NFL Daily with Gregg Rosenthal - ¿Cual es tu fantasia?

Episode Date: July 14, 2017

A room filled with heroes – Dan Hanzus, Marc Sessler, Chris Wesseling, & Gregg Rosenthal – recap all the latest news from around the NFL including Peyton Manning hosting the ESPYs. The heroes then play another edition of "¿Cual es tu fantasia?" or "What is your Fancy?"Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comNFL Daily YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/nflpodcastsSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an I-Heart podcast. The Around the NFL podcast. Acts as a vehicle for Dan's Bits. Welcome back to another edition of the Around the NFL podcast. My name is Dan Hansis and I am joined by a room. Oh yeah, bitch. Filled with heroes. Mark Sessler, Chris Wessling, and Greg Rosenthal.

What's up, boys? Hey, Dan. This is by far The longest we've ever gone Without doing a show with the four of us But we're now The gang is back together At least for one show

That's nice, isn't it? First time together since, what, the recap of Super Bowl 51 It's been ages Well, there was also this Super Bowl 51 preview show We were all together for that, right? No, we weren't all together without you. That's true. It's like one of those bands where now it's like,

I'll tape my bass part in New York and I'll just send it over to you in London. We actually don't hang out at all time. A lot of side projects. We actually didn't see Axel Rose for four years. He would just come in in the middle of the night and lay down vocals and leave. We're at the Guns and Roses Use Your Illusion stage for our career. No, that's not true. But there's a lot of stuff going on.

Wes in his proud fight against the Big Sea. And we're a good point of progress on that, right? Did you kick Little C's ass? Little C's gone, baby. Wow. And maybe I'm not going to say like. It's been two and a half weeks. I'm just going to say, yeah.

If you need someone to look up to, I'm right here. You are an example. No congestion. An example of fortitude and bravery. Really? Yeah, an inspiration. But really, you are now at, you're done with radiation and chemo, West. You rang the bell.

I did. That was kind of a weird thing. Did you know that existed? I didn't hear about this. until about a month ago, but I was looking forward to it. Yeah, people are not aware or didn't, I don't know if you posted that publicly, West, but I guess on the- On my Instagram.

Okay, on the floor where this stuff goes down, there's a bell that you ring when you finish the rounds of chemo and radiation, and you're done with that. That's awesome. Done with that, and my next step is to visit with the surgeon. He'll put me through some tests, find out how much is still left in my body and schedule surgery for, it's looking now like sometime, mid to late August. All right.

I liked when you rang the bell and like a fleet of nurses came out and congratulated you and clapped for you. It was very nice. It's funny because I was on vacation when I finally kicked Little C and no bells, no nurses. And I was like, okay.

That's fine. It was a proud fight, I don't need it. You did it in silence, perhaps, but you were victorious. No one beat a case of the sniffles caused by a hangover better than you. Okay, that's fair. That's fair.

That's the treachery. part about little c you are left to do you're fighting really in a dark corner with nobody watching yeah west has got all this support and you're mocked on top of it that's not right it's not right big c if you really take a step back it's a little bit of a glory be situation little c you're alone you're on your own you grow from it ain't no bell to ring put it that way okay this is ridiculous west we're very happy that you are moving along in a positive direction uh and that you're with us today and we're all together for a show that by the way sponsored or i should say presented by new era uh we had the tuesday show that was of course um our first video show they were going to do a

series of video shows every tuesday and you could track down those video shows i guess somebody on twitter said that we didn't make it clear where to find it which sounds very much like us didn't tweet it out yeah our ultimate goal to remain forever a niche podcast with a cult follow following, we are going right along course right there. I have some information on this. The Paramour and I were listening to Thursdays or Tuesdays podcast on the way to the airport. And Greg mentioned that you could watch the video early in the show. However, he did not mention where one could watch the video.

But you did come back around at the end of the show and say ATM video. That was like a test. Whoever sent me that team maybe did not listen to the entire show. And in that case, you banged. NFL.com slash ATN video will take you to all of our full shows on Tuesdays and then any other stuff that pops up there. Today's show is, it's a pretty good one. I'm very excited about it with the four of us together.

We're going to go through whatever is fit for news or whatever passes for news here in mid to late July. I don't even know what today. July 13th, one day before Bastille Day. There you go. Bastille Day coming right up. and a big spot mark so glad to be back for that with all of you yeah and uh so we'll go through the news and july 13th uh and then uh we'll check in uh i know this this could get a reaction in

this room Peyton manning hosted the espies which i did not watch but i did check out the monologue this morning and wrote about it on the end around i'll play some of his um his best zingers in his 10 minute monologue and we could all chime in how Peyton did uh and then we'll bring the back I mean, if you're going to bring it back, bring it back in mid-July, oh, you know what it is. Qualest do Fantasia. And if you don't know what it is, that's a lot of mystery because how would you, there are no context clues for a new listener to what,

what's do Fantasia is. I mean, unless they spoke the language that we're speaking. But we made up the language, more or less. Well, I went through a Google translator, so it's probably mostly made up, yes. It's got to be accurate. All right. So, but before we get into the end, we'll get a satellite hero on the horn that we haven't heard from in a while. So a very good show.

I'm excited. Say hello to Sully behind the glass. Fellas. Hey, buddy. Pre-show grade. I got to go with an A, personal. You are not authorized to get a pre-show grade. It's not how it works, though.

Yeah, I know, no, personally, but I was going to ask, Dan, what's your pre-show grade? You've been on the edge of being admonished and told to, you know, all right, let's pipe down a little bit, Sally. I think this is where now you've gone over the line. That's fine. I was giving my own opinion, whether or was asked for or not. But I was going to ask Dan, what is your pre-show grade? Well, it's funny you should ask that, Sully. Because a lot of times, oh, Dan always says the same thing.

But with the four of us all together for the first time in a month and some fun things to talk about, and back from vacation, kick the little C, big C's in trouble and big trouble over to my left. I mean, an obvious B-minus. Let's do some news. touchdown on play number one Peyton Manning Ah, Peyton Manning Yes, we'll get to Peyton a little bit later

And let's talk Oh, let's talk a little Sam Darnold You guys know this guy? You guys know Sam later? Yeah. It feels unnecessary, but I got you. Anyway, he was on the...

Not a member of the Jets. No, he's not a member of the Jets. He's not declared for the NFL draft. He is in my wildest of fever dreams. A 14-year starter for the Jets, that's a massive star that takes me out of permanent despair. But there's a lot of things that have to happen to go that way. First of all, right off the top,

I don't think... I don't know if you guys talked about it when I was away last one, week but Daniel Jeremiah oh we did oh you get moved the sticks maybe um you know he talked to someone that says it could be two years before uh Donald comes out I'm not going to be ignored then and uh Donald actually disputed that report on ESPN he was on the six very hip very contemporary version of sports sports center I don't know if you watch the six what channel is it on oh yeah sports center bro no the six is it on ESPN ESPN ESPN just regular sports center They've rebranded their 6 p.m. Sports Center as the six.

Oh, well, now I'll watch it. With that kind of rebranded. With what's her name and what's his name? Oh, how dare you? Jamel Hill, Michael Smith. Thank you. I mean, who's watching Sports Center at 6 p.m. Who's watching anything by the point?

Anyway, so Donald, he disputed the report from Jeremiah, which I'm not even going to touch. But he said that that's not the case. What the report was is that it wouldn't be surprised if Donald played two more seasons at U.S. Donald said that's not the case and he isn't certain of anything yet and questioned who those supposed sources are Marron I'll stay out of it again

but then he was asked what his plans are and he went with the athlete cliche thing one day to time one game at a time anyway and then he was asked about does he believe that the Jets or any team should attempt to purposely lose games in order to better

their chances of drafting him the hashtag scam for Sam and he replied I don't think any team should tank their season because of me I disagree It's essentially what Peyton Manning did before he was drafted

Remember he went back to school Oh I remember Mark My team went one in 15 the previous season The Jets who lost out Yeah and if it happened again Might be following some paperwork In the Chris Wesleying school of sports fandom I mean, he didn't really dispute this either.

He just said he's taking it year by year, which to Daniel's reporting and point was that don't consider it a lock. Did you call DJ Daniel? You're like the first person to ever do that. That's what they do on TV. They call him Daniel. Oh, because you're in TV. No.

Are you? Wait a second. Are you? Is that NFL Network's Greg Rosenfold? I don't know. Did you sound of friend? Yeah. Well, not be him then.

He reported that, you know, it wouldn't be a surprise based on what he knows if he stays for two years. And Donald didn't dispute that. He said he's taking it year by year. It has been kind of assumed for no reason at all that, of course, this guy's A is going to be the number one overall pick. And then B will actually want to come out when you really have no idea. He's a young kid. He's a redshirt sophomore. Who knows what he is.

Something is going to go wrong. Or just he wants to stay in school. Why not? Well, that's something going wrong for the Jets. The chances that it actually works out for the Jets are negative in negative digits. I know that. I'm aware that nothing ever works out, especially something with this many levers need to be thrown

and the wheels have to turn in all the certain directions. Somehow the cults will end up with him and they'll put him on like a seven-year starting plan or something. I understand that. You can't, for better or worse, you can't. For better or worst, you can't pre-plan your season in May and June. The way that this has been outlined, like the Jets automatically. They're going to watch them be surprisingly, annoyingly, mediocre and go like 6 and 10. Even if that's how they lost that of Marcus Marieto.

They do that a lot as well. Anyway, we'll see. And by the way, the whole thing, two years maybe will be, uh, Jets will still be in good position probably that as well. So moving on. Hey, Bruce Ariens, good to hear. Speaking of the Big C, he had a spot, a cancerous spot of some time. of some kind of his kidney in February, and they went in there and they removed that.

Good to hear that Bruce. And it actually, you know, we talked about in this pot a lot, that he just didn't seem like himself. And it turns out that he, in addition to having chest pains, and we had that incident, he was diagnosed with this near the end of the season and coached through it and obviously wasn't himself. Hopefully we'll get the old Bruce Ariens this year. Well, I wonder what he'd have to say about what you went through with the hangover that delved into a slight cold.

but where you're right, I think we could tell that the energy and the whole team's energy is a reflection of Ariens the previous season that it kind of just didn't seem the same last year. A slight cold feels like a bit of an understatement. But anyway, Ariens was on Good Morning Football on Wednesday and he shared a story about drinking paint as a kid. I'm happy Bruce Ariens is alive after hearing this story. Take it away, GMFB.

I was allergic to milk as a child And my older brother would always get a big glass And drink it in front of me all the time And dad was painting the kitchen One day And I saw that big, creamy white bucket And just grabbed it and started drinking it And that is grit person

I'm going to have some milk So long did you eat paint chips as a kid He's like, yeah, quite a hatchet again I actually literally ate paint as a kid That's incredible, Bruce I actually got out of a terrible job in 1993 the year I came back from

a freshman year of high school this one of the typical college person house painting jobs you get and I was awful and the first within the first week I was paired up with this gigantic like football Biameth guy

and we put a ladder through an old woman's gigantic window that shattered all over her living room and then we poured a white can of paint on this woman's roof which like For years later, she'll still show to a terrible stain. And so I had to get out of this job. And I went back in the woods and sampled oil paints because they had been giving me allergies.

And I was like, if I have a big scoop of oil paint, I will definitely get sick and have a legit excuse to not paint again all year. And it went perfectly. Wow. Got out of the job. Very smart. Very cunning, Mark. You've always been a very wily man or boy in that case. You know, not to bring it back to, you know, the world of football or anything.

No, don't do that. I noticed some real implications in what Bruce wrote in his book. I mean, the quote that he wrote was, now I feel great, my energy has returned. I told him, I'm told him cancer free again. I'm ready for at least one more season of NFL football, maybe more. And that's something that he put in his book. That certainly sounds like a guy who's thinking about the end. This is a coach who in just the last, this is his third cancer scare of some sort.

Just in the last eight months, he had a problem with his digestive tract. He had chest pains. And he also writes that he now realized nothing is guaranteed in life that you need to enjoy it. You need to celebrate your life to the fullest. And he's saying, you know, maybe I'll coach more than one year. It does sound like a guy who's at least thinking about maybe my coaching career is kind of winding out. This could be the swan song for Bruce Ariens, Carson Palmer, Larry Fitzgerald, all in the same season, which, you know, when I think about that, we're casting a pretty wide net for a team of ATNFL. And when I hear this quote, I want to be a beacon of hope for other struggling with cancer.

My fight is their fight. I'm not coaching for myself in 2017. I'm coaching for everyone who's dealing with cancer. This is my charge. That's almost like he's aiming directly. That was almost a message to us. hey come back to the cards it's a wide open I feel good about the team of ATL this year because I feel like there's some really good teams to choose from and it seems like

we're we're on the same page with several of them today we are today we are it's going to get very thorny I predict I think it might be one of those I think it might be the first season though that we choose to pick the team before the season starts which I always thought that's how we should do it There's some good strong. There's some good strong. Well, what happened to our pick a team out of the hat scenario and ride or die with, you know.

It's a little bit different, a little bit cowardly. Like most off-season shows, I forgot that happened. But that's a good point. Hey, let's move on to the throne of ease. This is according to a report from the AP. That's the Associated Press, an exclusive club in the Tony Town. Tony Town. Tony?

It's a very nice town. A toni town. A fluent. Tony. Tony. Where Tom Brady and Giselle Bunchen live has finally admitted

the celebrity couple. The Boston Gold had reported the the country club. That's what's actually called, which is so Tom Brady that the country club he would be in is called the country club. In Brookline,

a leithy and a fluent Boston suburb, I'm sure. Greg, you know it well. Quietly approved the membership for the New England Patriots star quarterback and his Superbottle. model wife, Wes, you know that I am all about a Robin Hood. I'm a Robin Hood figure in this building in a lot of ways.

When did it graduate from Coldtown to Robin Hood? Well, all the wars that I go through in the parking lot. Oh, yeah, that's true. You are a man of the people when it comes to fighting the parking lot wars. Or your own parking space. You're in the exclusive area. Wes, you are from West Cincinnati, born and raised. and how about this little anecdote here, this little story.

Their application, Brady & Bunchett's application languished for two years, while other members of the country club debated whether the couple might be a little too high profile for the privacy-minded club founded in 1882 on Chestnut Hill. I don't understand how these clubs work, so I don't know. I didn't know high-profile was a bad thing for these clubs. I assume that they would grandfather Tom Brady and his supermodel wife in just for the publicity. But I guess if you're a country club, you don't want publicity. You don't want to be as exclusive as possible.

Brookline is where JFK and his family grew up. And I'm sure the Kennedys probably belonged to this club if it's been open that long too. All these people in the country club are obnoxious for the most part. I mean, the fact that they're just these country clubs in general are obnoxious. They're on my radar a little bit more because Malcolm, And Gladwell, he's got a... This is your boy. I was just about to bring it up.

Great podcast. And his first episode this season was about all of the ways that the country club owners, you know, in Los Angeles, basically steal taxpayer money through, you know, politics. Fricking Bob Hope. And take up all of this space when there's no park. It's like enough with your country clubs. Let's take them. The idea was basically let's take down the country clubs. He was specifically talking about golf courses, but part of country clubs.

I can't imagine a room full of people I'd less want to hang out with than like a country club full of, like, self-satisfied egomaniacs. No, it doesn't seem like you're crowded. I worked at a couple of country clubs. I'm sure you did. In the bag room, in the bag room, at clean clubs. What was JFK Jr. like? All right.

You worked in the bag room. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt you. No, no, that's all. You were, you used to be, you were a cat. all through your team i mean i stopped talking because when you said what was he like i wanted to say dead but then i thought that's been he's deceased he has passed away tragic plane crash in 1999 um now you know where he crashed don't you the vineyard all right finally in the news uh megatron you remember him don't you oh yeah great player

as I pull up the story. He retired at a young age. I believe he was in his early 30s, one of the great wide receivers, of course, of his generation, I believe, anyway, that he's a Hall of Famer, no doubt about it. But the fact that he retired early, that could affect his status. He was 30 years old when he walked away, and he spoke out about why he decided not to come back to the Lions

for another season, and this was a, he told the Italian media this. Why does the Italian media care about? Love that good scoop. What a scoop. Yeah, anyway, good scoopage from the Italian media. Anyway, he said this, and the Detroit News picked it up. I was stuck in my contract with Detroit, and they told me they would not release my contract, so I would have to come back to them.

I didn't see the chance for them to win a Super Bowl at the time, and for the work I was putting in, it wasn't worth my time to keep on beating. my head against the wall and not going anywhere. It's the definition of insanity. He wanted to win it, but he just didn't see that opportunity. Obviously, in reference to playing with the Lions who have never won a Super Bowl. And this feels like the perfect time to bring back, you know, he is a man that is plugged into Lions culture.

He is our heartland correspondent in a lot of ways. and he's also got a sick body. Kevin Patrick, coming at you, baby. What's going on, fellas? Long time, long time. Too long. Miss you, buddy.

What's going on, Patrick? Before we get into this Lions business, what's going on? How's your bod? Oh, you know, still working on it. Still working on it. Got a lot to do every day. Different venture every day, Dan.

We've been talking about this long enough that I know based on the calendar exactly where you are. Right now you're about cutting weight because of the beach situation, not about bulk or mass. It's more about cutting up, getting that six-pack-slash-eight-pack, that V. Like, if you've got a really hot bod, I don't know anything about this. You can get the V that points down toward your genital region.

I can't, but others can. How's that going? How's your vicious V? My vicious V is on the rise. Coach Sessler's got me working hard. Yeah, Patron and I discuss this daily. guy is a grinder he's a hard worker is he is he would you if you had to make an all-star team of or like a first-team all-pro beach body is patcha a first team all-pro absolutely he's been that he's

been that you know first team all-pro body individual although west you you might have different words than i would on that i think patrick probably outweighs me at this point oh finally yeah but that's you know damning of faint praise yeah i i have no room to talk about patrick's body anymore. Are you going to pile on on that, Patra? But that was a little bit, that was a sneaky shot that he was basically saying it took cancer for you to pass him. It's true.

I'm going to let that one fly. All right, Kevin Patcher. So there you go. You know the story. Hell, you wrote the damn thing on NFL.com. You're around the NFL page. As a Lions fan, a long-suffering Lions fan, and Calvin Johnson was really the face of the franchise in a lot of ways, the biggest face of the franchise since Barry Sanders, you could argue.

Did it sting you at all? Were you annoyed at all that this was the reasoning behind Megatron walking away? Well, when I first read his quotes, my initial thought was like, no shit. Like, of course it was more than just the injuries. The guy was still playing at a peak level, even though he was banged up, and he cited that, you know, his hand was hurt, and he had, you know, concussion issues in the past. But, I mean, there's always, there was always something with the lions where the losing will grind you just as much as the injury. If they were a winning team consistently over the course of his career, it would be different.

If they were close to a Super Bowl, which he says he didn't see it, then it would be different. Maybe he would have hung on a year or two more. So I think any time the player retires before obvious injuries or obvious decline happens, there's always more than just, oh, my hand was hurting and I've had surgeries and I want to hang it up. There's always more to the story than that. So this is just him at this point, just coming clean with what I think most of us knew and being honest about the situation. It took him to go to Italy to be honest about it. But I think this is finally, you're hearing it from his mouth,

what I think most Lions fans believe to be true from the day he said he was leaving. I thought the criticism of him that came with this story was unfair. He could have blasted the Lions on his way out. He waited 16 months. He's not blasted him either. He's just be honest. All he did was answer a question. And what he said wasn't even that bad.

It was understandable. Totally understandable. It's totally understandable. It's also worth noting he said a year ago at this time that he had decided he was going to retire before the 2016 season even started, 2015 season even started, which sort of doesn't add up with this story. So I don't know. Who knows? This is also a guy that, like, did it alone for the Lions on offense for so long.

long while playing through a host of injury. Right. I would say, I mean, I think it, to rebutt Greg's point that it doesn't add up, I think years of losing and years of being mediocre do add up. I think it's probably something that grounded on him for years and years and years. And then you see Indomac and Sue walk out the door. Yeah, yeah. You see your best defensive player.

They lost that in that terrible way to the Cowboys, and he was probably like, we basically lost our defense. we're not getting any better on offense. I mean, I'll give it one more year, and then unless something dramatic happens, I'm gone. I think that actually this saying that he didn't see the way to the Super Bowl makes more sense in the storyline if he decided before, after they lost that playoff game to the Cowboys,

that he just didn't see even if they had won that game that they were going to go much further. I mean, he's only 31 years old right now. I mean, he is the same age as a lot of the not too far off from some of the top. wide receivers and leagues. I'm sure he'll tell some, like, Sicilian reporter that he's signing with a Patriots a couple weeks. Well, I think part of it has to do with why he's comfortable talking about this now in a very blunt

manner is there was the report that the Lions made him pay back millions of dollars, and he wasn't too happy about that, and it kind of peeved him off, but now he doesn't have anything to hold back. He's like, well, I'm going to tell you the real reason now, because if they're going to make me do this, then I have nothing to hold it against you. And maybe a lot of Lions fans are upset about it. I'm not upset with what he said or how he said it. Personally, I can understand it.

I can understand why a player will get frustrated with that. But I think that has to do with it. He doesn't worry about his reputation among the Lions anymore. I think it begs one interesting question. If you don't pull for the players and you don't pull for the teams, if you just pull for the sport and what's good for the sport, you kind of like the franchise tag because it prevents super teams. It prevents teams that aren't high profile from being drained,

but is it good for the sport if one of the best players in the game feels like he has to walk away because his options aren't there? Because his only option is to play for the Lions, they hold all the cards. All right. The other point to make there is he walked away, and the Lions, I know they were not a good team, really, but they were in the playoffs. So if you get in the dance, isn't that all he ever really wanted to do is be a guy playing the playoffs? He walked away from a team that still had a great quarterback.

quarterback or good to great quarterback. Isn't to the dance is not nearly the same as being a Super Bowl contender. The Lions got to the dance last year and had no business in it. Well, by the way, he wasn't volunteering his services. He was paid extremely well to do what he did. I mean, winning team or not. If anything, it shows integrity. I was really surprised that he got blowback for this.

I mean, it shows some integrity that you're not fully in it, that you're a guy who really just wants to win at this point of his career. And if you're not fully in it, then you don't play. And, all right, finally, before we let you go, Patrick, you know, you're engaged. Yes, sir. Is that still happening? Yes, that's still happening. She's planning a lot of things.

I'm nodding my head along. Can you share the date with us, the wedding date? I'll tell you it's next May. Next May. Are we invited, all of us, including Sully? Absolutely not. That's fair. Hey, thanks for, thanks for adding me in on that end of that.

I applaud that. I applaud that honesty. Now, a lot of people, you know, building towards beach season, it's a nice marker to have your body tight and right. But a lot of people know if you've been married, that wedding day is a really good way for motivation. I would think to quote the great another Chicago legend like Kevin Patra, Michael Jordan, the ceiling is the roof with Patrick's body with his wedding day about nine months away now.

I mean, all bets are off, I think, with that hot pot. Yeah, we're going to, we're probably going to do. left bulking in the winter months, probably a little more two days to make sure it's slim down. I'm not joking, though, actually. You know, we talked about the JJ Walk collection, Patrick. It would be good. I'll just throw something out there.

If you get real yoked, I'm talking, you know, Rocky in like the second Rambo type yoke, lose the suit sleeves entirely and just have the guns out. Like that? The altar. Now, should I have somebody ripped? them off so they're more like authentically gone yeah like you cut them oh that's that's such a good call what you have you come up to the down the aisle in the customary suit oh and then you have uh your best man that would be dan yeah obviously me in this case i you know once you you turn around

invited this is even before when the let the bride come out too sure sure and then but you tell the the priest or the pastor or the rabbi uh hold up you step in front of your bride you hold your arms out and then you have your best man and your dad or your brother or something rip off each sleeve and then you flex and you have the church organists go into like i don't know i had a tiger you have the champions i have the tiger oh he's a good idea upstage the bride oh dmx dmx i'll pitch that to the fiancee and i will let you know her response all right good Kevin the day is about your arms and the size of your arms that's really what the day is about yes she'll understand so she'll understand you put

the work in. All right. Kevin Patra. Good to hear from you, buddy. Thanks, fellas. Have a great day. Yeah, I like a little cheery, Kevin Patrick.

That's curmudgeonly, the offseason, I guess. Oh, he's a different guy since this woman came into his life. You know, he's smiling in pictures. He's happy. Well, you should say, an absolute workhorse.

The time off that we, you know, several of us have had in the studio, he's pumping the lifeblood through that website. Yeah. And then he's going to the gym. Anyway, let's move on. New eras. NFL training collection has a great combination of innovative performance and style

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Before this podcast hits hour four, let's move on real quick and talk about the Espies. I have not watched this program. Probably ever. I don't think I've ever actually watched Espies. I think it's kind of in practice a ridiculous show.

The awards like, Most Courageous Slam Dunk goes two. It's like what? What are you doing? It's tough too. I mean, like you're a, if you're a Patriots fan like me, it's like you're coming off this high of the Super Bowl championship and then you lose

best championship team and it's like it didn't even matter. You have, took the out. You have struggled, Craig. That is a struggle. They gave it to the Warriors. Best championship team. Which is absurd. I mean, so much for the Patriots. Not a good season. Not a good

enough. That's rough. I'm sorry, I didn't even know that. It makes it so at least there's another mountain to climb. Anyway, Peyton Manning was the host of the 25th annual SBs. How about that? And I just want to share real quick. I wrote about this on the end around some of his, some of his zingers, NFL-related zingers. Sally, let's just go through him, the first one, about the Los Angeles Rams.

Last year's L.A. Rams are the subject of the critically acclaimed docu-series all or nothing. Spoiler, it's nothing. Pretty good. No, he didn't write that, but it's fine. Sully clipped out the applause and laughter. It's a shot against Peyton there. Tennessee guy. No, no, no, no.

How dare you cut out the candle after? Did you like that, Wes? No, he's one of the most unfunny athletes I've ever heard. I am with Wes on this, but let's get you know. You could not be unfunnier. How about stabbing the Rams in the back? Didn't they try to sign Peyton Manning last year? Oh, shocker.

Sully thinks a guy from Tennessee is funny. I also... I also kind of like the fact that you think Peyton Manning wrote these. That's cute. I mean, his delivery is terrible. Let's check out this delivery, Wes. But I'm telling you, I believe in the Falcons. I believe in Matt Ryan, Dan Quinn.

And I know in my heart, the Falcons will be back, right? Falcons will be back. That's buildup. Anthony Jesselman, same thing. The buildup, Greg, as you know. And I want the Falcons to hear that from me now at the beginning of the show, because I know they'll stop paying attention three quarters of the way in. Oh, no, he's been it.

It's slightly tired, but. And then they cut to poor Devanta Freeman, literally dying inside with a smile. Tough. What else do we got? Phil Jackson's Knicks are the most embarrassing things. to happen in New York sports. And that includes the time Mark Sanchez

ran full steam up his teammates' anus and fumbled a football. You want to talk about? Tired. I mean, that's, so now here's the problem is if he didn't write this and we assume he didn't, that some joke author in L.A. wrote this for him. That's where the embarrassed

was. Some person, his job is to come up with these wise cracks and these quips, came up with that. The joke is that Peyton Manning said the word anus. that's the joke and and not for nothing you know you're mocking poor mark sanchise of the jets was he there no he wasn't the jets you know went into indianapolis and beat paint manning in the playoffs once this guy that you you you find it okay to rip in front of literally hundreds of people watching at home let's listen one more and i love the serena williams won the australian open while carrying a child

Got a problem with that was? I mean, that's even more impressive than two years ago when the Denver Broncos defense won the Super Bowl while carrying meat. I mean... Come on. Solly cuts out the applause and laughter. It hurts the actual punchline. It feels a little death-like, but yeah.

Saw that one coming. Here's what's going on. We know Peyton Manning's M.O. He's not the most naturally gifted guy in the world, so he works his butt off. But comedy is something you either. naturally are or you aren't and he works so hard to try to be funny and it just doesn't work he's putting in the time and it's not paying all they said they can't say that was funny they said john mayer couldn't make it in comedy either then what happened i'm with west on

this one you got a grade on a scale for an athlete he's good no he's not this is what i'm terrible that because he's an athlete he's treated like he's that that he's some sort of comedic genius because he's a football there. It's always always commercials. Oh, I just can't get enough of this commercial. There are plenty of funny athletes and then there's Peyton Manning who would be rejected as an uncle in my house for his humor. Who are the funny athletes? Who are the funny athletes that have been on S&L and done a good job? Who beats him? Why do you have to be on Essend? Why do you be on some corporate mandated show to be funny? Can you just listen to it? I don't know. The average Joe up the street, any offensive lineman, everybody?

Any offensive line? When you are, when you are taking comedy and making things unfunny, everybody beats you. Like keeping your mouth shut would be beating him. Save this for the Chris Wesleyan, serious about comedy podcast. Yeah. I've spoken to Marcus Gannon. He's not funnier than Baton Manning. That guy is serious.

Everybody calmed down. You said offensive lineman. Everybody calmed down about Joe Thomas. Joe Thomas can pipe down on Twitter a little bit. He is, I will say this. He is naturally funnier than Peyton Manning. By the way, that's not a high bar. We found one.

Wow. One offensive linemen. Good job. So, calm down. Just, you went to Tennessee. like 30 years ago. Yeah, that's true. All right, finally, moving on.

I'm not a huge Peyton Manning comedy fan. But I think, Wes, you have it out for all the Manning brothers. You even hate Cooper Manning. I know that personally. You've told me privately on Boozy Nights. I have no opinion on Cooper Manning.

Peyton Manning, one of the greatest quarterbacks and football players of all time, also one of the least funny human beings on the planet. He'll take a fair tradeoff. You can't be both. He's got it all. To me, anyway.

but opinions vary. That's why it's good to have all the four horsemen back together. So we could be arguing about a Manning brother once in. That's why this show exists mostly. Finally today, oh, it's time to bring it back. You know what it is. It's time for Qualistu Fantasia, which loosely, Mark, translates to...

What is your fantasy? Yeah. I thought it was what's your fancy. It's fancy. What's your fancy? Yeah, what is your fancy? I thought it was fantasy. A lot of people think we put

What's Your Fancy into a Google translation and it came out as such. Faults to Fantasia. So people are confused by it. But basically this is a scenario where each of us will throw out a kind of like a fantastical storyline or proposition

and then each of us have to think about it. What is your fancy with this story? Where do you come down? How would you handle it? Mark, we always have to start with you. So why don't you get us going? A little Quastual Fantasia. All right. The future of the NFL rests in your hands. It was the saxback? I guess it is. You must choose one of the following options to shift the look

of pro football forever. Option one, you have the choice to immediately expand the league by adding eight new teams giving us 40 clubs total. These eight teams would satisfy the NFL's mandate for a grand international presence with new franchises in London, Berlin, The Hague, the Netherlands, Mexico City, Paris, Bangladesh, Costa Rica, and Moscow. Naturally, this would require adding another 500-plus players to the league and two brand-new divisions. The schedule would balloon to 18 games over 20 weeks with primetime affairs being up to six nights a week to accommodate team travel for a league aiming to become the biggest sport on planet Earth. Or, option two.

contraction. You must eliminate eight teams of your choice, reducing the NFL to 24 franchises across two conferences. No talk of expansion for another 20 years. While this might sound like something you'd immediately dismiss, it would give football fans fewer teams stocked with far more talent and no riff-waffe. Solid quarterback play and roster depth from team to team with a playoff system that seats the entire conference instead of handing fans some eight-and-eight divisional winning stink bomb qualis to Fantasia. Good question. It's a good one, Mark.

That's a great one. I'll get us going here. I think both instances ruin the NFL. They're both extreme. Yeah. The one where you contract the teams makes the league maybe better from a competition angle, but it ruins the NFL in which, in the sense that you rip the hearts out of a full quarter of the fan bases in the league. and both from a PR angle

and just from a decency angle that just it wouldn't fly and I personally and maybe they would eliminate the other New York team which certainly wouldn't be the Giants I would never come back to the NFL if they just rip my team way

in the search for some type of better league and the other one yeah just think how sloppy the football would be they got all the games thinking of the injuries think about the travel issues what's your answer if I had to choose one I guess I guess I would do the contraction route but I don't think I could watch an NFL that, you know, had such disdain for their customers.

It's an interesting scenario. I would definitely not do the eight new teams. I don't want to see a watered down NFL. The idea is to make the games better, not worse. Contraction, I would choose that if I had to. And I would be willing to sacrifice the Bengals, you know, I would throw them in right off the bat as it seemed to contract. But I think you would run into many political hurdles in this scenario with the monopoly scenario. Oh, yeah.

You would have new leagues popping up, and I believe politicians, especially in the cities getting contracted, would push for those new leagues to work, and the NFL would have competition. Yeah, ultimately, I agree with everything, Dan and West said, and I would probably go with contraction as the lesser of two evils. I don't think it would be devastating to all those cities. You know, sports leagues rise and contract. This is what happens. This league is, you know, used to rise and contract, you know, way back in the day.

You know, there's relegation, obviously, in Europe. I don't think it would necessarily kill the popularity of the sport. I would hate to see it, though. But I definitely, you know, don't want to be covering the old Bangladesh Bengals four in the morning on a Wednesday. But Cincinnati's, well, Cincinnati's still in the league. What's the market for NFL football in Bangladesh? It's going to be massive, according to this NFL world.

They're going to go because this Chargers and the small stadium thing is going to be a big hit. They're going to play for like 40 people in Bangladesh. Like a little tiny arena for 40 people. Would they be playing with real Bengal Tigers? Everything's out. Everything's on the table. By the way, you know who would own the Moscow NFL team, right? Because the guy already tried to own the bills.

Who's that? Who? Oh, Trump. Number 45. Oh, I thought you meant Putin. He's already got a Super Bowl ring. That's true. So keep that in mind as well, if you want to go that route.

All right, Wes, you're up. In the news today, questions started by Pro Football Focus. Who would you start your franchise with? And Elliott Shore Parks of NJ.com took it in another direction. He said he would not take any non-quarterback over Carrey. Carson Wentz. Qualist two fantagia.

Start your franchise with Carson Wentz or any non-quarterback in the NFL. What? What's an interesting question? Any non-quarterback? JJ Watt, Aaron Donald, LeBion Bell, Adelbeckon, Julio Jones. Or Carson Wentz?

Or Carson Wentz. It's the most important position in sports. Am I missing something here? Is Carson once proven to us that he's a guy that you... We have not seen enough. We've not seen enough. Well, he, or has Sam Darnold. You know, the writer who posited that certainly must believe

Carson Wentz is the top 10 quarterback. And so then it's not that crazy because would you, you know, would you rather have Philip Rivers at, you know, age 28 or whatever? But wouldn't you want to have some proof that that's actually the case rather than a gut feeling based on a couple good quarters of game tape? I think you've won at least half a season to know that his wonky mechanics have been straightened out. In this world, I don't know how you acquire quarterbacks, what kind of team it is.

But, yeah, I would take the field. I would take, you know, Julio Jones or J.J. Watt. What is it going to say? I would, too, because if we're talking about an expansion team, it's going to take, with most of these expansion teams, it's going to take half a decade for them to become not a fluky winner, but a consistent winner. And you're going to have time to get your quarterback, but I'd want to put them in a better situation when that guy arrives.

Yeah, this is kind of an offshoot, but who would be the guy you would take? For me, you would probably come down between David Johnson and Julio Jones. Maybe Julio just because the way the league's going. I think considering age, I would take Odell Beckham over Julio Jones, but I could see why you would take Julio. Beckham's insane. That's the only thing that holds me back, maybe going his direction. It's also a Hall of Famer.

Yeah. Mike O'Anonio Brown. He's 30, I believe. That's a little old. Well, that's why I'm not a gentleman. That's not crazy. If it was Watt, like a year ago before the surgeries, then I would have said Watt.

Yeah, the back surgery. Donald is in the mix. Love you, um, Bell. Yep. A lot of options. A lot of options. All right, let's move on now. The old Zusser will throw one out there.

That's me. You are new Cleveland Brown's defensive coordinator Greg Williams. During the course of your controversial career, you have gained a reputation as a no-nonsense hothead who demands results from his players at the risk of hellacious verbal lashings. You're also one of the central figures in the Bounty Gate scandal, the forgotten off-season scandal, that, in our opinion, at least, trounced to flake gate and bully gate

in terms of general intrigue and entertainment value. That's a little aside. Let's be like people sleeping a little bit on how wild Bounty Gate was. You're right. I'm not looking back at it wistfully, but if I had to choose one to cover exhaustively for months, That would be, to me, in the power rankings number one. I digress. It was a strange one.

Bountygate nearly ended your career, but now you are down to your last chance as a D.C. In Cleveland, and you know bringing back the pain for pay bookkeeping will take Cleveland out of the cellar and back to the playoffs. In fact, you know it. You know it thanks to a premonition in a dream. 11 and 5, AFC North champion. Playoff future unknown. It's basically the dream was after clinching. The AFC North in Week 17, all of a sudden, prospects to be a head coach.

Everything is in play. The risk is obvious. If you get caught for a second time for bounty work, the public fallout will be atomic, and your career in football will almost certainly be finished. Qualist to Fantasia. Have you guys been capping yours with Calls to Fantasia? I attempted to. Okay, good.

Oh, I know what I would say, because he's 58 years old, and he's already been, his reputation. is heavily marred whether people want to remember that whole incident or not. And I don't think he's the only coach in the league that's pushed for aggressive type play. But that went beyond the pale entirely. And I would say you don't do it because we live in an age where you're not going to get through a season where out these young players are going to say, we've heard about this too. We're not going to be a part of this. And secondly, someone's going to talk. You're never going to get, this is not in 1962. Someone's going to talk.

got out last time, he'll get out much quicker this time, and Greg Williams will go down in disgrace. He's going to live for another 25, 30 plus years and has to live with that, just to go 11 and 5? No. I agree. He's going to want to earn some money for the rest of his life, and he is great proof that it's hard to lose your job, that you're always fine to find a friend or someone that believes in him. Maybe he's not a coordinator, but maybe he's a linebacker's coach somewhere. I don't think it's going to happen, and I don't think they've really learned that much from it. I remember in all or nothing, and with the Rams, there's one moment where the official tells the Rams

to stop, you know, pushing a little bit after the play. And you know what Jeff Fisher does? He goes to his players. He goes, oh, the officials just warn me about it. I want you guys to go harder at them. And they're like, yeah. Fisher said that? Yeah, Fisher said that.

I was like, they don't care. All right. If I'm Greg Williams, I'm thinking to myself, it's not too late to become a better person. Greg Rosenthal, another 60% G here. You're up. All right. I went back and listened.

an old show of ours, by the way, from two years ago, to remember what Qualus Tufantéja was, like whether it was either or. It was some interesting stuff. There was a Tom Brady trade to the Raiders on the table. We all mocked Reggie McKenzie as someone who would never have a job in the NFL again. West did not take Tom Brady, did not want him on the Raiders. Smart bit.

So in that same vein. So I kept Derek Carr? Car wasn't even involved. You didn't even have to give up car. That's probably thinking of Tomb. You were thinking Matt Schwab. You are Arizona Cardinals General Manager

or Steve Kime And you get on the phone You're actually Bill to check and you get a call from Steve Kime. You've lost Carson Palmer for the season to another devastating knee injury. You call up your bill

and you get this call from old Kimebomb And here's the offer for you. They don't want to waste Bruce Aryan's potential last year. They want to plan ahead a little bit. They're going to send you a 2018 first round pick from the Cardinals, a 2019 first round pick for the Cardinals, and Larry Fitzgerald in exchange for young Jimmy Garoppolo, who can provide the Arizona Cardinals with some sort of future.

And oh, by the way, you know, you've got so many receivers. Just throw in Malcolm Mitchell for me. Well, you do. Send him back. Set him back. Little Malcolm Mitchell. Qualist to Fantasia. Here's the thing.

The Patriots obviously believe in Garapola. They believe he is a guy, or else they would have traded and ready. They're trying to figure the situation out. They're handling it, I think, the right way. And if they truly believe he is a big-time player, and if they send him to a team like Arizona, which is very close to being right back in contention of some things, things go the right way. If they got two number one picks, is that what you said?

Two number one picks and Fitzgerald. Those can easily end up being 28, 29, 30, 31, 32 overall picks. And then it's like not that sexy to me. It's not like you're getting a banger of a first round pick. So for that reason, I say no, because Garapolo, you think is good. And if he goes to Arizona, they're going to be great. This was an easy one for me. Turn it down. As much as I want to see Larry Fitzgerald in a championship ring and as much if I'm Belichick, he's been one of my favorite players, I don't need him. I'm winning Super Bowls without Larry Fitzgerald. I got Brandon Cooks.

I got Julian Edelman. I got Amandola. I've got Malcolm Mitchell. I don't need Larry Fitzgerald. And I don't need your draft picks either. I need a backup quarterback in case my quarterback goes down. Because I'm in the business of winning Super Bowls not building pretty rosters. I'm with you.

I think the moment to get a King's ransom for Jimmy G already passed. I mean, you could let the Cardinals call you back two days later with a sweeter offer if they want. But do what keep doing what you've done. own that situation and they're going to keep Jimmy Gropolo around and he's going to succeed Tom Brady and maybe Belichick's coaches for another eight or nine years. Mark. All right, well, this does get into similar territory. It's something that Greg mentioned, but why not?

We will go for it. Spent a few weeks into the future, the date is July 24th, 2017. We are all locked in for another season of work, but you are Bill Belichick. Right now, you're bunkered inside the Patriots facility. eating a two-week-old turkey club and pondering the day's most devastating headline. Jimmy Garapolo has just announced his retirement, choosing to ditch football to join a clandestine yoga retreat in central Virginia. It's amazing.

You're also thinking about the text you just received from Bill Parcells. It reads, Sorry to hear about Jimmy G. This is off topic, but I need you to know something. There were always two Bill Parcells. Me and my secret twin sibling, his real name was Bobbert. Bobbert Parcells. Bobbert.

Terrible. You replaced me for my final two seasons with the Jets for a reason I can't get into right now. Point being, any interaction you had with me in 1999, 1999, 1998 and 1999 were actually with Bobbert Parcells, my twin. I just wanted you to know that. Then the phone rings. It's Raiders GM, Reggie McKenzie, breathing heavily and sounding frazzled.

Sugar Bear. Bill, I'm offering you a deal. Derek Carr and next year's first round pick for Tom Brady right now. Yes or no. Qualis to Fantasia. That one made my brain hurt. So why, where does the bobber? That's what I was thinking of it.

When you're weird, the phone rings during another weird thing that was happening to him. That's his life. Oh, so, but that, okay, that's just kind of like something that happened in between. Yeah.

That's why it's amazing. I'm saying no, Reggie McKenzie. Why would I want to? trade Tom Brady unless the I know Derek Carr's great you can set you up for the future and everything like that but I am not trading Tom Brady right now here's what I know Tom Brady can do he can trash the greatest secondary of the 21st century in the fourth quarter for one Super Bowl win then he can do the greatest comeback in NFL history for another Super Bowl win I don't know if Derek Carr can do those things on the biggest stage possible I know Tom Brady not only Tom Brady can

but he's improved every year for the past four years. I'm keeping that guy. You've changed, too, and a couple years ago, you decided to get rid of Brady for Kaleel Macomari Cooper in a first-round pick. I'm going to have to go back and listen to that. That's quite a haul.

Yeah, it's pretty good. Give me Derek Carr, Tom Brady's old as shit. Yeah, I think it's compelling. I mean, but I agree with Wes. I've been trying to trade Tom Brady in these various scenarios for, like, five years, and it would have been a bad move every time. We've never done a Qualist DuFontazia that didn't involve Bill Belichick.

Whatever reason, he's catnip in this game. I mean, maybe the real answer to the question is you call up people close to Bill Parcells and you see if they know any medical professionals he can go see because he seems troubled. He seems in trouble. Who, Bill or Bobbert? I don't know. Whatever's going on. I'd be a little worried that Bobbert does not exist.

I think that would say. Bill is struggling. That would tell me that Bill and Bill actually their friendship is fully back on. I think Bobbitt got in the way. I think if you care about Bill Parcells, you try to do something. It also would tell me that Bobbert Parcells had a 10-0 lead in the third quarter of the 98 AFC championship. Yeah, but Bobbert lost it. He lost it, yeah.

Bill wouldn't have. Where was Bill during this? He can't explain. He won't explain. Do we, does anybody else want to do one? I'll do one quickly. How about that? Wes, are you okay with deferring to Greg on this?

Absolutely. Nobody I'd rather defer to. Okay. We could do more than one way. It's time to go. Here we go. You are Mark Sessler. Oh. In Mark's case, you know, this should be an easy role.

But for the two of you, you are Mark Sessor. So you don't know that you're Mark Sessler. You have all the thoughts and dreams that Mark Sessler would. You're not aware that you used to be someone else. You're visited by an angel. That angel, strangely, is Will Selva. Very similar to Will Selva. And he gives you two options.

Will Selva, the Mark Sessler of Good Boynt Football? Yeah, it was originally going to be Aaron Coscarelli. Now it's Will Selva as an angel. And he gives you two options. And he tells you, once you choose, I will erase this conversation from your memory. You will not know that we had it. But I give you these two options. Number one, you can have a dream season rooting for the Cleveland Browns that no one sees coming.

The greatest story in sports history, the least-like. likely Super Bowl championship team ever. They escape from 1 in 15 to the playoffs and a magical Super Bowl run ending in Minnesota that you will get to cover live at the game through the podcast afterwards. Or I will be able to double your salary. We will put around the NFL podcast on air on NFL Network. And oh, by the way, the Heat and Light podcast now has a show on NFL Network, too.

Qualis to Fantasia. The Heat and Light podcast is getting popped up. They say anything about the throwback? Throwback podcast, not involved, not involved. But you are Mark Sessler, you only have his thoughts. Live throwing copper this week, check it out. This is the toughest one yet. This is very...

Because I'm trying to put myself in Mark's shoes and which one would make him happier. And I don't know the answer. I don't either. I don't either. It's a tough one. I'm going to take B, double the salary, AT NFL on air, heat and light podcast, supported by this arm of NFL media. I think that that improves Mark's quality of life quite a bit. Do we know anything about the ratings?

Is this something where it's a sustain? No, no guarantees beyond that. I mean, they just get on the air. We don't know if they're successful. From then, you're back to being Mark Sessler and life is just back, like how it would be. And our show is on the air, though, too. Your salary lasts more than one year. The Browns, well, I mean, the euphoria from the Browns could last multiple years.

And working in a corporate setting, you have to understand if you double your salary, yeah, that's great. But you're also putting a target on your back. If you don't deliver on these programs, they could cut you loose. I'm not saying what I believe, how the heat and light television show would do or our show would do. But there's a lot of pressure. I don't think Mark would like it that much. There seems to be a lot riding on these television shows. in a dying medium, I don't think that's the way to go.

I think, Mark, if I'm Mark, give me the dream season, give me the glory of that run, and being in Minnesota when it happens, and being in the Browns locker room, you can never take it away from them. You can take away all that other stuff and be can never take away hoisting the Lombardi. You can never take away Jimmy Haslam hoisting a Lombardi trophy in U.S. Bank Stadium. I don't know what I'm really baffled by this one because the second one is not just about me it would benefit multiple other people including my family

like the Browns one would also benefit thousands and millions of other people that have suffered with that team so it's a little bit of a crazy but because no one knows that I made the decision and you won't even know I won't even know I your mind will be erased of it I did not hear that the Browns will never win the Super Bowl right in the second equation oh is that part of it no it's not It can win in 2000, but they won't, but they won't. But we don't, but that's what I'm living now.

So I like the idea. I think it just, it's, I like the idea of everything in work life and for our whole group and everything else, having the chance to blow up. Double salary sounds good. And maybe the Browns win the Super Bowl three or five hundred years from now and I'll know about it from another realm. That was kind of like a Mr. Destiny one, Greg. Yeah.

of the James Belushi vehicle I never saw that flick but heard good thing I did see that I never saw it back when it's the only James Belushi vehicle worth checking out Linda Hamilton is the is it the only James Belushi

vehicle period Belushi had some vehicles they didn't run very much Oh he had that one sitcom And James hey Courtney Thornsmith Yeah I was a big He had a couple where he was acting with like

A dog was a lead character I believe if I'm not mistaken Another dog an animal And it's tragic what happened to his brother, but, hey, James, you're not in the Blues Brothers. Let's stay off the stage. Wow. All right.

Who saw the James Lucci take down coming? Not James. Not getting that on any other NFL podcast. I think he saw it. Okay, we got to go. By the way, the magic number for the shield after back-to-back wins in the past two weeks. And thank you to Tony Garcia. Shout out to a guy that doesn't listen to our podcast for.

stepping in for the old Zeus or his manager and doing a great job. Magic number one, we clinch with a victory over the west side coyotes tonight. So let's get that. Let's get back to the dance. We'll let you know on Tuesday's show, how that goes. And also Tuesday's show will be a video show, just like this past Tuesday show, www.n.com slash ATN videos or video, and that's it. Let's go home, Sully.

This is Dan Hansa signing off for Quiet Storm. The Mailman, the boss. And Sean Trevor Sullivan, behind the glass. Del Tuesday.