Next Level Pros - #69: 5 Ways to Fix Your Relationship: Keith Yackey Master of Seduction

Episode Date: January 23, 2024

Join us in the man cave for an exciting episode of the Founder Podcast! In this engaging conversation, we sit down with the relationship guru, Keith Yackey, in sunny Orange County. Keith, known for his expertise in reviving the spark in marriages, shares his incredible journey and the philosophy behind MarriedGame.com. Whether it's rekindling romance or understanding the deeper truths of relationships, Keith's insights are not just thought-provoking but life-changing. Tune in for a candid and heartfelt discussion that's sure to leave you with valuable takeaways for your own love life. Don't miss out on this episode that's all about love, understanding, and a bit of fun! Highlights: "Feelings are fleeting but frameworks are forever. So anytime I can put myself up against a framework and go okay where do you stand big guy?" "In order to make the change, you gotta change your identity like what your self-perception of you... When you can change your identity you begin to act in accordance to who you perceive yourself as." "I can't do this to get something from her. I need to do this because this is who I am." Timestamps: 03:11 Being the Problem 09:06 The Five Dials: Parenting 14:56 The Five Dials: Partner 20:29 The Five Dials: Producer 24:38 The Five Dials: Player 32:45 The Five Dials: Power 43:14 Rebuilding Trust and Intimacy 47:41 The Power Dial 50:13 The Mom Matrix 53:33 Becoming a Provocateur 57:49 Changing Your Identity 59:40 Resources for Relationships

What we teach now is whether we're trying to help a lot of guys get their ex back, but I help a lot of guys get the sex back in the relationship. And that's eventually where like we, most of the people like really lean in is I'm like, most guys are trying to do things to get something from their wife. I'm going to go do the dishes. I'm going to take out the trash. I'm going to do all that stuff. Yeah, exactly. And women are bloodhounds, dude. They can smell that stuff from a mile away. And so I realized I can't do this to get something from her. I need to do this because this is who I am. Yo, yo, yo. Welcome to another episode of the Founder Podcast. Today, I am sitting in Orange County with Mr. Keith Yackey. What up, Keith?

Let's go, man. Welcome to the man cave, bro. Oh, man. I am super excited to be in the man cave. That's a good one. So for those that don't know Keith, Keith is the man, the myth, the legend. When it comes to relationships, he runs what's called The Married Game. So marriedgame.com, where he teaches successful entrepreneurs, people that are doing incredible things in life, how to get their game right with their spouse, with their wives. That's right, man. Man, this is an important subject. Well, for a guy that his wife doesn't want to be intimate with him anymore, this is like the

only thing he thinks about. Oh my goodness. Right? I mean, there could not be a better truth spoken. Yeah. I could say. That's what we do in the man cave here. We just spit truth. I love it. I love it. So, Keith, man, so you are, like, I've heard a lot about you from, I mean, I got referred to you by some people that I super respect. On top of that, you're an incredible speaker on stage.

You go around sharing the truth about relationships. So tell us a little bit about yourself, a little background on yourself. Well, you know, we're talking about married game and we're talking about this thing. So before I met my wife, I had been with hundreds of women. So I understood short-term game. I understood short-term attraction. And I wasn't actually even wanting to settle down until I met my current wife. And I was like, dude, if I was going to settle down, this would be the one. And so I asked her to be my girlfriend out of Monday Night Football. So she was watching football with you? We were at the game, closing down the bar with Mike Tirico and John Grudem. And we had had some

libations. And I said, you know, I didn't know I wanted a girlfriend, but if I was to have a girlfriend, I'd want her to be like you. Do you want to be my girlfriend? And she goes, you're drunk. And I go, maybe, but the truth is I'd like for you to be my girl. She goes, let's do it. Let's do it. So that was almost, that was a little over 12 years ago. Okay. And, this point, you'd already been married. Been married before and divorced. And had three kids? Three kids.

Yep. Been married, divorced. I was married like at 18 years old earlier. Oh, wow. So I was like, you found the one, let's go. And had three kids. And then that didn't work out. Spent a few years sowing my oats.

And then I met her. And I was like, oh, okay, this is different. I like you a lot. How old were you at this time? 12 years. I just turned 45. So let's call me 33. Yeah.

And she was 25. Okay. So I was like, all right, let's do this. Well, five years into it, we were moving into our dream home. I had some funnels that worked really well for me. And we're moving into our dream home. And I was at a mastermind. And I was bragging to some of my buddies like, dude, life's going great.

Me and Jesse are doing amazing. Life's going great. Only to have her FaceTime me and say, hey, I'm going to help you move in, but I'm not staying. Were you married at this time? Uh, the way we looked at it, that's, you know, yes. Uh, technically not marriage certificate, but that our mind was committed. It, it was, it was more than just like, Oh, my long-term girlfriend, like you're it, we're it forever yeah and um and so she goes uh yeah i'm not staying and you run your business you come home and talk about your business and then you fall asleep on the couch and if i'm being really honest with you and i know this

is going to sting i believe my life would be better without you in it how long ago was this seven years ago and this is almost seven almost seven and a half i i feel the gut punch from that that sentence bro it was like okay and she's like so i know you're probably going to try and figure out how now she goes but i've been thinking this for a really long time and no matter what i try and tell you to do i'm clearly not a priority to you. Your business is way more important. Your friends are more important. And, um, yeah, we're, we're, we're done. And it was all. And then so she, she did help me move in. We got everything

unpacked, everything. And then I loaded up her stuff and my daughter's stuff into a smaller U-Haul and I watched them drive down the road. How old is your daughter at this point? Two. Yeah. And it was almost, it didn't hit me right in that moment, but it was almost like, it feels like it is because I'm looking back, but right in that first week or two, it became very clear to me, I'm the problem. And it was almost like simultaneously, I realized, well, if I clear to me, I'm the problem. And it was almost like simultaneously, I realized, well, if I'm the problem, I'm the solution. And so I hired three coaches, you know, as any any good dude, you're like, Hey, I got a problem. I got I got to hire a coach. I heard three different coaches, right? And I'm like, Okay, how do I and they really helped me understand the psychology of what I did wrong and where I went wrong and actually how I could

get her back. Even though I didn't even actually believe that they went through what I did wrong and where I went wrong and actually how I could get her back. Even though I didn't even actually believe that they went through what I went through. Because like, you know, when you go through something like that, the pain is so real and so visceral. And when they're explaining it, I'm like, you may have went through it, but I don't know if you went through it. But what you're telling me to do makes so much sense. Because trying to get somebody back is very counterintuitive. Because I did everything wrong. I'm like, dude, I wrote her music. I put PowerPoint presentations together. I'm calling her and crying and making myself look really pathetic and only pushing her away. Totally desperate. And then I realized, dude, this isn't working and you need- PowerPoint presentations.

PowerPoint presentation. Dude, tell me about that. Hold on. Time out. Yeah. PowerPoint presentation. First of all, I've got to hear what was on this PowerPoint presentation. Just pictures of us.

Like trying to bring back old memories, you know. Just sappy. Oh, dude. Bro, I'm singing Bruno Mars. I'm singing the – I'm pulling my guitar out. I used to be a musician. And I'm singing the, I'm pulling my guitar out. I used to be a musician and I'm singing songs and putting, dubbing it over. It was like a bad mixtape from when we were kids, dude.

Yeah. Yummy. Yeah. And so she was just like, dude, you need to stop. Like this is. This is pathetic. This is pathetic. And you're a joke.

And then I was like, yeah, you're right. I am. So I realized that if I was like, yeah, you're right. I am. So I realized that if I'm the problem, I'm the solution. The solution is I need to become the most attractive. I realized the punchline was she's no longer attracted to me. And a lot of guys, when they think about being attractive, they think, oh, you got to have muscles and abs and all this. And I realized it's so much more than that.

It's attraction is people lean in and go, hey, I want to know more. I want, I like being around you. And she, she was repelled. She was like, you know, and there's reasons like when she, when, when we first got together, I was 185 pounds of tiger meat wrapped in barbed wire, dude. Like I was fit, lean, ready to go. When she left, I had ballooned up like 245, 60 pounds, 60 pounds of just, of, of good eating. You know what I mean? And she's, I'm like, this is your fault. I'm kidding. No, it wasn't. It was mine. I kept eating. And she's just like, you know, um, I'm not, I'm not selling for this anymore. Like this is not what you promised us. And it was like the ultimate bait and switch. When I look back, you know, it's as humiliating as that is to say, I was like the ultimate bait and switch artist. So I realized I had to become attractive,

but I have to do it for me because like, I think women, they can sense this energy. And so like what we teach now is whether we're trying to help a lot of guys get their ex back, but I help a lot of guys get the sex back in the relationship. And that's eventually where like we, we, most of the people like really lean in is I'm like, most guys are trying to do things to get something from their wife. I'm going to go do the dishes. I'm going to take out the trash. I'm going to do all that stuff. Yeah,

exactly. Yeah. And women are bloodhounds, dude. They can smell that stuff from a mile away. And so I realized I can't do this to get something from her. I need to do this because this is who I am and I need to become, and I knew what that meant. I knew what it meant to become the most attractive version of me. Uh, I was not new to, uh, female interaction and I

had realized, dude, I messed this up and I need to get back to being who I am. The one she fell in love with. So what'd you do? Like specifically? Yeah, dude. Give us, give us the game plan, man. We're all of us guys are over here taking notes. So we're like, yep. Been there. Yeah. Been there on the transactional. Right. Been there when the wife not necessarily says I'm done, but it's like, Hey, God, you know, there's a lot about you that I'm not attracted to. Right. Like we've all been there. Well, I'm going to, I'll, I'll frame it with the, how I frame it now. Um, because it will be easier for us to go, Oh, check. Okay. I'm not

doing that. I'm not doing that. I'm not, Oh, I am doing that. I'm not doing that, but it's not how I thought about it in the time. I'm, you know, looking back, I was able to frame it up and go, okay, what did I actually do? And so I, that's where I came up with the five dials. So I'll just explain it. Yeah. Let's do it. So I realized that not only her, but every woman is looking at their man and going, okay, I am, they're judging us by these five things. These are the five major criteria that a woman is basically consciously or unconsciously judging her husband on and either gaining attraction or losing attraction based on these things. So the first thing was, is the parenting

dial. And she looked at me and she, my wife said, I feel like a single parent and I feel, uh, I don't even want to have a second kid with you because you were so bad with the first one. And I had already had three other kids and I had changed plenty of diapers with the first three ones. I didn't, I changed like maybe four diapers in two years with my, my now nine-year-old daughter, Jovi. And she's like, I don't even want to go out on girls night because I'm not even sure you can handle our kid. Like what a, what an indictment to what a POS I was. You know what I mean? So I was like, okay. But a lot of guys are like, is it really that big of a deal?

And I go, well, dude, she's hardwired to birth these babies and to make sure that they survive and then thrive. Right. I mean, that's their number one concern. And they're built for it. We would be shocked if they didn't think that. You know what I mean, that's their number one concern. And they're built for it. We would be shocked if they didn't think that. You know what I mean? The same way that we're hardwired to solve problems, to provide, to do all those different things. Kill buffalo.

We want to kill buffalo, they want to raise babies. And so one of the things that I realized was that the truth is that women love their kids more than their husband. A hundred percent of the time. And here's why I know that. Because moms divorce dads. They don't divorce kids. And so whether we like it or not, that's the facts. And so I realized she's looking at me and going like,

do you care about this thing that we made together? Do you care? And are you invested in this? And if you're not, and you're neglecting this baby, you're neglecting a part of me. And so I realized I got like a zero out of 10 on that particular score. And so it was a real huge turnoff for us. It's like, all right, this guy is a total loser dad. And she wasn't wrong. So that was the first thing I was like, you know what? I need to actually show up. And why am I not showing up? Like this needs to just change now.

And so she moved away to California. Where were you living at the time? Vegas. Okay. So I lived like three doors down from Mr. T. Okay. So like having that guy as a neighbor is like, it's kind of a fun talking point. But with that being said, I was like, okay, well, every

weekend I'm either going to go there or I'm going to pay for her to come here. And when she's here, I'm going to like be all in as a dad with her. I'm not going to be like on my phone. Like, you know, yeah, I do. I was like all in, I've got some of the best memories. And then I would pay for her mom to bring her up. And so then I would hang out with her mom. And so I, all these things I'd missed before, barely talked to her family, barely. Like I just, I would just was in my thing. And a lot of entrepreneurs get that. They're like tunnel vision. I'm building my thing. Out killing Buffalo. I'm out killing Buffalo. And, and shocked that that's not enough. Most guys like, dude, I provide, I protect, I produce. Like what, What's the problem here? Where's my... And it's like, you don't get it, man.

That's only one of the dials. So I was majorly messing up this parenting dial, which is so embarrassing. Because it's like, you would think I would get that. And most dudes listening to this, they'd be like, okay, I'm nailing that dial, Keith. Move on. But that was a big one for me. So that was dial number one I can relate with that you know like yeah I mean I have five kids you know and I think I'm a good dad

yeah most of the time but there's definitely times where it's just like she's the only one involved right like I'm out traveling I'm working I'm killing the buffalo I'm doing these different things I'm building an empire or whatever it may be, and she's running into Little League baseball and dance practice and everything else, and then I come home, and the last thing I want to do is be engaged. It's like I want to decompress or whatever else. There's definitely been times where I've been more engaged or less engaged.

Me and my wife have been married for 18 years. Our oldest is 17. Nice. And so, like, there's definitely been these different times where that relationship has stretched thin and I haven't been the best at. Yeah. And so I definitely can see why that's such an important dial. Here's a telltale sign if a guy is kind of messing this thing up without even knowing he's messing it up, is when he looks at his kids like he's babysitting them.

You guys have seen this? And my wife's like, you're not babysitting our daughter. You're her dad. And you spending time with her is not like, wow, well done. You're her dad. How do you not get this? You shouldn't even be praised for it. Exactly.

That's exactly right. Yeah, it's like, you need a cookie? Like, what are you doing, dude? So I really jacked that one up big time. All right, second dial. Most guys, if they would rate themselves on a 1 to 10, they might be like, I'm a 7, 8, or 9. Very few guys are like the 1 or 2 like I was. But some guys are. But we'll see. You know, they get to rate themselves.

The second dial was what we call the partner dial. I kind of just call that like the best friend dial. How connected does your wife feel with you on a friendship level? And most guys are failing this in a major way. And they're like, they don't really care what their wife's saying. And they're like, oh, you're talking about your sister and your mom again. That's lame. But they'll put on a good face and thinking, if I put in 15 minutes of talk time here, maybe I'll get a few minutes upstairs. And this whole transactional energy comes around. And people know, dude, if you actually are listening or care or leaning in, like they know. And women really know because that's their thing. You know what I mean? They're really dialed in on that. And it's like, is this guy just talking to

me? Like, uh-huh, babe. Yeah, right. Oh, sure. Or is he really like my partner in life? And it shows up another way too. And this is where I was really messed up. My wife just said, I feel more alone being married to you than if I was single. And I was like, oh, dude, you're not wrong. Like she wasn't wrong. Like I was dead to rights on all of these things. So it's like when I realized I was the problem, I was like, these are actually easy things to fix if I would just like lean into this. And so, for example, usually

I get off around five every night and I'm like, Hey, let's go on a family date night. Let's all go out to dinner and let's leave around five 15. It gives me time to come home, kind of, you know, get stuff, you know, straighten out and then let's head out. And I'd be the guy that would get home at five, tinker around till like five 14 and 45 seconds. then come strolling out like i'm ready you got you guys ready to you guys ready to rock and roll like let's go and she'd be like man it kind of would have been really helpful for you to help me with our daughter get her ready maybe maybe even pack up the car like be helpful geez dude you're hitting me just right right below the shorts all oh geez that's what i'm here to do that's what i'm here

to do keep going keep going so it i just i'm not sure i want my wife to listen to this podcast she's like yep yep yeah yeah well wait till we get to dial four and five but for so so so i realized i wasn't even showing up like a best friend and And she, she would tell me, she's like, I don't even tell you most of the things that go on in my life. Cause I feel like you don't even actually care. And who wants to be in partnership with somebody who doesn't actually listen, doesn't actually care, doesn't actually lean in, doesn't actually ask, Hey, we talk about showing up with curiosity and curiosity is a superpower. Hey, I'm curious about you. Tell me about this. Hey, why did you do that? You know, when know when when you were in school what was this like when you moved here what was that emotion like what what did you go through her dad was a uh like a rocket he was on

tour with motley crew right he's got a couple like uh silver records like the guy's done some cool stuff it's like you don't even care her uncle was the manager from Motorhead, which is one of the greatest rock bands of all time. Who actually, that mirror is from Lemmy, the guy who was the singer of Motorhead. And she's like, you don't even know really anything about me. And in fact, she goes, I feel like a walking private part. Jeez. Did you just feel like she was just kicking you in the teeth? I felt.

Because I feel for you. Yeah. Yeah, dude. We're talking. This is the funniest thing. Seven years ago when she left me, all my best friends, like in Martel and Vargas, these guys were around at that time. Yeah. And they were like, she's not wrong. Like, you are that guy.

Like, you're a great friend and you're doing great things in business. But, dude, like we can kind of. When Jesse calls us, we're like, yeah, he's those things. And so it was like this thing where it was like this big awakening for me where I was like, dude, I really, I really actually am the problem here. And this is now going to be my second divorce and I'm, I'm, I'm at fault here. So like, it was a really, yeah, it was a kick in the teeth for me, dude. It was, it was going, I want to hear more about the kicks because there's, there's a three more dials, two more dials. Yeah. So, so a guy can rate himself, uh, scale of one to 10. How good of a partner would your wife actually call you to tell you

about something that was important to her or she call her best friend or mom first? Dude. And, and, and, uh, the same token, if some importance happening in business, are you first calling your wife? Exactly. Right. Like that, that's actually one of the gauges I, I use in a lot of times it's not the case and I'm, I got to check myself. Like, like why am I not excited to tell this to my wife? Yeah. Right. Yeah, exactly. Probably cause she's like, uh-huh. Cool. You've told me about everything a hundred times and you never asked me. And by the way, my wife's name is Andrea. She got after me the other day for only referring to her as my wife on the podcast. Okay. All right. Shout out to Andrea. Well done. Hopefully you're not watching this podcast,

but your best friend is. No. Okay. All right. So, um, the third dial, this one is this one. Every guy's gonna be like, that's me. I'm good at this. The producer dial. We are built to go out, kill Buffalo, bring back the pills. I'm a 12 out of 10. Yeah. You're a 12 out of 10, dude. Right. So it's like, and most guys are like, Hey, you know what? I'm doing pretty well. Now here's the interesting thing is with this dial, I was a 10 out of 10. I was crushing. I was creating. We were moving into a beautiful home. Like it was, life was good in that regard.

And guys say one of two things. I'm doing this for my family, which of course I said, I'm doing all this for you. And she's like, except you're not here. So, and you're doing it for your ego. And I actually don't even want any of this if I don't get you. I wanted you, but you're giving me all this. And this, I can't snuggle with this. I wanted to snuggle with you.

Man, this is one-on-one counseling for me. Yeah, here we go. I like this. We're not even to the good stuff yet. Keep it going. Well done, Chris. Okay, so it was, there was the one guy that we become the workaholic and we say, we're doing this for you. And then there's the other guy, we become the workaholic and we say, we're doing this for you.

And then there's the other guy, which I kind of fit both. My business was kind of on, it wasn't on autopilot, but I had a team, I had crew, and we were doing multiple seven figures. So I was like, I kind of got this. And I kind of started taking my foot off the gas in myself, letting myself go. And she's like, you kind of lost your ambition and your drive. Like, yeah, we've got this thing, but I know you when you're really into something and you're really on the gas. This is, this isn't, this isn't you. Right. Right. And so I like to say, Hey, women

women don't want to, uh, they don't want to have cloth seats in one-bedroom apartments forever. So there's got to be this ambition and drive to go. But it's also got to be like, we're doing this for you, and I'm bringing you along, and we're doing this together. It's like you and me versus the world, as opposed to I'll go out and kill the buffalo. And there's almost an entitlement for men when they do really bring home great buffalo steaks and great buffalo pelts. They're like, there you go. Now you should give me everything I want. And she's like, yeah, but it doesn't work that way. It doesn't work that way. So I would have encouraged a guy to be like on a scale of

one to 10, where are you at? Like how resourceful are you? It does because it matters to a woman. She wants to feel safe and secure. She doesn't want to be broke. She doesn't want to be like, she doesn't want to see her man stressed about money all the time. Cause then he's not focused on her and like bringing this abundance and peace to her. So that's the first three dials. Any, any feedback on that so far? Oh man. Like I said, I feel like this is a personal, uh, counseling session for me, but yeah, man, I mean, if I'm going to grade myself on the first three, on the first three dials, number three, I'm feeling fantastic about. Okay, good.

Like I said, 12 out of 10, maybe even a 15 out of 10. Okay. Yeah, I like it. I've got plenty of Buffalo coming in at home. I feel like I'm the provider. I'm doing awesome. As far as being the father that I need to be or being the partner that I need to be, there's some room for improvement. I'm not necessarily want to disclose where I feel like I'm at on a number scale to the whole world, but man, yeah, this is great. I think, you know, and it's interesting because conceptually, whatever the subject is, you know, most of us know a lot of these things, right? Like what you're saying isn't new right it but the way that you're

breaking it down and into like like we operate off of like all right here's a five-step structure right or a framework to be able to go and and men especially respond to frameworks we love that we we love we love frameworks so you i mean you putting this down into a five-step dial framework is huge. And it really helps me, like, yeah, man, where am I at as far as being the present father that needs to take care of my children and be an equal partner in the relationship and then treat my wife like a best friend, you know? And so, man, I think this is great stuff. Yeah, I always say, like, you know, feelings are fleeting, but frameworks are forever. And so anytime I can put myself up against a framework and go, okay, where do you stand, big guy? Like, where are you really at? So that leads us into the fourth dial.

And the fourth dial and fifth dial are usually where guys really fall off the cliff really bad. So the fourth dial is the player dial. When you think of a player, I'm not talking about Mr. One-Night-Stand guy. I'm talking about, to quote the great American poet, Cyndi Lauper, girls just want to have fun. Most guys stop truly dating their wife, like genuinely being fun they for me i i went from svelte strong athletic body where like i would be walking down the boardwalk and women would be like you look great to 245 or 245 like dude maybe men do get pregnant you know what i mean like

wow that's the emoji the emojis after that guy So just the player of like being, understanding, being playful and banter and flirting and understanding. The guy that she fell in love with, every, and here's the cool thing about getting the intimacy, like roaring back again in the bedroom is you're her type. She already said, I'm attracted to you in the beginning. Or she wouldn't have said, I do. She wouldn't have been into you. And most guys are like, dude, in the beginning of the marriage, dude, the bedroom was on fire. And they know what that peak of possibility is. And then now they're living in this pit. And a way for a guy to know that he's in this pit and he's seeing this huge gap is she no longer initiates. This is how a guy can know that he's in this pit and he's seeing this huge gap is she no longer initiates.

This is how a guy can know like, Hey, I'm, I'm really, if we'll look at the dials, but just know this. If she stopped initiating, if she stopped enthusiastically participating and guys know what I'm talking about, she's not just laying there and go, Hey, you got four minutes until the bachelorette comes on. Hurry up. You know what I mean? Like do your thing. I'm not here, but you can use my body. Guys hate that. We want to be wanted. We want to be desired. Absolutely. And it's like, well, are you wantable? Okay, well, the player is the guy who, he's the world's resident expert on understanding his wife's love language. He understands how she operates. He is still dating her for fun. He's not dating her out of obligation. Like, well, you know, the church says we're supposed to hang out, so we should do that.

Or the counselor said, you know, we're supposed to spend more time together, so I guess I'll come home early one night and, you know, let's get on with it. Women don't want that. So I always ask guys this. I go, when's the last time you took your wife on a date? And usually guys are like, I don't know, six weeks ago, eight weeks ago. And I go, okay, cool. What did you do? Like, well, you know, we went to home Depot to pick up some parts for the house and then swing through Chick-fil-A. It was a good night out. And I'm like, bro, you don't get it. This is, this is why your wife's not clawing at you and saying, Hey, the kids are down. You better

meet me up in the bedroom in five minutes. I'm going to be ready for you. The reason why that went away is because he's no longer playful. He's, like a broomstick broke off in his arse. And she's like, dude, you're serious all the time. You're no longer fun. We never go on dates. And so I always go like this. Okay, let's just set a new standard. What if you set this standard? Every guy had that crush in high school, right? And unless you married her, you remember her and you're like, okay, I married my crush. You married your crush. Okay. Well, my crush was Kristen Bennett. She was the head cheerleader and she sat next to me at Algebra in ninth grade, right? I always wanted to get with Kristen. And I imagine right now, and for the guys watching and listening, dude,

imagine right now the crush in high school, you're single and she reaches out to you on social media and says, hey, it looks like life's pretty good. It would be great to connect. You're like, cool. It's a date. I'll pick you up at such and such night. How would you show up to that date? Dude, you'd be doing your pushups before. You wouldn't be wearing your dad's, you know, sport coat that's three sizes too big. You'd be smelling good. You'd be planning. Okay, we're going to go here. We're going to go here. You'd be putting a lot of effort and intention. Why? You want to get laid. You want action. And so it's like, well, but you don't do any of that for your wife and you expect it just to happen. Like you, you, you know better than that. Nobody says I'm going to get abs and biceps without working out. Why do you expect her

to fawn all over you if you're not putting in any effort. So that's what the player dial is. The player dial is, wait, I've got to keep things, I've got to stay in shape and be the best version of me for me, and that's the standard that I set. And she looks at him and goes, dude, he's still as hot as he was in high school. In fact, he's even hotter because now he's got white hair, and now he's rich, and he's funny, he's playful, and dude, he's such a good dude. Most wives can't say that about their husband anymore. that's the player dial i like that you know that one

it's interesting i think sometimes i would classify myself as a 10 and other times as a as a two yeah it kind of it kind of depends so i that's that's one thing that i've gotten pretty right in my relationship with my wife and Andrea, that we've, I don't know, it was like seven years ago, maybe eight years ago, I decided, all right, we're going to date every week, right? And so we go without fail every Friday night. And then if for whatever reason, we have a football game or something that night, then we swap it. We do it on a Saturday. But I would say we hit probably 95% of our weeks so that that's pretty good yeah but but there's definitely aspects that you what

you're saying as far as like you know having like bringing my a-game you know you know trimming up trimming up my beard just right or whatever whatever it may be right like wearing the nicest clothes instead of wearing a backwards hat and like some sweats yeah and and hitting up home depot or whatever exactly yeah it's effort when they see you when you put in effort and you smell i mean this is some this is some basic stuff but some guys are like dude like you smell like why don't you wear deodorant or why don't you trim your nails or why why does your breath stink or don't you do your hair? Like, like, and here's, here's what's, here's a concept that we have in Mary game. We want to be the catch of the county.

The catch of the county means this. If for some reason your wife decided either she died or she wanted to leave you, or she did leave you, would you have a hundred women at your front door saying, how do I be the next Mrs. You? That's a standard. That is a high standard. That guy who lives by that standard, or at least has that in mind and is aware of it, that dude is getting a lot of action in the bedroom. Why? Because when, see, the reason we, I talk about sex and intimacy and connection like this so much, because first of all, a guy understands. He goes, I'm either getting it or I'm not. Or if I, 85% of dudes are not happy with the quantity or quality of intimacy in their marriage. So I know in every room I walk into, eight and a half of those dudes are like, they're like, keep talking. I'm listening. But

sometimes they'll like be like, oh, I don't need it. I don't need that. I don't need to listen to some dude teach me how to do that. And it's like, well, the good carpenter of Nazareth taught us what? What's your fruit? Look at every tree and bear everything off of what kind of fruit does it bear? And so if you don't like the fruit in your life, most guys get mad at the fruit. Oh, fruit, you should be better. It's like, no, no, no, dude, look at the root, bro. The root is unhealthy.

The soil is unhealthy. You're speaking my language. I don't know if you know this, but I love trees. Really? I'm a big tree guy. You said that when you mentioned that, when you watched the tree out there, when you look at the tree outside. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I have 23 acres. Where did the tree fetish start? Actually being a hobby farmer. Okay. So, so I have a hobby farm. It's just what I like to do in my off time. Right. Like my wife loves being out in the, in the gardens and we have two and a half acres of yard. Right. And then so flower beds and everything. And then we have another 20 acres of trees. We have cherry trees and black walnut trees. I have 9,000 cherry trees and different things like that. And so I think that trees actually teach us more about leadership

and about life than pretty much anything. And what you're talking about as far as fruit, this is actually something I teach, that the goal isn't to produce fruit. The goal is to be a tree that can bear fruit, right? To take care of that because fruit is only under ideal circumstances and we can't always control the yeah the circumstance right so the weather can be bad or whatnot that can destroy the fruit and if we're so focused on

the fruit we'll just chop the tree down yeah because it didn't produce what we wanted versus actually taking care of the thing that just being able to produce. So I'm, I'm a big, like, like I said, you're speaking my language. Yeah. Well, I just, because guys get so mad. They're like, why can't I get this right? It's like, you're not a tree that can bear fruit, man. Your roots are jacked up. The soil is jacked up. Something is off. So let's focus there. Let's look there. And this player dial, usually a lot of guys are like, dude, I'm not very fun anymore. I'm not very playful. You know, defensiveness guys get so defensive and it's like, dude, nobody likes being around

defensive person. Like it's, it's so annoying and it's exhausting, but most dudes get really defensive. And it's like, okay, so well, that's, that's the opposite. Fun is the opposite of trauma too. If you notice laughing is it's the only involuntary thing that we do is people will listen to a comedian. They don't go, Oh yeah, that should be funny. I should be laughing. Ha ha ha. No, it's you go, I can't stop it. It's like uncontrollable. So, but a person doesn't laugh when they're in traumatic situations. It's the opposite. So it's like, I failed this misery.

Dude, I got like a zero. I stopped going out with my wife. I stopped taking her out. I was just like, nah, I'm busy. I got my thing to do. Maybe later, maybe one day. And she's like, dude, there's no promise of tomorrow, Keith. Like, are you going to get it together or not so this is a

big dial that a lot of guys congrats for you for being a 10 most of the time and not I wouldn't say 10 most of the time I like I said I swing back and forth okay yeah like there's some things in that dial that I am a 10 right like consistently go out on a date I'm pretty dang good at that right like like those those are some things but there's there's definitely other things and I'm pretty dang good at that. Right? Like, those are some things. But there's definitely other things that I'm like, you know, like, I don't care to impress my wife in certain areas. Yeah. She'll be like, why don't you shave your nose hairs? You know, just like stuff. I'm just like, who cares?

Like, you're my wife, you know? Like, you're around me all the time. Why do I need to impress you with my nose hairs? But yet, if I was trying to be the catch of the town, you know that thing would be well shaved and trimmed up and you know just just crap like that but it but it just triggers some of these some of these things that it is interesting how we let things go lax yeah it's it's you know what i've noticed is that women they want to be able to sit back and in a room and be like so proud that that's their man, right? The woman that's like, I got him, that I'm his, that's a woman that shows up with a heart to say,

I want to please you. I want to serve you. Dude, when you love a woman, her love back to you is, it's exponential. It's like, it's, we look at it like deposits and credits, you know what I mean? And most guys, they're, they're kind of afraid. Well, first of all, a lot of guys have been, well, let me get into the, so that's the player dial. So I think I'm going to get into power dial here in a second. But the player dial is this dial where you ask yourself, like, are you really that wantable? That if, if it wasn't your wife and this was how you showed up for any woman, would any woman be like, wow, I can't wait to hang out with you? And most guys, unfortunately, the answer is no.

What's interesting, so I have a friend, I won't share his name, but he went through a divorce probably a couple of years ago. And it's interesting because most guys that go through divorces, you see a transformation take place afterwards. Right. So they go from fat, overweight, not taking care of themselves, not impressing their wife to all of a sudden I got to be back market ready. Yeah. Right. And they start getting ready. That's a great way of putting it. Right. Like they, they go into, they start working out, taking care of themselves. It's like, dude, why didn't you do that beforehand? Why didn't you want to be market ready for your wife? The one that you had invested 15, 20 years that you have four or five kids with or whatever it may be right and it's and it's so intriguing

that like us as men we we literally we just nothing clicks until it's gone yeah that dude that's that's so true dude uh there's a there's a thing, that I am, I don't know anybody's talking about it, but I like talking about it. And I think you've actually said it better than I've even said it. And I'll, I'll tell you my original theory and thesis, and then I'm going to tell you why I think yours is better or yours, yours defines and describes what I've been trying to say way better. Pray tell. So when a man is single, he has options. And what causes women to show up as their best version of themselves is because they realize they are one of many options. All you have to do is watch The Bachelor or The Bachelor and everybody's vying for that rose. And so he becomes the chooser, all right? Because he has many

options. But once somebody says, hey, I do it and we're in this, this monogamous, it's you and me. There is no more options. Like that's it. But, and so the key to short-term attraction and why people will vie for a man's attention is he's market ready and he has options. But when he says I do, and they become one, that lever is gone. It's entirely gone. She's like, why do I need to shave my nose hair? Like I've already got you. Right. And most guys look at the relations like I won. It's finished. It's like, no, no, you just stepped into the starting blocks. It's even harder now to keep that attraction firing. So what is the lever now? The lever I've always said is you have, the lever is perception of options.

Not that you're on dating sites, not that you're trying to hook up with anybody, but it's you stay market ready. So I need, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to adopt that from you. Trade market, baby. Yeah. Market ready. Because here's what happens is if, if a guy, if, if somebody come up to like your wife, not your wife, but a guy's wife, and goes, do you think he's cheating on you? And she goes, who would want him? He's not market ready. And so she goes, I've actually settled being with him.

Nobody else would. I've got the dog. I've got the runt of the litter. She's not sitting across the room going, I'm that guy's wife. And that is the key to being a player, dude. So staying market ready. So it's interesting. This is also similar to the concept of like considering death, right? Like, I don't know if you've ever thought about it this way, but like for me, the easiest way to take advantage of today or a relationship in the moment,

or really just embrace my blessings for what they are is to ponder on death, right? Sounds like Marcus Aurelius. Right? So like when you go and you consider death, like if I were to die tomorrow, would I be happy with what I'm doing right now or with whatever?

It's the same. It's not that I want to die. It's not that I want a divorce or I want to be available to all these women, right? Like same type of concept. but if that were to happen would i would i be satisfied with what i'm doing today right and and so it's it's the it's the same exact concept you don't necessarily have to put yourself through death or put yourself through divorce or put yourself back on the market yeah right but you just have to remind yourself that like, that's the other side, right? I could be

dead tomorrow or I could be back on the market and be fat and unattractive and everything else. So like, how do I take advantage of where I'm at today to really capitalize on the relationship that I have? You know, I love that analogy. I think that's so perfect and it what was coming to me while you were saying that was like people need to stop living in fantasy and they need to start living in reality right the reality is you could be dead tomorrow we we have friends how old are you 39 39 i'm 45 i've got dudes that plenty of people that in my life that are my age that are gone yeah i almost died earlier this year well 10 months ago Yeah. I'll tell you about it in a bit, but okay. Wow. All right. So, so you've been faced with this, like you're face

to face with death and you go, okay. Uh, my wife's brother unexpectedly passed away just 18 months ago. He was 31. So it hit our family in a very serious way. We're like wild dude. And it made my wife go, I'm going to do the podcast with you. I'm going to die. What does it matter? Who cares? Why don't I just get on? And what I can tell people will really actually help their existence now. I'm done being afraid. I'm going to serve people now rather than try and protect whatever ego I have.

So it's moving from fantasy, which, dude, I was so delusional thinking my wife would never leave me. But if you looked at reality, it's like, why would she stay? Right. And that was the reality was like the frying pan across the face is like, Oh dude. And most guys, if their wife were to leave him right now, they'd be shocked and they have no idea. And a lot of guys who listen to our podcast or listen to when I'm a guest on other podcasts, they're like, dude, you like, you like brought reality to me. Like, I'm actually not the catch of the county. I'm actually not wantable, dude. And this is what I told, uh, Jesse after about maybe a month and a half of her being gone. And I, and I realized, okay, dude, this was your fault. I started working on myself, getting in shape, doing my thing and

do whatever. I actually, I actually like sent her a video and cause we were still co-parenting and we were talking, but I said, um, I'm actually proud of you. You should have left me. And secondly, and I didn't realize this one would be so weighty. This next thing I said, cause I was just, you know, spitting from the heart. I said, uh, it's kind of a shame that some other woman's actually going to cash in on all your hard work and i meant it because i i felt bad i'm like dude you woke me up right and now i'm being that guy like i knew i was back in that state like oh i know who to be and i was like and it was like you did all the work like you're the one who like sowed all this

and tilled this ground and planted the seed and watered it. And some other person's going to come through and like, eat all the harvest. Yeah. And then I'm just like, I feel bad. I feel like I feel horrible. And, but thank you. You know what I mean? Like I, it was like, I was deeply gratitude. I always had deep gratitude for it. So that's the player dial. Just be wantable. Love it. All right. Hold on. Timeline. Yeah. So how long, so obviously you made it work with her. Yeah. How long were you guys separated? About five or six months.

About five or six months. Yeah. And she had, dude, after about a month or two months, she had found somebody new. Like there was no, I was out of the picture. This was not. She was done. Done, done. Like so done. It was. And so is done, done, done like so done.

It was. And so people are like, the only thing you shared at that point was a child. That's it. That's it. And so it's, it's, it's, I still find it really comical.

I got to tell you a story. So she comes back and she's been back about six weeks. We still hadn't been intimate. She still had boxes packed packed still in her closet. So I'm, dude, I'm so insecure about this. You're walking on needles. I'm like, what is going on? So we're laying in bed and her foot touches mine.

And the story I'm about to tell you, it might sound unbelievable to hear on your ears. It's just as unbelievable coming off my lips, but it happened to me, so I'm going to tell it to you anyway. As soon as her foot touched me, I started crying, like deeply, like, you know, really crying. And I was like, dude, this is as low as I've ever—even though I got her back, the hugs were obligatory. The kisses were like, okay, like, we're working with some coaches. They're like, all right, write 10 good things about your partner. And she's like, I can only come up with one.

And he's like, okay, well, what is it? And she's like, he's trying. Like that was it. I'm six weeks into this journey back. She's like, he's trying. And I'm like, oh, dude, she's beautiful. She's amazing. She's a great mom.

And I'm like, I can fill out 10 easy. And she's like, I got one. And I was like okay so this isn't going good and um this isn't exactly because you think you got her back but right is she really back and in that moment i feel god speak to me this is why it sounds it might sound weird to people but he said i'm gonna use you to help millions of men solve this same problem. Love it. And I was like, you got the wrong house.

Because I haven't solved the problem. I'm like, dude, there's boxes. We don't even hang out. Like, it's like this. You got the. And I genuinely was like, I was so humbled by it. So to see where we're at here, having helped hundreds of guys and having thousands of people listen to our podcast and like people like, like Garrett's like, bro, you've got to come

and share your, like it's, it's my, I still chuckle at this whole thing, but I know what I'm saying is true because when I say it, men are like, that's true. That's right. Gosh, you're dang, you're really, man, you're hitting me. You know what i mean so yeah and so for you to say that uh you're not sure how i would uh perceive the hearing god's voice i do so first of all big believer over here yeah so and and i and i think that like god utilizes us as as tools in his hands to accomplish a greater work right like that's that's my ultimate belief that

like the reason i've been put on this earth is to go and impact and change and and you know do incredible things amongst millions of lives yeah and so like absolutely like just hearing the message that you're sharing yeah 100 agree that yeah and it's like any religion dude i've got muslim guys like dude i heard your podcast and i was like i've only been doing one of those dials. And they're like, I'm a 20% man. And even though whether, it doesn't even matter what religion people are, what faith people believe. Like this, what I'm saying is just true.

It's the gospel. Yeah. I call it the gospel of married game. Yeah. And I feel like I'm an evangelist. And that's the fervor and zeal I have. Here's the thing. Religion doesn't depict truth. Truth is evangelist like and that's the the fervor and zeal i have here's the thing religion doesn't depict truth truth is truth yeah that's right right like in in every religion has some aspect of truth some have more than others yeah but like you can find

truth in everything so like i'm a big believer that you can't separate your spiritual from your physical from your economic from everything like if a principle is true or whatnot like it rings true so like yeah absolutely like it's gonna i'm on that mission i believe god talks to me i'm here for one thing and that's to share this with dudes because regardless of where you go after you die if you and your wife aren't good while you're here it already feels like hell on earth and like for for dudes that are like, we talked about earlier, like if a guy has, and we, we work with a lot of business dudes, you know what I mean? It's because that's who we are. Like we love business. Like we love freedom. We love independence. If you have radical abundance in every other area of your life,

except this one, dude, it is, you would give up everything just to have that. And I know guys are like, dude, I would give up everything to have my wife actually love me. I go, well, you don't have to do that. All you have to do is become lovable again. And let's work on that. So number five. Dial five. Dial five is the power dial.

The power dial. Our society has made men or done its best to try and make men feel bad for being men. And they've been doing it through TV. Absolutely. You got Al Bundy's. You're like, you got Homer Simpson. You got Phil Dunphy. It's like they got the hot wives and this doofus dad.

And so the power dial is there's a couple aspects to it. If I could sum it up with this one statement to me, it like holds everything. And it's do what you say you're going to do when you say you're going to do it without fault. Like you do. And, and you're going to be right. 90%, 95%, 99% of the time, because you're human. You're going to forget stuff. Like we all forget stuff. I'm not perfect, but if I say I'm going to do something, you can, the check is it's, it's, it's going to clear. And, and, but it didn't for a long time. And so what happens is I'll give you a story. We move into this house, beautiful house. And my wife's like, Hey, can you hang this in here and

kind of put this stuff here? I go, no problem. I'm on it. Week later, she goes, Hey, where are you going? I'm like, I got it. I'm on it. Don't nag me. I got it. Three weeks later, she's like, I don't want to be a nag, but, and what I realized is I, that was a pattern in my life. I would say, I would do something. Hey, can you, I'll be here at this time. Not there. Super late. Oh, busy at the office. And it's like excuse after excuse after excuse. And what I realized what happens was I started losing her trust. And so when I came up with the phrase, when the trust goes down, the lust goes down. And so she goes, if I can't trust you, I'm starting to build up resentment towards you. How am I supposed to like actually care about your needs and care about your wants and want

to do all these freaky things with you? When in reality, you don't even live by your code. You don't even live by your word. When you tell me you're going to pick up so-and-so and you forget, and it's not just once in a while. It's like more regular than not. I started to realize that this trust thing was way bigger than I actually believed it was. And so when the trust goes up, the lust goes up. And so most guys are like, I can't believe my wife doesn't want me. She doesn't want to connect with me.

And I go, well, do you do what you say you're going to do? Well, of course my word is my bond. Yeah. Except it's not. And what I've discovered is that most men are liars. Like they don't, they won't be like, dude, I'm white. When they're like, I'm black. It's not that obvious. It's, it's dude, you said you're going to be home at a certain time. and you weren't like every day this week. Right. And so, um, this particular concept, it also blends well with what we call the mom matrix. The mom matrix is this. Most dudes are doing things to try and get approval and taps on their head from their, from their mom or from their wife. And so the mom matrix is the reason you're doing things is so you can get applause and praise from her, like a cookie or a nookie or a gold star. And so she's like, dude, no moms want to make love to their kids. That's not a thing. You know what I mean?

In any state, in any religion, it's not a thing. So I was like, a lot of guys would be like, yeah, I've got three kids, but my wife says she has four. It's like, that's it. That's an indictment about kind of what a POS you are, man, because she doesn't look at you as the man that keeps his word. So that became like paramount to everything. Now there's a couple other pieces that we work on that is like, do you, do you edit or audit your shine? Meaning do you change your opinion about things because you're afraid of what she's going to think? And then she realizes, Oh, you're basically my dancing bear. You're not trying to upset the apple cart. And for some guys, when they are in a pretty low or sexless relationship, they don't want to upset the apple cart. So they won't even share

their opinion because it's Tuesday and they know that Friday is their one time in the month where they're going to get lucky. And they're like, don't say anything this Tuesday, but you know, you need to say something as a man, but you don't. And she goes, he's weak. He's afraid of me. He doesn't want to say what he really believes. So they edit or audit what they're saying around here, and they talk differently around their guys. Nobody likes that. Nobody respects that. So she loses respect.

They've been rejected so much that they won't ask for it anymore. And if they do ask for it, they get pouty when they get rejected. They start getting, well, if I got more of this around the house, then maybe I would do more around the house. And they're like, oh, back to transaction again. So it's like, do you do your personal development for her? And do you get butthurt if she doesn't notice? Or do you do it for you?

So we have a phrase in Married Game that says, her response does not dictate my standard. My standard is my standard. I'm going to be this guy. I'm going to make this money. I'm going to show up this way. I'm going to be this guy. I'm going to make this money. I'm going to show up this way. I'm going to have this body. I'm going to talk this way because that's the standard I set for myself. And she wants somebody that has a high standard that doesn't deviate based on her moods up or down or what time of the month it is. She's like, that guy's

a solid, we call it being a redwood. Nice, nice. Immovable. I've actually heard it put this way, and it's something that I've shared with a lot of married guys, is just like the goal is to get to 100%, right? And too often we look at it like I've got to bring my 50 and they bring their 50, right? So it's like a 50-50 relationship add up to get to 100, where really the goal should be I've got to bring 100 and not care whether she brings anything. Right?

It's the same thing. For a while. For a time. For a time. But got to be 100. But what I'm saying is like without expectation of reciprocation. Exactly. Because otherwise it's transactional.

I did my 50. Where's your 50 at to get to 100? And if you don't bring your 50, when I brought my 50, then, you know, then we're sitting half full or whatever. So yeah, it's, it's interesting. So what, uh, man, so these are the five, what is, what is the best? I mean, what do you see guys working on first? Okay. Well, so when we call them dials, cause I love rock and roll is why's why I got guitars and all this. So I look at it like think of an amplifier.

If these things are all cranked up to as close as 10 as possible, we call that a man becoming a provocateur. And a provocateur is a man that provokes his wife to want him, to lust after him. It's like she goes, I can't help it. And this is what's crazy. A lot of guys, when they come into our program, within the first week or two, their wives are like, man, I feel like I'm with my boyfriend again. What happened? What's going on here? And so that's what we want. We want to, we want it to be natural for

her to be like, like it was in the beginning. That's what every guy wants. I want it like it was for getting. So we have a thesis and it's something that we believe. We think honeymoon sex is for minor leaguers and that soul sex gets better with age. We just celebrated our 12th anniversary. It was the greatest night her and I have ever had in our entire existence of being married. It was my greatest night I've ever had, even though I've been with a lot of women. That was the number one night ever. Amen. 12 years later. So we believe if we're both getting better, it should get better. Right. So I just reject the narrative that the first two years are the best and then everything goes down from here. What a horribly hopeless existence. So these are like

concepts and frames that we really lean into. Right. And another concept is go spend 90 days cleaning your side of the street. Don't ask for anything. Just go have your street. We call it being above reproach. Be so dang awesome that she's like, I got nothing to say except you're amazing. Get in here. So what do most guys do first? Well first well first of all usually the player and power dial or where they go dang dude my dates suck I have a dude I I'm the guy

that did the Home Depot and the chick-fil-a so they start start amping that up they start another where they started like we need to have giver energy not takeer energy. If you're doing something just to get something, that's a taker energy. Guy or girl, we hate takers. We love givers. So have a reputation with yourself and with others that's a giver. Nice.

That person gives. So that's where I would start. So start from a conscious level of, I'm just in this to give. I don't care what I'm going to receive in response. And, and, and, and have your, I call it the reputation of yourself. What is the reputation? My reputation of myself is I do what I say I'm going to do without fault. Like I'm going to do that. I forgot to bring dinner home the other night. I was at one of my favorite places getting tacos and my wife texts me. She goes, Hey, it home i'm like no problem right i get home they're so excited like do you got it i'm like oh i don't i totally i'll go back they're like no no no don't worry even my daughter's like dad like you never you never forget

stuff like so it was an anomaly it was like they were shocked that i didn't do it and they're like no no problem we'll just order postmates it's not even a big deal i'm like guys i feel horrible they're like well this is like once in like the last 200 times that you said you knew something you didn't do it so they we just like giggled yeah it's still okay to make make mistakes well i'm human like what do you expect you know what i mean and then when they make a mistake i just like that's no problem we're all human so this is this is this is it's such simple stuff man i feel like a lot of times I go, you remember the person that put a rock in a box

and sold it as the pet rock? That's what I feel like I'm doing. It's so dang simple. You're taking the basic principles that most people understand to some level. Yeah. But that's the reality of frameworks, right? Frameworks, when you break down

what are potentially complex issues i mean because because when you're when you're going through something like this it feels complex oh right right like like trying to figure out a wife right yeah you can you can cut the awkwardness in the air or whatever it may be and so you take that complex issue and you dumb it down to something like super basic like this and i I think it's absolutely incredible. Um, I love what you talked about as far as like, in order to make the change, you got to change your identity. Like what you, your self-perception of you, right? Like James clear talks about in atomic habits, the number one motivator in changing a habit is if you change your identity, right? Like it's not that I no longer smoke

it's I'm not a smoker yeah I'm not a that's not that's not who I am and and when you can change your identity you begin to act in accordance to your to who you perceive yourself as yeah yeah how many people have told you you look like Chris Pratt Chris Pratt no no no no yeah I've been getting Pratt. Chris Pratt. I don't know. Not, not many. No, dude, I've been getting Pratt vibes this entire time. Pratt vibes? Yeah, Pratt vibes. I'll take it. I'll take it. That's good. I love it, man. Sweet, man. So awesome. You have this awesome framework. Where's the best way for people to engage with you and start like participating in your program? Books? What, what do you got? Marriedgame.com. Marriedgame.com. If they go to marriedgame.com, there's a 25 minute

video there where i kind of explain and i kind of hit it from different angles uh they'll have the opportunity if they want to jump on i don't have a sales team i do the calls that's just just how i'm i built this thing exactly the way i want to build it and uh uh or at on my instagram we have reels going on probably have 400 reels ready to go that are 90 seconds of just boom, boom, boom, that stuff like this, but are, or crazy stories or to go to the married game podcast and they can consume over a hundred episodes of me and my wife laughing at each other for all the stupid stuff we've done. Well, dude, man, I, this is like very helpful. I think

like, like you said, I mean, this is the message that God has put on in your heart to go and share with the world. And I think, uh, it, it is very applicable. I mean, each one of us, we're all going through it in some level or another. None of us are tens all the time. Yeah. Neither am I. Right. And so it's like figuring out that what, what are some like books or resources that have like inspired you along the way? I love reading, as you can tell by my library. I read every single day. I hate to be this guy, but there's not really, like the books about learning game are usually written for single guys.

So I don't know that one. I'll say one good book. One good book that I recommend everybody in our group is the No More Mr. Nice Guy by Robert Glover. Most guys, they struggle from being a nice guy, which means, I'm not saying don't be nice, but their motivation for being nice is to get something. And that book seems to really hit the angle of why that is. But everything else that's written about this stuff seems to be, it's manipulative and angled. And I don't think that that's good. So I don't really know. I don't really know.

My book's coming out soon that I think is going to hit this angle because I feel very like I'm one to, that I'm going to hit this, uh, angle because there's, I feel very like I'm one of one guys saying it from this angle. So I know that might sound a little, where's the best place to find you on, on Instagram. What's your Instagram handle? At Keith Yackey. At Keith Yackey. Guys, uh, founder nation. If you're not following Keith, give him a follow. This guy's full of incredible knowledge. He's going to improve your sex life, your relationship, make you, what is the name? A provocateur. A provocateur. Man, I want to be a provocateur. Who doesn't want to be a provocateur? Especially since the fruit of

being a provocateur is feel so good. Oh, yes. Oh, man. I think there's nothing better. I mean, the phrase happy wife, happy life is a reality. And to make her happy is, I mean, being that provocateur. Exactly. That's what makes her really happy. Oh, yeah. I love it. I love it.

Sweet. Thank you so much for your time. It's been a freaking phenomenal time just hanging out. Thank you for letting me use your studio and hanging out here in beautiful Orange County. Thanks for having me on the show, man. Like, it's an honor. It's an honor. Anybody that takes an interest in what we're saying, I'm deeply honored and humbled by it.

I love it. What's the last piece of advice that you would give outside of these five things to somebody that is struggling with their relationship? Like, what is, like, some just core piece of advice that you give to them? I would want to give them hope because most guys feel stuck and hopeless. They're like, listen, I don't want to get a divorce. I don't want to split up my family. There's many reasons why people don't want to get a divorce,

whether it's religious or not religious. They're like, dude, I don't want to split up my family. I don't want to go down that road again. But they feel stuck and in prison, and they don't know what to actually do. And I just hope that they would have hope that a guy like me is my story. Who's been through the deepest, darkest pit. I know those tunnels really well. And I hope that they know that they're not alone. That's the other thing is most men think they don't talk about this with their dudes. Cause nobody had like, yeah, I'm not getting, you know what I mean?

It's like 85% of dudes are actually going through this. You're not alone. So I want them to know that you're, you're not alone. You have hope. And, and hopefully this resource and me sharing what I've shared and you sharing and let me share this on your platform. I just want them to have hope. It's, it's not done. It's not over. And there really is a solution to this. I love it. Thank you so much, Keith. Until next time.