped audibly.

I really didn't like it. Yeah. So the pushing, we've seen a few people get pushed off cliffs. And I always think like, really? Yeah. I got to say, Lauren, you fall off a few people get pushed off cliffs. And I always think like, really? Yeah. I got to say, Lauren, you fall off a cliff in The Wrong Missing. And to this day, it's one of the funniest things I've ever seen. It's so funny.

Especially your reaction afterward when you're just, your face is mushed into the goddamn sand and you're giggling. It was the most psychotic. I just, that made me laugh so hard. Thank you. That you're giggling afterward It was the most psychotic. That made me laugh so hard. Thank you. That you're giggling afterward. Oh, my God. On my last day of shooting, I had to get inside of like a spinning,

sort of like get strapped in with my arms and legs and like a circle thing, like a gyrosphere or whatever it's called, and then be spun around in circles so they could capture my face as I'm flipping over in the tree, and I almost threw up, and it was really, I was like, I thought I was done shooting and they were like one more. Oh my God.

Ooh, wait, that's truly, that's insane. And I didn't realize that's how they would shoot that. You'd think in this day and age, they'd have something a little bit easier. No,

it was literally that. And that was really intense, but I did it. Yeah. Yeah. Take that De Niro so back in the domo am I saying that right who knows they said I'm not sorry to find

it the much Icarus tells him that he cannot go along with their plan and that he's known the mission for centuries. They deduce that he killed Ajak, he leaves, and Sprite goes with him. Kingo, unable to choose a side, leaves with Karan. The remaining Eternals get to work on a plan

to stop the emergence, and Fastos uses the sphere inside Circe to amplify their powers so they can create a Unamind. They arrive in the Indian Ocean where Druig attempts to connect with Tiamat, but Icarus attacks him. Makkari, Thayna, and Phastos take on Icarus so that Cersei can try to use her powers on Tiamat instead.

And then Sprite attacks Cersei by projecting an illusion of Ajak and stabbing her in the back. Druid knocks her out and Cersei rejoins the group. And by the way, Cersei's my favorite character. I haven't said that yet. I like Cersei too. And I feel like they said her name so much

in the movie. And I was like, is this for me? So I pronounced this right during the podcast. The actress that plays her, Gemma, Gemma Chan,

Gemma Chan, is such a movie star. She's great. Good Lord. I know. Of course they like made her a character. Yeah, she's amazing.

She's really great. I love her. Meanwhile, Crow's amazing. She's really great. I love her. Meanwhile, Crow fights Athena. He pretends to be Gilgamesh. There you go. What? Close enough. Okay, but she resists and overpowers him.

Thastos restrains Icarus, but he escapes and reaches Cersei. He almost kills her, but he can't bring himself to do it. The uni-mind activates and amplifies Cersei's powers so she can turn the celestial into marble. Guilt-ridden, Icarus flies into the sun. That's the one thing I know about Icarus. He flew too close to the sun. Oh, really?

Didn't fly into it, but he flew too close. Well, that's like ancient Greek mythology, not this, but it's the same name. Marvel seems to borrow a lot from Greek mythology. But they're also suggesting that because these things have been there eternally, their names have now fallen into our folklore. So Icarus is from Greek myth. Gilgamesh is from Babylonian myth. So there's the Epic of Gilgamesh.

So they're like, oh, that's where we got the names of these stories. People encountered these beings, couldn't process it, so wrote stories about it instead. Mm-hmm. Ah, yeah. Interesting. It is wild, though, because then there's also, like, Thor and Hercules and Odin who are just guys. Mm-hmm. So it's an interesting, like, combination of real person and person turned into myth.

Oh, that's a good way to think. I never thought of it that way. Yeah, there's just somewhere. Well, there's the Pantheon, and then there's, well, they influence the Pantheon, but they're not actually those people. Yeah. I didn't want to spoil Love and Thunder. I almost spoiled Love and Thunder, but I don't want to.

You'll see. Oh, yeah. You couldn't spoil it. You know I won't remember a thing. But someone out there might. So Cersei uses the last of her amplified power to turn Sprite into a human so that she can experience what it's like to grow up. And two weeks later, Thana, Makkari, and Druig depart in the Domo to recruit more Eternals to their cause. In London, Kingo takes Sprite to start school.

All seems well, but while Cersei is out in the park with Dane, she's abducted by Arsham. The Celestial tells her, Phastos and Kingo, that he wants to evaluate their memories for judgment. And then we have a mid-credits scene. Oh, please go ahead. No, no, no. I thought it was wild that he, like, raptured them up. And then I was like, this feels like a blip again.

And I was happy. Nicole really loves the blip. She wants the blip to happen. She loves that blip. She wants the blip to happen. She loves that blip. Loves that blip, man. It's just so interesting to me. Yeah. I was going to bounce through

these mid and post-credits scenes so we can just chill right ahead. So in a mid-credits scene, Dane returns to the museum and opens a case containing an ancient enchanted sword belonging to his ancestors but is caught off guard

by a mysterious off-screen voice, Blade, played by Mahershala Ali, as we said. And in a post-credits scene, the three Eternals on the Domo notice that Cersei, Fastos, and Kingo are missing. They are then visited by Eros, Harry Styles, Thanos' brother,

and his troll companion, Pip, Pat and Oswald, who's here with us today. And Eros reveals that he knows where they can find their allies. And that's our movie. That's the movie. A lot happens. Okay, here's a question about Eros. All right.

So Eros is Thanos' brother. Is he like chill with what Thanos did? Or do they not speak? No, he is estranged from Thanos. Thanos was a weird like, was born into that family and then rejected them and went off to become, it's like the black sheep of the family, but in this case,

the purple sheep, but he went off to become the mad God, the mad Titan. And then arrows is a star Fox. That was his name in the comics. Star. Oh yeah. Cause the dude's a Fox.

I get that. I like that. Yeah. So then I, I assume that he and Pip, the troll, Yeah, because the dude's a fox. We're on board. I like that. Yeah. So then I assume that he and Pip the Troll, Pip the Troll was a long time ago, was an Eternal. I think he still is, but something happened where he was turned into this weird troll-like looking thing. And he's actually come to accept it. He has that stein that he carries.

He can make any alcohol appear in it. And he can do weird spells and stuff like that, and he basically just spends his life crocked trying to help out good people. He's a chaotic good drunk. For that role, did you have to physically do anything with a green screen, or was it all just audio, like voiceover, or how did you do it?

I had to wear a motion capture suit, and i had to sit on a one of those office chairs with the wheels on it they took the back off so i could zip around so my eyeline would be right and but that there's there's there's photos of me and of harry styles and i coming down that hallway and i'm in my emotion with that thing that you know films my face with all the dots on it and you know it was it was angelina and harry and i and and and the rest of them were all in that ship talking and there you go yeah that's fun so yeah i was i think i posted a picture on twitter i'll send i'll send one to one of you guys you can post it for this thing but it's me like in my little thing i love that that's so cool. I have a question

that I'm sure everyone has asked. What's Angelina Jolie like? Is she down to earth and nice and kind? Does she smile? She is very nice, very down to earth. And I'm not making anything up. She was very chill talking to everybody, talking about their experience because they filmed this thing all over the world. So they were in some really odd places where she was like, we were in this place. I think it was either in Africa or South America, but it's like all the design, all the decor had frozen in like the early 80s.

So it was like, you're in this new wave paradise. It was so odd. I forgot the place she was describing, but she's just, you know, she's a very curious world traveler and very chill to talk to. She would just, but she's just, you know, she's a, she's a, a, a very curious world traveler and very, very chill to talk to. She would just, and in between takes, she just sat in the chairs with everyone. She wasn't like, I'll be in my trailer. Let me know when everyone else is like, she would just sit there and have a granola bar

and just talk about everything. I was really hoping you were like, she backhanded me and I was on that chair and I wheeled right off a cliff. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. She could not have been cooler. Very chill. So Eternals was, this is our awards section. It was not up for any major awards,

but it was given the seal of authentic representation from the Ruderman Family Foundation for the portrayal of Makari. The seal is given to films and television series that feature actors with disabilities and substantial speaking roles. Yeah. Yeah, and I thought that Makari, the way that they handled Makari,

again, it really played to Chloe Zhao's strengths because she's really good at, if you watch The Rider, she's so good at filming faces and getting faces that are telling you what the person's thinking without talking so that's why i think the scenes with makari are very memorable and really pop yeah chloe knows how to capture that and the woman who played her lauren lauren ridloff she's very

very good i thought she did a wonderful job. Yeah. Amazing. The film also won an Outstanding Film Category, in the Outstanding Film Category at the GLAAD Media Awards, which is great. Oh! There you go. It grossed $402.1 million at the box office and had the second largest opening weekend during the COVID pandemic

for a Hollywood film. Guys, that's the Oswalt bump. That's the Oswalt bump in action right there. Once it gets out, man, you can just add a couple other zeros at the end of that. Yeah. And the film saw mixed reviews from critics. Justin Chang of the LA Times

sums up the mixed critical consensus by noting that Eternals is clearly one of the more interesting movies Marvel will ever make and hopefully the least interesting one Chloe Zhao will ever make. and hopefully the least interesting one Chloe Zhao will ever make. So that's an interesting take. I mean, I have seen No Bad Land, and I loved it.

She's got a very interesting mind. Wait till you see The Rider. Go seek out The Rider. Oh, my God. Movie's amazing. It's called The Rider. Just go see it. You'll love it.

Yeah. We need to take another break okay and we're back um let's hop into some trivia so lauren ridloff's husband gave the main cast lessons in american sign language cool i want to add something to that he also consulted on um hawkeye for echo oh i love that i assume we'll do the echo series as well yeah and he was there she was there that day so we she would i would talk the Echo series as well. Yeah. And he was there. She was there that day. So I would talk with her. No, no.

I don't know if he was there, but she had an interpreter. But we could talk. We were talking about, you know, life on the road and movie stuff. She's a really smart, interesting person. Cool. Chloe Zhao mostly skipped using green screen sets for the movie, opting for natural locations and outdoor lighting. Yep. According to IMDB.com,

the beach battle scene proved to be challenging for this reason and the incoming tide interrupted filming and the crew even lost equipment that sometimes floated back out to them days later. Well, at least the ocean gave it back. The ocean returned it. Oh, mother ocean. The circular designs on the Eternals' outfits

were inspired by Astrolab's ancient stargazing devices. It reminded me of Doctor Strangey things, so I liked it. Oh, yeah, yeah. The little, mm-hmm. This is the first MCU film since 2008's The Incredible Hulk to receive a PG-13 rating for sexual content and violence. Oh, interesting.

Well, there's a long list of countries where Eternals has yet to be released. Oh, interesting. China because of Khloe's political statements about growing up in mainland China. Saudi Arabia, Bahrain, and Oman due to the scenes of

Faustus and his husband, which Disney refused to cut. And Kuwait and Qatar. Good for Disney. Yeah, I think so. Yeah. Because of the depiction of gods or prophets on film. Interesting.

Wow. Wow. So you can't actually show the, so hang on. Does that mean that Thor, Love and Thunder can't be released over there because Zeus is in it? I know that they're refusing to release it in a couple places also for gay relationships

but I don't know about the God stuff. Interesting. Wow. Hmm. All right. One little trivia bit that you can tell us about

is that according to cbr.com Patton Oswalt has confirmed that he's ready for his Eternal spinoff with Harry Styles. And there's a whole article. I was saying that that was a prayer. I would absolutely do a spinoff with

Harry Styles, but I don't think the adventures of Pip and Star Fox, that's going to be, we'll be folded into the bigger Eternals narrative, I hope. I would watch it. All right, come on, man.

Why not? Yeah. Here's a segment called, Is Chris in this? Was a Chris in this film? Honestly, no. Mm-hmm. No, not a single.

Not a single Chris. Patton, is there any Chris, Christine, Kristen, or somebody that you would put in this film? It could be anybody in the world. I would either put Chris Maloney as a deviant. He'd have a blast playing a deviant. Or Christina Ricci as like a weird, somewhere halfway between Deviant and Eternal.

She's this, you know, beautiful next, the next generation of what these things could be like. She's the solution to all this fighting. She'd be amazing. I would love that. She's so cool. Me too. She looks like a special effect.

She looks so gorgeous and otherworldly she'd be amazing as yeah that's the most thought out answer i think we've had well this whole time we almost always just say christine baranski yeah oh you broadway bitches you're barki. Where's our Baranski? Our other segment is, is kissing this? You better believe there was hand-holding and kissing. Yes, there was. And a little penetration.

I liked it. I liked it, too. It was great. Just a little penetration. Just a little bit. My one quibble with the final battle, this is my one quibble, is why I thought when Kumail's character went away, I can't deal with this, I'm leaving,

I thought he would have his Han Solo showing up at the last minute to help, like his change of heart moment, coming back and fighting. Yeah. Yeah. I think I was expecting that too. Yeah. But I liked his character a lot. I didn't know anything about it. Yeah. I think I was expecting that too. Yeah.

But I liked his character a lot. I didn't know anything about it. Me too. And that was really fun. And it's like I've known Kumail as a stand-up since I was like 19 in Chicago watching him on stage. And so it's so cool to see him in this and be like, wow, he's a freaking superhero. Yeah, exactly.

Okay. Now time for our segment, Five Stark Industries, where we read positive reviews of our own podcast this one is called it's from l ray right it's called absolutely cackling i'm cackling like a psycho on the bus listening to y'all talk about the hulk dildos my bus mates are giving me looks and i don't care you guys are the best can't wait for next week oh thanks that was nice in addition to apple reviews of newcomers we're also reading reviews from letterbox if you don't know what that is i'm not explaining it so here's a letterbox review by ellie critics this film is an elegant allegory of heroism the god complex and climate and climate change. Me, cowboy, Salma Hayek, yee-haw, bitch.

That's funny to me. Okay. Wow. What is, Patton, what is your one-sentence review of this film, and what is your star rating? Well, my star rating is three and a half for Kumail not coming back at the end. Okay. And my one sentence, oh my gosh.

Oh, my one sentence is the gods must be crazy. Oh, that's good. Lauren. I'm being clever, sorry. I like it. I would give this film, I think I would give it three and a half as well. That feels solid to me. I enjoyed a lot of it.

But so my one sentence review is more London, more Dane. Give me the real relationships in 2021. I'm going to give it three stars. Three stars. My one sentence review is boy oh boy too much information and also can we make

these names a little easier well okay please go rate us on Spotify on Apple Podcasts and thank you for listening this whole season because it is our finale. So thank you everyone for being here with us as we journeyed through the Marvel Cinematic Universe.

And Patton, thank you for joining us. Is there anything you would like to plug? Yes, thank you so much. My movie, I Love My Dad, will be in theaters Friday, August 5th. Also, you can hear me on the new season of The Sandman on Netflix, also premiering August 5th. My voice will be in that.

I play Matthew the Raven. Big dad. That is delightful. I love it. Thank you. I'm excited to see your new movie. It was written by James Mastroianni, right? Am I?

No. Morissini. My God. That's our friend. That's our friend. Yeah. Oh, yes. Okay.

Yeah, I got, oh, that was just me getting confused because I was trying to remember. That wasn't me reading. But honestly, reading it,

I'd probably get it wrong as well. But I'm excited to see it. Anyway. I think you'll really, really like it. It's pretty brilliant. We'll be back next week

with a very special live episode filmed at Comic-Con in San Diego covering Thor, Love and Thunder. See you then. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Thank you. That was a Hiddem Original.