Newcomers: Scorsese, with Nicole Byer and Lauren Lapkus - Star Wars Ep. VI - Return of the Jedi (w/ Emily Yoshida)

Episode Date: February 11, 2020

Ok, Nicole and Lauren are fully ON BOARD! They loved this film and can't wait to get into it. Film critic/writer Emily Yoshida (Vulture, AVClub, The Verge, & host of the Night Call podcast) joins them to discuss their love for Ewoks, Carrie Fisher's visible coke nail, and all the surprising deaths in this film. Plus, the girls start writing ideas for their own Star Wars fan fiction.Emily Yoshida's Star Wars articles:All the CGI Characters in the Star Wars Prequels, Ranked From Tolerable to InexcusableWhy Rogue One Gets the “Dark Reboot” RightThe Star Wars Holiday SpecialSources for this episode:Star Wars: Episode VI Return of the Jedi WookieepediaRoger Ebert reviewNew York Times reviewSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. The battle between good and evil rages on. Join the further adventures of Luke Skywalker, Han Solo, Princess Leia, Lando Calrissian, Chewbacca, C-3PO and R2-D2 and Darth Vader

A journey to alien worlds It's a trap! A rebellion against oppression. An epic of heroes and villains. An adventure as vast as the universe. Return of the Jedi. Coming to a selected theater in your galaxy. Oh, wow.

Welcome to another episode of Newcomers. I'm Lauren Lapkin. I'm Nicole Byer. And we've never seen Star Wars. Sure haven't. We watched Return of the Jedi. We did. And you know what?

I liked it. I liked it too. This feels so huge because honestly, I don't know that we were expecting to like anything. I thought I was going to hate all of these movies. I was really delighted to find that I thought this one was very cute and funny and actually sad. There were a lot of points where I felt emotionally invested in. So many points where I was very, very upset. Every character we like dies. Also, I didn't know everyone dies. Me neither. I was very, very upset. Every character we like dies. Also, I didn't know

everyone dies. Me neither. I was surprised by every death. And I think what happened was nobody really I guess talks about the third movie? Right. Well, I think part of what it is, someone just mentioned to us that Darth Vader I was like, so that's it? And they're like, no, he's in the next one. It's a prequel. Yes.

So then I was like, oh, that's why in my head he's in all of the movies. But then I was like, oh, that's why in my head he's in all of the movies. But then I was like, so I didn't know he died. I didn't know he died either. And by the way, he's ugly as fuck. He's disgusting.

When they took off that helmet, I said, oh no. No, I was. You better put that right back on. Very gross. Okay. Should we introduce our guest?

Let's please do it. I just, okay. We have on today, Emily Yoshida. She's a writer and filmmaker and one of the hosts of the podcast Night Call. And she's written for so many publications, Vanity Fair, Vulture, including an article about Star Wars called All the CGI Characters in the Star Wars Prequels Ranked from Tolerable to Inexcusable.

I was like, what is this Star Wars content going to be? Because there's been so much, I feel like, over the years. So, yeah, I was very proud of that one. I love that it's tolerable. Not like the best ones to the worst. This one's fine. I don't know if this was ranked on the CGI characters list, and I don't know what version you guys were watching of this.

There's no master. So did you get age makeup Hayden Christensen when he takes off the helmet? No, no, no. Helmet, no. We saw a Hayden Christensen in a hologram. We got a blob switch. I think there's a version where, and I get these all mixed up because I am such a Luddite about this. I try to get the most original version that I possibly can get.

But where I think that they plopped in his face. Oh no. That's really bad. Insane. Why would you ever? The CGI stuff really bothers me. It takes me out.

And like in the scene where there's like a band in this one they were like rocking out and then like a cartoon comes in. Yes. It's so dumb.

It's like it looks like Shrek because it was made like prior to Shrek. That CGI animation was like done for 1997 so it looks like Shrek because it was made like prior to Shrek. That CGI animation was like done for 1997. So it looks like CGI from 1997. It's like Roger Rabbit or something happening. I don't know. My roommate made me watch

the original that he pulled up on YouTube and was like, this is better. It's little Muppets dancing around. It looks like real. I know and that was what I really loved about this movie was how all the practical effects were like my favorite part. And they were so, there were so many more

than in the other movies, like so many more characters and like puppets and things, which I loved. I thought Jabba was amazing. We were, we were bummed because we watched the new,

A New Hope with Jabba, like CGI. Yeah, CGI Jabba. CGI slug. So weird. I like him better big and nasty and a puppet. Yeah, and there's this whole kind of

arc that we don't get because we don't see him in Empire, but apparently he really kind of goes to seed in between New Hope and... Oh, yeah. Because he's like immobile in Return of the Jedi. He's like a thousand pounds. My 600 pound life, he kept eating

and needs doctor now. And then the first one he was kind of spright Truly, like, my 600-pound life, he kept eating and needs doctor now. And then the first one, he was kind of sprightly, like, walking around, kicking his tail. He can slither. Yeah. But I loved all of the weird creatures in Jabba's palace, if you will. And then,

okay, who is in charge of the wardrobe for prisoners? Because this bikini Princess Leia is in. Oh my God. It's wild. So is this like known as the horniest moment? Well, yeah, I think a lot of teenage boys like have some kind of formational moment with this.

But I was wondering like, you guys having not seen it before now, like what was your awareness of the Princess Leia slave outfit? Because it's like such a kind of icon of geek mythology, especially like heterosexual male geek stuff. I knew it was coming. I didn't realize it was while she was a prisoner.

Me neither. And I also didn't know that it wouldn't be for the whole movie. Same. I thought it was kind of like the look for this movie. Kind of like how superheroes have a look. But no, she changes. She's a real woman. She was like, this is not comfy.

I think that surprised me that she got to change clothes throughout the movie. Like, I just saw it as, I don't know, I kind of imagined these, a few outfits that she's in over time and that she would just be in them. She has a lot of different looks. Do you guys have a favorite? Because I have strong opinions about Leia's look. So far, I think her puffy vest. I was just about to say, do you like the puffy vest? Because she has a really good hairdo in that movie. She has these

loopy braids and stuff. And she got to have her hair down in this one, which I was happy about. Honestly, too much hair. Very 70s hair. But I guess they had to make it realistic that she would have had those entire braids. Yeah. Okay, so the

creatures we have are Twi'leeks? leaks uh i believe it's twi-lex twi-lex thank you they look it looks like a personified penis oh that guy fucking oh i hated him bit fortuna i felt like i knew guys who look like that yeah but just like a whisper in between each tooth yeah i always kind of forget that like they're, he's the same species as the dancers, which is very funny. Oh, really? Yeah. The girls that are like, they have like green head. That's like banded.

They're like head tails are in bands kind of. Yeah. Twi'lek, Twi'lek dancing girls. I gotta say, for prisoners, what a great time. Well, that's what I was confused about. It was like they were having fun? Yeah. Possibly?

Well, the dance? I don't think the dancers were having fun. I mean, the one gets thrown into the pit. Oh, yeah, she died. Well, I don't think they're prisoners. Oh, they're just part of the crew. Oh, okay. Like, I think that they're, maybe the girls are prisoners.

I don't know. Like, Leia certainly is because she, like, just gets captured. She's, like, literally chained up. She's on a chain. But I think that everybody else is just, like, it's like a den of, like, scum and villainy. It's just, like, everybody's hanging out with the hot gangster and enjoying the entertainment and blue drink. I guess it's, like, the Sopranos where Tony Soprano goes to, yeah, about to bring with all the girls and they're performing for him and he interacts with them. Okay.

So we can't know for sure whether the girls are enjoying themselves, but they are there. They don't look like they're enjoying themselves. One of them gets eaten by a monster. Yeah, yeah. That was a bummer. Yeah. And then we got the Gamorreans who look like little warthogs. Yeah.

Yeah. And then we got the Gamorreans who look like little warthogs. Yeah. These guys, like when they first show up, I feel like that's the first sign that like Return of the Jedis is going to be a little cute. Because they're supposed to be mean, but you're like, oh, like a little pig guy. I know. This felt very Disney. And like there is a character, I think, from Sleeping Beauty that they're kind of like guards that look like these little rhino guys.

They reminded me of that. But I thought very accessible for my brain. Okay, so then rancors. Yeah, they were scary. Massive beasts with claws and lots of gross teeth.

I didn't like them. I love the rancor. I think like this movie has a lot of like kind of funny details that didn't need to be in it at all. And one of my favorites

is the guy who loves the rancor, who trains the Rancor when he goes and he's crying over him. I love that moment. It makes me feel so weird still. There were so many weird little details in this one. It felt like they gave Henson people free reign. Yeah, they said, make us the weirdest shit you can.

Then we got a Kowakian monkey lizard. I liked the look of this little dude yeah but he was so sinister yeah but i really liked it very henson though like super yeah very fraggle rock salacious crumb yeah see i know all these guys's names because they read the novelizations of all the books and the novelizations earlier that there's novels yeah they not only give you the name they're like instead of just like oh there's this little guy who looked like a little rat monkey they're like salacious bee crumb like cackled maniacally or whatever and then they they also which is crazy they um all of the foreign languages they'll like write out phonetically

wow so like i know all the lines that are, like, the Fortuna lines and stuff because they are, like, spelled out in the, like, Bichata, Suguri and stuff. Like, I totally remember all of them. How wild. It's very weird. How old were you when you started getting into this stuff? I first watched all these movies when I was, I think, seven or eight. And my mom put me onto them. She did with, like, all sci-fi stuff.

We were a big geek household, but, and then I got really into them, like to the geek level, I think around like age 10 or 11. And then, and then the, the reissues came out in 97.

And then that's when it kind of exploded. And I was just like all in. And it was also like the internet was starting to be like a useful resource if you wanted to be a nerd about something. So it all kind of timed up perfectly around then. Oh, that's cool. And did you have friends when you were?

No, we're learning about how it is. We're learning. We're getting on board. People love this. I'm glad that you guys are into this one because this one has gotten a historically bad rap. I don't understand how. We kind of heard that on our two previous episodes that people will say that this is like the most childish one and that then makes it kind of lame.

Guess what? These are movies for kids. Right, right, right. So like this is the best one. It's funny. It's cute. It has a lot of like unique, interesting. Obviously Ewoks.

Yeah. Oh boy. Now do you love Ewoks? I love an Ewok. We love Ewoks. I didn't know what an Ewok was and I decided to not look it up. They are so fucking cute. They're so cute.

And there's such a wide range about what they can look like within their species, which I love. A lot of diversity within the Ewoks. Yeah. And their little baby ones were so cute. So cute. And they're kind of insane. Like, I don't know, when Leia first approaches the Ewok and then they have like a little like back and forth. I just love that

moment and it kind of sat with her and ate. It was adorable. His name is Wicket Warwick, I believe. Oh, they have individual names? Because I had a little plushie of him. I want one. You can get them at Disneyland. Okay. The problem is I'm going to have so much Star Wars merch so soon.

I want it all. And I minutes ago thought this was all the worst thing that ever happened. Well, this is the thing when in The Last Jedi, the most recent Star Wars movie that Rian Johnson directed and he created the Porgs. They're like these little bird penguin type guys. Oh yeah, I've Johnson directed. And he created the porgs.

They're like these little bird penguin type guys. Oh, yeah. I've seen those. And there was a lot of eye rolling around that. I was like, no, there is a proud tradition of cuties in Star Wars. You must respect it. Yeah. I love the cutie. I'll show you what they look like.

Oh, yes. I've seen those. Those are adorable. People were kind of obsessed with these when they came out. I feel like a lot of people wore this for Halloween.een yeah they're very cute i think i like the most about this movie as it almost immediately starts into action so the first movie i truly was like why are we watching the gold man and the little rolling dumpster for so long and then the second movie same thing this one they like knock, knock on the door.

They get let in and it's a whole thing. I was excited for you because we had been so bored by some of these openings and I was like, there's no preamble. We're just getting right to the point. No preamble, we got right to it. And then I like the progression of Luke. Yes.

Luke comes in, he a badass. He's like, the force is fully with me. of Luke. Yes. Luke comes in. He a badass. Yeah. He's like, the force is fully with me. So you know how Leia comes in and she pretends to be the, what's it called? The bounty hunter.

Like a bounty hunter. I thought that was Luke at first, but then I was like, ooh, look at the hips. Yeah. It's like, I think that's Leia. You're onto it.

Oh, man. That was a fun part. I love that look for her. one of many leia looks i enjoy uh i also like that she learned she she chose to speak whatever language has like the least amount of words because like whatever language she's using they give the subtitles and it's like a whole sentence and she said like three noises it's like whoever was in charge of making the languages up for star wars just just took the off day that day. They were able to make it easy for the actor.

I like to think that Carrie Fisher was like, no, I won't learn a new language. I feel like from what I know of her personality, she might have been like, can you just... I'm not going to say all that. Give me a couple things to say. I don't even know if that's her voice because they put it through a modifier.

But also, her voice is a little rough in this movie. Like noticeably rough. It is different. I noticed that. What, from just like partying? I think, yeah, yeah. Well, you know, she has like a coke nail, a visible coke nail in this movie. Does she really?

Hilarious. What a treat. Not being willing to cut it. Yes. She was like, absolutely not. What am I going to do after we wrap? Yeah. What am I going to do to get through the day?

I'd have to like wait another three weeks to grow it out again. I love that. Yeah, you can see it. I remember when that became a kind of viral thing. It was like somebody actually went around to freeze frame that moment. She has her hand on Han's shoulder. It's very easily Googleable. That's so funny.

Yeah. But she mostly didn't talk. I don't know that she's talked about doing Blow on return of the jedi she talked about it on empire which she's like much more high strung for so maybe that makes sense she's kind of chilled out actually in jedi but yeah she definitely sounds like she's had some long nights yeah yeah oh Yeah. Oh, then they have the whole thing with Han Solo thawing him out. That happened

before. Yeah. So we it was right before that. OK, so Princess Leia comes to undercover. We thought

the fight to escape Jabba's clutches, which I loved. Yeah. Yeah. That was a fun fight. And yeah, I mean,

all my notes really were every time someone died that I cared about or thought I was supposed to care about or was planning to get invested in for the next fucking 10 movies. Yeah. I was shocked. Just died. What was that?

Jabba. I couldn't believe Jabba died. I thought that was insane. Also, all he died from was strangulation. It was so weird. It was so easy. Yeah. But I was like, good, get him out of here.

I wanted more. he was only in the movie for like 15 minutes like i thought he was such an important figure yeah just like yes no but boba okay i want to talk to you guys about boba fett because i think this and watching because i had to watch like this one of the new editions where they have all the added footage and stuff in it so there are more cutaway shots to Boba Fett when they're in Jabba's palace. Like when people are having conversations, they'll like cut to Boba Fett on the side,

like talking to some of the dancing girls or whatever. And it's very weird because like, so that character blew up after, like he's in like two shots in Empire Strikes Back. And then like during the original release, he blew up after that, like, every single boy, like, including my husband. I just do not get it because I'm like, what is with him?

Like, why do you guys think he's so cool? Why is he this huge character? He does nothing. Yeah. But apparently, like, you know, they merchandised the hell out of him. And then he shows up. He didn't even have a name that was said out loud in Empire.

And then he shows up. He didn't even have a name that was said out loud in Empire. And then he shows up in Jedi. And there's a whole thing where Han accidentally kills him and is like, Boba Fett, Boba Fett. That was completely a response to this merchandising that had taken place in between Empire and Jedi. between Empire and Jedi and then in between that original release and then the re-release where they added in all this extra Boba Fett footage

just to like, like, I don't know, to fan service type stuff. I don't know. I truly don't understand the Boba Fett thing. And I always thought when I,

I've heard the name Boba Fett I think my entire life, but I thought it was more like a Jabba thing. Like, that name just sounds, so I was surprised by what he, he's just like a thin man wearing a helmet.

Yeah. Yeah. Whatever that means. Yeah. So is it weird that I was surprised Jabba died? I thought it was going to be so much more important. Yeah. Same.

To you is that like Jabba is just not a key player. No. He's like a boss on like a level of a video game. He's made to seem more important if you're watching the re-releases where you have that added scene right and i guess originally also i don't know if you guys talked about this but because they shot that scene obviously and then they added in the cgi java but java was like a human yeah originally yeah yeah um so i think that maybe they had kind of intended to make him more of a thing

but by the like if you're watching the original release and you've never seen him before that that movie then i i don't know he just seems like an obstacle to overcome right a very colorful and i think he just became such a big part of culture like as a reference point that to me i thought like he's he's gonna be in the movie. And I feel like if they made that movie now as like an original story that he would be the whole point. Yeah. And killing him would be like the end. Yes. Because there's many different hurdles for them to get through.

Yeah. It's like an obstacle course. But I guess it's more fun. They kill him right away and you're like, now what? Yeah. I don't know. That was that made it more interesting for me. I like't know. That made it more interesting for me. I liked that fight. I did not like that little shop of horrors plant that was in the ground.

Yeah. And my roommate, John Millizer, was like, oh, that was added later. It used to just be teeth. It was just like a spiky hole. It was very vaginal before. And then it got tentacles and a little mouth and it's very stupid. Yeah. It was too much like

little shop before yeah yeah and then i got worried that lando was gonna die and i was like please we just got a black man yeah we need him yeah and then he was sweating and i was like i hope his perm doesn't sweat out i was very worried about that but then he's the only one whose hair changes with the times in a different way like i feel like Leia's in a whole different universe with her hair. It's not like anything I've seen, really. And then everyone else is kind of just like whatever their hair is doing. But I did feel like he has like styles. Yeah.

Yeah. Luke's hair got worse in this one. Yeah. I do. It's a little, how many? Yeah. It goes from the full-on 70s shag to like a more like conservative 80s look. Yeah, and the first one he's like a surfer basically.

Yeah, yeah. He's just riding that moisture he's farming. I can't let that go. Moisture farming is so funny to me. So weird. Hogging all the moisture. Okay, wait. So they filmed this one in the Redwood National Park Forest and Yuma Desert in Arizona and outside of London as well.

So they didn't go back to Tunisia for Tatooine. Yeah. This is maybe the least interesting locations for shooting. Well, I like the Redwood Forest just because I like Endor and I love the speeder bike chase oh that used to like in like the early days of online video i i spent probably like three hours downloading just like a like a postage size uh clip of that scene just so i could watch it over and over again that's adorable it's very cute i loved it so much also this is a fun fact ge. George Lucas ran production as an independent filmmaker because he severed all ties to the Hollywood system, feeling persecuted after the success of The Empire Strikes

Back. Wow. Do you know about this? What do you mean by persecuted? I have no idea, but I feel like this is the beginning of the Lucas, I don't know what you would call it exactly. He just has like a complex in general. This is so interesting because this has come up a few times. And when I think of this whole franchise and him, what I've always thought was that like Star Wars fans just straight up revered him like with no hesitation. And it feels like everyone who's come on the show

has said like, oh, well, he kind of gets in his own way. Like there's like a lot of criticism for him yeah I think I think that maybe there was just like kind of uninhibited you know love and admiration of him until maybe until the re-releases came out like I think that there were some people who were like why would he mess with these movies like why not just like remaster them and make them look incredible instead of adding all this extra shit into them but I mean I didn't really feel that also as a child at the time and i was just stoked to see them on a big screen um but i think definitely with the prequels that's when a lot of people were like wait is this person this person has like this person has made enough money

and like has enough resources that they they don't have to be a part of the hollywood system they can kind of run things on their own they don't need to have extra studio eyes you know seeing like making sure that a movie isn't boring as hell um or like or even just like reads like a movie right um i think that the original star wars movies people liked them because they were kind of they felt like sort of referential to like old serials and stuff and like very familiar sort of pulpy genres and everything and then but then the prequels are kind of the genre is star wars and it's like very it feels very um like hermetically just like walled off from everything else and And those are the ones that are next. Yes. The next three. Yes. And people don't seem to like the prequels.

We've been told they are horrible. But we love this movie, so we're going to love these prequels. We better fucking love something about them. I don't know. Are you going to, you're going to watch the prequels? Yeah. Okay, interesting. Yeah, I mean, I think, I feel like I have a new bit of life inside of me after watching this one because I got really scared after the first one.

Second one, I was like, this is still possibly a very bad idea. And then the third one, I was like, honestly, I think I care about this world now. Me too. And I was like, I kind of want to know what's going on and I want to be informed. Just like cherish this feeling right now before you watch the rest of them. I'm surprised you guys, so you guys were not into Empire. Because that's my, I mean, that's like the popular favorite. We thought it was better than the first one.

Yeah. But we didn't really care. A very big improvement. But a lot of things that could have been cut. Yeah. It's a classic downer part two. That leaves you in a very uncertain place before. that leaves you in a very uncertain place before.

Well, I also think what's been kind of interesting is how the sort of pop culture phrases and like big things that we've held on to are knocked out pretty quickly. And like, so this one had a couple. So we finally got that Luke and Leia are siblings. Yes, we learned that. We learned that when he goes to see Yoda. Yeah.

Yoda is clearly not well. Yeah. And Yoda just is truly like, let me go and then luke is like but i have so more questions at one point he is cross-eyed because he is like let me die i know and it's kind of rude but then also i was like i get it let's keep him alive a little bit longer he was like i just want to lay down like you're saying that you could be answering the question like just take the time right, before the whole scene started, when you first see him,

I looked at John, I was like, why is he so old? And John was like, just watch. And then Yoda literally was like, I look old? I'm 900.

I said to Mike, like, if Yoda dies, I'm not gonna be able to handle it. And he was like, keep watching the scene. And then I was like, is Yoda gonna die? And then, like,

I started doing something on my phone. He was like, Yoda dies, so pay attention. And I was like, I started doing something on my phone. He was like, Yoda dies, so pay attention. I was like, no! I got so sad. And then he did die

and he just disappeared. He just, yeah, disappears into the force. Yeah, if you're, I guess if you're one with the force

when you die, you disappear. Just like Obi-Wan did. Yeah, and it feels nice for children to watch something that if a beloved character dies,

they just kind of like, love it when it fades. That was really devastating though and I actually feel bummed about it. And do we get to see him again? Yes. Okay, good. Yes. Allegedly, he flips and stuff in the prequel. Oh, right. We did find out. You see him in CGI more.

I think this is what's hard. Oh, is he CGI'd? I don't know. Why do they do that? In the first, in one, he is a puppet that I think they do a little bit of CG augmentation to, and he's fully CG for two and three. This bums me out because I think part of the reason why I like him so much is because he's a practical puppet who you can see his expressions. Yeah, he's a lot of personality. It's so impressive.

his expressions. Yeah, he's a lot of personality. It's so impressive. Like, that to me, like, just does so much more than CGI.

Even, you forgive so much about it. Yeah. And it feels real. Like, fine, that's what that Yoda thing looks like a puppet.

Yeah. And that's real. Like, I don't know, I can get on board with that. We have to take a break. We do. We'll be right back and we'll talk about e-locks

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They're so cute. Okay, they made two TV films and an animated TV show about Ewoks. That's what you need to watch next. Really? Yeah. Take a break and watch the Ewok Adventure. Okay, we should do that. All right, let's watch the Ewok Adventure.

I remember them being very scary when I was a kid. Oh, really? Are they animated or no? They're live action. Oh, cool. Yeah, and it's about a little girl who's like stranded from her family on on the on indoor and um i just remember like i think there's a witch in the oh we have to watch that yeah i'm down we need we need something made for us

yeah okay but they almost didn't exist at all originally the heroes were going to get help from a group of wookies and the production team decided that since Chewbacca could fly the Millennium Falcon, Wookiees were too technologically advanced for the plot. So there's a scene where a C-3PO gets his eye chewed on by Jabba's weird sidekick and pet, and while filming in the suit, actor Anthony Daniels had a panic attack. Instead of delivering his lines, he simply repeated, Get me up, get me up. I accidentally went into the next point because I was covering my bullet point, but that's insane.

Yeah. Wow. He had a panic attack? I didn't know about that. That's wild. So, wait. I mean. Isn't that what he says in the movie or no?

Did he not say that? I feel like that scene was weird. It was weird. You mean when he's. When he's getting chewed on. He does say get me up. Get me up. Yeah. I remember thinking it was weird. They left when he's... When he's getting chewed on. He does say, get me up. Get me up. Yeah.

I remember thinking it was weird. They left his panic attack in the movie. I almost think I said that to Mike, that it seemed like he really just said that and they left it in. Wait, is that... But when he's getting his eye chewed out, isn't that in the Jabba's scene?

Yes. Yeah. I jumped. Okay, okay, okay. No, no, that's really... Excuse me, I know this movie. I was like, I told you guys I have this in a drive in my brain. No, because it's not while the Ewoks are having.

Right, right, right. Yeah, but anyway, so they decided to make Ewoks because Wookiees were too smart. Which I think does make sense. Yeah, because we were debating like, okay, so Chewie can fly a plane, but he's also your dog. Also a dog. Yeah, the smartest's also your dog. Also a dog. Yeah. The smartest dog in this universe. He's really good at, like, hologram chess or whatever they're playing.

So, you know, he can play a strategic game. Or maybe it's just like, I don't know. Also, can I just say, I really loved Chewie's reaction to seeing Han Solo again. Like, it's so cute. It's very sweet. He's like, my friend is back. He's so emotional. I actually can't take it.

Yeah. It's too much. I was truly, in the other movie, when they're in the trash compactor, I was truly feeling for him because he was having a full-blown panic attack. Okay, so now he was having a panic attack and then now C-3PO literally was.

He has a real panic attack. Also, Yoda wasn't supposed to be in this movie, but it was added after George Lucas so no he was having a panic attack and then now c-3po literally was a panic attack um also yoda wasn't supposed to be in this movie but it was added after george lucas consulted with a child psychologist and decided he needed an independent character to confirm darth vader's claim that he is luke skywalker's father that's actually a good move like i think that very good film a lot yeah because it's just this thing that's said and you're like, huh, all right. Well, one person has said it. And then it's like to have it confirmed by the person who's teaching him. Yeah.

I think makes a lot of sense. And like, yes, other people knew about this. Yeah. Well, I think also that maybe marks a difference between that George Lucas and like recent George Lucas. Because I don't think recent George Lucas would be consulting a child psychologist about his story. think recent George Lucas would be consulting a child psychologist about his story. He would be thinking about like this super like complex

trade route, his political history of his universe and like not thinking about the children who are his prime audience. I don't know. Yeah, that feels very thoughtful to even to see it through a child's eyes in that way because it is an adult character who's learning this, not a child.

But yeah, it's children having to deal with that. Also, did their mother get pregnant and then immediately upon hearing the news, he's like, I gotta go to the dark side. That's what I don't get. I'm like, what is the connection between Darth and the mom? Yeah.

And where did she go? Why did she have sex with him to begin with? Yes. Is sex part of the culture? So you guys don't know anything about this? No. Please don't tell us. Okay.

Because I... We're going to get there. It's in the prequels. Okay, okay. We're going to get there. Because truly not knowing anything was so exciting in this movie. I agree.

I agree. Not having any idea how it... Every death was a shock. I mean, that was fun. That was fun. And like for years also, if you liked Star Wars, you had no idea about the mom.

Like there was no casting there. You never got that filled in. All you knew that was Leia remembered her mom was sad. That's it. Very beautiful, but sad. You know, like all movie moms. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. All movie moms are, yeah, beautiful, sad people who die. Yeah. Yep. Can we talk about the yeah, beautiful, sad people who die. Yeah. Yep. Can we talk about the Ewok, like, battle? It's fun. That was so fun. They're so smart and clever.

Very smart, clever, and they just, the way they move is, I truly was just delighted. I was really shocked by their tongues and teeth. Oh, yeah. Because I remembered seeing, I think I saw this movie when I was little, but only remembered the Ewoks. But didn't realize they were that big of a part of the movie.

And then seeing how detailed they were was alarming. Yeah. Like, they're, like, very real. They have, like, lips. Yeah, their lips. Like, they're kind of in, like, little pointy teeth.

Yeah. But my question is, why do they go to that planet? So Hans and Leia and Chewie, they go to that planet for what? Because the Empire has built a shield generator. Yes. Because they're building this new Death Star, but it doesn't have enough power yet to create its own shield. Thank you, I missed that.

Yeah. So the building that they kind of infiltrate, I'm sorry, I've watched this movie. No, please. No, not at all. It's very nice of them. I got, you know, a lot of things, but I missed a key point. Yeah. So they do this.

So they have, they do their whole plan. First of all, they do the same kind of scene in A New Hope where they're like, here's how we're going to destroy the Death Star. And like the graphics capabilities have like quadrupled in the meantime. But they go and have the meeting with the the mon calamari on the white spaceship that stern woman yeah mon mothma what's her name mon mothma um she also these names mon mothman i know there are multiple bens in the star wars universe very funny um you could name them anything. Yeah.

He loves the name Ben. Yeah. So they, but yeah, so they're basically explaining that the shield generator is on Endor, so they have to knock it out. And then like, there's a window of time that they'll have then when they can get into the

Death Star and blow it up from the inside. It's like not that complicated of a plan, but it's also like, why are we on? It's like, it's of a plan, but it's also like, why are we on? It's like, it's just an excuse to go to another planet basically, which is one of the joys of Star Wars is going to a new planet.

Is someone like Mon Mothma, who I'm looking up right now, does that actress get like to be known forever from this? Or do people kind of forget? Because I feel like when you're in something this amazing, I want the fans to care about everyone yeah i actually i would love to look that up and see what she did after that because she's such a presence and she's like yeah

when you're a child also you think she's julie andrews but she's not there are actually several people and i was i was writing down all the people's a guy, like just a whatever, like brown shirt, empire guy wearing like a funny helmet who I thought was Rick Moranis when I was a kid. Oh yeah, yes, and I also think that Harrison Ford looks like him sometimes. At some angles you're like, well perhaps Harrison Ford's facial expressions get a little over the top in this movie. Oh yeah, he gets a little goofy. He's in a cartoon. What is that that there was a couple times where i was like this acting is interesting and he'll make some like real big

face yeah like when he gets unfrozen i was like okay i get that you're blind and you can't see right now but i was like you're doing a lot yeah oh i i love doing i love like jittery like han solo like straight out of like from just been birthed by a cow. All wet. I think it's so out of his character that he was like, I don't really know how to do this. But he's still trying to be smooth, but failing. I don't know. I think it's very charming.

Yeah, it was cute. I liked that he and Leia are an established couple at this point. I was waiting for that. I feel like there was not enough reaction to the news that Luke and Leia are siblings and they have made out. Kissed already. Yeah. And have feelings for each other. Yeah.

It's not just that they kissed. It was like something. But Han was truly just like, great. Great. He's fine with it. She's fine with it. Yeah. Luke doesn't seem to. He's more just like, oh, she's my sister. That's great. He's fine with it. She's fine with it. Luke doesn't seem to.

He's more just like, oh, she's my sister. I think it was just truly something that happened in the love triangle and they're trying to make you forget about the love triangle. We're sister and brother now. Whatever happened, the past is in the past. What happens on this planet stays on that planet. I mean, that's kind of how I've always thought of it. Because also, watching it as a kid, I never really, I never was never was like oh they're underreacting to this because I was like there's

so much to worry about right now they're so busy like okay who cares if we like kissed or you were just like mad at your boyfriend so you kissed me or whatever like yeah um you know bigger stuff has gone down but there is like I did this time through try to really like watch Luke's expression when he realizes that Leia is his sister. Because at first it's like this Eureka like Leia, Leia is my sister. And then like Obi-Wan's talking to him and then like he kind of his eyes wander again and you can see. Wait, what's happened between us? Yeah, I'm imagining all that for Mark Hamill. But I have to think that it went

through his mind yeah as an actor it was discussed also darth vader's costume budget i feel like went up a little bit everyone patent leather was shine yes also i got so excited every time that i was i was like yes queen stomp it out because darth is kind of sassy. Yeah. Look at that cape flying. And then I love that the music slowed down for his death. Yes. It was like, I loved it. The reveal of his face was such a strong choice.

I didn't think it was necessary, but I could see why Luke would want to see him. Yes. But to me, it's like, remember him how you want to remember him. Like, don't look at him when he's a fucking purple dead thing.

And then I appreciated that he was kind of purpley because I was like, that could be James Earl Jones without lotion. Yeah. You know, just real ashy. It does like clear up that question that we had of like, okay, so it's James Earl Jones. But his kids are white

boy when that when that helmet comes off i truly went no thank you well i did not like it gross i didn't think i didn't think it would be like that especially because we had seen the back of his head where it looked like chewed up bubble gum yeah yeah and that didn't really line up with what his face looked like it was pretty upsetting well i don't know how much they go through what happened to him other than like you know he does say like he's more machine now than man obi-wan does but like that is sort of like also kind of literal but he did have like a very traumatic body injury we learned that he lost his hand just like luke yes he lost his hand but i think he lost more than that too i think like I think we are supposed to understand also when you watch the prequels that like

significant parts of his body and physiology are my God. God, is he like the alien in Men in Black? That's that little alien sitting in the head of that man. Oh, my God. Where it's just his face with just like mechanical a tiny face. With just like mechanical parts. He just like planted his head onto some stormtrooper's body. It's like, go. Oh my God.

That's impossible. And then I did not love that Luke burned him up. Yeah. I was like, that patent leather can't smell good. Yeah. You know? I mean, what was he going to do? Take his clothes off?

Like, I don't know. I guess. But also maybe, I guess you want to burn him to make sure he's dead. Wait, what about the part with Darth protecting his son? Oh, yes. That was this movie, right? I don't want to mix them up. You guys haven't talked about the Emperor at all because this is the first time we really see the Emperor.

Okay, we have to talk about the Emperor. Okay. Disgusting. He just looks thirsty. He's dry. He's very dry. He needs a mask. Yes.

Hydration to the face. And he is just obsessed. He was scary to me. I thought he was scary. Was his whole plan, he wanted Luke to kill Vader so then he could assume Vader's role? Because he is more powerful than Vader? Apparently. Okay.

And then Vader protects Luke. Yes. Which was very nice. assume vader's role because he is more powerful than vader apparently okay and then vader protects luke yes by picking up the emperor and then he got electrocuted and then we saw it was kind of like a skeleton thing where you saw his scalp but it was just the outline of his helmet yeah yeah and that got me i giggled real hard and then he threw him down a hole and that's how he dies and like fumes yes like out of the hole. It's real easy to kill people in this universe. It is, but it's not. It's like there are some holes where you fall down and you're fine.

Some holes where you're immediately dead. Some holes where a giant thing eats you. Like a hole could be anything. Yeah, you just got to get in the right hole. I think, am I wrong? I never watch trailers for anything now because I just hate, like i just like to watch a movie for the first time but uh i think that they like tease the emperor cackle in for the latest the new star wars movie that's coming out okay i don't know which i like i avoid this information yeah yeah but the funny thing is is that he looks so old in this one but the actor

like goes on to play him in the prequels as a younger man. Oh, right. Okay, my husband told me this. Yeah. That they basically use old face makeup on this guy in these movies, but as he ages, he continues to be in the film and just gets older. Kind of cool. I know. It's kind of awesome.

Yeah. So he looks like 200 years old in this, but then he plays like a 70-year-old or 80-year-old. In the prequels, do we learn how the emperor becomes the emperor? Yes. That's like a big part of the prequels. Okay. And a lot of it is quite boring. Oh, boy.

And some of it's sort of exciting. That's all that I will say. It's been so interesting because I feel that I'm now on the path of I'm excited to know all of this shit finally once and for all. Like, I've spent so long being like, I don't know. I don't care. And I actively would avoid learning. And now I'm kind of in. This is how everybody felt.

I'm into it. In May of 1999. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Can't wait to find out what happened before Star Wars. So there were some good reviews, of course, of this movie at the time. Roger Ebert gave it a four star review. He's already a super fan by this point. He loves it. He says the story in the Star Wars movies is, however, only part of the film and a less crucial element as time goes by.

What Jedi is really giving us is a picaresque. Is that how you say that? Journey through the imagination and an introduction to forms of life less mundane than our own. Oh, that's nice. Is that four out of four? I believe four out of four.

Usually they do thumbs up, so I don't really know. I always remember Leonard Maltin, because we had the Leonard Maltin book when I was growing up. I think he gave this one a mere three out of four stars. Yeah, there's Scott. Oh, well, the New York Times. All of the members of the old Star Wars gang are back doing what they've done before. But this time with a certain evident boredom.

I disagree. I disagree so firmly on that. I mean, there's one person who is very clearly bored in this movie, and his name is Sir Alec Guinness, but he only has one scene, so it's fine. Who's that? Is that Ben? Yeah, Obi-Wan Kenobi. Oh, Ben. Yeah, yeah, yeah. When he has to explain all the shit to Luke, it is the most bored and checked out I've ever seen anybody be in a Star Wars. So when they show the hologram at the end where I think it was Obi-Wan Kenobi and then Anakin as Hayden. Yeah. Was Obi-Wan originally there?

And then they add Hayden Christensen? They had, no, they had Obi-Wan and then the actor that played Anakin that was like the guy in the suit at the end. But him like looking normal and in Jedi robes. And then Yoda, yeah. I really hate the idea of them putting Hayden in Christians' head when they reveal the Darth Vader. Yeah.

No, thank you. That's so dumb. Yeah. I'm trying to. Now I'm wondering. I'm going to double check on this after because I'm genuinely curious. But I'm pretty sure that there was a version of it. And they might have taken that out because it was too weird looking.

Because they've done so many versions of this since then um so many reissues of the reissue um i have a i have a dvd a bootleg dvd burned of the original laser discs of star wars that's my version that i own so i'm like a purist here when you like a laser disc do you make a laser disc? Yeah, I was like a teeny tiny laser disc. Baby laser disc. No, I got it off of eBay, of course. Okay, so do you collect a bunch of stuff like this? Not really. I had some memorabilia when I was like a teen that I would just pick up,

but I was never a big merch getter. The stuff that I wanted was always the most expensive stuff like i wanted to have the lightsaber handles that you can buy for you know a thousand dollars or something like that yeah it's like in a in a like case and then it's just like a replica a prop replica and then um they also there was a catalog of um like the Lucasfilm Star Wars catalog that I used to just like pour over. And they had also a life-size replica of Han and Carbonite. Wow. You know, for your home.

How much was that? Many dollars. That would be so funny if we had that in our houses now. Well, he's also making a sex face. I'm like, now I'm a fan of scattering this on my wall. And he's like, oh. He is. I said that.

I was like, that's his cup face. He is. He totally is. It's very funny. It must have been annoying to make that because you had to have your mouth open with something inside of it, I guess. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

The lightsaber. So, Darth said you made this. So, Jedis make their own lightsabers? Apparently. The lightsabers? Apparently. The lightsabers got cooler in this one. They were like slinker and slimmer. So Luke's in this one he made for himself because he lost his last one. And that's weird to assume that

happened in between the two films. And I guess I can't remember if we ever see Anakin making his lightsaber. But I can't think that if he did then it wasn't the one that he's using

as Darth Vader because that's a red one and that's a Sith lightsaber oh so green is good and red is bad green and blue are good I didn't actually connect that they had different ones

I was just like this is a Christmas fight yeah they only accept they're all green or blue or red except

Samuel L. Jackson had a purple lightsaber. Samuel L. Jackson's in this? Oh, yeah, in the prequels. Boiler alert! Oh, okay. Okay, that's exciting. Who does he play? Have we seen his character?

No, his name is Mace Windu. Mace Windu? Yeah. Honestly, what a wild ass. Mace Windu? Uh-huh. Okay. But he seemed really excited to be there.

But it's also like the prequels, even somebody with the enthusiasm and just magnetism, is that the word, of Samuel L. Jackson, the effect of being on those prequels even saps it out of him. You can tell he was super stoked to be there and it's like a month later. It's like, oh my God. I cannot imagine what that would feel like to be that be at first of all you get to be in one of these movies which are iconic and like whatever yeah and then you're bored yeah i can't fathom that honestly right now i'm like put me in one me too i think that's our campaign now is to get into it. Oh, my God. We hated it. Now we love it. Let us be in it.

We're learning. We're informed. I had a chance to go to a Star Wars for the Last Jedi set, and I couldn't do it because they were shooting in England, and I couldn't go. But I was like, I'm going to kick myself over that for the rest of my life. Just to sit in the cockpit. That would have been so cool. Yeah, it would have been amazing. Yeah.

I guess I got to go to Disneyland now. Yeah. Or Disney World. I don't know. Good galaxy's end. We should take a trip there for an episode. Let's do it. Do it.

Let's do it. We'll get us some Yoda backpacks. I still haven't been. I like... Lauren really wants a Yoda backpack. That is really good. And then we understand why Yoda's a backpack. Because part of his training

was to carry him around. It's such a good toy idea. Truly. Honestly. All the toys are really good. Yes. I was thinking just now about the lightsabers

and how if you were making this world and then you see children fighting with them, they must feel really gratifying. Oh, yeah. I created something that was like

so exciting to kids. Yeah. Where's George Lucas now? Yeah, what is he doing? Where's he at? He's just in Marin. He just hangs out. He so exciting to kids. Yeah. Where's George Lucas now? Yeah, what is he doing? He's just sitting there. He just hangs out. He's millions and billions of dollars. He got so much money in that Disney deal.

I mean, he never has to do anything again for the rest of it. And I think like he's a little bummed about that because he doesn't get to like be a creative part. Oh, so he gives that up as well. Yeah, because he sold the franchise. He sold all the rights to Disney. Oh, that's interesting. And would they not want to include him? I don't understand.

I guess it's like someone's... Here's my take. Yeah. I wouldn't. To have someone who keeps changing movies that are locked? Yeah. That's money. Yeah.

So it's like, sure, the movie's made a ton of money, but now we have to go back into editing bay and we're going to CGI someone's face over someone's face yeah just leave it alone right and people like it how it was yes yeah yeah i think i mean i don't really know it seems very overly simplistic to say like well you know by and large like even the fans didn't like what he was doing with the franchise by the end there but um there must have been some financial reasons why they decided it was smart for him to not be involved anymore. I don't know. But yeah.

So is this your favorite one or do you have another favorite? No, of the original. What is your real favorite? Of the original trilogy? Yeah, Empire. I mean, Empire is the best. And what's your favorite

of all of them? Empire. Okay, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But this one, I mean, this one was my favorite as a kid and I have a very soft spot for it and I'm very defensive of it when people start to knock the Ewoks and all the creatures and stuff.

Yeah, people, I can't imagine being upset about the Ewoks. I was wrapped. I don't know what you want out of these movies. They were cute. They were moving around a lot. They had a lot of action. I liked them. I loved them.

They make the guy trip on the logs, and he goes, woo, woo, woo, woo, and falls over. That scared me so much as a kid. Oh my God, I know. They should have a whole tree house section of Star Wars land where it's all Ewoks style. I would go visit that. Do they have Ewoks walking around in costume?

Can we cuddle with Ewoks? Do you guys know about the Star Wars Christmas special? No. It's the worst thing ever filmed. I don't think it was filmed. I think it was like taped. It is entirely about wookies um it is about yeah it's about chewbacca's really everything that you're

saying is bad i'm like i'm on board sounds good i know i know that you like it sounds amazing and like even if it's so bad it's good like it has to be amazing like jefferson starship shows up in it um it is almost unwatchable. And the only reason I watched it was because I was like I had to write about it for a piece. So I soldiered my way through it. But it is. But if you want some Ewok or I mean some Wookiees, they're there aplenty. Okay.

I'm into it. Out of the prequels, because people really tear apart these prequels. People hate them. Which one is the most like this movie? I'm trying to figure out out of the prequels which one I'm going to like the most. I think that probably the first one, probably episode one, because... And that's The Phantom Menace? The Phantom Menace, because Anakin is a kid in it, so it's like kind of...

You guys are learning. You're learning. You're really learning. You're learning. By the end, we can debate anyone about these films. It's going to be amazing. I mean, truly, yesterday, I called the first one. I was like, hope not here. And they were like, John was like, no, it's a new hope.

Hope not here. We're still figuring it out. Oh, my God. But yeah, episode one, just because Anakin is a kid in it, and so it's kind of like a child's level, a child's eye level story for a while so it has that kind of

very innocent feeling that I think a lot of Return of the Jedi has it's sort of fun there are a lot of creatures in it because there's a big sequence around

pod racing which is a pretty good like fun did you say pottery scene? pod racing oh pod racing

it's a pottery scene that goes to the pottery. But it's Ewoks and they're rubbing each other from behind. That sounds incredible. Can someone draw that, please? Oh, my God. Yes, please draw that.

That's our plea for art. That would be amazing. Okay, we have to wrap it up. So do you have anything you would like to plug? Your podcast, Night Call? Yeah, Night Call. It's on the HowStuffWorks network. I host it with Molly Lambert and tess lynch and we have

episodes every monday i'm on twitter at emily oshita and that's kind of it right now i i used to have like a long list of things and i'm just like i'm on twitter and i do a podcast well people should deep dive all of your star wars writing if they want to have the fiction we didn't mention that yes is that online oh Oh, wait, where? Oh, we don't know. We just know that you've written fan fiction. Where did you find out I wrote fan fiction? Oh, no.

Our producer informed us of this. Oh, my God. Incredible. We are stalking you. I know your address as well. I've watched you write fan fiction in your window. Well, my fan fiction is not published under my name. Oh, okay.

So you will never find it. Oh, great. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Is it published? I mean, it was on a site for Star Wars fan fiction. Okay, so we don't. Do you want us to cut this part out? No, no, no.

I mean, it's fine for everybody to know that I wrote Star Wars fan fiction. I think that's a fun mission, right? Nobody can ever read it. Oh, okay, great. I think we want to try to write some at some point, I think. Yeah, I think. We'll see if we'll try. I want to write, I think my fanfic will be Chewbacca finding a lady Boobaca.

Chewbacca. Oh, my God. That's her name. Yep, Chewbacca meets Boobaca. I'm going to write Ewok porn. Just like cuddling. Yes. It's all really tame.

Very, very tame. Just hug each other and smile. And then babies pop out. Lauren, where can people find you? They can find me at Lauren Lapkus on Twitter and Instagram. Please follow along. I know. And where can they find you? Nicole Byer on Twitter and Instagram. Please follow along. I know, and where can they find you?

Nicole Byer on Twitter and Instagram. And everyone should be following along because we also have other podcasts that we do and things you might be interested in that if you like us talking about things, we talk about things a lot. We love talking about things. Things are the best.

Thank you so much, Emily, for being here. This is great. This is my favorite. I loved it. being here this was so fun this was great this was my favorite I loved it Lauren I was so jazzed to come talk about it yeah me too

because I liked it so much I feel happy today yes so let's see what happens next time it was a rough two days yeah yeah yeah okay

okay bye bye bye bye that was a hate gun podcast