Next Level Pros - #106: Marriage vs Business: Finding Harmony In Both

Episode Date: June 4, 2024

Welcome to The Founder Podcast! In this episode, we dive into the challenges and wins of maintaining a healthy relationship while building a business. Chris Daryl and Levi share their personal stories and insights on balancing entrepreneurial ambitions with family life. Get ready for some heartfelt advice, relatable anecdotes, and practical tips to strengthen your business and relationships. Tune in for an honest conversation about love, commitment, and growth. Highlight: "The only way you're going to make any type of relationship work is you have to share values."  "Taking care of my wife is taking care of myself. There's a real significance in being married and what you offer each other."  "If you can just give without expectation of receiving, that's when you begin to receive."  Timestamps: 00:00 - Introduction 01:14 - The Burden of Entrepreneurship 03:37 - Setting Rules and Expectations 08:59 - Managing Stress and Relationships 14:50 - Constant Check-ins 25:42 - Unconditional Giving 33:56 - Complementary Strengths 42:54 - Role of Spouses in Success 46:39 - Balancing Easier Life vs. Better Life 48:07 - Recommended Resources Looking to scale your business? Want to learn directly from the same team that helped me sell my last business for 9 figures? Click this link below to check out how you can work with us. https://nextlevelhomepros.com/grow-home-service-vsl Join my community - Founder Acceleration ⁠https://www.founderacceleration.com ⁠ Apply for our next Mastermind:h⁠ttps://www.thefoundermastermind.com⁠  Golf with Chris h⁠ttps://www.golfwithchris.com⁠  Watch my latest Podcast Apple- ⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-founder-podcast/id1687030281S⁠ Spotify- ⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/1e0cL2vI1JAtQrojSOA7D2⁠ YouTube - @thefounderspodcast

Do you ever feel like marriage is not the right thing for entrepreneurs that you don't have a supportive spouse partner? In this episode, we're going to be diving into all this and more super excited talk with the boys. Welcome to the show. What up? What up? Feels good. Let's go. Let's go. So all three of us are married. Yes. So Levi, how long have you been married? Almost two years now. Nice. So, a lot less than you guys. Long time. You guys are really old. Dude, I'm approaching 19 years this fall. Wow. And I think Daryl's approaching 18? 18, yep.

Crazy. Crazy. I remember when Daryl got married. I can remember. I didn't know you were married. Yeah. Yeah, you guys remember my wedding, right? Oh, yeah. Jeez, that was messed up. Messed up. Yeah, that's odd. So we're going to we're going to dive into kind of some of the pain points.

You know, as an entrepreneur, we're super focused on building our businesses. Right. Like you've got a lot on your plate. You got employees depending on you. You got your spouse or your partner, depending on some sort of paycheck that's coming from it. A lot of times when you first start off a business, it's money out, time out, time, you know, which causes a lot of strain. Yeah. You know, something interesting.

So yesterday we're talking about, this is going to be a little tangent, but I was riding my bike, dirt bike this morning. And I started thinking about how yesterday we're talking about how entrepreneur entrepreneurs never give themselves permission to like go big right or they struggle with it some do lots don't and a lot of times we're looking for permission from other people to break those those levels or those those walls down but I feel like a common thread is entrepreneurs give themselves permission to be stressed out and to put so much burden on themselves and give them, you know, I've got all these employees that count on me. I've got this. I've got that. Right.

It's really easy as an entrepreneur to put so much pressure on yourself. And what does that impact most? Your relationships. Yeah. And what does that impact most? Your relationships. So I think that kind of ties into this is how one of the key factors of being really solid mentally is like, don't stress the big things because it starts to impact everything. But like Chris is saying, you know, employees, bills, payroll. I mean, I can remember when I thought, you know, $100,000 every two weeks was a big payroll. And then we got up to, it was like 2 million.

And it just kept climbing. And it was fascinating to think how many people depend on the business. But the reality is, is like, it's, if you have good culture, if you have a good structure, like everyone's in it together and you can solve a lot of problems and do a lot with, with the right people. Yeah. Let's take it back to the relationships. Cause I think, I think that's probably one of the things that everybody has some level of

relationship, whether you're married, you're dating, you're single and want to be married or dating, right? Like everybody desires companionship. So how do you balance that with running a business, building an empire, right? Like this is a question I get all the time, right? Because, and I'm sure if Daryl was more out there on social media, he'd get the same type of question, right? Both been married for a long time. I have several kids. I have five. Daryl was more out there on social media, he'd get the same type of question, right? Both been married for a long time.

I have several kids. I have five. Daryl has four. Levi still trying to figure it out. One day, yes. Yeah? Yes. So they're made by doing laundry together.

I don't know. Yeah. So I guess, so let me ask you, Chris, have you ever created rules with your wife that you feel helped create space for you in business, but yet maybe the right kind of environment at home? Whatever rules that you guys created to support you. Well, here's the reality.

It's like over 19 years, we've had lots of ups and downs. So to generally say yes, that I've had these rules, like, no, like we've, we've struggled through where there's been good expectations, where we've had these rules or other times where I'm just running rampant. And luckily I have a really supportive wife that's chosen to hang on. And probably certain times that I didn't deserve her to hang on or stick with me throughout the thing. And so, like, I mean, I think back to, like, my first business. I was a piece of crap, you know? Like, I was so focused on my business, my friends, looking good, very egotistical. We were just having our second child, Caden, and my wife was home alone, like dealing with it. And we never had

good come to Jesus moments during that time. It was just like, she was dealing with the stress and postpartum depression and everything else. And, and I was out having a good time, having, having fun. I like, I'd be going to Vegas with some of the boys on the weekend or whatever else. And I look back and it's like, man, that was a piece of crap, you know? And so, um, I think the key as we've gotten better is what you're saying, right? Like having, having these rules of engagement and, um, what we can expect from each other. The most important thing that's ever worked for us is communication. When we're communicating, things are good.

When we're not, we're not. And I think just like anything, it's setting proper expectations. Like what season? I've seen people do it better than me, and usually it's, it's when they set good expectations around a season, like, Hey, I'm in this season of work, right? This is startup season. This is what you can expect from it. You can expect that I'm going to be gone six days a week, eight to eight.

Oh, you know, and outside of that, I'm, I'm there to help, but inside of that, you know, outside of that i'm i'm there to help but inside of that you know i think um i'm glad that we're talking about this because i feel like in entrepreneurship and building a business and everything the relationship piece is something that i think is almost taboo to talk about right you know like we're always talking about how to build a successful business how to scale out of this and the other but a huge piece that on i think a lot of motivation for a lot of entrepreneurs is they want to build a life for their future for their current family generations to come later yeah and so a lot of the times i think at the very beginning it's you're thinking of unselfish things probably but it's really easy to say that and get caught up of like you start fighting with your spouse because like you guys said you're you're you're putting a strain on money on time and everything

like that how do you guys attack that where from maybe your partner's perspective of you're being selfish you get to go to vegas on the weekends you're working your dream job you're living your dream life and i'm here trying to support and put all the pieces together how do you guys deal with that i mean you guys have had to i'm sure deal with that multiple times so i'll tell you how not to deal with it yeah so like when the negative times in my career has just been like you know my wife would be like hey yeah you get to go and do this this and this and the way i would throw back on her is just like well you want me to go get a normal job right like do you want me to go and

be a garbage man or a school teacher something hate my life you know and although true right like oh although that is the reality right like is that what she really wants like that's not the right way to approach it it's it's saying look i know it's going back to expectations i know what i do is going to be viewed as not work these are the things that i need to invest in relationships this is why it's worth it in the long run we're going to suffer a little bit right here you may look at what i'm doing and you know it i think me and daryl have had points in our careers where because we've talked about this a lot, where we don't necessarily tell our spouses when we have a lot of fun. Where it's like, okay, it's probably better if I just don't let her know

that I went to Topgolf while I was down in Vegas. I don't know if that's the right way to do it, but there's been certain times where just like managing the emotions of a spouse has been like, I don't necessarily share absolutely everything. I mean, if she asked me, of course, but I don't know. What's the right thing? What's worked for you, Darrell? So one of the things when we first started talking, I thought about was setting a good expectation in certain events. So I remember knocking doors.

I remember one of the rules that we had was don't call me during the day. And that was established right from the very beginning because I'd rather be talking to my wife or home than knocking doors right and so you know i i think i think what was great about that was i identified how our relationship actually hurt me right it would distract me from what i needed to do or my responsibilities i set up that rule she understood i understood it and there's never an issue and if she called me i'd answer it absolutely every time because i knew she was calling me for a reason so that that was just like a simple rule. But a few years later, I heard this story about a doctor who, you know, he's a surgeon, he's stressed out at work and he comes home and he would figuratively take off his jacket and hang it out outside his

house. And I love that story because a lot of times we have a hard day. We can go home with all that stress and just release it on our family, on our kids and our spouse. And so one of the most powerful things I feel like I've been able to do is realize I can come home as a completely new person. No matter what I experience, I can come home with full of energy and excitement, regardless of how crappy my day was. Or if my day was really great, take that excitement and energy and bring it home and share it with everyone at home. And so that's taken practice and I'm not perfect at it, but it's probably one of the most powerful things because I feel like my, I want my wife when I come home to be excited, I'm home. I want my kids when I come home to be excited, I'm home. And I could have easily made it, you know, painful for them so that they felt, you know,

oh, dad's got a lot of stuff going on or whatever. I hate when my kids say that. I don't want my kids to say that because I want who I show up at the home to be different than who I am at work. I want those, if there's negative things, I want them to be separate. Have you guys ever gotten a reality check, you know, from your spouse or your partner where like, you know, like where maybe you thought you were doing what was right, or, you know, you think that you're being unselfish, but really maybe you're ego driven or something in that ballpark where your, your partner, your spouse gave you a reality check and you're like, holy, holy cow. Like, yeah, I need to pivot. Yeah. No, there's a lot of different times. I've had several different

pivots in my career. I would say there are a few different things that have really helped me. One, I read a book called Leadership and Self-Deception by the Arbinger Group. That really helped me value my spouse even more and put more focus on her. But, you know, it's interesting. I love my wife, Andrea, so much, and I value her opinion so much so that when she says things, it really cuts me deep. In fact i can go back to the one and only time that i've ever had a panic attack in my life and for those that haven't experienced a panic attack it's wild have you either you guys ever had a panic attack it feels like the world is crashing down literally the worst feeling in the world like you feel like

it happened this one night me and my wife were having an argument in bed and it was like more just like her giving me a reality check of like this is what you suck at and all these other things and which hurt cut real deep and like the feeling when you go through a panic attack is like that like the world is literally caving in. You feel, I felt like I was falling through my bed, like into eternity of death. Like it was the,

it was the weirdest thing. So it sounds like you've experienced one. It's dark. It's, it is dark. You can't see. It's just like, it's everything wrong.

And so I remember doing like this breathing exercise to try to get through that. But like, um, but yeah, like there's, there's times like that always. And anybody that's pretending that they have it all figured out is full of crap. And like, you know, even Daryl talking about like, hey, you know,

you put off your coat and whatnot. Like in theory, it's great. And when I do those things and I've, there's been times when I've been really good at that, right? Like put my phone away, lock it up in the K-safe or whatever else. I like those are great. But the hard thing about hard things or building an empire of business is like it's not just black and white. Like there are a lot of times where I go home and i am distracted and i am going and getting on my

computer or my phone or or thinking about how to improve my business or whatnot and so it's like creating boundaries is a great rule and saying compartmentalizing of like okay this is my life and this is my workout and this is my time with my family and everything else. But like, frankly, like the thing that's worked best for me is constant check-ins because if I don't constantly check in with my wife from a standpoint of like, okay, how are we doing? How was the last week, the last month, the last quarter, the last year been going? I always, as somebody who's obsessed with building businesses,

will creep back to that, to the distraction, to the different things like that. And so, like, although I am not perfect in my relationship, the check-ins help check me back. And that's what has worked best for my relationship. One of the things I've noticed is when my relationship is strong with my wife, how I show up at work is so much more productive. I'm so much more focused, creative.

I think there's a real significance of being married and what like the energy and what you offer each other. You know, that that's not really tangible or easy to see. And so I feel like taking care of my wife is taking care of myself. I think there's just this this reflection reflection of what you're becoming. And I think for a short period of time, you can have success and destroy your relationships. But I think it impacts you eventually. Eventually, you're sitting there thinking like, I don't enjoy the business. I don't enjoy these things.

And that's because you've destroyed what's actually probably more valuable in life, which is the relationships that are closest to you. Are you a home service business owner struggling to get your time back? Maybe you're feeling like you have to do everything yourself, or maybe you aren't able to break through that certain revenue plateau. You feel like owning your business isn't quite what you thought it would be. Am I right? I understand you more than you know. I've launched many businesses throughout my life and I was lucky enough to have built multiple businesses that scaled to two nine-figure exits. But more importantly, I have had even more businesses fail. Why would that be more important? I learned a ton from each venture that I was a part of, each teaching me lessons about how to hire the right people, how to price my product, how to build out proper SOPs,

and even building the right culture. These lessons are what led me to being able to sell my most recent business for nearly $200 million. Why am I sharing all this with you? Because I've been in your shoes, feeling the same exact feelings that you are. And if I knew back then what I know now, life might have been a lot easier for me. Unfortunately, I can't travel back in time, but I can help you so that you don't have to. How? I package everything that I learned into over 150 videos all about my wins and mistakes that I've made in business over the years. And I want to give you access to these videos.

But it's so much more than just a bunch of videos. I've created a community of home professionals just like you where people interact and share ideas with each other. Plus, we host live calls every single week where you get direct access to people like myself and my business partners that were a part of these different ventures who are experts in marketing, operations, software, and even more. All you have to do is book a free call with one of our team members to see if this would be a good fit for you. That way I can help you take your business to the next level, making you a next level home pro. And you know, the reality is, is like the only way you're going to make any type of relationship work is you have to share values.

You don't have to share common interests. You don't have to like enjoy being and doing the same things all the time or whatnot. But like the only reason mine and my wife's relationship has thrived is because we value the same things. We both value God. We both value family. We both value like principles around our family and raising good kids and those type of things. But like, man, if we did not share those things, there's a lot of crap that we bash heads on. And there are only a handful of activities that we like even love doing together. You know, like we love doing golf. We love golfing which is awesome that's been like one of the my favorite things that i've found out in the last

few years is that we we enjoy doing that um we're both committed to our relationship uh from a standpoint of like even when we are really we really don't like each other because one of the things that i always say with my wife is like you know we'll always love each other right now the question is do i like or do i dislike her in the moment right and so like one of the the best compliments that we give to each other is like hey i like you i i really like you right now and uh and so because like i said we are committed we love each other we want to be there but like the best practices that have helped keep those things together is like we go on a date every Friday night. Like we try to sacrifice everything else possible. I tell my kids like this is mom's night.

This is everything else. Like even when we don't like each other. Right. Even when we're bashing heads or like, you know, we're holding back on sex or whatever else, right? Like that leads to these argumentative, like we go and we commit to those times together and we make it work.

And I think like those are some of the most important things is that you're just committed to each other and you share common values. are those are some of the most important things is that you're just committed to each other and you share common values i think something i'm still learning but something i have learned with my relationship with my wife is well from reality checks that i've gotten i'm i'm kind of like you chris where my wife's when she says something to me it's the only person in the entire world that'll actually emotionally affect me because i care so much about what she thinks of me yep and me i would consider myself like a romantic i like to go above and beyond i like to be creative and do the the crazy

dates and think of cool presents and whatever and a lot of the times i've learned that love is not shown by the birthdays or the christmases or what you do on an anniversary or these big illustrious things but it's the how you wake up to each other every morning how you greet each other when you get home how you react when you guys share feelings like these little things every day or is actually what the love is not the fancy flowers that you buy on anniversaries and stuff like that do you guys feel like through you guys's relationships in your years that you've been caught up in well i did this for you i did this for you why can't you just see this from me at all when reality the relationship just needs some nurturing some of the little things yeah that usually never works

so yeah i'll get caught up in that for about five minutes before i realize i'm a retard and don't know what i'm saying or doing but um yeah it's uh you know i was thinking about like um you know when we started soul gen i was living like, um, you know, when we started SoulGen, I was living in Utah and then I was traveling up here, living up here. My wife had just had a baby, which is really odd because I feel like almost every baby we've had, I've been starting a new business in a new location. It's the craziest thing. Um, and, uh, you know, my wife was, was having a lot of, uh, struggle at the time, um, taking care of our fourth child, um, being home alone, you know, just had the baby. So there, there is a challenging time for her. And I can remember,

you know, thinking like, man, okay, how do I surprise her? And at the time, like me doing the dishes was like, not a thing. And I thought, you know what, I gotta, I, okay, how do I surprise her? And at the time, like me doing the dishes was like not a thing. And I thought, you know what, I gotta, I gotta figure out how to surprise her without her knowing. So, you know, it'd be like going and doing the dishes and having them done so that she didn't see me doing the dishes. They're just done type of thing or clean a room or whatever. And it was really fascinating for me because something that I hated doing, I found enjoyment doing it because I changed my reasons or my whys behind it. And I think that's an important aspect of a relationship is why are you doing those things? Are you doing those things because you have to?

Are you doing those things because you want your spouse to be surprised? Do you want them to feel some type of gratification or acknowledgement for who they are and what they mean to you. So it's really interesting. The why behind what you do, you can, you can give a gift and it can mean nothing and you can give the same gift and it can mean a lot. And it all comes down to, you know, why did you do it? Yeah. So the, the second anything becomes transactional, we'll kill it. Right. And so like to Daryl's point, right, like what the why is, like if you're given a gift so that she gives you some sort of response, whether that she's happy, which fulfills your ego or your need.

Like whenever it's centered on you, it's the wrong reason, right? Like, if you vacuum or do the dishes or clean the house so you can get sex, dude, that is the worst reason, right? Or even so that you can make her feel good to feel good about yourself. Also the wrong reason, right? Like whenever it is self-ego, self-fulfilling, it is always, always, always. And they can feel it. They know it and they understand it.

And that's one thing I've really started to understand about relationships lately is like, I've got to do it for her benefit and her benefit only. Like if I see that she needs something and I do it because I want her to be happy, that's a win. Right. Like even if it means I don't get sex, it doesn't make me happy, it doesn't benefit me in any type of way, but it only benefits her, that is an act of true love, right? It's like I think Christ is probably like the best example of just like selfless acts of service that did not benefit him in any way, shape, or form.

Like that's the kind of love that we have to show our spouse. And, and the, the cool thing is, is like, if you can just give without expectation of receiving ever, that's when you begin to receive, right? Like it, it reciprocates and you always bring, you know, one of the pieces of advice that I was given is like a lot of times we we look at a relationship is like, OK, we've got to make it equal 100. I bring 50. You bring 50. I bring 60. You bring 40. Whatever. Whatever else. now yes it should if the goal is a hundred but you've got to be always willing to bring a hundred right like without without expectation of receiving anything in return right and so like if you can always bring that full effort you know anything that you get in return is just like an an added bonus you know one of the one of the things I heard, you know,

because me and my wife will do different, like, relationship courses. We've done seminars. We've done, like, the Tony Robbins stuff, which has been awesome. We've done a meditation conference with Joe Dispenza. There's, like, this online course that… GFF. GFF. And so, you know, one of the things I heard early on in our marriage was, was like working on your relationship is not because you have problems, but it's because of what you're

trying to grow or create. And it's the same as if like health, right? If you wait till you're sick before you start taking measures to become healthy. Or until you're 400 pounds before you get. Yeah. You have so many problems. It's so hard. And so I also think like one of the advices I'd give is like always be working on your

relationship. Like it's, it's, it's something that, that matters the most. You know, doing courses on, you know, if you don't see eye to eye on finance, do a course that you guys can do together on finance. If you don't see eye to eye on raising kids, or if you do like improve on how you raise your kids. Yes. You know, one of the things we studied was how do we start talking to our kids about like sex and all that stuff at what age and how do you talk to them? And my wife had most of the conversation, but, you know, she learned she learned how to talk to him in a way that was like very, very cool.

It's like easy to talk to our kids. And now we have a very open dialogue about all the stuff going on because they hear it and see it. Right. It's just whether they talk to you about it or they don't. And there's a lot goes goes on in a marriage. You know, finance. You have kids. You have to help your kids grow up in this world, which is challenging. You've got your social circles of usually an element of spirituality or religion.

You have your health. You know, our health, I think, reflects a lot through our spouses how you got to balance masculine and feminine energies like from you know both are bringing a yin and yang to it you know that that's that's one thing i've been studying a lot lately is masculine and feminine energies like it's impossible to not have both in the relationship and both, both the man and the woman will bring different levels of masculine and feminine energies to, to the table,

which is. Chris, let me tell you something I've never told you. What? Tell me. So this lady was talking about, it's called shadow work. So what shadow work is,

is it's like parts of you that you don't like, or like, not that you don't like, but well, yeah, essentially you don't like them. So an example would be if there's someone that irritates you, right. Or triggers you, right. It's usually a reflection of something inside yourself that you're not okay with. Does that make sense? And when you can start to understand it, you can change that relationship you have with yourself and improve it. So as I was going through this,

it was super fascinating, right? The two people that I feel like can like emotionally set me off the most are Chris and my wife. Let's go, baby. Here was the fascinating thing. The things that drive me nuts about Chris, I do to my wife. Let's go baby. Here was the fascinating thing. The things that drive me nuts about Chris, I do to my wife and the things that drive me nuts about my wife, I do to Chris. And so like, I could see how like it was a reflection of myself and how I did those things.

That's why it bothers me. I'll give you an example. If that's, if this doesn't make sense, if you're super self-conscious about how much you weigh, okay, when you're in a room, you're going to notice or think about the weight of other people. Or maybe you're self-conscious about your hairstyle or that you're losing your hair, something like that. You're going to pay attention to people's hair, right? And so what's really cool is you can do a lot of self-work on yourself by identifying what is it that triggers me about my spouse or about my partner, about my kids.

And it's usually something inside you. If you're very confident in your health, you, you do not care about how people, um, you're never looking at someone like, Oh, that person's fat or, or they're this or they're that, like, you just don't, it just doesn't come to your mind, right? But if it's something that bugs you about yourself or you're self-conscious, right? Maybe it's, I'm working out every day. So I'm very conscious of like how I feel, how much muscle mass I have.

I'm going to pay attention to people's definition of muscle and how big they are and all this other stuff. It's similar to like, if you hate on somebody for being rich is because you feel like you're poor. Correct, exactly. So anyways, what was fascinating was just how like, It's similar to like if you hate on somebody for being rich, it's because you feel like you're poor. Correct. Exactly. So anyways, what was fascinating was just how reflective. As I'm doing this work, she didn't point it out.

I just saw it. I'm like, my gosh. It was just weird, the relationship between Chris and my wife and how you both receive and give kind of the flow of some of these things. It was fascinating. I'm glad that you're talking about comparison because it brought me to maybe something that might be controversial.

I don't know. I'm curious in your thoughts on it. So as an entrepreneur, I think a lot of us have like squirrel syndrome, right? We're like, we're always chasing the new nut, whether it's in business and life, you know, whatever it might be. I think a lot of times,

especially if you're building a business, you're focusing think a lot of times, especially if you're building a business, you're focusing on a lot of the problems that are going on in your business. And I'm sure that seeps into relationships as well. Like you're probably seeing all of the problems and highlighting that. I think a lot of the times is you start to compare like you're kind of talking about where maybe you think your relationship is 80 good you start looking at other relationships maybe even other people and seeing oh they have the 20 that i'm missing and you start chasing that or spending more time there whatever it might be when in reality you know in an extreme example if you left your your partner to go find that 20 you realize oh

well they had the 20 but they're missing the other 80 absolutely what are you guys's thoughts on that how to deal with that or i think i think one of the uh most impactful things to mine and my wife's relationship is understanding the dynamics of personality right and so do, we've done a lot of work around the disc assessment. We've done a lot of work around the Enneagram, human design, all these different things just to better understand each other and the way that we complement each other, right? And so, like, example, we've talked about on previous episodes, the disc assessment, right? I a high D, high I.

She is a high C, low S. So she's a high C, high S, low I. And so we are exact opposite. We complement each other, right? And as I've shared before, there's no such thing as perfect people. There's only perfect couples, perfect teams, perfect organizations. And so understanding that our strengths and weaknesses balance out each other and allow us to go and be very right. And so like, although she, to your example, may go and look at somebody that is a high C or high S is very awesome.

Right. Like they're like her or whatever else, right? The balance, the unequal balances actually doesn't, wouldn't compliment her or whatnot. And so we begin to appreciate the strengths and weaknesses of each other, right? Like the fact that my ability to make decisions and her indecisiveness, right, you know, and, and having different levels of strength, complimentary strengths is actually a really good thing. And then you just appreciate each other so much more for what you bring to the table. You know, going up, going along with this, I, I had this thought that kids operate the same way. So like, I feel like if you took my girls and put them all together as one person, you'd have like the same way. So I feel like if you took my girls

and put them all together as one person, you'd have the perfect person. And I think that's because there's a balance that just naturally happens whenever you group people together. And I think that's what our kids are, right? Our kids do the same thing where you have these different traits among them,

but together they're like the perfect individual, right? And they just experience things differently because they kind of cover different aspects of the human experience or whatnot. And, you know, one of the things is like, you cannot make your kids all be the same person. Like that just, that's not a thing, right? We all, if you've raised kids, you realize how different each of them are. I think marriage is no different. you cannot make your kids all be the same person like that just that's not a thing right we all

if you've raised kids you realize how different each of them are um i think marriage is no different right trying to be the same person as your spouse is like it's an impossibility and you probably would get pretty bored if that was the case of looking at yourself being the same person and so um you know it's interesting cause you do go through this transition where it's like, you realize you're very, very different and it's like, okay, are those differences, um, what make us stronger or what make us weaker? And I believe they can do either one. And so I think what's really powerful is understanding how differences can make you stronger because you can use the same focus and and acknowledge that differences can make you weaker. And some people choose that and they don't figure out how to come together, but just how to come apart.

And, you know, I think like like any anything that's balanced, have you have you know you have the spectrum you have opposites and i think that's what's what's powerful about as you age this is what i think as you age you start to realize more and more of these differences and they either bring you closer together and stronger or they separate you and you see a lot of people get divorces and stuff because they don't know how to connect anymore because they use those to separate versus to become stronger and um and i think that you know the saddest thing is to see couples that are great people separate because they lose that that understanding or clarity yeah um of how powerful they can make each other what for your guys's partners wives how do you feel like they

were instrumental if you think that they genuinely were to your guys's success and i don't want to hear the thing that like what we were talking about earlier you shouldn't say anything because you feel like you have to i feel like a lot of entrepreneurs like they feel like they have to and they're going through the motions and saying oh yeah thanks to my wife or my partner right um because that's what i'm supposed to do and supposed to say but how has your partners directly contributed into your success specifically i i can say like first off i think their belief right like you cannot build a business you can but your partner's either they're being a cheerleader and encouraging you to keep going through the struggles or they're they're not you know I guess they could be just neutral don't care at all but I think when when

you're going through tough times and you've got someone there, who's like in your corner, like, you know, you've got this, um, you power through a lot. And I can, I can tell you like when I'm really, when our relationship is really good, like, I just feel, I just feel like I'm invincible. I like, no matter how hard things get, like I got something super solid to fall back on. Tim Ferriss talks about, you know, know your worst case scenario. So my worst case scenario is I'm living, at any time, I'm living in the basement of my mother-in-law's house. And once again, I'm like, is that bad? No. As long as I've got a good relationship with my wife and kids, not bad at all. You know, in, in Tony Robbins event, we did this exercise where you're trying to like, you write down certain things you want to change in your life. And then

you think about the worst case scenario, the worst things that could possibly be. And it was like, my wife leaving me, my kids not wanting to be with me. I didn't think anything about losing money or business. That wasn't even like, I wasn't part of it. And so, you know, truly like to feel fulfilled in the accomplishment of business. I think feeling like your success at home and at business compound against each other and you just feel more fulfilled on both and i think that's a powerful place to be you feel like joanna has been that for you luckily yeah like huge it's been huge for sure because there's been a few small times where like um we've been out of sorts and man it's so challenging you know and I, I feel like that's been very,

very, very few times, um, because there's been a lot of struggle I've gone through and I always can go home and know I've got someone awesome to be with. And it's like, I can, I can brush the, the hard, hard stuff to, to tomorrow, you know, and I can go home and enjoy my kids and enjoy my wife and feel loved and appreciated and I think that's a powerful thing to have. That's awesome. Yeah, I mean, so my wife Andrea, she's been just an absolute

bedrock for me. You know, she's been given a lot of opportunities to not support me. And where most people would have probably checked out. Right. I mean,

imagine your father gives your spouse millions of dollars or a million bucks to invest in their business and he loses it. And, uh, you know, she, she had, she had an opportunity to be like no i support my dad in this but she always stood by my side you know she she believed in me she she was always just stalwart

and i think a lot of that had to do with the way that she was raised and going back to like standards and, you know, sharing and not just interest but in principles. What did I say earlier? Values. Values, yeah. Just coming back to like shared values because, you know, she grew up as a farm girl. You know, one that probably doesn a farm girl, you know, one that probably doesn't question me as much or whatever else, but really just hardworking and everything else.

And so she's just always been by my side through thick and thin and put first things first. And, you know, when you find a spouse that balances you correctly, especially in an energy level, out my energy and be a comfort where if I was alone during those times or with a negative energy or whatnot, like I wanted to get married at a very young age. I saved up for my diamond ring at the age of 12, you know, and I knew that whoever was going to be my spouse, that I was going to be extremely dedicated to her. And so like that, Andrea has been that for me, just the person that has always given me purpose, meaning, life, direction, support. We don't always get along. Like I said, there's many times that we don't like each other, right?

And many times that we don't share common interests. But, you know, at the end of the day, I know that she has always been there for me. And like I said, it's not just some, like, one-off gratitude. Like, she has been been there for me. And like I said, it's not just some one-off gratitude. She has been through hell and back. We've moved 14 times during our marriage. 14 times. Most people can't ever say that over a lifetime. And she's raised our children, a lot of times, probably as a single mother.

And those kids give me so much meaning, so much hope, so much desire and direction. And, yeah, like that's been it for me. That's awesome. You know, I think something that's powerful too is your working as a partnership in the business, I think also reflects on how a person is in their, in their personal relationship. And so, you know, a lot of people ask like, how do you find a partner or whatnot? I think it's important to see like, how do they treat their other relationships? If they're not, you know, fighting for, for their relationships, they're probably not going to fight

for the partnership because I think in business, like you come across a lot of challenges, right? Things are unfair. Things are not equal. Things are like get hard. Doubt creeps in. You know, we've gone through, we've been partners for just as long as we've been married, right? And it's like we've had the relationship, you know, go through a lot of ups and downs. And I think, you know, the reason we've worked through a lot of those things is because we're dedicated to value.

We value relationships. We value our spouses. We value our children. And we value each other. And so, yeah, it's interesting. As you're talking, I'm thinking like, you know. The old how you do anything is how you do everything. Exactly. Awesome stuff. Levi. talking i'm thinking like you know the old how you do anything is how you do everything exactly awesome stuff levi tell us what what commitment level where where you are you really what are

you taking what are you taking home from this episode my man dude there's a lot i mean i've only you know i've only been married a couple of years i've been with my wife for four years now um so there's still a lot of learning that i've got and a lot of mistakes that i've made but what's cool is you know hearing your guys's experiences and understanding and having perspective of time is that you guys are still figuring it out with your relationships like nobody's got it actually all figured out never do and you guys are a lot older than me i'm like five years older yeah not that much but yeah it's cool to hear you guys's experiences from you know a younger entrepreneur and a younger married person and to hear that it's, I'm not in a bad place. I'm exactly where

I need to be. You know, one important point you bring up is you're always changing as individuals, right? In a partnership, in marriage, your kids are constantly changing. And I think like, if you're not changing as well, if you're not finding ways to change the relationship, right? Because they say like the, I don't know, you hear all kinds of different terms, like the seven year itch or, you know, how people get divorced or whatever. Really what it comes down to is like in seven years, you're two completely different people. And if you're operating on the same agreements that you started with, like those agreements usually no longer work in the relationship.

And so, you know, one of the things you talked about communication, um, I think it's so important to like, realize like, Hey, we need to renegotiate this relationship. You know, what do you value now that you didn't then, or, or what's, what's your priority look like? These are my priorities and understand how those shift and change over time because they do. They just do. And acknowledge it. And that's why you say no one has it figured out because I've never been in this role as a father raising teenagers. So many things have changed and I'm a new person because of it. And who I'll be in five years from now will be a lot different as well. Well, that's the same thing with my spouse and so our

relationship has to change with with all the changes in our lives and i think as long as we are continually improving ourselves and focusing on continually improving our relationships i think life has so much to offer i also think i've gathered to and understand just listen to you guys and just reflect on like my experience like I think as an entrepreneur, it would my life would probably be easier if I was single. But it doesn't necessarily mean my life would be better. That's right. You know, a lot of guys, they try to build a business and then build a family. You know, both Daryl and I have chose to build families and then build a business around it. And I would say there's nothing more fulfilling because at the end of the day what what's the

reason to build a business right like what what's your what's your why what's your direction and uh yeah it it is easy in a way to be single and go and do things it's also a very lonely path and not not very fulfilling um few resources as we wrap up this podcast. We talked about a few of them, but there's a lot of really good courses and different things like that out there. So Keith Yackey was from one of our previous episodes. Go and check him out. He does a lot of relationship-type coaching.

It's called, like, Relationship Game or Couples Game? The Married Game. The Married Game. Great guy. Pretty solid. it's called like relationship game or couples game the married game pretty solid leadership self-deception was one of the most incredible books that I ever read recently took a course in taking a course by

Jennifer Finlayson Fife she's got a lot of really good resources for individuals and couples but yeah there's a lot of any other resources that you would recommend for improving your relationship gosh so i just got to give one disclaimer okay so so like i love like working on becoming the better person um but uh my wife gave me kind of the uh realization that uh we can't have every vacation be a seminar or a this or that. Right. And I

actually love that stuff. Cause it helps me think in something completely different than what I'm always thinking about. Um, so make sure like, as you're, as you're pushing this stuff, don't push it on your, on your spouse. If they're not interested, like do it yourself first, like, like, and become this, make the changes that you learn about. Um, and, and hopefully that inspires your wife to join or your spouse to join. Um, but if, if initially they don't want to join, don't push it on them because that can lead to more issues. Absolutely. All right, guys. Thanks until next time.