NFL Daily with Gregg Rosenthal - The Twilight Zone?
Episode Date: May 18, 2017A room filled with heroes – Dan Hanzus, Marc Sessler, Colleen Wolfe, & Gregg Rosenthal – recap all the latest news from around the NFL including the completion date for the Rams & Chargers... new stadium being pushed back a year, and Alex Smith speaking out about his role with the Chiefs post-draft. Then, the heroes debut a new segment called “This or That?” where they discuss everything from the potential of young quarterbacks to jorts. This episode also features a brief cameo from one Conor Orr & a few trips to…the Twilight Zone.Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comNFL Daily YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/nflpodcastsSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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The Around the NFL podcast.
A collaboration that feels so egos.
Now, welcome back to another edition of the Around the NFL podcast.
My name is Jeff Hansis, and I'm joined with a room full of whatever you call yourselves.
We got the sizzleman, Mark Sessler, and Teen Wolf, Colleen Wolf, and the businessman.
Greg Rosenthal.
What's going on, everybody?
Hi.
God, that was so horrible.
What just happened?
Where are we?
Who are we?
It's an absolute coup d'et top.
Gotta get out of there.
Is your name Connor?
Yeah.
My flight's leaving soon.
I didn't recognize you.
Finally, it's happening.
Yeah, why don't you take that back?
Dan now violently taking the headset off of Connor's head and putting it back on his own.
Stridently doing so.
Connor, that's a way to go out.
By Connor.
It's good that Colleen recognized you, though.
I haven't seen Dan this upset since the episode we really did start without him, without him knowing.
Well, that's like going back to when we were starting this podcast,
and Greg was the boss.
He was like, well, maybe I should host it.
I was not going to go like that, Greg.
It was good.
It was fun.
I would do it again.
No, that was a deep, whatever that was, it was a deep violation.
It was years.
It was years into the podcast.
There was some code broken there, if I remember.
It was kind of one of those things where after the show was like, I wonder how Dan's going to think about that.
It shows, can you take a joke?
And we found out the answer.
That joke, by the way, from Connor.
was stellar.
I loved it.
That's how you go out.
Well, it's been a very weird week of shows,
and I credit a lot of that to Connor.
Yeah, Connor did a great job.
And he pitched this little idea,
and we were like,
not sure how that's going to go,
but I want to find out.
Yeah, I said to him,
listen,
it's either going to be very funny
or it's not going to work at all,
and then we can make fun
of how bad your idea was.
I think it was like right in the middle.
It was like right in between.
I like the Jeff Hanses.
I think that's what he said, right?
Yeah.
Jeff Hansis.
It was good.
Let's break it all down
It's analyzes joke
All right, bye Connor
Welcome to the Thursday edition
of the Around the NFL podcast
By the way, you are such a rat Greg
Because now that I'm thinking about
When you, when you did start the show without me
It was because you were trying to win a bet
That you had made with Wes or something
Oh yeah
That's why it was all fun
It was all to start by a certain time
Yeah, the show had to start by a certain time
And then you left to go get water
And so I just like
I wanted to win the sandwich
They went back to your addictions.
That's what it was about.
I mean, I was just, it was rooted there.
I, like you, it's whatever is good for the show.
I was playing into this bit that was on the show so hard.
Savvy moved by you.
Good job.
All right.
Today's show.
Colleen, thank you for joining us, by the way.
You're welcome.
This show is a real winner, I think, today.
Oh, you could already tell.
It's just careening on the tracks without any problems.
The amount of prep work done for this particular episode is it's kind of
stunning yeah in fact if if the listeners paid for this show I would feel guilty
oh please I would feel guilty but you know what here we are the four of us together
missing Wes of course but still forging on and I want to first of all a shout out to the
subreddit the around the NFL subreddit which we issued a challenge not two weeks ago
maybe even a week ago, I can't remember anymore,
saying we were sitting around 4,300 followers of the subreddit
and said, let's get it to 5,000.
And I guess I underestimated how much people want free stuff
because we said there will be a prize to be determined.
Flash forward to today, and I think we're at about 5,300.
Bribing works every time.
How many of those are bots, like not real people
or people interacting with others?
I don't really know how that the bot.
industry works?
I feel like they're humans.
It seems to be trending towards
another type of industry
from the bots that try to take hold
of my tweets.
They don't seem like very pure individuals.
Why do you say that?
They're mostly people with very little clothing on
commenting on a tweet that I did from like 2013.
It just doesn't seem real.
You go to their page.
The real excitement was the couple of days
before Mark realized that these were bots.
Oh, I thought, listen.
All these haughties that were in.
Oh, my demographic is fantastic.
fantastic at that point. By the way, the 5,000th listener, we know what they win, don't you, right?
Do we?
They win Sydney.
We're just sending Sydney to where.
You're fine with that, right?
Right into slavery.
Feel good about it yet.
That's not what I'd call it.
I mean, it could be slavery in a worst case scenario.
In the best case scenario, you either make a best friend if it's a woman or you fall in love.
If it's a man.
Carining.
The show is careening.
Feeling good about that best case scenario.
No, we haven't figured out what the prize was.
a shadowy league figure meeting to come
where I'm going to pound the table
to see if we can get something.
What about the toaster?
I thought it was going to be
I thought we could do better than that.
Did you guys?
Just a little better.
There was some.
I standards by you.
I would love a toaster.
We don't even own the toaster, by the way.
Sheck has it.
So it's like.
Even better.
There was a winner of an idea
someone brought up on the subreddit,
which was a personalized voice message
written by Cessler.
Whoa.
Sessler monologue.
It's a pretty low.
It's a pretty easy.
I don't know if I like that kind of stuff out there on tape.
Just one, though.
This is a special.
That's what makes it special.
Or how about this?
I will call them five to six thousand times over the course of a year.
You just made it.
Totally alienate them and they'll, by the end, they'll want nothing to do with.
So instead of having to write one short thing once, you would rather call them five thousand times.
Five to six thousand times.
So on today's show, we will debut the segment called this or that.
which will be a segment in which we will present two things,
this or that,
and then the group will decide which one they would rather have.
Is that what it is?
Something like that.
We'll have fun with it.
Yeah.
It's fluid right now.
It's very organic.
Connor came up with it on his way out.
He did a little producing work.
A lot of good ideas from Connor related to the show.
Two for two is what I said.
Is that a dig?
And then we will also,
course hit the news and to do that we look behind the glass and uh you know who it is
it's the first lady of the around the NFL podcast new money hey guys how's it going on this
thursday are we beeping out bitch or no in general because this is the second show in a row
i was just asked i certainly think we should show it is yeah it is okay we are being out
i could see shadow lee league's figures brain exploding within his skull and then the
fluids leaking out of the ears and nostrils if we don't bleep out.
The only one that listens to the show is on vacation anyway, so.
He's still listening.
I would say this.
It's almost worse to bleep out because the imagination then comes up with a much worse word or words or combination of.
All right.
Let's suspend bleeping out any foul language going forward.
Oh, sure.
Yeah.
Going out in flames.
My job right there.
Let's do some news.
You've just crossed over into the Twilight Zone.
Now, certainly, Colleen, you are somewhat knowledgeable of the Twilight Zone series, right?
Oh, expert, expert status.
Have you seen more than three episodes of the show?
No.
You've never seen a episode?
I mean, actually, it's very possible that I have seen the episodes, and I just don't remember any longer.
It's just been expunged from my memory.
Well, this came up yesterday, and there were people tweeting that were stunned that most of us were not Twilight Zone.
All of you?
A fish, you know.
No, but see, I would say I've probably seen 30 episodes.
I only saw, like, two tweets on that, which is not a big.
I'm 43.
It was on, it wasn't on, it was on not in its original run, but I also watched Channel 11.
It was, I was around.
You just seemed, you remember certain episodes so well.
I don't, I do not with that show.
Like, what, like, what episodes would you remember?
What, like, what's an example?
The one I cited yesterday, which is the good life about the boy that lives in this town and there, he could read minds and he's evil, and he could wish people away to the cornfield.
Talking Tina was one of my favorite ones
About an evil doll
That one I think I recall
Yeah I was more in a threes company
When I was little
That's a very different program
I watched that
A nightmare at 30,000 feet
With a young William Shatner
When there's a monster on the plane
On the wing of the plane
And nobody believes him
He's the only one that can see it
This is pop culture touchstone stuff
I just thought more people knew
No
Somebody made the point
The first of all
Very surprised West wasn't on board of it
And then also pointing out
that there are people that go back retroactively and watch the Twilight Zone
to better understand references on the Simpsons and other programs.
It was absolutely huge culture.
It's a huge cultural moment, but I think, you know, someone 10 years old.
That moment's over.
This was a 1959 series.
32 years old, out of the womb.
Here he is.
Greg Rosenthal.
Let's start with the news.
That new Englewood Stadium?
the one that we're all going to move to and work out of?
Yeah.
It's been delayed the opening.
No.
Until 2020, and you know why, we're all very, very aware of this.
The terrible weather over the winter, both clubs, that being the Rams and the Chargers,
have confirmed the one-year pushback on Thursday releasing statements that cited an unexpected amount of rainfall for a delay in construction.
The new stadium was set to open a time for the 2019 season, but now,
we'll be ready for 2020 in the summer.
And this, it was all a timing issue.
They broke ground in November 2016.
And then it just rained for every other day it felt like for about three months.
To the point, there was a six weeks span where it rained, I think, every day.
Yeah, you should have seen the palm trees.
What?
Per the LA Times, water at times stood up to 12 to 15 deep in the big.
hole the big hole that they were digging and everything's going to be okay it's a 2.6 billion
project but they're going to put a little delay on it so i think it's go ahead the chargers will
end up staying at stub hub then for an extra year too oh yeah good point like cozy nice quaint
atmosphere for two years about it mark about the stub hub yeah scenario yeah i think it's well it's
listen let's see where we are by the end of the year it could be great it could be
an epic mess. I think it'll be a lot of fun, but now they're cutting it close because the Super Bowl
will be played, assuming things don't change, in the first season that it's open. So they
scheduled it, and they usually do this with the new stadiums that you have one full season, like the
Vikings did last year, and then in that second season, that's kind of your first chance. Hopefully
they've ironed out the kinks and they figure out anything that was wrong in the first season. Then
you have the Super Bowl. So they'll be playing the Super Bowl there for, you know, five, six months after it
open.
I hope they send us in theory.
Maybe it's God saying that would be rude.
And chargers, sit down, be humble.
I mean, at that point, 2021 we're talking about Colleen.
Who knows?
We won't be here.
I mean, there's definitely a realistic, there's definitely a realistic chance that
that we don't have jobs here.
It's certainly in the realm of possibility.
We'll certainly be swept out by some form of management by that point.
There could be no America by that.
There may be no America by 2020.
We have been here, what, I've been here for five years.
There has been at least three to four different people running kind of the L.A. operation in that time.
So you get the wrong person in there.
Plus the threat of Earth's race and nuclear Holocaust, so.
Moving on, Lidarius Green.
So much for him making a big impact in Pittsburgh.
The team announced Thursday that they've released the tight end with a failed physical designation.
You may remember that just the last.
last year, Green had signed a four-year, $20 million contract, made $6 million for doing very little much and very little at all, I should say.
And he was supposed to be a guy that was a perfect compliment to that offense, but he had concussion issues and other injuries and they're not going to get anything out of their green experiment.
Colleen, a what if.
I'm not going to call a what if for the ages, but there was this idea we were glowing talking about the signing.
Last year, and it just never came together.
It was so exciting when they signed him.
I remember we were all sitting in here,
and the fact that they added him to that offense,
you have a big guy target for Ben Rathesberger,
and now they have Jesse James, Xavier Grimble, and David Johnson.
Oh, they'll be okay.
Jesse James isn't bad?
Jesse James, I thought, was pretty productive last year.
Well, you kind of saw what green could be for them.
I mean, he averaged 17 yards.
per catch he had a couple big games i mean he made some plays down the field but he is a young guy
he's turning 27 this year whose career might be over because of concussions this to me is strictly
because of his concussions and they weren't even sure if he was going to be able to be ready for
the start of the season so you feel for a guy he did get paid that that's great but he might be
yet another player seems like there's been more and more that they're
career might be ending early.
Most of them have appeared in our Making the Leap series.
Yeah, I was going to say another Making the Leap Star bites the dust.
Where does Colleen Xavier Grimble rank on your NFL name Power rankings?
Ooh, it's a great one.
It's a good one.
Yeah, it's probably top 25 maybe.
I'd have to go back and look at the rankings, but I haven't seen a grimble in a while.
It mixes like a very cool first name with sort of a clunky last name.
so it kind of throws you off.
Almost like a forest, like wood creature
would be like, oh, look at that grimble.
Right, right.
Grimble, or like a small rodent.
Yeah, I think that is a children's story.
Is it?
Look at the grimble.
It's something very close.
It's like a British.
You're not talking about Grendel,
the mythological creature.
My word, it's a talking grimble.
Exactly.
He has gold coins for us.
Let's follow him deeper into the woods.
How does the story end?
Poorly.
They get lost in the woods and starve to death.
Oh, okay.
Actually, it's not the starvation that gets them.
It's the fluids.
A classic children's tale.
Got to drink water.
Got to stay hydrated.
That's the moral of the story.
Kelvin Benjamin, remember when he was one of the young rising stars of the league?
He could still be that.
He's a young guy.
But the Panthers Wide Receiver struggled last.
season of his first year back from the ACL injury.
He's had some weight issues.
And then he was kind of put on blast by his coaching staff, came in heavier than the
coaches wanted.
And this is what Benjamin had to say on Wednesday via the team's official website,
I need to be in the best shape of my life.
I have to get back to being dominant.
Now, I was going to sound the trope alert, but this is a little different because usually
Kelvin Benjamin, if he's a perfect example.
Calvin Benjamin says I'm in the best shape of my life.
Troopalette.
Let's cut it, though, because he didn't say that.
He said, I need to be.
So he's acknowledging that he is physically not where he needs to be,
and he's got some time to do it, but he better get to work.
I think it's interesting with this team that under the same general manager
with the same quarterback, for a couple of years,
they stressed finding these massive targets,
Devin Funches, Kelvin Benjamin for Cam Newton.
And then in this draft, it's like they've added something they need.
They need a speed component.
But you go out and you get Curtis Samuel and you add Christian McCaffrey.
It's a completely different type of approach on offense.
Yeah.
And I think like in the story that Patrick wrote up, he has here that he said,
I think people saw that first way in and we're like, whoa, is he ready to play?
I mean, that's definitely a concern when he reads that on other people's faces.
You know what I think it's time for, Mark?
a little beach body
Beach body
Well
It surprises me
You put him and Devin Funchis on that
Both those guys
It surprises me because what is his job essentially
It's like an actor
You're supposed to keep your looks
You're supposed to keep your frame around you
As an athlete you've got to stay in shape
And then you let them away from the team
And they come back and they're not in shape
What are you telling an employer
That's paying you millions of dollars?
I don't give an FAPE
I agree
Got to get it together, bro.
Moving on.
Alex Smith.
You know, listen, he's still the quarterback of the Chiefs.
He's had a very nice career.
Maybe not what was expected as a number one overall pick,
but a perfectly solid quarterback.
But now he sees Patrick Mahomes in his building,
and he understands how this works.
He had this to say to ESPN.com.
I think the Chiefs are committed to me through this year.
That's just the nature of it.
If you don't go out there and perform,
I mean, Coach Reed,
and quarterback's coach Matt Nagy are very honest.
You've got to go out there and do your deal.
We all have to.
Whether or not we drafted Patrick, it doesn't change that, right?
If you're not good enough and didn't get it done,
you're not going to be around along.
That's just our culture.
I know it.
That's the nature of the position.
Greg, can you translate?
Translate.
I am Alex Smith and I am fired up to keep this kid on the bench
as long as humanly possible,
I am going to treat him like Brett Fav
treated Aaron Rogers
in trying to delay his career.
Woof.
Because this is a good situation for me
in Kansas City.
I'm feeling the heat.
I think it's well translated.
It's beautiful.
It's the perfect way to translate it,
but that's the best thing that he could say.
I mean, Alex Smith,
what is he supposed to say in that situation?
He said the exact, like,
textbook response that's perfect.
There's a little bit of rasp in your voice today,
Colleen.
Yeah.
I was,
I was away this past weekend.
That's right. You're on vacation?
I had one of my best friends from college got married in the Bahamas.
Oh, yeah.
You were doing the cliche Bahamas experience.
I mean, I wouldn't say that, Dan.
Well, that's what you said to me.
It was a beautiful Atlantis, and there were water slides, and I was in a tank with sharks, and it was wonderful.
Did you ride the dolphin?
I didn't, no, but I did ride a tube.
There was a tube in the water park.
Back to the rasp, though.
I mean, that comes directly from.
drinking alcohol, I would assume.
It does, yeah.
So there was a lot of everything.
Well, that's a good transition.
This actually is an intervention, Colleen.
So let's bring in your parents.
Here they come.
They're actually in town.
I know.
Yeah.
Omey or Mark, thank you for reaching out.
Sure.
That was really nice.
Good to have them in town.
And we're going to get through this together because this is not an attack, rather, a
communal experience.
This is the safe space on the pod.
She was told that John Gonzalez, she told us before he was coming in to do
the Dave Damascette show.
Who? Didn't you say that?
Yeah.
John Ronald Gonzalez, born March 12th, 1977, is an American sports writer who's
Mayor to NFL media broadcaster, Colleen Wolfe, John, who's a picees, resides in Los Angeles
with his wife and two dogs.
Every time I post anything online, everybody is who is John.
I get that a lot.
Is he a little bit annoyed by it?
Yeah.
No.
He's an established sports writer in his own right.
He's won an Emmy for his television work.
He's doing great work with the Ringer right now.
Yeah.
Covering NBA.
Uh-huh.
Everybody wants to know who he is.
John, does John listen to the show?
He does.
Yeah.
John, we know who you are.
And I think the listenership truly does.
Wait, he's not here for my intervention.
Well, that was the point.
He's not here for the Dalekschuk show.
He's here to talk with you directly.
This is one of those interventions where they try to separate the two people that both need an intervention.
Because you have to handle this yourself.
It's your disease.
Yeah.
And he's got to handle his own.
He can't help me until I help myself.
And besides, he said he got hung up because he's at the courthouse downtown taking wear of some paperwork, he said.
Oh, interesting.
Weird.
That adds up.
Yeah.
Okay.
I'll have to look into this.
Is that a divorce bit?
Yeah, it's a little bit of a divorce bit in the big spot.
How about this day?
Wow.
Wait a second.
This is breaking news.
No, that's not the breaking news.
Breaking news.
Grimble is a children's book, 1968.
A classic, a boy about 10, who returns home from.
school one day and his parents have left for Peru
for a week. But you also might be
thinking of the Gruffalo, which is about
another British children's
book where a strange
forest creature comes after you
called the Gruffalo. Here, follow
me into the woods. I'm a Grimbo.
That's what it is, except it's the Gruffalo.
I'll take you to safety.
Does the Grimbles
end with the parents being arrested? They take off of
Peru without telling their child?
It's kind of like a... It sounds like a home alone
type of thing.
Yeah.
I see you,
Grimbo.
Stay away from Sydney.
That's my property.
Wow.
That is, I mean, that is rude to even to say something like that, Mickey.
I'm really concerned about everything that's going on.
There's so many things happening.
Moving on.
Amir Abdullah.
He's been a darling of the fantasy community of this room in the past.
It's never really come together for the Lions running back who missed all,
but two games last year with an injury.
But Abdullah said any offseason discussions about adding a running back did not threaten his status.
He feels confident in his roster spot.
It doesn't bother me, here's the quote, to talk about that stuff.
But at the same time, I don't really care what really happened because I feel like I'm a better player than whoever they were going to bring in, he told the Detroit News.
It didn't matter to me.
That's just me being a player and a competitor.
Let's see.
They got Theoretic there, Zach Zner, Dwayne Washington.
Mark, where does Amir Abdullah fit into the lion's picture in 2017?
Bees healthy is their best running back in theory,
but it just sounds like athletes speak to me.
Everything that came out of his mouth right there is just mid-May fluff.
And there were a lot of running backs on the market that they could have signed in the offseason,
but they didn't.
So I think that's kind of telling that maybe they do think that Abdullah
can change things for them.
I mean, their rushing offense was awful last year.
It was an incredibly small sample size,
but I went back because it was part of this article.
I didn't watch the 25 touches he had.
He was a great player for the first game and a half of last season.
I know it's only a game and a half,
but some running backs don't show looking like a great player ever.
And he looked like a big time difference maker.
And the injuries he have haven't been like a torn knee ligament
or something where you think it's going to be a lasting effect.
kind of a freak injury. It does annoy me any team that has had sort of the same issue
over and over and over to position group. I feel as long as we've worked here, the Lions have
never had a running game. Come on, what kind of team and what kind of division would you want?
You want to be able to run the ball if you're the Lions. You've got to keep up with the Packers
and these other teams. Abdullah, here's the thing. You've got to prove you can stay healthy.
How many 1,000-yard rushers have they had since Barry Sanders retired? Is there someone in there
that threw in a couple?
Has there been one?
There has to have been a one or two.
I mean, a thousand is a low bar.
That's what I mean, but like I'm trying to think who would even...
It just seems like for as long as you can remember,
the Lions since Barry Sanders have not had someone to plug in there.
It's pretty ugly.
Reggie Bush barely topped a thousand, Dan, a few years ago for them.
But yeah, looking at these names, Riddick Abdullah, Jouik Bell, Javid Best for a couple
years he didn't get Kevin Smith remember he was supposed to be a star you're right they
Kevin Jones they have not had a guy other than that one season where Reggie Bush barely got over
a thousand for the last decade can you remember that's terrible that and Reggie made a real big deal
about rushing for a thousand I think that was the only year he did it and he went nuts and
I think he bought a bunch of in an age where that stat means nothing yeah bought a bunch of things
for his lineman which is a nice gesture finally in the news um
Well, it was.
I think he got like one of those things
where you stand on it and it goes by itself.
The segways?
Segways.
Oh, really?
I think he got a bunch of segways or cars.
There was something.
I feel like that's segways and cars are two totally different.
But I do feel like at least 30% of the segue market
seems to be like offensive line presence from their running backs.
And what do you do with them?
Why is that an offensive line present?
But it always is.
It's like, oh, yeah, he got us some segways.
If you're in L.A., what do we do?
Where are you going in a Segway in L.A.?
Without getting hit by a car or a bike or something?
Oh, really?
Santa Monica.
Like, people are zooming around in all sorts of weird things.
All right, I was thinking.
I'm not introduced to that aspect of life.
His first 1,000, I guess he had more than 1,000-yard season.
His first came as Miami's featured back in 2011.
He had 1,086 yards that season, and he bought his entire line segways.
So I did have the right.
That's amazing you remembered that.
Yeah.
We might have wrote about it.
I'm impressed.
Thanks, buddy.
Finally in the news, Tray Boston, the safety signed with the Los Angeles Chargers this season.
And the reason why it might go back to some dude at a gas station.
This is interesting.
Boston was trying to decide between the Chargers, bills, and Steelers and free agency
and said that the decision was made when he stopped in a Charlotte area gas station to fill up his tank.
I crossed two lanes to get to the gas station.
I pump my gas.
After I pump my gas, I put my wallet in my car.
after I put my wallet in my car, there's a guy with three kids and he asked me for a little bit of change or if I had a dollar or two, I gave him $20, humble brag.
So he tells me, thank you very much. Thank you so much. And God put me in his life for a reason. And in my mind, I'm saying you're here for a reason too. So in my mind, I'm saying, should I ask him, L.A. or Buffalo? And before I could ask him, my man told me, thank God. Thank you so much. There aren't too many people like you in this world. God's children. My name's Mike Daniels.
People call me L.A.
No.
Oh, I love it.
I love it.
That's crazy.
Great story.
I wasn't sure where the story was going.
Just crossed over into the twilight zone.
I mean, yeah, much nicer than the guy who told my wife after my laughing children went by that they reminded her.
of the communist that he killed in Vietnam.
Yeah, a better interaction in this case.
That was a lot true story.
You can almost make the argument that that guy came back
with some mental issues from war
that perhaps he saw too much.
Not to make any excuses for the guy.
Sounds like a monster of a human.
Wow.
Did your poor children even pick up on it?
No, they're too young.
He kind of muttered it, apparently.
Were you there?
No, I wasn't there.
I got a text right after.
Had you been there just a few days ago?
What would you have done?
had you been there,
where you start to start cleaning the house?
What are you talking to?
It's the strong silence.
That's what I'm asking.
Like, how would you,
how would you handle it?
The muscle comes in.
You know,
I'd probably keep walking.
Greg's like,
never happening.
Gregs sprinting down the sidewalk in the opposite direction.
No,
Greg.
Well, you don't really want to expose your two young children
to whatever unpredictable things could be happening after that.
I really,
I honestly,
I admire your honesty there.
Because you could easily have said,
oh, I'd get up in his face and I'd tell him what's what.
No.
It's like, no.
It's not, that's not Greg.
No.
Honestly, and I'm not a guy that has ever gotten into, like, a lot of fights or anything.
Maybe I got into one my whole life.
It would be hard for me to not confront that guy.
Yeah, I don't know.
It depends on what it is.
Depends on, you have to assess the situation.
I mean, yeah.
But I applaud you.
That's scary, though, too, at the same time because you don't really know what's going to happen next.
I mean, it's definitely better.
This guy is definitely better than the guy who told Jimmy has.
him to draft Johnny Manzo.
Was that it or something like that?
That is apparently how it went and that obviously, you're right.
That did not work out well, Greg.
There's also a scenario where a switch is flipped like Ralphie in a Christmas story
and you just tear the guy apart like he's Scott Farkas.
I could see that too.
Still waters run deep.
So keep that in mind for next time it happens, Greg.
You live in Santa Monica, which, you know, it's the vagrant capital.
of the city.
I've had a lot of stuff yelled at me where I'm like,
this is really embarrassing.
This was like a block from her house.
You'd have to kind of assess the thing.
But yeah, I think probably the smart play is, you know,
to keep moving because they're also there.
What are they going to be doing?
All right, moving on.
That's what's happening in the news.
Sorry for totally sinking.
No, that was, I think it was important to bring it up.
And I'm glad we talked about it.
Sydney, do you have, do you have odds and ends the jingle?
give me about 10 seconds okay this is what we need you to do I had no idea that I was
going to have to sing today it's not going to be odds or ends okay it's going to be this or that
okay to the tune of odds or ends or at least the background jingle you can take the vocal
any place you want okay don't blows I'm not I won't remember it's shorter than you always
think it's I know yeah it's tough okay okay ready when you are said
This or that, this or that.
It's time for this or that.
This or that.
I can never, I never know when it's going to end.
That was serviceable.
It's okay.
We'll get to close.
I'm tone deaf if you haven't already recognized that.
The funny thing is it's always solid until the moment where you go,
I wish I could figure it out at the end.
There's always the saddest West story that he's ever told is going to
Catholic school in Cincinnati and being a part of some type of chorus.
Oh, my God.
And being so tone deaf and he just couldn't sing.
Poor West couldn't sing.
But the nuns or whoever were the teachers, they couldn't take that.
So they put his ear on the piano and like listen to the pitch, learn how to sing.
No way.
Yeah, that's like a Catholic school thing.
You have to be in choir.
We did that too.
That is a bygone era now.
And I didn't go to Catholic school, but I didn't go to Catholic school.
went to what was known as CCD after school and you would hear horror stories even back
then there was one kid when I was in elementary school that had a what was known back
then as a rat tail yeah and as legend has it at our elementary school this kid that we knew
that went to the Catholic school had his tail ripped out ripped no no straight up by a nun
could be folklore oh my god anyway so maybe
U.S. made out easy.
Catholic school's crazy.
My parents ended up paying tuition for my sister's high school in pennies because they were so mean
to her.
So they paid the last installment in all pennies.
Wow.
And it was like $800 or so worth of pennies.
And they called the Federal Reserve.
And they were like, yeah, we need to get this amount in pennies.
And they were like, well, Mr. Wolf, we can only do that if it's a fundraiser.
And he's like, oh, yeah.
It's a fundraiser for Gwended Mercy Academy.
And they delivered like a Brinks truck pulled up to my parents' house.
Delivered them all.
But they were all in the little neat, like rolled packages.
So my mom and dad broke open all the packages and put different amounts in different boxes.
Wow.
And then my dad delivered all the boxes.
And my mom wrote a note to the principal that just said a penny for your thoughts.
Oh.
Bunsen burner blowtorch for the 80s.
Ages.
Yeah, they were awful.
They were awful.
Wow.
That story says so much about your parents.
Yeah.
And it's all good.
They're great.
I love the pettiness, the creativity, the vindictiveness.
Just the fortitude to fight through.
My mom had blisters, it said, all over her hands.
It's awesome.
Bound to come up during your intervention, which will start in about 40 minutes.
I want to circle back to the Detroit Lions running back situation since Barry Sanders.
James Stewart.
ran for almost 1,200 yards in 2000.
Kevin Jones ran for 1,100 in 2004.
James Stewart ran for another 1,000 yards in 2002.
I don't even remember James Stewart.
No.
I did.
Reggie Bush ran for 1,06, and that's it.
I believe James Stewart was on the Jaguars.
Yeah.
He was.
And again.
I remember Kevin Jones was a very likable guy.
Kevin Smith as well.
Running for 1,000 yards is not that.
big a deal you just need to get like what 250 carries which is in a ton i don't know if i
trust your math anymore i think i nailed that one average four yards of carry 250 nailed it
we're going to have to double check all right here we go now let's go around the horn um mark
this or that all right this football example or that football example you is that what this segment is
okay good oh really i think that's that works it's a little nebulous okay okay
So let's say you have a new franchise and you have a choice of one or the other coach front office combinations.
You can have either Hugh Jackson and the Browns, in quotes, forward-thinking front office,
or you can have Sean McBay in the Rams front office, this or that.
I see what you're doing here.
I'm going to take the Browns.
What am I doing?
You're doing it in a way to set us up to complimenting.
your team like, hey, we're not as big a mess
as some other teams out. A lot of people, if Sean
McVeigh, everyone wants to treat the Rams like
they're this really special thing happening, then
get on board with them. I guess it's actually
now that I think about it, it's a tough answer because
Wade Phillips comes along with the Rams.
Whereas Greg Williams comes with the Browns, that's a
trade you definitely take for the Rams side.
The Rams have struggled here with this front office for
a while, and we haven't seen anything out of
McVeigh, and I feel like Hugh Jack
is a solid head coach.
I am going to go with the Browns.
I'm with Greg.
I'm going with the Browns, too.
I really like what they did in the offseason
with the offensive line.
And I like that, look, they brought in Kenny Britt,
which I don't know.
It's a terrible move.
I'm going to gloss over the quarterback situation.
It's an awful move.
And Kenny Britt's sounding is terrible.
It's so bad.
I do like what they did on defense.
I'm really like stretching right now.
Mark looks like you just stole all the center piece of their offense.
But I like what they did with the defense because you have.
had Jamie Collins there already, and you brought in Jason McCordy, and the guys that they
drafted are studs. You have Miles Garrett, who people are already like, oh, my God, Greg Williams
and him are these alpha personalities, and they're going to take over. So, yeah, I'm going
with the Browns. You realize Kenny Britt is, like, four months older than Terrell Pryor, by the way?
He's like 28, right? Yeah. I feel like Kenny Britt has been in the NFL for 17 years, and the
Terrell Pryor is not, but he's not, he's barely old. Heiled him over to Cleveland.
He has bad knees, but, uh,
No, definitely the Browns orc.
Wow.
Definitely.
I don't need anyone to say the Browns, by the way.
Things are looking up.
I just like, in the Leave land.
Like that, the look on your face when he killed Kenny Britt a minute ago,
it was more like disappointment and sadness than anger.
I usually don't see that.
No, but honestly, no.
It was vastly unnecessary.
No, because Colleen brought up Britt, which surprised me a little bit, frankly.
And I could sign off on basically everything the Browns have done this off season,
except for the prior for Brit tradeoff.
I will tell you what is a terrible move
and one reason you don't pick the Rams front office
is just to confirm your own in-house transactions
you give a massive extension to a guy like Tavon Austin
who doesn't deserve it.
This is what the Rams, at least with Jeff Fisher,
they did this kind of stuff over and over.
You don't want to see that from your front office.
But that was, Jeff Fisher was prominently involved with that.
I mean, okay.
The general manager there is certainly part of it.
He picked him.
I don't know what's going on with less need.
Like, is he, is less need, like, heading into that, that danger zone, like a Doug Whaley situation?
I think.
Is that where we're...
Well, certainly if they keep losing, you don't keep a GM job in the NFL in perpetuity,
but I think he's getting a fresh start here with McVay.
I think they're going to give him a couple years here to see if this relationship works.
No, but by that, I mean, is there someone else in the organization that could usurp him in terms of power?
No, and they actually love him.
He's getting a nice run here.
All right, Colleen, it is time for you to offer a this or that.
Okay, I am still coming up with one, so I'm going to go with one.
Do you want me to go and you can have a little more time?
Why don't you go first?
I'm going to make mine real simple.
Yes, Greg.
This or that?
It's just you have a franchise and you can choose which quarterback, which one do you want?
this or that,
Dak Prescott or James Winston.
West is always saying, you know,
why do we have to compare Winston and Marriota?
How about compare Winston with another one of the best young quarterbacks in the league?
I'll go James Winston.
Wow.
Really?
Yeah.
It's good.
I agree.
I will also go James Winston.
I believe James Winston is on the verge of...
Greg is fist pumping.
I don't know why.
Well, it's clear everyone has some sort of an agenda.
So far.
So far so good.
James Winston, I'm just surprised you didn't say Marcus Marriott.
I think that wouldn't have been the answer.
I think Winston is, to me, as a higher upside,
Prescott had an amazing rookie season,
but I can't, I don't want to hold it against him.
But if you put James Winston behind that Alboys offensive line,
then he might have been the MVP last year.
With Ezekiel Elliott behind him.
Yeah, with that whole setup.
And I think Prescott, if you put him on the bucks,
maybe they could do some things and maybe they'll be a playoff team.
but I think that Winston is just a superior player to Prescott.
Yeah, I think that the offensive line has a ton to do
with the way that Dak Prescott performed last year.
But I'm going to go with Dak Prescott
because I don't want to go with the rest of the group, okay?
Yeah, I wanted to kind of test, okay, where are we at?
Because, yes, I think that what you guys are saying is right,
and I would lean Winston, but the case for Prescott is that he did that as a rookie.
Right.
Just like James Winston got a lot better as his second year,
like Dak Prescott very well could get significantly better,
and be like a legit like MVP candidate or something like that and like I don't know you don't see rookie seasons like almost ever so it's crazy I don't know what it's gonna be I don't want to yeah and it's not fair to doubt him so I won't but it I still the thing with the Cowboys last year and I've said it before on this podcast everything went right everything went right throughout the regular season it was like this perfect thing was even when you think back to Tony Romo's goodby's press conference in November and he was speaking like this is this is this is
There's something really special going on with this team.
There was a general belief in the league that the Cowboys had this like Super Bowl mojo
and then Aaron Rogers assassinated it.
But that was a perfect season.
I want to see how Dak Prescott and company reacts to a little bit of adversity
because I can see that happening.
Right.
The one thing I would say, yes, you can point to the Cowboys and say,
oh, imagine quarterback X being in Dallas and how great they'd be.
But how hard is it as a rookie who came in with not a lot of draft pedigree to take
over the job of the Dallas Cowboys quarterback.
One of the most pressure-packed positions in all sports.
And he did it in a tough situation with Romo going through what he was going through.
And you never heard a negative word from Dak Prescott.
He handled it really well.
So it is tighter than maybe I thought it was out of the gate.
I got one.
You got one?
All right, Connie.
Based on personal agendas, let's go to the NFC East.
And the Giants or the Eagles, let's just, uh, maybe do that the whole team.
Their offense.
Take their off.
Would you rather the Giants offense or the Eagles offense?
Oh, offense.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Sounds like an idea.
So you have.
And you have them, you have them forever.
You have them forever.
You have them forever at their peak.
That is tough.
I don't think it is.
At their peak?
Carson, yeah.
What do you mean at their peak?
At their best.
All their players are healthy.
What does that even mean?
All their players are healthy.
Right now.
But right now, moving forward.
So it's not like 2011, Eli, Manning.
No.
No, it's right now.
You got Carson Wentz there.
with Alshon Jeffrey, LaGarra Blunt, who they just signed.
I absolutely go Eagles because Eli Manning's got like another,
you automatically have to find another quarterback to come in and run that offense.
Carson Wentz, you start with the quarterback, you build around him.
It's easier to do that.
I'd rather the Giants offense.
It's not close.
Yeah?
Yeah, because I'm definitely, I haven't given up on Eli.
I think he's healthy and can have a bounce back season,
and he has the best role players around him ever.
But you're going to have to find a quarterback in the next seven hundred days.
running game in the 700 why because it's it's going forward it's not just for this year how long i'm
going to look for i think he probably has like three or four years left so i'm not going to leave me on that
it's close for me because as good you know as much as we like carson wens and as bad as we think
eliz manning was last year elizabeth man was still better than carson wens last year and i'm very you know i was
very critical of no i get it i get it and then the offensive line in new york is certainly inferior
year, but the skill position talent, I would definitely trust over Philadelphia.
That wide receiver.
Like, Alshan, like, we'll see how that works out.
I mean, ask the Bears about how much he helped their team last year.
I think they have mixed feelings.
Tori Smith.
Tori Smith has no guaranteed money for a reason.
Jordan Matthews, he's there right now.
I don't know if he's there long term.
So it's close, but I'm taking the Eagles anyways because I do think Wentz is going to get better.
And I always want to believe the best in the Eagles.
That's why I pick them to win the division just about every year, and it almost never works.
It does.
Great.
we don't do that anymore, then.
Nice agenda, Colleen.
Yeah, thanks.
I have my own agenda, surprisingly.
Okay.
Jets or a corpse.
Here we go.
Again, Mark.
I'm going to go to corpse.
The factory of gladness over there.
Just wait until the season is.
Like, you can, listen.
Just wait.
Here's the problem.
Here's the problem.
The season is going to be a rot fest for both of us.
I'm just enjoying this time best I can.
You can sell the corpse for some organs.
Absolutely.
Get some cash for that.
Jets, I don't know what you do with that.
Good one, Dan.
On to Greg.
Yeah.
On to, you guys are very funny.
All right.
On to the throne of sleaze.
We come in peace.
They seem friendly.
I say we trust them.
How great for our planet.
this or that more columns debates long forms essays photo galleries about how the patriots won the off season or a root canal where the dentist runs out of novocaine so he hands you an oak stick and commands you to bite down what do you want this or that oh definitely the photo galleries and columns that's that's the world we live in it's happening anyways
So I didn't know this is, I don't, you really stretch the bounds of this or that, though.
I don't even know what this is or that is.
Wait.
You didn't just come up with that?
That was typed out over lunch as I thought to myself, what a terrible segment this is.
Oh, no, wait, does that come with the reality that the Patriots are no longer a power on any level?
Or is it just that people don't pay attention to the best team in sports?
I don't know.
Everybody stopped talking about the Patriots for one second.
is all I want.
I just want to ease.
I hate going to a dentist more than anything.
You choose the biting on the stick.
Send me to the dentist office.
Let's get to work.
What kind of dentist do you go to?
He's a not a good dentist.
Oh my God.
He's a terrible dentist.
Mark, you got another one?
Okay, this or that, you can have your favorite team win the Super Bowl this season,
but you must spend from now through February in a vow of silence.
You cannot speak to anyone and must live alone in a sealed off underground layer.
deep in Canada somewhere.
That.
All right, hold on.
Or football will go away forever tonight at midnight,
but one day a month for the rest of your life,
you have the ability to fly for hundreds of miles at a time over Earth.
Oh, I don't know, that flying part kind of sounds good.
But football does not exist.
Is this Qualis 2 Fantasia?
Huh?
Well, I also don't know what the game is,
so I'm just doing what I feel like at this point.
That's fair.
Well, then we lose our jobs, too, if football goes away, right?
or something.
Yeah, that's, that was the thing I was worried about.
Well, let's say that your ability to fly would quickly have you wanted in other areas
and you'd be far richer than you.
You could make the money back with your flying.
You'd have an incredible skill to market.
You'd be like a one-man, you know, FedEx.
Or the government could take you and dissect you to figure out how you're flying.
You could fly to where no one would find you.
So I'd be alone, though.
Oh, because I like the idea of having cover somewhere in Canada, just, you know, with like
everything that's going on right now.
That doesn't sound so terrible.
Yeah.
But now that I could fly anywhere, too, where nobody could find me,
this is also a viable option for me as I go on the run.
You couldn't fly to a politics, but you just couldn't fly to a football game because there
would be none.
I like the scenario where football isn't dead.
Yeah.
So that one.
Yeah.
Yeah, I'll go with that as well.
I was going to say.
And your team wins the Super Bowl.
Why are we all so down?
Well, the vow of silence and you're removed from your family and things of that
Yeah, but you're doing it.
Here's the thing.
Let's say you were doing it for...
That's more important than me.
I mean, I don't want to.
Let's say you were doing it for the New York Jets.
Yeah.
You would come back as an absolute hero.
You took this agreement.
The New York Jets would know forever that Dan Hanses is the reason this happened
because you didn't speak for a year.
Does that open up a whole other can of worms, though, that they only won because I colluded
somehow or other kids colluded with us?
I mean, I also type this out during lunch, so I don't have all the background.
I just think, yeah, I don't think either option is really that appetizes.
Right, and it depends.
I'm, I mean, it's a threat, this or that.
Right, it's a throne of ease type of comment, but, yeah, the Patriots have won two of the last three years.
Oh, really?
Like, there's been enough.
I've had enough, you know.
How much is enough?
I knew that you wouldn't care about the Super Bowl part.
I mean, I care.
No, but so I came up with the other option, which is no football.
And your Twitter bio simply says football.
Right.
So you'd have no bio.
Say football.
I don't want to ruin football for everyone and take it away for everyone.
So then you have a vow of silence for a year.
I can live with that.
In Canada.
And the Patriots win the Super Bowl again.
Terrible for Dan.
Canada doesn't sound that bad.
Hey, you know, my wife might not mind that vile of silence.
Oh.
Poor Sydney.
I do like the idea of football disappearing and Greg just having to change his bio to nothing.
Just be like one day later, I'd be like tennis.
Okay.
I know Colleen's fresh out, as am I.
I know, I have another one.
You got another one.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay.
So, today I saw on Twitter this new, this new fashionable thing that you can wear.
So this or that, would you rather?
Or I mean, this or that, sorry, it's not what you rather.
Detachable jeans that turn into shorts.
Like at the, like a foot down the leg or something?
Yep.
So they turn into jorts?
Yes.
So that's important.
Detachable jeans that turn into shorts.
jorts or sneakers with wheels that can come up or down so if you want to if you need to get somewhere
quick i think i've seen a couple kids wearing those this or that frankly i'm surprised this didn't
involve the uh the male rompers that's good for you because that's quickly becoming we're
almost in a post romper you've kind of moved down already right right it just shows that you're
ahead of the curve um what would i rather have own this or that not anything but
about rather.
I definitely don't want to wear jorts under any circumstance.
No?
No.
And I feel like if I could master the nature of the wheels on the shoes,
it could come in quite handy if you're running late at the airport.
Right.
You know, I'm very scared about missing my flights.
It's so awful traveling with Dan because every second that ticks off the clock,
he's looking at his watch and he has to be at the gate.
It's my worst fear is missing a flight.
Oh, it's great though sometimes.
What to miss a flight?
Yes, because they don't, they will be like,
oh, we'll reschedule you, and you get put on, like, four hours later.
You can go to the airport bar.
You can hang out, or they'll put you in a hotel overnight.
It's really good.
You love hotels no matter where they are more than I do.
If it's not your...
Like an airport hotel isn't the coolest thing in the world, typically?
I don't know.
It's pretty great.
Mark's like, no, actually it might be the coolest thing in the world.
Anything else, guys?
I had a last one.
Okay, go ahead.
I mean, I had a very, like, football generic one.
and I feel like we can't go back to that at this point,
like talking about which offensive line is better, you know?
Let's hear it, Mark.
Well, all right, so you must spend the rest of your life
as either a Lions fan or a Jaguars fan.
Oh, I'm Lions fan.
That one's easy for me because I want the tradition
and that they've been a team for, like, a long time,
and eventually I think they'll win.
I like the fact that their fans have been around forever
and they're loyal and they've stuck with them.
So I think the lines.
They get a Thanksgiving game at noon every year.
How fun is that?
Yeah, it's easy for me too.
The Jaguars and Jags fans, by the way, should get credit.
The ones that are loyal that they haven't had much to cheer about.
So they deserve a lot of credit.
But the lines have the history.
They're one of the original teams.
I'm going to.
I don't know.
I like that woman, that Jags fan that has a house at the beach or by the.
It's not at the beach, though.
And I was in Miami with my new beach house.
Well, it was a couple minutes from the beach.
Like, I kind of want to hang out with her, so I'm just going to pick the Jags.
Right.
It's more likely you'd be living maybe in a warm climate rooting for the Jags.
That's a positive.
I think I would go Jags.
Wow.
Well, I just, and it's, I know Kevin Patcher's suffered forever as a Lions fan, so respect to that.
But there are certain teams that ever since I've started watching football,
I just find kind of boring, kind of annoying in the Lions or in that group.
for me. I just don't like... But the Jaguars aren't?
The Jaguars are not in a much better group, but they're in a little bit of a better group.
I kind of like... I think that here's what happened.
Had the Jaguars started to turn the corner about a year ago, the whole energy around that team would
have been amazing. Instead, it's like you've let us down so many times that we now simply
don't believe in you at all. But I do think that if they got good, it would change a lot.
It would be fun. It'd be a fun team.
There you go. That is the end of the game.
Are you ready, Colleen? A lot riding on this final.
Is this the intervention?
Oh, okay.
We're getting there.
That's after we stop.
We're actually not going to do that on the air here.
But here we go.
Wrap it up, Connie.
It's time for this or that.
This or that.
Hey, everybody, put on your this or that hat now.
That's pretty good.
It's getting better.
It's getting closer.
Pretty good.
We will be back on Monday with another week of shows.
and you're not going to believe what we got up our sleeve.
Oh, my God, really?
All right.
We don't have anything yet.
But the goal is by the time Monday rolls around,
we're going to have some big time stuff up our sleeve, aren't we great?
It's going to be a lot of plans.
Two of you, I believe, will be.
Is that true?
You're not here next week?
I sent you guys the spreadsheet with our vacations.
I am gone all next week.
That's amazing.
Oh, really?
That's true.
He really did send it.
I actually did update the spreadsheet to include my off days as well.
Okay.
So it's just Greg next week, right?
I will be here.
Greg's like, finally.
Colleen, I think it's safe to say
will be heavily involved in the programs next week.
Are you around?
Depending on her availability.
Looks like I'm free.
Please be around.
We are, you know, yeah, peeling back the curtain.
We're scrambling a little bit without Wes here now
and this time of year.
It's a little tricky with off days,
but we will be back and we will,
we're going to deliver the goods.
So many things up our sleeves.
And if he's listening, sending our best thoughts to Wes,
who we will see tonight at our softball game.
Do you think people are still listening?
I was wondering if Wes and perhaps the paramour were listening.
I'm sure they are.
Good luck with softball.
Did you find another girl?
We did.
We found we were short and we've tried so hard to get Connie to help us out.
I've made offers to-
Literally, the game was almost canceled because you wouldn't
to it tonight.
My parents are here.
We're doing a little bit of a thing for my health.
Oh, yeah, that's right.
Right.
So I can't make it because I have a intervention.
Yeah, that's a good point.
You're going to be on a plane to passages in Nova Scotia, Canada.
Who is?
Who is playing?
Oh, you want to know who's playing?
Oh, yeah.
I'll tell you he's playing.
A little breaking news right here.
playing now batting number 14 the right fielder new money number 14
guys guys really no don't cheer please don't
Cindy's like if you guys need help in a pinch I'll be there for you but just one
problem I don't have a glove and I haven't played sawp ball in what over a decade
Not quite a decade, but at least since I've played it before.
You'll be fine.
I hadn't played since middle school.
You'll pick it right back up.
How much did she, how much money is she commanding for this?
I had to start another go fund me.
Yeah, I mean, this is going to be good for you, Sydney.
Just get away from the focus on materialistic objects and, you know, things of that nature and be part of a team.
Wait, you're going to pay her and money and you wanted to pay me and beer?
Well, you got to pay what the people like the most.
Fair, it's fair.
That's the whole intervention thing.
But it actually now makes sense.
Why would we bring you to a beer-based softball team?
Yeah.
Considering what's about to happen.
You can't enable that way.
Enough with the enabling around Colleen.
All right.
Sydney, on Monday, we will have a full report on how the team did, including Sydney,
who I promised no pressure on Sydney.
We just needed somebody out there and we're going to find her a glove.
And who knows, maybe it'll shock the world.
Well, let's hold off on any promises until it actually happens.
all right well let's let's head let's take it home let's do that yeah that's how you talk
this is dan hansis signing off for quiet storm connie fox the old boss a new money behind
the glass batten seven till monday
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