Nip Tuck - Bonus Babes: The Lie Detector

Episode Date: August 11, 2023

In todays juicy brucie bonus babes, Ashley & Lauren face some bizarre dilemmas and questions from you, our wonderful listeners.Would you take a lie detector test if your partner made some bold accusations?And how do you deal with a sister in law who is an absolute b****?The girls have got you covered. Enjoy!To sign up for Patreon for more exclusive content and full video episodes, click this link: https://patreon.com/niptuckpodTo get involved with the show, you can send us a DM on Instagram and TikTok, find us @niptuckpod.Or you can email [e-mail] can also send us your beauty questions, icks & dilemma's via WhatsApp! You can text or voice note the girls on [phone] Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

hi guys it's us it's your virtual besties it's me lauren and ashley i'm your mom hi guys this is i don't know welcome to neptuck not giving a fuck bonus this is a podcast where we celebrate being positive, aspirational, happy, lovely, funny women. And a bit... Fucking hell. Were you on the sauce this weekend? No, no, I've gone off the sauce.

I've got sauce, what's it called? Fear. Fear, sauce fear. After our thing. Just in general, I've got sauce fear. Do you know what? I got sauce fear when me and you watched that TikTok and it was about how when you black out,

it's the devil entering your body. Yeah, but I can't do it like I used to be able to when it's actually not giving me the fear. Do you know, like, I would think that I, like, I'm not missing the sauce because I get so much done. Yeah. Like, instead of sitting my fat ass down to watch TV. And being groggy.

With a glass of wine, I do it. But I'm still not doing anything. No. So. I just, it makes me, and if I have a glass of wine at lunch, like, we're going for lunch today, if I have a glass of wine. do you fall asleep I'll be really tired

and lethargic for the rest of the day yeah I know what you mean so why do it like I'm starting I think maybe like I'm starting to learn sauce is not good

sauce is no good sauce bad sauce fun but bad so now and again when it's worth it so listen to this this is how bad

I've become my friend's getting married as you know because we're not recording and you're furious but like next week she was like who gets married on a Monday

who does my friend so I'm going to this wedding and they were like do you want to stay over and I said no I'm not and do you know why

because I will stay up all night where is it the wedding it's only 20 minutes away so I'm getting a taxi home in Rochdale Town Hall

no I'm getting a taxi home at midnight because I was like I'm not staying because I will be up all night having shots

and I will be hung over the next day so I'm going home at 12 and I said to my mum on a Tuesday exactly then your whole week

is ruined I said to my mum yesterday I was like and anyway how pissed can someone get by midnight and she looked at me

like that's it she just looked at me i'm sure you'll give it a good go and that was that anyway sorry about that on nip talk we want you to get your voice heard you can email us at hello at nip tuck pod.com and you can send us your dilemmas anything you want to tell us you want to discuss with us you want to ask us anything you want to chat about send over on there it's always oh my god these are our last few episodes in this studio yes we're getting a new studio they've built a whole new studio for us

it's not for us but if you look now patreon people this blue oh my hair this blue will no longer be yeah i'm looking forward to that we've ridden it out i'm looking forward to it because i mean it's not it's not good for our skin tone is it but we try anyway yeah message us tell us your shirt because, basically, we don't give a fuck. All right, so today, with it being the boner... It's all about you. It's all about you. I mean, it's always all about me and Ashley,

but it's about you, right? Hi, ladies and Lucas. I don't have any slutty Susan stories or dilemmas to tell you. Oh. My email is just to say I absolutely love you guys. Oh! Who wrote this? Ashley.

My mum. Oh, Beth. All three of you. i'm not being cringy when i say you've literally changed how i live my life the way i treat people the way i allow people to treat me and most of all my sex life i've been with my husband for 18 years we've not done that for eight i know and we've been together since i was 16 we have two children together one 16 and one 11 and we couldn't be happier we've introduced different toys into our fun in the bedroom and it couldn't get any better

i've also been secretly wanking which i don't normally do and i love it i have the big plug-in microphone i need to get wow it's unreal love honey what's her discount love honey no no no i think it is i think it's took 20 is it i think so yeah um you can get it on there wow it's unreal can love honey can you send me a microphone wanky device please thank you but not when he asked me why i unplugged his charger anyway i could go on and tell you how much i adore you keep doing what you're doing being amazing inspirational cool as fuck women p.s i've got my sister and colleague listening to the pod and they love it pps thank you for normalizing dingle dangle dongles and ass graves thank you love you oh my god that's made me cry

that is that is lovely i'm not going to say a name because i don't know if she wants to be anonymous but thank you so much thank you thank you very the name's there thank you matey oh i've just trumped did you hear that it just came out um thank you so so so much i just pooped yeah i just trumped out a malteser um thank you that means a lot because we forget don't we sometimes how like yeah someone sent me one the other day and i was like oh yeah we like that we're here for you we are here for all but we couldn't do it without you either because you're kind of telling us yeah like we're so surprised people listen to this shit they're still going they're still listening now go on your turn hey i just wanted to message in and ask if anyone has

ever discussed a lie detector test sounds like something off jeremy fucking kyle i know but it's actually a massive thing with a certain breed of men wrongans so i've been with a guy for six years i know this because i know that breed of men and she's right that a lie detector is a thing they make women just they said as soon as she said a breed i thought i know what men you mean she put wrong guns yeah first of all i did one pretty much fuck off these men the vial it's the control i did one pretty much six months into the relationship at this point okay i should have ran anyway i didn't we went on to live together and raise a family for six years fast forward summer 2021 we had a stupid argument and all hell broke loose i left him and he made the most extreme

accusations oh that he always do absolutely because you couldn't have left them they can never comprehend that you've left them just because you don't want to be with them there has to be a standard drugs prostitution swinging all of which he decided to post on social media may i add lovely after 18 months of hell i took another lie detector test after which time we had tried two or three times to repair the relationship he had a new relationship for six months and had a one night stand and lied about it so a lot had gone on between this point where they'd both been here and there i still hadn't even managed to have a night out let alone meet someone else all of my friends think i'm mad for doing it but anyway i failed every question even though i

hadn't done a single thing that he'd accused me of so they're not really um 100 then are they i think it's what they call a blessing in disguise he is the ultimate definition of narcissist i want to know if it's actually a common thing with women because no one seems to talk about it but i'm pretty sure loads have done this lie detector test thing if not it's just me that's nuts enough to say yes to doing one right i don't know anyone that has asked for a lie detector test um it'd be really good we actually have discussed this getting a lie detector test in here and doing it on each other and seeing if it actually works if it works because obviously this woman here she's telling she wouldn't lie to us now because what with the point of messaging in she's saying

she did the lie if surely if you're panicking surely if lie detector tests work they do them like murderers and shit i agree um because the panic like if you panic your heart rate goes up so someone asked you to do one oh god yeah where do you go to do these things i don't know so what i will say is like she's just said i'm googling this dodgy men um certain type of wrong and well can you not get them to fucking do it back or do they refuse they're not doing it or they've probably paid a backhander yeah exactly this is what i mean you just can't i have heard it before That'd be a nice little earner, that. That'd be a lovely little earner.

Why don't we start a lie detector? And we'll just do it on purpose and fuck everyone's shit up. Yeah, if we don't like them. Yeah, they'll be like, do you love your partner? And we'll be like, oh, lying, lying, doesn't love you. Well, they do it on Love Island, don't they, with that heart rate thing? Yeah, so I think it's that your heart rate goes up when you're lying. But I feel like if you're panicked and nervous and your father's made you do it,

your heart rate would be up the wall anyway. Did you see the Kardashian one when they did it? And Chris had to say who her favourite daughter was. Have you seen that one? It's funny. lauren i've just googled lie detector test near me expert lie detector testing infidelity only 370 pounds not bad to find out is it but if it's wrong read the review amazing the most helpful man i have ever met right so ashley was about to ring again when the lie detector stopped

bringing you back you realized that there was nothing wrong when you thought he was cheating Well, yeah, basically, they're 350 quid-ish. And unless they're 100%, I don't see the point, because even then, even if... Because they used to do it on Jeremy Kyle, didn't they? Even if they're true, the person always goes, no, they're not, no-one's ever going to admit it. A man...

Well, did you watch that documentary about why they cancelled Jeremy Kyle? No, but I will. Because a few people actually committed suicide, and one of them said it was because the lie detector test was... Yeah, fuck that. They can't do that now. You can't do lie detector tests.

You can't. Unless it's 100%, which I don't think anything ever is. That sounds toxic as fuck. Yeah, she knows he's a dick. Right. Hey, girls. Love the potty so much. Little fake tan hack.

Once you've tanned with a fake tan mitt, turn it over and shake baby talc on the back of the mitt. Pat and brush your body with the talc. It stops any transfer onto bedding, and you can tan in the morning and wash it off at night. So you can do either. So if you do it overnight, it's not going to go on the bedding. Would your skin not be really dry?

Yeah, probably. I don't know, though, because tan makes it quite wet, doesn't it? So you could potentially, you could try that. I guess it's like baking, what we do with our makeup. Yeah, yeah, you could try it and it'd stop it from transferring. Brilliant. Hi, girls. After listening to the last bonus episode

and hearing about the girl with the potential perioral dermatitis, I've suffered with this myself and I get regular flare-ups. The doctor's prescribed an antifungal cream, which really helps. And also another thing to try is fluoride-free toothpaste, as i know people with hypersensitive skin have issues with this so i thought it could be worth a try hope that helps in any way hope that may help in any way love you girls for thank you so much for helping us normal girls somebody sent me a bloody message with um a psoriasis cream and i've forgotten it and i meant to screenshot it to tell everyone sorry my life i only use

fluoride free toothpaste because it's linked to like fertility issues all kinds of things never noticed that whether i do or not i've no idea what i know if you you'll be using fucking rochdale fluoride honestly don't know what it is the water where i'm from has probably got a problem with it a link to infertility i don't know it's i don't know what it is it's red it's in a red thing and it makes your teeth clean breath still stinks it's not that good right are you back on the fags i have had a fact this morning i have had a fact this morning yeah i go on honestly Don't use fluoride-free toothpaste, but smoke fags. It's really weird.

I'll have, like, I'll go through a phase where I'll have, I never have more than, like, you know, two a day. It's fully quit smoking. And then I'll stop. From that book. Really? How to Stop Smoking. And the man's called Alan Carr.

Is it the one where it says by the end of this book, you will not have another cigarette? Literally, he didn't. And he was listening to it in the car, and I was like, and it, no, but it was saying, like, and you as the smoker will have brown teeth, and your breath will smell, and people won't like you coming round to their house

because you'll be looking for somewhere to go for your cigarette. It's true. And yeah, and like we both like, I was like, oh my God. I do like the odd ciggy though. Wow. I don't have many, but.

I like one after a glass of wine. Yes, after a drink. And he was like, you're never having one after you've had the baby again. What a controlling man. Bastard. Trying to make your health better. Right, go on, do the next one.

Right. Hello, lovelies. Lovelies, I was going to voice number two girls, but I'm Scottish. And I was scared my accent would get ripped to shreds. Your Scottish accent. I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed with your pod. I was really late to the party and I'm really behind,

but I've gone right back to episode one and I've listened to every single one in order. You must be bored. I cannot miss a second. I love you both. I'm sorry. i know you get so many skincare questions but please help me i use zeddo skincare even though i find it absolutely extortionate but i do think it works however i suffer badly from hormonal acne

it's awful it's along my jawline particularly the spots are enormous and they're very very painful the zeddo specialist and my local skincare clinics just say it's hormonal you can't do anything about that is this correct i just wish i could prevent them a bit just for context i'm not on any birth control i'm using natural cycles right read the book the medical medium cleanse to heal and this book is all about like changing your diet if you've got dairy is a big one for around there isn't it everyone that has i've recommended that book to with like psoriasis eczema acne has been like oh my god obsessed yes you're gonna have to put the effort in because it's a lot of like celery juice and stuff like that i am loving my celery juice at the minute i have to have it i

didn't my juicer broke for two days and i didn't have celery juice what happened it was horrendous lauren what did you do are you okay i'm not okay can you get celery juice and deliver i bet you can in knoxford yeah uh delivery wasn't a thing in knoxford oh there's no delivery how because like the loads of old people lived there and they didn't like the men on bicycles they just didn't like the thought of it being like commercialized or something like when something like a costa opens out is everyone just going mad like when aldi opened everyone was fucking yeah um i mean i've just that's the rumor anyway um right hormonal acne i would say read that book and see if that works also infolic alpha is a really good supplement to take the ruchi um cleaning

something like that um i actually had somebody messaged me about that and they said i've had loads of people message me saying that's clear to clear the skin this kind of thing is more within isn't it than actual products that you're using i don't love zeddo you know i um have gone off ZO because you're not allowed to use it when you're pregnant either

I'm not that keen I like the pads I like the pads but I'm not that keen on it and I feel like this hormonal and I like the growth

factor I think this hormonal thing that she's got she needs cleansiderm yeah I feel like her skincare specialist could be doing more about this

you need cleansiderm and that is from original Abarji ask for cleansiderm and pore therapy yeah and this salicylic wash yeah

do you know what though the CeraVe salicylic wash much more affordable as well it's stunning other thing if you go to the doctors and get Duac

Duac but it bleaches everything so be careful yes it bleaches everything but you could just then apply that to your jawline that will that does work

but do you read that book though Cleanse to Heal it's linked on my in my bio under my favourite books get a new skin specialist I'm not keen on her saying it's hormonal

you can't do anything about that that makes me think yes you can the whole reason why you're paying for skincare it's for them to fix it i think you need to get a new skincare lady anyway we'll be back after the break with your dilemmas and now guys listen listen closely are you a loyal listener of the podcast do you set an alarm on wednesdays and fridays ready for a new release does it pop up

on your phone do you piss yourself while on the train or driving to work well why not tell your nearest and dearest all about niktok share us share us share us on whatsapp share us on instagram leave us a review put put um a story i like it when people put a picture take a picture of the car where they're listening to it yeah share us welcome back here we go well start spreading i knew i knew that was coming i nearly started it myself i thought i'm gonna give her a second i knew that was coming welcome back guys that picture is mean oh horrific right guys you ready who's doing this you

me alright then or do you want me to do it I'll do it right here is a little dilemma

hi ladies I love the pod you make these morning drives to work so much more bearable please keep me on oh of course wow

I've just been listening to this week's pod and I can totally relate to the family drama fucking hell I met a guy in November and we're now in a serious relationship

December January February March it's a good six months April nine we get on so well

and everything is literally perfect apart from his family the first night I met him I didn't realise just the small thing the small issue I didn't realise

that we had previous connections oh no basically my brother used to go out with his sister over ten years ago when they were teenagers

my brother split up with my boyfriend's sister and then soon came out as gay as you do well I think that's fine I'd rather that same

than get a new fit bird now my now sister-in-law is now engaged and living a happy life so she shouldn't be bothered really should she however she still doesn't seem

to be over the past and what my brother did and holds it against me the first cut is the deepest it is like I said they were teenagers

get over it babe get over it she won't talk to me or include me in any family events and make snide remarks when my name's mentioned which is now starting

to cause problems between me and my boyfriend because I always feel left out he says just come it'll be fine and as I think you guys would agree why would i put myself in a situation where i feel uncomfortable and uninvited i'm now at a

loss of what to do because i feel like no one's got my back and will stand up to her and tell her that i'm not going to be going anywhere i don't want to make my boyfriend choose between me and his family however it's really starting to get me down last week two family events he attended without me she can't do that no she has to go doesn't i would go i'd go and i'd be i'd be like i ain't going nowhere finish sorry okay um he always says that they're not that close so he's not even bothered why is she why have they got so many events but that's not the point and she's still present at every family event i literally don't know what to do i don't want to give him an ultimatum as it'll cause problems throughout his whole family but i am sick of feeling like

an outsider and i just feel like the whole reasoning behind having a problem with me so pathetic so that's what winds me up even more i'd appreciate wise words of lauren and ashley well i don't know about why um i don't think that the problem is with your brother thing i think she's just using that and has got some weird problem with some sisters like being the only girl in the family don't they they like being like the girl and they don't like another girl being there and being involved they don't like the attention switching so i don't think it's your brother i don't i think what a quote that i always um remember is hurt people hurt people and this isn't very kind i personally couldn't keep that up being mean to someone it's hard

if you're being mean like no reason oh no it's not easy to do it's not like it's actually really a lot easier to just be nice um so she's got some kind of problem but the thing that you've got to be careful of this is what i call the circle of doom and you know she's family she's not going anywhere hopefully you're not going anywhere either if you just like keep keep showing up like lauren said i would keep showing up don't have too much to drink at anything where you might let your guard down don't kick off even if she's got you you know right there just i agree i agree because otherwise she's going to be literally scrutinizing everything you say everything you do if you don't turn up for something why is she not here again then has

she got a problem and it also gives her a hard on that you've not turned up because she knows why you've not turned yeah and it looks like you're weak it looks like you're weak so i personally it's a hard one because we also say what did you say the other week that was very true catch me doing something i don't want to do right but i think you are only nine months in and that's very new it is very very new nine months it's a long way to go yeah i feel like you're not at the point now where you can say i went and i tried yeah keep showing up keep going you i know you don't want to do it okay but unfortunately you have to in relationships if you really love someone make sacrifices and you need to keep showing up to the family things do it for i would say another

six to twelve months i'd say another year yeah yeah i mean how many family parties do they have but just keep going and do you know what even if it means you drop in wait till the dessert and then you go home you don't need to hang around

you don't need to nice as pie you go with a solid front with your partner and make a real effort with the older family members

the grandmas make an effort with everyone that isn't her bring her a gift every time you go round I agree and what you do

is you are lovely you're nice to her but don't give her attention not overly lovely no what you do is you are you have a laugh You joke, you are lovely to everyone around her

and then she will want a piece of the pie. And if not, and a year down the line, you've now been with him a year and nine months, there is now a point where there could be a conversation whereby, speech your sister, she's a twat. But at this point now, I agree. Even that, you're not going to... Nothing's going to change.

You're just going to cause shit. So then I'd start doing the avoiding. Yeah, then start avoiding. Or maybe when you have a baby or something. But yeah, I completely agree. United front, you go together, you smile, you grin. But when you've got kids, it's different because as well, like, you don't want that energy around the kids. It's not very nice, is it?

So I think... Form strong relationships with everyone that isn't her. Exactly. Okay. Right. Lonely farts. Hey, girls and Lucas. I hope you had a ball at the brunch.

I'm gutted I missed it. I think I've got a potential man of the week. Oh. his name is jake green i like that name he's 32 from chester chester's lovely he's five foot ten and he's an electrical engineer he's only interested in women always a good start he's been in three serious relationships lasting around two years he's very good looking and has the most amazing funny personality i will admit that he's not one for you if you're a sensitive sally because his jokes are always on point i don't think we have that many sensitive

sally listeners no i don't either he's looking for something serious and i know he's not the player type i just don't get why he's still single to be honest his insta is girls get your phones out i'm getting mine out now because i'm gonna look i think he's gonna be private i think you can tell by the username jake green seven three nine seven three nine it's private so we can't see a picture oh i can see a tiny tiny have you got any mutuals no mutuals i can see a tiny tiny picture of him and he looks he looks handsome dark he's dark um dark hair looks like he's got a fair bit of it yeah he looks nice he looks nice um what the good thing about jake is by looking at this he doesn't follow many people he follows 200 200 following back he's not a big social

gegger on social media so yeah jake green 739 girls add him let me know what he actually looks like um yeah and he's from chester so if you're chester way and we've got one for you thank you for sending that in can we have more of them please more more more more more more how do you like it how do you like it get in touch remember on nip tuck oh i bet that was horrible for people's ears right remember on nip tuck we want you to get your voice heard you can email us hello at nip tuck pod.com you can always get in touch you can also get in touch via whatsapp you can send voice notes you can send us your ics your dilemmas your bits your bobs everything that you want to chat with us

pictures of your bumhole because Lucas opens those more bumholes penis and bumholes simply head to this episode's description for more information and please don't forget to give us a 5 star

review, I mean after having just said pom pom I don't know what I expect people to put on their reviews but yeah we're going to be back with you next Wednesday, have the most amazing weekend, if you're upset about a boy just remember that there are millions of women also heartbroken at this time move on go get that money bitch okay um bye see you later guys love you