Nip Tuck - Being Kitten & Rice Krispie Kinks

Episode Date: January 29, 2025

You may have heard us speaking about being Kitten before. But what does it actually mean? On today’s episode we give you the full run down on exactly how to get what you want by being Kitten. Also - you may not think about Rice Krispies in the same way after today’s episode. Get in touch with the show...EMAIL - [e-mail] / TIKTOK - @niptuckpodWHATSAPP - 07418 610097Thank you to Natural Cycles for sponsoring today's episode. Use code Niptuck at Naturalcycles.com to get 15% off an annual subscription + a free thermometerhttps://bit.ly/NC_NiptuckMedical disclaimer: Natural Cycles is for 18+ and does not protect against STIs Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

guys hi and welcome to nip tuck not giving a fuck so lauren is off on her honeymoon tomorrow as we said last week we're doing a double record yeah we want all the holiday packing tips and we want to know how you found it buying holiday clothes in december was that hard um asos asos whatever you call it is pretty much where i've got everything yeah next day delivery they have everything on there constantly it was a bit difficult packing for being pregnant because like i can't wear my normal go-to is a pair of denim shorts that you just throw on over every bikini you end up wearing the same one the whole holiday yeah but that's one thing i haven't found that is that i can recommend is a pair of pregnancy it's near impossible it's got the band or what

I've kind of been doing is putting everything under the bump um because if if I put it over the bump I look like a boiled egg so I've been like rolling under and kind of almost making the bumper feature I've got loads of sarongs like really nice sarongs because you can then tie them over the bump under the bump rounding whatever you want um bikinis I've actually got a lot of string bikinis the reason being size wise you can have it loose you can have it tight i've done that i haven't done costumes i've got one hunza costume i'm not obsessed with hunza um i stopped buying it quite a bit ago because the quality wasn't quite i got one off um vinted and it was a new with tags and crotch thing um and it's it's red and white stripes and i've seen

that one it's nice with a white shirt it is nice but it digs into my bum um and yeah i'm not obsessed it's a one size like how will that ever work this is what i don't quite get so i've done a lot of like instead of getting things that cover you up i've actually just got like string your triangle it's how archaic as well that some companies bikini companies still do top and bottoms together like that is never it's never gonna work i remember when i was a little bit younger and i used to get all my swimwear river island as well yeah they were another one and i used to go to primark she still loved primark for costume but it would be a set and i am a totally different i've got bigger boobs so it doesn't work for me and yeah i've got a lot of string bikinis

a lot of linen pants a lot of linen skirts like just that type of like loose um like i say denim shorts i've got a pair of levi white ones that i got a big much much bigger size and i've rolled over the top and that's quite nice um but i'll report back on how i found like being pregnant on holiday as well because i haven't i think i went with thea when i was like 20 weeks to spain and i just remember a lot of chafing a lot of leg rub um and a lot of sweat yeah so we'll just see whether that's gonna happen this time i don't know yeah but i have i've packed i've done my usual trick where i go on amazon and i get the big packing squares yeah like the the clear bags you know almost like sandwich bags but bigger and i've gone through and the bikini goes with

the cover up and then literally in the morning i pull it out and it's got the bikini the cover up the cap the hat whatever's going to go with it and i swear by that for packing for children what sun cream did you get not that you'll need it sorry um well i've taken an umbrella and no i haven't do you know what one of my jobs today when i get home is to go under my bed i've got one of those ottoman these that were called an ottoman where you get up and you've got storage under and i've got a load of sun cream that because you know that sun cream goes off right then and you know when you're pregnant you're more prone to burning because of your wonderful stuff i've had a spray tan this morning because i was really white like yeah really really pale so i've had

a spray tan this morning um and i'm gonna just have to be really careful because not that i you know we always say don't go on the sunbed don't put your face yeah i'll be honest before i go on a holiday i do go on the sunbed a few times i cover my face with like thick towels to stop the burn because i would rather cause a little bit of damage a few times then go there and on my first day cause absolute sunstroke like not especially but i can't because i'm pregnant so um i've had a tan and i'm just going to try and be really careful um what can you do because i think places like the maldives it doesn't look sunny it's one of those where it burns you though um have you got your humantra i've got my electrolytes i've got my humantra have you

bought your supplements in a supplement box so what i've bought is do you know how you've got that really gorgeous bougie thing yeah i didn't buy that and i'll tell you why you can answer this for me it look i saw it ages ago and i thought looks really good but do see it's cool i'm not sure it's big enough can you get enough tablets in not like because you have to take the z to s dha i think you have to take two or four of them a day um and then you'll have the other ones as well i have my antidepressants i have my um i have like all my i probably take i have my vitamin d i have all the second ones so i reckon i probably take four or five and i just wasn't sure they'd fit so i literally went on amazon james got the ick actually he came in because

he's been away obviously he'd been away and i did it while he was away and i got an actual granny pill thing and he literally came up with he was like what is this and it's basically like a circle and it's got a day and they're each multicolored and it is like what your grandma and he looked at he's like what's that do you know what though it's so like now you especially if you're fully on the supplement board which is why to be fair we do love the agey one when you drink one so much easier so much easier but you can get travel sachets of that yes they are really good um however the supplements now they do those stack pot things that you carry around with you so you've got your morning lunch time and most of the supplements you have to take after you've eaten

yeah it's really especially when you're pregnant because you feel sick sometimes well zinc makes you feel really it does and i'm also taking ferritin i think it is because my iron supplies are a bit low i'm taking something like that for now and again because my iron's a bit low so there's a lot of things so i have got like a pill container um and i've actually not fully finished packing but sun cream that's a good shower i need to fully aldi it stains your clothes though does it yeah the aldi kids one does really yes the aldi kids one is fantastic for loads of reasons it's actually really good it's not got loads of shit in it it's not expensive but it's stained all fingers white clothes last year yeah so do you know which sun cream is absolutely

gorgeous which i'll tell you now but you can't get because i would have bought that in duty theory the dior one oh really and it's like i always get the lancaster i always get the lancaster tan extender that's that's amazing and they do a 15 don't they and normally i um i like the one that you you're not is it p20 yes i like that you don't have to reapply you don't have to keep reapplying so expensive now i've realized that i can't i'm not going to be going in duty free and maybe i will have to nip down to aldi because i don't want to burn i've got a lot of hats got like a boots retail park you can go to maybe i've got a load of hats because obviously i don't want to get sunstroke imagine being pregnant yeah well listen it's

going to rain so i'm not gonna do anything like that we don't need to worry about that anyway so today's episode ashley i'm gonna throw the baton to you because we touched on something that we've spoken about from the beginning days of the pod yeah being kitten yeah it's a we made it we made that up well you did i'll give you the credits yeah i am the furthest from kitten i am i'm stray dog yeah um but kitten is is a it's a lifestyle and we mentioned it and everyone's like what is kitten yeah what is it so we're gonna tell you what being kitten is yeah and like lauren gets kitten now because i get it i'm not over the years and as i say i'm walrus but i get it always like just understanding and knowing what when to choose your battles and stuff like that because

i think with men and so basically like what lauren said it's a lifestyle and you always have to remember men hate it when you argue back and they need to feel like they're in control all the time but in reality you're the one in control when you're playing kitten okay but you make them think that now kitten starts from dating i think right from the beginning and it's kind of what you want to show yourself as so that you get that same you get you start early and you set the stall yeah and it's tell tell us tell us what it is sprinkle sprinkle lady we always talk about her on patreon and um in our chats basically go on tiktok and search sprinkle sprinkle lady because she is like the epitome of kitten and people send in dilemmas to her and it's controversial yeah

when we say this some people might be like that's not very feminine yeah fucking what you meant to keep quiet and it's not it's actually been very very clever exactly and it's been the very using your feminine powers to get what you want so that's exactly it lauren so basically it's all about embracing your femininity and inspiring men to step into their traditional role as a provider yeah so you're embracing and i like that and i think sometimes you we feel like we have to be these really strong women and i really i appreciate that and i think it is amazing but don't forget that it goes right back to being what were we monkeys or something right back to adam and eve don't know what were we apes and it goes back to men and women are different and i know it's

very interchangeable now so that's fine but the standard role men go out and get the food they provide for the woman and a lot of times men enjoy that and they want to be that and they can't if you're in your masculine energy and you're not allowing them to be that yeah then you're cutting off what you could be getting from them exactly and you know what i've just found out as well when i was researching it that she has done a book which i'm gonna see if i can get on audio yeah and then we can like give some tips because i'm not good at reading books i'm good at audio books and i'll tell you about some audio books actually um in the bonus today that i've listened to recently we love a good audio book actually that might be quite nice for you while you're away to

listen to one well i'm not gonna be doing anything else the housemaid is very like very very good if you listen to that that you won't want to speak to james the whole holiday yeah um so her book is called how to date a provider and avoid a dusty so it's all about like knowing what to waste your time on and not but also you might want to be the one in control and if so then stop listening yeah that's absolutely fine this is just a certain way that you can choose to be yeah exactly and she's like all about you know if your car breaks or not having to take the rubbish out like she said one of the funniest tiktoks that i've watched that she did it was something like my husband um keeps forgetting to take the bins out and it makes me feel horrendous

having to go and take the bins out every day and she was like well what you do then you leave the bins you let animals come into your bins and you just walk past them every day until until he will have to go and do a massive job of that she was like because then when you're taking the bins out he'll just think oh no the job that i don't have to do and what i must say is men are very good at doing that they are they are and a mistake that i have always made um and and luckily james isn't like this but it isn't mistake i've made in the past is by being so self-sufficient that they aren't needed yes and they don't like that no because they want to feel needed yeah and we don't need them and i definitely do that to myself as well yeah you do so much by yourself that they

aren't needed and they think well if she she didn't ask for it so she does that she must be all right exactly and it's kind of never getting to the point where it's like that so i guess right from the dating things actually your advice is always yeah you will come and pick me up yes or we will like talk a bit for us ashley about the dating to make sure that you give off what you want what things are we doing to make sure you're projecting you stole out from the beginning yeah and i just think start as you mean to go on but as well it's like spotting whether or not someone is going to be right for you like you know two three years down the line and you can sense that out i would say in the first six months of dating and realize if you're wasting your time with this

person or not so i just think as well sometimes now especially when you get older and you're dating you might think oh well he's good at that but he's not very good at that so that's all right and it's like but really in three years time you're gonna be like for fuck's sake why did i get this far so is it things like when you go for we've spoken about this before when you go on a date yeah and the bill comes you you're like you don't even look do you you're like that's not mine to pay and that i guess from the beginning sets out yeah how and there's nothing wrong with it we're not like and it's all tongue-in-cheek as well girls like don't be all feminine um feminist whatever it's it's about kind of showing them from that beginning this is how

it's gonna go yeah you pick me up yeah you take me there yeah you will pay yeah well they asked you out as well hopefully so you know it's like their thing and also it is so expensive being a woman yeah in 2025 like just think the treatments the hair the and everything recently which we've got loads of friends that work in that industry we totally understand why it's had to all of the prices have had to increase on everything but you know like the other day i went to get my nails done and it was 56 pounds so and it's like a blow dry you go to the day 35 dry to look nice for him yeah you can at least getting your makeup done now is so expensive even buying your own makeup to do at home a new outfit yeah you've put all the effort in already yeah and i think as well

a lot of it is about having self-confidence that you are worth that yes yeah so i am not the best at this and sometimes I will be like well I'll pay half yeah but it's kind of having that confidence that I don't I don't need to you can pick me up and if you're not going to then you don't care enough no do you know and instead of being almost grateful that they've asked you on a date I'll meet you anywhere let's make it easy for him I don't want him to think I'm high maintenance why yeah because if he really cares yeah and if he really wants to be a really good husband and provide for you and care for you and everything then he can do the basics early on a hundred it's the confidence to be able to do that a hundred percent and for example um i was chatting

to one of my friends on friday and she came to me with a dilemma which i'm always very grateful for because i'm like you want my advice and she said ashley i've been speaking to this guy for a few weeks now it's going really well met on a dating app and we've got a few mutuals in common so like it all checks out and we're getting on really well and he's coming up to manchester next weekend to take me out but she was like the only thing is i think he thinks he's staying at my house so i was like well what makes you think that yeah what have you said to elude this this is the thing so i was like what makes you think that and he was she was like oh well he said something i can't quite remember what it was but he said something and she was like and panicked at the time and i

like no you need to address it there and then where will you be staying and just be like um which hotel are you staying at yes but now she's in too deep because it's like the lies it's gone on too far i was like you know we've got a week now before he comes you can't just do it two days before she needs to say which she needs yeah so i get that where have you bought for dinner yeah this kind of thing as well so it's like instead of you taking the lead and saying this place is nice it's leaving it to them where are we going for dinner yes and then you can see how much effort he puts into this dinner exactly that's where he books i think that was another thing as well where um she was like oh i'll i'll book the dinner because i know where in manchester

and i was like no no and i would have been that person yeah i i i'm not good at kitten um and i would have been the person that tried to make i feel like when i was dating not that i dated but when i was like whatever you want to call it without the actual dates involved oh shagging around no when i was like speaking to people i made things too i tried to make it easy for them so i'd be like well instead of you having to drive an hour why don't i drive half an hour too what no that is what i would have done because i would have been like oh i want i don't want to look like i want you know yeah but then so what like why are you trying to call me yeah no i agree and and that's the thing and that's why you have to start early days with what you expect yeah and

what you want and like we've got valentine's day coming up soon so what would you do in that circumstance where you're just speaking to someone for a few weeks and they're like they should send you something yeah a hundred percent i think well flowers it's not that hard is it yeah or if they can't do it at that stage when you're at the beginning and they're trying to get you they're not going to do it when you've been married for 10 years i've got a lot of friends as well who like the week before valentine's they're always like is he gonna ask me out on valentine's day or their phone just turns off yeah and they must be taking some the number one girl that they're speaking to out for valentine's day but if you're not number one girl then you don't speak again

yeah you need to be number one girl yeah and i think one of the things that men from my experience you will never be number one if he thinks he's already got you because men naturally like the chase and they naturally want what they can't have yeah so if you are really available really easy you're not going to be number one they're going to be more interested in fiona who is a bit aloof they can't work her out she's never quite know where she is where is she she's never free when they want to yeah they're going to see the challenges can i get fiona on valentine's day not yeah can i get kelly yeah i know sat waiting like a puppy at the door yeah you're not going to be number one and then um sprinkle sprinkle did a really funny tiktok um a bit ago and it was

something like um she does these in uh tiktok lives where people send in dilemmas and she reads them out she's like no yes like whatever and one of the girls i can't remember what it said something about like um only fans or something and she was like we pretend we don't even know what that is yeah like you have to act dumb like half the time and acting dumb is actually cleverer though and that's like why men love bitches we always go back to i feel like that's very old school now yeah yeah it doesn't quite fit into our modern day world but the the the the point of it yeah remains but it doesn't quite fit into no our modern world now does it but like you're i think one of the main examples is like you've said in the past if you are paying half on your second

date he is gonna want you to half everything forever because you can't go back no and that's the main thing give as little as possible because you can't then give loads and pull back yeah i mean so i think that's another thing about being kitten and i think one of the things you said the other day when we were talking about presence yeah it's it's almost a form of manipulation isn't it really and it's like i can't take the bins out because i'm a little girl yeah and i think there's something really interesting and again a lot of people will disagree but i actually agree with this there's something really different about and researching male and female energies and apparently when you're with the right kind of person so when i was with i won't say who because

we wouldn't want to make them feel like shit but when i was with a certain person i was the mother i was the financial provider i was the planner the planner the doer the mother the until i became a mother myself um and i was the i was the masculine energy and he brought out my masculine energy if there was a problem i wouldn't go to him crying yeah like my car's broken it would be yeah your car and that's because that's how what i'd done from the beginning like even now i'd still bring my dad or my husband if my car broke down because i wouldn't know what to do and listen not everyone has that so you it's a really tough one because i've had to be the masculine energy a lot because i've had no man to do it and i think that's fine but you can still pretend guys don't be a pussy

like if you need to sort your car out you need to go and fucking sort your car out yeah you can pretend that you don't know how to sort your car out it's being clever and certain men bring out your feminine energy and they need to feel masculine enough that you can be that feminine person yeah like around james i can be a baby i act like a baby at home yeah yeah i make baby noises and ask for a drink please i'm a baby because he makes me feel safe enough yeah to be that energy yeah you've got to let them be that male energy as well haven't you you've got to let them and then they get a hard on have you read that book um why men are from mars and being the yeah and it's all a similar it's all the same theory i just think it's so interesting to

research your male and female energy and what different people i think christina's read it haven't you no i've not read that one what do you think on this christine i think that some people listening will think we're absolute twats yeah that's fine that's okay because we're talking about kitten yeah talking about how to be that yeah doesn't mean you have to be i think some people might be like well a bit unrealistic yeah i i need to do this myself i'm and also in like the millennium we're way past the millennium but we should as women be able to do stuff ourselves i get you and i'm not saying don't be able to i can do everything yeah i don't know exactly what to do on google i don't need a man i have got through a lot of my life without a man i'm

financially stable without a man i can bring a child up on my own i can run a house on my own my house is mine it is no man's so i'm saying all this however i have got pure masculine energy and i am fine on my own yes but we're not talking about no we're not we're talking about a different type of thing that people are interested i want to know um put in my place there um i want to know about um kitten if you can use it without being in a relationship like can you use being kitten say for example in an argument um because i've had you talk about being kitten and i actually at one point googled it and i was like nothing you can't because it's made up because you've made it up i didn't realize you'd made it up but explain to me like a scenario of where

it's worked for you say in a non-relationship environment so say if you've been in trouble i'll tell you one straight away i'll tell you one straight when you can't when when you get pulled over for speeding yeah and they come over and you are kitten oh my god i'm so i'm speeding to give my daughter her lunch i'm a single mom and i can't get there on time and yeah yeah yeah and it's true these things are true yeah but instead of being like i am a woman and i do my shit and you oh my god no it happened to me i got pulled over for him speeding not recently it was like a few years ago and i had saskia's baby in the back of the car and yeah so the policeman came over to my car and i was like shit and he was like wind your window down and i was like i am so

sorry the baby has had an accident in the car and it stick don't come near the car like and it worked i was like it's just it's been very slightly manipulative and here's another one um i mean any situation where men are involved if you can make them feel like you need them yeah and that they are really helping you because you are just a little but we're not really guys i'm not saying make sure you can do your own shit yeah it's pretend yeah and then they think oh lady help lady yes doesn't always work listen there's anomalies there's all like we say you might not want it to be that way and a book that is really really good for like being what's the word like we just spoke about that guy coming and thinking he's staying at her house the la la la let me

explain block delete move on yeah that's very good at like setting boundaries yeah yeah i was gonna say i think the boundaries thing especially in early relationships is such a big thing um because i've been in scenarios where you're messaging someone and then they come around and you're like oh i don't know if i want anything to sort of massively happen but you feel like you have to sometimes yeah but that is such a great and dangerous horrible area and i would never and then the argument is well why do you invite that person around yeah make your make your boundaries i think like i said this is all tongue-in-cheek this is all a bit of fun it's a type of game you can play and we get asked about it a lot hence we're talking about it you know

but at the same time i would never say be the actual person i'm always the first person to be like have your shit together do not fucking rely on a man because trust me they leave you high and dry yeah i am the opposite of kitten no but i know how to do it yeah yeah it's like ashley said the the day about the gift if you get a gift you're not keen on it's that i love it so much oh my god present and they think oh present giving's nice get good response yeah yeah potty training yes yeah yeah yeah a puppy a smack on the head or a rub on there yeah yeah and and honestly it is so and we've got men in the room now and they're probably thinking you fucking pricks um but it it's so true not with every man but it is true you praise them and say really good really like

that they will do it again there's so much more but this is just like a little there's a talk we're not deep on it that's called the new rules have you heard of it christina so i've read the old rules can you remember the rules back in the day this was a really big thing it's sort of late 90s this got the number one book of 2024 yeah they did like an updated version in the noughties as well and i haven't known about this new one but basically it was this it was have you ever heard of the term be a creature like no other have you ever heard that term it's all about how you can get the guy basically it's very like outdated now yeah and it's like all of this stuff about um because it was a lot of it was in before you had mobile phones so it was like don't call a guy

back within a certain time oh like why men love bitches yeah have days where you're washing your hair yeah and all of this and like spacing contact yeah yeah it still works the old like i always say james chased me for six months and the reason is i was doing other things and he wasn't at the forefront and he didn't fucking he was not moving till he got me whereas if i'd have perhaps been so available from the beginning would that have would he have got the conquest i don't know it doesn't work in every situation either that new rules though the reviews on that are absolutely fantastic i'm gonna download so who's yeah i want to know margarita nazarenko i like the sound of it um basically it's the what it says here is the ultimate guide to being her confidence dating and

relationships and i think that's what it comes down to everything we say here the way you dress it up is all about you having the confidence to know what you want from somebody and everyone wants different things from different people we're talking here because we've been asked to talk about kitten where you want a man who's going to provide financially and all the rest of it not everybody wants that not everybody can get that there's not that many of them going around and and and and i will say that when i ever whenever i have overcompensated and done everything i've got backfires i've got the least back in and loads of experiences where i say oh it's all right i'll do it they eventually will let you whereas like it's really silly example i'm having a

section for this baby when i had a section with my first with thea i got up i was i'll get that i'll get that i'll do this i'll do that no i won't be doing that this time i will be saying this is our baby and i ain't getting up you do the vacuum you do that and in return i will and how some people are like he's never changed a nappy in his life well whose fault is that it's half your fault yeah so like not saying exactly come on for the you know hell and for you go above and beyond and people don't always give it your back time and they'll just get away with what they can get away with at any time but can you blame them no anytime i've gone above and beyond they've never looked at me and thought bless her she tries so hard i'm gonna go extra for her they've never

done that they've taken advantage no well if you draw the line to me the other day when i went outside and it was freezing and i was rushing into work and ed had not de-iced my car and he de-iced his own car because he probably thought you'll do it so we got home from work that night and he went where's my tea and i went you're not getting any you're best bring the takeaway you didn't do my job you didn't help me and it's just it's all about just being confident and making sure that you're not getting the piss taken yes that's it and you have to be a step ahead like you wouldn't be like that with your friends either like if you were doing favors all the time for your friend and then she was just like not even saying thank you or reciprocating that's the word

and again we've spoke about love languages and understanding your love language and then you know honing in on those things kitten is for people whose love language is maybe gift yes and and you know being taken care of not everyone is wanting that and that's why we do many episodes about single boss arse mums and single bitches and strong women we're just giving you a little bit of everything but the dating coaches on tiktok are very interesting it's just good to know the more you learn the more emotionally intelligent you are the more you can change how you are in every situation yeah and the best advice i've got is be a chameleon yeah be able to do kitten one day yeah and boss independent bitch the other day because if i go to a restaurant or a hotel and

something is really wrong i also have the balls in me to say can i speak to a manager please and sit down with you because i can be yeah all of these things so if you learn about them and how to be them you can change yourself to what is needed in that circumstance yeah you just don't want to come across like too upfront and aggressive and yeah it's finding the balance so guys any more questions on there any advice on that and any book recommendations girls we'll do a little post in patty right moving on from guys today's episode is brought to you by our favorite female health tracking app natural cycles we love it don't we i've been using natural cycles you know for literally six seven years so basically natural cycles is super easy to use it's an app

that you've got on your phone and every morning you take your temperature where possible with the little thermometer that they provide and it'll just ask you to input some bits of data every day literally takes seconds i started using it because i know people have different experiences but i personally was on the pill and i found it affected my libido i've had friends where they've had weight gain and i just decided that i really didn't want any chemicals i didn't want any hormones involved in my contraception whatsoever and i like i say that's been years now that i've not had any hormonal contraception and i i won't go back on it personally we understand that every woman is different and we are just sharing our perspective but both of us 10 out of 10

absolutely love natural cycles and you are just starting your pregnancy following journey on natural yeah so if anybody kind of missed this and doesn't doesn't get it obviously i am pregnant and but you can use it while you're pregnant so the natural cycles app has four different modes tailored to suit anyone at any stage in their life so we've got the natural cycles birth control setting the natural cycles planner pregnancy setting so that will tell you your most fertile days if you actually want to plan a pregnancy you can input your temperature on there your ovulation tests you've used this actually for your pregnancy to actually get pregnant as well haven't you i've used all four different modes um and the postpartum one is actually so good as

well lauren it gives you so many insights do you know what i think we forget don't we the postpartum part you know you have your baby but there's a lot afterwards how you feel mentally what your body's going through your temperature getting your cycle back on track again so it helps you with all that as well so i'll be using it for all that now natural cycles is actually 93 effective with typical use and 98 effective with perfect use so perfect use means no unprotected sex on red days the more you use the app the more it understands you so you've got green and red days on there obviously you're in the contraception mode yeah yeah it's really honestly it's so straightforward isn't it you input your data you put your temperature in you can actually use it

from a watch as well if you watch tracks or your aura ring or your aura ring there's loads of different ways now it's constantly changing and getting better with different things so you put your temperature in and you put any data on there and like i say the other good thing that we always say ashley is it keeps your data so say if you were going to try for a baby and you were having a little bit of problem you can actually go on there get all your data that from your cycle you can take it all and you can take it to a doctor and say this is my cycle yeah you just press a little button and it comes up with all of these crazy graphs and all this data about you and your cycle because we've all been there when we go and see a nurse or a doctor and they say when

was your last and i'm like i can't remember yeah but with this honestly it's absolutely incredible i am a massive advocate of natural cycles and i cannot stop recommending it to my followers and my friends we've got an amazing offer for you guys now as well if you use code nip tuck at naturalcycles.com you will get 15% off your annual subscription and a free thermometer just a quick disclaimer as well guys natural cycles is for 18 plus and please don't forget it does not protect you against stis we love natural cycles and it truly empowers every woman with the knowledge she needs to take charge of her health so thank you for natural cycles sponsoring today's episode we did say on last week's episode guys um we're doing a double record today because

i'm going away and we are recording for um abc and hulu is it yeah we don't i don't really know what we're doing um but we've got one two three men in the room that are not grown men grown actual like grown-up men like proper men not like kids um so when we're talking about all this we've got three men looking at us i've not looked up once because i'm a bit uncomfortable with what they might think but i'm gonna read this dilemma anyway um so here we go hi girls firstly i love you both so much you've helped me through a very shit time in my life by bringing the lols each episode anyway i'm not sure if this is too x-rated however here goes i'm nearly single so as one does i got on the dating apps tinder to be precise a match with this really good looking man he was

verified well really into me he wanted fun and dates and sex obviously and i'm living my well i'd say fun comes when when they write on their dating profile fun like fun as in a shag intercourse it's intercourse i mean at least i'm honest i agree and she's living a best single girly life so i wanted the same got his number we spoke for 12 hours straight we sent pictures of each other so i knew it was him and vice versa discussed our likes dislikes and brilliant news he only lives 20 minutes down the road i feel invigorated driving down the road she is grinning she's clicking her she's fucking buzzing she said i still had it anyway got to the evening time when we're discussing potentially meeting up after work the meat one thing led to another and we

ended up sexting so they both know what's going on here now i've not been single for long but i think i was doing a good job so it hits me with what are your kinks oh no no no i don't have any i'm so boring i'd have to make one up yeah but then fuck and then you've got to do it and then you've got to do it and it's like grunting like a pig on all fours next thing you're there thinking why did i be googling most vanilla kink possible like dirty talk right so hit smooth what your kinks i replied and asked him what his were he replied saying you go first you tell me first yeah he replied saying something to do with rice crisps oh what sorry what he proceeds to tell me that he like he asks women to drink or eat a full bowl of milk and rice krispies

then he lies them on the bed with their head hanging off the end i'm so sorry guys about this and proceeds to throat fuck them until all the milk and rice krispies regurgitate and come back out of their mouth what the fuck what the fuck i was stunned by this i mean what do you say and asked him how that is sexy and he said it doesn't have to involve rice krispies but that's because it looks like cum does it anyway how would you discover this i don't know anyway i moved swiftly past the conversation and went to bed the morning after i sent him a cute little selfie like we've been doing 12 hours before no response but it gets to the middle of the week so a couple of hours later i go to send him another text i'm blocked gone gone off tinder no number on whatsapp

no snapchat gone i was absolutely gobsmacked what is the point in all of that girlfriend maybe since then i've seen him on tinder multiple times what a weird man i need all the luck and love to find my husband this year girls but in the meantime i'll be back with more stories wow yeah but like we said she didn't reciprocate you thought oh yeah yeah yeah you know like when you and then you but that must be a deal the rice krispies must be a deal breaker for that guy do you think anybody would have replied and been like yeah same yeah well we just said prefer knock on 10 doors one personal answer absolutely and my other thing is um what's the one that i i quite like throw enough shit at the wall and something's gonna stick yeah exactly so

you can't really listen that's what you want no do you no i mean oh god it's been got men in the room i don't know about this but um no i don't yeah you do no i don't have any like weird kinks like that um go on no i've got to be no this is really dangerous actually because i've got a husband um if i was i'm not saying i would do this but if i was to watch porn i quite like the um man and woman and then not threesome like a double penetration i quite like watching that and i also quite like watching when the man and woman and the husband's watching it's called like voyeurs voyeurs i would i've never done it i genuinely never done it But I don't really have any more kinks.

I've never really thought about it. However. I don't know the name that you search on Pornhub. Voyeurism. Voyeurism. No, I get that voyeurism thing. Like, yeah, like sometimes we'll be like, me and Lauren like start watching something really disgusting

and we're like, ugh, stop. But no, I actually don't have any and I'm not really a kinky person. Like that time we were watching those swingers, remember? It was like a Tuesday afternoon. Oh, yeah, that was like, oh, my God, we couldn't stop watching. We were like, and then we were like, stop looking. I don't have any, and I'm not that weird in the bedroom, really.

Like, I'm really not. They're like bondage-y stuff. My friend is fully into, like, being tied up, as in, like, all four posts, like, fully, like, star-stretched and stuff like that, and I'm not into that. Maybe it's a bit boring. and she also um has all the gear where she'll like he'll put her in like a dog collar and like shag her from behind and stuff but i'm just i just sexist i mean james is just happy to get it i

think like yeah no no i think most men are just happy to get it we're not kink shaming either no no it's just not i i feel silly i think i feel silly oh yes christina grod yeah led in we put it out on instagram i just asked for people's kinks and for their partner's kinks as well and again we're not kink shaming no we're not interested guys and the rice krispies thing is a bit you know i mean i'm more concerned that that doesn't sound have you got them but anyway do you want me to read some of them read them yeah a lot of them we've not heard these so that's we're some quite similar a lot of them are similar there's lots of threesomes i wouldn't say that's a kink someone says what is it yeah someone says we have threesomes with

my best friend oh no whiskey there's a lot of feet and who is it the I feel like feet is more of a fetish um I don't know what's the difference between a fetish and a kink so yeah a fetish is basically like one say like a body part or something like that a kink is like more of like a role play isn't it or um there is a I'll have to have a look there is a proper definition they are your thoughts on feet it's quite nice having like your toe sucked no a lot of people said that and they like it do they a lot of people like it yeah um swinging comes up a lot um i do you know what right not with someone i knew but i kind of get the swinging like if you were bored yeah and if you both like swapped and you were both swapping so you were both doing it as well so it's not like

anyone was doing it wrong like no one was cheating you but i kind of there's always one person though that wants to do the swinging more than the other. Oh, yeah. Or the threesome. Yeah, like that programme that we watch. That Open House on Channel 4. Oh, God, guys, and we've mentioned it before, but please watch Open House.

Your mouth will be dropped. I hope they're doing a new series of that. I think I've still got a few to watch, and they have threesomes, but it films it all, and there's always one that is more keen than the other, and then the next day, they sit down with a therapist, and one of them's like... Like, they just look like...

One of them's like, yeah. Their soul is like... When they come, they're both smiling. they're like yeah we want to take our relationship we're really ready for this we're ready to explore the next day one's like and the other one's like it was great and then the other one's like what are we doing and the other one's like you didn't look at me once the whole thing you pushed me off the bed and chugged the girl it's like honestly you have to be very secure it is usually to be fair the woman yeah yeah there was one where the man it was a it was two men sorry a couple a woman

and a man and then a woman got introduced and it showed it in the dark you know that like tv where you can see in the dark yeah and she is basically having it off with this girl and the guy's trying keeps trying to get a look in and she they are not and he ends up standing there wanking just watching and he's not they're not letting him in and then they all get in bed at the end and the woman cuddles the other woman and the man is like this tossing and turning you can see him do you know like with that whatever his camera and he's like this his eyes are wide the girls are asleep cuddling and he's like this ding his eyes are like he's turning he's tossing the next day she's like ah i thought that was great and he's like i did not like that was he really honest and he was

like that was awful you didn't even look at me was i even in the room and she's like oh sorry did i get carried away and he's like i'd love to know like a year on from that program if they're all like still but it's really interesting i find that did we get any like really weird ones christina i wouldn't say weird but there's like um so again we're not we're all today he's very scared of us offending people um so someone said talking about sex with each other's friends like having an affair but without the guilt so a lot of it is swinging right spitting in mouth oh that's common uh yeah i've been yeah i've had the i've had the odd girls someone said i love a compliment telling me how good i am doing well yeah that's yeah i'd say that's standard like yeah yeah and if you like

it yeah if you like it say it what about me nice and i'll carry on like yeah tell me it's good and i'll keep going yeah um someone said arse play always for both of us i'm not an arse gal um but i know a lot of guys are into arse play james is absolutely not they're either into it or really know he has piles and he actually one of his parents really flared up at the minute um and we were talking last night and he went you're gonna say this on the pod tomorrow aren't you why what's he doing one of them's not good why it's not having a good time because i was he was looking at your thrush exactly so i had the thrush and then he was like well we're on it look at this he's not having a good time down there is it from it's from the yeah he's not doing well down there

so we were laughing like how much will we have to pay for canister and anusol in maldives it'll be about 100 quid a tube so we're gonna have to get some before we go um so he doesn't like bum stuff and i think it's because of that yeah but i've had oh wait we do have one i really want to peg someone oh yeah on here yes i would love to do that one day but not with a strap on just with a manual with a manual dildo yeah just with them and yeah i i've done that yeah who when i was like 20 oh i remember that yeah um i have it was messy it was odd um oh yeah but some people are and i get that i get that you want to actually fall on a shag and man up the arse don't yeah i get that as well yeah someone put dying to peg him he's going to let me if i marry him

apparently tempting um we've also got him giving me cash um yeah like pay pig oh i don't know about that i think you're just being tongue-in-cheek feet touching um someone said an oldie but goldie dirty talk is seriously underrated i'm not very good at it though i'm not can't be arsed to have the mental energy and i know i'm not good at that i feel a bit silly and i think again it comes from confidence like having the confidence to be like ride me big boy i don't know what do you say this one here sounds like something like that you would say about james i don't know i could just someone said me and my partner woof at each other i can imagine you doing that we do the if you could watch us in the house the weird shit we do like we pretend to be doll or we do the only fun silly

we are weird honestly we're very not in the bedroom he's never woofed gaslighting me into believing I'm always wrong

and actually stupid that's quite a big thing is that humiliation king oh yeah pissing on people as well so we watched who sent in

was it you was it me that sent in the Lily Phillips one which she's been weed on it didn't turn me on the wee bit

I would be weed on by my husband if he wanted to do that sometimes when we get in the shower he does it on purpose as a joke but not like not in my mouth someone put on patreon the other day like what are the best

waterproof bed covers or something oh wow someone's having a fun time um what else i think that's but what do you do just be like um hi it's time to go i need a wee now like that like makes it a bit planned fun and planned fun this is the thing with these kinks they're quite planned yeah like and and some like the rice crispy one it's like going into the co-op buying their rice crisps eating them like it's it's just like in the moment like weird like whatever fine but it's where you've got to go and buy we don't like doing anything we don't have to yeah so going to planned fun is not yeah yeah it's like the spontaneity of yeah yeah i agree send any more i wonder when we're in the maldives if we'll do quite a lot of that outside sex stuff

you know on the yeah we've got what's it called an overwater villa so i wonder if there'll be some outside sex i'll let you know you pregnant as well can you imagine someone hears us at it and thinks fucking hell there's a couple going for it and they look around and i'm there big fat bellies piles are hanging oh god they'd look around and be like oh god put salt on your crotch and yeah i wonder if we'll do some like i quite i don't mind a balcony shag yeah everyone but that's quite bad if you get caught like that it's quite indecent yeah isn't it do you remember when i was on holiday and that man was wanking yes yeah that was and we need to find that video i once on in thailand saw into someone's hut and they

were shagging and it well turned me on yeah in the bathroom it was loads of pubes he had loads of pubes so did she anyway anyway sorry about that guy i mean this episode is kind of bing bong bing and just remember guys if you're a new listener i don't know what to say um sorry but if you're a new listener it's tongue-in-cheek like everything's jokes we take the piss out of ourselves there's no you know yeah yeah okay um we're gonna move over to the bonus now which will be out on friday on patreon and we've got a little juicy q and a we've got a q and a we love doing them because sometimes we do the episodes but then you want to know random things like what do you have for breakfast and we don't cover that so right so it's nice to have a little chat

so we're gonna do a q and a over there first question i've just seen it is why did ashley not continue on housewives oh um so we will see you over there if you're an apple subscriber or patreon if not we will see you next wednesday guys bye