Nip Tuck - Bonus Babes: Biggest D*** In The UK!

Episode Date: June 23, 2023

Ashley and Lauren have been howling in the studio at your incredible stories, so keep them coming! The girls share their dupes of the week, advice for a husband who's wondering how to deal with the lack of intimacy after pregnancy and what do you do if you're dating a guy with the biggest medically verified penis in the UK...To sign up for Patreon for more exclusive content and full video episodes, click this link: https://patreon.com/niptuckpodTo get involved with the show, you can send us a DM on Instagram and TikTok, find us @niptuckpod.Or you can email [e-mail] can also send us your beauty questions, icks & dilemma's via WhatsApp! You can text or voice note the girls on [phone] Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hi guys and welcome back to Nip Tuck not giving a fuck bonus is the bonus bebe this is the podcast where we celebrate being positive aspirational women and it's all about being unapologetically yourself that is Lauren that it is now that it is honey guys so on Nip took basically we want you to get sending all your bits and bobbins in we want you to get your voices heard because without you we are nothing we need your hacks we need your dilemmas your beauty tips your restaurant recommendations yeah your holiday recommendations yeah your bargains your bargain basements we just want to know bits that you think do you know what you guys yeah you guys will benefit from this we absolutely love it if you head over to the episode's

description and tap that you can find out absolutely everything in there so you can find out how to get in touch you can watch us on our socials do a little share you can join our patreon which is our membership only area it's amazing you can actually watch the full videos then you don't have to listen to us you can watch twice a week twice a week and any other extras and we have competitions all the time in there as well so yeah just get in touch send us what's been getting on your tits what's giving you the ick questions sex stories slutty susans basically we don't give a fuck yes exactly that quick question which we've not mentioned you've had longer hair extensions i've had long hair do you like it i really like it yeah um it's spectrum isn't it

the best hair is the best i told you it was it's much better um yeah it's much better than the one that goes that everyone goes to it's much better it's so much better the blondes are stunning as well they have a lot it's really nice ash yeah what have you got um bonds or bondies yeah still just bondies bonds yeah you've got enough hair to do that i feel like i cheese the bonds uh move really well oh my god yeah and you can put them up and stuff i have a weave so i i can't put the hair up properly and things but i i need that for the thickness like i just don't have much hair my baby little baby yeah so yeah your hair looks really nice we've got a code is it nip tuck i I think we've got a Nip Tuck one.

Nip Tuck 10. Have a look. I don't know what it is. Maybe message them and say, you heard, you heard. But it is amazing hair and you can actually buy the hair and get your hairdresser.

I've got a hair hack coming up. I've got a hair hack coming up and this hair hack is going to go viral. Hey, have you seen the TikTok oil that everyone's literally bumming? The rosemary oil? Yeah, is that a lie? It's so behind.

No, it actually does work. Okay. Yeah. Okay, anyway. Anyway. So a listener has sent in a nick, but before we read it, because I'm going to forget

I've got a nick that my friend told me on the phone this morning you wanna know it so she was in the garden with her partner and the kids and stuff

and they were playing and he fell over and hurt his knee oh like a scrape no like a twist and he went

like it hurt him that much he's like it's gone again my knee's gone and she said that she had to he had to put his arm

around her shoulder oh no and she had to hop him to the back door do you know what I mean with his arm leaning on her and she said

as she was doing it she was like like it was giving her the ick that bad like she had to be the man I'd got sunburned at golf the other day and I couldn't

couldn't look at him disgusting but yeah so he was limping and he was in pain and she said she was looking at him like eww

I get that though I get it I get that girl I get it anyway listen to the message Ash go on okay we've got an

icky wicky dude on hey whoop hi girls and lucas loving the pod as always good it's someone not slagging us off i've just unlocked a new ick and immediately i knew i had to tell the girls about it yeah i've just been on holiday with my boyfriend now he's my fiance actually as he proposed whilst we were away we had the best times the vibes were immaculate lots of sun and sex and sea sun sea and sex it was almost perfect

however one night we were in the bar celebrating and we had a lovely waiter who was really attentive and friendly he kept coming over to serve us and as soon as our glasses were empty he would recommend off the drinks menu he was generally just being an absolute lovely makes a big difference at the end of the night when we went to leave my fiance went to tip the waiter he tried to do that thing already making me laugh where you hold the money in your palm and shake the other person's hand to seamlessly transfer the time already this i have never witnessed anything so uncool as when my fiance held his arm and the waiter thought he wanted a he then pulled away and tried to motion to shake hands meaning the money slipped out of his sweaty

palm he then had to bend down in front of everyone to pick it up off the sticky floor and then awkwardly handed it to the barman who just looked oh no why he couldn't just say thanks mate and hand him the money directly or motion that he'd left it on the bar i do not know honestly i looked at my ring and i questioned whether to hand it back to him for a split second but suffice to say i will now be pushing it to the back of my mind and cracking on with the wedding planning at least he's generous i guess it's really funny love you keep me anonymous please right that's really that's really funny that's really made me laugh actually i've got an ick for girls and guys here and like a you know when you're first dating someone you don't know this because you don't

go on dates no um as in she never has and she never will she just don't need to do that i don't need to but basically if you're going on like i would say your first 10 dates neither one of you is allowed to complain about the food or service i wouldn't i don't know what you mean i don't like even if the food is uncooked and cold you can't say anything why why because then you look like a moany bitch you can't say anything to the to the waiter or to the friend like to the part to the drake he says oh not great that on no so you just eat your raw chicken yeah and you go home and shit yourself yeah with salmonella yeah or whatever it is i'm trying to think would i ever say i probably wouldn't yeah do you know what i

mean it looks like you're like a bit like and you are obviously high maintenance but yeah it's like Also, do you know what I really don't like When people say fiancé I knew you were going to say that When you read it I could feel your voice going I would never I say my partner Well you say husband because you've got one

I did say husband when I had one I think husband's the least cringe You're going to have to start saying husband mate You can't be saying partner Lucas, you're gay, you would say partner He gets so bullied I know I can't say boyfriend

because that just sounds really silly at my age fiancé I would never say fiancé fiancé fiancé

fiancé this is my husband you're going to have to start referring to him as your husband you can't say partner okay why not partner

if anyone's got a good tip yeah anyone's got a good way do you know what the best thing is if I just go this is James yeah and just not say it could be my brother

in fact it's that embarrassing I'm going to start saying this is my brother, James. Yeah, there you go. I think everyone's his partner. I say partner. I think that's fine. She's just been, because she's married. Okay.

When am I going to get married? You don't, please stop rushing into these things, please. I would recommend it before you have a child. Yeah, but I haven't got time for all this. I'm 33. Do you know what I mean? Everything's getting really... This is what happens when you rush into things.

I've done that before. So have I. It doesn't work out well. So have I. I ended up with a divorce and a baby. Let's slow down. I can't, no, I'm 33. Metal detector on the motorway.

And I'm metal, yeah, I'm 33, I can't. But next time you'll be going, I'm 41, I can't be doing this, I'm boring a fuck to an hour, fucking hour, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. No, anyway. Which comes first, the baby or the wedding? You have to get married first.

No, I think that's old-fashioned. Sweetheart. No, it doesn't matter now. I've been left in the ditch. Yeah, but it doesn't matter. With a kid. Yeah, but it's only if you're marrying a fucking millionaire. It doesn't matter otherwise, does it?

You've got no security. Really? You've got a bit more. I was married the first time. And when I said, when I said, you can't do this, we're married,

he went, it's on a bit of paper. He said that? That's what he said. Being married made no difference to me last time. I still got left for Tina up the road. She's actually not called Tina. She was,

anyway. Spent a lot. Yeah, it was more that. It was more that. It was more, it was more, what's... Spat Lana in the casino. What did we used to call you?

Tatiana. Bust down, Tatiana. Oh, it was more that. But anyhow... Anyway, you do you. You do you. I'm just interested, do you do the wedding or the baby first? The baby, you think, will do that first because you get it out the way?

Because I'm 33, but then you think, do we do the... I mean, neither, I'm not even engaged. Stop fantasising, Lauren, and get back to the podcast. Right, anyway, where were we? I need to wipe my nose. Right. I'm sorry if it's really cold. This is a good one.

hi girls absolutely love the podcast you give me life i thought i'd share a tip with you and everyone else as it helped me so much with my periods oh my god give us the period tips girl i suffered so bad with my periods from the age of 12 i used to be bed bound a lot and on so many painkillers hot water bottles a lot so after a lot and i mean a lot of doctor's appointments and an operation later i got diagnosed with endo so that's endometriosis which is scar tissue isn't horrendous horrendous thing the first thing that the doctor suggested was to go on the pill however i hate it and i've literally not been on it since i was young for all the reasons that we all know anyway i did my own research and i found a vitamin root called maca root okay i started

taking it and saw results within the first two months i just popped one magic pill every day and my periods went from 10 days of heavy bleeding to seven normal days i've taken this supplement i'll tell you in a second it makes you really horny i'm sure it's the one that no pain not as cranky all around amazing increases your sex drive i told you the best thing i've ever bought and i swear by them you can literally get them off amazon i hope this helps anyone thank you love em right thank you em i can't give me the maca no listen it's called maca root tablets and they're for men and women and they're like herbal viagra we're going to make they make you get a really hard dick and they make you really can't wait for my dick to be

hard i think we're gonna try and make an amazon page for the pod aren't we yeah well we put all these bits on yeah yeah i will do it i just don't know how i started doing it and i got a bit confused i thought you need to do yeah because then we can have all of our bits on that right okay you read the next one lauren hi ashley lauren and lucas love you guys i just wondered if you could help me i luckily managed to get pregnant with my first baby very quickly but since this i've been struggling to get pregnant naively assuming this would also be quick yeah i kind of thought that i am now six months into trying to conceive again using all the z2s supplements and tracking my ovulation monthly with natural cycles

and B-clear ovulation tests. She's doing what we said. I'm turning 35 this year and was hoping to be pregnant before the midwives labelled me geriatric. God, she's me. I would love another baby soon. I just wondered if you've got any advice, please. Okay, I have got some advice.

Because do you know what? I kind of understand where she's coming from here. I'm 33 now and although I'm not actively right, I want a baby now, it does start making you think like, fuck. Your fertility... It dropped. I got pregnant with Thea, literally.

I said, right, I'm not going to try... And that was it. I was pregnant. And you kind of think that's going to happen the second time, but I don't think it always does. So I understand this. You're doing all the right things. Now, I was talking to my friend.

I think I'd been trying for a few months, but I, with the others, was like, and I was like, every time I wasn't pregnant, I was like, there's something wrong with me. And I'd been told loads of bad things. I use this thing. Yeah. When I decide to fully try, I'm going to.

Okay. And the month I use this thing, I am now pregnant. it's called a fertile a fertile lily cup and you can buy it in boots it's in the condom section i think it was in interesting um i went with my friend to go and get it and we were like oh my god it must be good if they sell it in boots yeah because i'd seen all these tiktoks about it um and basically what it is if you've had a menstrual cup before what you know few periods so you have sex they do the sperm in you bit yeah yeah orgasm it's orgasm and then um you get this cup you stay really still you get the cup you put it in your vagina and i'm looking at lucas in the

eyes lucas would you like one in your vagina you put it in and it keeps all the sperm and makes sense and directs the sperm so you put the cup up to your cervix so you get all the sperm in the cup and put it right up to your cervix so that it all goes in. And that month I got pregnant. So to me, this absolutely makes sense. Right, just think about it. When you normally have sex, a lot of it immediately blobs straight out.

Like a huge amount of it. I would say most of it blobs out. You stand up. That's why they say you have to lie down. Yeah, even before, even when you're lying down and when he pulls it out, loads of it blobs everywhere. Like it doesn't always... Stop saying blobs.

Blob, blob, blob, blob, blob, blob, blob. It doesn't always stay there. And when you stand up straight out and when you go to the toilet and you hear that splash, that's how much comes out. Yeah. You need that shit in there.

Yeah. Okay, then get a cup. Or you could do a DIY one. No, and then there's another one. I think it was called We Are Something. We Are Pregnant? We Are Sperm Collectors? We Too, I think it's called.

We Are Putting Plastic Things Up Us? And I bought them and it's called Insemination or something. Fucking hell, mate. That's a film, isn't it? This is the shit that I did to get pregnant, honestly. And it's a, what do you call it? A syringe, but it's got the, Lauren, we're being serious now. Lucas wasn't when he just said that's a film.

That's really fucking funny. So it's a syringe. Anyway, no one cares about my tits. We do, we do. What do you do with the syringe? We've stopped now. So it's a syringe and it's got the cup attached to the syringe. So then you syringe the cum right into the top of your cervix

and then once it's released, the cup goes in. It's really clever. That's the dream that I had. That you did to me and James. That I did to you and James. Yeah, it's a turkey-based vibe, but it's got the cup on it so it holds the sperm. It also holds the...

But these new cup things are the way that a lot of people are getting pregnant. Absolutely, to me that really does make sense. Did you stay lying down after you put the cup in or can you just get a bath? You can do whatever you want and then you pull it out like a tampon. The cup.

How long after? I think six hours maximum you can leave it and don't quote me but I went on the cup website and it said that it can improve your level of getting pregnant by 50% in one go. I'm not surprised, I'm not surprised. Can I ask a question?

Yeah. When having sex, when trying for baby, does it matter if you do it in the morning or night or whenever or just when you're ovulating? It doesn't matter. And is it true that they say don't do it, you don't want to lose the quality if you do it like a million times a day

or does it not matter? I mean, I'd save it to like once a day. Is that it? Because sometimes I can go. I mean, if you can go, go. I'm not even taking the piss, but if gravity helps, can you just do the headstand way?

Yeah, but then how long do you want to be headstanding for? We're busy women. We're busy women. We can't stand our heads for six hours. And also you need to have a wee after you've had sex, Lucas, otherwise you get a bladder infection. No, you're right. and you can put your legs in the air but like how long have we got like we're busy yeah i'd

recommend doing all things above legs in air cup in tablets my idea is this if you begin classes and strengthen your arms you can then walk on your hands and then after sex you can spend the rest of the day walking on hands and in the crab there's also this other tablet that again i'm not a doctor sorry um loads of people have been taking on tiktoks when i was watching the tiktoks of how to get pregnant by the way tiktok is full of good tips and basically i think the tablets are like pseudo-fed tablets that like stop levels of mucus so you know when you go on certain contraception it increases your cervical mucus so that sperm can't stick to the wall so it says just before you have sex you take one of these tablets and it unsticks you so the sperm can stick yeah there's

So many ways, guys. And do you know what's really scary? You spend your whole life thinking that all, if you have sex with one man without protection, you will get pregnant. One one-night stand, you will get pregnant. And now look at us. We're using all kinds of ding-dong devices.

Anyway, hope that helps, darling, and hope you get pregnant. We have got one of our favourite segments of the show. Hacks, dupes, bargains, make-up. But I think we should call this the bargain bucket. What about... I've been called that before. Products.

Dupes. Products, dupes. And whoops. Dupesy whoopsy. Recommendations. PDR. If anyone's got any ideas for this new section that we've made. Hacks, dupes, products.

Bargain bucket, I think is pretty good. Right, okay. First one. We're going to do hacks. Hacky wackies. Hacky wackies. We all saw Olivia Atwood. The de-urgent hacky wacky.

so i messaged her after the um the deodorant hacky wacky and i said you need to bring out a face deodorant a face deodorant with nice packaging and she was like that's so weird that you've just said this she said because i've literally thought of that and i was like i'm telling you now that's what we tried it yeah i've not tried it no i woke up in the night thinking olivia needs to bring out a deodorant for the face and i messaged her and she was like yeah i've been thinking our friend olivia yeah i made some message and she obviously messaged me back because we're friends and stuff she's sick she's a fucking top girl so i'm gonna try that so what she says go over to her page you'll see the video she says that you put deodorant on before your makeup areas that

like your tash your tash and your head a little bit that are gonna sweat off next one next t-shirt white t-shirt cream t-shirt anything light colored and you're on holiday you've got loads of makeup on spray do you uh hairspray around the neck of the t-shirt before you put it on and it won't transfer so do you know what bothers me about this and this is one of the reasons i hate wearing makeup it's not my clothes it's james's so you know when they put their arm around you everyone knows that when you go like this yeah and they go come here darling put their arm around you and you go even if they're wearing black yeah because you don't want to transfer on them and when you hug them or they like put their arm around you don't they and you literally go

like this so if you're trying to stay away so maybe we spray the boys as well if you spray hairspray around the neck of your t-shirt it supposedly didn't you say that you spray your face with hairspray to set it oh when i was younger and i had no money but i loved going out i used to use air freshener as perfume and i used to use hairspray on my face as setting spray because i'd be out for three days you are real rags to riches tale here actually snowboard aren't you this is like poor family rich family isn't it but i had the best time in my life um right next hack this is one that i personally use right we all know when we've got where are you going with this we all know when we've got a mascara that's coming to the end or it's started

getting a bit clumpy because you might not put the lid on it put three eye drops in it where'd you learn this shit i just taught myself it and it works and it brings your mascara back to life why would you think i know what this mascara because my mascara was really dry and then my eyes and you looked i know and then you thought oh my eyes dry as well yeah and it was a moment so put some eye drops in your mascara when it's at the end or buying your mascara about seven quid yeah but you can get a little bit more out of it okay malibu c i was going to discuss this for the for the hair yeah yeah so um if everyone's going crazy for this i've never even heard of it spectrum used to use it on my hair like two years ago and i used i've got i'm looking for it

now he gave me a little bottle of it and i take it on holiday with me so basically it gets rid of if you go on holiday the chlorine hard water sun cream that kind of thing the sun cream made my mum's extensions got orange made mine so that kind of thing it takes it out the malibu sun is a shampoo that takes it all out it's fucking brilliant so these are supposedly the ones the sachets oh i don't know i've never used those katie gave me squirted it in a bottle for me so this stuff is called malibu c and it eliminates brassiness out of your hair yeah so girls if you've got a holiday coming up take some of these with you so anyway malibu c everyone's raving about this malibu c especially if you've got hair extensions blonde hair etc but this one

looks to be the one that everyone is buying off amazon i'm just looking at it now and it's called mini malibu rehab and it's nine pounds and you can take it on holiday it's got your shampoo conditioner and rehab it's really good i've used it myself whenever i get back off holiday they always because i've literally thrown extensions in the bin before it's such good stuff i always use it i take it when i go away i knew that already i just forget i actually have loads of hacks that i just forget that i do okay we're gonna do an amazon and put it on there last one last one the aldi whispering angel rose of summer has been announced yeah it is called it's in obviously it's a pale rose and it's in a bottle which how would you describe that like oh i would

give that um i give mykonos mykonos vibes greek vibes i love that so it's in like i got like a bluey color to the middle and the the shaft is white so you and lucas need to both go and get a bottle of that and tell me what it's like shaft is um it's called atlantique me and lucas have been really silly today it's six pounds 49 six pounds 49 and basically it is meant to be looks nice i like it's aesthetically pleasing people have actually said nicer than whispering angel So there's your Aldi Rose. OK, let's go for a break and then we'll be back with your dilemmas. And Lauren, a new man of the week, man of the week, man of the week.

Here he is. We've got a man of the week. He has to be over six foot tall. That's not fair. I have an announcement to make. Are you, my friend, a loyal listener of Nip Tuck? My friend. My friend. Do you wake up and run out of bed on a Wednesday and a Friday?

Run out the door. Don't turn around now. Where are you going with this? Put Nip Tuck pod on on you whore. Where are you fucking going with this? Anyway, do you listen on Wednesdays and Fridays? Yes, do you or not? why not tell your nearest and dearest spread the love spread your legs slow susan oh you've lost

it right shush i'm looking for the man of the week share the episode on whatsapp we'll give you a minute go do it lauren i've got something new for you here what have you got what have we got well you've been using it all weekend haven't you so i'm gonna share my experience girls boys 10 out of 10 look what i've got so as you know we absolutely love love honey it's got everything you could possibly want on there we use it for our underwear our sex toys and treat everything's on there we've spoken about it before yeah but the other good thing about them is sex toys can get boring if you don't keep switching it up yeah and they always come through with the most innovative

things so this is a world's a world's first what is it this is the womanizer wave lauren okay and it literally clips onto your shower head at home really really easy you can use it as a shower can't you yeah it works on your head as well to give yourself head and on your head it's amazing it's got three different settings not only that it's environmentally friendly as well so it uses 60% less water so you're saving money while you're having a wank honestly was everyone's first experience not in the shower absolutely either in the shower or at the swimming baths next to the jet for longer than you needed to be i feel like it's such a nice sensation though and i think it's nice to do it in the shower i feel like it's kind of more you time you time but you can do it

with your partner as well yeah so maybe that's what i got up to at the weekend so it's a clitoral simulator it works with air and water jet that's the newest thing isn't it with clitoral stimulators and the thing that they found the most popular is air jets which is what this is yeah honestly it's like an experience you've never felt before i can't explain it's amazing we want to know all about it though so once you've bought it you need to be telling us did you like it what did you do with it we want your slutty susan stories involving this because i can't even imagine the shit you can get done with this i mean it's absolutely amazing i love it so we've got a code for you guys always got a code for you haven't we like we said love honey is the one-stop shop

for everything absolutely lingerie sex toys it's got everything you need on there very good lube very good lube okay and what's the code lauren tuck 20 is the code so that's gonna get you 20 off site wide as well isn't it yeah so you can use it on your womanizer wave but you can also add extra bits into your basket should you want to amazing we have got a dilemma hello girls and lucas i've been a listener for a good while now and for a male listener go on i actually enjoy listening to you guys but i've recently become a dad congrats and ever since my sex life with my girlfriend has really gone downhill i can't tell if she even wants to anymore if she genuinely is just exhausted from being the best mum she can be to our little boy is there anything i can do to

get the old sex life back which was really good or is it gonna be like this forever please keep me in on as i'm a scouser and i know you have a lot of scouse fans right you've not told us how old the baby is yeah that's so that's a huge thing i think he's one week old recently so i'm gonna say six months yeah this is so normal absolutely so normal as a woman when you are exhausted the last thing you want to do is lie back and think of england it is the worst thing as women we shouldn't have to do that anyway it's the worst thing ever you've just given birth she i don't know where she gave birth from but either way it can be painful afterwards you know what i meant um her body will be affected massively loads of things come into play here and what i'll say from

my experience deprivation my experience of becoming a mom is that for the first i'm not saying this isn't you're not going to get a shark for this long but i would say for the first nine months i didn't even know who i was anymore i'd had nine months of being pregnant and then i'd had this baby and the whole world you're worrying about the baby and the baby monitors in the room which is weird around you keeping this little thing alive and you forget and they have to sleep in your bedroom yeah you forget who you are and i remember thinking i don't know what's fashionable even anymore i don't know who i am like i've just got this baby and i don't know who i am and it does come back let her get a hold of being a mom first like don't be pestering her for sex

don't pester it let her get back into the routine of of being a mom because eventually it kind of starts clicking and you think yeah i've got this okay yeah and you get a routine you think right and that's when you have a little bit of time to think oh god i think i'll look on zara today and see what's in stock like you don't even do any of that because you're just there with this baby and you start to become yourself again so let her just see her through this part now however keep telling her how fit she is keep telling her that she's sexy go on a date night if she is take her out where you can but don't pester for sex because i'll tell you one thing as a woman and probably as a man as well the more you get pestered for it the less you want it in fact you really don't want

it then because then you think fuck off and you then get the ick respect my boundaries yeah you get the ick and you think i don't want to have sex but you still do like you get the ick so keep probably got a long list of like laundry and shit yeah and you annoying her is yeah and she won't feel good about her body potentially as well which isn't very nice it might take her a while yeah and you're like does it still feel the same down yeah she'll be worried by the way it will she might have put a bit wondering by the way he's probably not asked at this point it'll put anything he'll probably put in his penis into a slush puppy would probably do right now um but you know that kind of thing like she's not going to be with it just now i think it's really normal

leave her to it but tell her she's fit take her out don't make a fuss of the sex or she will go wonder over it it's gonna come back let her get this mum thing underway first and then she'll be back so guys basically i just i just literally i wasn't reading it because you're gonna read it but i just saw a bit of the second paragraph and whoa okay this is another this is another it's another dilemma go ash read this one fuck off mate go on right right so hi guys i love the show i have an embarrassing dilemma about a boy that i've started seeing and i would love an old unfold but hi guys unsolicited opinion lauren sorry just let me read it out and i've got nothing today i'm excited today i don't want to talk

i'm just overexcited go hi girls i love the show and i have an embarrassing shmash member on a week about a boy that i've started seeing and i would love an unfiltered opinion well you are in the right place my love he's sweet funny smart and kind but i found out that he took part in a documentary on channel four called my massive cock i've been waiting and he has the biggest medically verified penis in the uk not ecuador i am used to guys exaggerating about what they've got down there aren't we all so running into one that did the opposite absolutely blew my mind now there's two issues that i'm having one how do i get over so many people knowing about my man's dick i like to think i'm classy and he is usually very modest so it's just really weird to

me that he went on the show how can i introduce him to my friends in case they recognize no one's watched it mate i would watch that if it was on you know you would you know you would i'm gonna watch it in his instagram bio i am gonna watch it now but i don't think that's a big feature on massive cock anyway number two it just doesn't fit he's tried so many positions and a shit ton of lube but the fact is he is longer than a ruler and thicker than my arm and it makes me think there's nothing we can do is this a shallow reason not to want to pursue a relationship he saw a doctor about getting a penis reduction on tv and he's been saving up for one it's wrong for me to want him to go is it wrong for me to want him to go through with it i feel guilty

encouraging him to have the surgery as i know i would feel shit if he asked me to alter my body for him oh my god it's fucking huge oh we've got a picture of it oh my god let me see lucas has googled it he doesn't look like it's massive by the way we're only looking at it through grey trackie wow and he's not a big guy either i wonder if he got paid to go on that program oh they were going to pay towards his surgery maybe i hope so what do you have to say um right okay so there's two issues one he did go on a program which personally i think yeah that's a bit it's a lot i don't think it matters that he went on a tv show with a penis like that everyone's gonna notice it anyway like she's saying she's worried about everyone knowing

how big his man's dick is it's he's swinging in his trousers the tv show doesn't matter so he's got the biggest cock in the uk in the uk okay um and it doesn't fit in a um i don't know i feel like i've spoken a lot you speak uh but do you love him though is you know do you love him and do you vibe it sounds like you do really like him because you actually i can hear like how upset you are in this message so honestly like i would maybe just sit down with him and be like right can we do this penis reduction or what like can i chop off your penis without sex then it's not gonna be much fun i think you're right ash in the sense that all this comes down to doesn't matter that it's about his penis it could be about his fucking

third arm or his one leg it doesn't really matter what it matters is if you love him and you can see yourself being with him then nothing else really matters and you will find a way around it if you're with him and you think he's all right then no don't bother leave him to fight to be in love with someone because you're gonna have to overcome a lot of shit in this and i don't think it matters what the problem is i think the whole point of it is is it worth it i wonder what job he does because what at what like you can't really be doing a corporate job with that massive dick no as in if you're gonna go on that program you just meant with a massive you know what i always think as well with stuff like this how like at what point you go fuck it i'm going on naked attraction

do you know what i mean at what point do you get to in life where you think fuck this i'm going on naked attraction yeah and like can anyone answer this question do they get paid to go on naked attraction me and james sometimes that's a life over i've got a really really fun game for you at home so what me and james do with a towel and we stand there and we start and he sits on the bed and he goes right go and i hold it at the bottom at the top which is at the bottom and then i go legs and then he goes yeah nice size good then i lift up he goes yeah lovely i like the pubic hair in the middle and then and then i lift it and we do it together and it's really fun so he mustn't have like a corporate job or anything um maybe he's a porn star yeah i think

our answer here is if he means a lot to you then all the above in this letter doesn't really matter because if you love him you love him and you'll find a way

yeah we if you're not that bothered about him then let him find someone with a bigger fanny well yeah there might be women

out there who can take it and if you're not that in love with him then let him find those girls you're telling me about remember the porn yeah someone can take it

if you don't feel like he's the one that's the most he's either one that's the most important thing yeah and if he is then you crack on and you support him and hopefully he'll chop half his dick off if he isn't the one let some other girl swizzle on his blackpool tower okay right dating this is the nip tuck dating show welcome i'm ashley and this is lauren and we actually he's a hoe we got loads of men for you to sample from today so let's start with update on the gossip from the previous so dale i can tell you he got

loads of people adding him i think he's messaged a few of them but there was someone else on the scene a little bit so he's kind of he's kind of here there and everywhere we're not getting another one he's not giving me a no he's amazing he's just not giving me they've not no one's ran away in the sunset with him well i have an update on matt a few people have added matt obviously some of them live a little bit far away but matt is chatting to someone from manchester oh matt and it sounds like it's off to a really good start fantastic he's very private but he said that hopefully they are meeting up so man a few words let us know guys thanks matt we need to like almost like set up

a date for them or something oh my god yeah we'll pay we need to fucking know what's going on yeah we need to know more let's push on this

yeah okay next one so who's our man of the week baby okay you ready oh he lives near me he lives in Bakeup he lives where my mum's from

I've just picked up is that me and Rochdale yeah this is so funny so we've got a guy from Rochdale okay let me see if I know him

before wait let me just check if I know him how is he from Bakeup I've got no mutual friends. Anyway, okay, so she's sent it him. Good, good. He's not in any way related to Lauren.

No way, shape or form. Okay, I don't know how to pronounce his surname. Let me read it. W-A-U-G-H. Vor. W-A-U-G-H. Vor. Vor.

It sounds German. Wag. Vor. Anyway, just spell it out. So his Instagram name is... Potato, potato. At Lee, L-double-E, underscore... Underscore W-A-U-G-H.

Okay, I'm going to show you him. He's cute. He's cute. Tall. Very tall. Oh, tall. Oh, hi, Lee War. War.

So Instagram, again, is Lee, L-E-W-E, underscore W-A-U-G-H. Do you want to tell us a bit about him? She's told us. Okay, tell us about Lee. Okay, so I said I wanted to know a little bit more about him. He's 24. he's training to be an accountant he works in manchester a fitness company he's funny he's nice he's never had a proper girlfriend that's a worry a little bit but he's definitely ready for one

um he's and i said has he given permission he said yeah he has and i said can you vouch that he would be a good boyfriend because that's what we want yeah she's yes 100 he's such a gentle soul he's not a player at all in fact he's probably quite the opposite he's been working loads because he's done all his accounting exams so he's a hard grafter and he's not been out a lot recently I told him last night and he said oh for fuck's sake okay

that's what you want like he's not overking he lives in Bake Up which is between Rochdale and Rotten Stall so yeah he lives he lives

he lives where he lives where my mum's from and where I'm actually originally from so okay there we go Lee is our man of the week let us know

how you get on with him girls 24 training to be an accountant good boyfriend if you get any other men so this is for our younger section

of women yeah we'll give you a full Y wage We'll give you our full white wage. Can we get an older man this week, maybe? Next week? Yeah, I've got loads. I've got loads of men up my sleeve.

Should we say, like, if you're one of those girls that has been successful... Yeah, yeah. If you've messaged Dale or Matt, tell us how it went. Is there anything, like, coming up? Are you one of the girls that's been successful? Let us know. And can you put in the subject, like,

so that we know to read it? Date update. Date update or something like man of the week update. Something so that Lucas knows to read it because we get so many. um in the actually in general if you can if it's anything like that's important that's like urgent that we read can you put that in the subject so that we know okay or email or email yeah yeah on the subject of email that's what i meant okay so that brings us to an end unfortunately

it's a close today but you are one day closer to the weekend guys and yeah hopefully it's another the nice hot sunny i did something really embarrassing what so i've just remembered so i was coming out of aldi the other day and as i was coming out the aldi near me there is a we by any car um yeah like and then and i walked out of it with it was just after recording and i'm walking out and one of my ex-boyfriends was there from many years ago and instead of walking past and pretending I didn't see him instead of just getting on with my day or instead of just going hi and carrying on I walked past him and I went he was with the weekend buying a car selling your car and he just went yeah yeah and I went you're getting another and he went yeah yeah yeah will

be yeah and I went ah and then he went you all right how are you no good well you you went good and I went make sure they give you give him a good I'm so embarrassed I went I went like this I went to the guy

make sure you give him a good deal oh you're so embarrassing you're so embarrassing and his wife was with him and we just went bye then and the whole time

all I could think stop there bye bye right okay so get in touch on Nip Talk we want you to get your voices heard

send in all your stuff your guys your dilemmas your icks your hacks your bargains tips tricks

Your funny and slutty, slutty... Sex tips. Yeah, sex tips. Thank you. I saw a thing that someone sent us where in a way of doing a girl being on top that doesn't hurt women as much, and I've forgotten it now,

but yeah, that kind of thing. Anyway, get in touch with us. Hello at nippeduppod.com. If you give the link in our Instagram bio a little tap, all the shite is on there. Bye. Love you. Have a lovely weekend.

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