NFL Daily with Gregg Rosenthal - Lil Debbie Live in Studio

Episode Date: August 3, 2016

A room filled with heroes -- Dan Hanzus, Gregg Rosenthal, Chris Wesseling and Marc Sessler – break down the latest NFL news, including Tyrann Mathieu signing an extension with the Cardinals and wide receiver James Jones signing with the Chargers. Then, the one and only Lil Debbie stops by the studio to give her take on NFL news, Pokemon Go and more. Plus, can Marc decode Lil Debbie’s tweets?Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comNFL Daily YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/nflpodcastsSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an I-Heart podcast. The Around the NFL podcast will embarrass you in all parlor games. Welcome back to another edition of the Around the NFL podcast. My name is Dan Hansis and I am joined by a room filled with heroes. Mark Sessler, Chris Wessling, and Greg Rosenthal. What's up, boys? Hey, Dan. All right.

Greg, I had a weird dream with you. What a way to start the show. Yeah. It was one of those dreams where it's so bad that you wake up. I woke up on my couch, sweating a little bit. You sleep on your couch a lot. I fall asleep on my couch a lot and then I come to bed, yeah. But don't delve into my personal life.

So we were living together in an apartment on the wrong side of the tracks. Whoa, bro. And I don't know. You too. It wasn't romantic. It was, I think we were, it might have been New York City, but it could have been Los Angeles. but it was kind of a basement apartment and it was dangerous

to the point where our neighbor was actually a holding cell area for the police department and if you opened up the window you could see these prisoners waiting to be transferred to whatever is the next stage in the prosecution.

That's where Mark was. Yeah. So anyway, you were giving me a hard time because you were telling me I have to loosen up and let's go out, let's go out on the city, let's hang out let's do some fun total role reversal and i was like yeah but this is dangerous like do you even know what's happening like this is a bad area and there's the prison right there and the guys were like looking in at the window and then as i say that there was like a storm door that starts opening up

and it's one of these prisoners who would escape they was trying to get in and i slammed the door and i was like gregg i told you and then you were gone oh i don't know if you took off or what i liked it so much before that i was going to say thank you to your subconscious for a You picked me as the roommate. That's a surprise over these guys. That feels good. I like that. It's like the fun.

My family's out of town guy. So that's cool. I think it's a good sign of our relationship. And I did desert him at the last second. No, it's not the deserting. You are in a dream with a co-worker where the subplot is a prison. I want you to unpack the whole vision here. We're not in the prison.

We're just two guys trying to make it in this crazy world. I guess. So as this guy tries to barge into the apartment to kill us, I turn around your gun. I wouldn't leave you And then I was so scared You might have been on the first plane to Japan

But then I woke up on my couch I have a lot of work dreams You guys are involved in them sometimes I feel like maybe they've gone away Since I've stepped aside from being the boss You know I don't dream about you three It happens sometimes for me

I can dream about you I still consistently have, this is a repeating dream, and it's not even original, where I'm in a semester in college, and it's, you know, towards the end of the semester, I realize I've not attended a class that I was scheduled to attend for like three and a half straight months. Oh, I have dreams about that all the time because that actually happened throughout my entire college career. That's called a memory. This is a very special edition of the Around the NFL podcast, sponsored by no one, a show that, You know, do we want to let the audience in or should we just let it happen when it happens? Well, are we sure it's going to happen? No, so let's not tease it yet, or should we?

I think we should. It's going to be in the country. You know, we're not going to hide this when we're tweeting it out. Yeah, that's true. Fair point. Lil Debbie in the studio today. Oh, my God. The great, the great Lil Debbie in studio on the Around the NFL podcast.

She's going to sit in for the news a little bit. Because when I think of Lil Debbie, I think NFL news and what kind of opinion she has. Right, your analysis we're clinging to. And we don't know if she's going to show up, by the way. There are some Yelp reviews of her shows where she either shows up after, you know, an absence or a delay or not at all. Like, that's something we need to be. I'm getting a very solid vibe from her management. Okay.

She saw the Kellynmore News and she just texted Mark and was like, I got to get on the show. I have so much to say. I have my hat take on this. Yes. So we will welcome little Debbie, hopefully, for the news. We will also, and we'll talk to Deb and talk about her relationship with Mark Sessler at this stage for both of them. All right. And after that, we will talk to Greg Rosenthal.

You know, we never go anywhere. They don't send us anywhere. Big guest. They don't put us on TV. We're basically just this entity that exists in the news. newsroom best left forgotten in most situations. Greg one sent you to the Seahawks season opener years ago. Literally years ago. Mark's an intrepid reporter at times. I don't want to be sent anywhere. Let that be clear. I think overall, Dan, we're not road warriors. No, none of us. None of us.

So when we do hit the road, as Greg did on Tuesday visiting Oxnard, California, a little northwest of us for Cowboys Camp we've got to talk about it. We've got to break down what he saw. Did he actually see Kellan Moore's ankle snap like a twig? Is Tony Roma fat? All questions I had. Did you talk

to Jera? I love you know that the Cowboys are in the NFL. They're fun. They're a good villain. So when Greg goes to what's this appropriate Star Wars reference, the death stars? Well, there were multiple, but it's always

The death star, Dan. The death star, I want to hear about it. What's the one on your shirt? The Millennium? I'm not going to get into this. I have the Millennium Falcon on my shirt, and Greg acknowledging the newsroom a week ago that he had never... I didn't know what it was.

I didn't know the name of it. You claimed that nobody else in the newsroom would know what it was either. Let's just leave that there and let it sit. And we should really get going, but I just want everyone to know that, Mark, I noticed that with Lil Debbie come in, you're dressing like a cool dad today. I wore this last week. I'm just a regular Joe.

It's true. I notice the same thing. The hair looks good. There's no, there's no Rich Eisen podcast. It has nothing to do with that. That t-shirt was strategically worn. I have expanded my wardrobe to more t-shirts because it's 104 degrees out.

I have three button-down shirts and they're disasters. Hey, I'm a young guy. You don't want to be basic white guy, do you? I'm young. I'm hip. Please, for John. Let's say hi to the Irish and behind the glass. I have realized after, you know, re-listening to the podcast.

like we all do, that we haven't been giving out a pre-show grade recently. And I feel like today is a great day to bring that back. Oh, you know what? That's a great call, Irishman. That's how you got stretch run Adonis, by the way, for the softball team, that award. I couldn't be more excited about today's show because not only is there a lot of good news to get to, Greg went to Cowboys Camp. I'm excited to learn about that.

Lil Debbie, potentially in the studio, 50-50 shot at best, but the fact that she could be here. I'm so excited. Mark looks like a hot dad. Put it all together. It's a hard, hard, solid B-minus. What? What more do we need to bring to the table, Dan?

I don't know. Let's do some news. See, rap is a New York City thing. It ain't nothing about race or culture. It's New York City. Great vote. The great Doug. Marone, who still is in the NFL.

I had no idea what that was. Doug Maron knows about rap. He was New York rap. He's a Bronx native, and he was Mike for Sound during OTAs at Jaguars camp, where he's like the assistant to the assistant offensive line coach. It's in that realm. Yeah. A bit of a demotion.

The 90s might disagree with that take, but, okay. But yeah, he was miced up kind of giving the guys a hard time saying New York rap was the best. Yeah. I'm glad to see Doug has a paycheck coming in. He didn't play his hand exactly right, put it that way. Let's talk some football. Tyron Matthew, the great, great cornerback of the Arizona Cardinals. Coming back from his second ACLTA in two years,

but the Arizona Cardinals value the man greatly, both as a player and as a locker room character. So the Honey Badger has a new deal. Five years, 62.5 million is the extension, averaging more than 12 million annually. This from Rapsheet, 40 million in guarantees too. So this is not some, you know, pick me up for Honey Badger. We hope you get back to being the guy you were.

We're paying you to be the superstar that you have been when healthy, Chris Wessling. And that makes it money well spent, right? Yeah, I think they see him as the face of their franchise. Larry Fitzgerald has been that guy. And they're going to transition to Tyron Matthew as 24-year-old guy, already a leader in that locker room, as you saw in all or nothing, the great Amazon series. But I think it's a tremendous show of confidence in a guy coming back from his second ACL tear. They have no idea if he's going to be 100% by week one,

and they gave him this big, huge mega contract as the highest paid safety in the league. One thing that we were talking about yesterday is that now everyone looks at Honey Badger and says, whoa, why didn't the other 31 teams take a chance? It's easy to look at the draft board and look at these failed, vanished players that were taken above him, but there's really only a handful of NFL teams where this could have been a successful story. Not to say that Tyrone Matthew couldn't have succeeded anywhere with his talent, but the Cardinals were one of that handful of clubs that offered a nurturing, perfect setting where they believed him in entirely. And they were all about,

you are going to get a chance here. We absolutely believe in you. Well, if you go back to all or nothing, they did a nice job flashing back to draft day where he waited a long time. Bruce Ariens is on the phone with him. Steve Kime, I can't remember exactly, but he's on the phone on a balcony in New Orleans, and they laid it out to him. It was like, you're going to be on a short rope, but we believe in you, but you got to get your act together. And he promised him, gave him his word, that he would be that guy, and that's who he became. And now, if you're thinking of who are the best five defensive backs for the next five years, I think you think of Honey Badger and Patrick Peterson

and their teammates. And that's awesome. And I think the money, shows that they're different players, and I think you're right, that he's more of the face of the franchise, but this isn't a deal where they went crazy in terms of his health if he doesn't get back to being that player. It's really a two-year $21 million contract. It's not $40 million guaranteed. Shocking that the original numbers wouldn't.

And that's totally guaranteed the next two years, and there's no reason to think he won't get the back end of it. It's really just a worst-case scenario if his health went wrong again, for instance. after that. And it's awesome. If you're a Cardinals fan, you have to feel great because even though Carson Palmer is reaching the end, you still have to feel like there's enough of a nucleus here that they're set up long term. They'll have to figure out the quarterback position eventually. It reminds me of a couple years ago when we were writing about the Seahawks reupping with one star after the next to keep what was a young nucleus in place long term, not blow up the machine and let them

all leave by free agency. The Cardinals are not built the same way necessarily, but we're going to start to see them sign these guys to go not make this Arizona thing a two-year deal, but a three, four, five-year journey with Ariens. That's part of the story that a decade ago, the Cardinals were a laughing stock. They were one of the worst franchises in the league, and now you can say they have this stability in the vision to bring him in and develop him, and a big part of it is probably Bruce Ariens, who's a bit of a redemptive story in his own right.

And I think the last thing I want to say on Honey Badger is there's no other player like him in the league. there's no other slot corner slash safety playing outside linebacker blitzing covering Jimmy Graham playing the run really well as a short tackler and covering you know a ball natural instincts and ball hawking guy covering number one receivers too nobody does all that he's a hybrid player and increasingly more hybrid league is it possible guys that when we pick our team of around the NFL That we run back to the Cardinals.

Is that an option? I'm not rolling it out. I wouldn't either. I mean, there's been a lot of attention on the Cardinals, and somehow usually that makes me feel very exhausted by any player or team. I don't feel that way about them. Really? I thought last week you were saying you were totally sick of them.

No, I wasn't. Are they crazy? Awkward. An absolute misquote. I mean, Bruce Aryan, it starts me with Ariens. There's a lot to like on that team. That's the version of Greg that heads out the front door when a villain's in the back.

Trying to throw me under the bus with a phantom quote. Let's move on. It's much less phantom than the text that I was sending you. The Falcons cannot get to the quarterback. It's been that way for a couple years now. So they made a move on Tuesday signing veteran and defensive end, Dwight Freeney to a contract rap sheet reported. This is a deal that brings a 7th,

pro bowler in the house. They had met in May. The Cardinals, who Freeney had a really nice run with last season after being signed in season, I kind of thought that he would end up back with them this year, but the Cardinals had decided to go in a different direction. So Frini joins up with the Falcons. Greg, do you think Frini will have the same impact on Atlanta that he did in Arizona? Probably not because he was so good for the Cardinals in a short time and just his age

and everything else would make you think it won't happen again. That said, it was a good move for Atlanta. They need pass rush help. It's on turf and take a shot. I think they could be a good defense if it wasn't for their lack of one-on-one pass rushers. I think Dan Quinn ultimately did a good job with a lackluster roster. It's a more interesting group this year. I don't know if it's particularly talented if you compare it to a league average defense.

I mean, they have tried to draft pass rushers, and I give them that, and we're hard on the Falcons. But a couple of years ago, it's Oseum and Yora. It's going to be Chris Clemens two years from now. Why don't you keep bringing in veterans whose primes have passed? Well, they signed Derek Shelby. They have Vic Beasley. I think in a perfect world, Dwight Freeney is coming off the bench,

and he's there in case guys don't work out or guys get hurt. He's known for one of the quickest first steps of any pass rusher in NFL history. And I think it's interesting that if you watch Vic Beasley play has one of the quickest first steps in the league, his problem is he just doesn't have the strength to fight off offensive tackles right now but maybe Frini can help him with some technique maybe he could teach him the spin move

maybe he could I don't know if anybody will ever do it as well as Dwight Frini does I'm doing a piece for Thursday about guys who could use a good end of the career push to kind of put them over the top and make the Hall of Fame oh good one and I thought about doing Frini and ultimately

I don't think I'm going to put him on there because I think he's just the Hall of Famer I don't think he necessarily needs the push there's so much competition with the pass wrestlers of his era. I agree. Kevin Green, who's... Maybe I'll combine him and Mathis together, because Robert Mathis is definitely on that list. I believe Kevin Green is third, second or third all time in sacks,

and it took him a long time to get in. So you almost have to put a cherry on top. I think he needs that surge. All right, maybe I'll put him back on the Mahamasquot. Get that guy in that list. I mean, he might need 15 to 20 sacks. I think he really needs the push. I think he does.

That's just, you know... I agree with him. It could be two years. Anyway. We're writing your column for you. No, I like it. Moving on. Greg, yes, he was at Cowboys Camp.

We're going to get to that later, but he was also on the scene. Were you still there when it happened? Oh, yeah. Kellyn Moore, who was in line to be Tony Romo's backup, which not for nothing, is one of the most important positions in the NFC this year because we don't know what we're going to get from Tony Romo. Kellyn Moore broke his ankle in practice. It was a high ankle area of break.

He will have surgery today, Wednesday, expected to be. miss about three to four months. Marron. Greg, paint the picture when this went down. Well, it came on a long throw where no one was really paying attention to Moore after the throw, just a typical play where the pass rush got to Kellan Moore and a couple people collided into the back of his knee. By the way, the Cowboys offense played terrible. Throughout the day, the defense was winning really all day. And it's unfortunate. After after it happened, Jason Witten, you know, spoke with reporters and he said, you know, he said his heart hurts for more because this is a guy who has really no physical skill set to make you think he should be in the NFL. And here he is in his fifth year as the backup quarterback to Tony Romo. He's worked a long way to get to this spot and now it's taken away from him.

From the Cowboys perspective, though, I don't know if it hurts them at off. They bring in Nick Foles. I think that's an upgrade and ultimately it helps. That's my initial reaction. I mean, it's unfortunate for Kelloggling. Moore, but this could be doing the Cowboys a favor that you can't go into a season with Kellyn Moore as your primary backup to one of the most brittle quarterbacks in the NFL. And it wasn't a competition in terms of the backup quarterback job. From all accounts, it was going to be his job. And Dak Prescott looks like you would imagine a fourth round rookie to look like. I almost felt bad for him.

I mean, it's funny, after the injury happens, everyone gets buzzing. And then Jason Garrett, I doubt he would have done this otherwise, spends 20 minutes after the practice just throwing with Dak Prescott and kind of talking to him and then suddenly Dak Prescott comes out off the field and is swarmed by about 40 people. And there cannot be another team in the NFL where 40 people would be swarmed around Dak Prescott. Why did the Cowboys get to this point again after what they experienced last year? There were enough veteran-type quarterbacks you could have invested in the offseason.

And they looked into Nick Foles. That's what Ian Rappaport said when the Rams were trying to shop him. It's amazing. Jerry Jones just said two days ago he had no interest in Nick Fools. And this is a team, like, however long ago they signed Kyle Orton, Jerry Jones, had the epiphany. We need a high-end backup for Tony Romo. And then he decides the last couple of years that Brandon Whedon's good enough and Kellynne Moore's going up. Well, they wanted to draft someone high.

By all accounts, this year they were really thinking about taking someone in the second round and then they take Jalen Smith instead. It is strange. I think they like Kellyn Moore. Like Witten talked about that that week 17 game against Buffalo, if you guys remember, where he threw for a lot of years. really impressed the team but that that seems curious it's also a financial decision maybe at a time they had the flexibility to have a high paid backup but they pay in a lot of guys a lot of money on that roster that could factor in as well uh moving on speaking of injury stevie johnson we know had surgery the charges wide out had surgery to repair a torn meniscus he'll be out a long time so

enter james jones uh the former packers wide receiver signed a one-year deal with the team uh mark i know Jones, who not too long ago, led the NFL touchdown catches, did not have a, after an early period last season, looked like a solution for the Packers kind of disappeared down the stretch. Do you expect him to make a impact in San Diego? No. It was between him and Brian Hartline, and I would say if you're San Diego, this is what I said down in the newsroom, just develop a younger player. I mean, why are we going down this road?

You have weapons on this offense. It's not like you're looking for a starting wide out. Get a young guy and develop him. There's some future investment there. If you want to look on the bright side, here's what we've learned about James Jones the last two years at this stage of his career. He cannot anchor a passing game from the, he can't be your number one.

He sabotaged the Raiders offense and Derek Carr's abysmal rookie season. He sabotaged the Packers offense last year because he can't get open. So if the quarterback, if Aaron Rogers is standing, back there. He's looking through his options and James Jones isn't an option unless he wants to give him a 50-50 ball every time. But as maybe your third or fourth guy, maybe that will work out in San Diego. Usually there has to be a coach on staff that knows him and trusts him. I didn't do that homework. But I mean, someone's got, he's got to be a known commodity of someone inside the Chargers. Yeah, great, great guy. He kind of defines replacement level receiver right now because

he literally has been that for so many teams where he is the replacement. I did not agree with some hot take I saw from San Diego that said he'll be an upgrade or at least even to Stevie Johnson. But this is all secondary to the breaking news coming out of Twitter. As we are talking, West knows what I'm talking about. Do you want me to break it or West? I feel like Mark should break it. Mark, go ahead and break it. We have a tweet from Little Debbie says that she is on location.

It sounds like, about to do this NFL podcast, I'm going to hotbox the parking lot. I don't know if you know what that means, but she should. It should be fun. Well, I like how you smoothed out the language. You said, I'm gonna hot box. It was, I'm a hot box. I'm a hot box. I am a.

Well, let's be honest, there's going to be a language barrier when she gets in here. No. I don't think so. You don't think so? No, no. Exactly what she's saying. All right. It's a sweet girl from Northern California.

That is exactly right. Let's, uh, let's move on. Speaking of rap music. Get your Dan Hansis. I got to play that for her, by the way, Dan. That was more, is that really rap? That's more like limp biscuit. Well, that's Young Monday, a Los Angeles-based hip-hop artist.

Retired, I believe, now. Friend of David Ely. Can't wait to pair him with Old Dirty Tuesday. Do you know why I'm playing that, Mark? Now, yes, I do. I can piece it together. Let the record show he didn't step on Wes's joke. Just no one laughed at it.

It's all right. It happens. The Baltimore Ravens on Tuesday waived former first round running back. Trent Richardson in order to make room for wide receiver. Odell Beckham Jr., no, they waved T. Rich to make room for receiver Chuck Jacobs. So T. Rich, not going to make the roster. And yes, Mark, who just, this is emblematic, by the way, of how much Mark believed in T. Rich to the end, we had sandwich wagers on the line for two years running about whether he'll play another snap.

the lead of Mark's Post, the Trent Richardson roller coaster is screaming back toward planet Earth. Listen, buddy, it was never up there. It was never up there in the atmosphere. I don't know if you realize it, but that was always very low. That post was not written in an objective fashion. It was littered with anger. And it's because of this. People are acting like I keep re-upping on this deal every week.

This deal was made years ago. I already paid you off with your food. And I got about 806 tweets yesterday from people being like, don't know why you made this bet it didn't i did not make it in 2016 your clown you actually sent out a tweet that said get off my timeline comma that was what that was about i didn't know i didn't know i mean deep into the night i'm getting stuff about this um listen you doubled down you never gave up you were confident a couple months ago i never i never feared it i knew this was going to happen, especially after we heard about his famous breakfast before his private work.

That was a dead giveaway. I was never confident during the Ravens period. It was just another potential chance. I've already paid off the bet. If you're not confident about a bet, when you've already paid it off. That's true. On this Trent Richardson roller coaster, what were the moments where it's like you're getting closer to the top, you got some butterflies in your stomach?

You're about to go over. The exciting part. Yeah, the things going up. The high point might have been when at the owner's meetings, John Harbaugh was saying, yes, we believe in this guy. You've got as he Newsom was a fellow Alabama guy. You're hearing reports that he might be getting healthy again, and then it's all wind.

It's nonsense. Well, this probably, I'll say probably. All right, how about this, Mark? Do you want to just end it now? Or do you want to risk him getting signed by another team in this whole process starting over here? I will risk it because I've already lost. Why would I cut off?

If he ever played again and I cut off the bet, that would be ridiculous. I'm talking about on social media. If we end it, maybe people won't be inundating your timeline. I just ignore them. No risk it, no biscuit. I'm sticking with it. I'll just ignore those.

Well, the good thing is you put it out there on this podcast that you don't appreciate all this Trent Richards and stuff in your timeline. I'm sure everyone will respect those. That'll help. Would you like me to take control of your Twitter operation for a while? I can block all of those people for you. That would be, that would change the, dynamic and the complete landscape of my Twitter feed.

Speaking of Wes and Cess, the Kissing Cousins social media, you guys still banned each other from Instagram? Have we worked out yet? No, he's un-banned. We never banned each other. I played jokes my own way, and that joke is over. Okay, just checking. I would not want to remove Mark's Instagram from my life.

Do you still believe yours is better, though? Well, I never said it was better. Are you still belittal... Why are we going down this path? Shots, Black and White Alley Shots. I never belittled his shots. I like Mark's Allie Shots. Okay, different story.

I like his alley cat shots that he did with the three of us. Next subject. Beautiful cats in the background. Moving on, the Cincinnati Bengals will be without their first round pick William Jackson, who will miss the entire season after suffering a torn pectoral muscle on Tuesday. This is from Mike Garifolo of NFL media. The timeline for the recovery is indefinite, though it could be three to four months, Grafalo hears.

wipes out the number 24 overall pick out of Houston from Cincinnati's game plan. That hurts Chris Wessling for a team that's done very well in the last decade or so of integrating high draft picks into the lineup. Certainly hurts their depth, but if there's one team that could afford to lose a first round cornerback, look how the Bengals have incorporated these guys into their defense. Drake-Cartric and D'Arquez-Dinard barely played as rookies. I don't think William Jackson was headed for a major rule.

He was fourth on the depth chart behind two other first round picks and a guy they just gave a huge contract to Adam Jones. So this pick was almost cursed because the Steelers were reportedly set on Jackson. They were really upset. They didn't get Jackson settled for Artie Burns. And the Bengals were really hoping to get a wide receiver in that spot. And Josh Statson got taken as kind of the last of that little run. All right, gentlemen, before we go on with the news, it's time.

We were worried, listen, we were worried this person may not make it, but I was wrong to worry because not only was this woman punctual, she's sitting right to my left. She is the great Lil Debbie! Yes! Right. Oh, okay. And this is like the, is this your song in here?

Oh, this is your son. We went to Big Bear in 2014 and played this at least 30 or 40 times. Really? It all started. And let's break this. this down. We're all fans of Lil Debbie, but there's one super fan, and he's sitting right there. That is Mark Sessler. Hey, Mark. How are you? Hey. He introduced us to two cups, and Mark's been following your career since, and it all hit an apex last Thursday at the Trubidor, a club, a

popular, a famous club here in Los Angeles, where Mark went to the show. Mark, so can you explain to us what about Lil Debbie, who, by the way, in real life, is sitting next to us right now? We can watch us on NFL.com. We were videotaping this for posterity. What drew you to Lil Debbie as an entertainer? I think when we, Wes and I actually found that song around the same time. And I just, this is someone that doesn't need to be told about the rules. Forget the rules.

And I, like, I live with a lot of rules in my life. And I was like, I think this is fascinating. And the whole message, the whole vibe, down with it. And it just, it's continued from there. Your thoughts on that, Lil Debbie? it's just crazy to see the type of people that mess with me that like that like me it's like a shocker when I when I saw the tweets I was like what is going on you need to know Mark is a 42 year old sports writer who doesn't

particularly even follow hip hop and he left his wife and two kids at home to go watch you in concert oh wow well it was all ages you could have brought the whole family so Mark's not the weirdest fan you're saying he should have brought his four four and five-year-old. Totally. I love kids. Next time. Next time.

Yeah. But that's all cool. That's on point, that message. But when you did, if you saw Mark in the front row, did you think he was an undercover cop? You know what? No, I did it. Did you notice it? It was a dark venue.

It was a dark venue. And I'm really bad with, no. You had your own thing to do. So how was that show? It was a good show. I was sick, but threw up a couple times. But, you know, I rock star through that. Wow, that's like a real performer.

Most would run off the stage. You just kept going. Yeah, you got to. What was going to do? Wait, you threw up on the stage. On the stage. Damn near on my DJ. You're like the Donovan McNabb of hip-hop story.

I was like, blah. It added some, you know, some reality to it. By the way, for everyone listening, you're a Raiders fan. You're wearing a number 52, Raiders jersey. Yeah. A product. of Northern California, Bill Debbie. Yeah, I feel like for sports, I'm just going to say this, and hopefully nobody

kills me, but for sports, I think it's just like you've got to roll with where you're born, you know what I'm saying? Like, born and raised Oakland, you know what I'm saying? Like, what am I going to do? Like the 49ers? Nah, you know, so. That's almost too easy, right? I'm just here.

Come up and be a 49ers fan, although they're not that good now, but they were a dynasty team years ago. All right. So here's the deal, by the way, with Lil Debbie. She has a new album out called Debbie.

Yeah. Why that title? Well, it's my, it's like my little bow-wow to bow wow moment. Oh, you're dropping the Lil? No,

I'm not dropping the Lil. I'm just like, I feel like I'm an adult now, you know, from like two cups to now, I'm like an adult. But when you hear two cups, you think of it fondly.

It's not like, oh, I got to play the old hit at the concert. No, no, no, no. It's like a classic to me because it's been around for like four or five years. It's a long time. Yeah? So it's still one of my favorite songs. Are you sick of it when you have to

play it at a concert? No, I think the biggest problem is figuring out what to play because I can't play everything. There's some things that I don't get to play and people get very upset about it. It's like the Rolling Stones. You know, there's so many hits. You can't play them all. Exactly. I love that. One bit of constructive criticism, if this grown-up album, you could have called the Debra. Maybe that's the next album. That's the motherhood album that will come out. Some point down the line, maybe.

It's evolution. Never know. Anyway, let's hear a little bit of the single off Debbie, which is Tell Me. Wow. This is hot this one. One of my favorite. Song of the summer.

I like that slinky groove. Do you like that? Yeah. Control room's getting down back there. Yeah, I see him. I love it. We're living it up. We've got to get Mark to loosen up a little bit.

I think having much, I don't know. I'm just enjoying the whole thing. I should have gone down in the parking lot and, you know, hot box. Hit the join a couple of times. The day is young. Speaking of things that you were the first one to do, you know, the parking lot incident. But also, I've never seen anyone wear a fur coat on a jet ski. You're a fashion trailblazer.

It was really hot. It was like. I was thinking about it. It was like an aesthetic thing. It didn't really work the way I wanted it to work, and I had to have, like, the light vest on, all that. Hours and hours of filming that, or did that happen quickly? Quickly. That video was shot within, like, three hours.

And you had written a jet ski before? No. I was actually terrified, and it was hard because my eyelashes kept flying in the winds. I have that problem, too. I was going to say. So you're saying fur coat on the jet ski, not functional. not functional.

Truly a swag option. And if you're watching this video and I implore anyone that's listening to the podcast to seek out the video, we'll have it up by the end of the week of Lil Debbie's a video where she's in a mink coat on a jet ski in the middle of the lake.

It's truly a sight to see. It's new ground. Check it out on YouTube too. All right. So we're doing the news. We're in the middle of the news right now, the NFL news. And would you mind sitting in for a little bit?

No, let's talk about it. Okay, let's start or continue with Detroit Lions Guard Larry Warford, who, like millions of Americans, became addicted to the, this is, I had to look this up because I wrote this post on the website, the location-based augmented reality app, Pokemon Go. And he became so obsessed with it that he realized he had an epiphany one day. And this is what Larry Warford had to say, I'll tell you why I stopped playing it.

This is via the Detroit Free Press. I was walking down Mill Avenue in Tempe, Arizona. I was walking down, and literally everyone that was on their cell phone walking down that same street was playing Pokemon Go. I was looking at their screens, and it was 30, 40 people walking down Mill Avenue. It was a bunch of people playing it, and I was like, I don't like this. I deleted it because I was like, this is some mind control stuff. I don't like it.

Lil Debbie, you're feeling on the app culture and Pokemon Go. Well. Listen, you sit in on the news We're going to talk news Um, Pokemon Go. I don't have Pokemon Go. You don't do it. I like you better already. I don't have Pokemon Go.

Because, I think it's... You can be honest. You're so childish. No, I mean... Exactly. You're right. No, no, no, no. Okay, it's fun.

I get it. It's like it's bringing people together and all of that. But, uh, I'm personally never going to date a man that's like, hold on. I got to catch this Pokemon. You know what I'm saying? That's just not, you know, if I don't have the app, you shouldn't have the app. But I think it's fun for, like, teenagers, you know what I'm saying? For kids.

It's a great thing. I had, like, there was a pack. I'm not kidding on this. It was a pack of kids that went by my house the other day. Right. And so they're saying it's good because you're exercising. I mean, but come on. That's a very loose definition of exercise.

Especially when you hear in the news, and we're, you know, disconnected on some level to this. stuff. But when you hear in the news, people dying, getting shot, being arrested, trying to find the Pokemon characters. Larry Warford's saying this is turning us essentially into zombies and it's not good. I got to kind of agree with them. Do you hear that Chuck Norris found Pokemon on a roadie refo? No. And again, I don't know what any of that means. Maybe it's best to be kind of sitting this one out. And when people make Pokemon Go references, I don't even know what they're talking about i sound like an old old guy but no i think you don't have to be involved with everything to skip no i think everyone listening if if it's not good enough for little debby you said it you wouldn't date

a man with plays pokemongov if if you don't have it no one should have irish that's how people should live their lives just look to the little debby look to her twitter feed follow the wisdom i'm not a religious guy but that might be the way to go you learn a lot uh checking out Lil Debbie's a Twitter profile, which is at, well, I think I know this, L number one L. Debbie. Debbie. Check it out. Irish, you're a millennial, by the way.

Do you play Pokemon Go? Actually, don't, but we have Soleil in here who's a big proponent of it. Sully's a big fan? Yes, he is. Get him out of here. And proud of it. We have never had such a big crowd. Little Debbie would never date you.

Sorry, Sally. For multiple reasons, but that would be one of them. It's the mustache. Moving on. Moving on. Cowboys linebacker Rolanda McLean hasn't been with the team. He's already suspended 10 games to start the season and has been absent, and we're wondering what's going on with Alando McLean,

who's been having problems. Brandon George of the Dallas Morning News, and again, I'm only doing news items, Debbie, that connect to you on some level. Oh, thank God. Brandon George of the Dallas Morning News reports that McLean's most recent positive test was for opiates, not marijuana. George also reports that McLean has a codeine addiction arising from a concoction known as Purple Drank, a mixture of cough syrup and Sprite.

And there's also a report on the Debbie smiling. Big old broad smile. Because I'm like, this shit is funny. Can we hear a little two cups, by the way? I don't know why I'm asking for that right now, but I like it. Also, and this is professional athlete, there's a report out there that he has gained 40 pounds from drinking, you know, lean. And I just want to throw it to little Debbie.

just as someone, you know, a person like the rest of us, what would one person do to not have such crazy weight gain from lean? There's nothing you could do. That's just what happens when you sip syrup. Got to be careful with that. We saw that happen to Jamarcus Russell, the Raiders quarterback, gained a ton of weight on it, but it seems like other people aren't gaining any weight. So is there another way to offset?

I know that you get on a jet ski and a mint coat, and that's like a burning, that burns calories. The thing with syrup is either way you're going to gain weight. It makes you puffy. And then on top of it, you get like hungrier the more you drink it. So I feel like there's no fighting the fatness. But like Little Lane, probably more associated with it or as associated as anyone, certainly hasn't put on any pounds.

That's a great point, Greg. Yeah, I know. I'm just kind of mad you made that point. But I don't know, like, I don't know, maybe he was boy. It's hard for people that are borns with fast metabolism. Or a little. I don't know. But that's a good point because he hasn't gotten bigger.

So you and Wayne both have advantages built in because you're named Lil. Exactly. Both born Lil. Put it all together. So when you were smiling there and say this is funny, are you saying being in this situation with the four of us is funny or fun or Cizorp is fun? Well, this is crazy.

to me. I think we still need to prove ourselves on that. And it's just funny that athlete sips syrup. It's just kind of like, what are you doing with your life choices? I have. You heard it from Lil Debbie. There you go. I have another idea. Former Raider, Rolanda McLeon. Top 10 pick. As you know. It hasn't worked out for him. Maybe this is partly why. I don't know. Before we move on, I have one more bit of career advice. I'm loving this. I'm loving all this constructive criticism. So as you as you mature as an artist and become Debra. Mm-hmm.

As we talked about. If your metabolism turns on you and you put on a significant amount of weight, wait, you can be Big Debra. Yeah, exactly. That's it. I'm going to just make the cakes bigger, you know? That's kind of better. That's going to get bigger, you know?

Big Debra is a pretty good name. I like that. I like that. You know. You know, I wouldn't be mad at it. Yeah. I liked it. All right.

That's what's happening in the news before we say goodbye to Lil Debbie. We would keep you here forever, but we know that you have a tour coming up. What's the name? of the festival that A little bit? Stoners Cup. You're headlining the Stoners Cup.

You're going to be all through middle America. You have fans all over the place. Rican havoc. Yep. Promoting the new album. We want to play a little game with you. And again,

Mark Sessler, your biggest fan. Well, in this room. I mean, if you look at her timeline. Not like the entire world. Yeah, I mean, the world has, you've got some tremendous things. Probably in this room.

The biggest fan in this room, Mark Sessler is going to help me out with something here. What we did, we collected. some tweets off Lil Debbie's account, and I'm going to read some of these tweets. Mark, you're going to attempt to translate the tweets? Yeah, I think for just the average listener, we have listeners in England, Australia, you know,

they're not, they don't all know the lingo, so we're going to try to just break it down what you're trying to say with your tweet. Ireland, China. I can't wait to see what you guys or hear what you guys think talking about. Mark's a wordsmith. Well, you'll have a chance to tell us if we've hit this or if we've completely missed it. All right, here's the first tweet number one from Little Debbie. Remember when you thought a bitch was doper than me?

Tuh. All right, what did that mean? Mark Suss. All right, translation. Guess what? Little Debbie wasn't put here to be a middle school librarian. She's here for revolution. If Little Debbie's fire rhymes are too much for you to handle,

how about log off your computer and go read an aging copy of National Geographic Clown? Yeah, exactly. Is that right? That was exactly right. I love it. One out of ten. And how correct was marked there? 10.

10. Damn. Good start. Number two. Seeing these for the first time. I just seen a spotted chihuahua that looked like a mini cow. What does it mean, Mark? All right, multiple levels.

Translation, Little Debbie operates as the baddest rap queen on the West Coast, but don't forget about her keen eye for animal species. Where others ignore animals, Debbie does not. While her critics flounder, she piles up green. You're down. She's way up. It's some glasses, bro, because you can't see. I mean, I really just saw a little spotted chihuahua.

I was very high, and I was like, it's the literal replica of a mini cow. And I, it's got to get high. A little off on. In this case, there was nothing to read into. That was the one. That was more. Oh, no. Sorry.

All right. I've got an idea, Dan. Yeah. But it was like the thought that that went into that was very deep. Okay. Deep. You appreciate it. What if we had Lil Debbie read these next two tweets?

Oh, yeah, I hand them over. Oh, that's good. Number three. Number three. It's like weird to see this. I enjoy shit like jet skis, hiking, rolling up weed, going to barbecues, not apps. All right, translation, we touched on this. Little Debbie made her feelings quite clear.

While zombie teens wandering groups searching for idiotic Pokemon gold, Little Debbie is living large in the real world. Look, but don't touch. Where are we at on that? That's a seven. That's a seven. We're getting back in. You're getting back in.

I'm going to use my math school. I once got a 39, Deb, on a state mandated math test. But 10 plus 1 plus 7 is 18 divided by 3. It's 6 out of 10 so far, which is almost passing. Well, it's not great. All right. And finally, this one will determine whether you pass or fail, Lil Debbie 101. Number four.

Don't ever threaten a baby bitch in hopes that you're scaring us. We all with the shits, and we really don't care. All right. Translation. This is a reminder to those hoping to annoy a female from California's Oakland Alameda region. Little Debbie is too busy sitting on a hillside of cash to tangle with frauds. People keep coming at her, but she can't even see you. She's way too far above you because that's where a queen sits. I love that. You should write my tweet.

Like, I'm going to give you my login info before I leave and you can just go ham. All right. Love it. Dangerous move, but you could try that. So that sounds like a 10. That was a 10. Yeah. Back in.

To what, a C-minus at this point overall? Maybe all the way up to a B-minus, which lines up with the pre-show group. I can handle B-mino. That right there might have been the highlight of Mark's NFL career. Not NFL-related, but yes. Little Debbie, you're amazing. Thank you for having me. You were delightful.

We've got to have you back on. I was very intimidated. I was like, oh, God, I've got to get high because I'm so scared. But you guys, you guys, are actually a good time and you're nice and you didn't like rip me to part. You could just be like the fifth member of the podcast. That would be amazing.

Three days a week. I'm sure everybody cares about what I think about. One last question. I think this will be one of the most popular segments we've ever done. One last question before you go. With the rise, Deb, of passing offenses and the resulting nickel schemes that have infiltrated defensive schemes, how do you see this affecting the free agent market for cornerbacks?

Just kidding I'm like free Asian quarterback schemes I don't know about any of it You know just go and play Go and knock them all down That's the best analysis Knock them all down Lil Debbie's mature new effort

Debbie is out everywhere right now Including iTunes make sure you pick it up And Debbie might be touring in an area near you So check out her Twitter feed Which I'm sure is info a website Oh, littledebby.net. Littledebby.net. Hit that up.

Anything you could ever know about Deb. You've been awesome. Thank you for stopping by. Thank you. Thank you. You guys are amazing. Little Debbie, everybody. I did you.

Well, there goes Lil Debbie. How about that? She was delightful. She was great. She was just herself. And I like Mark that you came out of your shell, a little nervous at the start. It's such a big fan of Debbie. Well, I didn't know.

I mean, you know, I'm putting this box where it's like, look, there's that crazy fan over. It's like, no, I just, I dig what she's all about, but I think she did an excellent, she was amazing. She did great. It's fun. You know, I think the Raiders were already a prime candidate for team of ATL after that performance. They're going to be hard to top. That's a lot of momentum they're going to be carrying into the preseason. That's a very good point. Speaking of, there's no, there's no topping that segment. I like that I was going to do this Cowboys camp segment after Lil Demi. That's why they have her clothes. out the stoner's cup you don't follow up little debby you know over there's no segment you

podcast over cowboy segment you just like you don't reach the apex of closing out stoners cup without knowing how to like put a hammer drop on anything you're involved with so we're not going to talk about but what we will good thing is we do a show three times a week so uh tomorrow's show we will hit up uh gregg's experience at cowboys camp find out if tony robo's drinking that lean and uh amongst other things And we'll talk about some other things in the NFL, but there's really, you just got to go out with Deb. That's it. Got to leave.

All right. So thank you to everyone for listening. And the listeners, thank you for, listen, little Debbie's not sitting in the studio if people aren't. And she told us that after she was off air. Oh, yeah. The off air, off air, little Debbie was even more fascinating than. But she was really amazed by how many listeners of our show.

reached out to her and, you know, asking to come on the show and just in general checking in on the Lil Deb experience. So great stuff. Thank you to everyone that listens to the show. Fun things. Fun things happen today. It's a big moment around the NFL history. All right.

We'll be back on Thursday with another show. No Lil Debbie, but we'll try our best. It will still be something worth listening to. So until Thursday, this is Dan Hansis, signing off for Quiet Story. Storm, the mailman, the boss, an Irish behind the glass till Thursday. with the foes underneath. Holly in the scrape with the foes up under. But keep it on the low, I'm trying to stay on the under.

But everybody know me, man, they take in my picture. Bad f*** with me just to roll up my swisher. They know me from the bay all the way to L.A. From telegraph to Fairfax, they know my name. I'm the same one. They get the swag firm. I've always had swag while they never had this. This is an I-Heart podcast.