Nip Tuck - Bonus Babes: It's Christmas Time & Baby Time!

Episode Date: December 22, 2023

What a year it's been! We cannot thank all our listeners enough. What a community we have become. We've had brunches, live streamed shows, some incredible guests... Oh and Lauren's amazing magazine interview on what she has for breakfast.As you all should hopefully know by now, Ashley has now had her baby, a beautiful little girl. So this will be the last episode of 2023.We will be back very soon. Have an amazing Christmas and New Years! XxTo sign up for Patreon for full video episodes every week and more exclusive content, click this link: https://patreon.com/niptuckpodTo get involved with the show, you can send us a DM on Instagram and TikTok, find us @niptuckpod.Or you can email [e-mail] can also send us your beauty questions, dilemma's and Slutty Susan confessionals via WhatsApp! You can text or voice note the girls on [phone] Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

hi guys welcome to nip tuck not giving a fuck this is the bonus this is christmas this is christmas baby can you please send us in like your favorite bits of 2023 with nip tuck yeah we love that can we make it a thing hashtag nip tuck 2023 this is your last oh my god that was the worst hashtag you've ever ever made lucas has left the room and i feel really like we can do what we want naughty you look cute in that hat to be fair do i i'm just tinseled up red is your color not mine red is more my color yeah i think you are black loved those pictures you got the other day at sexy fish did you was it with your light no it was naomi's camera what the canon i don't know which one it is but i'm gonna get it can you send it me it's maybe did we have it because

we had one yeah you got yours i got mine stolen is it the same one is it that one because mine kind of mark g but my my pictures did not look like that so she's messed with the settings she'll do it for me yeah i'll find out um they're all stunning some of them look a little too airbrushed for me up close but the rest of them really good like so like the camera brings it out airbrushed i don't know they're just nice they just look they just look good have you seen the ones of me and james i'll show you really nice yeah yeah really nice anyway gorgeous gorgeous girls gorgeous girls listen to her so here you are right guys it's christmas get a fucking glass of wine get a glass of fizz baileys go and get a baileys go and get a tray of fountains and shove them in

your gob anything goes anything goes baby don't go back to your ex though because that's like a time that people go back well i mean i did it worked out okay yeah but go back to him then if you are so guys welcome we've got a really good episode for you today so sit yourself down sit wherever you are the car the gym don't sit down if you're in the gym no wherever you are enjoy okay so we want you to get your voice heard most importantly you can email us hello at nip tuck pod you can send us your ics your dilemmas anything you want to chat to us about any questions any stories any hacks voice notes voice notes sexy stories confessions oh my god anything you want to get off your chest i've seen something coming up and i'm dead okay right basically we

don't give a fuck and we want to hear from you hi girls i had to send this in months ago i never thought anything of this but after listening to the pod i was shocked to discover in my work toilets a lucasade bottle no lucasade in but water and no lid one of my colleagues must be having a good time tonight so we spoke about the douche yep lucasade for anal so you put water in a lucasade bottle and squeeze it up your bottom and it's an on the go no i've actually never done that and it's an on the go douche i've never done anything arse related um so this lady's basically now realize i'm gonna lick your ass tonight remember that she's realized yeah um yeah she's someone in her office has been getting having anal at night here we go here we go this

is the big one oh stop what you're doing guys and we've actually seen um a shwayne shminica guys like he's out he's at winter wonderland we're dead if you've seen wait if you've seen wayne or shmeen anywhere please like isn't a beefer we were out of season yeah we were taking because do you remember years ago in like heat and closer magazine that section would be like spotted and we basically were saying that people have started getting what do they do in the winter because in the summer they're in a beef like what do they do in the winter and someone they i'll tell you what they do they go to winter wonderland of course they do that's where all the girls are and they go to Sheesh

they go to Sheesh a lot don't they so here we have so please keep sending us your spotted shmeen and they don't know about them

they don't they don't have a clue scrolling through Facebook and see a post on my town's local group advertising a charity football match I saw that

someone said at the local recreational ground skate park the reccy ground and so I'm scrolling through to see who's going to be playing loads of Love Island people

and there he is good old shmeen that's my answer that's my answer she's going to be watching the match now i love that i love that oh god i love shmeen and wayne guys listen to this story time i broke into my boyfriend's house and found his secret phone we've just both twitched i was in a really toxic relationship for about four years we lived together and we always argued

and fought about everything and anything all the time fuck it was very on and off for the last year i always had suspicions that he was talking to or seeing other girls behind my back girl you just know the last time we split i moved back home and one night about a week later i found his spare key in my drawer so picked up my friend and we went oh we'd done this before friend with previous ex boyfriends so you could call us pros at this point we got into the house we started nosing around which i think he's breaking and entering we got to the bedroom and found his iphone an iphone i have never seen before it didn't have a password on so i started snooping and i found what i expected the usual messages to other girls using an old instagram of his text whatsapps to other

girls you name it was there but to my surprise there was also grinder cash app and whatsapp messages to men snapchat he groups he was in one of them was called the forget faggots i won't go into the gory details of what else i found on there and i can laugh about it now but it turns my stomach i walked out the house like a corpse but not before taking a thousand pounds out the cupboard for the inconvenience stealing stealing all this time later he has no idea and i know he lives a double life with his now partner p.s i still wonder to this day where he hid the secret phone the messages went back as far as near the beginning of our relationship any ideas on where man the closest hides his phone from his girlfriend shit right this is just so terrifying

and it just proves that you never know you never know you never know so he had a full-on secret phone and he was gay bisexual whatever tendencies tendencies um do you know what though i feel like and it happened to one of my friends she hacked into her boyfriend a serious boyfriend if you feeling the need to hack into something then there's a reason he was talking to men on there that for me would be like i'm fully nail in the coffin like we're like it's you just it's the double life thing and you know what actually i know we don't like him for doing this but it's actually quite sad for him oh no listen that's what i'm saying like yeah like be true to yourself that he can't be true to himself why are you like living a weird double life if you

gay be gay like i feel like for him having a secret phone like that's not no that mustn't be a nice feeling and the seediness of the cash app and the grinder yeah he's not all right but it's not your problem now either and he's a grand down as well but to be fair it would cost a thousand pounds in in therapy to get over that what have you ever done anything like boyfriend wise like when me and ed split up um i stole his louis vuitton holder oh i like that that's a good one because i said to him i have nothing to put my belongings in so i stole his louis vuitton holder and put all my stuff in it and then when we got back together he was like this is the only reason why i got and he uses it every day now to put his gym stuff i wanted the backpack

And he was like, yay, got my bag back. I'm not, I don't know. I'm not very. Steely. I do have someone's birth certificate. We need to be careful. We're like condoning it. We're not condoning.

Guys, like it's all very lighthearted. We're not condoning stealing. I've got someone's birth certificate. So if you're an ex of mine and you're looking. Oh, it's not. It's fine. It's fine. So if you're an ex of mine and you're looking for your birth certificate, I've got it.

i think the police have got better things do you know why because there's nothing more annoying than when you really need your birth certificate for something you have to order a new one a lot of our listeners have sent like passporty things in and yeah that's like naughty that's naughty that it's naughty and think of like other another girl that sent one in didn't she saying that she'd taken his sky remote i quite like that one just irritating yeah like take it take something like his sky card or the sky remote or like change some passwords or cut some cables yeah just irritating lucas is like yeah just things that are irritating let's think of like the most like inconvenient irritating like hide keys but legal but legal constantly taking out

if i wanted to annoy someone everyone has a pound coin that they need for the trolley don't they in the car i'll just keep taking things like that and then they got there and they couldn't find is there anything more annoying than when you go to the supermarket and you've not got your pound coin yeah you're right um but hiding keys oh yes important things important things what else could you hide in the key to the electricity meter would be annoying wouldn't it just yeah just irritating like cutting holes in random tops or that would be annoying just stuff that for years later is going to annoy him yeah and you'd be like that bitch that bitch yeah i think that's a really really subscribing to emails that type of thing anyway guys right i don't know what we're

doing what are we doing so we've done a little section here where i'm going to talk about christmas games oh my god that's so interesting no it actually is i know i love a christmas game i'm a sad and i think because you're gonna be stuck in the house not stuck willingly in the house games are christmas is for family and also it's fucking expensive i agree so like guys get these games they're on amazon um so you can get them all like pretty much the next day but if you've got like you know if you're doing usually you'd go out for the day as girls save your money i agree and i think if you do family stuff with a game involved it stops awkward silences as well if you've got like a family that's a little bit fractions here and

there and it's not great then this can just take away the um uncomfortable feeling when you've all eaten your christmas dinner you sat around in silence so these were the top rated ones double my favorite's not on there what's yours articulate these are like newy newy uh newy ones dusting off my articulate double double yeah monopoly go is meant to be amazing what's the difference between monopoly it's cards okay so you don't have to get the big board out right but everyone's loving monopoly game do people still play uno yes people love uno i used to love yeah pass the pigs pass the pigs what's that really good one kids like pass the pig okay and aren't the like you have to throw the pigs the two little pigs yeah lauren and ashley you have to throw them

and they go in different ways. What? Get past the pigs. You'll really like past the pigs. Cards Against Humanity. You only do that with people that you're comfortable with because that can get ruined.

That's an adult one, guys. It's an adult. What do you mean? Oh my God, I bought that last year. Is it really good? You need to buy it. It's the best drinking gate ever. Have you got it?

Did I tell you about my Cards Against Humanity last year situation? No. So on Boxing Day, we always get my dad's side of the family all together and my cousin, i don't know how he didn't know bought his child probably about 12 the disney version of cards against humanity okay is it not it is not for kids oh really we sat there and my 96 year old

grandma was sat next to me and there were kids and we played a couple rounds and they were like we need to put this away oh and me and my brother were just like crying i love can you tell us guys any over christmas after we don't mind if it's just after send us like is anything mortifyingly embarrassing happened on christmas day like grandma's farted or like something really like awkward and you're just like oh just something where you're like oh because christmas is the time for really embarrassing family this tinsel is itchy embarrassing family shit um yes so get the what do you mean okay i'm gonna get it's really good we're going to james's mom and my mom and um all of the kids we're all going to james's mum so that'll be like a party playing sounds

fishy what's that i don't know what it is but it got it got like the best reviews i think it's maybe where you have to like guess a lie or something okay uh yeah yeah this one is a new game that everyone's raving about it's called do you really know your family oh that sounds fun and it's also very dangerous but supposedly it's family it's like the have you ever with the drinking that is dangerous this one is new as well a christmas karen the boys are obsessed with calling me karen all the time if i say get boys put your washing in the wash they go soz karen like i'm just karen in the house the best kids ones as well a lotto have you got that for the year we have not got anything i'll be honest babe saskia is obsessed with playing lotto my mum got

um poo bingo no like this lotto like they just fucking love it okay i'm gonna do some ordering tonight you've inspired me um snap and then the reindeer hoops that's quite funny they love the you know what i you've taught me right into some games and i've never i've never thought about it i'm gonna get some games guys and i just think it's so nice to like bond yes yeah i love that let's do that right so we go from one thing to another dilemmas we are we are we're gonna give you a break and then we're gonna go through some dilemmas and just try and help people out at this time of festive cheer okay we'll be back soon guys are you a loyal listener of nip tuck do you set your alarm on a wednesday and a friday ready to hear us chat shite if you do share the love

share the word spread the podcast and get in touch with us as well really you can go on instagram and it tells you on there what to do i feel like i'm slipping right welcome back okay i've got i've got some big hold your horses oh light your fag back the river get ready right for some classics okay we only usually do one or two dilemmas but i've got three here so i need you okay in the room i'm in the room right hi girls love you both how do i tell or do i tell my child wait let me read it ready for a social clip okay wow are you ready let's go girls love you both do i tell my friend that her child is overweight so my best friend has a seven-year-old we've been friends for years our kids have grown up together

i promise i'm not being horrible here it's all out of love but her daughter is very overweight it's not just puppy fat she's my friend is not a big girl herself and her eating habits are really good but for some reason she feeds her daughter with shite snacks crisps chocolate she is a single mum to be fair to her and she does do her best in many other ways but now people in our circle have really started mentioning her daughter's size and that it's so unhealthy and people are talking about it behind her back do i say something obviously it's so sensitive and i don't want to offend her but i'm actually really worried about her little girl and i'd feel too faced to not say anything right after three one two three don't say anything

no go on tell your bit don't even go there don't even go there it's not parenting you know what now i'm thinking about it couldn't be ours parenting is just so risky and we love our children and it is all tell them when they're fat now clearly not um i personally wouldn't say anything if she comes to you my one of my pieces advice for people is don't give advice unless you ask for it and this is something my mum's always said with me she said i'll never give you opinion on what you're doing unless you ask for it if the friend comes to you and says i feel like such and such i feel like your mum would tell you if theo was getting fat i don't think she would um i just think if she comes to you and mentions something around it then absolutely you can steer it in the

right way and you can give the right advice but you it is too risky do not tell her let the kid be fat wouldn't you hope that the kids gp would say something yeah that's what i'm thinking but clearly at the minute no one said anything because the child's still fat you do you see quite a lot of fat kids you know the problem is it's the unhealthy side of it at that age was i the other day and there was some very like would you tell me if there was fat no no i wouldn't tell you so i don't think you tell her i think you just hope for the best and it's it's it's a subject that i would just not mothering and parenting unless i'm asked i ain't giving you my advice right there you go sweetie we wouldn't think right okay next one do you want me to read it lauren

or do you want to read you read it yeah again let's yeah go for it let's see what we think of this girls help me oh my god this is bad so my best friend has just had her teeth done and they look awful like horrendous oh no in capital letters everyone is talking about it there's screenshots flying around group chats they just look like joke teeth she seems really really happy with them but honestly they look so so bad what the fuck do i do feel like a bad friend by not protecting her and she's single too so the last thing she needs is bad bloody teeth she's so lovely too help what do i do right after three tell her or not tell her one two three don't tell her what are you gonna do now she's happy that's all that matters if she's happy she's happy like

what are you going she can't take them off she probably can't afford to take them off and go again if she's happy then fine i don't think you're going to be able to tell her on this one like i'm interested to see what people think about this would you tell her if she asked my opinion and said do you think my teeth are nice i might say they're a bit bigger than i expected or something but if i'm not asked i ain't saying you tell me i would say they're quite big like when i saw your ass yeah you did do that actually it's okay yeah but when she first came in she was like what do you think i was like it's bigger um but yeah i think if you ask then yeah but again it goes back to don't give an opinion unless you're asked she's happy if she wants to

get around with her horse teeth then nay i think it's really mean that people are sending pictures around it happens we all do it come on let's just you feel very protective of your friend though yeah you would but it'll die down soon the teeth won't but everyone will just get used to it and it'll just be oh my gosh if this happens to me when i get mine done right we've got another one okay you ready i'm ready hi girls i'm obsessed with the podcast you legit make my life so i need help my friend has started seeing a walking red flag i know a few of his exes and they all have bad stories to say about him my eyes started twitching he's known as a con man so i did a little company house check and it does not look good lauren

right then right what do we have here then little google search oh we've got it's not looking good just just as i thought fag just as i thought ah it's another con man anyway so a friend's done a due diligence and it's not looking good due diligence and it's not looking good he's told her he's got lots of money and i think that's made him one but it's not true he's just got her an lv bag but i can tell it's fake also his ex said she used to get fake presents off him all the time she came to sell them when they split and found out that they were fake i think this is very dangerous if he's

making a fake lifestyle what else is he lying about oh shit okay on this occasion after three tell him tell her or not tell her one two three tell her tell her oh actually tell her oh you can't keep swapping to what i say no no no no no no no no no no no i think tell her but not from her oh because she really has got her friend's best interest she has you can tell you can tell the way in which this message has been written there is not one ounce of hater in this message she gives a fuck about her friend so they need each other yeah more than ever at this time and i feel like this man is a narcissist screaming i have met men like this yeah oh so many i've got a story for you story time after this um but i would say maybe send an anonymous

i tell her listen if you were seeing some right so my friend's been seeing someone recently i have stalked him out i've looked right down to the bottom of his instagram and i told her i was gonna do that i was like hey i had a little stalk down did you know that he used to do this because that's what you do for your friends like you're just having a little help and i think there's nothing wrong with saying i had a bit of a funny feeling someone told me that he's a bit weird so i went on company house do you know all this well i'd tell her i'd tell her everything and i'd tell up to you but let me present you with the information and your bag's fake which is fine if you know it's fake no why not if you know the bag's fake oh my god should we oh my god how

embarrassed would you be going about with it and she thinks the bag is this is the thing if she wants to get a fake bag that is on her yeah like we've all bought we've all done yeah no shade the issue is she doesn't know and he's selling her the dream but also like what she said at the end that's really scary if he can buy stuff like that's actually any man i've ever met that talks about money a lot doesn't have any no and meant like james hates money talk and i agree i think if you're talking about money and showing off and trying to give a certain brag brag about a certain lifestyle and when they post everything on instagram if you're doing that then deep down you feel like you need to prove something to somebody and this man is insecure the worry with

that is is what does that also lead to coercive behavior emotionally abusing people um controlling what she wears i see this going a certain way yes so i think she needs to tell her and if she doesn't listen then fine you've done your bit sit back and watch and be there with the kleenex when she's crying so um one of my really close friends um was engaged to someone and um he i know this he got her a do i say the full he bought her a tiffany ring and it came in the tiffany box no like we're laughing it's actually fucking horrendous this isn't it and um he proposed and she was like oh my god and he told everyone everyone was like oh my god wow and they got engaged and then he made a very big point of the box yeah yeah um and then when they split up

he was like give me the fucking ring back to her and she was like oh my god all he wants is the ring back like really weird we all knew she was gonna give the ring back because she's not that type of person and i was just like this is a bit like off why is he caring about this ring so much like the watch the ring yeah like they had like all kinds of shit together and the one thing he was my the ringer for was the ring so we were like girl go check that out go get the ring checked out and the ring was supposedly worth 40 000 pounds and she went to get the ring checked out and at least she could laugh at herself the ring was worth about 1800 quid and it had just been put in the box like oh no wonder he wanted it but the thing is this is with the kind of guy that

brags about everything and then she was really happy wasn't she lauren because she was like oh my god i've got the yeah and then you've got the ick and once you've got the ick everything's how scary is that that people like that's why you can't go for people for money yeah only honestly i know we laugh and we joke about all rinsing them and stuff like that but genuinely if you go on to have an honest guy yes if you go for a man for money and you are like taken in by the money side of it and how cringe and then it's not real and that isn't him and you don't even like him like yes it's great if someone can look after you but honestly i would rather be with a good man than someone who flaunts all the money you've got and isn't so just be careful what you're going for

friends that have got like partners and husbands and i just i always think the money clouded them in the first place they wouldn't have ended up with one life to live and they're such nice lovely stunning girls i'm like you've got one life to live babe just money's not everything like go and have fun i mean it helps but like it does but it's not it doesn't replace it helps but it doesn't replace really deep though so those were some good ass die lovers yeah they were really good yeah i like those if you've got an opinion on them yeah please tell us if you've got a dilemma please tell us or any dilemma similar that you could help us with guys happy christmas should we sing what which one i don't want i was thinking more um

uh what's the the feliz navidad you know that one oh what jingle bells should we do jingle bells jingle bells jingle bells jingle all the way oh what fun it is to ride on a one-horse open sleigh hey so yeah go and have fun have an amazing christmas and remember what christmas is for wine and presents and presents and chocolate and baileys no it's for family guys when you listen to this that belly that i can see right now will well we'll see the thing will be out of it the baby will be here we will know the baby name safe and sound yeah very safe and sound i am sure we will have a baby name are you going to announce the name are you just going to post the picture of the baby with the name what we don't know yeah okay should we have fun with it let's make some

fake news yeah so we're gonna have a baby which is very exciting but it means that we're gonna need to take a little wee break it won't be long like a week or a few it won't be a long break but we're gonna have a little break and when we're back we're gonna have birth stories we're gonna have a new baby a new baby name we're gonna be a new year it's gonna be amazing amazing we've got so much planned for next year as well haven't we like it's like we've got loads going on we want to do loads more with you there's just loads of shit going on yes it's a big year next year and we're excited to do it with you honestly like everyone that has listened everyone that's told their friends everyone that's left a review we cannot thank you enough and honestly we you know

we can't do this without you guys spreading the word we don't have a big name behind us we don't have we don't have a marketing budget like we've not been on i'm a celebrity or any none of that we've literally done it all for us and lucas but we have had to like say quite we've had to do we've sacrificed we've said some embarrassing things to get yeah none of them were true either so yeah anyway we love you loads the best christmas the best new year and we're gonna and if you see me out over christmas don't speak to her don't speak to me because i'll be absolutely off my don't ask for a picture because she'll be steaming drunk and if i saw you in sexy fish again i'm sorry and i'm like um we love you very much bye girls and boys have a lovely christmas