Nip Tuck - Bonus Babes: Boyfriend Baby Limbo

Episode Date: December 15, 2023

With Christmas looming and Ashley's story of how her daughter got the role of Servant 2 at her school Nativity making quite an impact, we've get even more bizarre stories of how creative schools have got. The girls also share their wisdom for one listener who's fella seems to be doing anything to dodge pregnancy.To sign up for Patreon for full video episodes every week and more exclusive content, click this link: https://patreon.com/niptuckpodTo get involved with the show, you can send us a DM on Instagram and TikTok, find us @niptuckpod.Or you can email [e-mail] can also send us your beauty questions, dilemma's and Slutty Susan confessionals via WhatsApp! You can text or voice note the girls on [phone] Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

guys hi welcome back to nip tuck not giving a fuck the bonus the boner this is the podcast where we celebrate being positive aspirational men and women it's about being unapologetically yourself so if you're new here that's what that is this is what it is speaking of bonus have you ever been in boots when the person in front of you's been ordering viagra what no never yeah because they sell viagra now over the counter in boots i'd get it online i'd be too embarrassed i don't get it so you like hi please can i have some yeah how you know it's like when you go for the morning after hi can i have some caniston yeah hello can i have some anusol yeah what's the most embarrassing thing you think you'd have to ask for at the pharmacy anusol is pretty

embarrassing isn't it yeah but fucking 70 percent of over i think it's like over 40s suffer with hemorrhoids i was just thinking of bum sex more than anything like i was thinking of that well does bumming give you hemorrhoids yes it gives you a fissure does it yeah gives you a fissure have you got hemorrhoids no no i don't he's inflicted funny enough me and laura having a chat how uh he gave someone a receiving end an anal fissure is basically a tiny tear in your arsehole and it's very very common and it reopens well it's a wet area it's not dry it doesn't ever heel and then you keep opening it up um is there anything else embarrassing um oh my god yeah um worms when you have to go to boots and ask for worm tablets i would say worms is the most

embarrassing nits nits is nits nits thrush i am not one bit asked about and how sad that i used to be asked about stuff like that i'm not one bit asked thrush like um yeah hemorrhoids is so common and yeah mine are not a vibe at the minute i've still never had them babe third pregnancy yeah oh my god you must have a bunch of defo have an operation on my hemorrhoids i've got a question so when you have a hemorrhoid operation obviously you're lying on your front and you're asleep yeah do they bend you so you're on all fours or do they open your cheeks and how do they keep your cheeks open when they're operating i think you lie on your back and then they just put you in stirrups oh my god i was thinking i thought you'd be like doggy style yeah and i thought

they'd be trying to hold your cheeks open i thought there'd be one theater staff holding one cheek one holding the other right of course you'd have your legs in the air yeah that's so funny anyone's had any hemorrhoid operations can they get in touch yeah give us the review one of my friends recently had um the banding and it didn't work she's got to go back in again but she did say they gave her gas and air so that was fun it was worth the trip just for that yeah exactly but yeah let us know let us know um on nip tuck we want you to get your voice heard about all sorts hemorrhoids anything really you can email us at hello at nip tuck pod.com you can send your ics your dilemmas your voice notes your questions your stories about hemorrhoids

anything you want to tell us any questions embarrassing herpes anything embarrassing anything we don't give a fuck really do we so we're quite happy to discuss anything that you're too scared to discuss we will do that for you what's the weirdest shit you found in someone's bathroom cabinet do you google people's medications yes absolutely yeah same that's terrible do you remember you asked once what's the weirdest thing you found in a man's bedside drawer yeah that i like um yes i once found um a love letter in um in a partner's drawer off their ex and it was really weird i once found a book that the ex had made him do you know with all their memories and i did that with my first boyfriend i remember i've never done it i once found pointless boring

task it was when we split up a usb stick do you know i've still got and i don't know where it is a usb stick with that motorbike thing on when i went on that motorbike and i had and i filmed it all and he had a gopro and it's filmed and i've got the usb of that oh no and we watched it once at maya a few years later was it horrendous we cried he'd put this song over it it's been a long no and i'm like this it's really it's quite traumatic actually for me to watch but it's very funny i wonder if i can find it yeah but the worst is when obviously like you've just started like kind of like seeing someone and you obviously root through their um shit as soon as they've like left obviously um and then you find something that really pisses you off but you can't say

anything and you're right no right you've done something horrific yeah you've gone through that personal belongs like yeah or you find some medication for some weird shit that you didn't know that they had and you're like but you can't say anything because you have been completely bang out of order yeah it's so wrong so wrong but doesn't always you know sometimes it's we do these things that are wrong yeah um anyway where were we so lucas has found a few more nativity stories he said loads of them came through after we um spoke about ashley's little girl and her nativity drama it's begun it's begun and then everyone's using um the the voiceover so they're doing like a video of wherever they are and the sound is like

like bells and christmas and stuff i love christmas i fucking love it do you not yeah i like it it's all right it's all right um right okay so let's look at this one worse than servant number two she reckons and 21 but this topic

comes up every Christmas with me and my mum when I was in infant school we did nativity in our local church and yours truly that's very Christmassy in the church

very wholesome and yours truly the use of that word disgusting it's still going round and if you're using the word wholesome check yourself

oh god sorry I'm being yeah but like what the fuck who the fuck do you think you are calling yourself wholesome it makes me die inside it's so bad it's disgusting it gives

me the it gives me the it yeah i'm just worried about how many people you've just upset i don't care anyway and i probably do weird things as well the thing is what we accept is we might say that but then we probably do the worst you know i hate what and i do it ready guys hi guys so guys right guys if if someone's got a new way that we can start our videos how are you meant to start them this is what i mean i know some people that say troops troops no no no do you know what that's actually a great thing what's your biggest dick of your own so mine on a phone i say bye-bye and i hate it it's my own bye-bye i go bye-bye i hate my whole self yeah i'm just a fucking walking embarrassed yeah i hate the guy when i say guys like but how else do you address people like it's

hard how'd you start a video so guys i hate that guys give us guys you said it anyway back where were we um i need the ag one for me focus right now in local church and yours truly got to be my mum was so happy she wanted everyone to come and watch me so on the day i'm ready in my mary outfit driving around the blue and white sheets absolutely driving around the whole of leeds collecting as many people as possible so that they could come and see me as mary shock horror we're late to the nativity and i had to sit on the side dressed up as mary while another girl took my place no mortified i will never drop this along with the time she made me late to my own birthday party as a child too i bet she was devastated i was talking about this the other

day i took fear a couple of years ago to a birthday party and i'd missed the memo where it was where it was princess dress and we turned up at this party and everyone had princess dresses on and i burst into tears i cried um my mum took me and my sister to a fancy dress party and we had our makeup on and our fancy princess dresses and she knocked on the door and the lady was like yeah it's next sunday oh and we had to get back in the car and we were fucking already can you imagine yeah yeah thea gets raging with me at the minute like she thinks she's already she's only like six does she say stuff to you like you're not my favorite person oh my god yeah oh absolutely i want to go to my grandma's and you know she was like i'm going to grandma's

then and i just say she won't want you in that mood she doesn't want you either um which is really good for her she grows older anyway hi girls and luki the best nativity character was my mom she joined a new school later on in the year when the nativity characters were already given out so she was given the gate she was a gate she had to open and close her arms and had a cardboard cutout gate hanging around her neck my god she had to let them into the stable every year the story comes out and it gets funnier and funnier imagine just be like what can we give her i bet you like this in the staff room the fuck can we give that new girl um a gate a gate a gate she can be the gate were they on crack maybe um love the pod and please come to liverpool for a

brunch remember those things we did yeah those brunches yeah right go on ashley i think there's i think there's a beauty question here let's go sun damage it actually says sun damage i hope she wasn't was she hoping that i'd read that with my lisp was that like a joke hi gorgeous girls hope you're both okay it's nearly christmas and i'm trying not to buy everything you both recommend which is proving hard that perricone gift set i must say was an absolute bargain someone i know but for yeah fine great present fantastic and nicely wrapped and stuff yeah like easy peasy stick a bow on it you're done done yeah bow on me i'm done brilliant i'm trying to get ahead with my skincare but i'll be honest with you both up until now i don't wear

sunscreen every day in fact unless i'm on holiday i don't wear sunscreen the reason being when i do it always clogs my pores i have very problematic hormonal skin what would you recommend i'm also getting married abroad i want to make sure i'm getting my skin used to it now so it can be fully protected leading up to the wedding and limit pigmentation damage before the big day right okay so basically this girl um wants a good protective sps that is isn't going to clog her pores which is very hard but there's ones that i would recommend that aren't too expensive because you're gonna have to try a few out i think yeah what do you think so what i would say i don't think it's just about the sun cream i think it's about making sure at the end of the day

you are clear clearing your face properly so you are taking it all off because what i think sometimes happens when you do a full face of makeup and you go out for the day you come home you've got to take your makeup off yeah you've got to take it off because you've got makeup it's my favorite thing to do i yeah same whereas i think if you just go out with sun cream on you would come home and you wouldn't yeah to do a cleanse to do a cleanse unless i mean i do every day and night but not everyone would so you have to remember i love like a pad so you have to remember at night even every day it's not just the sun cream it's getting it all off and using something like a really good toner that's going to refine and make sure that you're not leaving any shit

on your skin from the day so i think that's important and then with actual sun cream okay so i love the helio care yeah and it's like 14 15 quid the helio care one in the white and orange yes and it it just there's a tinted one there's a not i like the tinted there's ones that aren't oily i would try that super gloop super goop yeah i've not tried that and um what's the unseen sunscreen ultraviolet spray is nice that did sting my eyes a tiny bit maybe it's because it was a spray and it was going but um the la roche-posay one yes really really nice too i think you need to use a separate one though don't use because sometimes you can get like a i can't think like a super drug whatever like a like a store one and it says foundation with spf i used the zado one

and i wasn't impressed with it but supposedly they've bought a new one out that's quite good i love the skinceuticals factor 51 i love skinceuticals in general yeah it's absolutely stunning and i try it you've got a bit of time now try them see how you get on but i think work on your oiliness is work on that um and try root cheat for your oily skin as well yeah it's really good i've heard for the um the spots and clogged pores and stuff they're clear and calm yeah and then also what i would say about like spf and stuff like that that's like my mind is gone okay thank you for that ashley anyway next one hi girls she she's she's ready to finish on maternity darling hi girls big fan of the pod i have a question for us hooded eye girlies not me

anymore but i get you the pain is real i've had plasma blast on my upper eyelids twice and i did find it helps a bit but i'm not happy with how they look you're wasting your money yeah before i start researching blepharoplastic is there anything else less intrusive you would recommend or is surgery the only way we've done this one before we've answered this similar question surgery is the only way it really honestly is like there's lasers you can do the plasma pen um i a lady sent me a picture of what scarring oh my god you don't use i think a lot of these things depends who's doing it yeah as well i really do i don't think we can say for what one particular treatment don't get that because i don't think botox gives you a brow lift

like with the hooded eye immediately i've got high brows anyway so i don't really know but i would say in all honesty i would say surgery is really the only way there's creams that will help tighten it um and that's always good give you a little bit of a tight look but what what it is it's the same as a saggy breast it's an area of skin that's lost its elasticity and he's now dropping it's like a stomach after a baby you're not going to get that elasticity back honestly guys like blefs are a hot thing that people are doing at the minute i think it's because it's easily accessible it's not too expensive it makes a massive it makes a massive difference but what i would definitely say is do you know what it's from lot written it's from us

wearing fake eyelashes it weighs our eyes down and starting botox too young yes i've heard that starting botox too young 100 so think you know when you've got the individual lashes on our eyes aren't actually meant to have that extra weight on them um so things like that are impacting well i've had mine done twice i'm gonna need mine in about two years and i only had them done two years ago i think that they have to be careful of how much they take off so it's a gradual like thing yeah yours are really good um when i look at pictures of me though from when i was 18 i had the bleph it's absolutely is it's hereditary um yeah and the thing is if you don't do anything um because i was speaking to my mom about this when you're older it actually affects your vision

yeah no one of my friends had it on the nhs yeah okay yeah well there you go we're not saying have it done but i really also want the bleph skin pinch on my lower i would love that so if anyone hears of any uk surgeons doing it tell us we don't really know what it is we just know it kind of gets rid of the lower it's like where they burn your eye or something sounds great sign me up baby right chicky chick i'm a new first time mom my baby's three months old now my partner is amazing he's really helpful and can't do enough i had placenta encapsulation which i loved and found helpful for energy mood and recovery there you go that is what it's meant for baby blues and energy and so there you go the past few weeks i've felt a dip in my mood i've been more tearful

i'm obviously tired my baby sleeps quite well but i almost feel like it's a delayed crash from obviously giving birth is it postnatal i'm a little bit traumatized from the birth and the follow-up is shocking i haven't spoken about it out loud i feel worried at how it might be viewed or thought of any advice on supplements i can take for this late on post baby would be appreciated right i honestly think like the baby's three months old now that whole newborn oh my god novel oh my god it's like started wearing off and maybe if you're off on maternity leave like i was saying to lauren it's that month three of i agree when reality yeah you're like oh another day turning the telly on to leave swimming and having a cup of tea the endorphins of the birth have worn off

people's excitement of the new baby has worn off you still are excited and love your baby but that whole baby bubble yeah has worn off your husband has probably as amazing as he is and which is good has probably gone back to normal his life is kind of much different than it was before yeah um and you're kind of in a situation where you're not stuck i think i disagree with you that it's that it's unusual at month three to feel it i think it's very normal because if you think about three or six or yeah in those first few months you are fight or flight mode yeah you are not sleeping but you are focused baby and you are in this kind of bubble by month three you are kind of getting the hang of it a little bit more and you're starting to look at the outer world again

yeah oh my god you remember and also they get a lot louder then at month three like when they cry and stuff and it's a bit like oh fucking yeah and you're now looking thinking is this forever like is this and you're getting that feeling of who am i who am i because that initial fight or flight has now died down and now it's like right who am i what am i gonna do what do i want like what clothes should i wear like you it's a scary part actually at that point and it's more and i'm guessing she is on mat leave most probably yeah that for your mental health is so i would give yourself a break for one i would say this is extremely normal and i actually think talking about it is number one yeah you are not unusual if i don't if you've got mum friends

say it you don't have to say no one's saying you don't love your baby you don't love being a mum maybe start at one of those baby class things when i with my first baby i went to those did you no but my friends had had a baby at the same time so we did everything every day together yeah so we bounced off each other that's good no but those baby classes are good i mean i wouldn't bother doing all that shite now but for your first one you need to meet mum friends i agree mum friends are important friends are so important you need to understand where they're coming from yeah i think speak to your partner um and the fact that you're a bit traumatized about the birth i think also normal and also you know you've given birth whatever way you gave birth it can be quite

traumatic and it's also a lot to get your head around and there are also long-standing health things after that if you've had a section it still can be sore it can if you've had a vaginal you could have had a tear like it can go on for quite some time so give yourself a break if you are if there is something wrong after the birth get to the fucking doctor yeah and don't stop pushing it yeah until my friend had a second baby two years ago go on she's been struggling with a bit of um what's it called we do incontinence incontinence and a few other things and she was like oh well i've had a baby it is what it is and me and my other friend in the group chat like no you've had a baby that doesn't mean you piss yourself forever you go and she's not banged the door down

turns out she's got something like a second degree pro a bad one yeah and she's got two options and it's like either surgery or surgery or it's going to get worse so my point is you bang the door down yeah until it's sorted because you don't have to live like that yeah and i think give yourself some time and speak to your partner and speak to your friends you have to be speaking out loud about this because we've all been yeah yeah so i think it sounds like you're really switched on and you know what to do just make sure that you're getting like enough iron that that is a big thing um and if you are off on mat leave maybe like have a focus of structure i'm gonna make myself a really nice lunch and dinner every day to your day walk to the shops do a gym class with the baby this is

what i used to do i had a structure it would be get up this that the other then i would do whatever breakfast for the baby then i would go out and i would walk to x place i would do this i would come back and then the baby would have a bath i would then make dinner it was a very structured day like instead of doing a once a week big shop i'd be like what do we fancy today right let's make it a little mission let's go to starbucks and get a coffee let's go here you need to try your best to keep structured because as human beings we all actually thrive off routine oh children especially okay right let's have a little break let's have a break it's hard being being so intelligent and giving people such wonderful advice it's tiring it's really really does take its toll we'll be

back after the break with your dilemmas but first are you a loyal listener of nip tuck do you set your alarm every wednesday and friday for a new release do you loll at us whilst on the train or driving to work well spread the love spread the pod share share share baby we love it we love to see it welcome back guys lauren yeah whoa right dilemma is my boyfriend putting me in baby limbo i've been with my boyfriend for five years he's 35 and 34 in the early days we've talked about having kids he already has a son my amazing stepson who's 12 i love him like my own um it's not really the same as having your own though is it or so i imagine two years ago i was putting

uracutane for acne worked amazing but there are side effects i couldn't get pregnant at all during the treatment due to severe side effects yeah and then my boyfriend started saying we should wait three months to be safe then six months i questioned him whether he was just putting off having a baby but he said it was not that he was trying to get the raccutane out of my system i think you do have to wait for six months you do but he's like does really do men really bother about stuff like that then he asked me if i really really want kids and he said that he's actually happy with one that's very selfish and he wouldn't have any more i said i 100 want a baby with him and for him to let me know if he 100 doesn't because we need to address it and i need to move

on we compromised and i said i'd be happy to try for just one baby he said he'd be willing to have baby for me so i lovely how nice so like you'd have to do anything anyway so i had the chance to be a mum and i said look i don't want to be older than 35 or 36 having a baby the chances of conceiving me are getting lower by the month he said not to worry we've now booked our first family holiday for july and i've said can we start trying in the new year because i don't care if i'm pregnant on holiday he said no chance i'd enjoy it as much and he keeps saying things to try and put off having the baby he's now investigating having a hair transplant and the doctor has given him a medication for six months beforehand looked into it lower sperm count probably not a good idea

to get pregnant i've told him why not wait until after we conceive and then go do your hair transplant but he's having none of it he said he wants to do this for himself fuck off and he supported me on uracatine i've tried to explain that the issue is i have a time limit and he doesn't he needs to consider it he's saying that he can take a break but there's just no progress i am heartbroken at the prospect of him doing this on purpose and and keeping me hanging until it's too late which i already feel like it is all i see is friends having babies and i feel left behind now but he's not taking me up on my feelings and he gets defensive whenever i bring it up what do you think if a man wants to have a baby with you a man will have a baby with you

like in my experience like the two tight different men that i've had babies with i'm being honest we're both literally like i want to fucking i want to breed with you now bitch yeah like if another thing if a man wants to marry you he'll fucking marry you there's no excuses if a man wants to be with you and also girls we've only got one fucking life to live princess treatment or nothing yeah princess treatment or we're out and princess treatment is not actually even princess treatment it's the bare minimum of you have one life you were only here once babe like i agree you're 34 you've got it in you that you want to have kids it's going to be a long journey ahead you might want two you might want three in the end and that's you

my concern here is not just the baby it's him as a person you've looked after his son exactly my point my problem here isn't just this actual bit pregnancy bit it's the bigger picture and also why is he not thinking about you i supported you on that so you should you should yeah this doesn't work i'm not keen on this whole thing it's giving me a bad feeling and my other concern is okay you force him into having a baby with you how long is that realistically gonna last if he doesn't want a baby with you he's gonna be off this is what like i always you know when you can't force men you cannot trap men financially you can but you can't trap a man this is the thing my friends who like decide to have a baby to like rescue a relationship

or because they just want a baby guys it's a fucking long road ahead of you the being pregnant thing you're going to be boring as if your relationship was already strained yeah it is going to be straight you might have health problems are they going to support you through that when they didn't want the baby anyway like the baby's not here so they don't actually have to financially look after you and stuff like that you it's a very very physically and emotionally hard time for you and them as well then obviously the birth they usually show up for that actually and for a few weeks they might get back together then they'll fuck off again and then you'll be left with tits around your ankles and a fucking screaming kid and you're like you cannot can't

leave the house you can't trap a man with a baby never ever ever and if a man wants to have a baby with you it's in there and there will be a man out there that wants to have a baby with you what's the word like that if you go back to hunt together at times they that's what they think like their instinct yeah i compare it to my situation so me and james have got four between us and the question now is do we have any more he's already got three he doesn't really need any more he's always said to me i clearly i've got three i'm i'm good but you've only got one and you might have it in you and we might want one together and i will support you if you want another and we will we'll make it work and we could then have five children but we'll make it work yeah and if he

wants a baby whether it's number seven he'll fucking have one so i just think if this man wanted a baby with you he would be doing and i'm really concerned about the bigger picture here yeah and also like the financials of like where he's put he's not married you yet either yeah and he's having a hair transplant i'm concerned red flag red flags you've been together five years but what i don't want you to think is that it's a waste so i'll just have a baby with him because that's 18 years or forever of having a baby with a mom maybe just freeze your eggs because you are getting you're getting closer to 35 now and they say that you are meant to freeze them before yeah 35 and then also if you do meet the right guy at some point which we're hoping you do

very soon the option you could meet them tomorrow you could meet them next year but you've still got your age 34 eggs stored as backup agree ready to go you can do it that might make you you know spenny so you need to look at that side of it but if it will make you feel a bit more calm it's insurance an insurance policy don't be going on holidays put your money into freezing your eggs i agree and i think you need to look it'll make you sleep better and my other very last worry is he's going to drag this on a few more years and then he's going to tell you he doesn't want a child and that is the most unfair thing and then probably meet sharon down the road and have a kid within the next week by mistake yeah all right well good luck good luck on that one let us know

how you got that was good advice i think it was um right get in touch if you want us to give you advice if you want to ask us beauty questions if you want to tell us some funny stories you can email us at hello at nip tuck pod.com so you can send us whatsapps voice notes everything really just get in touch this podcast is about you guys as well give us a five star rating put us on your instagram tell your mates and we will be back next wednesday guys we love you we love you bye