Nip Tuck - Bonus Babes: Hairy Toes & Friend or Foes

Episode Date: May 12, 2023

It's Bonus time and the girls are welcomed by a voice note from a very proud owner of a DDD (Clue: The first D stands for Dingle). One waxing Virgin tells their story of the nightmare they experienced at the salon and the girls help tackle your issues with friends and besties who are no longer pulling their weight.To get involved with the show, you can send us a DM on Instagram and TikTok, find us @niptuckpod.Or you can email [e-mail] can also send us your beauty questions, icks & dilemma's via WhatsApp! You can text or voice note the girls on [phone] Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

hello hello hello you're here again i don't know why and you're still here and you're still here welcome to nip tuck not giving a this is a bonus this is a bonus this is the podcast where we celebrate being positive aspirational women this is all about being unapologetically yourself on nip tuck we want you to get your voice heard you can email us at hello at nip tuck pod.com you can send us your icks and dilemmas via whatsapp you can send voice notes and we will always be anonymous we will always be anonymous you can always be anonymous simply head to this episode's description for more information on that but we want to know what's getting on your tips what's giving you the what's giving you the ick your beauty questions your beauty advice just

any other bits anything you want to share your bargain boozers anything that you want to share with our community say what you want to us because we don't give a one we don't give a you say you say i'll say one two three oh okay go um can i just say regarding the email never ever send it off your work email address because i got absolutely fucked for doing that once i actually got sacked for gross because i was sending a really dodgy email to someone else i shouldn't have been sending the email to and something had gone wrong with my computer so i rang it and let it take over the screen of my computer and they saw the email then they hacked into my work emails and i got called

into the manager's office and she had all the emails printed up and yeah imagine imagine your boss listen reading your slitty susan yeah careful and i got pulled in and then um i got put under investigation for um emails like for two weeks so i had to go off with real stress you know i was really um and luckily um ed's hr person really fucking helped me out and was like you're fucked here oh my god and they managed to sort it for you i was working on my three month notice they were being quite twatty actually it was when i was moving to another job but they did manage to get out of paying my commission from it so don't use your emails guys it was an expensive mistake okay so for the first thing i believe we've got a voice note now lucas has described it as

you'll get it it's got to be to do with dick dingle dangle dongle oh my god please if you ever read this out please keep this anonymous but i have a dingle and i can confirm men do love it they're obsessed with it apparently it's something to do with when it's all tucked in they can't actually find it so they'd rather

a dingle dangle dongle say no oh because they can't find it who knew that was the weirdest point oh I love that

she sounds very happy with being a dingle dangle dongle she's furrowed to bits with her dingle dangle dongle she said they need to find it

so they can suck it so I think she's got a dingle dangle clitty yeah yeah that must be what it is everything must be dangling because she said

otherwise they can't find it if it's tucked in which is true because it's a minefield I would have thought I watched a TikTok the other day I'd rather suck a man

than lick a woman because I think a man giving a blowjob is much more straightforward than yeah absolutely and this lady Lucas

Lucas you've done both I have which would you say is easier as in like straight on man 100% it's gotta be the man it's just a shit you know

you just do that on a man and that's it what do you think yeah but if they've got an absolute goliath then it's hard what am I doing right okay

I had one I could only fit his bell into my mouth oh my god and then how are you meant to do the rest i mean we've got so we've got two hands for and two feet was it girthy i've got a picture show us we've seen it i've shown you it's the biggest thing i've ever seen we got sent a dick pic oh my god we did ash you got one and then we got on the nip tuck page i and this is i'm gonna say something horrific now it was no lauren stop it because now we're gonna get sent loads of fucking no i'm just saying the actual penis i I mean, it's disgusting, the message and everything, but it wasn't an un-aesthetically pleasing penis.

But do you know what was un-aesthetic? Fucking furniture in the background. It was like student furniture. It was student furniture. It was like this table. So on TikTok, I watched this TikTok, and this woman had her hemorrhoids pierced. What? Moving on.

Wow. Right. Please keep me anonymous. hey girls and lucas love you all and love the pod okay i've got an embarrassing story for you for a bit of context i'm nearly 30 i'm married and i've got two young children both born virginally virginally there was a room full of doctors when i gave birth to my first baby as he was born with forceps so needless to say i now have no dignity no you don't after you've had a baby i could not give less shits about stripping down below for my smears etc etc the story that i wanted to tell you

is from when i was around 19 so i was very naive and i had only ever had one boyfriend and had never been very experimental with sex definitely like no anal all of that jazz side note i still have never had anal my husband would love to but the thought of it makes me squirm you're in the same boat as me girl slide into my d but dear lucas said slide into his dms he'll give me some tips anyway my boyfriend and i were going on holiday so i decided to get my first ever bikini wax at 19 i bought to hollywood as i used to shave at the time so i wanted to be completely hairless so a hollywood you know from your fanny waxing days so i've got some i could tell you some stories so i think i have probably seen a thousand vaginas i used to do that was my main

thing um i used to do hollywood waxes so bumhole like labor like everything so hollywood means all off okay so i'm gonna ask you some questions i'm gonna ask you some questions after this um so anyway she wanted to be completely hairless well i did guess i didn't realize what she meant by completely hairless once the therapist had finished watching my vagina i went to sit up to get dressed however you can only imagine my horror when she asked me to turn onto my side and pull my ass cheeks apart when i felt the warm wax go onto my arsehole i nearly shit myself literally i was absolutely morto but it was too late and the damage was done i left feeling embarrassed but my boyfriend thought it was hilarious i now stick to trimming myself down there as i'm too mentally

scarred to go back for a wax but i can't deal with the shaving rash do you have any tips for keeping well groomed right so yeah i do have tips laser hair removal yeah but she's saying she can't do that again why because she's saying she's mentally scarred that somebody it being in a ring oh yeah and they make you pull your cheeks apart in laser you need to have laser it is incredible and just get over it mate you've had forceps you've had doctors in the room you probably pooed your pants when you had the baby just get over it these girls that do our laser they've probably seen thousands of funnies today and fannies no one gives a shit about your dingle dangle and your bum hole just get it done and actually i think it's quite an important area

to treat shaving rash is an absolute nightmare i've got fair skin and i'm quite sensitive and even like you know like these bikinis they rub and on that area i don't get shaving rash i never have really i suffer with it really really like the ingrown hairs and the lumps and it's like that chicken skin yeah laser it's so good it's so good but it doesn't fully work on some people with certain hair types what i would say is that um i tried out i saw actually on olivia ratwood posted it that estrid razor yeah is it any different there is something i can't explain it it's got like five five razor heads and a tiny bit of condition it's a very very very good razor i just i do you know if i ever shave i use men's razors because they're so sharp i mean it's like a men's

razor yeah they're so sharp but and i always do my bum hole oh you must shave your bum you cannot leave a hairy ring piece head on the razor yeah there's also you need to squat this uh stuff and it's ingrown hair i got it off look fantastic and it's called like doctor hair or something and you put it on your skin after you shave them because like i said mine's bad and the only unfortunate side of that was that it took all my fake tan off because it must have been so then i mean who tans their arsehole no you tan your vagina just like a quick sweep yeah yeah exactly um do you shave your bottom hole yes yeah yeah um but what i would say as well is supposedly if you're you are meant to exfoliate is it before or after you shave it really it's to stop the

hairs getting trapped but the reason the reason that um ingrown hair uh gel and stuff works what it is is it's an exfol so what it's got in it's like what we put on our face it's got like ahas it's got that kind of thing so it does it takes away the dead skin which then stops the ameliorate yes it stops you from block the follicle from being blocked therefore the hair can come through it doesn't give you the rash that's how it happens um by the way i need to give you but i've found a very good similar to ameliorate but the texture is actually really really a lot more moisturizing because i don't feel like it's it's not a beauty cream and it works but i wouldn't say i feel thick yeah can i just say we were de-influencing um the bum bum cream shite shite makes your skin

dry it's full of chemicals it's really thin the smell's good yeah and then you feel tacky and dirty after when you got it on. I tried it, what's it called? And you all know what we mean, the bum bum cream, the Brazilian bum bum cream. And it's in a yellow thing. Hopefully we're never going to get sponsored by them now. No, it's absolutely shit. I spent a lot of money on it and it does smell good but when I put it on it felt thin, it didn't feel very moisturising.

I felt sticky after. Yeah, like dirty. Didn't like it. No, I don't like that. I like to feel really nourished once I've put it on. The Wellader Skin Food Body Cream. I like it to soak in but I like to feel nourished. Where were we? The hairs, I think. Get laser hair if you can, darling.

and yeah what do you think about pubic hair no for me so no for me but um my friend i know friends that like pubes like a brazilian and that kind of thing you do you do men like pubes i think maybe about the gay men think of pubes lucas as in what we yeah just like trimmed trimmed yeah i know some people that completely remove it i think no as in like as in bake well that dicks that we got sent have no pubes I like James just trimmed just nice and short

and trimmed I don't like when they've razored it I don't like it when they've razored it off and it is

chicken skin bald I think it's disgusting yeah no and I feel like the friction against a shaved vagina

and a shaved penis it makes you get red and sore I'm not I'm not adverse to a bush

I'm fine with a bit of a bush how do men shave their balls carefully with a razor with like a

manscaper no just like you know a razor a razor oh and just very careful have you ever

cut your balls does it hurt yes oh I've cut my butthole before yeah on my fucking razor on your razor

I beat my arsehole do you yeah never really thought of that I've not used hair removal cream for years do you know what

is a natural thing right when you first meet someone do you shave your toes I don't need to I've got no hair

i've got hairy toes right at what point do you stop i've stopped shaving my toes at what point do you get to the point in relationship where you think i no longer need to shave my toes yeah i would say never in your life mate shave your fucking toes you scruff mate i shave my big toes do you i haven't got hairy toes she's showing us ash tweeze them for so long and you've got sock fluff everyone thinks you're so pristine you've got big hairy gorilla toes i need to shave my toes there was that that sighting of bigfoot in um yeah it's actually the big hairy feet oh do you go to the pedicure lady with that yeah i need she must think she must think you're a tramp yeah i know um but yeah shave your toes as well girls what about

you've got hairy fingers as well you scruff yeah i haven't got hairy toes at all my friends got hairy toes we were in a meeting the other day me and my sister and when we walked out she went oh my god when you were sat there talking you had a really long hair coming off your face and i just wanted to get it and then i was like we'll fucking get it so we were sat under a light for ages and now she can't find the hair so the hair's still on my face but you said that i look really hairy the other day yeah you fit what we were doing we were having a meeting we're having a skype and then when we'd finish i was like i think it's all um because i had like hair loss i took loads of supplements for that and it they must because they have made my hair grow so they must have

made my hair grow everyone dm in ashley yeah but they'll give you a fucking mustache and a hairy toe i've never had a tash but i've got no hair anyway anyway anyway anyway next one hi lovelies love the pod and all your amazing recommendations i would love to get my upper blephs done and after hearing both of your experience i've been doing some research i have however seen the treatment computer oh that was on the influence i would love to hear your thoughts on this has recently started my own little skin business in lockdown and it's really starting to grow no don't do shit like that leave that to the professionals i currently offer all different types of facials but i was looking into this as i thought it could be something i could provide i've never had surgery

before so i'm really anxious about going under so i thought it might be a great alternative for me and my clients also i'm pretty skin and this would be a good way for me to afford the treatment though so you can buy these basically i'll talk to you about what plasma pen is it's like a needle that you put on top of a device and it shocks you and it burns the skin burns a hole so the in essence what it's meant to do is it's meant to go and it's meant to make like a grid yeah but in reality it actually burns you you are left with marks you are left with texture you are left with unevenness you then have to wear a very high spf on that area because it's scarred it's delicate it's painful for the client it's highly unlikely that it works people saying that why would you want to

scar your eyes your lips your face is one of the most visible areas why you would want to scar that area i do i've seen it on top lips and your top lip is so so delicate fragile and delicate to pigmentation that you would end up with a mustache pigmentation if you're not careful it's meant to make a hole and then as that heals it then heals closer so it makes it tight if it worked everyone to be fucking getting it done it doesn't work it actually is worse for you in leaves burns yeah and i know you want to save up but if you start offering treatments to your clients that aren't great then your life is done and your business is done so don't just offer something without researching it because you do one bad treatment or one thing and that's everything fucked for you

easy yeah easy and also she said she's scared of like going under and stuff i've got more chance of having an accident in the car on the way to your operation my first stop i was awake not for me that it was not for me not for me blephs yeah really good quickest operation recovery wise i think for our age i think very very good really brightens you and a lot of people need it and i notice it on everyone that needs it yeah just don't get an infection or anything yeah i got horrific infection but that was my own fault because i touched it with some scissors okay anyway oh girls i really need your help i've heard ashley touch on the fact about how she's had painful periods before i've started experiencing really painful cramps how do you

guys relieve them because i can't not live like this i've been curled up on the sofa for a day and a half now and i can't cope i love the pod and you two get the best advice i don't get them i hate it lauren always what do you say every time i say light period a couple of days don't particularly even where i wear a tampon um don't get i get a light slight dull ache in my back and that's it i i don't i'm not affected by periods so i'm really sorry i can't help i am um maybe it's a bit of like endometriosis that i've got or something yeah yeah i've got a lot of scar tissue in that area because i've had two c-sections and i've had numerous operations um for cyst removal and stuff like that so i think there's maybe something going on in there and my friends that

struggle with endo really suffer it must be horrible so there are some things now this is meant to be absolutely amazing methanemic acid or something it's called and a few of my friends have started taking it and it's an anti-inflammatory that is treat that treats menstrual wow okay so just google acid that treats unbearable period pain and you can buy it for 20 quid i'll spell it to you m-e-f-e-n-a-m-i-c acid my friends that have started taking this have said it's actually life-changing there you go now with me um i've not tried that so i can't say but like i said my friends have i know before my period no alcohol if i've been on a big night out and i come on my period i'm telling you now yeah i'm run down i'm in a bad place i might get a cold sore like i want

to eat shit and then i wallow in depression and self-pity for days so i try and avoid like going out on heavy nights alcohol up your water consumption also when i went to the doctor about it they said don't just take pain relief when the pain hits you keep it topped up like when a little when your child's ill they tell you to alternate it through the day is it that kind of thing like also paracetamol and profen ibuprofen so he actually said to me start taking the pain relief even like two days before your period because ibuprofen is also an anti-inflammatory so it's not just the pain thing it reduces the inflammation which therefore makes it better also there's this amazing that i've heard device have you seen it no so it's called my uv period

pain relief device and it's like um is it ems or something ah so it gives you that like pulsation and it's like when you give birth and you can get those yeah yeah yeah yeah it's a tens machine but for your you stick it on the front of your of your vagina no like there where you get the period like your lower um that's worth researching yeah and they're meant to be really really good so that is some tips but also if it actually is debilitating and you're feeling like you can't do anything please go to the doctor and check have some endo and once endo gets out of control it's bad a doctor wants it i get really interested in all of this stuff and when i worked at hospital worked with a guy that specialized in endo and i spoke to him about it and i was like but what is

endometriosis and he said his worst case when he opens someone up it's literally just like your insides are like jam and that's what they have to remove they have to burn the jam out so like your um it can merge to your bowel yes to your bladder it's scar tissue isn't it yeah and it's like he said it's like jam so it's one of the hardest operations to do because how do you remove all of that without damaging your organs wow must be awful right we're going on a break we need a moment and then we're going to be back fresh ready with your dilemmas welcome back are you a loyal listener of nip talk do you wait with bated breath every Wednesday and Friday for our new releases do you laugh and cry with us if so you need to tell your nearest

and dearest if there is anybody that you haven't told about us you must tell them you must do it now you must do it now spread the love spread the podcast so you can share this episode on whatsapp with anybody that you haven't already if you already have do it again and then we'll love you forever do it now and ever and ever and ever and ever right dilemma who's reading you or me who's reading it hi girls please keep me anonymous and thank you for reading this out I love the pad and all that jazz so keep it short I don't want to go on very long but I've been with my boyfriend for coming up to three years I'm happy but he's got a very intense job and he works lots of hours of course I do what I can to occupy myself in my own time gym shopping

all of those good things now a few weeks ago my friend invited me around to her house and we were having a little catch-up. She turned to me and asked me if I am genuinely happy. I reply with yes and she said she thinks I'm lonely in my relationship and that I always seem to be on my own and going round to her house late at night whilst her boyfriend and her are chilling. I'm always spending time by myself and she said that relationships should not be like that. I didn't really know what to say back. Yes, my boyfriend is distant in terms of calling me and seeing me throughout the day but he makes up his time with me when he can recently he even booked a surprise holiday which we he took me on and we had the best time however i couldn't help but feel that

she wasn't happy and didn't want to make much of an effort of asking me how i was etc i feel that she doesn't actually want him to me to be with him fyi he gets along really well with my family and i see him most evenings however he does work late what do you girls think i think your friend's a bit jealous i think um i think stay in your own lane like whatever works for you whatever works for you have a have a minute and have a think about it and if this doesn't bother you then i don't see it being a problem this is like me and lauren right lauren and james ring each other 10 million times a day and i think and i don't think it's because it's you i think we will always be like that and like lauren said like they're sitting on the sofa

together and i ed and me could probably go different yeah without speaking but it's what works for you i am and you would never say that to me never never ever me and james are clingy people that's how we are and that's and you two we're not we're very affectionate we're like courtney and fucking travis um but that's just how your relationship is i think the main thing is if you are happy projecting she's projecting but what does we don't know now we could speak to the friend ash and the friend could say yeah yeah she's saying that but she's not told you the full story she's always on her own she's never coming around to mine every night and she doesn't seem happy he never makes an effort with her yeah he took her on that holiday because blah blah blah

we don't know her side so i think we just don't live together either after three years still and i just think like friend wise also your friends do tend to know you quite well and sometimes like in the past i've pretended i'm fine when really i'm not and your friends looking at you thinking yeah so i think personally you need to have just a quick think about this yourself are you happy about this is he doing everything you can are you happy with how your relationship is if you enjoy being by yourself a lot and then seeing him when you can i do yeah that's fine i wouldn't like that i'm codependent but if you're not like that then fine if you're happy then fucking ignore like when ed says he's going away with work you get you look yeah you think a bit

of time to myself yeah well fair enough i can just eat rye vita for dinner yeah and just not bother yeah listen we've all got our different relationships if you're happy with it keep it as it is and tell her that you don't need her to say that again right we've got another one and another one hi ashley lauren and lucas just wanted to say i love the pod and you guys are my saviors at the moment so basically for a bit of a backstory i had my little boy a year ago and from them my friends have kind of dwindled away don't get me wrong they're still kind of there but we can go for weeks maybe months on end without contact and it became a routine if i didn't ask to see them no one would ever ask me so i gave up some days i'm absolutely fine don't

even think about it as we all know you know kids keep you busy and then some days i get really down about it as i think everyone has got a best friend or a group of friends and i really don't have that shit so just wondered of what your thoughts are or am i going to be billy no mates for life as you guys are kind of my friends now i've resorted to listen to the pod from the beginning ashley's 30 weeks pregnant and lauren's just had me pissing about going on the a1 with a metal detector oh god that time of my life wouldn't want to go back there so first of all this is what nip tuck has turned into and we don't really know when we started it what it was meant to be but this is what it has become it has kind of become a lifestyle it's become a community of

people where we can be your friends and one of the things actually ash i think there's a lot of people in this similar situation and we keep toying with this and i don't know how we're going to do it but i think we need to create some form of because there could be other people listening to the pod some ideas we have that are also feeling like they haven't got many friends either and we could be connecting women here and men with people that could help them out i would say you sound like a lovely girl and you've actually kept it so like classy you've not like been passive-aggressive you're not pulled anyone up on it like you know you've not left the group chat or anything like that but you've tried and they must be in different moments of their life

this is what i think i'd start maybe going to like a local yoga baby group pilates or a baby group or hanging out you know at starbucks in the morning when you know everyone she's not hanging at starbucks looking for mates actually we're not having to do that it's like going to the hospital looking for men she's not going to do that don't go to starbucks and hang around waiting for friends oh come on lucas no he agrees she's not going to starbucks waiting for hi will you be my friend we're not having you do that pilates yeah clubs and classes i think i hate baby groups but i think if you you need people that are in your phase of life or you're gonna you're not gonna like so i've got so many friends that i you know don't speak to all the time because we're in

totally different we've got friends that are not interested in having kids like yeah and they're at a different point and i can't do what they're doing because we're at different parts i do dip in and out i dip in and out yeah same so i would suggest um we've got a long list of people we need to catch up with we've been rubbish we've should i just have everyone around to mine soon one night and then we can like get it all off yeah that's a good idea um but yeah i would say go if you're looking what you're wanting to create some friendships create friendships with people that are in a similar place to you right now which at the minute is having a child a few of my and me and you hated the idea of it but have used that app called peanut and it's where you meet

mum friends i'm never gonna do that my london friends use it disgusting no honestly peanut it's meant to be really really no i agree it could be good for her because she has a lot of like it's like a little community on there where it's like this is the baby class and then like if you're not got ideas about schools or no it's like yeah it's meant to be really really good um but yeah i think you need to start finding some friends that are more in your level and where you're at and also maintain it i know you're panicking about it right now hun um it sounds like it's that how old's the little boy he's only one he'll as soon as he joins nursery or school you will like you'll get yourself organically fall into having your mum friends with kids of

the same age that you know on a summer's evening you can meet at your friend's house you can sit outside and have a natter and a glass of wine and watch the kids play in the garden it's gonna happen at first when you first have a child and rightly so your life is about imposter syndrome your life becomes about being such and such as mummy and unfortunately it does at first because you need to keep this little fucker alive and that's how it works once you get to grips with that you can then become you again and naturally as ash says you will maybe go back to your old friend you'll have time for nights out you'll have time again right now is a tough time i think the first couple of years when you have a baby and then after that you um you know become yourself

again mature you mature and then you become you with a baby as opposed to just you before or such and such as mummy you can be you but with a child anyway sending love and kisses and all that love and hugs and i'm glad we can help you remember on nip tuck we want you to get your voices heard you can email us at hello at niptalkpod.com you can get in touch via whatsapp voice notes texts emails all that jazz we absolutely love it don't worry if you prefer to remain anonymous we will not reveal who you are just head over to this episode's description for more information we've got instagram we're on spotify we're on apple give us a five-star review we're everywhere share us and we will see you

sharing is caring and we will see you on Wednesday lots of love have a lovely weekend goodbye