Nip Tuck - Belly Buttons, Bum Holes & Disneyland?

Episode Date: May 17, 2023

As this Friday the 19th marks the 2 year anniversary of the Nip Tuck, Not Giving A F*** podcast, Ashley & Lauren are doing something a little different and have dedicated todays episode to your messages. The girls share their advice on how to deal with a Mother-in-law from hell, who comes to visit 9 months of the year and shaves her Vag on the beach, get told that fingering your belly button can heighten sexual pleasure and the girls weigh in one Mother's dilemma: Full body hair removal or take your son to Disneyland...To get involved with the show, you can send us a DM on Instagram and TikTok, find us @niptuckpod.Or you can email [e-mail] can also send us your beauty questions, icks, dilemma's and Slutty Susan confessionals via WhatsApp! You can text or voice note the girls on [phone] Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hi guys! Welcome to Nip Tuck. Not giving a fuck. You keep saying the fuck now. Once you give no fucks and once you start saying it, you say it every time. This is the podcast where we celebrate being positive, aspirational, wonderfully lovely women. And it's all about being unapologetically who you are, who you want to be, whoever that may be. And it's Also, may I add, about not judging other people. For also, unless, we do do that a bit, don't we? Well, unless we want to, because we can do what we want. We're allowed.

We're allowed, you're not. Anyway, coming up on today's show, we answer your dilemmas, like how to deal with a nightmare mother-in-law who shaves her vagina on the beach with a dry razor. We help with your beauty advice questions. And it's slutty season time. trigger warning though guys toes and belly buttons are violated in this week's episode mine my fucking toe on nip tuck we want to get your voice heard you can email us hello

at nip tuck pod.com and you can also get in touch via whatsapp so that means your voice notes as well our whatsapp goes off we are constantly getting poor lucas um we can play them out in future episodes if you send voice notes and we will keep you anon and we will warp your voice if that's what you want us to do. Just head to this episode's description for more information on that. And we want to know what's been getting on your tits.

We want to know your beauty questions. Icks. Embarrassing stories. Dilemmas. Anything you want to know from us. Just any topics that you want to chat about, really. Say what you want, because...

We don't give a fuck. We don't, no. And we're back. In surgery. Sad Danny. In surgery. Right. Today's episode

is going to be a little bit different. In fact, so different that me and Ash don't even really know there's another one as well that used to play a restaurant near me and everyone went for the birthday and it would go um what tgi friday no no no it was like a local italian everyone went and you got a sparkler in your ice cream and they took a picture of you and what was it

happy birthday to you that's so yeah and everyone it's not rochdale it's rotten stuff and until Like, everyone did it. If you were from my area, did you go to Nino's for your 10th birthday and have a thing? I think I've been there with you. And then they take a picture and it comes out on, like, a Polaroid.

Anyway. Nino's in Rochdale, if anyone's been. You are pissing me off. Anyway, this Friday is our two-year anniversary. How long have we been friends then, Ash? Do you reckon now? So, we're 33. I started at my...

84 years. Long years. Was I 22? i think i was about 22 yeah so we've been friends for 10 years 11 11 anyway so two years well no you hated me at first yeah for like a week yeah you weren't very kind for a week lauren is a judgy girl for a week she's learned her lesson i didn't like her for a week and she's holding that over 11 years but that first week i mean you were annoying little little pomeranian swat came in like answering all the questions like getting your seat you're not you're new shut up that's

what it was like anyway it's our two-year anniversary right we're having a funny one today ash is in a foul mood but it's our two-year anniversary on friday and basically what did you get me as a present mate i don't even get your birthday present if you think you're getting a fucking two-year anniversary and i'm not getting teddy anything what is your two-year anniversary isn't it like cotton or something oh is it should we look to your wedding anniversary yeah look now um right you carry on while i look please you tell them what we're doing right so to celebrate our two year anniversary we are going to look back at our top five favorite moments as voted by you guys plus we have a really big announcement to make which we're so

excited about so today we are going to get through as many of your dilemmas beauty questions slutty susans all that good stuff as possible so here we go cotton you're right how do you know that i know how you know that because you've just done a two year wedding anniversary that's how you fuck it up I was really impressed I was like

how did she know that that's why I got that Louis Vuitton jacket oh okay you can have some knickers my knickers my old knickers yeah

cotton knickers are actually really hard to find you know and they're good for your vagina yeah they don't cause thrush and they let it breathe

do you sleep in knickers absolutely never it's not for me having like my dangle dangle out and I just feel like I just don't feel

I don't feel I don't feel settled without my knickers on But then I always think, what if I got broken into and I'm completely naked? And I'm like, they'd definitely fancy me and they'd be distracted. Yeah, but I don't have a top on, so I could shake my tits. Right, okay, so, dilemma. Okay, so just a little recap, if you got bored and turned the volume down,

or you sat and have spoke. Friday is our two-year anniversary. So we're kind of going to do the bonus today with the dilemmas, because we've got a lot to do on friday with catching up with our best moments we don't want to confuse you too much guys and get out of your routine we get upset if we get things out of sync we like it how they like it right we're gonna change things up today do you want me to read it because you've been really weird today ash has been ash has been horrible no my kids have both got a tummy bug so i probably passed it to you too so happy weekend you wanted to lose weight

anyway lucas you'll like me later and i pulled my shoulder and every time i say slept so it's like i've been on like a 10 day bend we're having a competition without the fun who's sad more sad i've pulled my neck really bad i can't move my neck and whenever i say oh my neck these two just go my back my pussy and i'm just no one gives a fuck i literally every time i say it you know when you like talk to sorry we're going off when you talk to james do you go never never i can't say the word pussy so james often uses it makes me go so james often uses it just as a description so like i would say fanny that would be my kind of main word not for him my my fanny no i wouldn't say i wouldn't even say it to him i don't know but if i was going to talk about i'd say fanny

but he would say pussy in a normal term so he might be like he might say something oh my god she had a pussy out even you saying that even the word isn't it rude it's crude it's crude um i don't say the word for a vagina like if there's any dirty talk i avoid the actual word because I don't know what to say what would you say my fanny no I would

what pastrami sandwich pastrami sandwich touch my pastrami sandwich I would I would avoid it too same avoid the

does anyone let us know what you're using dirty talk right come on you bastard girls I really need your help

potentially Lucas is too he's always here are you listening up Lukey whether you ask for his help or not he does let you know so to just

just a preface I'm an oh oh okay i'm an openly gay guy about six months ago me and my whole friend whole friend group went to abitha in the group there's five girls who i've been best friends with since high school and seven guys so a big group the other six being typical straight football lads who i also get on really really well with we're literally like one big family love that however i think i know what's coming yeah

however out of the boys there is one guy in particular who is basically the creme de la creme of our area he's sexy i'm talking drop dead gorgeous every girl fancies him and wants to sleep with him you'd think this would make him a typical lads lads muppet who shags anyone with a pulse yeah um but he's the opposite why is he single he's so so lovely and so kind but not in a pussy boy way i like this person and he isn't the type to sleep around at all so getting back to the story on our third night in ibiza we'd all gotten back to our villa i'm getting excited and started having our naftas as we had nearly started in the morning one by one everyone started to trickle off to bed until it was just me i'm getting really excited and creme de la creme

creme de la creme oh did he look did he did you do the creme de la creme i had always gotten on with him really well this is really funny and i'm and i'm hilarious duh we chatted for hours and time started to fly and before we knew it it was seven bells and all our influences had started to wear off so as i went to call it a night and say good night to him he looked me dead in the eyes grabbed my face and started kissing me fucking hell i was so surprised as i'd never in a million years seen him in a romantic way before i'm sure i'm shook but it was the as the initial shock wore off i kind of fell into the kiss and oh my god it was so so amazing and passionate after we pulled away he did the usual straight boy please don't tell anyone just keep this between us speech and

obviously i was going to keep it between us as i don't think it's right to out anyone who isn't comfortable already for that oh i love this guy um i went to bed with my head spinning waking up to a text from him telling me that telling me to tell the group that he was too rough to go out we all had a bed at ocean that morning highway he did the same all all of our all of our friends went out and it was just us alone in the villa best sex i've ever had oh my god um we spent the rest of the holiday sneaking around backdooring events and sleeping together when everyone had gone to bed you go this continued when we got home with us meeting at least once a week leaving i'm leaving nights out and going back to each other's houses in separate taxis so it didn't

seem suspicious and the usual sneaky link we have had a lot of fun together the sex is unreal and he's also like my best friend he said on multiple occasions that no one can ever know about us and that this can't be anything more than sex because he's just not ready for people to know or think of him as being gay however i'm starting to catch feelings i've not told a soul about this situation but I'm starting to go extremely under about it all. I think about him so much all the time and I want him to fall in love with me and stop caring as much about what other people think.

Should I tell him how I feel or should I just cut it off and protect my peace? That has absolutely shook me. You have bought home the bacon. Yeah, well done. And the sausage. You are the cat that got the cream. Like, well done.

He didn't want any of the girls. He didn't want anyone else. He wanted you. Right, Lucas, I think you need to... are jealous i know lucas is this romantic ibiza story right so i'm looking at lucas now because i don't know i think because if you ever slept with a straight guy yes yeah and was it does that make them straight it doesn't then does it so this guy is i would say by curious bisexual or gay but you do definitely have to honor his privacy i think you have to get to a point where you say

right no more sex if if this has potential in the future carry on but if you are never going to come out walk away yeah i agree and i think one of the things is him coming out is going to be potentially a whirlwind and i'm sure it is for everyone yeah it's going to be a big deal so he needs to do that in peace and my worry is in his own time but my worry is that if you're also in a relationship and he comes out it all it's going to be a turbulent time so if he says okay i'm going to come out you might want to just step away from this i mean the dream is going to be that he goes i'm in love let's we're going to be together fuck it i don't think that's going to happen i think you're gonna need to let him so like lucas just said if he decides that he's never

gonna come out then you need to walk away but you know what though it's like sleeping with a married man if you're enjoying it in this moment no no no but you either do that or you need to maybe like realize yourself that it's not going anywhere i i think he's in too deep i don't think that's gonna happen though the man i would like to see him i know yeah i think what you need to do i get the worst yeah no i think i think honestly you're getting feelings down feelings aren't gonna go away he seems like a great guy so i think you need to have that conversation as luca said and just have some balls about you and just but listen i'm worth more than sneaking around it's fun at first it's not anymore and you also are cutting yourself off to dating anyone else because your head's

going to be yeah totally into him yeah you're blocking your blessings he's cock blocking he is so you ask him it where are we going with this i think ask the question you'll always wonder what if if not and if he says i'm never coming out then you have to move on because also taking the piss giving him his cake and eating it means that he's never going to come out if you take the cake away okay okay okay okay if you take the cream cake away he may then think it may push him to I think I missed the cake and I want the cake back so I'm going to come out.

If he does come out, I'd pull away while he's coming out and let him do that himself. Lucas is laughing because I said pull away. Oh, you fucking childish gay man. I think move away while he comes out.

I don't know what you think, Lucas, but let him have that. That is a bit separate thing, isn't it? I wonder how old they are. The only thing I would say is even if it goes sour, don't out him.

Never out him. No, I don't think this guy is going to ever do that. I think he sounds actually very mature. You sound lovely. Can you DM me and tell me who you are?

Yeah, I know. i want to see who the guy is i want to see i actually respect the fact that you've kept this a massive secret i couldn't so i knew um i tell you when we were a lot i know when we were a lot lot lot younger um my early probably about 15 there was a guy that we used to hang around with and i still see him now and he's absolutely lovely and he was he came out to be gay and i found out that one of my gay friends had had a thing with him and nobody knew and i did not tell okay i told chris i told my boyfriend at the time but other than that i didn't tell a fucking soul for forever i've never said it and he's out now and proud he's got a boyfriend not my business and he was

only about 14 and i remember the friend saying like i've done something with such and such i was like what but i never told a soul so i think you're right in saying that and i think that's like me being caught on that swingers website fuck i've just outed myself shit um can you dm us and just show me the guy i will never repeat it and show me who you are because i'm really interested there's no need to do that he's a secret keeper i think he'd worry about oh shit yeah because then be telling the guy sorry sorry i didn't think well can you tell me who you are uh because i really like you okay that's it next a voice note now a voice no press play okay so please put me anonymous girls um because any of my close friends that know that i listen to this will definitely

know that this is me um so i had a partner for three years we just broke up um last year we lived together first boyfriend i had ever lived with or anything like that like i was totally in love with him and then he was a bit wild on the drink and the drugs and stuff and i've closely monitored things once i was living with him and i kind of realized that he was up to stuff behind my back when he was drunk but not when he was sober not an excuse though so fuck him and um i had heard a lot of things and stuff eventually i did through his phone after a night out after like three years of never getting through his phone ever and I was right he had been up to stuff whatever so I ended up was heartbroken um and I've always been really close with his

best friend you probably know where this is going I knew his best friend before I was even with him as well and I've always had a pure attraction to him fast forward to now I have been seeing his best friend on the sly for five months we both really do have feelings for each other obviously nobody knows um we both love ourselves so we both can like see um one another in each other's houses and stuff on the sly and we go far away if we're ever going to go on dates or anything like that i'm really caught up in a situation um but we both really like each other and all the rest of it but i kind of want help but i feel terrible because my ex has obviously done me really dirty however like i loved him i do care about his feelings because i would never have cheated on him so

i do feel really bad but i'm really happy with the person i'm with right now who also feels terrible about what he's doing but we've both always had like a wee spark going on for years and years and years and we've acted on it finally and i'm so happy but i'm also just like oh this is really bad and people are going to hate us i just my personal opinion is you know what when the time's right we should just say fuck what everyone thinks and probably let my ex down gently and let him know before he finds out however we don't know how to bring it out um um it's just a bit of a mess right okay so i need to say something actually i'm not gonna i'm not gonna it's gonna cause me

loads of shit forget that um i'm not gonna i'm not saying it you can keep this bit in but i ain't saying i'm calling the police i'm not saying anything anymore because i can't be honest right okay so she's learned a lesson now okay so um i would say if he's cheated on you if you've been fucking if he cheated on you and he put you through that then i don't think you should feel guilty that isn't to say that you should be nasty about him and i like the way you say you still you still you know respect his feelings but love prevails always and if you love each other or nearly do or and you sound so happy to be with this guy like don't spoil your happiness what happens happens i think what you need to do is it should probably be the friend that tells the your

ex or both of you together and you make him aware before anyone else i think that's respectful let's hope he quickly gets a new girlfriend and you say look it hasn't been happening you know it's just one of those things and it is what it is don't don't be sorry about it because what is there to be sorry about you've met someone that you've really got feelings for this would never have happened had he not cheated on you you would have still been together potentially so it is what it is and then with regards to telling everyone else personally i wouldn't make like a big show of it i would just carry on as normal but stop hiding it just do your normal things you're grown up you're together it will probably be a bit of a talk of the town for five minutes yeah and then

that will be it it is old news then because someone else will have shagged someone else and everyone was like when i got married everyone was like yeah for a bit now nobody cares anymore i know somebody who um ran away with the groom with the bridesmaid i know the wedding and at the time it was a mass i think he the groom ended up with the bridesmaid yeah and it was a huge scandal at the time and now nobody cares they've got children everyone's got kids everyone's moved on no one's asked yeah so i just think you need to own it you're happy continue to be happy don't let anyone take your happiness away from you because you deserve it

and so does your current partner. You two have done nothing wrong here. You've just fallen in love. I think it's cute. I think don't feel guilty and also don't be sorry or shamed about it because people will copy your reaction. And they lived happily ever after.

Yeah, I'm happy for you. Now, we are on a roll. Stop making a drama of it. We are on a roll. Let's go. Dilemma of the week. Dilemma of the week. Hi girls.

Just wanted to say how much I love your podcasts. i live abroad away from my friends and family and this cheers me up so much i can't wait for the new episodes each week now settle in this is a long one i apologize in advance i've got a lot to get off my chest so as i said i live abroad i moved away from the uk four years ago to start a new life with my husband and my daughter but it was in dubai my dilemma is that his mum will not leave in capital letters. She comes on holiday, inverted commas, for nine months at a time.

So would I if my son lived abroad. And comes to stay with us for a few nights, which then turns into weeks. It would be okay. However, she is a monster in law. Oh, no. I do not know where to begin with this one. Let's just say she's a mum of four sons.

what do you expect always the way always she comes to stay with me and doesn't lift a fucking finger she drinks countless cups of tea leaves tea rings everywhere she doesn't make her bed she doesn't help out with my daughter she doesn't do anything and i mean anything grandparents aren't supposed to help as i said she comes for nine months of the year what the actual fuck she's the most infuriating person i've ever met the boys can do no wrong my husband could go and sleep with 10 women in front of me and she would blame me oh she sounds horrible it causes friction in my relationship and we argue constantly when she's here i'm actually starting to get the ick of my husband because of his mum she claims she has all sorts of health problems and makes everyone feel

saw me for her she claims she had skin cancer on her back and that she was diagnosed by a back street doctor under an ikea lamp and pound shop magnifying glass it was a wart so basically she makes up like all of these health problems she shaves her legs armpits and fanny with a dry razor on the beach no matter who's looking at her she uses dust bags from my designer items as decoration in her home oh how do i approach my husband without sounding like a total fucking dickhead to tell him his mum needs to be at my house oh my god she says she's broached the subject a few years ago and was told well you lived in a house when we lived in the uk it's only right we return the favor it's not no girls i stayed in the house of his night one night a week for seven years

Okay, so change the locks, change your phone number. Push her off a cliff. Have you seen that TikTok? Well, no, you won't have done. And it's like, would you rather live with your mother-in-law or, and then it cuts to this woman going, the second option. Whatever the second option is, give it to me. That's you.

Right, okay. look the way i see this is your husband should be your best friend and he should have your back and if you're not happy and it's tough to he needs to man up and you need to woman up a bit and say to him nah i'm not doing this i know this is horrible but you need to make the house as uncomfortable as possible for this bitch nah this woman is like asbestos she ain't going nowhere she doesn't care well then what can she do she needs to speak to her husband and say no i'm not doing this anymore and and don't let him make you feel guilty he's a mummy's boy yeah well toffee needs to check what is he so he's gonna lose his wife and kid then no i know people that are like you

need to speak to him and you need to own what you're saying don't go in there with like i really like a butt you need to go in there and say let me we need a serious talk about this whether you agree or not does he not think the shaving legs is weird yeah but then he's gonna say but then he's gonna say what what is her living with us got to do with the fact that she shaves a fanny on the beach in front yeah but that's just annoying it's not you can't say that that's like she needs to go through like the not helping the house

and also she needs to sex I think you I suggest you pull the sex away from him as well and be like when your mum's here I'm not as horny anymore like I don't feel

connected to you anymore I can't have sex when your mum's in the house yeah it's making me not feel as connected to you and then he's going to think oh she no fancy me no more and then panic

you could grow a fucking baby in that time that she lives with you yeah I honestly think also I bet your daughter like finds her I bet she finds her weird

yeah you need to speak to him properly you need to say this is causing a problem for me in our relationship but don't go in there being like sorry for your own opinion

go in there quite straight with how you feel and that you're validated in that if you go in there and you're like but I do like it

but I just then he'll just go to your weakness you need to go in and say honestly I've thought about this for a long time whether you like it or not

whether you agree or not this is how I'm feeling and we have to sort it out and it's his fucking problem otherwise I can't have sex with you I'm starting to go off you otherwise

divorce I'd start on Hinge you find someone new make sure that Jesus Ashley meet the mother-in-law I couldn't deal with that. And do you know what?

I'd be a bitch to the mother-in-law. No, I'd just say to her, I'd pull her up on shit. Unfortunately, like, the way in which people, especially mother-in-laws, before you're married and you've got the kid, they fucking try. They push it with you. Yeah, they don't see what they can get away with.

But then once you've got the ring, you've got the kid. Yeah. They need you then because they don't want it yet. Then. Then you're the boss. Then you're the boss. And this is where you need to turn this around. you know like with the passive aggressive comments i love that i turn around and just

don't laugh i just stare i go yeah yeah like just start and then the bed boundaries like make her feel like with the bed thing be like honestly do you not make your bed yeah like oh yeah yeah yeah that kind of thing and then i say i can't go about my day unless my bed is made and she's done a thing here where she said that she uses her spoon and eats so say she's eating tikka masala the mum will go and get a spoon of it and eat it off a plate when she's not looking that's vile

so then you look and you go oh my god don't do that but also if that was your mum oh that's gross things like that you'd pull your mum up on it of course you would I think you need to start

out in her and making her feel a bit uncomfortable old hoe but you need to speak to the husband because I think you're very well within your rights about this one in fact why don't you play in this episode

because we're agreeing with you hey listen to this no I mean say listen I've sent the dilemma in yeah well there you go and they agree and if you're listening

buy her a pair of shoes and a new bag to compensate yeah for this trauma that you've caused your wife okay so we've got another voice now hit it luki hit it luki hi girls um i've got a little dilemma i'd like some help with please yes um my local beauty salon has come up with an offer of 50 off all laser hair removal i've wanted this for a long time um however the cost is going to be about the same as taking my son to disneyland so my dilemma is full body hair removal or take your kid to disneyland thanks for your help bye one two three one two three disneyland i have questions are you single yeah and how hairy are you because if you look like a bear right if you're single yes laser hair over disneyland you fucking bitch yeah no never and i'm not like i'm not saying

mum of the year look at me because i'm not i'm absolutely not fucking great i'm absolutely not but i'll tell you one thing i'll tell you one thing right nothing hits like mum guilt right you don't really get it that bad do you i get it i get it to the point it's horrific now i would rather like a bear than have mum guilt honestly i would it's that horrific so if you're gonna get the mum guilt of all mum guilt taken to disneyland and just shave you can wax you can shave like laser hair removal i don't get me wrong fuck me it's amazing but i wouldn't i don't think you can there's other way you're not going to stay hairy it's not a case of your hairy or laser you can still shave like every other fucker does that must be quite a good deal on disneyland by the way

yeah how much are you getting disneyland for because we looked didn't we yeah right here's another thought why don't you do a cheaper disneyland if i'm getting cheaper and do one area of laser no you need to keep the course no but if she's got a hairy face for example yeah um no i don't think i love laser hair but i think you take him to disneyland and save up for the laser hair there'll be another offer mate just start a gofundme page and put pictures of your hairy minge on it and then say like help me get rid of my hair and men will die for that um yeah so the answer here is ash has laser i say disneyland i just don't think memories right okay what if you get what if you got hit by a bus tomorrow or like okay or like you're lying there

like memories and stuff like that with your kids will always prevail what if you got hit by a bus tomorrow and then they've got to get the scissors out and cut your outfit off

and you've got a bush she can still shave though like Disneyland anyway Disneyland and then find someone rich you can fucking pay for it

next time so this is never a question fisticuffs we're going to have fisticuffs what fisticuffs what's that off fisticuffs

anyway we'll be back after the break to answer your beauty questions and hear of your slutty seasons are you a loyal listener of nip tuck do you set an alarm on wednesday and friday ready for the new releases do you laugh out loud when on the train or driving to work you know what i'm gonna say because you hear it every week tell your nearest and dearest about nip tuck spread the love spread the podcast spread the podcast not chlamydia share the episode on whatsapp now we're

gonna give you a couple of minutes to do it because it will make us smile okay we are back and we've got some beauty questions beautiful hi girls i'm hoping you can help with some skin advice please i love the pod and i listen religiously every week and you've honestly got me through a really tough time oh shitty husband fucked off with one of his employees but that's another story that happened to me with mistake with 20 grand mistake

he was shagging the girl who worked for him when I was and I gave her some skin care as well really nice when I met her I was like he was shagging her

when you were engaged yeah I think when we were together yeah still so she I met her because obviously I went somewhere

and he was a boss and I gave her some of my Obagi because she said she was struggling with the skin and then she was shagging him they went on to have children

they're not together now anyway just letting you know I've been there done that there's not much i haven't and then mistake number two was shagging the waitress the husband yeah since my pregnancy and having my little girl i've forgot where we were then i've uh sorry just oh about me trauma yeah just served you with a handful of trauma

take that and this is why i am how i am to the face i've got quite a large patch of rosacea on my cheek it's always there but it does flare up i've tried zoe alumia tatcher tatcher tatcher facials but nothing makes it go because i don't think those things you've said would do you have any tips or treatments which could help as i'm willing to try anything ipl for rosacea lumeca yeah ipl is um so lumeca talk about it you're better than me talk explain to her what it is basically it's like think of laser hair removal machines and ipl machines are usually the same kind of device so the IPL machine will on your skin your fair skin and then it will hit the red veins and cauterize them which means stop the blood supply through them so that then it doesn't

run through and you don't have that rosacea now rosacea by the way is if anyone doesn't know you can get acne rosacea there's different types of rosacea it's like a redness to the skin men have acne rosacea often to the nose or is it called something else rosacea and they get you like when they drink a lot and they get big red noses so uh things like lauren just said alcohol coffee can aggravate it also make sure you're wearing an spf because once the sun hits your face then it will you know make the rosacea a lot more noticeable our favorite spf the meso-aesthetic one yeah the best there's loads of their range all of those things you've mentioned tatcha is just a beauty cream that's not going to do anything personally alumio was not for me

i really didn't rate it the absorption of the products is non-comparable to other prescription skincare brands now zeddo there is one product in that range which will help with the rosacea which is called rosatrol and i used it and i found it very very rosacea yeah my my old it's because i'm so pale right i get all these broken veins on my cheeks yeah that's why i have to have ipl like three four times i get problems around my nose but yeah i get it everywhere and it's hereditary so you'll notice in your family that someone's got it as well but you can also um help rosacea with your hormones too so there's a lot of like different hormone blend tea and all of that but in essence ipl and rositrol don't do anything to aggravate your skin and there you go honey that

will help you get on your way to recovery from the rosacea hi ladies i'm sorry it's not a slutty susan or anything but i've been listening to old episodes i love them honestly and come across this one about compression garments after giving birth can you recommend a brand for this i'm totally oblivious and i don't want to buy cheap buy twice that is so true i mean i'm not sure if they are as effective on bigger girls and i know that they're not going to perform a miracle but i'd try anything macom we both used macom in our pregnancies um postpartum and you've used them post surgery i've used them post surgery um and they have the best stuff now our friend on instagram her name is nadja n-a-d-j-a underscore macom i think is her account but um she is amazing and she will

actually tell you which one is best for you if you send over a little brief note about you um then she they're a very helpful um company really good customer services right next one hi both love the pod and i've listened from day one i follow you both and really believe in your recommendations thank you because we don't talk crap so when you both said you weren't taking the pill and ashley introduced us to the beyond the pill book i was intrigued i've been on the pill for 15 years throughout that time i've switched them due to issues with my skin so i'm now 31 i decided it was time to read the book and listen to you both also one of my friends is trying for a baby and she was on the pill for the same time as i was and is now struggling to conceive scary that isn't it

i've been off it for about two months and i don't regret it however my skin is awful no i keep breaking out in random spots mainly whiteheads and sometimes one will literally appear from nowhere i've always been into skincare so i use retinol poor therapy salicylic so she's using the right stuff and it's really getting me down i was hoping you'd know whether this is normal what side effects there are and if there's anything i can do as i don't want to go back on it thank you thank you now she says that she had a spot on her forehead where it does it say that no a white heads okay right okay so if the spots around your mouth area that 100% means that it's related to your hormones and also jawline and neck and chin is all that lower part lower

face means it's related to your hormones yeah cheeks are diet i believe food diet vitamins yeah and then um forehead basically using the wrong products and you're irritating yourself so what i would say is you have got unfortunately so used to the pill and if you've read the book you'll know that once you come off it you have to do certain things it's like say when alcoholics stop drinking yeah they need like um what's the word withdrawal yes yes so you you're having a lot of withdrawal symptoms and unfortunately your skin is your largest organ in your body this is going to be highly impacted so um i follow a lady on instagram her name is nikki hill apothecary and she's based in wilmslow but if you don't live nearby it's okay you can message her

she will make you a hormone blend tea depending on what you need do you want me to take you there one day honestly before my period if i drink that i feel like i don't you know me i don't the zeta west supplements are absolutely amazing for anything hormonal um and her website has got like a lot of information on there because it sounds to me like actually the products you use in a fine it's not like you need because i would always say poor therapy like that's amazing if that's still not working then it's not to do with your products it's within yeah um so you need to look at that and just stick with it stick with it because it's a withdrawal symptom yeah we've all had it and your weight will fluctuate your mood will fluctuate two months sounds a long time but

i remember going to my lady i used to have facials with and your mental my skin had gone really bad and she was like well when did you come off the pill this is a while ago and i was like ages what's ages and i went three months that's not ages it can be six months it takes honestly ages to get out of your system i'd maybe perhaps even go for like a blood test just to see if you're inadequate of something it's not that expensive as people think just get all your hormones checked and then with regards to your friend conceiving definitely get on to zeta west for that okay take it away lukey we've got a voice now hi girls i was actually coming on here to tell you something totally different and then just discovered an ick while i'm on the motorway

have you ever seen like workmen in their work vans and you have like giant teddies in their vans this guy is like obviously just driving next to me clearly trying to get my attention so i'm just like trying to safely drive down the motorway next minute he's making the bear wave at me i'm like is this a thing i don't know i think that's an ick why are you getting about with a giant i agree i'm not into it anyway the point of the story was i'm going to a sex party do we call them? swingers party

what do we call them? don't know in my bay on Saturday and I was like who can I share this with? because I can't share it

with anyone but the Nits of Girls so I'm going to report back I have no idea what to expect outfit has to have feathers on it we're excited

i am so excited please share my excitement with you me oh my god i'm excited lucas when was this sent and can we up can we um ask her how it went yet before the bank hall was it i'm not sure but hopefully she'll hear that right we've listened get back in touch and put the subject maybe email us with the subject header report back from swing so we know it's you because we're getting millions don't let us lose it i make it clear to have gone last night to the swingers party but i couldn't because the kids are real aren't they so um i'm going again and i've been spotted on the the swingers app yeah um this is really funny so i'm on the swingers app um and which is the killing kittens app because i'm on there for research purposes guys but someone messaged

like hi um this might not be you someone's using a fake profile so we were like firstly we were like oh so you're into swinging on that and then we were like no it's it's me um i'm so excited i think these are going to become bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger good why not and i think maybe people will be more inclusive like it might break barriers i'm just excited for the tea to be spilt yeah same um can i just say i'll tell you something i've just quickly thought of i got a message this morning from a girl um can i read it dead dead quick because i forgot do you know how i went on a massive massive rant about people messaging me about cauliflower ears and about people just being rude one of the girls who sent which i thought might have been one of the girls

who sent the message the what's on his ear that girl has put i'm listening to the pod i'm so sorry babe you're so right and i apologize love you loads so i just put it's okay it wasn't just you i probably offend people every day so yeah she said sorry which i thought it was nice right here we go go you go i'm a huge you get paid more than me i imagine if one of us got paid more it would definitely be me i've ruined my life well more than you hi lovelies i'm a there's a video circulating the internet where i say i just swing from dick to dick which is out of context so i get paid more two year pay review after this oh brilliant no anyway hi lovelies i'm a huge fan of the pod keep up the amazing work i have a bit of a strange story for you my boyfriend and i have

been dating for a little over a year now and we are having some of the best sex i have ever had now when we started dating he revealed to me that he's a belly button fetish i'm trying new things and i don't have any problem with belly buttons so i went along with it and oh my god what i now get some of the best orgasms ever basically while we're doing anything he gently inserts his finger or tongue into my belly button i'm doing it as we speak and touches the bottom of it no that's no it amplifies everything i couldn't believe this when it first during the set yeah so when she's going to orgasm as well have you experienced anything like this i don't know what causes it whether it's the type of belly button or what but i know some people hate having the belly button

touched but i would honestly recommend trying it to see these are the kind of messages that we need we love this right so put it in i can't mine's not mesh i've got a mesh of course you have my belly of course you have um mine's not very deep but i'm so willing to give this my abs um split when i was pregnant lauren's fingering one of the bum one of the fingers anyway

so it turns out belly buttons in the finger I am the music man I can run I can run I can run so a belly button

a finger in the belly button apparently but when does this game get good don't put that on socials put it on put it on socials I fucking don't care anymore

right okay we're gonna give can you send us i like they're my favorite like informative love are your feet clean always give me a toe close your eyes close your eyes give me your toe darling are you taking off my sock they're a bit dry. They're a bit dry. How nice does that feel? Do you not remember what she was saying about last week? That did not feel nice. Did it not? What was I saying about last week? After men, she's giving up men. Oh yeah. Oh my God, yeah. Did you not like that? It was all right but look at this what i can do can anyone else do this i'll lick my own i can't do

that no um i think that probably should be made into a video clip like nipples and toes are like a no more i didn't know about belly button it was all right it felt all right thanks for that it's all right okay next thing jay fart jay fart voice note jay fart go on hey girls um love you love the pod literally me and my friends are so obsessed with um listening it makes life so much funnier at least i know there's other people out there like us so many so this is a story that i feel like the whole pod listeners will really appreciate so when i was with my ex-boyfriend he was really not obsessed but like yeah basically obsessed with wanting to like have bum sex with me because I'd never ever done it with anyone and I feel like it was like a manly

thing you know and they're all like basically want to go where no man's ever been before um I was petrified I literally didn't want to do it um and then one time I was really really pissed obviously I thought oh fuck it like let's just do it so I ended up doing it I mean not for me not very nice experience um and then in the morning i was so hungover i was being sick and then like i was you know and you're like heaving yeah and then i was i can't even say it i was like pushing so much sick out of my mouth they obviously like farted and i just felt something like fly out of my bum and I literally looked around and I'd like farted cum out and it had like shot across the bathroom and it was just there sitting on the bathroom mat and I lived with

like some other girls at the time and I just literally got rid of that bathroom mat never told them what happened i would have ran down with it my boyfriend at the time and i must have just sat there i just didn't say a word i felt like i'd been like violated and it took me about two hours to turn around and go do you want to hear something funny it still makes me laugh to this day but yeah i just think be careful if you're going in that area i totally agree another slutty susan here we go i'm a nurse for the nhs and i was on a night shift i kept in contact through the night with my fella by texting he was at home and told me he was chilling and having a few drinks at around 2am he said night night love i'm off to sleep when i arrived home at 8am after

my shift i walked into the bedroom to him fast asleep and my big dildo which i hide in the drawer next to him on the fucking bed with a condom on it i knew that no one else had been at our home as i had a ring doorbell which showed no one coming and going basically he'd been bumming himself with my toy whilst i was at work what made it worse was that he said he didn't know how it got there we finished that day and i've never seen him since haha wow what would you do though what do you do you'd have to admit it why why did you get rid of him some guys like off the horse yeah true

at least he's doing it with the dildo not a real car yeah true I don't know why she got rid of him really I don't know

how would you feel also like would it not be a bit icky that he denied it yeah like fair enough if he'd have been like mate I was really horny

and I wanted a posh dildo up the bum because that's what it was you'd laugh what would you do if it was Ed peg him

peg him you'd be like finally you left me out that is the worst how dare you if that was James I'd laugh about it

I'd be like sweet I'll do it for you next time if you want just be that but the fact that he denied it is posse

right that's been a rather chaotic I have really really enjoyed today episode I hope we filled it with as much advice

as possible dildos and all sorts of stuff all in your arse in your bum in your belly button whatever

wow it's been a wild one hasn't it Dangle in, dangle down, dangle out. Thank you for that. Today's been good. I've actually really enjoyed the dilemma. So thank you about that.

And remember, on Nip Tuck, we want you to get your voice heard, just like today. We love it. You can email us at hello at niptuckpod.com. You can also get in touch via WhatsApp, and that means voice notes as well, which we can play out in future episodes. We love a voice note, but if you don't want to do that,

send us an email, a WhatsApp, a DM. head to this episode's description for more information and don't forget to give us a five star rating and review and tell your mates to as well now as we mentioned at the beginning of this episode we're gonna be back with a bonus episode of nip tuck on friday extended and extended it's gonna be a bit different we're gonna be celebrating our two-year anniversary like we've told you our cotton anniversary and we're gonna look back at our top five moments so you guys picked on socials your top five

moments of the last two years and we've got some big news to tell you oh we've got something special you want to get

closer to us you can get really close it's our anniversary present to you yeah yeah okay we'll see

you on Friday girls and boys love you bye