NFL Daily with Gregg Rosenthal - NFL First Dates: Mike Evans, A.J. Brown, Cowboys, Steelers and Bills

Episode Date: March 26, 2026

Gregg Rosenthal is joined Jourdan Rodrigue, Patrick Claybon and Colleen Wolfe to get you caught up on news from around the NFL including Lavonte David retiring after 14 seasons with the Buccaneers and Joe Flacco signing with the Bengals. Plus, the crew puts on their thespian hats to imagine how the first meetings may have gone between Mike McCarthy and the Steelers, Jerry Jones and Rashan Gary, the Eagles' brass and potential A.J. Brown suitors, Mike Evans and the 49ers and DJ Moore and the Bills. NFL Daily YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/nflpodcastsSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an I-Heart podcast. Guaranteed Human. I'm Daniel Jeremiah. And I am Greg Rosenthal. I know that, Greg. We're teaming up on 40s and free agents, the podcast that owns the NFL offseason. This is where teams are built.

Free agency, combine, pro days, trades. Every move matters. From my draft boards and mock drafts to my vaunted top 101 free agents and how rosters come together. Quarterback movement. Surprise signings. We'll tell you what it means. And who really.

really wins. Open your free IHeart radio app, search 40s and free agents and listen now. Welcome to NFL Daily, where we always love a good first date. I'm Greg Rosenthal in a packed Chris Wesleying podcast studio. My arm just collided.

We're so packed. It happened. Patrick Claibon. Colleen Wolf is back. Jordan Rodriguez back. The gang's all here. Look at us now. For a big show, the return of NFL first date.

Greg, you really have the high beam. on right now that when the charisma flips on, man. It is good for you. We have a little bit of news and yes, we're play acting today. A few different scenarios. We have some long scripts in front of us

where we imagine our, we imagine our, the first time maybe some of the new alliances that are around the NFL jump in together. And a little bit of news. Welcome back, Colleen. Hey, great to be here. Didn't have time to put makeup on.

So we are going, this is my natural state, everybody. And Patrick pointed out that I am slowly morphing into an Eastern European type of set wearer. I love a matching set. And then I pulled out these glasses to just like, you know, finish the look. Get the gold chains. And then like we're going to buy some merch from Colleen, which I appreciate. Yeah, a giant watch. In the giant watch.

I won. Yeah, I wish the audience could see the matching sweatpants right now. I know. I know. From Colleen. Yeah, I'm Sahn's makeup too today. So we're all just all natural. It's going to show up a lot more on me. Let's do some news very quickly before we get to our big segment.

Levante David retired since we last taped a news-like show. And I like that we can lead a show with Levante David at this time of year because this man deserves it. One of the most underrated linebackers, one of the best defining linebackers of his generation. This is him at his press conference announcing that he's hanging him up. My 14-year career has come to an end. And I feel it's time to, you know, move on and, you know, find a different path in life, mainly being a dad to that amazing little girl over there.

Changed my life so much. you know people always talk about like man you need to have a daughter you need to have a daughter you never understand I'm like why you want me to have a daughter so bad and I'm like everybody you know being a masculine man you want to have a son like I want a son so he could you know follow my footsteps and do you know so I can help him become a man but I knew having a girl help me become a man okay well I'm crying I feel like cries are almost like yawns. It's really contagious. If once one person is crying,

then I just automatically get it. It's so hard not to. But it's just the two times that we hear players of his caliber cry are when they retire and when they go into the Hall of Fame. And we're so used to seeing the other side of these players and never the softer side. And so when we do hear it, it's almost like, oh my God, it just is like so humanizing.

And I love him. And what a great player he was. And I remember when I guess it was maybe around Super Bowl week and we were talking about different teams. And I can't remember who I was on the show with. It might have been Steve Smith Sr. And Michael Robinson or MJD. And I lightly casually mentioned something about Lavante, David, maybe playing his final game.

And everyone was like, it was like, how dare you say something like that? And yeah, it just felt like he was giving those vibes late in the season. Like this could be it. I like that you mentioned the Hall of Fame because I do think he's a guy that we're going to have to start making the case for him early. And I'm going to do it. The only player in NFL history to rank top 30 all time in tackles, tackles for loss and force fumbles. The only player, you know, we can cut up the stats in different ways to have recorded 1,500 plus tackles, 25 plus sacks, 25 plus force fumbles and 10 plus interceptions. And then I really liked from Aaron Schatz had one where since he entered the league,

Levanti David's 415 defeats ranked third all-time behind Ray Lewis and Junior Sayou. And his 330 successful stops like on a pass tackle, which they keep track of number one all-time since 91. And he somehow only made one Pro Bowl. Pro Bowls are irrelevant. Three all-pro teams, though. And I think that shows the writers no more. And even PFF, I'll give them some low five all-PFF teams. And so I'm bringing up all this stuff for when he is up for the Hall of Fame.

Yeah. And for the voters who like that one moment, we'll have, you know, next year a chance to talk about five years from then, Travis Kelsey going into the Pro Football Hall of Fame. This was peak Travis Kelsey who could not be covered by a linebacker in the Super Bowl, getting the clamps absolutely put on. Yes.

Yes. And I think it's one of those, that was one of those unforgettable things where you also, when you're watching that unfold in real time, I also love the surge of this. guy's been doing it like this forever. And if you are not familiar with his game, you are now on the biggest stage possible. And I absolutely love that because I hate to say this phrase, but like, ball knowers no. Like, I can't even call this man underrated because he is, the stats absolutely say

he's not underrated. And yet, when we talk about some of the great players to play this position in history, we had better make damn sure that he is not left out of that conversation. An absolutely favorite of Chris Wessling. And I went and looked at that the defensive rookie of the year votes back in his rookie year. Lou Keeckley was the rookie of the year that year. He's already in the Hall of Fame. And Bobby Wagner right behind him. For some reason, the three best linebackers of his generation all got drafted that year.

Shout out to the two voters, whoever they were, who voted for Levante David back then. Also getting some votes. Casey Hayward, shout out to him. Underrated career, started with the Packers. And Jack Rabbit Jenkins, Janoris Jenkins, who was a lot of fun at his peak, naming some guys. something we like to do. We still have to do that show. We have that full show. We're going to do a little. We might do a little bit. What an interesting

time for Bucks fans. Now they have no Lomante David and Mike Evans, like two of the greats. Also, by the way, the only reason you didn't make the Pro Bowls is because the Pro Bowl combines edge players linebackers with off ball linebackers. So it really doesn't have anything to do with that. It's just the past rushers

are all making it. Got a lot of problems with you people. We got new backups around the league. Bejan Robinson's backup is Brian Robinson. presumably the Saints backup quarterback is going to be Zach Wilson unless they keep Spencer Outler, which I hope they do. So that'll be like a battle there. And then Joe Flacco is back with the Cincinnati Bengals.

And he's not happy about it. He said, believe me, I wish I was a guy somewhere. I think teams are dumb for not having me be that guy, but it is what it is. I'm not going to let them or it get me down. What do you think about the fired up Joe Flacco that he didn't get a job and that he was settling? I'm glad he's back. I'm glad that this Joe Flacco is back when people were like, hey, are you going to teach this Lamar Jackson kid how to be a kid?

He's like, no, I'm Joe Flacco. It's not my job to instruct the next generation. I go out there and get buckets. And he's done nothing but get buckets since the new Joe Flacco revolution started. And somebody's going to need him somewhere. And he's going to make them pay in the same way Kendrick Bourne did with Paul Shanahan, where it's come. yesterday's price is not going to be today's price.

He's 41 years old, though. He says, who knows what these teams were thinking anyway? I think they were just thinking, you're 41. And actually, like, the success rate numbers and some of the turnover where they play numbers, he didn't really play that. No, no, no, no, no, slander here on Joe Flacco. His longevity in this league is elite. So as it turns out, Joe Flacco is elite.

I've loved this very honest version of Joe Flacco, too. We've gotten back over the last couple of years. Like, I will not forget that clip he has. had on a podcast, I think he, I don't forget which other quarterback, Alex Smith maybe he was talking to, where he talked about how long it takes him to get out of bed in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom and how much of his body hurts during that entire process. I don't know, maybe some teams listen to that before thinking about. I thought you were just going to say it takes them a long while to actually go to the bathroom.

I was like, they have medication for that show. Tell us more, Greg. My favorite Joe Flacco quote from the last several years was, When he talked about the absolute joy that it is being on the road and going to get a meal by yourself, like, there's no better feeling than that. Truly. It's 100% the best. You get to relax at your highest level, I think. He said Zach Taylor helped convince him to play, you know, to join the team.

He didn't want to wait around because what he loves in life is being around other football players. So he doesn't want to miss any of the offseason in lifting weights. I'm glad there's a quarterback in Cincinnati that likes Zach Taylor. I do love these quotes. I could get all caught up and say, why not me? And be all bitter about it. Listen, maybe that does motivate me a little bit. I feel like I still have some unfinished business,

not being one of those guys to go sign somewhere. Yeah, it pisses me off a little bit. He still got it. That was getting very close to the Tom Brady quote of, they signed that effing guy over me in Chicago. I believe it was talking about Justin Fields or something. No, it was Derek Carr. Talking about Derek Carr.

That was right. Right. Derek Carr. Yeah. And I like the B. Robinson backfield with the Falcons. Some other nuggets, the eagle sign Elijah Moore, and their swing tackle, Fred Johnson. Elijah Moore, notably very close friends with AJ Brown,

who's going to be coming up in this show, one of his best friends in all of football. And so that's interesting. Maybe that helps the situation there. The new team Trev used to be me and Patrick on Team Treve. We believed in Trevor Simian. Now it's the Falcons. They believe in Trevor Simeon.

He's on the team. And then speaking of, you know, some guys, I noticed a tweet from a great writer over at ESPN Fantasy, Mike Clay. And he does an annual purge of ESPN fantasy football player names in the database. And it just kind of saying goodbye to some of these guys. And I thought this would be a great time to name some guys. There are great players like Julio and Jimmy Graham on there. But I'm more interested in just getting your thoughts of like,

Jerich McKinnon, Patrick. Jerich McKinnon, a great explosive running back, especially in fantasy spots where Derek McKinnon would randomly score 20 points. You'd never hear from him in the rest of the season. Daryl Henderson had a moment where we thought he was going to be that dude. And also famously was picked up out of a sand flag football league in Santa Monica a couple of years ago to basically bridge the injury gap for the Rams. Devante Parker,

Ryan Tannahill, Kenyon Drake, Matt Breedah. Oh, he could still back. Oh, yeah, 49ers? Let's go. Kyle Shanahan, he's probably going to, does he know about this? Chase Claypool, who Ryan Poles once gave up

a second round pick for. Yeah, that didn't work out. Yeah, it's sunset. And then Leonard Fournett, whose name was besmirched this week by Emmanuel Achu, who compared himself to him. People still listen to that guy speak? I somehow, unfortunately,

had this thrown into my timeline, people retweeting this. Were you watching Turning Point? They compared their careers. And I was like, did Leonard Fournette have 130 yards in the freaking Super Bowl that delivered

Levante David that Super Bowl? Good job, Greg. Okay, those were some names. Damian Harris, by the way, the most random player who my son owned a T-shirt for. He was a big Damian Harris. Just like a Damien Harris T-shirt?

Just like one of those kind of fake jersey T-shirts. It was a Patriots, Damien, David Harris shirt. Roll what they're going to put in his football reference bio. He owned it. So past tense, did he purge the T, too? Unfortunately, injuries, great, great player.

So we don't forget about you. And shout out to Mike Clay. I like that annual segment. Speaking of annual segments. Oh, boy. First dates. Let's get going with Connie, who came strong last year with an escape room.

Okay. concept. I really I went back to try to remember what this segment was like, so I did listen to that one in particular. And I think it was pretty telling of what was going to happen with the New York Giants and Brian Davel and everything that went on.

Let's see if this one can do it as well. Yeah, maybe I am clairvoyant. Who knows? Okay, this is a classy first date at a dimly lit steakhouse in Pittsburgh. So, the Steelers they get there early because of course they do. They've already scouted every single exit.

They memorize the menu and they also flash their six Super Bowl rings to the hostess. They're not here for a first date, guys. They're here to get married and start a family immediately. Whoa. That's all they're thinking about. So Mike McCarthy walks in, big Midwest energy, confident, a little winded, holding on to a resume that's laminated. Does he have a laminator?

Steelers start thinking to themselves, okay, this kind of, this feels familiar. Why does this feel familiar? And then the internal monologue sort of begins. Before Mike McCarthy even sits down, you could just see him weaving through the steakhouse here. And the Steelers think, okay, well, he's experienced. He's stable.

He's won a Super Bowl. This is good. This is good. Chill out. The Steelers' gut is saying, well, this is literally the same guy, we always pick. Great, good job. Okay, so appetizers come.

The Steelers say, you know, look, we're just really ready to build something sustainable here. And Mike McCarthy says, same. I love building, big builder. And the Steelers, who are already going through their head, thinking about baby names and what this potential baby could look like. Oh, no. They ask Mike McCarthy, okay, but like, what's your very? vision here. And McCarthy says, well, I think it starts with establishing things early. That's

what you got to do. So the Steelers, okay, they're sort of feeling a little dead behind the eyes at this point, but they are, they're there. It's still appetizer time. And they say, yeah, you know, we too love things being established. Okay, what? So halfway through the appetizers, the Steelers realized that they did a mic swap, panicked. They asked McCarthy, what separates you from Mike Tomlin? And McCarthy says, well, a lot of things, most of all, though, my system. So the Steelers say, okay, well, we really need clarity at the quarterback position here. And McCarthy leans in and he says, well, a reunion with Aaron Rogers, that'd be a good story. Steelers say a story or is this a plan?

And McCarthy says, well, sometimes the best plans are stories, guys. Bars. Steelers, are you currently waiting on his decision? Do you know anything at this point? McCarthy says, yeah. And so the Steelers says, so we're all waiting, too? This is just a big waiting game. McCarthy says, well, I think it just builds anticipation, you know?

Steelers are now internally spiraling. We said we wanted stability, and we're right back in the most unstable position, waiting on a 40-year-old quarterback we don't even have yet. Okay, so a TV in the bar plays NFL Network. the background. A Steelers game from last year is playing. It looks like it's a tight two-minute drill. The clock, it's ticking. Precision is obviously needed. McCarthy is watching calmly. Steelers ask, hey, what would you do here? Says, probably let it play out. Steelers, well, the clock is melting at this point. And McCarthy says time is relevant.

It's a social construct. So the Steelers physically recoil. And one of their six rings slightly dims at this point. Their Super Bowl rings that they're wearing one dims. So the Steelers, they say to themselves, we always do this. We say we want innovation and then we fall for the experienced guy with a laminated cheesecake factory meant. Awesome. But then the date takes a turn for the better when Mike leans across the table and he whispers. I'm keeping the 3-4 defense.

I'm letting T.J. Watt line up wherever he wants. Art Rooney finally cracks a smile somewhere. So the Steelers say, okay, well, when can you start? Like, obviously, they are spiraling a little bit inside, but they say we want to just make sure this is right. And McCarthy says, I get it, but sometimes you just got to commit, you know? And the Steelers say, you know, even if it's not perfect, but McCarthy's like, yeah, especially then if it's not perfect.

This is what you do. Steelers, why does that sound like every mistake we've ever made in the past, though? Desert comes. Steelers, we probably shouldn't like rush into anything. But like, what are you doing on Sunday? McCarthy says, I'm wide open. Steelers say, great, let's do this again. However, there's more.

There's a group chat that's going on. with the text messages. This is post date. The Steelers begin texting themselves. Wow. He's not exactly what we said we wanted, but he is safe, but he is, I don't know,

why are we like this? Should we just get married and figured it out later? McCarthy says, with his follow-up text, had a great time. I think we managed the clock pretty well. Steelers stare at the phone.

They know. They know. and yet they text back, had a great time to smiley face. I know it's bleak. It's over now. It's over now. It's over now. That's great. A close cousin to Colleen bagging on the Giants is actually

bagging on her in-state rival, the Pittsburgh Steelers. It's not a real rival. And I love the Steelers, by the way. Let me just say that. I know the draft's coming up. We're going to be out there in Pittsburgh. Oh, yeah. This wasn't the best idea. I do love a vaguely ambiguous ending where both sides are just like trying to convince

themselves into something and that the audience knows. The audience knows. A smiley face too. It's more like a pain, a little bit of a pain. But they want to get married. Figure it out later. It's one track mind. Figure it out later.

They can fix them. I do. I do like Mike McCart. is just like the, I don't know, the guy, the guy you settle for. The guy you know is going to be your second husband when you're going to get to three. All right, let's take a quick break. The guy who your friend zoned for years. Oh, no.

Now I feel so guilty and awful about this. I don't mean it, Mike. Yeah, I was only picturing the weird AI version of Mike McCarthy and Tom Pellasaro tweeted for some reason and not the actual Mike McCarthy. So we're good. Let's take a quick break. We're going to come back and then really to the space with a lot of NFL first dates. Going to Patrick next. The shade out.

The shade. Sorry we wrote long scripts, Greg. That wasn't the thing I'm talking about. I'm Daniel Jeremiah. And I'm Greg Rosenthal. And this is 40s and free agents. The games may be over, but the NFL never stopped. This is my favorite part of the calendar.

Yeah, mine too, Greg. Free agency, the Combine. The NFL draft Pro Days, trades. This is where teams reshape their future. This is where Daniel Jeremiah makes his money. On 40s and free agents, we break down. every move that actually matters. From my draft evaluations, mock drafts, and team fits, to my top 101 free agents and how

real rosters are built, cap space, contracts, and all the tough decisions included. You got quarterbacks on the move? We got teams rebuilding. It's hope season. Yeah, absolutely. It's hope season. We'll tell you what's real, what's noise, and what it means for your favorite team. Smart analysis, real conversations every week.

I don't know about the smart, but definitely analysis. The 40s and free agents on the IHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Back on NFL Daily. We are continuing our first dates. It is my turn. And this is a date that I envisioned. It's called Meet the Parent. Playing the role of the narrator will be myself.

Playing the role of Cowboys Executive Vice President of Player Personnel. Stephen Jones is Greg Rosenthal. Playing the role of Rashon Gary is Jordan Rodriguez. and playing the role of the owner and president of the Dallas Cowboys is Philadelphia Eagles fan Colin Wolfe as Jerry Jones. She's already getting into the seat position. I am. She's bellied up to the desk.

It's incredible. Let's begin. Rishon Gary is able to meet the new family in Dallas. We see Rishon walking into a bejeweled and bedazzled office, sitting at the head of the table facing backwards as the new boss, Jerry Jones, gazing aloft at the new boss, Jerry Jones, gazing aloft at the new house. three Lombardi trophies. When I look back on my life, I overpaid for my big successes every time.

Jones spins in his chair to face Gary. Rishan wonders to himself how he knew that he'd entered the room. And when I tried to get a bargain, get it a little cheaper or get a better deal on it, I ended up usually either getting it and not happy I got it or missing it. Gary looked around confused. Was he the thing that was over? paid for? Thank you.

I'm glad to be here in Dallas. I'm hoping our match is a fruitful one. Your defense has needed some help, and I want to provide it, attacking with the intensity of a wild animal. Jerry Jones stood pensively, gripping his fingers around the tusk of a razorback. My father had over 5,000 wild animals, and no matter what he'd hand someone a card and say, make sure you come see the monkeys. Jerry was interrupted by the sound of someone entering the room on a Segway scooter.

It was Stephen Jones. Oh, you found him. Sean, I just wanted to say, we're really looking forward to seeing what you can accomplish with us. We've needed production on the defensive. Jerry Jones abruptly rises, eyes turning an electric blue. He radiates aura. Levitating above the floor, his voice booms. Stats are for losers.

They relishing them. Dad, I'm only trying to say, we've been on the hunt for a talent like... Jones interrupts again, the floor of the room. room starts to illuminate as if being charged with pure energy. I enjoy being with my family and hunting and with my children. The scene shifts. What was once the bedazzled and polished oaken confines of the office become the dinge tones of the American West. How did we? They didn't even have to put any fuel in the plane. I flew up here all my own. My father's been doing this for a few years acquiring mystical offensive powers to hunt down fearful prey, using them as weaponry to take

down giants as well as commanders. There's one thing he's been unable to stop, though. Human resources? I give credit to the Eagles for being better at doing it than anybody else. He's transcended humanity in an effort to defeat the Philadelphia Eagles. Nah, he can't do that due to his most fearful opponent, organized labor. in our world restrained by the collective bargaining agreement and the NFL's bylaws. If you look at the teams that want to share more revenues, they're teams that don't have a lot on the table.

They've long since not had any serious investment in their team. If I'm to understand correctly, use this power to create a world of beasts resembling NFL franchise mascots in order to dominate. them? Yes, that's right. Jerry Jones streaks through the sky like a beam of light, headed straight for a lumbering giant.

There's something new about this giant, new but familiar. Jones overwhelms it with offensive firepower. I'm going to be honest, I'm not exactly sure why I'm here. I rush the passer. I was the top recruit in the nation coming out of high school. I'm a Michigan man,

which is a thing for some reason I feel compelled to say, despite there being little question regarding my gender identity. Jerry Jones, admires the machinery of the second beast, the commander. Its massive wheels rolling, powered by the still new engine that not too long ago dominated the lands of the playoffs. You look up there and see an army tank coming at you. You see it on a TV screen, it's one thing.

You see it out of movie theater. It's something else. When that thing's coming at you, it's 70 feet high and 180 feet long. Now that looks like a tank. He's not going to... Jones begins to... vibrate at a resonance that causes Gary to question whether or not he's breathing.

Is this air? Where am I? Suddenly the massive machine evaporates into green light. It's gone. Rishan, there's something we need you to do. What's that? The mystical eagle saw it high above their heads. It was wounded. It had clearly been nicked

somewhere over the stout land. And despite all the creature's successes, you could clearly see it was starting to hurts. Even when it's weak, something goes wrong, Rashan. You're joining us from a place that does things differently, an institution owned by a community, operating with a hive mind. We need that, Rashon. We need you. But that won't do you any good here. Are you sure about that? Jones sparked off as the sky itself seemed to fracture. The eagle soared

its way through the brakes within reality itself, shoving its way inch by inch into Jones's power. I lost my tolerance for a lot of things. I probably should have tolerated. And with that, in a flash, Gary was back at the facility, the star in Frisco, Texas. He knew this whole thing had become about one man. How could he make it about a team, a city, a community? If I'm going to do this, I need to

tap into this energy. Energy that only Jerry Jones is in control of. The end. I would like to thank my performers, and I would like to announce that all of the things said by Colleen Wolfe were things that Jerry Jones has actually said.

Wow. Whoa! I knew the stats are for losers because that's my favorites. Holy! Whoa! Clayvon, you outdone yourself again. Oh, my God. Thanks, guys.

That was incredible, and it was like... I'm trying to think of, like, there's a certain type of, like, poem where you have... There's, like, a different sorts of... Like, sonnets have different sorts of structure. Like, you set up a structure box that you had to fill with actual Jerry Jones quotes and it's amazing. The quotes were my god. My father had over $5,000.

That was an interesting one. That's when I caught on because I remember that quote. It was a question about Des Bryant's monkey. And somehow the Joneses had a zoo. I was trying to think, by the way, of the term a corona.

Do you guys know what a corona is? It's like a special It's a beer. Type of sonnet. Come on. They have that commercial with the The palm tree and Christmas life? You write...

That's are for losers. You write 15 sonnets. You write 15 sonnets and the 15th has to be comprised exactly with the first line of the 14 previous sonnets. Okay, Shakespeare. All right. Seems like... He reads. Like, why would you do that?

No. Look at the big brain on Greg. Just like, who would do that? All right, let's go. I'll go. We really, I think we're all... on mushrooms when we did that. We all went big.

I miss you guys so much. I'm so happy to be back. All right. This one's just more of a narrated one. All right, here we go. As night falls in the desolate corporate park that is Santa Clara, a single Waymo makes its way toward the 49ers facility. Outside the car, a rumbling, low droning sound begins to get louder and louder.

Unsure of protocol, the passenger Mike Evans asked to drive. driverless car. What is that sound? There is no response. But the track, the gentle hum of anxiety from the Oscar-nominated original score to the 2010 film, The Social Network, as written by Trent Resner and Atticus Ross, begins to play even louder in the Waymo before Evans feels so claustrophobic, he jumps out of the still-moving vehicle. Evans finds himself in the 49ers player parking lot, where John Lynch is waiting for him. Mike! Hope you enjoyed that Resner bond. We play it for every new 49er on their way in as a nod to our deep Bay Area culture. Evan surveys the surroundings.

Without the music from the car, the surrounding din gets louder than ever. There is a glowing light, a glowing light emanating from near the practice field. Evan sees a solitary rapper for a Tuscan Italian Jimmy John sandwich floating in the breeze. Is that a sound always there? Evans asked. Lynch's dead eyes stare at Evans. Let me show you around. Evans enters the facility and sees a world-class wait room, a cafeteria, and begins to relax. Ah, what's that over there?

As he points to appear at a storage closet. Inside, a man that looks exactly like Adam Schefter, but with thinning hair, types furiously. Oh, that's our NFL insider clone. We use it whenever we want to get out our 49ers message. we like to have at least one prolonged, unnecessary contract dispute every year in order to feel alive. So is that Trent Williams now, or is that Ayuk again this year? Oh yeah, he's still on the roster, isn't he? No, we're just holding on to him out of pure spite.

In that room, as Evans points to what appears to be, a room for employees' children with tidly winks and endless copies of the classic dogman series. That's that's Bosa's playpen, Lynch's response. Now Mike, we did want to say thanks again for taking such a below market deal to come chase a title here with the 49ers. We plan to make it up to you in creative ways. We haven't been punished by the NFL for salary cap violations since 2022. And that wasn't anything compared to the picks and the money we lost back in the late 90s. Or when the NFL made our owners sell the team for felony charges, involving a gambling boat fraud scandal and the governor of Louisiana.

Look it up. As Evans makes his way back to the building's lobby, the background hum was louder than ever. He ran his hands through his hair and noticed a clump falling out. What the? Ah, that, Lynch said. Happens a lot around here. Don't worry about it. Just take these. Removing a bottle of neutrophil men's hair restoration grooming products out of his pocket. Evans took a swig of the water and the pills.

As he swallowed, he notices dishes on every desk of the office, overflowing with neutrophil pills, with many employees popping them into their mouths like M&Ms. Don't they need to wash it down with something? Not if they want to be champions, Lynch says. Now let's get you back in that waymo, slapping Evans on the back and leaving a bruise. As Evans approaches the car, the nearby hum grows unbearable.

He suddenly feels a twinge in his calf muscle. His ankle is sore. He rethinking everything about his free agency process and takes out his phone to call his wife. As the number rings, a warm sensation takes over his entire body. His hair follicles are starting to tingle. The pills are kicking in. Mike? His wife answers. Is everything all right? Yeah, honey. I think you're going to love it here. That was so dark. It's so good. Oh, my God. Incredible work. Thank you for our executive producer, Eric Roberts, for the German. Sound design. Sound design.

And the sound design. The severance of it all. The Resner, Atticus Ross. Drop. Yeah, nobody was safe. Nobody was safe. Everybody could get it. The neutraful pills.

The bruise. Just the backslap, leaving the bruise. We caught what you did there. We caught what you did there. It was special work. I saw Greg grinding. when he was finishing it up. I was like, this is going to be some heat.

Starting and finishing it up as people were coming over to say hi. I'm like, I need to get this done. He's an artist at work. We're about to start. Crushed. NFL Insider clone is awesome. That's so good. They just keep them in there.

I mostly just imagine the secretaries all with the neuterful pills falling out of their mouse as they're trying to chew. Jordan. Sorry for everything. Wow. That was great. Thank you. It's incredible. Oh, my gosh. Okay. So mine is going to be read in the style of a mom trying to set up a date for her son who still lives at home, but the vibes have gotten bad.

Oh, no. I am the narrator. Patrick is Rose, the mother, aka Howie Roseman. Colleen is both Kelly and Maddie, who are the Bills and the Rams. Greg is A.J., and May, who represents the Patriots. And is a female.

2026, Greg. Just for the listeners. I've given you notes. Okay. Is everyone clear on their parts? Yes. Okay. Colleen just ripped the front.

Well, I'm like, okay, Kelly is the Bills and Maddie is the Rams, right? Yeah, okay. Great. A mother in her late 50s, Rose, is about to leave her house to walk to the local farmer's market one sunny Saturday morning in Philadelphia. Before she leaves, she stops by her son, AJ's room. He's 30 years old and back living in his childhood room. Rose has had it. Right now, he's blasting in the end by Lincoln Park.

She knocks, the music just gets louder. I tried so hard and got so far, and in the end, it doesn't even matter. AJ! AJ, son, if you can hear me, turn it down. The music stops. She hears a groan. Come on. She opens the door.

Behind him, Rose can see that the room is a mess. Books are everywhere. And sign jerseys. A suitcase, he always seems to have halfway packed lies open behind him. Honey, I'm going to the farmer's market. Do you want to come? Those lovely young ladies are always. They're looking to meet someone.

I'm sure of it. I think it would be good to get you out of the house. AJ shuts the door. As he does, Rose mutters to herself. Out of my house for good. I got to get AJ a change the senior. I got to find him a girl to move him away. I just know it would be good for him.

A mother knows what her son needs. Rose walks down the street to the market, grabs a couple of tomatoes and a cluster of carrots to make it look like she's casually shopping. But really, she scans the lively mid-morning crowd. Just as she thought, some of the neighborhood's eligible ladies are there shopping and mingling too. She's known their families for years and thinks any of them would be a good match for AJ.

She sees one woman in a blue and red puffer vest, cute, split from her group and walked toward the coffee cart to the wide right of the other kiosks. Seeing her opportunity, Rose Belines toward her. Kelly! Kelly, hi. Oh, hey, Rose. How are you? How's AJ doing? Is he still at home? Yes, and how amazing that you ask.

You know, he's working out every day. Have you seen him out on his runs? He looks amazing. Kelly, you should see him. I swear he ages in reverse, couldn't we all? Oh, yeah, Rose. Yeah, I've seen him out running. He still looks good.

Is he single? Any women would be lucky. Yes. Any woman would be lucky. He is. Can you believe it? And still in my house. It's amazing.

You should take him out. I always thought you two should get together. And who knows, the timing might finally be right. You crazy kids, if I have your eye only. other for years. I know it. Oh, oh, Rose, that's really cool of you to think of me. But I actually just started seeing someone, and it's already kind of serious. Like, he might be the one. His name is DJ.

We really found each other, you know, kind of crazy, right, out of his last relationship, too. But this just feels right, like, what I've needed. Ah. I mean, good luck with that, I guess, Kelly. I hope you don't regret not hanging on a little longer for my AJ. She turns away and beelines for another young woman. This one's standing in line for some hot chowder. May.

May, how are you? The woman, May, turns when hearing her name, then greets the mom warmly with a hug. Hi, Rose. How are you? Nice to see you out and about. AJ's still at home? I'm glad you asked. He is, and he is thriving.

Best shape of his life and a joy to have in my house. Shoot, I'd love to have him there my whole life if I could, but I can't help but think. Never mind. May. Oh, what is it? You say he's in great shape? Great shape and happy.

I mean, I should not be saying this, but Kelly over there was asking about him. I can't believe she would ask me about him before you did, May. You two girls were always competitive. Oh, I don't even know that AJ was still at home. But is he available? Maybe he'd be open to hanging out sometime. I don't know. Maybe I'll have to see if Kelly wanted to hang out with him.

She asked me first, you know. But he's definitely single. I always thought you two would look great together. Okay, okay. Well, hey, check in with me before you go back home. I'd love to see if maybe you can tell AJ you ran into me. Rose nods and smiles knowingly. Making sure that May is an earshot as she turns away, she exclaims,

Oh, is that Maddie? Toward a woman standing at a fruit stand. May watches her hustle over to the woman, and unbeknownst to May, Kelly clocks in to observe all three. Hey, Rose, how are you? I haven't seen you in years since I first went out to L.A. How's A.J.? Still at home?

Oh, Maddie, you look amazing. The California son agrees with you. And I'm always telling AJ, yes, he's at home and doing great, but he's never been in better shape. And what a joyful young man. Anyway, I'm always telling A.J. How much he'd love to be in that sunshine. A mother knows.

So are you seeing anyone? Oh, I mean, yes and no. It's L.A. I'm on and off with a few people at any given time. Nothing serious. I mean, historically, I've always targeted one guy. Now, I guess you could say I'm open to switching things up. Well, well, well, well, what a modern approach.

Well, if you're ready to settle down, let me show you what my AJ looks right now. The last time you saw him, you were just kids. You've got to see him. And he's in great shape, you said. As Rose rifles through her bag to get her phone to show Maddie a picture of AJ, Kelly and May both walk over. They've been talking animatedly to the side since

Rose struck up the conversation with Maddie. Rose, Kelly told me you approached her trying to set her up with AJ right before you approached me to do the same thing. Is that true? Ah, well, not exactly. I mean, what does it matter? Kelly's seeing someone. Now, wait, why would you come up to me

about AJ if you were already trying to set him up with Kelly and Meg? Ladies, I mean... She stammers, but finally sighed deeply and puts her phone back into her bag. Can someone just get this guy out

of my house? The ladies all walk away from her. As they depart, May looks back over her shoulder and calls to Rose. So, you said he's in really good shape? In scene.

Very good. That was Greg being thirsty. Which was one of my favorite notes. I gave Greg notes thirsty. thirstyer thirsty thanks guys Patrick well you

Oscar goes too you didn't specifically note that the mom would sound like she was from Vestavia Alabama but the way

she was meddling in her son's love life I appreciate you seeing the script and really bringing the character to life in such a profound way

I just imagine the whole time Howie Roseman dressed like Big Mama style problematically for the entire skit

And the voice was perfect for that. We got to have to have an editor's note. Imagination. Howie Rosemill was at no point in blackface. There's no Gruden involved in this show. We have a special closer here. Eric Roberts, you know, he had a bunch of ideas. This was his baby as an executive producer a year ago, had some great ideas we used then.

I'm upset. Nobody took the Malik Willis, Devon, A. Chan, and J. And Jalen Waddle and Waddle standing them up at a Miami nightclub. That was a fun one. But when I saw the Bills one, which felt like it was from a very deep place, I'm like, Eric, you got to just do this yourself. As much as you don't like being on the microphone, you're the man. Let's do this. All right, guys.

So I'm going to introduce, I will be the narrator. And to start, there will be a couple of the characters coming in and out. That will be explained throughout the dialogue. But to start, Greg, you are Josh Allen. Oh, Patrick. You are Khalil Shakir. All right. Here we go.

Josh Allen, DJ Moore, and the rest of the Bill's new wide receiver room gather outside of the soon-to-be-open new Highmark Stadium where a fan fest is being held to celebrate the new arena and approaching season. Josh Allen gathers his wide receivers and hands out name tags to Tyrell Shavers. Jalen Virgil, Josh Palmer, and so on. I know, guys, it's weird, but this will clear it up for people. They'll realize you're actually who I throw the ball to. We don't want any of you guys getting kicked out like the last fan of.

event we went to because people are confused. DJ, we're so pumped to have you. You're going to love Buff. Shakir is interrupted by a beanbag thrown by Josh from a nearby cornhole game toward Moore. Moore grabs it out of the air. Just checking. Like Guy was saying, it's great here in Buffalo.

We've got this new stadium being built. Did you see the size of those bison out front? Some of the most passionate fans. And of course, Shakir is again interrupted. This time, Josh throws a toy ball from a nearby stand that grazes off Moore's hands and nearly hits the floor. But Moore secures the ball before it touches. matches the floor. Just making sure. And of course, Josh Allen throwing you the ball.

That was a catch! Shouts Terry Pagula from a stage on the other side of the festival. That was a catch! Josh Allen and his group of wide receivers watch fans partake in winging in competitions, put each other through tables, and even use a virtual reality booth where fans can live out a life where Scott Norwood didn't kick it wide right. That miracle in Tennessee was called a forward pass. The bill's defense stopped. Patrick Mahoney. and company with only 13 seconds left. Or a 2026 Joe Brady led Buffalo Bills team wins the...

Hey guys, wait for me! A muffled voice makes its way through the crowd. Hold up, wait for me, guys. Hold on. I'm coming through. Josh turns around to see a familiar face making his way toward the group. Kian, you're late again. And see. I'm taking this maybe personally. Is that a shot at me?

It did kind of come together perfectly. I was like, it was late. I was like, oh, me. connect with the character. Perfect. I like that Eric got to live out his fantasies of all the alternate realities that that didn't happen. And we got to live out our fantasies as screenwriters here. Yeah.

And actors. I mean, you're still living it out as a voice actor. People, Patrick Claibon's available. Yeah, yeah, that's the problem. I'm like, I'm like Rose and George. I think we really showed some range. with Patrick today. We all assigned in parts we knew.

You would just take it and have so much fun with it. Oh, my God. I love a table read. I do. That was perfect. I am already brainstorming and thinking about 2027 first date. Who's going to be on that? Interesting.

Give me a 2027. I'm putting you guys on this. I would really like, I know where I want to go. All of us, maybe. I want to do a walk through a botanical garden. That's on the list. Yeah. My dream cast to participate in the table read would include Adam Schaefter, John Lynch, and Jerry Jones. This wasn't Adam Schaefter. This was a clone. A clone that they've created. Maybe Arden A Darn Schaefter.

Stats are for losers. Great show, guys. I love doing these shows with you. Let's hit the music. We are not done this week. This was an awesome show. But we are going to be back in the studio for our final show of the week. week. Jordan will be there. Patrick will be there. And Colleen will be somewhere wearing a matching like leisure suit. That's right. Everybody? I'll see you there. I'm Daniel Jeremiah. And I am Greg Rosenthal. I know that, Greg. We're teaming up on 40s and free agents, the podcast that owns the NFL offseason. This is where teams are built. Free agency, combine, pro days, trades. Every move matters. From my draft boards and mock drafts

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