Nip Tuck - Bonus Babes: Banging His Bro's

Episode Date: November 4, 2022

It's the bonus episode, dedicated to your amazing stories and dilemmas. Last week Ashley told us a rumour that went round at her school and it turns out they are still going strong. One of our listeners has a dilemma as she's got a friend with benefits, but now his mates have joined the club...What should she do?To get involved with the show, you can send us a DM on Instagram and TikTok, find us @niptuckpod. Or you can email [e-mail] can send us your Icks & Dilemma's via Whatsapp! You can text or voice note the girls on [phone]Our GDPR privacy policy was updated on August 8, 2022. Visit acast.com/privacy for more information. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

hello and welcome to nip tuck not giving a fuck bonus you stopped again so i had to say it bonus edition this is the podcast where we celebrate being positive aspirational women sexy women sexy women i'm not that sexy sexy is all about your mindset yeah so if i think i'm sexy then i'm sexy no you are thanks um it's all about being unapologetically yourself whoever that may be whatever you want to do be that person do that thing it's friday morning baby look yourself in the mirror and scream i am that sexy boss bitch please don't do that that's so awkward you want people to actually do that i do that most days do you yeah oh wow okay well if that's what you're gonna do look i tell people listen in the car look in your wing mirror not wing mirror

Rearview mirror now. Look at yourself and think, I am sexy. One trick, girls. Before we get right into it, this girl was telling me, if you go in a lad that you see in his car and make sure that you put the mirror in a certain place and then check it the next time you go in, it means that there's not been another girl in the car.

What, because they would have moved it? Because how tall you are? They would have opened it. Oh, that. I've never, ever looked in the flap with the mirror. I haven't done the whole time I'd rather not see what I look like Also it's covered in makeup as well

Really I know Okay well there you go There's a little tip for you guys Let's get going So on NipTuck We want you to get your voices heard You can email us at Hello at NipTuckPod.com

You can also send your ics And your dilemmas via WhatsApp now That means voice notes too So that we can play you out in future episodes However don't worry if you prefer to remain anonymous then we will never reveal who you are your secrets are safe with us always if you want to know the information of how you can get in touch go to the episode's description and you can click on there and you can tell us everything really what's been getting on

your tits what's giving you the ick anything any other bits any other bits so your questions we love your embarrassing poo and sex stories basically we don't give a fuck no we don't so we don't give a fuck i don't give a fuck okay so hi girls i am dming a review so cute as i rarely do that do you know what how i live through life is looking at other people's reviews of things but i would never write a review myself that's a bad so yes you're one of society's bad people i love this i rarely leave a review but i really must do for you guys my best friend recommended this podcast she is also a new mum lovely to me and i've been listening every morning whilst at the gym well done for going to the gym with a new kid oh my god

it gets worse sorry i'm a new mum and after convincing myself from your podcast that i shouldn't have mum guilt for going to the gym for an hour every morning absolutely shouldn't have it's refreshing babe you carry on with that you need that hour absolutely take two take two you are literally the dream to listen to real down to earth no shit account of life and mum life which i'm just about getting to grips with let me tell you now you are never going to get grip to grips with it people pretend they have but they've not never you guys deserve every second of success and i'll be a fan as long as you run the podcast and forever oh how nice is that that's so nice you know what that makes up for like i bet you any money any money that right now there

is someone listening to this podcast that doesn't like us why there will be because these people weird stay in your own lane and they don't like us and then they will listen purely to like pull us to pieces so my thank you weird yeah like you're just obsessed with you're obsessive so if you are listening now and i know you are hon you hon i know but it makes me angry still this is the difference between me and lauren she goes like have you read this comment i to be fair was the one that at first said to me exactly i read the tiktok but now the way in which you have to look in life is tunnel vision no i agree but what i have to say is this lady has been literally that's really nice and that makes up for the people and i know you're listening there karen

you're gonna listen to this and then slag us off after and what i have to say is you have one hour that you've just wasted listening to me you silly prick jealousy is just love and hate at the same time yeah okay thanks drake anyway new insta caption put on her notes new captions if anyone gets a fire picture this weekend that is your caption i hear you okay so we have an update we do have an update so one of the videos i'm really enjoying tiktok um and one of the videos not the comments not the comments that we put i don't mind them i don't read it's the people that are genuinely invested in us that i think you fucking loser get a life get off you stop eating crisps at your computer i love doing that crumbs everywhere and typing away like i hate

ashley because of this i shut up do one are you premenstrual maybe that annoys me but the actual tiktok is fine so we did a tiktok because they're out there right they're amongst us we did a tiktok and we mentioned the rumor that always goes around schools and you mentioned alchingham girls grammar school can i tell you the amount of people that commented and tagged themselves there why have you got like a society there it's like a big deal just like if you've been there and you get it lived then yeah you understand um so tell us the story again ashley what the fuck i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry um who is it tell me let me have a look it'll be someone we can't get in without who is it read out the text if you're going to let your text

go off in the middle of recording then you apply reminder that you need a hygiene appointment you filthy cow no she's not lying you need a hygiene appointment anyway that'd be quite good a little service um right so ultra young girls grammar school so i said about the rumor of a boy and a girl were having bum sex and uh when lauren said about the tar macker and it squirted out all over the sofa and then they couldn't clean it up so they blamed the dog and they mom and dad had the dog put down so that's a rumor that was at your school when you were at school which was how long ago pal 20 years ago no not 20 yeah yeah fuck 20 years ago did you know listen to this so christina galera do you remember dirty that was like 20 20 years ago and can i just say

something just off topic i watched someone posted it and they posted her 20 years ago she looked fucking insane but she was a lot thicker curvier it was the hourglass figure no but can i say like britney when i watched that back in the day i thought she was really really slim and i remember looking thinking i wish i was as slim as that now i'm looking at it thinking yeah she looks banging but i think we're getting what we expect of people is getting thinner and thinner you know because look at that picture of her now she didn't look like that no i just prefer the whole hourglass okay um i'm just saying that when i looked at that i thank you for that adhd anyway back to uh back to altrium girls grammar school yes so a listener got in touch with

us to tell us that this story was going around when she was in school and she is a lot younger to me and this rumor's still going around that school someone else actually messaged in saying um that they had it at their school in Essex as well really it wasn't at mine I was making real rumors baby to go around about me I was making the real rumors at my school no I feel like that I've never heard this so someone said that it's like that rumor that you can get pregnant or pre-cum you can you can you don't think you can i don't know really did they not just tell you that school no you can ashley if anyone is listening to this be very careful with pre-cum um but you what about the one we could get pregnant off a toilet seat i remember that one no the whole

media off a toilet seat boys have been using that for years it's always when they get back from muggle up as well isn't it yeah it turns out that you know what no i got it from the toilet seat i'm not even lying from the hot tub steve and xanthi yeah fucking hell that happened to joe down room she got chlamydia fucking toilet seat right for a minute after all these stag do's anyway so somebody got in touch with us and said that this went round when she was at school which was pretty recently um she had a first boyfriend at 14 and then she got a reputation as a slag do you know I used to hate that. Everyone got a reputation for slags.

Wait, so it's this story about her? Yeah. She told us her story. And then, because she had a boyfriend, rumours went around school that she shat on the day, and she didn't. And she was just saying that she's younger than you, and it went around about her.

It's still going. Yeah, that rumour is never going to die. Do you not think? No, and like... I think the fact that they were calling her slags unfair when she was 14, she had her first boyfriend. Someone from Essex said that it went around at their school too.

Yeah, no, my first boyfriend was when I was like 11. What? yeah i can't think when mine was it was like not like yeah yeah yeah but like a boyfriend i think mine yeah probably and then my first actual proper one was 14 15 i think that's about normal yeah i was 14 did your mom used to let him come around to the house um not really no and i still am not allowed a boy in my bedroom what no it's just like a family rule just like a respect yeah like yeah i think that's a bit far you're married so if ed came round could you i think now it'd be okay but before that it's just like your dad feels a bit

weird like i've not got yeah your dad's dead yeah so that's not an issue for me stop playing on this lauren i know i will use that i've listened you've got to take what you can out of situations in life i can use the dad card sure fault dad you're not here to tell me off from going upstairs father's day is cheap so all i can say is you have to look at you know i didn't have a dad there but my mum i did when i first had a boyfriend but he worked away but my mum would never let until i was 16 my boyfriend which was my long term it's chris which we've spoken about before i was with him for like eight years he um he was allowed to come around but not sleep overnight in my bed until i was 16 and i think she still felt weird about it which i get and we always had that one

friend whose mom would let him do anything and you'd be like right vicky's having a fucking door of like then like some weird people turn up someone would be setting fireworks off in the garden someone would have a stomach pump yeah someone always end up in hospital yeah we know yeah like what the fuck yeah because i went to grammar school as well everyone was a bit nerdy so when there was ever a party everyone always went too far and everyone was getting their mums rang and stomachs pumped and everyone was like did you used to lie to your um group of friends like parents when you're about like 13 14 and all say i'm staying at susan's house and then they'd say i'm staying at ashley's house and we literally would walk the streets all night

Yeah, I used to do that. So I used to tell them when I was babysitting, I had a bottle of... And a packet of Marlboro. Yes, yes. Mint menthols. Wait, I've got to sneeze.

Excuse me. Yeah, I had a packet of L&B Frosty Jack cider and we would drink the top of it and then tip it up, top it up with some... Put vodka in. No, vodka.

Yeah. No, blackcurrant. And we would do something called a cannonball, which is where you would have a drag of a cigarette, take it back, and then you would spin

three times whilst downing the Frosty Jacks and then when you stopped you breathed it out again wow we used to be legless honestly the shit

I used to do between the ages we could have died from 14 to 17 the stuff I used to do the kids aren't allowed to do that now no I used to wander

the streets all night and my mum thought I was babysitting I was out all night honestly it was really bad and now

think about it that doesn't happen now they were some of the best days of my life I loved it going around the streets of Bake Up with a cider

I was so happy and I had a chippy at the end of the night I went on my first girls holiday to Ibiza when I was 17 I was 15 I went to Turkey

my mum used to let me do some shit Turkey? why would you go there? Marmaris do you not remember? that was like

one of my friends got fingered on the dance floor we were all between 15 and 17 it was great anyway so the rumour

about Alty girls maybe it's true maybe it's a legend who knows anyway the bitch is over the age of 32 we know that

we know ics i've got a little one um and everyone was laughing at this on my insta the other week my boyfriend has an inhaler that is an ick and you know what it's really funny because it's like why is it an ick and it's not fair it's so unfair it's unfair but it is and the amount of girls when they're poorly when they're poorly such an ick so after we'd had sex like he waited a little bit and then he's like oh shit you must be good if he needs an inhaler i am i am and i could hear his chest rot and i was like do you need your inhaler and he's like oh no and then he had it And I videoed him and so many girls replied like, oh, my God.

One of them said, sometimes when I'm having sex with my boyfriend, I can hear his chest rattling. And she says, I'm like, get off. Go and have your inhaler. It's so unfair. It's so unfair. Do you remember when I was seeing that guy and he was trying to do everything to impress me?

Let me whisper you his name. Oh, yeah. And I went on a date with him. Yes, I remember. And he'd hurt his foot playing football. Yeah, he was fit. And he got his crutches out of the car. And he was like, I'm really sorry, I'm on crutches.

And I didn't speak to him ever again. Just put you right off, didn't it? We've got some more icks here. This one. So I know this girl. I went to school with her. So she sent the video as well. And I don't think we can actually play it.

So she said, my husband. So husband's in on this ick with us, which I love. My husband parts up next to the Dream Boys bus at the services. and then he sent me the ickiest video ever so he filmed him from his car a guy

got his phone out rested it on something and then started filming himself skipping and he kept stopping and watching it back and doing it again

now she went even deeper into this she found the dream boy that it is and it's on his insta and he's skipping outside his bus

now we've got the backstage video of him he's doing it and then checking his phone again and then doing it again I'd love to get one of them on the show dream boys in general

and get like funny a funny story I'm gonna throw it out there they've given me the biggest male strippers no dream boys

give me the biggest ick you could ever imagine rather go and watch crazy horse absolutely I'd rather watch naked women

I think it's disgusting no disgusting disgusting anyway girls I have an ick for you the type of beer a boy drinks

like it cannot beat Foster's or Stella bitch I could not agree more um Peroni or Corona

I'm just having flashbacks of downing some pints the other weekend um no I have no opinion on that I would never notice I don't care

Stella I just wouldn't notice next one oh I agree with this I agree with this biggest ick boys falling over oh it is awful

I was recently on holiday with my boyfriend and he went tumbling down the shed she can't unsee it in the hotel reception seeing him lay on the floor on his back

looking like a dying seal fully gave me the ick he kept then looking at his grazed hand wanting sympathy and he made me search the local shops for antiseptic cream

I agree men even when they just trip up a step you're like oh you're so embarrassing but do you know who's the worst for it me when I'm out

and I've had a few drinks and I decide to wear these fucking shoes girls if any of you have ever seen me out falling up or downstairs it will happen

it's like I'm that small I can only handle a few glasses so my legs just give way it's like Bambi but men can't do that men can't trip

they can't even trip up they can't do you know what always makes me laugh in one of our past episodes and it still gets me now someone sent a nick in of men running up the stairs on all fours oh and it stays it's always stayed with me that because

i get it you know when they run up it's disgusting and it's not fair the sick thing it's not fair but i don't care a man ironing oh no i don't mind that i don't mind that no i'm all right i don't iron at all i don't even have no i've got a steamer yeah a man steaming you got one of them we know what we're getting for christmas no exactly steaming way forward anyway hi girls i love the pod i have two x the thought of both of these almost makes me throw up in my mouth i'm excited to go my brother-in-law wait what's a brother-in-law again here her partner's brother kisses his mum on the lips that's disgusting that's disgusting but also is it not weird that The brother-in-law does it, but not her partner.

So, do you remember ages and ages ago, Sam Fares and Paul, their first ever series? I've actually grown to quite like him, but Paul's mum, Gayna, and everyone online was going mental because he was kissing her on the lips and they were a little bit tactile. They were just like that and everyone was slagging him off online. David Beckham kissed Harper on the lips.

David Beckham, I think that's fine. David Beckham can do whatever he wants. Don't care. Anything. I personally wouldn't kiss my mum on the lips. I would never but I don't mind David Beckham kissing his little girl on the lips

I don't see a problem with that but when it gets to a certain age a grown man kissing the mum on the lips no I'm not down for that at all

no I think it's weird I know a guy that used to sit on his mum's knee in the pub okay it's getting weird now we'd sit on our mum's knees

my mum would push me off yeah my mum would be like get off get off you're hurting me you fat pig you're too drunk get out

my mum would be like you're drunk again leave my mum would probably be sitting on my knee Yeah, your mum is so cute. Right, okay. And the other one.

I stayed at a friend's house after a night out recently. In the morning, we were absolutely hanged. She said, I'll just get my hangover cure. We spoke about this last time. She came back with a glass of milk. No. Right, milk makes your breath stink. Did you know milk...

You like milk? You think milk's a good... Oh, Ed used to drink... It's hot. Yeah, Ed used to drink pints of shitty Tesco. no milk and i was like i've got the it that is disgusting right can i talk to you about milk no because i like it causes really bad mucus on your chest and like in your throat so no just no and also if you're going to drink milk it needs to be no hormones and organic dalesford do a

fantastic one i just listen milk now is full of hormones i only really drink milk when it goes in like a cup of tea and I very rarely I don't drink milk it's not something I drink is it in stuff it's not cool to drink milk anymore

I used to drink a glass of milk with like a donut Lauren that's absolutely vile do you know what else gives me the ick

those graze boards you hate them don't you you absolutely hate a graze board do you know when you see it someone's like

baby shower or do and it's like there's a bit of sushi there there's some candy there there's some Ritz crackers there then there's some meat made into a flower

there i'm sorry and it's got so many e-numbers and salt and shit on it and i just look at it and i'm like i'd rather not eat but my favorite thing is a buffet with loads of party food like as in like some chicken goujons sausage rolls oh i love a sausage roll well shut up then about e-numbers yeah but i mean those boards where it doesn't make any sense i don't like meat I don't want my party ring touching a cocktail sausage yeah you do I don't like that so I'm with you on this one right okay let's move on sorry right dilemma song bitch dilemma of the week dilemma of the week hey gals just wanting to know your opinion on going for the same friend group okay I've had a friend with benefits for about a year now and two of his closest friends

also fancy me good yes bitch one keeps messaging me and the other has picked me up and we slept together

stop so she's already shagging mum no she's shagging the other as well two out of the group and she's messaging the third

what's it called porridge stirring the porridge the stirring the porridge okay okay safe to say the friends with benefits

boy was not happy oh she told him but he still also wants to see me this has become a competition i originally spoke to his friends just to get back at him for being a knob but now i'm starting to think i'm playing him or are they all playing me playing with you nothing is serious with any of them i do like my friends with benefits though so i'm not sure how to handle the situation right okay i think get out i think she's been treated like a um a dog

pass the pass no no no no get out i don't like this no you know she's fucking all the boys around yeah no right okay oh okay so we've got two different angles here over girls so these are the angles me and ash immediately ran to the defense of this girl and we're like we're not keen on this they're all shagging you and i feel a bit weird about it like you're being passed around with no respect i'm not keen on this are they all giving a high five like did she do that on you oh she loved that on me and that i don't like that and they do do that and they do that we all do however um lucas has just told us quite an interesting point and he sees it from a slightly different view which is she's fucking all the men around like she could cause problems in

their friendship as long as she feels safe and she's happy it's fine i think it's going to end in tears i think here what's going on is i'm worried for i don't like it she likes one the most i feel a bit defensive of her so obviously i know it's only friends with benefits but if you never see this going anywhere then absolutely fine but if you do you can't end up with this boy having slept with all his friends it is not going to work and imagine at the wedding i just i'm not sure i'm concerned for her i feel like they're all texting each other like right you try and shagger this week i'll try i'm worried that it's that situation if you've got a hold on it and you're the boss here then fine but my concern is that you are being passed around like

a piece of meat and if you want to be that piece of meat girl then go for it but if you don't i'm wondering whether to step back a little now what do you think ash um i just think as long as she feels fine about it but then it's like she's making a situation out of something that isn't going anywhere so i would just keep you know the one friends with benefits there or whichever is her preferred one yeah and then i would also start looking for some new portfolio because i just think i feel like you've done everything you could have done here and now it's time to move on you fuck shit up let's move on and fuck something else up exactly i feel like you fuck Fuck shit up, leave.

Fuck shit up, move on. Move on, we'll fuck some more shit up. Next one, you're going... Okay. Help! Help! It's in capital letters. Help!

Okay, okay. Okay, okay, okay. What is it? What is it? I'm typing whilst on holiday with my fiancé of five years and our three-year-old. I hate the word fiancé, by the way,

can I just say? Yeah, I just say partner. Yeah. Whatever. It's not normal. That gives me the... I feel like, yeah, it's an unnecessary word.

A few days into our holiday, I think she's telling us though so we know what it's like. a few days into our holiday I had this awful feeling something was wrong you just know you do

so I went on his phone haven't been on it in three years isn't it weird the intuition you get you're like your vagina and then they get lazy with the deleting of things

because they know that you've not been on it and that's the way to always keep it and of course found him talking to another girl on insta

localish to us unfortunately the messages get deleted daily so he knows what he's doing she's aware of me and she has mentioned me who

who is this girl a couple of times how she wishes he was single and what they'll be doing when he comes back. So they're in a sexual relationship. Yeah, he has a close friends list. Why are they not speaking on WhatsApp?

Oh my God, stop, stop, stop, stop. Because it's too shady. He has a close friends list that only she's on. So he's made a close friends list to post things. So he's doing her over a little bit here too.

Where he's blatantly lying about his lifestyle. So obviously he'll pretend he's on his own. He's not with... I once went on holiday with Thea and a partner and he was seeing another girl

and he told the other girl that he was on holiday with his grandma. I found out like later on and everything that he put on, he did the same. He just had her on close friends. So all the pictures of me

and Thea and the family stuff didn't get posted but did put on his other profile. That's fucked. Yeah. Anyway, he has a close friend and I don't even recognise him.

I've taken pictures of everything. Good girl. For the past two days. Ashley! Put it on silent. American Express, who's that? Well,

you. Who on earth Is that? Selfage is American Express. Who could that be? I've taken pictures of everything for the past two days. Good girl, whenever I can, get onto the phone. And I've acted normal. Good girl, as I collect my evidence.

She's learning. I refuse to ruin my child's holiday. And when I get back, I have a promotion course for work where I have to go away for a few days. If I let him know before all this, I'll be terrified to stay away when he's got my daughter. I get it. And I'll be wanting to talk to her.

I get it. And I won't be able to concentrate. I'm absolutely heartbroken. What should you do? Oh, bless her. you have started this off in the correct way girls we always say this don't spunk your load too early yes the best thing to do lauren always spunks her load too early um and i'm no i don't there's been times where i've gathered evidence for like months right but that's the best thing

to do absolutely isn't it so the problem you have here is if you go and i think she knows this if you go straight in there on the hard who the fuck she messages have been deleted you can't confirm it all and i think there's nothing worse in the act yes then when you and especially because you don't want it to be over like you love him and you've got a child together and i think when you go to someone and say this has happened and they give you the excuse you kind of want to listen to the excuse you almost want to believe it so you do so i feel like what she's doing now is right what you're doing now is correct and it's going to be torture for you babe and we're thinking about you think of long term it is worth keep going keep getting the pictures keep getting the evidence

keep an eye on it save it on a file it sounds awful but when you end this which you have to probably when you confront him let's say you need to be able to get everything out there and he can't lie about it whoever this girl is

I'm fuming with her she knows that he's got a girl but does she know it's a dog eat dog world out there babe and does she know that he's got a girlfriend because if he's got her

on a close friend yeah but does she listen you know what it's like he's going we don't sleep together anymore we're just together for the child

we live in the same house if anyone ever tells you that girls run a mile so this happened to me also when I was when i had theater that i was supposedly in separate rooms and and it wasn't true so don't listen to these men that say these things no um so i think keep collecting your evidence i know

you're absolutely devastated but just put your sensible hat on for a minute get all the evidence that you need try and have certain conversations with him so i like what i like to do to trick them so if you know there's a lie make them lie more yeah so i like to watch them squirm this you will enjoy this girl so when you know he's done something a little bit dodgy don't make it obvious but questioning watch him shit his pants when he gives you the answer like oh right

okay and watch him panic because it's quite enjoyable that yeah so do that get all your evidence and then

well you know what to do you're going to have to confront him when you've got enough to be pretty sure you confront him does she message the other girl as well

I think probably at this point not yet not yet but the other girl knows about her and I think if she has an honest

conversation with the other girl I'd honestly wait until they're both together and walk in the house and be like guys sit down I need to talk to you but when are they both

going to be like how's that ever come on yeah get a tracker on his car wow have a chat to him record have a talk to him when you're ready and i would speak to her because you don't know what he's been telling her and i think she will probably she might be in love with him just one person exactly she might be in love with him and thinking that he's about to leave you you don't know what shit she's been fed and she will splurge it she's hurt and angry get her early on do you know who always does that like to a lot of my friends especially is when a guy's got a kid with someone and they go my baby mum's crazy and it's like really was it because she held out on staying with you just for the

child yeah you emotionally abused her and ruined her you're not the dad of the year that you say you are on insta yeah exactly you're not with the kid that much so maybe this woman might not like you a little bit i have learned over the years that when when you think oh she's fucking mental half the time i've ended up being friends yeah and they're not no can i just say i am the most chilled baby mom to walk i think i am i am so chill i have no beef don't care look after my little girl and we're all good but there are some crazy baby yeah but i believe they're crazy because of a reason made that way a lot of the time i mean someone just fucking pricks guys we absolutely loved all of those questions x dilemmas etc more we want more please baby

so remember on nip tuck we want you to get your voices heard you can email us at hello at nip tuck pod.com you can also send your x and your dilemmas via whatsapp that means voice notes too which we can play in future episodes don't worry though if you prefer to remain anonymous we will never reveal who you are we will take your shit to the grave ones so yeah go over to this episode's description you can get information how to contact us and then we're going to

be back next week babies have a nice weekend and my heart is going out to that girl because that is shit mate and well done for trying to make things happen you're going to be fine there'll be another trust me trust me honey I've been there there'll be many more .