Nip Tuck - Bonus Babes: The Gender Reveal!

Episode Date: June 30, 2023

Today's the big day where Ashley reveals to Lauren, Lucas and all of you, the gender of her baby.Plus the girls share their beauty hacks and hear your stories ranging from issues with the biggest d***, to a pencil d***To sign up for Patreon for more exclusive content and full video episodes, click this link: https://patreon.com/niptuckpodTo get involved with the show, you can send us a DM on Instagram and TikTok, find us @niptuckpod.Or you can email [e-mail] can also send us your beauty questions, icks & dilemma's via WhatsApp! You can text or voice note the girls on [phone] Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

hi guys and welcome to nip tuck not giving a fuck this is the bonus baby bonus baby and it's the big bonus it's the gender reveal bonus you know we love a gender reveal a baby shower a pregnancy announcement in this balloon next to me patreons will see um is the gender she's been trying to put it up to the light and i can see the colors i'm sure i can do you know what i'm concerned there's a mixture of colors in there and you're getting both it's not twins is it no okay anyway we're gonna find out what it is but this is the thing uh this is the podcast where we celebrate being positive aspirational oh you sounded so aspirational right there you get the balloons out of your in your face ash i can't take you seriously you look ridiculous literally coming

out your arse um and it's about being unapologetically this is ridiculous so we've got these balloons and she's got them that close to her that they're like in her face she's like hiding behind them now they look like they're coming out of your bottom so you know how we love supporting a little local business yes always always and i think actually she's not like she's like country wide but um she's not just a little girly she's big time we get um balloons from this lady a lot because i love a balloon and it's i like a balloon house of hooray cheshire she's so good and always really reliable on time and she always thinks like you tell her what kind of thing you want and she gives you the ideas which they're so good i need that in my life because i'm not very

creative we'll give her a tag on and yeah today she's done this for us so we're very grateful so Does she know what it is? Yes, because I had to tell her. Okay. So it's just, who knows what it is? Just you and Ed? Yeah, you don't know what it is and Lukey doesn't know what it is.

Well, I know that, but I just wonder who did. But you've made it very clear what you want it to be. That's really naughty, that, Lauren. Look. You shouldn't do things like that. What am I going to do if it's ever mine? That's really mean. I saw you put that on Instagram at the weekend

saying that if it was a boy, Thea... She said that. Thea said I only put what she said and what she said is I said should we get rid of these toys and she went

no mummy because we could save it if we have another baby and I went oh yeah that's true and then off her own back she said unless it's a boy

and then we need to put it in the bin and I went yes the toys and she went no the baby that's what I didn't say it and I keep saying to her

darling you can't choose what you want you get what's given we're not rich enough let's say to choose what you want I said you just get what you're given

so you can't ask me for a baby sister because it's illegal in this country um so i can't give you that so if you want another baby you have to accept it might be a boy she just doesn't get it so i'm sorry don't blame me have a read of louisa zussman's maybe baby blog and it's about how to try for a baby girl but at the end of the day i feel like when you're trying for a baby you just want you just be grateful to get the baby 100 do you know like when you get i feel like you just get to the point where like i just want the

baby yeah yeah either way well you've got one of each though haven't you yeah so it doesn't really matter but you don't want to i can't imagine you being a boy mom i'm not a boy mom so that's it even though you don't think you're girly i think you actually are really girly do you think yeah i don't think i am i'm very mummy girly actually more mummy more i'm more mummy girly than i thought i'd be anyway i'm not what i'm doing is not what i'm not doing is standing watching football in the rain that's all in a big way in a big coat and then posting things like sorry let's stop i don't need the fit dads i've got the fit dad i'm shagging the fit dad lucas has just said what about the fit dads like i've got the fit dad also dads don't do anything with the kids do they

downstairs fuck off right anyway here we are on nip tuck we want you to get your voice heard so we want to hear everything from you everything that's like susan this week blew my mind i can't wait to tell james that one fantastic that love it and that's the kind of shit we want that we want the real nitty gritty but we also want your hacks we want your product we want what's giving you the ick what's getting on your tits we're a community we want to help each other out so if you found that something really worked for you like the lady the other week that told us about the period um tablet she was taking for her period hormones like that kind of thing amazing let's all share these kind of things together so you can email us hello our exes i'm like yeah if you want

to talk about that hello at nip tuck pod.com i've got a reminder of my ex's sperm every day fucking hell theodory shorey um every day i'm reminded of my ex's sperm at six in the morning ah you twat um anyway we don't give a fuck so whatever just send what you want Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Right. We've got a listener message. By the way, everyone that's watching us on Patreon. We need to stay.

It's actually called Patreon, but we don't want to call it that. I left my jumper off. You always wear black. You wear the same clothes anyway. What are you wearing today, Lauren? A white T-shirt. It looks like a really good quality white T-shirt. ASOS.

ASOS, whatever. Their stuff's been shite recently. Depends what you get. This is actually nice. It's quite thick and it's oversized. It doesn't. Is it a men's one? No, it's oversized women

and I actually tend to wear it. I really like it tucked into flared jeans with a heel or I'll wear it. Today, I'm wearing a little bit of a roadman outfit. I had my Prada, like, I don't even know what you'd call it. Co-ord. Co-ord on.

Tracksuit co-ord. Yeah, now I've got the shorts and a tee. Just a... And as usual, I've got a Skims dress on. Ash, you've got a black Skims dress. I went to Selfridges yesterday. Went to a Trafford centre. It was disgusting.

Disgusting. I went into Zara. The people or the shops? Both. I went into Zara because I actually, I don't want to buy the sale. I just want to go in

and shop in Zara. It was like ants crawling, picking things out and people have never seen millions of them. I fucking love a sale but I can't do it in person.

I don't even love a sale because I don't believe them a lot of the time. That one that I sent you yesterday. That was a good sale. We're going to give you a little heads up. We were going to say this

on our dupes hacks but we've got loads. House of Fraser, I never ever think to look on that and there was a Beckham Bridge dress that I wanted. So I was Googling it and it came up on there in the sale and I was like, hmm, okay, I'll have a look.

Argent Provocateur bikini bottoms, four pounds. What the fuck? There was, I bought the- It makes you wonder how much they make. That's what I always think. I think, what's your bloody profit on these? I bought the Argent Provocateur. I've wanted their robe for years

and it's like a silk, what's it called? Smoking jacket. Smoking jacket. like Hugh Hefner wears yes and I got that and it was like 60% off

it's ridiculous that they had Lukey's perfume on there the Abercrombie & Fitch one for £11 can't go wrong can you so yeah House of Fraser sale

there you go but it was full of it was just like ants crawling so then I went to Selfridges went to Skims and I got myself a Skims dress

it's £91 they're fantastic it's a lot of money for a little piece I get 20% off imagine how much money she's making could have saved you

20 quid imagine next time but I feel like you need to try them one because i was saying on my instagram i tried like um you know the the body the the bodies that she does small was tight whereas the dress was extra extra small so i feel like you have to try it on in shop and then go and buy it online maybe um supposedly harrods has got a massive skim section so i'm in london soon and i'm gonna go in but i think feel like i've got it all my bra

i got a medium and my nipples fall out i need a large bra the triangle my nipples literally just hang out at the triangle one doesn't suit me the every fits everyone one maybe i'll try that and you've seen yeah i've worn it i've worn it yeah yeah yeah i've got loads of them along with your ysl shoes i've stretched you can have them did it didn't i give you them no but i'll take them yeah you can have thank you if anyone wants to buy some ysl go on my depot um okay right we've got a list of morning girls and lucas i was in the gym this morning doing a class and the instructor who was keeping us all motivated and he kept shouting

come on picture me giggling like a school girl at the back as I'm reliving the come on you bastard and now I am convinced

that it was my gym instructor slapping that girl's arse can anyone let us know was it a gym instructor that's funny also so Lucas is our producer

and he sometimes knows things that we don't he checks the emails he does things and we don't always know what's going on he likes to put little games with us

don't we we're his little puppets so I have got here it's face down so i've not been able to read it and he said it's something that he wants me to read out that we've got in okay go on it's a form and complaint isn't it about our behavior i'm fucking nervous it's from dear school isn't it all right let's go hi i feel really uncomfortable quick message of thanks oh it's good good start my girlfriend and then she's told he's said her name and her email address ask the question on your last show she said your advice has helped

to realise how much I mean to her and she's going to help me save up for the £15,000 required for penis reduction surgery. It's the man with the UK's biggest cock. One correction. It sounds like you were looking at the pictures of a different guy.

He's called Joe, who appeared on the documentary. I would never go out wearing a grey tracksuit and no underwear unless I wanted to get arrested. Oh, he's got a banter as well. He's a huge python.

um i tried to be as modest as oh my god oh my god lucas i need to see this i tried to be as modest as possible for my part of the documentary while they made me wear a stupid swimsuit i was only having i was only shown after having been in freezing cold water for several minutes because i wanted to demonstrate that even with shrinkage it's still a big problem and then we've got the website now for us to actually look at his penis show me oh it's going to take me a minute just Pause, Lucas, a sec. Oh, he's got it. Lucas is way ahead of us.

He's burst into the room. So this is him. Oh, he looks in... Oh, my God. Let's see. And that's after... Give us a... Ashley, that's after he'd been in the water,

freezing cold water for several minutes, and it shrinks, doesn't it? Yeah, I know all about that. Yeah. It's a whopper. It's half down to his knee. It's down to his knee, basically. So that's his penis,

because he said he would never go out wearing grey trackies with that kind of penis. anyway while a lot of other guys did exaggerate to promote their only fans right so they a lot of people did it for that i actually do work in a normal corporate job the same way a girl with big boobs shouldn't be forced down a particular career path i don't think my size should stop me living a normal life i agree if i he's funny if i wrap it around my thigh and tape it down the bulge is manageable he's funny um from your show it sounds like you realize the importance of being open

and taboo topics and telling it like it is I went on my massive cock to do the same thing because between porn and boys chatting shit there's a lot of misinformation about

their size that is damaging to everyone I feel like I owe you for helping to save my relationship aww so if you have any questions or want me to do an interview

let me know I think it'd make for an interesting podcast absolutely let's get you on can you come to the next brunch what he's not a he's not a fucking bear in a cage

he's not like a sideshow comedy act like a circus and here we are he comes out swinging his cock he went on a program called my big cock he's not coming to the brunch to swing his cock around but I wouldn't mind

getting him on Skype to ask him some questions about his penis I think that's really interesting yeah I'd like that Matt and how does the reduction work yeah let's ask him Lucas 15 grand poor guy I know fuck's sake yeah but then no it's only like having shit and no boobs women have to do this all the time

we don't have to but we choose women with small boobs if they want bigger ones they have to pay shit loads of kids you have to get you feel like you have to do things don't you and fanny and belly

it's about time a man paid for something anyway no but not you we're really sorry that that's happened to you I'm sorry that we've got such a huge massive cock he seems sound

yeah we're going to get you on that and thank you and I'm glad we saved your relationship do you know we are we do more good than we realise mate we sit here we have a laugh

give a bit of advice and we change lives I would say some would say that we should be knighted what's a woman knight maybe the queen will invite us to that afternoon t-shirt.

She's dead. Okay. Who's after her then? Fat Fingers. Sorry, King Charles. King Charles. Yeah. So, okay.

If I wanted a knight, but I'm a woman, what would I be? What would I be knight-est? Lucas, do you know? A lady. A lady of the manor. Right, but thank you, Matt.

Really appreciate that. Right, Ash, go on, your turn. It's about time you did something here. Go on. Hello, babes and luscious Lucas. absolutely love your pod i'm one of your oh geez love that girl currently on day three sat in hospital waiting for surgery to have my gallbladder removed and your pod is keeping me sane although laughing with a swollen gallbladder is an idea this is why i read anyway i'm messaging because

there is a woman opposite me who has had her husband visit every day he's very attentive and affectionate but she constantly pushes him away yesterday she even told him to go home well last night my mum took me for a ride in a wheelchair around the hospital to get me some fresh air and we passed this woman sitting on a bench snogging the face off another guy no wonder she's getting rid of him when i got back to my bed she'd smuggled this random guy not her husband onto the ward and they were absolutely all over each other couldn't keep their hands off until he got kicked out it's now the next day i'm keeping a close eye on the situation visiting hours have started her husband has turned up and all she keeps doing is staring

at me because she knows that i know anyway i just wanted to share my hospital drama as this is as exciting as life gets right now love you all and welcome to the three kids club ashley right wowzer that is hilarious i bet nurses see all sorts of shit do you think but are her husbands that shows that being too nice is not great for your relationship no i'm joking but being do you know like sometimes when someone's so nice they suffocate you have you ever had that i only think that works if you're not in love with them no i think that like if you love them then they could be the most suffocating person well you don't care because you love them or no they could be i just think it depends who it is personally

because i've been suffocating for because i didn't really like them i didn't want them in my grill no whereas i would climb into james even like with friends even with friends if they like ring or text me to suffocating yeah no it's not me and i always find it very suspicious like what do you want what do you want yeah do you know what i mean well maybe i'm a bit weird right lucas has got a story from weekend and can he i don't know it can you come on a mic please because people keep getting really upset that they can't hear you here he is welcome lucas take a seat hello everyone's I'm really keen on hearing a bit more of Lukey Wookey. Everyone on Patreon, this is Lukey.

Hi, how are you doing? What are you wearing today? Well, it's All Saints, obviously. Oh, of course it fucking is. If anyone can get their All Saints staff discount, Lucas will be... Oh, yeah, yeah. If anyone can get a discount,

I'm just saying, please help our little Lucas out. All Skims. Well, I did. You know, I've dated two guys that... And did you do it for the... No, of course not. Of course you did. But it certainly helped.

So if anyone's got a discount for All Saints, It's not being hauled out for All Saints Discount. All right, then don't. Yeah, I mean, you say that now. Right, when I come to you with the code and you don't fucking want it. Time's hard. Right. So, have you heard of something called Orlistat?

No. So, Orlistat is like a tablet you can get where it's for losing weight. And it basically, I don't know how... Is it the oil one? Yes. We've taken it before. That makes you shit oil out of your mouth. Yeah.

We have oil. Both of us do. Pure oil comes out your ass. It's Friday. and your bum hole's all mixed so friday um we had this like party at my mate's for his like belated birthday can i move this balloon it's really annoying his daughter was like his um his daughter was like oh this sounds good she's a pt okay and uh she was like okay well um i'll try it and she took one and she's

like a few hours later oh it hasn't really worked so she takes a second one no the next morning she was like well that never happened so she takes a third she's a pt she goes to the gym she's got a client shat herself when she did a squat shat herself so my mate was like driving me home and she rings up she's like dad i need you to come bring some clothes i've shit myself in the gym and jenna like a brunch straight after we were mates and so she'd done a squat and it had oiled out of her ass oh my god so this thing like really tight leggings like gym leggings my mum once had a pt and the pt was one of our mates as it had one of my mates as it happens so it was fine really sound guy and his pt in it and as she did a kettlebell swing which is where you squat and

swing between your legs she let out the biggest fart and she literally went and and he was like and she was like she said she was like what can i do and then after that he just never let it rest like whenever he did anything anyone got any funny shit themselves stories we love a shit i don't know if we want to go back into the whole world i know we went a bit deep with the pit i like that to be apparently really good for weight loss but then there's also side effects so yeah i just want to tell that thank you lucas um can i just do a quick little um tale about a zen pic as well some things come out that supposedly and again i'm not a doctor or anything like that i always say that please remember i'm just someone that reads the daily mail um it says that if you so

a lot of girls our age are taking a zen pic aren't they i considered it and a lot of girls our age are also at some point going to be having babies yeah potentially and a zen pic supposedly causes birth defects really just bear that in mind oh there's a link somewhere if you're thinking about um starting to try if you don't know what a zen pic is it's a kind of craze at the minute isn't it and i think a lot of the housewives of somewhere in a different country is it beverly hills used it um and it suppresses your appetite gives you a feeling of what they call satiety you've seen what it's done to erica jane no she's not our erica jane really so what it does is it makes you not hungry so you don't eat i've never done it i've never done it i considered it because everyone

was doing i thought you know i could do a couple pounds and then fuck it i'll do it and then i thought you know what apparently it makes you feel really sick causes hair loss as well yeah and the people that i've seen actually look skinny and not great skinny rather than when you lose weight naturally and go to the gym and you keep your collagen to a degree and you're lasting it's kind of like the weight's off you and everyone looks a lot older it's called a zempic face that's what everyone says yeah so to be honest i thought about it but i lasted for three days yeah to me anything that makes you feel sick i don't want to feel like that just to lose weight it was in covid when like you were just eating yeah and obviously there was no gym and i was

like fuck it i'm gonna try this skinny pen because everyone was yeah i remember and um i did it and it made me feel like you know in early pregnancy when you feel like see that's it that's the i can't do that i can't do that just to be slimmer i can't so i binned it um but yeah that's what it is if anyone was wondering yeah that is yeah maybe maybe maybe avoid that it's also really hard to get hold of and there's a lot of fakes so don't get it online because it won't be real you just don't know what you're doing a question can i just ask you is it an injection yeah it's the same as skinny pen so you go you do it and jab it like a like what they called when you have an allergic reaction yeah sorry sorry go on question i know you can't mention surgeons by name but

was wondering what you would recommend asking a consultation for a boob job whether it be the implants themselves technique i have no idea what to ask also do you ever worry about breast implant illness no my biggest worry thank you ladies if you're worried about that then don't do it because breast implant illness um do you know what i got really pissed off recently with an influencer who went on tiktok and everyone was sending it me this girl's got breast implant illness um she's getting her boobs taken out because she's got breast implant illness she's going like i've got brain fog i've got a rash so then she goes to go and get an explant and when she wakes up she goes and they just put some really tiny the smallest size implants back in so why have you

gone on about this breast implant illness to then have another set and also the smallest implant you can get is a one two five they're that big these tits are not one two fives and i'm like just stop breast implant illness you probably heard about it on tiktok and i get sent it all the time okay breast implant illness is correlated with depression yeah and if someone is out searching for a reason you will find it there are certain people um Yolanda Foster do you remember that when she had hers out yeah but then it turned out she had um Lyme's Lyme's disease why do all rich people get Lyme's disease Lyme's disease no I'm saying all this I don't actually know but I would say with breast implant illness I'm not saying it doesn't

exist because I don't know but we also don't know if it draws there's actually no proof there is one thing that is actually a thing so um there was these implants me and lauren have both had them at a point in our lives and they were called alagan naturals now they are actually linked to something called acl which is a very very low though no a blood cancer and unfortunately i personally know two people and one of them is terminally ill i know but i feel like you've bad luck in that i feel like the actual percentage is fucking low it is but what really pissed me off with that is that they didn't write to any of us that had the implants that's really fucking yeah um and i it freaked me out because i personally knew two people yeah i think that's why yeah i

think that's probably why it really freaked you out but like yeah that that that was really bad and then i spoke to a lot of surgeons and they said that that's true those implants were really bad they double encapsulated and stuff like that so I got them out that was why I got mine redone but basically it sounds like I don't think you should be getting your boobs done if you're worried about breast implant illness and you don't know what questions to ask yeah that's I've got to be honest that but let look never mind let's tell you so um the first thing you wonder you want to have let's do it really quickly you want to have more than one consultation I would say three um two at the you know minimum i would say three probably yeah you should you should research

more than that but you should pick three to go and see um i think you need to ask about the implants that they use what type of implants we've both got mentor no i've not got mentor anymore i have got motiva motiva yeah um i would work find out what they are write it all down then go and do your research on that type of implant i would work out asking what sizes he thinks would recommend for your body i say he yeah it could be she what size he she recommends for your body and what method they use most surgeons are going to use the same one small incision underneath dual plane which is half under the muscle half over pretty much but ask are you going to go under or over the muscle and why um i would ask the revision rate yes such a good

question the revision rate is how many percentage of people have to come back to have surgery again now that doesn't mean it's his fault necessarily could be encapsulation it could just be the things happen don't they so you would expect some but just check the figures usually an average of about three percent i thought it was three um but check check from person to person um i would ask what cover they have for you your revision policy so that means if some revision means something's not right it needs to be corrected what does that cover and what my main question is what does it not cover so it won't cover size change your mind on size no one is going to cover you for that no um i would ask where the hospital is in which they operate aftercare plan as well aftercare plan

um and i would ask would you ask about the anaesthetist potentially who's the anaesthetist i would always go under ga for um i would personally but i would find out is it a day case or an overnight stay so you know what you're planning um and can you think of anything else yeah i think don't just go online to look like straight away because it's really scary how surgeons can filter reviews online like really scary the facebook groups are amazing place to start your research and personal recommendations always great for especially if it's like your first straightforward op i think when you meet a surgeon that's right for you you do get a good feeling and you think you know what i want yeah and don't go for someone that can fit you in next

week yeah that's the other thing you want a little bit of a waiting list because you want to know that they're good and i would also ask how many they do a day because do you remember at my age they used to do nine sometimes a day which is i mean they only took 45 minutes but it's quite a lot that isn't it it's a lot of fucking it's a lot yeah yeah so i that kind of thing i would also ask best of luck go on then hi girls sorry a boring one today turn around right no you're boring no slutty susan here lauren i've seen you've have a couple of treatments done at skin address i've been having a stalk and see that they do detox and drain treatment that reduces bloating we've both had that done

she says have either of you had that done and what are your thoughts yeah so I go to Skinner Dress which is near me in Rottenstall

oh she's lovely in Rochdale it's Rottenstall I mean go to Rochdale if you want you won't fucking find it she does my peels she does my fillers

she does like she does everything she's amazing I absolutely love her and she's on my doorstep if you just search Rochdale beauty salons I mean do

do see where you fucking end up I'll send her nowhere not where I'm going we've both had detox and joint so yes she does do detox and joint as you talk about

you have it a lot more than me because i don't bloat that much but you do it's um you say you do i am a bloaty you are a bloaty girl like i am a bloaty bitch i get bloaty legs you know yeah that's good for the this is good i hold a lot of water in my like cankles yeah oh gosh it's it's hard being a woman so detox and drain is a type of manual lymphatic drainage it's really really good basically um i would recommend it if you've got like an event coming up if you want that immediate result i'd recommend it 24 48 hours before and drink loads of water straight after and then it flushes everything out or if you want to do it on like a more permanent basis i'd kind of go once a month for a treatment she was telling

me that she they've got some like wood stuff that does cellulite and stuff as well all this wood shit what therapy she said honestly she said i did one leg and not the other she said that one the leg that i did was like yeah tight sucked in the skin felt amazing she was like it was a different leg yeah so maybe just before you go on holiday i might get to do mine i'm gonna text her really good before you go on holiday because i'm a bit thingy about stuff like that sometimes i'm like you know that wood therapy one you know how you get like the your legs go a bit bumpy on the back it hurts it hurts but it comes right okay i'm gonna i'm gonna do it and i'll let you know i'll let you know i'll do it before i go away right this is a relatively new section but we

are fucking loving it we are bargain bucket bargain bucket bargain bucket here we go right let's make a bargain bucket song bargain bucket bargain bucket bargain bucket bargain wakey wakey bargain buckets right don't come closer actually come closer actually go back lauren tell us tips right first coming up with the tips tippy tippies you ready rehydration tablets girls boys if you're going on holiday if you're out drinking all fucking day those mojitos those margaritas the daiquiris and tequila you are not eating you are not drinking any kind of clear liquid that's called water you're going to be absolutely fucked you might be having the time of your life at the

time but the next day you're gonna wake up like it's the shakes for me and you can't i get the shakes and i go hot and cold rehydration sachets which ones do we did we have that we have some called revive there's another one do you know what dear um diarrhea ones what they call they are like they taste they taste like ass but all of them taste like ass but it just is what it is you can't have everything yeah and if you have it like throughout the day and just keep at it yeah i agree keep like compensate for the alcohol with it yeah everyone loves a hangover hack so if anyone's got any oh my god hangover hacks send them in to us because we love a hangover i don't know if i can say well i can't it's not illegal i um smoke a spliff when you wake up what no

i was gonna say i have a codeine it's not legal it's a medication it's a painkiller or solpidol has got codeine no solpidine the same thing two different brands yeah they're getting rid of Sulpidine, you can't buy it from by the counter soon. I'm going to have to meet someone around the corner for them again then. I'm going to have to go down the back of an alley to get them. Girl, stock up on your sulpidine. No, it's not illegal. Sulpidine is basically, it's got codeine in it, which is a painkiller.

It's like an... But it's a calm, codeine really calms you. So sulpidine and sulpidine have got a degree of it in. But I get really bad bladder infections, so I get codeine for that. And if you take one on a hangover, the anxiety that you might have felt, the anxiety leaves your body and you're just like, yeah. yeah and you remember yourself dancing on the table with your tits out you're not asked amazing okay um okay clean skin club what's this what is that basically i have been suffering with

i just turned my head away to show lauren i've got all these congestion around my chin because of hormones it's just shit isn't it and basically what i've been doing is instead of drying my face with a towel which is full of germs of course yeah especially if you live with little fucking children or men who wipe the balls on it honestly so there's these things and i know you'll say what you pay 18 quid for some tissues well yeah it's a box oh my god and it's like i think 60 tissues but they're like really thick and you dry your face and if you want more tips on how to fucking burn your money and you put your money outside satellite to it and shove it up your ass um and they've got no germs on and honestly like we shouldn't be if if you suffer with that kind of

bacteria like acne skin don't dry your face could we not think of a cheaper way of this could we say you have a specific towel i did used to use um i did used to use kitchen roll non-bleach kitchen okay i did use that but it doesn't look very pretty in your bathroom neither does acne but i mean what can you do you've got to do what you've got to do if you need to use that then that's what you need a hundred percent so that was a little okay no i like that i think i think the other thing i think pillowcases people forget about and makeup brushes if you're concealing a spot with a make with your makeup brush and then the next day your spot's nearly gone you get the conceit you get your same brush because you don't wash your brush every day and your phone and you get and

then you put some more concealer you are just spreading pure bacteria bacteria everywhere yeah so maybe even if it's just your concealer brush that you touch your spot with if you're not going to do every day think about these things it's the alcohol spray yeah um yeah so any you can get different kinds of brush cleaners can't you triple alcohol and you can order it off amazon perfect and it's like three quid for a liter just to get rid of it in a spray bottle and just spray it on um and that's really good but yeah so just really good point that now there's an instagram account and it's called tiny hearts education you need to follow it i know you think but it's basically about like if your child has any accident or anything happens it tells you what

to do and i saw one the other day i had to take saskia to a and e like about two years ago for something and when i was in there this woman came in and a child had eaten a battery and everyone was like fuck really like this little boy had been playing with i think the sky remote or something it can happen it just happens like i feel like with kids i would never judge anyone really because she wouldn't believe the shit that can happen with your kids you can't watch them 24 7 when i went on this instagram the other day it came up if your child does that with a battery put honey down its throat because it alkalizes the the battery wow okay like that like can everyone just give i know it sounds really saddo but like just for and then it had like has like pictures of like what to do

you burn and like no i think that's a good idea if i see one thing like that a day and then it comes around no i think you're right actually like that battery thing if that can save one person no i agree and i just remember thinking like if that lady had put some honey like it would be fine and it's such an easy thing yeah no i agree so we should know we should know things like this for kids because it happens exactly um and next week we will tell you some really good dupes sorry we got stuck on the tips there didn't we stuck on the tips right we will be back after the break with your dilemmas and a new man for all you single ladies out there are you a loyal listener of nip tuck do you set the alarm every wednesday and friday do you jump out of bed and press play

on your alexa do you absolutely love us well if you do share go on your whatsapp now tap those Three little buttons and press share. Now, I have got a dilemma. So welcome back, everyone. Hi, girls and Lucas. I am a loyal listener. And please keep up the good work. oh pat on the back so last weekend i finally met a bumble day after talking online for two weeks

things were great and we got on really well as he lives in newcastle he'd booked a hotel and we got on so well so i decided to keep him company at the hotel as you do yeah within our two-week messaging spree he'd actually exchanged a dick pic in which i was pleasantly surprised at the size in brackets on par with ecuador the only problem though was the girl oh is it skinny hon it's a fucking pepper oh bugger i know that i shouldn't be so shallow but i've been single for 10 years and i'm like is this the best of blood you get would this put you off a guy yeah sorry I want it all

I want that big dick the money and the personality and you can have it too bitch come with me sorry yeah

admit it Lauren nah nah see you wouldn't put me off she's been single for 10 years take what you're fucking giving take what you're giving love no right

so this is what I think But other areas balance it out. Yes, so this comes back to when we said about the guy with the huge, huge dick. And we were like, do you love him? I know you don't know that yet, but do you vibe off him? What I would do is this. I would let it go longer.

And if he's not the one in every other way... Does he buy you presents? Is he good at licking the vagina? Can you use a toy? Is he good at fingering? Because to be perfectly honest, now I might be wrong and I'm not speaking for everyone. It's nice to have a girthy dick, of course it is.

But at the same... oh my god i hope my mom never listens to this please don't make that into an audio clip don't make that into a clip add-ons yes i've spoken about it before i've spoken yeah right okay yeah so lucas has just popped up and he's told us that a friend of a friend of a friend knows something about and i've mentioned this before and one of my clients actually told me about this it's like a clear thing that goes over your penis and it makes it bigger but i don't feel like they'd get the same stimulation from that well they would at the tip if the tip was left poking out so it's like chicken fillets but for your dick yeah so you could do that but

my question would be this start seeing him for a bit longer and if you actually like him then you've been single for 10 years like if you like him and he's got a good potential then they don't let the penis put you off you can do all sorts of other things if you think he's all right then tell him he's got a tiny dick and run or just date other guys and decide yeah after a few months get a few it sounds like you're settling on this first one like babes go out yeah there might be more play the field but you might find someone with the perfect penis but the worst personality so and i would rather really like them and then have a little a penis than a huge penis with and not like them i personally write i don't know about you like i said it's nice to have a good one

but i actually prefer myself like when i if i do any form of self-enjoyment it doesn't involve any insertion inside me no we've talked about this yeah i insert nothing no and i think who does do that my some of my friends use an insertion i don't like a ramp yeah like um and i think like when the other things that i much prefer all the other stuff so i actually don't think it's that bigger deal the actual penis as long as you can feel it and you know it's in i don't think it matters that much chewing gum on a wig anyway let's move on hi girls hi girls and lucas i wanted to write in for advice i've had a baby nearly a year ago and my sex drive has not come oh god you're not the girl we had a guy message last week saying that his girlfriend's got no sex drive this

might be her anyway i had a baby nearly a year ago and now my sex drive has not come back at all it's actually non-existent and it's really put a strain on the relationship oh shit we've broken up a few times over it i used to try and force myself a few times but he could tell and it really made things worse i just don't enjoy it anymore have you got a bit of postnatal depression do you think go to the doctor so i think if you did have a good sex drive before and you haven't now do you know what i think people think sex drive oh it's just your sex drive no it's actually huge it's huge and it's huge in a relationship and it's also huge yourself like we're meant to we are there not just to but sex is part of life massive and i feel like if you're not enjoying

it and you're not wanting it or getting it is there yeah or getting it on both sides but yeah is there a reason the fact that it's linked into the baby could it be your hormones could you have a little bit of postnatal depression like that's forming itself in a way that you didn't perhaps are you on the wrong type of are you on the wrong contraception are you on antidepressants because one thing i would say to you is when i was on a certain type of antidepressant on a higher dose i had no sex drive i remember you used to say you used to have to like have a drink to sleep with certain people and then afterwards yeah because i don't i didn't want to i had no sex drive and that's what she sounds and it was the pill as well i was on microgyne on oh horrendous

and that took it from me so when i lowered the antidepressants and came off the microgyne and and notice that so i think this is quite serious and i don't think you should just go oh it's not a big deal and you know women make jokes and they go i don't even sleep with my boyfriend i never want sex and we kind of joke and make it like oh it's all right now but actually no it isn't you should be enjoying sex so i think you should go to the doctor and i think you should get your hormones checked i think you should look at if you have a little bit of depression i think with women when we don't want sex it's a lot to do with your mental is it your body do you feel uncomfortable with how you look now i think you should masturbate a little bit and see what you

like now what you don't get yourself going because with me if i stop having sex for a bit i kind of drop off the craving for it yeah whereas if i'm at it all the time yeah so i feel like you need to get that glow back so i feel like you need to do a bit of masturbating off you go off you go use our love honey code tuck 20 tuck 20 what a code tuck 20 right lonely i'm still lonely right we were gonna do lonely hearts but i'm sorry the guys are gonna have to wait they're gonna have to wait because we need to know whether it's a guy or a girl in a belly um have you got a penis in you are you have you got a double vagina right now or have you got a penis in you well how weird is that that you could have a penis in you you know if you have a son

sorry it alters your brain dna for the rest of your life that's why is that why boy mums are fucking cranks i'm not i'm not i'm not okay now remember on nip tuck we want you to get your voices heard we do you can email us hello at nip tuck pod.com you can whatsapp you can voice note you can do whatever the fuck you want like us and please give us that glowing five star rating and review on apple podcast or spotify wherever the hell you listen give us a share on socials tell us where you're listening who you're listening with we absolutely love that we love it and we will be back with no we're finding out what you're having we're doing it right now do you know what the funny thing is you know what it is and i don't so i feel like it should be me it's popped over

not you well you're popping the balloon am i gonna pop it on you yeah i feel like this is turning into a gangbang lucas has just walked in with alex and the way they've walked in is really weird it was like it's like your boyfriend goes i'm going to i'm going to introduce someone else to the bedroom it was really weird that you both just walked in um okay right lauren is gonna everyone on patreon can i need a wee do you want to go for yeah because i might Are we with excitement or sadness? So now we're going to reveal what's in her little... Oh, no, don't.

Lauren! What's in her... Let's start that again. Just stop, Lauren! Careful with... Lauren! Give me that, give me that, because it's too far out. You're going to fucking cut yourself.

Just come on, Lauren. It's a psycho. Right, don't pick that up till you need it. OK. Ooh! Okay. The main event. Let's find out. Is it a shmurl? Or a shmurl. Ash, what would you like it to be? I know what it is. Are you happy? Just say it!

Okay. 3, 2, 1. Yes! It's a girl! It's a girl! We have a girl! Wow, that was so scary. Oh my god. I'm so glad it's not a boy. Thanks for watching!