Nip Tuck - Bonus Babes: Butt Plug Chronicles

Episode Date: October 14, 2022

We LOVE hearing your bat s*** crazy stories because it makes us girls realise that we all do some really weird stuff. From rocket propelled butt plugs to pissing in the bath and of course, was it really the dog who shat on the sofa? You've got dilemmas and we've got the answers for you.To get involved with the show, you can send us a DM on Instagram and TikTok, find us @niptuckpod. Or you can email [e-mail] NOW you can send us your Icks & Dilemma's via Whatsapp! You can text or voice note the girls on [phone]Our GDPR privacy policy was updated on August 8, 2022. Visit acast.com/privacy for more information. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

hi guys and welcome to nip tuck not giving a bonus baby i've got the giggles today i've got the giggles this is the podcast where we celebrate being positive aspirational women on nip tuck we want to get your voice heard you can send us a dm we're on instagram and tiktok find us at nip tuck pod can i just say something about tiktok were you going to say the same thing what we've had four videos that are nearly a million or over which means four million people on tiktok have seen our faces yeah and now you can also send your ics and dilemmas via whatsapp baby so that means you can voice note us and we can play your gorgeous voices out in future episodes please do voice not can we do something where we wore the voice or no because i think a lot of people

will be like you ain't listened to that so when you send it tell us it's anonymous it's totally anonymous and but yeah unless you put your name yeah if you want us to do that fine but i think that would be pure lol so can we please do a bit of that guys so yeah if you guys get in touch then it means that we can share your stories we can give you our take on things and we can make you feel better about stuff you've done because everyone else has as well exactly when your life's feeling shit listen to someone else's and you'll feel better simply head to this episode description for more information we want to know what's been getting on your tits we want to know what's giving you the ick and any other bits mainly we want embarrassing sex stories because

we love them um questions like poo poo just poo pure poo we um but any questions that you've got that you want us to answer we love that as well a bit of deep and meaningful yeah we'll do deep and meaningful as well we don't give a fuck we don't give a fuck so ash don't know if you've been looking on the insta but we've got an amazing story right so i'm going to read it to you okay we love these so i'll read it out to you now no it's titled butt plug chronicles okay which i think sounds like a fucking brilliant title and i think it's going to be great yeah just listening to this week's two episodes i've been listening to you girls from the beginning and i just love you yeah we love you we love you my kind of girls down to a t congrats on it becoming so successful

Thank you. Got a day one right there. Thanks, babe. Okay, ready for it? I'm cabin crew and on a trip to Singapore, I meet a pilot from another airline on a night out. Pilots are horny bastards. And they all shag each other, don't they?

Pilots and staff, everyone just shags everyone. We had the greatest weekends. Dinner, drinks, sex, etc. At one point, he washed my hair. I mean, what the fuck? Oh, she means in the bath. Like, oh, yeah. Okay, that's weird.

so good that we planned for me to go to Amsterdam where he lives oh what a sexual place what do they call people from Amsterdam

like Swedish what are they called Danes they're fit Dutch Dutch people are fit it's the blonde hair yeah

they are fit yeah so a few weeks later feeling a bit promiscuous I know that feeling she'd been listening to WAP she'd been listening to WAP and she packed

her butt plugs and some other kinky shit for my trip to the dam we have a great time and one night I've got in the glass butt plug why glass

I've seen those before they're sexy looking aren't they so you can see through to the poo pipe I don't get that I don't know why you'd want it see through

anyway so she's I'm reverse cowgirl let me just imagine that so he's watching her yeah living my best life feeling like an x-rated star

love it bitch love it I'm obviously bent a certain way yeah and my glass butt plug shoots out

like a bullet from a gun mentos in coke like if you're not seeing my mentos in coke so it flies out of her arsehole maybe she like sneezed cracks him on the chin leaving a laceration from lip to chin tip oh my god that's like right down there well it's glass as well yeah fuck i wonder if there was poo on it so a and e for the rest of the night and he left with 11 stitches no are you ready for the end blocked him when i got home so she's blocked him because it came out of her it gave her the ick that he got hurt yeah you're a man how did you get hurt by that how did you get a laceration

stitches yeah yeah you pussy so because of her tight bitch yeah because of her tight arsehole wasn't his fault he got blocked and he's now got a scar for everyone people say where's that scar from he's gonna see it shooting out of her ass in his mind this is why just like don't do ash shit ass shit is dangerous it's so dangerous lucas disagrees but i mean that shit is dangerous because there is always something up there that you don't want to come out maybe we're just not that confident with our shit but how confident can you be like well like smells a bit too no but lucas just loves it anyway so i think it's we've not had like lucas just loves it but we've not had ass experience to me it's not even about the pleasure side of it i'm sure it would be okay i

don't mind a finger and like i don't mind like it's okay but it's the thought of a thrust in and out heavily and what could happen that it's the poo you need a bit more confidence maybe it's the poo that scares me not the actual feeling i think it'd probably be quite nice and i just think there's nothing sexy about that so why would you risk that do it in the vagina nothing can go wrong then but i guess if it's the only hole you got yeah absolutely we've got alternatives here i just don't want to go near the poo anyhow right okay i love that so any more stories yeah that just gives me the ick a bit the thought of any poo anywhere on someone i'm trying oh my god lauren like do you remember gonna say something about every school had this rumor right there's

three of us in the room okay the rumor where it went round and this is what's put us off as shit this rumor about a girl and a boy had bum sex on the sofa and then um the sofa got covered in poo and they blamed it on the dog and the mum and dad got the dog put down that's not a rumor that's ever went around my school well maybe it's true that was the thing that put me if anyone went to what school did you go to oh tringham girls oh you're a fucking loser if anyone went to altering a girl's ground at school and got bummed to fuck and shat on the sofa

and had the dog put down. Send us a DM. It'll remain anonymous. Send it over, hon. Was it you? Toffee! Was it you? No, your dog's still alive, little Alfie.

Yeah. No, it was not me. How old is he now? Oh my God, okay. Your mum listens. Stop it. Sorry. Mum, stop listening.

Right. Icks. Ick or sick. We've had quite a few icks in. so here's one that we've just had in uh the other day god there's some right whoppers me being one of them sometimes looking out the window at the gym and i've just watched a guy stand by the pool and fully set his timer on his camera prop it against the table to get a selfie of himself that makes it so it doesn't look like he's alone so he's done it so he looks like

someone's taking it of him or to get the full body in he's not got youth on his side either but he does have abs to be fair fair enough doing selfies as a man is a joke anyway right yeah so let's talk about this

because I know you feel strongly about men in social media no they hate it don't you no no has Ed ever taken a selfie no

never I've got the giggles at the thought of him doing it like setting it up and being like doing these different things like mmm smolder

if he did divorce no I agree with you completely does James do selfies no no he does pictures Lucas do you take selfies

no Lucas would you no James does it with the kids and stuff and him on like that's cute but not himself

like no but then we cringe for doing selfies no we're allowed but why is that because we said but it is it's true

it's cringe but no it's not we're allowed we're allowed I'm not making any more exceptions this is just it we can they can't

darling you are right that was an absolute ick I agree absolute I'm gonna oh oh oh a woman ick are you ready oh so a man has sent us a woman ick i think it was a woman sending a woman that is a thing guys we want icks of everything by the way yeah we want women ick

as well yeah um the bit the biggest woman ick i have on instagram is the girls that push the fucking let's not say the word of the product yeah okay because we might get in trouble but we know what it is every day last ever chance to buy at this price this deal won't come again next week selling for the exact same never been seen before deal get a life oh and they get so defensive on their stories when people call them out for being multi-level marketing we spoke about that didn't we yeah it literally makes me cringe when i see the big presentations and the events they put on and i've been promoted to diamond level oh this is really fucking hard with the staged balloon and champagne pics like they've absolutely made it in life fuck off you absolute

sados are them deep beeps even good for your skin i'd be interested to know what you think of them wow she's so angry okay that is an ick for me as well but again like we said everyone needs to get a coin and if you don't like it unfollow unfollow or mute and move on yeah as long as what we always say again they're not hurting kids or animals they're just selling so we but we understand oh i get it it is so so annoying and that thing that they're talking about it's really bad for you you shouldn't so manual exfoliation is a no so do you know like anything with very heavy grains no anything that actually manually no so there's a difference between manual exfoliation using acids yes so there's three acids there's acids there's all different ways but an acid is something

that chemical reaction causes you to shed skin a device where you physically harm your skin to the point of dry dry that is not good for you so when you ever see like oh exfoliate once a week no no don't think of your old exfoliation we're not going to doing beads on it we're not doing what's it called clean and clear yeah blackhead do you remember the apricots we're not doing that um so yeah anything that does that it's just going to damage the what's the top layer called the epidermis and the no what i'm trying to say the barrier there's something barrier yeah do you know what i'm trying to say it's going to damage that so no no we don't like it however i love the fact that she's so into this i like people who have an opinion and i like the fact that whether she's

right or wrong it fucking winds her up yeah yeah and i actually think it is annoying but i also think unfollow then because i'm probably really annoying use that thing to brush your teeth with not your face i agree yeah okay or clean the toilet yeah clean the toilet with it and then give your boyfriend give it and give it your boyfriend as a toothbrush yeah okay and then clean your bum hole speaking of toothbrushes listen to this one so this actually made you feel really ill didn't it yes so ick pic i've we've got a picture of it as well i've got the picture i've gone to brush my teeth after my boyfriend and there's some type of food in his toothbrush that's disgusting am i being dramatic or is that a massive ick why hasn't he rinsed it

why is the food in his teeth first thing in the morning he's not been eating your ass has he that is disgusting I don't know why I just said that

I'm so sorry honestly I've got this thing where stuff comes out why did I say that so first of all like remember it's a toothbrush

it's meant for getting food out of your teeth like you can't really ick him because he's got food on it no you can't he's getting his teeth clean but you're right

why was there something in his teeth in the morning has he been midnight snacking or it's a build up of stuff But didn't he brush them last night? Maybe he's not been brushing them.

I had a boyfriend once who didn't agree with brushing your teeth before bed. Why? He was from Leeds. Oh, God. Explains it then. I'm joking. No, but I think it was a Leeds thing. Really?

Because I was like to him, like, babe, no, like, you brush, like, morning and night. And he was like, well, I can understand in the morning because your breath smells of shit. But I can't understand why you would brush them at night. And he'd fully been brought up to things. Anyone from Leeds Can you just tell us That this isn't a Leeds thing And then we'll put it out there

So everyone knows Because all these girls From Leeds now All the boys are stopping Messaging them If any boys are reading now They're like Oh screw off

I'm not following We've probably done some dirty To some of our Leeds listeners No I don't think It's a Leeds thing But let us know if it is But yeah What I would do

In that situation Sometimes I don't brush mine at night That's disgusting Sometimes I'm really tired I would throw the toothbrush In the bin And buy him a new one What go out

And just get him Would you mention it to him Like er No, don't mention it to him. But just check his teeth the next time. Is there something wrong? Come here, you, and open your gob. Right.

Ooh. Ooh. So they have been your icks. Now let's get deep and meaningful. Okay, let's go. Dilemma. Whoa, what the fuck are you doing? Of.

Stop it. No. Stop. It's not funny. It's like when I sing. That's my job. It's my job. Dilemma of the week.

Dilemma of the week. I have a dilemma my best friend has started seeing my brother this has caused her to become very distant from me and it feels like she has used me to get him this has made us grow apart and it's upset and annoying for me as I feel like I've lost my best friend during this oh that's sad I'm still trying to make arrangements with her however I don't want to do things just when my brother is busy what would you two do thanks and keep doing the pod okay i've been there what tell us so my brother my one of my best friends went out with him for four years mm-hmm say me your brother's way older yeah oh yeah so she is younger than me and my brother's

way older so they met at halloween party and i remember when they met thinking uh was it spark straight away and i was thinking fuck anyway did they secretly start yeah and did she ask you loads of questions yeah yeah so then the next morning we'd been out and i was taking her home and a phone came up luke and that's my brother's name and i was like oh my god you're shagging him what the fuck is going on so she was like we're texting i was fine with it like whatever um so but i do know what it's like and when they me and my brother weren't like super close anyway so it wasn't this sounds like this girl is quite yeah well best friend yeah yeah so it wasn't pleasant when they had fallouts and stuff like that but and when they ended it was a bit like sometimes you like

i don't want to know i don't want to be involved in it but it didn't make any difference to my relationship with her whereas here if anything we probably got a bit closer whereas here i feel like this is this is causing her to have problems with a friend and that's where the issue is i think she is right when she says has she used her to her my friend used to tell me like sex stories about my brother what what kind of thing a really big dick he's gonna love that but she used to be like his dick's massive do you want to see

and I'd be like well you never see right this conversation okay this is getting weird oh getting very strange yeah Lucas is freaking out so anyhow

let's just let's just rein this back so I think you need to speak to her there's no what do you think she should do Ash

I think it's pretty obvious I think you've lost her what yeah forever yeah what if they end up sister-in-laws

what's your brother like is he a player i just think it sounds like she's being a dick to her right okay i think you need to remember this when you first start seeing someone be it your brother be it whoever it might be you are with them all the time you have your blinkers on you're in love you think they're amazing and they start farting and leaving the toilet seat up yeah but at the beginning like you're in love with them so you have to give her that and it might and she won't know what she's doing she's just so happy when she's put here i i don't want to do things when my brother's busy well that's what happens

when you get a boyfriend it actually does you do things when your partner's busy yeah it's true and you don't want to be that person you say you won't but that is how it goes because as you get older that is your priority sorry it is so I think what you do

is you sit down with her and you tell her how you're feeling and you say to her I still want to have time with you blah blah blah and if she doesn't then you've lost her yeah I agree

and I would also suggest that you change your surname and get adopted by someone else who's not your brother anymore oh okay that sounds easy hope that helps I've just been listening

Paul look at a picture of his dick why am I so weird what's wrong with me right okay any others that we've got asked moving on one more so i've just been listening to the latest pod what do you think about this i realized that my boyfriend's porn fetish was pissing on each other golden shower porn apparently it's called it is it is called that he left a link up before on his laptop and the whole search history every time he watched porn was this kind of content so that is his thing what the fuck is that all about but he never once instigated or insinuated that's hard for me to say yeah with me in sex he seemed very normal

very normal sexually sounds quite boring i never dare ask him i never broached the subject and i felt like it was accidentally found my weight stop i never dare ask him about it and i've never broached i never dare ask him about it and i've never broached the situation and i felt it was accidentally found but maybe i should have what do you girls think right my question here is did you go on his laptop and search his internet search history because he definitely did okay she did she can't ask him about it no but if she actually did just find it she has every right to or she makes up a story that makes it look like she accidentally found it yeah i feel like finding that can be quite normal so maybe she searched for something else and found it do you know what

i would do what piss on him drink half a bottle of pinot grigio and just say you've you're pissy pissy pants you would on an empty stomach I'm not saying anything well coming home from work

are we oh pissy pants again yeah that's what you do or you have a little argument you'll be like yeah well at least I don't like people pissing on each other

no this is what you need to do you need to say oh my god I was on to looking at something searched it and I searched

we need to think of something that starts with urine urinary tract infection I was searching for urinary tract infection information and this came up and then you just need to be like

oh my god are you into that always make light of a situation when you go in there to doom and gloom they panic men panic

make light of it another option would be literally just say to him right get in the bath and he'll be like what

Sarah what by the way her name's not Sarah just my thought get in the bath and then take your knickers off and just piss on him and he'll love it

but what if he's like my brother's been using my phone you fucking psycho get off me I'm coming I think you just make a joke

I think like I saw this do you into that I'll do that if you want to do it of course I'll do a bit of that with you if you want

do you like that do you know what do you like that that'd be such an easy fetish for your partner because you always need a wee yeah exactly

it's not even difficult no do they wee in the face or the body do you know or do you drink it one of our friends who we used to work

with husband made her do it who oh really yeah and i asked her how it works and she says that she gets she takes all of her clothes off right then she either has to sit because it's like a dominant thing isn't it where it's like oh filthy slag i'm gonna piss on you so you take your clothes off yeah and then um it has to either be in the bath or the shower right okay for the obvious reasons yeah yeah and then they piss on you oh wait who pisses oh you're thinking of him he wanted to piss on her oh yeah so so yeah i guess this is does he want to piss on you this could go both ways and if you piss on him you might be annoyed and when he wanted to piss on you i don't mind being the pissing on but i don't know if i would want to and would you crouch over

them to do the week or would you stand like a boy and let it come out like a fountain on them I always Have you ever Weared an urinal I used to do it All the time When I was a kid Because it's naughty

I used to stand there Like ooh Over the urinal I bet I'm not the only one That used to do that Mate tell me you did that You've definitely pissed In a urinal

You haven't Oh god I've done it loads When I was a kid I've probably pissed On Ed's leg Before in the shower Or something

Oh yeah I've done that Yeah That's standard Right Right After three You're going to say the truth The truth Ash

After three Do you wee in the bath One two three Yes okay right i've got another one yeah and i'm marinating my own place yeah and i do it as soon as i get in it's like even if i don't need a way i sit down but the funny thing is because it's all warm fear has now started saying to me mum can i wee in the bath and i feel like well no but yeah i guess if you want and i'll say to well i don't know just don't ask me just do what

you're doing hon um have you ever done a poo in a weird place yeah when i when i was about eight or nine I used to work I used to work I used to live in somewhere called Georgia anyone listening from Georgia probably not

so it's Eastern European former Soviet Union Georgia not America and we had this big house and we lived there and my dad worked there anyway I used to

because I was a bit weird you know because I used to travel around as a kid and I think it made me a bit fucking weird so I used to go up to the top of the garden we had a massive long drive

and I used to get in the bush and I used to shit in the bush whilst peeping through and watching everyone in the house not knowing I was shitting in the bush and people going past

and I'd be like What did you wipe your bum with? I don't remember that much. A leaf or something. A leaf, probably, yeah, but I used to do it regularly and it was like my thing. I'd go and do a poo, but I had pooed and no one knows. Yeah, I was fucked.

So, yeah, I have done that. Have you pooed anywhere weird? That's probably it, though. I don't like a weird poo. Apart from when I shot it. Oh, apart from in Selfridges. Yeah, that was bad, that one. Oh, my God.

Maybe that's why they were dicks with you at Selfridges, because they knew that you shot yourself in their store. To be fair, I'd be annoyed at that. Like, they've got such a prestigious name we've peed there you poop pants get out wow anyway

so we've had loads we literally love it we love you sending your stuff in mate we love it baby I honestly love it we are here for it so please do more

you can send us a DM we're on Instagram and we are on TikTok for Mill Honey find us at niptuckpod you can email us as well hello at niptuckpod.com

and now you can also send your ics and dilemmas via WhatsApp which we mentioned earlier so easy for you guys you can literally send voice notes please send voice notes

because I just really laugh at them I love them and we'll make them anonymous and if you want us to warp we will warp you you can just go to this episode's description

and there's info on there for you we will be back with the next episode next Wednesday have a lovely weekend bitches