NFL Daily with Gregg Rosenthal - Top 20 free agents of 2016
Episode Date: February 12, 2016A room filled with heroes – Dan Hanzus, Chris Wesseling, Marc Sessler and Lindsay Rhodes – discuss all the latest news from around the NFL, including Magic Johnson saying he wants Peyton Manning t...o play for the LA Rams, and Chad Johnson’s gross remedy for sprained ankles. Then, the heroes break down the top 20 unrestricted free agents of 2016 before jumping into an offseason edition of “Cual es tu Fantasia?” Plus, an appearance from Chris Wesseling’s personal college football insider, Spice Rack.Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comNFL Daily YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/nflpodcastsSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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This is an I-Heart podcast.
The Around the NFL podcast features Chris Wesleyan's time machine.
Welcome back to another edition of the Around the NFL podcast.
My name is Dan Hansis.
And I am joined by a room filled with heroes, Mark Sessler, Chris Wessling, and Lindsay Rhodes.
What's up, boys?
Hi, guys.
Girl.
Hey, Dan.
Your name, you're very famous, Lindsay.
Everybody knows that.
Oh, then I start to the show.
The female face or womanly face.
You know, sometimes women don't like to be called females.
What?
Working my way through this.
Who are these females?
The woman's face of the NFL network.
And yet closing, like Greg Rosenthal works, Lindsay Rhodes.
It's tougher.
Let me try it again.
Lindsay Rhodes.
That's not bad.
Just doesn't have enough syllables?
It's a bit, I mean, it takes practice.
And that was the first time I ever did it.
Well, I thought it went well.
You're a true pro. I think he did a good job there.
Greg remains on sabbatical or something like that.
I don't know.
How do I describe what he's done this week?
Guys, did you hear?
Did you listen to the Jeslynik podcast last night?
I did today, actually.
Did you know about this, Lindsay?
Was he on it?
Sidney, do you have anything on this?
I think I might. I think I might.
Welcome to episode 16 of the Rosenthal and Jesselnik Vanity Project.
Oh, my God, guys.
OMG.
So he, let's just, let's piece this together.
He stayed back in San Francisco.
Oh, Greg, enjoy the rest.
Great job as a boss this season.
Great writing.
Great, you know, scheduling making, you know, working out personal problems with the crew and cast.
Right.
Now, we're a high maintenance lot.
Yeah, we are.
And then this, I'll enjoy yourself.
He says, I'm going to sit out the week.
You guys do the podcast.
It's like, cool, cool, cool.
What happens?
Wednesday comes our first show after the Super Bowl,
not on our show,
sneaks in the old back door at NFL Network Studios
and records with his best buddy.
What are we going to do about this?
The reality is your butt is sitting right where his butt was sitting yesterday.
Yeah, he's going to have a hot butt over this.
I'll tell you that.
Lindsay, tell us that we're not overreacting to this.
No, he clearly prioritizes the other podcast over this one.
Wow.
Yeah.
Yeah, as an outsider.
Unbiased in this situation, I think that's the only read.
And I always had, well, so I always had suspected this, but now it's...
Harbored suspicion.
Now there's no way to hide it.
It's a bit of a wake-up call.
Well, the other podcast has his name on it.
Well, it's fair.
I mean, we're newbies in this industry.
You've been around.
How would you handle this if it were your boss?
I'm not defending him.
But he were also, at this point...
Yeah, what do we do?
He's moving into rival.
He's clearly, you know, drawn a line here.
You know what you should do?
What?
Talk about it on your podcast.
And we'll, I mean, listen, this is, we're not going to hide from Greg on this.
When he comes in, he knows he's got to talk about it.
He made that decision.
He made his bed in, guys, I didn't really want to have to do this either, but I promised I would.
So I will.
I declare vengeance.
I'm my own boss.
For the second day in a row, vengeance on your supervisor.
So this is going to go very well.
I threatened vengeance, I think, or that's what I was trying to convey yesterday.
Now it's official.
What does your vengeance?
entail you don't want to know us this is the thursday edition of the around the nfl podcast sponsored
of course of course by scott trade a good man and a great business entity mark uh you like
money oh yes i do would you like to have more money yes i would you want to know what a portfolio
is please tell me you want to know how to diversify your assets inform me well i can't tell you but
i got a buddy named scott scott scott trade that can well that's what
makes this world good.
Today's show is a good one with Lindsay.
Love having Lindsay here.
Colleen was seated in this chair to my right on Wednesday.
Now Lindsay, Colleen, Lindsay and the old Zusser had a fun night at the Jake Laser
party during Super Bowl week.
That was a lot of fun.
So it's like it's fun how we have, you know, we party last week together.
But now we're all business.
Now all business.
And nothing that happened that night will come up.
No, never, never, of course.
So, yes, this is what we're going to get into on today's show with the top 20 free agents.
Greg, who, as we reported earlier, did another podcast.
I mean, it's a much lesser podcast that downloads are a fraction of this show.
But the decision was made to do that show instead of ours.
Greg did write a piece before, you know, he went full Judas.
On the top 20 free agents, unrestricted free agents on the market with free agency,
God, is it less than a month away, the opening of free agency?
It's a good question.
It's in that realm.
It's in the realm.
It's very close.
So we're going to check that out in Wes.
Also, he looked at Greg's list and he came up kind of with his own top 20.
Am I correct in that, Wes?
I did.
And I averaged the two of ours out.
We can do that any kind of way you know with a map.
So we'll have some fun talking about that.
Speaking of talking, also coming up is the Combine.
We'll be there.
And, you know, that maybe not our forte.
as a group, so we reach out for some help.
We're going to try to get Daniel Jeremiah on the show before too long.
Old Michael Berger downstairs,
who is producing the path to the draft program.
And the path from the draft, I'd like to see that show.
Well, that would be us.
We might have him on.
You know, just people that are in the know,
Michael Berger, heavy NFL insider when it comes to the draft.
But we're also going to get back on the phone,
our old friend, Wes's college football, Sven Ghali, in the desert, spice rack.
We're going to get him on the phone.
Hopefully goes better than the last time.
The last time went perfect.
Well, you can look at two ways.
And we will bring back your game.
Finally, a game of fantasy, of allure.
Can I do it?
Of mystery.
We call it.
Qualest to Fantasia.
Yes.
Which translates to, what's your fancy?
Well, I think her take was a little bit more in the aura of what we're trying to go for.
Yours was disturbed.
Well, that's why we put it into that language.
Yeah, what was that voice?
Well, there's a big difference between.
Qualis du Fantasia.
And what's your fancy?
So we go with the Lindsay version.
So, yeah, obviously we're very busy, Sydney behind the glass.
And just a reminder to everyone, just because the Super Bowl's over, that does not mean our work is.
Welcome to the NFL.
NFL Offsen.
Combine.
Free agency.
Draft.
Keep grinding, Sessler.
Is Daddy ever coming back?
Let's do some news.
You guys are dorks.
That was a Lindsay sound drop.
You guys are dorks, but you could have easily just said it.
I could have.
Let's start.
It would have been appropriate.
Yes.
Your sons will see you again, Mark.
I'm sure.
It might be June.
You know, it is actually.
actually the Wednesday after we returned, and I've seen them for like two and a half hours.
That's good.
So I'm sure that won't affect their development.
I'm sure there's another male stepping in and taking the role at this point.
I don't know what's happening.
That's dark.
Okay, let's start with Peyton Manning in the news a little bit.
Of course, he's making a talk show circuit.
I saw him on Jimmy Fallon on, I believe Wednesday.
He was on Magic Johnson was also in the picture at the Fallon show.
Magic Johnson, of course, has become something of a,
and I liked how Conor Orr put it in our around the NFL piece,
he's become something of a Los Angeles sports power broker.
He has the clout, the cashé, the money to make things happen,
and Magic, who's already, you know, part owner of the Dodgers,
has ram season tickets.
He wants Peyton Manning under center in St. Louis.
He had this to say, I try to talk somebody out of retirement
and come to the Rams, Johnson said, pointing at Peyton Manning.
I said, man, if you ever play again,
come to the Rams. I was working on him
backstage. I would even chip in some
money. He added, look, look, look.
He's turning a few colors.
Would the Rams
be better? We know
quarterback problems than
the norm in St. Louis.
But we'll take the series
just for the sake of conversation, Lindsay. Would
Peyton Manning make the Rams better in 2016?
Magic.
I love you.
10-year-old Lindsay
loves you. Thank you for everything.
thing that you've done for this city? Showtime.
Stop talking.
Like, just don't. Just don't.
This isn't good for him. This isn't good for
L.A. This isn't good for the Rams.
Just no. Well, hold on. One
counterpoint because
the Rams are probably going to be treated like the Cowboys
going down the road where they're going to get five
nationally televised games anyway.
So maybe you don't even
need Peyton Manning get on TV. But what
if you pair Manning, listen, he's a
broken down quarterback, but what if he goes
down some other road where he has one more season, you
pair them with that Rams defense and they don't go
seven to nine for the first time.
You can't throw.
I just turn it off.
Are you just saying devil's ad?
He's unwatchable.
I'm simply being a devil's advocate.
This is not in Peyton's best interest.
No, it's not.
And Peyton has to understand that at this point, right?
He has the best possible moment walking away from the game.
It's such a no-brainer.
It would be a Joe Namath move.
I mean, the most famous shot post-Jets of Joe Namath,
anything not-jets related is the sad shot,
long hair, a lot of sun on his face, and it's starting to show his age, benched with
the L.A. Rams in 1975 before he retired, just a broken down guy with taped up knees and legs.
And you don't want to be that guy. I mean, in Peyton Manning, and we said it's amazing that
all the great years he had over his 18-year career where maybe he was so good, but the team
wasn't quite good enough. He actually somehow cheats death, football death, in a final destination
type scenario and wins a Super Bowl when he couldn't play anymore to go back would
really, to me, it would be, you know, spitting in the sky.
Don't spit in the sky, as my grandmother would say, the rest of the piece.
Don't do it.
One of my big pet peeves is sports writers telling athletes when to hang it up.
But I think this is an exception.
It's so obvious that he needs.
It's set up as the perfect scenario for him to walk away.
If he comes back, how do you want to end your career being benched for Case Keenham?
How do you root for that?
Imagine maybe going up to the wrong.
Broncos quarterback. How about you get a young Brock Osweiler come in, lead the Rams for the
next 10 years? There's a lot of crazy talk right now around Broncos' quarterbacks, because I even
heard floated the idea that if the Broncos get a deal done with Von Miller, that there's an option
to put the franchise tag on Brock Osweiler? You're going to pay Brock Osweiler $20 million?
Comes to the Rams, it would be like Dieter Brock Osweiler.
He wants a little fist bump. You want a little fist bump?
Listen, that was a good 70s bit, Wes. I like it. I think it was.
Oh, was it?
All right.
Let's move on, talk about another aging quarterback.
This one is Drew Breeze.
He's 37 years old.
He's been in New Orleans for the past 11 seasons.
There was some speculation as the 2015 season wore on that he could be elsewhere.
In 2016, he has, of course, a massive $30 million salary cap hit with the Saints this season.
If that's not the most ever, I'm not a capologist, but that has to be near the top.
ever. And so there was talk that maybe he wouldn't be around. But on Wednesday at 4 p.m., almost $11 million of his $20 million salary became guaranteed. So you can put it on the board. Drew Brees will be playing with the Saints Sean Payton's back. Another year the question, Chris Wessling, is whether the Saints are better off having Drew Brees involved right now or would the franchise have been better off maybe making some type of play, whether it was a trade or somehow getting out of his contract?
and going in a different direction.
That's the question?
Yeah, why not?
NFL teams don't get rid of franchise quarterbacks.
It's a no-brainer.
You pay them whatever it takes to pay him, you pay him.
I guess I meant this seems like a team that's a far way from winning right now.
It doesn't matter.
In the NFL, you can rebuild him one year.
It doesn't matter.
If you have a franchise quarterback, you do not let him go.
Mark?
Well, I think once Peyton decided to not jettison and go to some other team,
that the message was clear.
And maybe they just did this to make the reporters all feel stupid
after two months of Wisconsin.
Sean Peyton loves making reports.
He does.
But I mean, once Peyton was in place, it was like bring back Breeze, obviously.
Like you said, you don't see these guys.
He's not broken down like Peyton Manning.
So it's not a question of can he still play.
Keep the band together, see what happens this season.
Rob Bryan's removed.
That may actually help, and you go from there.
I mean, if you remove Drew Breeze, what's the answer?
The problem is you've got to fill in that position with someone else.
Teams trying to do that have had very little luck.
And they don't have a defense like the Broncos that can carry a team.
Regardless.
Unlike Peyton Manning, he played through a torn rotator cuff and a plantar fascia injury
and played really well through those injuries.
That was kind of underrated or underreported, I thought.
I mean, they still weren't a good team, and maybe that's why that was the case.
But that shut down Manning for a while.
He played right through it in a shoulder injury.
I remember a rap sheet reporting how that was potentially a multi-week injury.
I think he missed one game.
That's a good quarterback.
All right, I'm with you, Wes.
I like it.
Let's move on.
Chad Johnson.
You remember that guy.
Everyone used to love him.
He was a lovable guy.
And then he, like, hit his girlfriend.
It turned out he might have been a monster.
That's the Chad Johnson we're talking about.
But here he is in the news around the NFL.
Connor wrote the piece.
Chad Johnson had a gross remedy for sprained ankles.
And, you know, Lindsay, I thought maybe, did you high school athletics, college athletics,
anything like that for you?
I did some cheerleading back in the day.
Okay, a little bit of cheerleading, varsity team.
Were you a captain?
I was a captain.
Look at you.
Lindsay, the captain of the cheerleading team.
Wow.
I will throw this one out to you and you let me know if this happened with the cheerleaders' sprained ankles,
which obviously was something that was common, I would think, in the cheerleading business.
All the time.
Okay.
Here's the quote from Chad Johnson.
I collect warm urine from my teammates, heat it up and put my ankle in it for 30 minutes.
Have you ever, Lindsay, warmed urine, other people's urine, no less.
put your feet in it.
I can't say that I have.
Did, did Chad Johnson suffer every ankle injury in the ocean by way of a jellyfish?
I'm confused about where he came up with this remedy.
That's a good question.
How do you learn about that?
Well, what I love is when Connor, Connor, like, wrote that, apparently wrote every piece on our website today, but he looked this up.
He Googled like, you know, urine therapy attached to ankle maladies, not a whisper on Google, not a thing.
I'm not sure about the science doesn't really check out on this,
but I'll tell you what it is good for, warm urine, athletes' foot.
Excuse me?
It works on athletes.
You've done it?
Isn't that how you typically get it by stepping in the shower on other people's urine and?
No, no, no, no.
What?
I was a male man.
Athlete's foot is a fact of life.
So what?
You had people pee on your foot?
I don't understand.
Wait, you would pee into like a bucket or some type of basin?
No.
what would you do
I don't really want to go into the deep
I mean you went this far
It doesn't take any contraption
Are you like in the shower?
Yes
What the hell's going on out here?
I feel that way too
It worked
I want to know
This was a remedy passed down
From other mailman
There is a whole thing out there
called urine therapy
Where if people drink their own urine
It clears your body
But that's for like a small sector
Of the population
What the hell's going on out of
Hey, first of all, I'm never going to look at a male carrier the same again.
I don't think you need that in L.A.
In Cincinnati, where it's like 40 and, you know, sleet and rain and snow
and all these different precipitations, that's when athlete's foot happens a lot more readily
in damp situations.
Well, there you go.
What are these teammates that are willing to provide their urine, by the way?
How did that all happen?
It feels like kind of a lie.
I don't know.
I don't know if I buy it, to be honest with you.
I'll throw a name out Carson Palmer.
A load of yearn from car.
Are you okay, Sydney?
Is it a little uncomfortable?
That was very upsetting.
I don't want to know that that's a thing anybody ever does ever.
Do they don't do that in Utah?
I don't.
Maybe.
I don't do that in Utah.
What about Disneyland?
Do they do that?
I think the two places you've spent most time in your life.
All right.
Finally in the news, and I don't know if this man uses urine therapy,
but he is a legend back in Australia and around the NFL favorite.
We like to check in on rugby league's.
star Jared Hayne, who wants back in the NFL in 2016.
He's the former National Rugby League star that got a contract with the 49ers
as a punt returner, swing back last season.
He wants back in.
I won't even try an Australian accent today.
Please do.
No, I can't.
I'm trying to do it.
Can't do it.
I like being out like a wide receiver.
Running backs also, like he says it in a very Australian way,
running backs also very enjoyable as well.
I think for me it's just about being versatile
and playing anywhere they put me
so he's not under contract
he would like to stay
but at the same time
he can always pull the Jordan and go back
to rugby and be one of the best players
in the league. I would say you should do that
but he said it was his wording
he was devastated when he had two chances
this year to score a touchdown. He just wants to
score a touchdown and I think he's
cool with going back to his old gig
but he hasn't done it yet and he wants to
I hope he does it.
Maybe he'll get a punt return touchdown.
I don't ever see him as a star running back in the NFL.
I don't think he has the instincts for that.
But he can be a good punt returner.
Maybe he has a really good celebration touchdown.
He's just waiting to unload and then drop the mic.
I wouldn't give up on this guy because, one, from a league angle,
the league is all about growing and expanding.
So maybe it's a little self-serving for the NFL,
but he's great for the NFL.
And number two, he's an unusual athlete.
those guys should get two or three chances and really learning football in as quick of a time as
they asked them, that's hard to do.
So give him another full off season.
Plenty of teams need good return men.
He deserves another shot.
Is your Australian accent really that bad?
I'm just, I can't find it right now.
You've got to workshop it a little bit.
We can work on that down the aisle.
I'm afraid you might veer into British or Irish or.
You have a high standard to live up to with the British accent.
When we did have our meetup with listeners in San Francisco, there was a lot of,
compliments but also like you know it's terrible your your British accent I think my
Irish accent is a home run that's in your blood they're in your head that's what you
just told me maybe they're in your head Dan I don't care about no boy I can speak
British accent you know I'm saying you know I'm mean you know a mega my name's Gary
Bonnish mate I go down probably the worst British accent I've ever heard yeah no wonder
I have a crisis of confidence wasn't good I dare you
that's what's happening in the news.
Let's talk about the top 20 unrestricted free agents for 2016.
Greg wrote a piece during Super Bowl week.
Actually, it was a couple of weeks ago now.
Stated.
Perhaps stated on his list, but also not much has changed, let's face it.
And from a business standpoint, this was his 20 to 1.
We'll start with number 20.
Wes, how about this?
We'll do five.
We'll do 20 to 15, and then we'll kind of talk about it.
West can maybe jump into somebody on his list that's either in that realm or way different.
Number 20, Brock Osweiler of the Broncos, 19, Janoris Jenkins, Rams cornerback, 18, Danny Trevathan, Broncos linebacker, 17, Andre Smith, Bengals, right tackle.
16, Matt Forte.
That's an intriguing name.
Bears running back.
and number 15, and I know the Kissing Cousins Corner is going to have an issue with this.
Number 15, Kirk Cousins, Redskins quarterback.
Wes, on your own top 20 list, what jumped out is a huge difference for you?
I have Kirk Cousins higher, and he has Sam Bradford ahead of Kirk Cousins.
Sam Bradford is not on my list of the top 20 players who are going to be free agents in the NFL.
I don't have Brock Osweiler on my list either.
I think that Kirk Cousins is the only quarterback I would put in the top 20.
Well, we aren't into Bradford yet, but I couldn't agree more.
I think Cousins, to me, feels like an absolute lock to return to the Redskins,
and he should.
He should be their number one priority.
I think I like Osweiler or the idea of him a little bit more than you do at this point.
But I also think he's going to stay in Denver, no questions asked.
Unless someone offers a ton of money.
Someone could do that.
You could rest him away with a lot of money.
I'm okay with him being 20 on this list because he is, you know, 7 foot 4
and did show some things in his.
brief audition with the Broncos this year.
On the other hand, he got benched for one of the worst quarterbacks in the NFL this.
Right, but it's also, you know, with that, there was more to it than just the player.
You know, and I kind of, and I will say, I mean, he handled it very well the benching.
So I get why he's an intriguing guy, and I probably would stick him at 20 or around there myself.
But at the same time, am I going to give Brock Oswald a big contract that's playing with fire?
And Matt Forte really is interesting.
He's 30 years old.
kind of really, Lindsay, one of the more underrated running backs in the NFL in the past 10 years.
And you would think, and I saw some bubbling about the New England Patriots of the fit for him.
If they can make it happen, that would seem like a golden fit.
It would be great.
And he was on one of NFL Network's players-only shows during the week of Super Bowl.
And they were, you know, prodding him along and saying, hey, go get your money.
If the Bears don't want to pay you, go get it somewhere else, someone will.
and he said, it ain't even about the money.
I want to come to the Super Bowl like you guys did.
So the fact that he was willing to put that out there,
I tweeted out that quote,
and everyone came back with,
welcome to New England.
I can't wait to bring you on board.
So the fact that he's saying right up front,
I don't even care about the person that's going to pay me the most.
I want to go to the best team and the best situation.
That does seem to be an interesting.
Yeah, Forte seems like a guy that's felt disrespect at all season.
And I think he's at 16 on this list.
If you plugged him into New England or the right kind of a fit,
we could look back on this list and say you should have been top seven, top eight,
just simply based on who he is on the right team.
On the other hand, based on the history of signing 30 old running backs to big money contracts,
it's a very good chance that he goes the other way.
Right.
Okay, so.
Point by Wes.
15, we had Kirk Cousins.
14 is Sam Bradford, the Eagles quarterback.
So according to Greg, Bradford, is a little more intriguing as a signing the Cousins.
13. Eric Weddell, the Charger Safety.
That feels a little low for me, maybe.
Yeah, he is.
I realize he's older, but he's still balling.
Yep, 30 years old, but he's been one of the better safeties in the last five years.
Russell O'Cung, the Seahawks tackle number 12, and Bruce Irvin, the Seattle Seahawks
linebacker, former first round pick at number 11.
Wes, what about that part of the list?
Well, Bradford's the only one that I disagree with.
I think the other ones make sense.
Bruce Irvin is going to get, I would imagine, you have former Seahawks coordinators running the show in Jacksonville in Atlanta,
and I can see both of those teams competing for his services.
I think Okun, he's a sneaky chance for the franchise.
Well, probably not after that.
He had that, what was a pectoral injury to end his season in the playoffs.
But I agree with Lindsey Weddell's still playing well.
The thing is that NFL teams just don't pay for over 30 defenders.
I just don't understand if you go make this pitch for Sam Bradford.
how you market your team around this guy
to anyone other than very unsavvy fans
that haven't paid attention to his career.
Looks good on paper, maybe, but not even.
Like, I just think that's a real tough sell,
and I wouldn't have him on this list.
I want you to, I'm going to put you on the spot mark right now.
Your hair is looking a little edgy today.
It's almost in a foahawk.
Oh, it is.
And so I feel like I can get an edgy response from you.
Tell us who are the least savvy fans in the NFL.
Go ahead.
Tell us the franchise.
I mean, probably.
probably any fan attached to any team
that's walking around in like some jersey
with a player that was good six years ago
that is too encumbered by work and life responsibilities
and isn't really tracking what's happening.
It's like, oh, yeah, Sam Bradford, he sounds good.
Nice side step.
Well, of course, I'm not going to attach myself
to some terrible fan base
and hear about it on Twitter.
All right, here we go.
Number 10 on this list,
Doug Martin, the buck's running back coming off
a career season.
Number nine, Olivier Vernon, the Dolphins defensive end.
Number eight, Malik Jackson, Broncos the tackle.
Number seven, Eric Berry, chief safety, and a hater of horses.
Number six.
Were you aware of that one?
No, I didn't.
We've talked about it on the show.
We're on the ATL debate club, the original form of this podcast, that Eric Berry has a deathly fear of horses.
There is a name for that.
Do you remember it?
I think it was equinofobia.
Yeah, along those lines.
He was at a Broncos game.
This was a few years back where the Bronco was running on the.
field and he literally hid and he was miced up and was saying i ain't i ain't messing with no horses
like they he views them as dragons we we brought dan's wife emily on and she's a former
equestrian horse rider slash the person and she she she does person well she dug into that topic so
yeah anyway so jason p p p p p at number six and i will uh i will t west and everyone up for this
when JPP, Greg obviously thinks a lot more of Pierre Paul than a lot of other people.
He still can move last year after coming back from the fireworks injury West,
but he could not wrap anybody up anymore.
And you've got to finish, you're going to pay a guy like a top five defensive lineman
when he can't tackle him.
I am not paying Jason Pierre Paul to play for my team when he cannot make a tackle.
I know Greg loves the fact that he kept getting pressure.
And then pressure is important, but you have to actually tackle the man to finish the play.
and I'm not sure he can do it.
Not ranked at all, though, Chris Wessling.
I feel bad for Greg.
He's like a man who's passed on to another reality at this point,
and we're just like taking his post from January 20th,
just cutting it up.
Well, I feel bad for Greg, too.
He still feels that way, though.
To defend him.
No, he does.
Then Lindsay makes a good point as well.
I look at Malik Jackson and Danny Trevath,
and these are two guys, whenever you come off what the Broncos just did,
like Danny Trath and all week said,
I have to have a big game.
and be part of a win to help my value.
He was honest about it, but teams are going to love anyone from the Broncos.
I really think they will.
If you rewatch the Super Bowl, you can make an argument that Malik Jackson was the best player
on the field, even as good as – from play to play, he was as good as Von Miller.
He was the one disrupting inside, allowing Von Miller to do what he did.
I think Malik Jackson had an awesome two-game run there in the playoffs.
I'm sure he got MVP votes.
Got to go with this Browns video if you're watching on YouTube.
You've got to show that, don't you, Sidney?
I'm sure that was what she was doing on purpose.
I'm looking forward to number five
and introducing an NFL player
to the majority of our listeners.
Lindsay, I talked to her in the office.
This was her hot point.
Yeah, that's true.
Number five on the list.
Here's the top five.
Cordy Glenn, the left tackle of the Buffalo Bills.
Greg had this.
Absolutely befuddled.
Crickets.
Tumbleweed goes by.
This was Greg's write-up.
True franchise left tackles are awfully hard to find.
And that's why he's a strong candidate for the franchise tag.
And, yeah, keep in mind with his list.
We're not talking like all these guys are going to reach the open market.
A lot of these guys, the majority even will, if a long-term deal doesn't get done, they'll get tagged.
So, I mean, what would be?
If more than five of these guys actually reach the open market with that.
It's like last year.
Yeah.
I think more than 10 will reach the open market.
Okay.
So it's a matter of maybe half reached it.
But Cordy Glenn here at number five, Alshon Jeffrey, the Bears.
wide receiver at four. Big Mo Wilkerson, the Jets defensive end at number three. Josh Norman,
the Panthers cornerback. Talk about picking the right time to have your best season is at number
two and number one on the list and going back to the point I just made. Von Miller, the Broncos
linebacker who's not going anywhere. So he's at number one and rightfully so on Greg's list and
Wes's list as well. But don't expect to get your grimy mitts on Von Miller.
But nothing person. I wouldn't expect to get you.
your grimy mitts on any of those five players.
You can speak to Mo Wilkerson because you're a Jets fan.
I know that they've already, they picked who was the guy, Leonard Williams?
Yes.
Yeah.
So they don't really need Mo Wilkerson, but you don't just let that kind of talent walk out your door.
It feels like they are internally trying to figure out if they want to keep Mo Wilkerson
or Sheldon Richardson.
And Richardson did himself no favors with the arrest last summer.
but I think the team is still open to the idea.
They might think he has a little bit of a higher ceiling than Mo Wilkerson.
And Wilkerson also, you know, he had his best season last year,
so he has a lot of leverage.
I think he stays.
I think another guy who's not on this list that a lot of people are big fans on Damon Harrison,
Snacks, of course.
He's out, I think.
He is a free agent as well, and I think what you're going to see happen is
Snacks is going to, and he's one of the best run-stuffing D-Tackles in the league.
You're going to see him go elsewhere,
and maybe they're going to try to work it out to keep both Wilkerson
in and Sheldon Richardson, but that's why I Wilkerson's not signed yet.
I think they're internally trying to figure out which way they want to play this.
Cordy Glenn, Lindsay.
Yes, please tell me.
He's young, he's talented, and I don't watch offensive line play.
I'm no expert, but ranked by Pro Football Focus and all the other sites,
as one of the top five or six offensive linemen in the game.
I just think if you're Greg Roman and you're running an offense that goes through the run
that you can't let a left tackle slip out the door and hope you find something.
I mean, that line is not one of the best lines in football,
so you cannot let him go.
I think the Von Miller one is, I mean, obviously Von Miller is number one,
but the Broncos offseason is going to be so interesting.
Yeah.
Because there are so many people that are free agents on that team.
Every linebacker except for where,
Von Miller, Treveithin, and Brandon Marshall,
who is a restricted free agent,
both of their running backs,
C.J. Anderson and Ronnie Hillman,
the quarterback of the future of Brock Osweiler,
and their best defensive linemen in Malik Jackson.
So if you're John Elway, what in the world do you do with that?
You have to have a priorities list that is pretty hardcore,
and there are going to be repercussions.
It reminds me of the Ravens from a few years ago
when they lost so much talent.
Danelle Ellerby and Paul Kruger immediately were gone.
Didn't they lose Ed Reed?
Yep.
And that's why, like the Ravens, were able to pull off in 2013,
like, or 2012, what the Broncos did this year.
That's why you've got to take advantage of that window.
that window's open you got to win because you can't keep together a great roster long that is the top 20 oh what a way to put a button on it the old zooser that is the top 20 unrestricted free agents of 2016 talk up highlands all right now it's time to get on the phone a man he's located if that happened on NFL network someone like a fellow host was like look what i just did would that even fly or would that person be quickly shot to like CSN bay area oh no absolutely high five high fives all the way around all right
Right, okay, no one's planning.
There's a man out in a desert, right out in the middle of the Sahara Desert.
Sahara.
The Mojave, excuse me.
That's another contact Wes has for professional football, the Sahara guy.
But in the Mojave Desert, there is a man who lives atop a building with a pool on it.
And he lays out in the sun with a bikini-clad bays.
That's just the parlance of Vegas.
So sexist.
You know, all around him.
He is the spice rack.
He runs an entertainment division up in Vegas at an undisclosed casino unless he wants to say it.
But he also has the gig of Chris Wessling's Desert College Football Spengali.
Spicey.
You're on the line, baby.
I'm on the line.
My life's actually a little more glamorous than you, the picture you painted, but I'll take it.
Wait, wait, wait.
Tell us about your life.
There are no Bikis.
It's not at all.
That was just like a funny little opener.
My life's very depressing, to be honest.
I just figured you'd have a good laugh and continue on with the ridicule.
Here's Spice Rack.
And Spice Rack first came on to the scene, at least at the year on the NFL podcast,
as a guy that Wes said was pounding the table for Melvin Gordon,
the former first round pick of the Chargers.
And then as the season went along, we couldn't see.
stop thinking about Spice Rack, how he must have struggled internally,
as Melvin Gordon had a deeply disappointing first year.
We had Spice Rack on at the end of the season to kind of talk about it,
and he was upset, and he was very worked up, and we had to let him go.
But now we have him back with a new draft season upon us,
and we call this the Spice Rack Redemption, S-R, a chance to pound the table for another player
in this upcoming draft class, and we will track it closely.
there's a lot of pressure on the line.
So, Spice rack, who you got?
Okay, so are you just looking for one guy who pounded it?
I mean, a first round certainty the way Gordon was?
Just, you know, somebody that people are sleeping on that the spice rack is pounded in the table.
Okay, I mean, if we can drop a little below round one or round two, I'll give you a running back from Arkansas, Jonathan Williams.
He didn't play last year.
He was out with an injury.
And Arkansas actually has a lot of draftable offensive players, but this guy, I might like him better than any back in the draft except for Ezekiel Elliott.
He's got a lot of more his correct qualities, to be honest, on the field.
Not blazing speed, but great vision.
On the field.
He's falling forward.
I don't even know where he's projected.
Third, fifth, eighth round.
I don't know.
Jonathan Williams, the guy, I really like.
So you agree with Mayok that Ezekiel Elliott is a better prospect than Derek Henry?
I don't think there's any doubt about it.
Wow.
I think he's got more speed.
He's got a, he's got the kind of body, you know, you drink, he's about 511, 225, but can outrun everybody.
He's kind of a supercharged Maurice Jones Drew, really.
Wow.
He's got that long speed.
So, you know, it's scary with running back after what happened with Melvin Gordon last year.
Is your confident shaking, Spicerack?
No, I'm not.
Listen, this is probably the biggest stage I've ever been on, so you're not really looking to screw up.
So, yeah, there's some anxiety involved.
Yeah.
I got a question for Old Spicey.
Yeah.
So Bosa goes number one.
We all get that to the Titans.
Number two, the Cleveland Browns, they're going quarterback.
You are in the draft room.
You're a combination of Hugh Jackson slash Sashi Brown and all the rest of them.
Which quarterback do you take?
Look, I did some thin slicing on Jared golf.
I didn't sit down and watch a lot of California Golden Bears.
games, but I wasn't a big fan. I didn't come away impressed. You didn't like Paxton
Litch either, did you? From Memphis is the quarterback I like. He's a great athlete. He's tall. He's got a
good arm, not a great arm, but I like, he uses his mobility to buy himself time and, you know,
he keeps his eyes up. What's up with the mustache, though? You don't want to make Aaron Rogers
comparison ever. He's the best I've ever seen to it. He looks like a waiter. He's got a great
I like the fact that it's such a good athlete.
He looks to extend the play to throw it down field.
I really like that.
Is there anybody?
I have a question for Mr. Rack.
All right.
Mr. Rack.
Your Twitter handle is Spice underscore Rack underscore MD.
What's the M.D?
I'm not from Maryland.
I'm a medical doctor, you see?
Are you really?
Nobody's buying that.
It's a savvy movie.
No, I graduated high school with a 1.9 grade point average, so.
Wow, look at you.
An American success story.
Now to be on top of a tower in a desert.
So it's not Dr. Rack.
To heaven.
No, that was more like I had a certain Twitter handle than West tells me that I need to change it up.
And that's what I came up with.
I was getting some doctor coaching, some West coaching behind the scenes.
That's how he gets the bikini clad, babe.
I see.
There you go.
Spice Rack.
Last chance now to get off your chest.
Anything about your research, what you've been watching, something you're excited about.
I'm going to give you the floor.
now just for the last, you know, 45 seconds straight just for a monologue. Go ahead.
All right. As far as a slightly off the radar prospect, I'm going to give you a guy who
was ultra productive in college, but the measurables are going to be an issue. That's Eric Stryker
from Oklahoma. Absolutely not a defensive. He's like six foot 225. But tenacious as all
So I attacked the ball like a maniac behind the line of scrimmage, chasing after quarterbacks.
I saw possibly a position switch back to safety.
That won't work.
So I don't know if this guy can play outside linebacker.
I don't think he's heavy enough to ever be at an Elvis Dumerville.
All right.
But I think you're crazy if you get beyond about round three if you're passing up Eric Stryker from Oklahoma.
All right.
We're going to have to let you go now, Spicey.
I think I did a poor job
But no
We have high hopes with you
Well you always have that doctorate to lean
To lean on
Oh no wait
I mean I had to let him go
We got what we needed at him
It was time just let him go at that point
I mean you know
He could self-grade himself
But that's not really
Yeah
Do you think he
I mean because we got to
Sometimes you got to keep a show moving
He's got to end the call
Is that was that rude do you think
I think the spice rack
Has to be more of a regular listener
to the show and know that we don't care about the hardcore college football analysis
and we really want more humor and stick out of him?
Yeah, but we want to win a mixture.
He's got to learn to deliver the mixture, basically.
I think he did a better job than last time.
I would like more angst and more like volatile energy out of him.
Yeah, that's true.
Why we have phones going on?
We meant to get David Ely on the phone yesterday,
who's downstairs a big Panthers fan who's crushed.
absolutely crushed when his team lost the Super Bowl.
And, of course, he, you know, brought champagne to the newsroom to celebrate.
That's never a good move.
Bring his Cam Newton T-shirt.
Try to call him yesterday.
And we have some photos, actually, of, I think, Lindsay, you took one from the newsroom that showed him upset that he didn't get the phone call.
I mean, this is life as David Ely in modern time.
So let's...
I don't know if it was that he was upset that he wasn't getting the phone call or upset that you were calling him a loser.
in a graphic.
Yeah.
Well, let's get him on the phone again.
Let's try again.
David Ely, the downstairs desk editor, huge Panthers fan.
Of course, the phone might not work again, but.
News desk, Tommy.
Hey, Tony, what's up?
This is Dan Hanzas in the studio.
Andrews.
What's up, buddy?
Can we talk to David Ely?
Yeah, man.
All right, cool.
One second.
Tony.
Hi, Tony.
I like that there's a chain.
of command to get to David Ely.
Yeah.
He's running the show on the death.
He's an important guy.
NFL, this David.
Ely, what's up?
Welcome to the round of the NFL podcast.
What's going on?
I was listening to Eza's Season 3.
You caught me off guard.
Oh, God.
What were you listening to?
He's a season 3.
Connie just dropped his new album.
Oh, he called it season 3?
No, he's having his fashion lines.
Oh, that.
Season 3.
Wait, you're working right now, right?
It's the off season.
I hope no shadowy league figure is listening right now.
None.
No, no, no, no.
We only just passed the 20 million download mark.
Ely, so you, we just want to touch base with you because you, of course, are a Panthers fan.
Super Bowl Sunday, you opted to work during the game.
It seemed like a move that was a little bit done out of, I don't know, hubris?
Hubris, because you wanted to be the big shot at the desk.
You brought champagne.
Is it fair to say that you kind of got overconfident in a big spot?
I don't know if I would call it a hubris move
I definitely wanted to do the push alerts
that the Panthers that won the Super Bowl
that's a true statement
That's such a desk editor move
Like this was all based on the push alert
I wanted to be there when the moment happened
I don't know
I had a good thing going watching them in the office all season
So there's a little bit of superstition
Where does this
Where did it rank the loss is like
And we we love talking with the only
about his personal life and about, like, girls and all the different things that are going on.
A lot to unpack there.
A lot to unpack.
I mean, that had to be one of the worst moments of the last few years that's Super Bowl defeat, right?
And, I mean, I wouldn't call you like a Charlie Brown figure, but sometimes a lot of bad things happen to you.
And you kind of deserve the Super Bowl win, and you didn't get it.
I mean, I have a wealth of disappointment to prepare me for this kind of moment, but I put it on par with my girlfriend
from breaking up with me a few years ago, that kind of moment.
I mean, yeah, take us through that because you love.
I mean, I don't know if we want to go down that road necessarily, but some life lessons to be learned there, for sure.
Because you don't ever know.
I thought about texting her this week saying, remember that night when you dumped me?
No, bad I don't.
I thought this was on par with that.
By the way, what's up?
David, scale of one to ten, how much of a loser do you feel like right now?
Well, everyone's looking at me right now in the office, so that's kind of magnet.
to find it. So I'd say a solid eight.
Here's the thing. Ely is not a loser. Not only is an excellent editor. He's going to make a
girl very happy one day. It might be a few years from now, but it's going to happen.
He's still got a great football team. Ken Newton is the best young quarterback in football.
So Ely, you know, one day Lucy's not going to pull that ball away.
I have a question for you guys, actually. Let's go around the horn and what should I use my champagne
for? I was going to ask what happened to the champagne. I've got an idea.
All right, we're going to do the thing, hang up and listen, Ely, because I didn't, you know, you asking a question.
It's kind of a weird move.
Balsy.
We're going to let you have it.
I like it.
But we're going to say goodbye.
I think he pulled it off.
I'll hang up to work.
David Ely, everybody.
I think he should use that, like, when he gets a girlfriend.
Yeah, you've got to save it.
It was meant for what I think would have been the most inspiring moment of Ely's life.
So you've got to hold on to it for the next potentially inspiring moment.
Could have to wait a bit.
Hot tub.
tonight his next date oh champagne hot tub lindsay but then what if that girl breaks up with him right
no you got to keep the former one did you have to you have to make sure that this bottle of champagne is not going to waste
what is a good way to insure it lindsay you're just drink it that way it won't go to waste
wait maybe you can offer some advice to dave lindsay you you know you are married now but you're once in
the dating circle yourself dating pool what is the number one thing a man should be
objecting to win a comely woman.
Aside from champagne?
Aside from booze, yeah.
Okay.
Yeah.
Competence?
I'm going to go with confidence.
So he should just wear that my team lost, like a badge of honor, own it.
It's great advice.
Are you listening, Dave?
I think he should go into the date without the Panthers being any factor whatsoever.
Why does his football team have to weigh?
Yeah, keep it out.
perspective on a date.
All right.
Well, it could.
I mean, maybe the right woman for him is someone that's going to appreciate that.
Well, the idea of being confident would be a great note for Ely.
He's a confident in some areas, not every area, but this would be a good takeaway.
We support the man.
Let's move on now.
Finally, Koalas to Fantasia is the name of the game.
It is a game of fantasy, of pleasure, of mystery.
Sounds inappropriate.
it well you know it's a little kind of a PG-13 show a little bit of edge to it right now
sneak into that our territory a show where we uh each of us will present a scenario uh fantastical
as it may be and the rest of the group has to decide which direction to go in with it uh one more
time uh the english translation is what's you're fancy uh but maybe the better way to call it is
cool is too fantasia all right mark get us going baby the english verse
I don't understand why it's fancy and not fantasy.
Doesn't it sound like Fantasia is like anyway.
Because it's not, it doesn't involve a fantasy necessarily.
Right.
But what's your fancy?
What's your preference?
We've had people come at us about the translation.
In that context.
Anymore.
Which one do you fancy?
Well, nobody says.
Would you like an apple or a banana?
Which one would you fancy?
That's why it's a little different.
Like we're in the 18th century.
Yeah, right.
Well, yeah, that would be the mysterious part of the game.
Okay.
Okay, Mark, get us going.
Okay, here we go.
All right, you could spend the next 30 years as a celebrated football journalist slash TV person
living a life very much like you do today.
Nothing really changes.
Everything's the same.
Same people, same food, same office, same drive home.
But everything's pretty good.
It's fine.
Everyone's fine.
Or you and your family can leave the earth to become the first family ever sent into deep space
to explore the universe and the outer reaches of our solar system.
You'd have a celebrated blog and podcast
and be a major news story for years and years
and you'd see things nobody's ever seen with human eyes
but there's also a 25% chance you never return to Earth
If you do, it wouldn't be until 2030
Okay, so tell me if I have this right
You have a 30 year successful career
In America here
Till the end basically
There's a successful football media personality type
So basically kind of the best case scenario for us
where we are right now, only over many years.
Oh, a successful one.
Successful, thank you.
Or we leave Earth.
You go into deep space with your family, was that?
Yes, where you're not alone.
It's not one of you, but you bring all these special people with you.
And you write a blog?
Of course.
It would be the technology would allow for a blog podcast.
You have a podcast, too.
It's a very 2005 thing to do.
And record a podcast that's very successful.
And then you return to Earth in 2030.
It's a creative outlet.
Maybe.
There's a 25% chance.
you perish in space.
Jesus.
All right.
Probably dying.
As I've said, I don't like, you know,
leaving this country too much,
and it's not because I don't like other people
or like America's the best.
I just like it here.
Don't want to leave.
And that certainly applies to outer space,
especially if I have a one-and-four chance
of, like, exploding due to a lack of oxygen.
So I'm going with staying here.
Lindsay?
Oh, I'm on board with you.
Should we high-five again?
Yeah, gross.
So I can stay here in a city I can't even afford to live in.
Or I can do the equivalent of becoming the first person to be like, all right, I see a guy who needs open heart transplant surgery.
I'm going to do that.
Or you see, who was the first person ever to crack open like a muscle or like a shell and say, I want to do that?
I think there's a lot of value in the dark side of the moon, Terra Incognito, doing things nobody has done before.
I mean, you're not, in his and Mark's layout of this,
you're just writing a blog and recording a podcast.
I'm seeing things nobody has ever seen, he said.
It would be like the person that went,
people that went to the moon times 108.
Right.
Still equals zero to me.
She'd rather be Neil Armstrong or Chris Wesleyan.
Come on.
Well, I don't know.
There's some value to be in Chris Wesleying.
Nobody is placing much value on it.
All right.
So that's everyone.
I'm just curious, Mark, what would your answer?
definitely do the space thing yeah well you just want to go into space in general and disappear forever
like we know i like the idea of doing something like that would you would you bring the family with
you of course no that's otherwise i wouldn't do it but there would be a time where you would like to
get into space and be alone as well no i'm in this case i would bring the whole family because you
come back in 30 years that what about like the equivalent of mark on earth where sometimes you just
need some mark time in space you would have zero mark time well i'm like every human being needs
a certain amount of a low
But Mark needs mark time
Well, we all do, but yes
But in space you wouldn't have mark time
You see what I'm saying?
Like, would you be okay
You'd never have any mark time
Like parts of the ship
Let's move on
I got one, Sydney
Hmm
Ooh, this is a good funk here
By the way, before we
I mean, keep this playing
Somebody did bring it up to me
I got after Beyonce a little bit
About not playing the hit at the Super Bowl
I've heard some heat from that
show too
Somebody called me tone deaf and that she was trying to make a statement.
And I guess I did kind of miss that a little bit.
So, you know, Bay, you can do that.
That's fine.
What was her statement?
I'm not sure.
I haven't, like, read into it too far, but I think she was making some type of commentary.
So I'll give her the benefit of that doubt on that.
I think the statement was, I'm announcing my tour tomorrow.
That's kind of what I thought.
But I think there was maybe something else to it.
I don't know.
I'm being sarcastic.
That's obviously not the option.
I'm going to get Bay a pass there.
Can I get Mark's music, by the way?
I like that one better.
She already played her popular songs at the Super Bowl.
I know.
I mean, this isn't better tune.
I like sacks.
All right, here we go.
You like sacks?
The joy of sacks.
You are an AFC East coach who operates outside the New England corridor.
You can figure that out, hopefully.
One day you receive a text message from an unfamiliar number.
The message claims to be ESPN legend Chris Berman,
who says to meet him in a diner on the edge of town for an important.
important opportunity related to your job.
You have suspicions, but he also makes several allusions to
1970s rockets, including Hotel California and Thunder Road.
So this checks out and you decide it's worth the trip.
It's probably Berman.
He mentioned Hotel California.
When you get to the diner, you notice a small man and a blue cloak
sitting in a darkened booth.
He points at you with a spinly.
Spinley?
Well, this is your...
It's your word.
It's your family, I think.
Seemingly ancient finger and becky.
you. Sure enough, this was the creature portraying himself as Berman.
I have an offer for you. You must decide right now, I will never see you again after this.
He slides a blue pill across the table. Not nearly loud enough.
If you ingest this pill, you will acquire every ounce of coaching genius in the mind of Bill Belichick.
In fact, you will be even sharper than Belichick. We will filter out any distractions.
Bon Jovi hits, yacht obsessions, girlfriend stuff. What's left will be the perfect football mind.
In turn, Belichick will no longer have his own football mind.
The rest of his personality will remain intact,
but he will now have the football smarts uploaded directly from the brain of Hollywood actor Zach Brath.
The male witch goes on to explain that this switch would effectively end Belichick's career within two years,
while you will be given an outrageous advantage over the competition.
Will you take the pill?
Qualest du Fantasia.
What's the downside?
So we're talking about Adam Gase.
The downside is you're ruining Bill Belichick's career.
You're robbing one of the great football men of the 21st century of writing his own chapter to the end of his career.
You're kind of taking what's most important from him.
No one will ever know.
But Belichick's sad demise, which would be embarrassing.
Because think about it, now his football brain is Zach Brath's brain.
And so Josh McDaniels is like, you know, we're down, we're down six with three minutes to play.
No, we need to say we go wiggle route.
Yeah, it's like fourth and three from the 38.
He'll be like, well, I was.
I was thinking of a playlist I wanted to make for Rashida Jones.
Like, he won't be able to give you anything.
And consequently, he'll be fired within two years, most likely.
This is a no-brainer.
And you become Belichick's brain.
You get Belichick's brain.
Your career, obviously, most likely in a much better place, Wes.
I have no qualms about saying this.
If I can become the best coach in the NFL,
and all that happens on the negative side is a guy who's already known
as the greatest coach of his era and perhaps in NFL history
loses his job.
He's still going into the Hall of Fame.
He's still going to be widely renowned.
No question.
A little surprised, Wes.
Why?
Because his mind, you stole it from him, essentially,
and that's going to play some psychological warfare, I would think,
on Bill Belchick.
See, I'm confused.
Well, because I would say no, because if I knew me, if I'm still me with his smarts,
I think within like a month, I'd go crazy because you kind of like enacted this terrible evil,
like kind of ripple effect that, I don't know, it feels like a major God move.
And I don't think that I would handle it well.
You need to be someone that can compartmentalize.
I have no compartmental.
So I'd end up telling like five people and it would, you know.
Yeah, I kind of feel like.
Then they wouldn't believe you when you try to explain it at some point.
They wouldn't believe you anyways.
I'd say no.
Why?
Just the Pandora's box impact.
No.
I don't hate myself.
I'm okay with just being me.
Right.
Yeah.
Or Adam Gase.
Or Adam Gase.
Also, if you're Adam Gase, what if you beat him with who you are?
It's like the end of Teen Wolf.
You want to be Michael J. Fox, not the giant wolf person.
That's a really good analogy.
Yeah.
Job, Mark.
That was so good.
It's just like Teen Wolf.
Let's end the show with one.
One more Qualist Fantasia by you.
All right, so NFL media, can we go with like the lower, I like the lower sax music.
The other one was a little too crazy.
All right, NFL media higher-ups give you the entire off season off,
and you aren't expected to touch base with anyone until at least August 1st,
but there's a catch nobody knows about.
One, you have to assume the form of a house cat,
living in Natalie Portman's New York apartment.
You have the ability to think critically
and come out of the experience
with enough amazing information
to author a compelling and truly strange book
about Portman's life
through the eyes of her so-called house cat
Ginger Box.
Gross.
Yeah, it is gross.
The book will be pimped as a fictional novel,
but anyone who knows Portman
and even Portman herself
will be blown away by the details
and emotional depth of the project.
It will send devastating shockwaves
through Hollywood and elite societies worldwide.
Or you spend the sabbatical alone one-on-one with P90X instructor Tony Horton,
getting super ripped and jacked.
No fun, no interesting foods, no alcohol, no madness.
But you return to the NFL media in August looking like the love child of Dan Helly and Felicity Jones.
Your choice, qualis to Fantasia.
Are you motivated to do that?
Yes, you would be instilled with not like, oh, like you're not breaking down.
down every day you would be he'd keep you motivated you'd be motivated well now that the season's over
i'd definitely want to try to be more healthy drop some pounds if i have an opportunity for that first
all i don't want to be a freaking cat that so that's out i don't care about anything else get me on the
the helly uh reshita jones or felicity jones plan and away we go yeah who wants to be a cat
i'm just saying you come out with like with a devastating book that was like a mystery
About what?
About, it would be like a devastating Hollywood who'd done it.
Like who came out of with like a 22 chapter, tell-all book about Natalie Portman.
But Natalie Portman?
I don't know.
I'd read it.
I can be in the best shape of my life or I can assume the form of the house cat.
Okay.
You picked like the most benign, intelligent, unlikely to cause trouble celebrity to be a fly on her wall or specifically a cat on her floor.
That's what we think.
I don't want, I don't care anything about Hollywood.
so I definitely don't care about sending shockwaves through it.
Yeah, I mean, that was maybe the most one-sided.
I mean, it was entertaining, but.
Well, fair enough.
I don't understand how your brains work.
We will be back on...
Often do not.
You guys are dorks.
We will be back next week.
I'm not sure when we'll be back.
I think we are back to our off-season schedule,
which would make our next show Monday, I believe.
But don't hold me to that.
Greg will be back.
He'll have some things to answer to once he gets back in the studio.
but for now we have Lindsay to say goodbye to
and Lindsay you've said it all
you've done it once again thank you
I mean you did a great job today you guys thanks for having me
Lindsay NFL Total Access
a host mildly sincere
the flagship program
of NFL Network so you can check her out
today in fact and five days a week
on NFL Network
she's quite famous
so thank you for joining us Lindsay
this is it that's it
for the around the NFL podcast Thursday
edition until next week.
This is Dan Hansis, signing off for Quiet Storm, the mailman.
The mailman who pees on his feet.
And last it, behind the glass.
Peace.
Until Monday.
This is an IHeart podcast.
