Nip Tuck - Bonus Babes: Frankfurter Fanny

Episode Date: October 28, 2022

For the second time this week the girls are joined by their good friend Katie Alex. We hear some of your Icks and even better some outrageous stories that our listeners sent in via voice note. Warning: You might never want to eat a hot dog after listening to this...To get involved with the show, you can send us a DM on Instagram and TikTok, find us @niptuckpod. Or you can email [e-mail] can send us your Icks & Dilemma's via Whatsapp! You can text or voice note the girls on [phone]Our GDPR privacy policy was updated on August 8, 2022. Visit acast.com/privacy for more information. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

hi guys and welcome to nip tuck not giving a fuck but oh my god katie is back and now we have turned her and she is swearing she's spent too much time done to me this is the bonus episode and katie is back with us we did one episode with her and we really enjoyed it so basically we just want to keep her and i just couldn't stay she couldn't stay away so she's come back so yeah this podcast is about us celebrating being positive aspirational women

not giving a fuck doing what you want saying what you want being whoever you want to be and getting your clitoris pounded what the fuck

are you okay Ashley's been so weird this week anyway Ash are you alright no no

you're so weird this week I'm back on Instagram but only for now until someone reports me again I hope to god she stays on there

because I just don't she's horrible yeah honestly so anyway on nip tuck we want you to get your voice heard you can send us a dm we're on instagram i'm on instagram and tiktok me and katie are on instagram yeah for now for now actually can't wait for us to get got she'll be so happy find us at nip tuck pod you can also email us hello at nip tuck pod.com we've also got our whatsapp so you can send us your x your dilemmas all that jazz if you go onto our profile the number is on there if you want to remain anonymous that's absolutely fine we will never ever reveal never grass on you we want to know what's been

getting on your tits what's given you the ick and any other bits basically we don't give a fuck oh katie didn't want to do it that time she got all excited the first time i did i was like she shut out she shut out anxiety kicks in don't worry guys so I was out for dinner

last night with a good friend of mine and she is single absolutely stunning girl really really lovely really confident story of everyone's life but still single

yeah I know but then wait till you hear what's out there so she was she went on this date with this guy that she'd met

on that dating app the premium one ah the one that I was on didn't actually find anyone on there but yeah yeah and I think he was

a footballer of course like she said he was fit went on this date was absolutely amazing yeah it was going great um had a few drinks like didn't snog or anything just like friend vibes she was in the car on the way home in his car and he went can i um can i ask you something and she was like what anyway i just i really like you and um i've got this fantasy that i want to relive is this day one day one yeah i've got this fantasy that i want to act out and you seem really special like he was like gaslighting her into like this is like the perfect choice yeah when he's done it every i've selected

you like that's what he was kind of saying so he was like right so um so she was like what like she said she had like three glasses of wine so she was just like go on like three out of my right okay where do you want me lights camera action go anyway go on but that's like you know like she was saying like she was thinking like is it a star wars fetish like yeah um so what i like this fantasy i can't stop thinking about and you're the perfect person for i want uh you to chain me up to something and i want post yeah and i want to watch you get fucked by seven men seven what it was very i was all right with one but seven seven has to be seven like as if he can't get to her but he has to watch i don't know what to say she got out of the car

and blocked her yeah on the first date seven men it's gonna be painful that's and she was just like well I might be busy after

okay if you would anyway oh my god that's really bad actually so what did she do she just like now that's worrying

that's rapey behaviour yeah yeah yeah bless her no she was a bit upset about it and that's why that's why I'm so glad I've got a boyfriend now

because that's the kind of shit that is out there welcome to 2022 you have to be shagged by seven men just for a second date like we do it by choice but i know that i'm actually it's terrifying that's terrifying that that man is out there so girls if you come across this man let us know report him yeah maybe don't let us know maybe ring yeah hang on a minute i'll phone the police after i've

yeah one of the girls lauren the bad date bounty hunter oh my god i could turn up at dates and be like, I could wear an outfit. What's that man called? Dog. The Bounty Hunter. Oh, I think he's died. No, his wife died. Oh, I think.

R.I.P. And new! So, obviously, you know how much we love hearing your stories. Now, Lucas has got some voice notes for us. We've not heard them yet. We haven't heard them, which is our absolute fave. He's heard them because he's lucky enough to get the phone all the time. Can we hear them?

He says yes. Yes, we can. this girl actually sent us a voice note last week but lucas has said that she's so fucking funny that we can't not hear her again we have got to play her again so i feel like i want to be her best mate as well so we're going to listen to her again yeah okay i've got a story for you um so my cousin um knows this girl and her mum is also friends with my auntie and she was about i think she was about 18 or 19 when this happened um so she was with her boyfriend and like you know they were in bed and whatever and he goes to go down on her and he literally said

oh my god like i i'm really really sorry but it really stinks like i can't like it just this can you go for a shower so she was obviously absolutely mortified and like went and had a shower and like washed herself and stuff and like came back to the room just tried to get back in the mood or whatever and he goes to go down on her again he's just like oh my god i literally can't do it like it really really stinks so she's quite close with her mum i would be so embarrassed to even say this to my mum but she told her mum this story that like she really smells and she's really like she's really embarrassed blah blah blah so her mum's like okay well let's just go to the doctor i thought she was gonna say let's have a snack so she goes to the doctor with her mom

and um obviously i open her legs and the doctor's like oh my god it's like it really stinks and then like it wasn't like bb or anything so she then like gets whatever equipment and she goes like into her vagina and she pulls out this broken off piece of frankfurter sausage and the girl was like literally absolutely mortified and it like clicked with her like so basically previously like a couple of days before she had been masturbating with a frankfurter sausage which some of it had broken off and like stayed in her vagina and it just been like rotting away and like absolutely stunk so anyway she took it out her mom was just looking at her like what the fuck it was really embarrassing it really stank and yeah at least they got to the bottom

of it oh that is like i'm never going to bake up chippy again but do you know what a frankfurter sausage is probably the closest you're gonna get to an actual dick right so i kind of understand the logic behind it surely you'd see it's got the same um it's got the same texture as a very thin though I don't know what to say very thin so she didn't she smell it

herself imagine the guy being like well you'd inspect it to make sure it was in one piece wouldn't you I don't know

would you would you pull it out maybe she had a bite of it maybe she was hungry so she had a little bite and then popped it back up again I don't know

I don't like frankfurters I would like a chippy sausage aren't they made out of like I don't eat sausages they're made out of

like asshole and stuff yeah they are hot dogs are made of chicken hey but do you know what i do eat what greg's sausage roll yeah greg sausage roll would you masturbate with one that'd be hot really hot no because do you know what listen these stories right about girls shoving shit up the vaginas it's all bullshit we don't care about getting shoved in it's the clitoral simulation like men they're like oh just putting a tampon

in no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no applicator what about you applicator I use none do you want to know why why I like to know that

I've got it as far up as like possible and I feel like applicators you never 100% I like to be like right it's going no further but then do you not lose the string

no I wash my hands after as well anyway you never wash your hands no I never I do after that but I never wash my hands ever

and I'm never ill am I ever ill have you got an immune system like that my immune system is through the roof because I am never ill because I eat things

off the floor if I drop them I don't ever really wash my hands and I'm never fucking ill so that's my advice to anyone out there don't ever offer to make dinner for me she can't cook she can't cook anyway

she'll be fine then right Lauren dilemma song please okay oh that was so assertive I liked that dilemma of the week dilemma of the week

hi ladies thanks hon thanks hon a subject or situation for discussion thank you are you alright you're so bad at reading out so the message we have here is from one of our and ashley's laughing because she just she can't

focus today um the message we have here is from one of our amazing gay guy listeners and here we go so this one is for the girls and the gays we have a lot of them and i absolutely love them so i've always felt so much more comfortable around women than men when it comes to friendship i understand why i get that i get that most of my friends are girls and my circle are close love that recently one of my friends has started dating this guy and has started acting weird i do this every time when i asked if something was the matter she told me her boyfriend was uncomfortable with her being so close to me okay oh no questioned why she uploaded a picture of us hugging on instagram and that he didn't want to stay over at my house fuck off stating her boy her boyfriend

thought it was weird she was sleeping over at another lad's it's your friend anyway i think this man's got a problem with himself it's yeah i'm really hurt that she's changed the behavior around me because i agree because a small dicked fella feels threatened by me being male despite me being a raging fruit have you ever had a boyfriend who's been jealous of your gay bbf never never my boyfriends actually love me having my gay friends as well because they can have like a different level of different level of charm absolutely yeah um i've never had a gay bbf i don't think i've had mates that are gay but not like that but as you know when we speak about this a lot i have actual straight male friends and james has actually just been to paris with me

my best straight friend and his girlfriend yeah we went as a couple so if someone can get through that and he is straight why the fuck are you bothered about in his own words a raging fruit why get rid of him and you know i'm annoyed at the girl for acting differently yeah she should straight away be like no no what i always do when i've said this before i have male friends gay or not gay when i meet somebody they are the boundaries they are my friends if there's a problem then let's find out right now because you are not exactly nothing's gonna change nothing's ever gonna change i'm not fucking them off for you yeah so do you know what she's been a bit out of order here i think do you ash yeah totally i think she should have put the boyfriend in the

place and the boyfriend has serious issues issues here this is a gay man he's not gonna shag your bird so he's either got a little issue around gays he doesn't understand it quite i don't know what he's a prick and my advice here is tell her that he's a prick let her make the choice and if she's a dick then bye bye it doesn't sound like there's any longevity in that relationship anyway i wouldn't worry she'll be back anyway because he'll he'll stop going out with a girlfriend soon yeah that'll be the next thing so yeah katie is going to read the next dilemma because i feel like you should understand that being a podcast superstar isn't actually isn't actually as easier sometimes you might think so i'm gonna get you to read this well let's go all right darlings

okay i have a situation which i need some advice on okay so me 23 and my boyfriend 26 they've been together for nearly eight years what that's way too long we've got dogs together and moved out last year wait till you've got kids but we moved back with our parents due to money okay okay yeah fair enough sensible me and my boyfriend have had ups and downs however but for the past year have been on and off he doesn't want the relationship and says he doesn't want to be with me bye then we chat about it and then we talk our issues out agree to actually resolve our problems etc but clearly we don't as he keeps feeling that way our relationship stands we have sex only when he wants to which is twice a month maybe who else is he not enough and but he'll have

their moments where he won't kiss me huffs when he don't get his own way doesn't get his own way um and but keeps sending mixed signals like not wanting to be with me trying with me etc he comes over every weekend and we see each other trying to make time for us to go on dates etc to try and keep the relationship alive he also even came to meet my dad for the first time i never even met for eight years well she'd never met her dad oh hang on

that's a separate issue he also even came to meet my dad for the first time I never even met him too wow it was a big thing and made future plans he went on a lads holiday

this weekend and came back and said he actually missed me guilt okay guilt guilt chlamydia

chlamydia and guilt oh god check your tablets and vitamins yeah I'd go get a pass yeah which should be standard so

way I stand is I can't keep dealing with the mixed signals and it's difficult just to pass if we was two as we got together

so young and he's my best friend as well as a partner what's your opinion have we changed too much where it's done or it's over

it's done it's done he doesn't want you let me tell you I will tell you exactly what's going on they're trying to force it aren't they

you're both trying to force it so this is what's going on here you met so you are now 23 you've been together for 8 years so you were 15 when you met you don't know any different I know this

because I had a boyfriend from 15 to 21 who is now my best friend not Sam another one and we're best friends he's just had a baby amazing

but I understand this so they got together young and it's very will you stop that my ADHD she's trying to open a Red Bull with a pen it's very rare

in all honesty that people that get together as teenagers stay together I think you grow hugely from about 21 to 30

like you grow so much that is when you find yourself that's when you find yourself and you've met at a certain age I think he doesn't want to be with you

but he's scared of being on his own don't take that as rejection because you probably don't want to be with him either and I think he's trying to hang on to it

a little bit here because he's scared he doesn't want to be on his own and I think the sex twice a month is probably because he feels he should

and that's why you're having sex tick tick yeah tick tick and then you're saying he has moments where he won't kiss me

he huffs and that's because deep down he knows it's not right I've been in a relationship like this where deep deep down I knew we weren't

right for each other and I knew I didn't love him how I should it's like ripping a plaster off yeah and I got in a mood with him time i was a bitch i was aggy because deep down i was thinking i don't want to be with you but i

felt like i had to be and that's what this looks like to me so i think you need to put the sooner the better the sooner the better this is going to kill you because i will tell you i don't know your name but i'll tell you what will happen if you don't stop this now you're going to get dragged through the million your confidence is going to get lowered and lowered because you're going to start to believe that you're not right yeah and you're being rejected let this continue and you are going to get fucked up in the head because he's going to drag you through this you know you're young and these are like the prime years yeah you need to be out there and finding mr right i said 100 people change and at the end of the day you know it's very unusual that you're with

one person i agree i agree so also you don't want to be and i think he's kind of same bit for life i think he's kind of trying but i think you both know and i think one of you needs to get the fucking balls and if it's not going to be him which it won't because men let me tell you what will happen and i will mark my words he'll meet another girl he will meet another girl yeah he will make sure that things are good with the other girl he will fuck you off and jump ship because men yeah in general need a backup yeah do you know what someone told me that sometimes yeah men need a backup men don't just leave you they leave you because they've met someone else because they need the backup so you are going to get fucking hurt here girl so i would suggest that

you end this right now it's gonna hurt it's gonna be hard but you're a young girl you are 23 like you've not sampled half the dick that you're gonna yeah yeah you've not had half the heart You've got another five heartbreaks in you yet before you settle down. This is life. No, it's over, darling. Did you say you've got a dog? Oh, Katie's worried about the fucking dog.

Has she got a dog? Katie hates dogs. She's got dogs. Oh, leave the dogs at your mum's. Yeah, no, give the dogs to the guy. You don't need them. And also, it's nice that you live with your mum so she can help you through the breakup.

Yeah, it's over, darling. It's done. Sorry. It ain't over, but the writing's on the wall. It's fine. Who knows who that is? You should. I thought you liked that kind of music.

Natasha Bedingfield. Plan B. okay we have got another voice note coming up this one's from jem lucas says that we're fine to say your name so if not take it up with him jem hi girls i just wanted to send a voice note to say that i absolutely love both of you and i love the podcast love you so there's a couple of things i thought i need to share this i feel like we're best friends we all need to tell you so just being um i go it's like this health nice health spa kind of like david lloyd vibe but it's like the one in hale but it's in warrington so anyway i've had my meal and then i'm sat opposite

the kids play area and i'm thinking is there any other adult that's ever considered getting into that kids play area after a glass of wine is it socially acceptable to do this and i kept like smiling at the kids waiting for them to be like come in come in and i thought oh my god i look like a right sex offender but anyway and then also how good is this so my my sister-in-law has just told me that her friend's mum well her friend's mum died oh and in her will she left her holiday home to both of her kids but her husband who was having an affair thought that it was left in his name so 10 years later when he's now gone to sell the villa that they've got abroad he actually isn't gonna get a penny of it yes because she changed the villa

over into her kid's name i was like what a woman like completely right for being a cheating piece of shit and then 10 years later she's just not even said anything just left just left him to find out like 10 years later that actually he's getting absolutely fuck all for the villa and the kids are just how does this link to watching children in the program i hope you're both okay and you're having a nice saturday night ashley you were off instagram and i went into meltdown mode i was talking to my friend earlier and i was saying about the um the fertility vitamins and stuff and i was like oh i'll send it to you like do you do you follow ashley on instagram talking about both of you like you're my best friends like do you follow them um anyway so i was like

where the hell is she she's gone but i don't give her any more ammunition not that i'm shocking you or anything but like happy days i can't wait to hear the pod next week oh what a lovely girl I love her. You need her on the show. I really don't understand the bit at the beginning, Jen, where you're sat at a Thelis and instead of looking at the fucking fit men that are in there. Do you know who?

I can't say fit men anymore. Instead of doing that, you're sat near the playground wondering if you can go in the play area. See, this is why we absolutely love your voice notes. We love hearing from you. I really enjoyed listening to her then. I felt like she was our mate. So listen, send them in.

You can DM us as you already know. Ashley is on Instagram for now and me and Katie. you can find us at nip tuck pod you can email us as well if you prefer hello at nip tuck pod.com but as you know we love the whatsapp so please send us voice notes your itchy dilemmas just like that one we've just heard from jem just anything like that send across to us we can make them anonymous should you want so if you look at the description of this episode you will see where to send your info to that's it really we're saying bye-bye to katie oh have you enjoyed it katie I've loved it

I've got one last question yeah I have it's the same one isn't it yeah you go first you say half I'll say half can you

get your arsehole tightened using femme if you're a man or a woman

is that a serious question yes you two are sick in the head so no okay then bye bye

bye ladies