Newcomers: Scorsese, with Nicole Byer and Lauren Lapkus - The Star Wars Holiday Special (w/ Oscar Montoya)

Episode Date: March 10, 2020

This holiday special is so terrible that once it aired, George Lucas made sure it could never broadcast again. On this episode of Newcomers, we take a quick break from finishing the prequel series to review the absolute fever dream that is the Star Wars Holiday Special from 1978. This film has it all- a sci-fi drag queen, hypnotic Wookiee porn, fascist themes, and queer canon?! Oscar Montoya (host of Spanish Aqui Presents, Inside the Disney Vault, & voice on Fox's Inside The Heart) joins us to break it all down. Plus, we listen to the song "What Can You Get a Wookiee for Christmas (When He Already Owns a Comb?)" from the Star Wars Christmas Album, "Christmas in the Stars".Watch the Star Wars Holiday Special here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6hH8rxarVG8Like this show? Rate Newcomers 5-Stars on Apple Podcasts or your favorite podcast platform. Let us know what Star Wars media you'd like us to cover on a future episode.Sources for this episode:The Star Wars Holiday Special WookieepediaIMDB - Holiday Special TriviaCNET ReviewReelviews ReviewWhat Can You Get a Wookiee for Christmas (When He Already Owns a Comb?)See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. Harrison Ford as Han Solo Carrie Fisher as Princess Leia With Anthony Daniels as C-3PO Peter Mayhew as Chewbacca R2-D2 as R2-D2 And James Earl Jones as the voice of Darth Vader. Introducing Chewbacca's family. His wife, Mala. His father, Itchy. His son, Lumpy

With special guest stars Beatrice Arthur Art Carney Diane Carroll. The Jefferson Starship. Harvey Korman. And an animated Star Wars story on the Star Wars Holiday Special. Wow.

Welcome back to another episode of Newcomers. I'm Nicole Byer. And I'm Lauren Lapkus. And we are watching the Star Wars Holiday Special. It's available on YouTube, so if you want to watch to understand what we're talking about, you can go do that. And I suggest you do it. It's got a lot of interesting stuff in there.

It's a good time. It's enjoyable. That's my review. Also crazy and weird. And we are joined with a fun person. Oscar Montoya who is the host of Spanish A Key Presents and Inside the Disney Vault, a podcast.

And today we watched the Star Wars You can't even say it with a straight face. The Star Wars Holiday Special. My God, what a wild fever dream of a thing. I was so mad I wasn't stoned. I watched this right before coming here. You guys.

You guys. I made a huge mistake. Yes, I really wish I was very high. There's so many delicious visual treats in this. This would be really good if you were recovering from a surgery and on pills and just on the couch. It would be like a perfect thing to watch. Yes. Oh my God.

Can you believe this actually exists? It is so wild that it took money and time and then like an editor had to watch all the dailies and like put it together well i don't know if that even happened the second this started i was like why are we not doing a watch along they're like we should have we should have done a watch along and then they introduced the like the fam the wookiee family and i swear that i swear they introduced the mom and go and Chewie's wife Paula. And I was like Paula! I was freaking out but it was

Mala. Paula! Is Chewie's father abusive? Yes! Like straight up abusive. Yes. Itchy? You mean itchy? Itchy. Oh wait. No, itchy's the son, right? No, lumpy. Lumpy's the son. My bad. Lumpy is the son.

Mala's the wife. I thought that was lumpy is the son. The wife should have been like titty or something. Why do they all have descriptive names except her? I know Mala. Well, Mala means bad in Spanish. Yes. Maybe that's it. Bad wife? Anti-woman kind of. Oh my god.

How coded. They were like, nobody will get this. Will you Spanish call this a bad wife? My god. Itchy is so mean to Lumpy and I truly I feel so bad. I honestly thought it was a tragedy from Lumpy's perspective.

It really was. It was about an abused childhood for real. Who then kind of escapes through watching shit. 100%. My God. How depressing. You best believe it resonated with me. I'm like, I am.

I am lumpy. I am lumpy. I thought I'm lumpy when he was getting abused. And I was, I don't even know why I thought that. Like the grandpa's like pushy. I was like, I relate.

I don't even know what I'm thinking about. It felt real. It felt very real. But this was released November 17th, 1978. And we have to thank Steve Binder. He is the director. He told those people to do that. As I was watching the beginning, I was like, this is like OG Minions.

Because I didn't know what they were saying. That's true. They just didn't care that we didn't know. They're like, you'll figure it out. But for so long I was like okay is this going to start

ever like I really was I mean it was the longest intro scene ever that's what they are famous for as we're learning

Star Wars love Star Wars thing you know what I thought of you Nicole because when the mom had the

cooking scene it was in real time. And we watched the fucking pot roast get made for 45 minutes. I was like, dear God. Oh my gosh. That made me guffaw. It was like a sketch. It was like a short form exercise.

It was like, stir and beat and stir and beat and stir and beat. That shit was made up. It has to happen. No one wrote that shit. No, no, no. No one wrote that shit for him. That was fully improvised. And that was a man in drag?

Yes. Which I liked. I liked that. Yes, they do have drag queens up in space. Very funny. Because I was like, your makeup is wild. And then the waist started falling apart. Yes, yes.

Oh my gosh, I know. And that made me laugh so hard. She's moving her head. The little curls are coming down. And then Mama Wookiee was just trying her best. She was like. gosh I know it made me laugh so hard she's moving her head little curls are coming down and then mama Wookiee was just trying her best

she was like and then at one point I think she was drinking the pot she was 100% drinking the pot I was like bitch she was cooking that shit wrong you're supposed to be

staring and pushing that's not gonna taste very good and then homegirl had another arm to come in and I was like how do you expect people to follow along with this if they only got two arms no you can't do that no exactly I was like she do you expect people to follow along with this if they only got two arms?

You can't do that. No exactly I was like she needs her fourth arm to come out and block her sneeze. Oh my god. This fucking movie. At the beginning Lumpy is abused by the way the second it starts Lumpy wants whatever the fruit is on the counter and the mom's like no.

Like a tiny banana I think. I know was like, it doesn't even seem unhealthy. Let him have that. Can I just say, one, two, three, four, five people wrote this. It makes sense. I think it shows. They each wrote a different section and didn't look at each other's. And everyone has the wildest name. Pat Proft.

Leonard Ripps. Bruce Valanche. Icon. Rod Warren. Bruce Valanche. Icon. Rod Warren. Mitzi Welsh. Mitzi. Mitzi, it's a great name. I love it.

Yes. So in the timeline of Star Wars, this is right after A New Hope, I believe. I think that's true. They made one Star Wars, and they were trying to do a spinoff to be like, oh, this could be a franchise. And George Lucas gave away, sort of like he gave permission for them to do this. So he really had no idea

what was happening. No. I gotta say. And he's uncredited, by the way. Completely uncredited because he had nothing to do with it. It was his idea to have a Wookiee movie. That's right.

Yeah, he ran with it. That's right. Yeah. Which is a bad idea. It is so funny. The staying power of this franchise, considering this is the second thing people saw. A hundred percent. Imagine. Right. Imagine watching A New Hope, which I famously think is terrible.

It is a horrific boring desert movie and and then seeing this well I guess people saw this and they were like oh no shit's wild I guess I have to stay on it

yep I mean well it was only aired once and never again if you missed it on TV then you just never saw it you never saw it

but it's so funny it was aired on November 17th random choice I feel like yeah for a holiday special weird too early George Lucas famously tried and failed to buy up all Master copies It was aired on November 17th. Random choice, I feel like. Yeah, for a holiday special? Weird, too early. George Lucas famously tried and failed to buy up all Master copies to make sure it was never broadcast again.

I mean, come on. And I love this. According to Carrie Fisher, George Lucas gave her a copy of the special as a gift for recording the DVD commentary for Star Wars Episode IV, A New Hope. She claimed that she played it at parties when she wanted her guests to leave. No. That makes me so happy. People hated being a part of this. her guests to leave. People hated being a part of this. They hated watching it.

It's an hour and 37 minutes long. It's so long. Which is another Star Wars thing. They're like, should we cut scenes? No. Let's add more. This should be like 45 minutes. It should have been half an hour.

This didn't need a Wookiee storyline at all. No, let's add more. This should be like 45 minutes. Yes. It should have been half an hour. Let's be honest. Yes, yes. This didn't need a Wookiee storyline at all. No. No, it really didn't. Give me Beatrice Arthur. Singing a song. So wild that it's Beatrice Arthur. Not the Arthur, Beatrice Arthur.

So wild. I think she was doing mod at the time. Yeah, it's probably like she was standing. Right? I didn't know she was known as Beatrice before me either it was jarring it was weird it was really strange I did a double take and I was like this can't be

it is well really quick to set up what it's about if we want to try to pretend there's a plot to this Chewie is with Han Solo and they're on his way Han Solo is taking Chewie home to celebrate Life Day which is his holiday which nobody ever home to celebrate Life Day, which is his holiday.

Which nobody ever really explains what Life Day is. People just keep saying it like you should just know what it is. Even though it's the second Star Wars thing ever. And it's fake. I would have loved it if it was just a Life Day movie where you just see the family celebrate this holiday and it's just like made up traditions 100%

the Wookiee family is waiting for Chewie to come home and then stormtroopers come and try to like fuck shit up so like basically that's the thing that's running this movie along but it's so thin very very very thin also can I just say R2D2 is introduced as

R2D2 by playing R2-D2. They introduced every actor playing C-3PO, Chewbacca, and R2-D2 is R2-D2. I was like, wait, what? Which is insane because there's famously a little person inside that suit. Give someone credit. You're going to give credit too. It's for sure erasure. That is so rude

R2-D2 is R2 R2-D2 doesn't exist what are you talking about there's a little person in R2-D2 I think I knew this yeah there's a little little person

powering R2-D2 from the inside and is it like robotic like it's like moving along with a sort of probably like automatic thing

maybe like a go-kart maybe there's pedals but maybe not by the way everyone needs to go google we're watching this with a sort of automatic thing. Maybe like a go-kart? Maybe there's pedals? But maybe not? By the way, everyone needs to go Google. We're watching this funny thing that someone tweeted us that was like Ewoks drunk on the Today Show pumping Al Roker. I remember this.

It is so funny. I remember this. Wait, this was when? What year was this? It's probably the late 2000s. Pretty cool time. Yeah, probably. I have no idea,

but it didn't seem that old. I remember this. So they have Al Roker in a Hans, I still call him Hans, Hans Solo wig, which is like, it looks insane on this black man. It looks so goofy.

Chocolate brown, long flowing white lady hair. Not the craziest he's looked, though. Have you seen his Charlie Brown look? No. Oh, yes, yes, I have. That haunted me. Yeah, that's so good.

And when fucking Matt Lauer was like Lucy or something, it was devastating. Ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew. And he had tits. And I was like, she doesn't have tits. She's a child. What is happening? I mean, I feel like he's worn, like, boobs for, like, a lot of Halloweens. Yeah. Oh, yeah. He just wants to touch himself. what is happening I feel like he's he's wearing like boobs for like a lot of Halloween yeah

oh yeah he just wants to touch himself and then the little Ewoks the one starts trying to drink a martini

and then what's her name I can't remember who the host are I can't remember who the female host were but they were like you can't

have that yeah and then one starts like moonwalking and it's so good it's great and they're like

whoa and then he walks to our roker and just starts humping him and then he just pushes up and then humps the floor like Glenn starts like moonwalking. And it's so good. It's great. And they're like, whoa. And then he walks up to our roker and just starts humping him. And then he just pushups and then humps the floor like crybaby style. It's like, it's the great. I was like, this is morning. Where did they find these people that were hammered? Weren't you so glad they didn't like cut to commercial? I was like, let this play out.

I love this. Oh, it was very funny. Anyway, it's the best thing I've ever seen. And I love like, let this play out. I love this. It was very funny. It's the best thing I've ever seen. I love Ewoks still to this day. Ewoks are great. They're so cute. You guys should watch that. There's an Ewoks movie. Is the Ewoks movie a fever dream like this one or does it make sense?

It's like a very kid... It's like for children. It's very basic and very saccharine. I remember. Me and Lauren, we gotta eat this up. For for children. So it's very basic and very saccharine. I remember. Me and Lauren, we got to eat this up for the children. Okay, wait.

What did you think of the part where they had the Cirque du Soleil dancers come out and do a little performance? And they're miniature people. I didn't understand. I was losing my mind. I did not understand it. I was like, why are these 3D people here? It's like 10 minutes long. Yes, and then they can get bigger and move from the table.

And I was like, what? And then they had uneven bars from gymnastics, but they edited out the side of it, so it was just two floating bars. And I was like, who are you tricking? I know what this is. This shot, Lumpy, because he was into it. I will never forget the face Lumpy makes

when he's watching that performance. Insane. Whenever Lumpy, because he was into it. I will never forget the face Lumpy makes when he's watching that performance. Insane. Whenever Lumpy shows his teeth, I have to break my legs. Too many teeth. He's like, it's like fucking sick. Tell me why Lumpy looks legit like the

little baby Grinch in The Grinch, So Christmas. Which also has been compared to Tim from 90 Day Fiance. Baby Grinch in The Grinch, which also has been compared to Tim from 90 Day Fiance. People made memes of that. And I was like, there was a moment. Very funny. There was a moment in that Cirque du Soleil performance

where, you know, you can tell their holograms because they're see-through. But then there's a part where Lumpy is also see-through. And I was like, this is just lazy.

Like what? They just let it glide over. They're just like, whatever. It's like an Instagram filter where it just trickles over to the next person. Oh, my God. It was truly out of control. I really went back and forth between loving Lumpy and wanting to own him. And then also wanting to push him off the side of the thing while he was walking on the outside.

I was like, why was he doing that? Is there a reason? I think it was just to ultimately show us that when they pushed the guy over, he would die. But I thought Lumpy was going to have an accident. I thought he was going to commit suicide, to be honest with you.

I was like, my life sucks. I'm going to jump off this thing. See, I thought it was like an indie film moment when Lumpy was taking a minute for himself. Where he's just like, oh my God, my life is so hard. when Lumpy was taking a minute for himself. Where he's just like, oh my God, my life is so hard. Let me just walk. See, that's the magic of not having actual subtitles or words is we could just put whatever we wanted in that.

We all interpreted it differently and they were all right. Also, I didn't like, why was Mala wearing an apron when they're completely nude all the time? So you don't get food in the fur. I can imagine that being a nightmare to shampoo out you know. Yeah you get a splash of that meat sauce

right up in there. And then imagine Chewbacca comes home to kiss his bad wife and crumbs fall out of her hair. She's trying to look her best for her man who's coming back for life day. And they seem very worried that possibly he's like died or something every time they get on the like FaceTime

with people they're like show like his photo like and then the person's like put him on the phone and she's like and they're like oh he can't come to the phone that's the thing with

like they understand Wookiee language everyone understands Wookiee language except for the viewer it feels like Leia didn't get it but like C-3PO did

or something oh yeah but Han Solo understands it Han gets it just so well yeah Chewbacca's his best fucking friend

can we take this moment to talk about Luke Skywalker's intense makeup please oh yes why was it the thickest makeup I've ever seen in my life his best fucking friend. Can we take this moment to talk about Luke Skywalker's intense makeup? Please. Oh, yes. Why was it the thickest makeup I've ever seen

in my life? It was so much makeup. Luke was beat for the God. Truly. Beat for the back of the room. It was fully

thick orange. Yes. Wow. And it was like not even and I was like, how? And then he had like eyeliner

because you know like when you put too much foundation they're like, okay you can't see your eye it was honestly a choice they put yeah oh my gosh according to some facts we have so mark hamill's face was heavily made up because he was recovering from reconstructive surgery from a near fatal car accident so you know i don't you feel like if that happened nowadays, they'd be like, you're not in the movie anymore. Yeah, they'd be like, sorry, bye-bye. We'll find someone else.

Like Mitch was saying on our thing, he had a beard and they wouldn't let him be in the movie. Which is so wild. He got cast in something and they wanted him to shave his beard and he couldn't. Anyway. I once got cast in something and they were like, can you be white? No, I'm kidding. Imagine.

I was like, what? were like can you be white? No I'm kidding imagine I was like what? No Can you be white? Okay wait then this is where it starts to get a little scary so then that fake Darth head person oh no this isn't that part

first he goes into the traders shop where he's like I just wanted to show you all the stupid stuff I make for that it was kind of disparaging it was strange

yeah and then there was a tiny aquarium that was a piece of shit to show you all the stupid stuff I make for that. It was kind of disparaging. It was strange, yeah. And then there was a tiny aquarium. That was a piece of shit. Wookiees love it, though. Wookiees love it. Oh, my God. You can take it anywhere.

It's easy to clean. And then Mala comes into the shop, and then the guy's giving her a coded message that didn't seem very, I was like, it was very obvious. I was like, what are you?

What? Let me tell you how dumb I am. No, Lauren. I literally was like, she got a, she got a rug made. And then I wrote down,

why did he have a stupid joke where it was by hand solo? She made it solo by hand. So I was going, yeah, okay, move along. Get a rug over here. Lauren, no. No! I love you. I had never entered my mind that that was anything. I was like, hey,

my hands. Okay. That was a cute joke, really over the top. It might have helped if he... I don't, I guess, I don don't know because he was already kind of stilted talking about this aquarium honestly there's no excuse for why I didn't get that

at the same time though like we didn't know who this person was yeah we were able to figure because at first I was like who is this man what who is this man why no why it felt like it was from Sesame Street. Just a little side story of like, and here's where we make the toys. It felt very improvised.

It was. Yes. And then also the set. Very bad. Oh, yeah. I was like, is this a ship? Or is this like a land store? Where are we?

I thought it was a store. And then at the end, he like improvises like, well, I didn't want to. Well, I already said that. Why did I say that? I already said that why did I say that I already said that he like talks himself into a circle I was like you can cut yeah you can really cut oh no they decided to keep it in

oh man Steve Binder was like keep going more the dark helmet guy I'm gonna say like big headed Darth Vader right stole the brush that the guy was selling dark helmet guy I'm gonna say like big headed Darth Vader right stole the brush

that the guy was selling cleaner face cleaner I felt felt like a joke but I wasn't laughing I don't know

he's like I'll take it and then he's like do you want to pay me or trade and he's like I said I'll take it and he's like well I would've liked if I well I don't want to embarrass you

by giving it to you that's why I who cares who cares we don't need to see you by giving it to you. Who cares? We don't need this scene. Also, we were supposed to think that was Darth Vader until he turns around, right? Oh, probably. I didn't understand. I was like, why is his head like that?

I don't know. Traitor Dan. His name is Traitor Dan? That's his name. You gotta be kidding me. There is an extra N in Dan so you know it's space. You got Akmina, Mermina holographic

and then Trader Dan. I don't understand Chef Gourmand. I don't get the torque. No. What? Dan? It's so weird to me.

Everyone else has a wild name except for Trader Dan. Trader Dan was a first draft and nobody corrected it. The actor's name was probably Dan. They're like, you're Trader Dan. Dan for now. We'll figure it out later. Okay, then we have the mom watching Julia Child on the space TV.

Oh my God. She coaxed for 49 minutes. Was that supposed to be a robot? I couldn't tell from the makeup. They didn't make a choice on the makeup. It was like blackface slash metallic. I was truly,

I was like, am I offended? Am I okay? It was a black robot. And truly, looking at the picture, I stand by this. It is semi-

I mean, it's a look. Blackface-y, metallic-y. Yeah. It's an aggressive look. It's very strange. And then her really doesn't. Wow. Very strange. Yeah, her hair looks. And then her hair looks sprayed to death. But I was like, them curls kept popping.

I know. They kept popping up. I was like, no, this. Mm-mm. No one fixed it. That was so annoying to me. It made me laugh. No one just cut and we're like, let's fix that wig.

I think they thought it was like silly. Yeah. It kind of felt like Pee Wee Herman-esque. Like just like how like weird it was getting. I was like, okay. I think that was a touch of Bruce. Bruce Valanche. That had to be.

That had to be. I think Bruce Valanche is so funny. Then martial law gets enacted. So they say on the TV that nobody can come anywhere. Right? Mm-hmm. And everyone's getting scared that Chewie won't make it home for life day. Mm-hmm.

I don't know if the stakes are higher than that until the Nazis come. Yes. And then it's very Anne Frankie. And I don't know if the stakes are higher than that until the Nazis come yes and then it's very Anne Frankie very much so they're searching the house high and low for any other Wookiees then they know someone's missing who's supposed to be here

which I'm confused how do they know where all the Wookiees live right that's weird And I don't know why he's in trouble. Same. Oh wait, but before... Just keeping tabs on all the Wookiees. Wait, did the Diane Carroll thing happen before or after that? No, that's coming up.

Oh yeah, because we must discuss. Somehow that happens later and that's fucking insane. First of all, I just gotta say, Itchy's mouth thing was so unsettling. It was so fucked up.

His underbite going up to his nose. And he's, I guess, old and that's what happens. But no. He's still horny. You've seen old men who are like because they got no teeth. Oh, yeah. I guess if you have dentures taken out.

But Itchy did have teeth. So many teeth. Itchy was just. Itchy was a mess. Oh, wait, oh, wait. So at this point, then that's not the Nazis yet. I mixed it up. At this point, it's just the traitor Dan coming to give him the presents.

So Marshall Augustine, they think it's the Nazis, and then it's that guy. And he gives Lumpy a present, and it's really cute how he gets the present. It is adorable. And I thought it was like a typewriter, but it's not. It's not a typewriter. It's a communicator. It's a, what did they call it? A transmitter.

Transmitter, there it is. And Lumpy's just excited to get anything besides abuse then Itchy gets this like mind melting like horny machine where he gets strapped in oh my god let's just say

it's a good feeling I'm like you're a sicko well cause they first of all they have okay so the Wookiees are like

set the fuck up right now they have like seven TVs they truly do they have this like VR chair. Uh-huh.

And they also had like things behind shelves. I mean, they have like an amazing treehouse. Okay, they got money. Yeah. These are some rich ass wolfies.

The treehouse reminded me of Swiss Family Robinson. Yes. I was like. It also reminded me of the Ewok land a little bit. Mm-hmm. Which hadn't come yet though,

interestingly. So maybe they stole that from us. Oh, so maybe they borrowed it. Okay, so Itchy is horny as shit and he gets strapped in and it starts to I actually kind of like this part this part was like

the crystals yeah it was like really like tweaky like sort of trippy very trippy space yes gave me space

I was like okay I'm in space I was like this is cool then a woman appears it's Diane Carroll and she's like you're imagining me and I'm your fantasy

a living legend a black woman to win an Emmy. Is that true? Yeah. Oh, that's cool. What was that for? I don't remember what the show was. I don't know either.

But she's like so sexy. So sexy. She's got this purple. It's moldering. Purple. It's a look. Thing on her head. I don't even know.

I want to call it like a Cher hat. Yes, that's exactly what it is. You know, like a beaded purple. But it feels like hair. Hat hair. And honestly, she's like, you're imagining me and you're making me real

and I'm your fantasy. And I was like, are you my fantasy? It feels like it's happening. Yes. I was like, blah, blah, blah. Yeah. Well, that's a weird thing

because she was like, I am, my image has been created, but like in your fantasy. Meaning for Itchy, his fantasy is. Itchy loves a black woman. Come on now. Okay.

Yeah, he wants a human first of all. Okay, damn. He said, I want some titties and I want them to be brown. Oh, she won a Tony Award for best. She was the first African-American woman to win a Tony Award for best actress for the Broadway musical No Strings. So, you know, she won a Tony, meaning she can sing. And sing she does. She does sing.

And she sings a beautiful song to Itchy who is masturbating. I'm not sure yet. Oh, no. She was the first maybe black person nominated for an Emmy Award. Is that possible? Yeah. Yeah. A hundred percent.

Wow. What country we live in, Lauren? Yeah, it's possible. You're right. For Julia. So that was, okay, yes, that was her TV show? I think so. I've never seen it.

Never even heard of it. Julia. We got to watch it. Yeah. Wow, that's cool. Because she is stunning. She's gorgeous. Ooh, she also won one for Grey's Anatomy.

Interesting. Ooh. How old is she slash was I don't know black people we just live forever she died at 84 she died a few months ago it was not it was October

2019 I can't believe I said black people live forever and Lauren's like she's dead yeah but she did have an amazing career I mean she was working up until the end which is so amazing well she was amazing in this scene that was my favorite part yes by far the song was cute

except for the part that I was imagining him pulling out his wookie dick during it because I was like what's going to happen when we pan back out I need to know if the shaft is hairy too it must be like they're fully hairy. They're hairy all over.

That would be jarring for like just like a skin of a dick to come out. Well, that's like a cat dick. Actually, I feel like I was just

hearing about this on Doughboys. I don't know why they were talking about cat dicks, but that the dick is like a possibly curvy like,

not corkscrew, but like kind of like and comes out and is not hairy the cat dick oh and so I kind of imagine a Wookiee dick would be excuse girl a cat dick is

barbed so it when they fuck a girl cat it stays in so when they rip it's painful for the girl cat because it rips oh my god the dick is ripped out of the vagina. Ew, I see it. What did you Google?

Cat dicks? Cat dick. Wait, I gotta get another one. No, this is human dicks on cats. Hold on. No, I saw one. Okay, I guess I'll Google cat penis. That seems more.

I changed it to penis. You know, they don't want to show you this. Yeah. they're like are you sure they're like oh no wow I can't

this is not this is whoa I don't like knowing about this you want to see it I think I oh

no I don't like that and then there's a picture of James Corden. That's funny. That is sick. But I do imagine that. OK, so let's say if we combine a few things, it's a corkscrew that is barbed.

It's barbed. And comes out in this pure skin with hairy balls. That's a Wookiee dick. It's my imagination. We do have to take a break. We will be right back, and we will also be listening to some Star Wars Christmas music. So get your jingle bells ready.

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Or like now the movie's a cartoon and he's watching it to make it make sense that it's a cartoon? Because then why would it be a cartoon if like, it wouldn't be a cartoon. They're not like celebrities. I figured it was a cartoon because of scheduling. They couldn't get through this shit. They were like, I'm sorry, we can't go back another day. And they're like, okay, we'll animate this. That was my theory.

I thought maybe it was also to appeal to children. Oh, because this is a family show, weirdly enough, even though we just had Diane Carroll brain fucking itchy. Brain fucking itchy. Also, this is the first appearance of Boba Fett ever. Yes, that I didn't know. It is? It is.

This is where we get Boba Fett and I guess that's why he comes. Aye, aye, aye. We just have a lot on our plates. So much. So much. I mean, so much.

Like, Boba Fett, first of all, where does he come in in this? He comes in during the cartoon. Oh, in the cartoon. And then he keeps calling them friends. Friends. And then C-3PO's like, I don't know if he's an actual friend. And then Luke's like, shut the fuck up.

That's our fucking friend, dude. And then he double crosses them because he's Darth Vader's right hand man. And then he's like ominous in a doorway. Then like Luke falls over. Yeah. And I'm like, what the fuck is happening? He's like a mercenary.

He was hired by Darth Vader to kill them by making them go to sleep. So the only way to make them live is by putting them upside down. And then there's like a talisman. There's a talisman that makes them fall asleep. That's the thing. I'm honestly so thankful that you guys retained. Like I was like this, but all I wrote down was that the cartoon was so asleep. That's the thing. I'm honestly so thankful that you guys retained like, I was like, this all I wrote down was that the cartoon was so

boring. It was so long. It was animated so strangely, wasn't it? It truly was. At first I was like, cool, a cartoon and then I was like, I can't. It's very weird. Okay, then I think we, okay, then there's a live broadcast of Tatooine debauchery that's all happening.

Like where it was like, basically, like shit's going insane on Tatooine. They're like, here's some unedited clips of what is happening there. And sorry if they're like against your morals or something. Okay, so this is also insane because this program was mandatory for all stormtroopers to watch. Yes. Like just randomly, at random times. It's like, now let's watch what's going on in Tatooine. And nothing to watch. Yes. In the, like, just randomly, at random times, it's like, now let's watch what's going on in Tatooine.

And nothing is happening. No. And then I guess that leads to the Bea Arthur situation. Yes. Where she's a bartender. I'm sorry, who? I'm sorry, Beatrice Arthur.

Yes, I didn't mean to confuse you. And there's, like, this disgusting, horny creep who tries to, like, rape her. With a hole in his head. And he drinks through the hole in his head even though he has a mouth. Which is very confusing.

It's not like that. It's like that's a choice. You know? To have a mouth and be like, you know, I'm gonna drink through the hole in my fucking head.

And you think she wants to fuck you? You have a hole in your hair. Yeah, because she says I'll be here waiting for you and all of a sudden he's in love but that's what she says

to everybody. Which he soon realizes yeah but like to be on his side like when someone's kind to me I fall in love with them

yeah it's easy it's easy you know just like a nice hello and I'm like you're gonna get married well so this sequence took an entire day

to shoot the actors in alien costumes began to pass out due to lack of oxygen and they received oxygen tanks between takes. It just looked like it smelled so bad in there. So bad.

You could tell. So this was all used from New Hope, I would think. Yes. That whole scene and all the actors and costumes. And then Bea Arthur, Beatrice, excuse me, does a full musical number. Full ass song. About having to kick everyone out. Yeah.

They tell her she has to shut down the bar. No one leaves. No one leaves. Because they're all assholes. And then she starts singing, which then does convince them to leave. Right. Which is like rude. It is.

It is. She's like performing. She's doing like a Broadway performance. Fine, we'll fucking leave. We don't want this woman to sing at us. I know. But this is like, I will say this is my favorite song in the whole special. It's cute.

It's nice. I love Beatrice can sing. She can. Beatrice can sing. I did like Diane Carroll a little bit better. Oh, yeah. I guess those were the best ones. And I like that she was just like floating in space.

Yes. Floating in space. Yes. But there was like bits of the cantina song playing in the background of Beatrice's song. And it felt very... And the cantina song is... Yes, okay. Or something like that. She was on Maud from 1972 to 78 and this came out in 78.

Gotcha. She's hot off Maud. She's hot, hot, hot. Everyone was loving mod. There did seem, okay. True or false, this felt, this gave me a little bit of a Havana Gila vibe. I do think that there's a, that has been said possibly about those. Maybe.

In terms of the instrument, it just felt very like Because they use those instruments that I don't know what they are, and I'm sure they're not real, but they remind me of instruments that are real. Like a piccolo.

Yeah, whatever that long thing is that has a big opening at the end. Oh, a clarinet. No. An oboe. A bassoon. What you talking about, Lauren?

A saxophone. I'm probably making it up. I don't retain things from this very easily. I was like, okay, this is cute. This is like the Jewish portion of the holidays. I will say. I was like, okay, I'm into it. Hard to retain a lot of this because.

Because a lot happens. It's so random. But also not any. Although I will say, I think I might watch it again on, like, mushrooms. Oh, okay. That could be fun. That could be fun. Okay, wait.

I actually just Googled Star Wars cantina instruments, and they are trumpet, three saxophones, and a clarinet. Oh, okay. I don't know if that's what they're literally playing in the movie, but yeah, I should know those things. So then, okay, everyone leaves. Everyone gets out of the bar. We never see her again. Nope. Oh, no, but the guy who's, like, flirting with her stays.

And I guess they fuck or something or, like... Yeah, some... I hope they didn't. I really hope they didn't. That's my true hope for Beatrice. She said clearly she wasn't into him. You know? Okay, then Lumpy's about to be attacked by the stormtrooper.

Oh, yes. And right when this happens, his dad and Han Solo come home you know okay then then Lumpy's about to be attacked by the stormtrooper oh yes and right when this happens his dad and Han Solo come home and they throw the bad guy off the edge of the house wait but before

sorry to like no please because I do want to talk about this insane part in the movie where Lumpy's building this transmitter oh right and that weird

like what what happened what is that that happened I don't know there was like a tutorial video And that weird, like what? What is that? That happened. I don't know. There was like a tutorial video that he's watching. So it's a guy like teaching you how to build your transmitter.

But then he starts breaking down as if he is a tape. Like he's like. His tongue is like. It is the most insane thing. It truly makes no sense. I felt crazy. I was watching it and I was like, I don't understand this part. And I just was at peace that I didn't understand it. It wasn't funny.

It wasn't entertaining. It was weird. And I think it's the same actor who played Julia Child. Space Black Julia Child. I think it was the same person. I thought that man was really creepy. And I thought like he was on the Carol Burnett show. He was?

Yeah. Wait, who was that? He's like an actor on the Carol Burnett show. Oh my God. So he should have been funnier. Yeah. That wasn't okay. He should have been funnier is the funniest review of somebody.

He should have been funnier. He should have been funnier. It felt like someone had the idea of like what if you were the person who started to break down and not the tape itself and it was like they're like alright let's do it he did this really

unsettling thing that is gonna be in my nightmares forever which is he took a screw and then screwed his chin and then he pursed his lips or something. And it was so gross to me. And I was like, no, no person needs to do this ever. Yeah, so he was on Carol Burnett.

He was the other guy with Tim Conway. I really didn't recognize him. And he also was on the Danny Kaye show back in the day. That was his big break. Should have been funnier. He should have been funnier. Should have been funnier. He's buried at the Woodlawn Memorial Cemetery in Santa Monica, if you'd like to see. All right. Should have been a funnier place. Let's take it. Yeah, should have been funnier. He should have been funnier. Should have been funnier. He's buried at the Woodlawn Memorial Cemetery in Santa Monica, if you'd like to see.

All right. Should have been a funnier place. Let's take it. Yeah, should have been funnier. Should have been a funnier place. Should have been underneath a party city. Oh, my God. Is that where you want to be buried?

Hell yeah. Buried under a party city. And it just says, here lies Nicole Byer, like right under the open sign. And everyone's like, who's Nicole Byer. We're going to do the open sign. And everyone's like, who's Nicole Byer? Shut up. And they wouldn't know who you were if you were buried there for sure. So they prepare the family. Okay.

They have to go to the festival at the Great Tree of Life, which is like, what is the tree of life? Yeah. A big ass Christmas tree I mean let's be honest why didn't we just call this Christmas I would have loved it if they had Christmas lights

around their little house and like that would have been so cute I thought that's what it was gonna be but we didn't get anything holiday themed until the end and then

I think the tree of life like makes you think back to your whole life because like Chewie like remembered the movie oh yeah well okay so they were

okay they were holding lights and then they were first of all they put on red cloaks which is very Handmaid's Tale it was haunting what is going on why and then they walked into a giant light did they transport did they go inside their little light bulbs

to go to the tree I think it should have started here the movie should have been like start with this I want to see their weird fucking thing they do and instead it was crammed in the last

three minutes of this thing and by the way here's all the religious ceremonies and then oh C-3PO and R2-D2 are there which I'm like

and then Luke and Leia and Hans and Leia talks or whatever oh Leia sings a song and Leia sings a song. Leia sings a song. Oh, yes, yes, yes.

And that's, I was pretty impressed. We needed more songs. I didn't realize this was a musical because the first number doesn't happen for like a half hour into the movie. I think it's literally like time filler stuff where they're like, and she'll sing a song for five minutes. And it's like your movie's already almost two hours long. You don't need any filler. Well, I think this brings an interesting question of like, what is the purpose

of a holiday special? Or just a television special? Well, okay. So at the beginning of the YouTube thing, like this specific recording, which I guess was the only one that ever aired.

So how did this get accessed by the way? But it starts with the Hulk will not be airing tonight. Whatever. And I was like, oh shit. Some kid was like, no. What do you mean the Hulk's not airing tonight?

I stayed home to watch the Hulk. I like this little creep. I stayed home from work. And then his mother's like, no, he's going to be coming home. He's like, ah, Steve Smash. But then this comes on and you might be really excited because it's like, oh, cool. Star Wars. We saw Star Wars.

It's the hottest thing right now. Isn't it funny, though, that there was a time period in your life where you were like, this comes on at this time and I know it. And then you turn it on and they go, so sorry. You've been led astray. Here's this other thing. Do you have memories of things? Because I remember when I was watching The Simpsons and then the OJ chase happened and I was like, what the fuck? I was like 10 or something.

That's very funny. I remember wanting to watch TGIF. Yeah. And instead got a behind the scenes special and music video premiere of Michael Jackson's Ghosts. Yep. I remember that. Which I was like, huh. I want, what? Where's Family Matters? I wanted what I wanted.

Yeah. That video is fucking insane. Everyone watch it. It's insane. Ghost? Oh, yeah. I don't think I remember that video. Ooh, it's Michael Jackson, Eddie Murphy-ing the. Everyone watch it. It's insane. Ghost? Oh, yeah. I don't think I remember that video. Oh, it's Michael Jackson, Eddie Murphy-ing the shit out of it, playing seven different parts.

All ghosts. He plays a fat white man. It is- Oh, I'm really- I really can barely look at him. It like weirdly addresses his like pedophilia in a weird way. Because the whole thing is like these kids like to hang out with Michael Jackson who lives in this like old haunted house. And all the parents come in and are like, you're hanging out with our kids too much.

What's going on? And Michael Jackson's like, we just play. And then I don't want to spoil it. You have to watch it. It's crazy. That's so weird. People always like to, like creeps like to really toe the line with their art. Like Louis C.K. was leaving us breadcrumbs in all his specials if you rewatched that.

You're like, oh, okay. And Bill Cosby was a gynecologist? He was a gynecologist on The Cosby Show. And then literally has a joke on one of his albums where he's like, you haven't drunk women. And we're all like, tee hee hee. Can you believe that? Can you imagine being one of those people who would have it to you and then be like, why is he doing a joke about things?

It would be the most dystopic, fucked up shit. It would be so fucking rude. Wait, can I just say that Ben Burtt created Mala and Itchy's vocalizations from recordings of bears and lions at Olympic Game Farm in Sequin, Washington. And for Lumpy, he used a recording of a baby bear. Because I guess they're slightly different. Oh, my God. Adult bears and baby bears. Okay.

But I'll tell you, Bert or Ben, you did too much work. I did not. You did too much work. See a distinction. Why don't you just have a guy going... Yeah. I mean honestly that probably would have been easier. This man

traveled. And I thought the actor like was making those noises. I thought so too. I guess not. Someone did tweet at me that like they have lines like Chewbacca has lines in maybe all of the movies or one of the movies.

And he like says that. How do you spell those things? And then they dubbed over it with the animal noises. Okay. I think that is correct. Interesting. Someone will correct me.

Like maybe there's some video of like the actor being like, why are you over there? Yes, I think that was tweeted at me. Okay. But I didn't get a chance to watch because guess what? I was off the clock.

Yeah. We have designated hours for Star Wars content. Want to read some of these reviews that came in at the time? Yes, please. CNET. This review is from CNET. Say the words the Star Wars holiday special around a group of geeks and you'll most likely be met with guttural groans and a lot of glares.

The 97-minute TV special debuted on November 17, 1978 and never aired again. 1917, 1978, and never aired again. Many fans, as well as director George Lucas, preferred to pretend the Wookiee and disco-saturated show never existed, but I watched it every year as a holiday tradition to amuse myself and horrify my friends. Disco? There was no disco there. Don't lie to us. Yeah, that feels like just like not...

I think maybe the Diane Carroll, maybe it was a disco look. Disco-esque? That was like soul. That was more soul than it was disco. I agree. This is from Real Views. Over the years, the Star Wars holiday special has gained a reputation as being so bad, it's good. I agree. This is from Real Views. Over the years, the Star Wars Holiday Special has gained a reputation

as being so bad, it's good. I agree. Cult classic. George Lucas, who deep in pre-production for Empire, had no creative input

in the special, recognizing almost immediately the horror he unleashed. Oh my God. Decree that not only would it never be repeated or released on any home video format,

but it would be stricken from the official there's records? Although a few bits and pieces have made their way into the canon over the years, as a result, the made-for-TV movie was unavailable for two decades, seen only by a few who recorded it during its first airing. It reappeared with the rise of YouTube.

Grainy second or third generation VHS dubs that allowed fans to relive the ugliest they had simply remembered surely it couldn't have been as bad as that but it was mm-hmm wait y'all don't know about the the the Canon all that stuff what's the Canon so like it's Canon meaning like is this official

officially part of the Star Wars lore because it's not just the movies it's like novels comics comics, all that stuff and after they after Disney bought the Star Wars franchise they restructured everything to make things canon

and then something called Legends which is not an official part of the Star Wars franchise but still valid in the lore. This is wild. So wait, what is considered legend? Legends is like those novels, video games that talk about

the Star Wars canon, the films, but people don't know about them that much, right? So those are legends. Those are like, it could have happened, but like, no, no, no. Watch these movies. Watch this one Clone Wars cartoon show.

These are canon. Oh, wow. So it's very interesting. Wow. Yeah. This is legitimately non-canon. It's not even a legend. So this is just like a goof around.

That's so funny. Oh, yeah. Wow. That's amazing. It also makes it. Did anybody read the script did anyone get a script do you know what I'm saying I think half that shit was improvised

I'm telling you that shit was improvised imagine getting the script for this and then not being contractually obligated to do it but choosing to do it but here's my question for you where do you rank it with the other films it's my number one wait what I really are really fucking loved this this was so batshit fucking

bonkers i'm not kidding i will watch it again yeah i thoroughly enjoyed it i kind of felt like yeah throw it on like the holidays like in the background like you don't just focus on it but like while you're doing other stuff and people are over and every couple seconds you're like what the fuck is this insane thing happening? Yeah. I have never loved and hated something equally as this. I think I agree. Like I like how fucking weird it was.

Like I could really get behind like the fantasy elements and like the weird songs and the sort of sketchy things. But like I ultimately just didn't like the story. I didn't love the story. How do you rank it? I think it's under Jedi. At this point, I can't think of my rating, but I think I like it like third best. It's above New Hope.

This one is, this is my number one. And then I think five, or no, maybe it's six. I think six is my favorite. So six, five. That's Return of the Jedi or Empire Strikes Back. I can't remember. I think Empire Strikes Back was my six. I think six is my favorite. So six, five. Let's Return of the Jedi or Empire Strikes Back. I can't remember. I think Empire Strikes Back was my favorite. I think it was.

And that's six, right? We should have been keeping notes. Yeah, true. I don't know. So it's holiday special. Six, five, two, three. Oh, wait, no. You like Jar Jar Binks.

Jar Jar Binks is in that first one. I fucking love Jar Jar. I'm a Jar Jar fucking stan. I'll fucking die on that hill. Oh, my God. I love Jar Jar Binks is in that first one I fucking love Jar Jar I'm a Jar Jar fucking stan I'll fucking die on that hill I love Jar Jar New Hope's not on my list It's a terrible movie To Nicole, New Hope is not canon

No, New Hope is legend You love Jar Jar Binks more than all of A New Hope Sure do I love that beak. Like, he looks insane. Just the character ranks higher.

He's wearing robes. He walks so weird. I love Jar Jar. And I think I'm the only person in America, and I think I'm gonna get read to Phil when that episode comes out.

That one's not gonna go well for us. No. What is your favorite movie of the whole franchise? I liked Six is my favorite. We have not. Yes, we have. That's Return of the Jedi.

It is so hard. I mean, I was just running through my mind with Stormtroopies. Were the Stormtroopies in the first one? I still don't really understand. Are they people? I know they're clones of Boba. Yes.

But. I didn't know that. Yes, you did. But I forgot. There's a lot. Because we're trying to fuck those aliens. All right, we let go. They were hot.

We love them. That was really weird. We both wanted to fuck them. Yes, we love them. We didn't watch it together. We were like. Yum, yum, yum. Tall and white.

Those weird slender man they were slender man they could make me do anything but do they have brains like who do they know who they're

trooping for they do have brains yeah I'm pretty sure they have brains I kind of thought they were like guys like they were in the army or something

they are in army right so they're like they're like in costume like in their because you know they're in their in their like uniform.

And like at one point, someone in one of the movies put on the uniform to like trick somebody, right? Didn't they like get in one? I think Luke does. Yeah. So it feels like you can take it off. Who do they troop for? Do they know who they're trooping for? Yeah, I think so.

And they know that they're like bad? They've just been like bred to. Oh, I guess clones do have brains because I just watched Gemini Man with Will Smith oh my god yeah okay you know what and his clone

could make choices oh my god also I'll tell you something wild okay Will Smith plays young Will Smith and old Will Smith

and one of them is a bad actor no stop which I think is a bigger feat than making a clone of a man so do you think he did that on purpose I think he was trying

to make a distinction between the two characters and really leaned in too hard in what he was doing. Young! Which kind of makes sense because young hasn't lived as much time as old girl. I was watching it on a plane and Sashir was like, Nicole,

you were clapping at one point and pointing at the screen. I was having a great time doing it. It's a terrible movie and I loved it. You like bad things, but so do I. I mean, the holidays,

but like, you know. I'm here for it. That's her favorite. That's so funny. I loved it. That is so funny. Can we listen to this Christmas song?

I can't wait to hear this. It's called What Can You Get a Wookiee for Christmas When He Already Owns a Comb. It's from 1980. There was a Star Wars Christmas album. Scott Aukerman sent us this.

Let me see. We have a scarf for Skywalker, right? Yes. And perfume for the princess? Yes. What about Han Solo? Couldn't we get him here? That leaves one big problem.

The what game? Couldn't we get him a comb? He gave him a comb last year. Why can't you get a wooden shirt, Christmas? Mars is laughing to this. What's up with his Jesus? Why can't you get him a furry kind of friend like that? Take off.

He doesn't need a tie clip. And he doesn't use shaving foam. So what can you get a wood for Christmas? For real? What can you get a comb? It's really a problem. What can you get a wood for Christmas? Someone wrote this.

Why not? I mean, he should wear galoshes because he's made of hair. Oh. I mean, he should wear galoshes because he's made of hair. Is this a sort of country song? Would you classify this as country? This is the O.G.O. Town Road, okay? This is Lil Nas X, where he came from. We are all converts. We all have started doing this.

We are dancing. I'm into it. I like it. I want on every Christmas mix right now. This little break. It's where you do the line dance. I'm going to play this at my wedding. As you walk down the aisle.

Yep, that's just a spark. And then my in-laws are going to be like, oh no. What are we getting? And I'm like, me! Wait, they said to give him love and understanding? Break it down. They did the damn thing. Wait, hold up.

What? Is he saying lemon? Yeah. Lemon. Lemon. Lemon. Lemon. This has to be part of the dance, right? I want to see if it's on Spotify.

Yeah, definitely. Oh, Cannon. Oh, my God. Cannon. It's part of the Canyon, right? Cannon. Honestly, I loved it. Melodically I loved it Melodically

Loved it It's a bop It's fantastic I was not on board In the beginning And then very quickly I was like This is for me

I was offended I was like Leia, perfume Are you fucking Ooh this is cute Really good Yeah I honestly

My review of this movie Was 10 stars Out of 5 this is cute really good yeah I honestly my review of this movie was 10 stars out of 5 10 stars I give it a 2 but I'll watch it again this is

this is a perfect thing to watch with a bunch of people that you could just fucking laugh at it's wild yes cause here's the thing it's like I like Star Wars but I'm not like bunch of people that you could just fucking laugh at. It's wild. Because here's the thing.

It's like, I like Star Wars, but I'm not like obsessed with it. I'm not one of those people. It's like, oh, it's sacrilege if you, you know what I mean? Like, but this shit is fun. You can't do it. This shit is fun. And this is like the franchise. This is an experiment that has gone terribly wrong.

This is a time where i mean like i don't know if y'all know this but when the star wars action figures came out they had to have literally tickets to give out being like you bought a ticket like they didn't release them in time for christmas so people bought cards being like oh oh, when they do come out, I have one for Christmas. Oh, my God. I'd be so upset because it was. Yeah. That's how in demand they were.

Well, that's kind of like the Baby Yoda plush dolls. They don't come out until May and they're on preorder now. Are they? OK, because I thought they came out in April. Oh, maybe it is April. Well, no, but they're on preorder. Are we going to get them? I think they're on preorder now.

We have to get them. We have to get them. Lauren and I also bought matching Baby Yoda shirts. We did. We did. We should wear those when we watch The Mandalorian. We should. Well, this has been a blast.

I honestly had a real treat. I will say this. We've had a little bit of a break in between watching movies. Yeah. And I have really enjoyed it and loved it. And I was like, ugh. When you texted me this morning, I was like, oh, fuck. I have to watch this. And I was like, ugh. When you texted me this morning, I was like, oh, fuck. I have to watch this.

And I, like, forgot. And then I was watching it, and I was like, wow. I'm so excited to go talk about this. Honestly, I felt the same way. I was, like, I was really glad we had a lot of time. Because we did a lot of the movies kind of close to each other. So it was starting to feel like it was our whole lives. And I was getting worried.

But now we had about a month off or so. And we've gotten to just kind of enjoy the idea and life. Yeah. And we're back into Star Wars land and I'm okay. I know. I'm enjoying the feedback from everyone.

It's been really fun. I will say this. I try to talk. So, okay. I had a show in Detroit and this person was wearing a tie with stormtroopers on it. So I was trying to talk to them

about stormtroopers and they were like, they were like, they were like, all of the questions you have, I don't know the answer to. Wow. We're going to know more than some people by the end of this. I mean, I was going to say like,

do y'all feel changed now? Like. I do feel like I'm a part of something I didn't understand before. I'm like, oh, I know a lot of facts about that. And now I have opinions. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. It's kind of fun. It is fun. Yeah. And honestly, okay, if there's a gentleman out there who's trying to get their girlfriend into Star Wars, start with this holiday special. Yes.

Right? Because I think it's silly enough for them to be like, wait, what? Yes. And like funny enough that like you can like explain some shit to her. I do think if you're out there and you're with someone who's not interested in watching the movie, but you want them to like it, put on our watch along with the first one. Because I think it's been a fun way for people who don't think they ever want to see it to feel like they're watching it with people who also are like, what the fuck is happening? Yeah.

And it's not just with your mansplaining boyfriend who's like, pay attention to this part. I'll also say if you are queer and you think the Star Wars franchise has nothing for you, the holiday special is for you. Yes, the holiday special. That is high camp. That is true high camp. I mean the Diane Carroll part. Diane Carroll. Be Arthur.

Come on. Can we get gayer than that? Let's go. Lumpy is queer. Lumpy is. Oh my God. Lumpy is struggling. Maybe that's why he was being abused.

Yes, the family's not expecting. Traumatized childhood, that is queer canon, babies. It really is. Yeah,atized childhood. That is queer canon, baby. It really is. It's a really great film. We loved it so much. I had never been happier to watch something. Oscar, do you have anything you want to plug?

You're on Bless the Heart. I am, yeah. On Fox, right? Yeah, I'm on Fox show Bless the Heart. It's really great. Watch it on Fox. It's on Hulu'm on Fox show Bless the Hearts. It's really great. Watch it on Fox. It's on Hulu. So you can watch it there. That's a great cast, right?

Oh my gosh, yeah. Maya Rudolph, Kristen Wiig, Fortune Feimster, Ike Barinholtz. Just like a top notch talent. Lots and lots of people. And I'm there too.

So really, really, really fun show. Also, I have two podcasts, Spanish Techie Presents and Inside the Disney Vault, which is really fun. Check those out. And you can follow me on Instagram and Twitter at Ozzymo, O-Z-Z-Y-M-O, to find out more stuff about me. Great.

Do you have any more UCB Drag Race dates or did that just end? We just wrapped this season of it on Saturday. I love that show. It's crazy. It's so much fun. It's too much fun. It's wild. It's comedians trying to do drag.

Yes. And truly have no real time to do it. I mean, we just had Eugene Cordero, who is in The Mandalorian. Amazing and wonderful. And made it all the way to the finals. Came in second place. He did look amazing. He looked stunning. And made it all the way to the finals. Came in second place. He did look amazing. I mean, it's unbelievable.

I love it so much. It's great. UCB Drag Race. You can follow that on Instagram, too, if you want to see comedians in drag. Oh, that's great. Check out UCB Drag Race. So fun. Well, please review the podcast and Apple Podcasts and, you know, give us five stars if you love it and give us a nice review.

We got some really funny reviews here. Let's read two of them. This one says, it's a five star review, which we know we like that. Funniest shit ever. This podcast is both genius and cringe worthy because it is a perfect representation of my struggle to introduce Star Wars to my wife. This one says, the best. I love Lorde and Nicole both so much. I also love Star Wars.

says the best I love Lorde and Nicole both so much I also love Star Wars watching Star Wars while listening to them watch and not understand or enjoy while I'm forced to listen without the ability to mansplain everything is some sort of some kind of bizarre nerd cuckolding fantasy that I had no idea I had

and I'm here for it so hey nerds weird flex but okay I'm into it oh my god okay well anything you want to plug? Sure. You have a book coming out. I have a book coming out. Stop it. Lauren, thank you for reminding me

because I truly just got off the phone where they're like, please plug your book and I keep forgetting. Oh, good. Yeah, so it's called Hashtag Very Fat, Very Brave. The Fat Girl's Guide to Being Brave and Not a Melancholy Weeping Down in the Dumps

Fat Girl in a Bikini. I love that. It is the longest title. It's a self-help guide for fat women. If you're not fat, you can read it too because it's real dumb. I think it's funny. I think you should sell posters of some of those photos. Well, I think I'm going to do a calendar.

Oh, God. I need to be hanging on the wall. Some unused pictures. Also, Instagram, Twitter, at Nicole Byer. I have other podcasts. a calendar oh god you need to be hanging on the wall some unused pictures also Instagram Twitter at Nicole Byer I have other podcasts too many if you ask me now

why won't you date me best friends with Shira Zameda sometimes I'm on Dragger with Manu Agapian 90 Day Bae

where we talk about 90 Day Fiance with Marcy Juro and then Nailed It on Netflix and I have a special on Netflix it's in Comedians of the World third episode it is a little raunchy people have been tweeting

lately that it's too raunchy what? whatever Lauren what do you want to promote? well I also was at a critical mass with the amount of podcasts that I had Raised by TV Freedom with special guest Lauren Lapkus,

this podcast, Wild Horses had a podcast. So many. I'm down to this one and I have a Patreon which I'm doing fun, random stuff on every week, improv or conversations.

It's patreon.com slash Lauren Lapkus. And that's been really enjoyable. And I have a movie coming out on Netflix in the spring with David Spade. Oh my God. The Wrong Missy. Yes. really enjoyable and um i may have a movie coming out on netflix in the spring with david spade oh my god the wrong missy and i'm very excited about that and i play missy and it's a sort of rom-com where he hates me love that oh that's so exciting do you know when it comes out i think i don't have

an exact date but the spring i moved around a couple times. So look for that. That's so fucking exciting. I'm excited. It was really fun to make. What a treat. It was fun. Follow us on Instagram. Lauren Lapkus, Nicole Byer. Right.

That's it. Easy peasy. Easy peasy. Thanks for listening. Thank you so much. Tell a friend about us. Please tell your friend. Please.

Just one friend. Maybe two. If you got three friends tell three don't know who this woman is she's the new face of the new Star Wars franchise that's who we are willing and excited to be cast in Star Wars

I would love to be like a fat stormtrooper who doesn't get it oh my god what are we doing you're just like falling in, what are we doing? Oh my God. You're just like falling in behind all the guys. And my helmet keeps rolling off. And I'm like,

and they're like, is Kathy here? Is Kathy here? Star Wars, but is Kathy here? All right. Well, we love you guys.

Bye. Bye. Bye. That was a HeadGum Podcast.