Nip Tuck - BONUS: Swingers & Trolls

Episode Date: July 4, 2025

Our new obsession is Open House - and we give our honest opinions! Plus we talk about a recent troll encounter that really got on our tits! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Guys, hi! Welcome to the bonus. Right, so we're going to get straight into it. We've done the baby chat. Tommy's still with us. Cubby is Tommy for this. Mummy. Oh my god, he's so cute. He's so cute. Right, so Lauren came round to mine on Saturday, met the baby. Can I just say, somebody, I'll edit it when I've got time. I'll do it tonight. Somebody said in one of the questions to ask me, why did I go to your house and you didn't come to mine? I'll tell you why. I had five children in my house. and I wanted to get out

and Ashley's house is like going to a fucking hotel because you turn up and she's like drink would you like a drink can I offer you some vitamins here have this

here have a wine and also I arranged for everyone to like be out and leave us alone yeah the kids had gone the kids had gone it was lovely

we got under a blankie and we put the telly on and we swapped I was there for what four hours a longer ages and that's why

because I wanted to get out of my house and kids were coming in and out I wanted to get out and you don't want to get out and go to like a restaurant no i wanted to go to a house and i knew that i'd be treated like royalty so that's why i fucking

went i'd get a goose down pillow what a weird thing for someone to say yeah they asked that which yeah well that's why i wanted to get out i did offer to come she did yeah she did from the beginning offer and it wasn't like the people that were local i was like yeah just knit round but ashley's an hour away and i was like no i'm gonna save it i'm gonna wait till james can take the kids for a little and i'm going out and i'm gonna enjoy being out of the house for a few hours and it was great but we had so much chat we couldn't stop laughing i wish we filmed it we need to go on goggle box or what we're gonna do we're gonna set up like this um a camera pointing us a camera pointing to the telly maybe because we did it was so funny and we so we watched

we filmed our reaction to open house we watched open house sorry we watched open house and it is my favorite program on tv so open house is basically the way that i would explain it it's about people like couples go in and all of them tend to have been together for a long period of time and it's either like one of them feels like they're bicurious yeah or they want to spice up the relationship or there's all sorts of reasons fantasy but the interesting thing about this program and the reason i like it is more the um analyzing the mental the i can't think what the word is how the relationships and the relationship dynamics are so interesting to watch because me and ashley were saying the same things weren't we at the same time so we're watching it what was

that lady called a something coach a non-monogamy coach non-monogamy we were well better than her so we were watching it and you could see so this couple i thought that was quite irresponsible i did the advice that this woman was giving so this couple it really fucked with so this was series three episode one now there's a couple that came on um that we watched and there was a couple that came on and from the beginning this is basically what he said they were there together you could tell we were watching body language it was so interesting it was so interesting to watch the body language and analyze the relationship so this guy comes in they've had he's cheated a lot in the past but she overcame it pig me pig me go right he looked like a pig me go ashley called it

And he absolutely did. He got me. And I Googled it. Do you know the one that we've eaten? Yeah, you do. We were crying with a long hair. We were howling. He looked like a pygmy goat.

We couldn't stop laughing. With blue eyes. But you could tell, right, immediately. Her body language. He was horrible. She was incredibly uncomfortable. And insecure. Insecure.

Because he's battened her down. Yeah. And he was kind of sat there like, yeah, I cheated. I cheated. And they were there. I was like, fuck you. But their answer was, we've come here because I've cheated in the past. So we've come to build trust.

we were like what the fuck this isn't building and then they decided it's not funny that poor girl needed someone sat there saying fuck him off get rid of him you're better than him let's go and do some sound healing it was incredibly let's go and fuck another woman let's go and fuck it was incredibly i mean i think she had fun in the end she did about introducing another woman into it right so me and ashley watching like what so because he's cheating in the past and she says i've got insecurities around other women so you're gonna let him fuck another one and watch it no he He didn't just fuck one, he fucked three on the first night. So listen to what happened.

The first night, they go on this, whatever it's called, they go socials, they go separately. Why? If you want to build confidence as a threesome, they shouldn't have been allowed to separate. It should have been together. I honestly, someone actually like... It was weird.

...had severe thoughts after being on that programme. I would totally get it. I think it's really odd. It was weird. So we were watching them. He goes off one way. Great TV. Great TV.

And you're analysing the entire way through. She goes off the other way. Her social, she meets these guys. she can't do and they offer they say like come on do you want to get to know us more and she's shaking she's so it's not for her this she's so uncomfortable she's shaking he ends up in the tp having a gangbang right and she's in bed with her eye mask on so it's flicking for her but then she was listening to it yeah like this and then it flicks to him and it's one of those in the dark cameras and his eyes are wide and he's going and his eyes and you can see a foot in the air shaking

like a woman's foot pig pig out there's a pig pig out and he's going shagging it and his eyes are like his eyes are

it's in the dark camera and then he's like tied his hair up for it and he's like fucking it and then it goes back to her in bed and she's tossing

and turning then she goes to the she goes out to the she goes to the window lifts the window up and she's looking out the window like this

as if she can hear something and he's the tent is underneath her room and the next thing is ah ah and she's going

looking out the window gets back in bed he comes home crying he comes home and he goes did you do anything she went no it just didn't feel right for me what about you and he went yeah i had an orgy and she was like you what you humiliated me now what what did she think

was going no but at the same time he was i think she was coercing to it yeah and what did she think was going to happen well now she's pregnant anyway turns out in the end it says what happened to then the next night they had a threesome and she enjoyed it at least we know she didn't get pregnant that night because the threesome was with that fit girl oh yeah it was a she's got there's a but also right we were then we got onto the subject of who's getting paid here the the people that were there as as cast we well we think we think if anyone knows the details on this please tell us so basically there's people these swingery people whatever their name is i'm sorry if it's disrespectful but we don't know the name

ones that are pro poly whatever all sorts of different there was all kinds of and they were there they were there as like staff sex staff that's what we would call them so basically and like they were like they were pouncing on the couples so these people live in this massive house for like an extended period and then they'd ship all these couples in so then we were like but this one girl's like fit like french french and fit but she said no to quite a few do you know how she handled it was incredible so what happened is and this is what is so interesting about the whole thing so she was lovely actually so she met this couple and she could tell that this girl was still very insecure so when they took it to the threesome she was so lovely to the girl she was

gave her all the gave her all the attention telling her she had a nice pussy yeah giving her loads of attention so that she then built a confidence she didn't just go straight onto the guy didn't she buy her some she bought some lingerie had to wear dressed her up in it and you could tell that she was a nice girl and she was saying you are gorgeous she was making a field i liked her i like her because if a girl had gone in i'd like to get her on the pod oh for a bonus let's find out her name google french french french girl open house look i really liked her look very much very nice um and she i'd have she was a girl's girl you could tell and we got onto the conversation so then we got on then i texted james and an absolute horny rage i texted him saying um what

did i can't remember what the words were watching open house i'm horny he's like why what what you're saying you want another girl and i was like maybe i don't think i do but i was in the post you were pre-nut haze you were literally like and you were talking about what kind of person yeah so then we just got onto the subject and i was like not for me then we yeah ash was like absolutely not for me and i was like i don't know now so i have wants to watch james shag someone then she was talking so then i was like and i'm going to i'm going to buy a dick and she was like yeah you know a dick like a dildo that's like a dick that i can stick on things and i'm gonna put it up my pussy while his dick's in my pussy so i told you and it's

amazing why you can fit in there that's how she fit isn't she christina so i this must be my post baby horn i don't know but honestly i was watching is that a thing for a normal no no i googled it when i got home because most people say after they've had a baby they don't want their libido bottom it mines through there i don't know why so then i'm like could i have a threesome so then we're having this chat did you order the dick not yet but i am gonna i'm not gonna get a big one though because i wouldn't want to make you know like a stonker turn over look at what i got james and he's like one that goes like yeah i'm no i'm gonna get one i've had one in the past um and i'm gonna get one because then it kind of feels like a threesome but when me and james have this chat

i decided if we were to ever have a threesome i don't want it to be with a man absolutely not no it feels very cheaty it feels too cheaty for me and also james would aggressive james his penis would wilt like a flower that hadn't been watered if he saw another man shagging me he was like absolutely not for me so then we spoke about it and then i thought i don't know i think because i fancy him so much and i think he's so fit the thought of him shagging turns me on nice but i don't know if in practical matters it would and i am also not one bit attracted to women not one bit not one bit not even me i think you're pretty i don't want to lick your puss remember that time when i nearly licked your fanny because i said if you down this pine

i'll lick your fanny after and she downed the pine and then it got to she's like go on then you lick it and i was that close and lizzie oh god it's long sorry i was going go on do it and i was like i can't do it and i was like that up to a fanny yeah that was in south africa um so yeah i don't have nothing turns me on about women i'm just not sexually interested in them um but yeah so that's my sex life right now i feel like this has been very heavy on my sex life poor james um and then there was that scouse couple and she he was on the triangle she had a triangle oh no that's a different one not him yeah sorry not he wasn't on the game um she had a triangle now this one was interesting because you could tell i didn't know a triangle was a

thing but it looked quite fun it looked quite complex though yeah it's like she enjoyed it it was very much like patting your head and rubbing your tongue at the same time that's a really good question we got onto this because obviously like you put a condom on a it yeah and then it goes in and out and then it catches all of the man's shit yeah but how do lesbians have safe sex because if they put a piece of clink like and that's not me being no like no it's not something i've ever thought of fully thinking because if you're scissoring and both you fluid wet fanny look body fluid is transferring stuff transfers yeah so if you've got chlamydia and you rub your puss on another puss would the chlamydia would the chlamydia transfer

yeah i think it would so how does a lesbian have safe sex can you let us know guys yeah i'm honestly wait google it ask chat gbt um but honestly what a great program then there was another one and you could tell it was more her she was bicurious and he was just oh god he was the cutest little thing and he didn't he was very uncomfortable and she went and had a scissor and then he's like but how do you feel about me now then oh it was really and then he couldn't get it all he couldn't get it hard anyway he did in the end and he did he had a fucking right threesome and then they went to sex parties for after didn't they with the people they met um but then we got talking about like sex parties and stuff like that and it's like would it become then addictive

where normal sex isn't good because you think like that's what i mean like with my vibrator i can make myself come in oh my god 30 seconds so would going to a sex party just stop me from wanting vanilla missionary on a tuesday night i'm gonna have to just stand up with him you carry on for a bit now it says here safe sex practice for lesbians number one dental dams thin thin latex sheets during oral sex place over the vulva or anus i'm sorry that is an absolute turn off straight away gloves latex or nitrile gloves can be used during fingering or fisting but that's but then condoms on toys basically there is no way but then lesbians are probably way more loyal well you don't know you don't i don't think that's true i think everyone's the same i think

it's just who you are no one can hear you on the microphone oh oh oh guys i'm stood up rocking the baby now i've left the scene of the crime right here you go so dental dams are really expensive you can get some and for 100 it's 129 pounds and what it is is basically it's a square of latex that you put over the vagina how can you feel it i think it's like quite thin latex wait hang on how much is it 12 quid that's a 12 quid a lick yeah i know fucking hell it's a spenny lick and look they come in different flavors and stuff like that and then that's an asshole one a circle one okay dental damn dental why dental it makes me think because your mouth your mouth of course but then scissoring isn't yeah what about scissoring well you just put it over your

vagina before you scissored a condom's expensive scissoring look fun yeah i know i was thinking that hims and hers ultra thin natural latex protection condoms from lello eight pack for 18 quid that's not horrendous that's one pound eight so i think that this is quite unfair because if you want to lick it costs 12 quid and a shag's eight do you remember those um condoms that the std clinic used to give you and what were they like really shit brand ones and it was too condoms it's like an aldi condom it was too embarrassing to use if you pulled out your condoms like a paper bag and your microgyne on i was on microgyne until about two years ago for many many years many years isn't it really bad

for you yeah for many years do you know i think james is getting the snip oh me and my friends were talking about that i'll talk about it more when you know as and when um but what i will do you know what i can't i don't like being told no i was gonna say i feel like turn you off i don't like being told i cannot and the thought of him i'm not saying i want another baby but the thought of him having i don't like that choice taken off me even if i don't want another baby it's weird james like i'm getting the fucking snip and i'm like can you not wait a bit he's like no i've got five kids i'm like yeah but what if what if and he's like wow your hormones are not okay condoms yeah you can get femdom no something all right maybe we need to speak more about like safe

sex and shit yeah because there's a lot that i didn't know about same it's crazy i could have practiced it better when i was single how to choose the right size condom imagine if you had is there condoms for tiny dicks yeah of course mini mini doms is that what they call but now she made that up mini doms yeah but no man would ever admit that they needed a mini dom so they would carry on using the they have a tiny dick and then all the condom dangling off the end because in their heads they've got and then it gets left inside you yeah oh yeah hey said my monster willy and it's a tiny one what else do we need to cover uh girls let's sorry if my voice is in and out i'm really sorry what is your understanding of it then right so this is my

understanding um that for many many years they have tried to find the owner of tattle and how how have not been able to i assume it's maybe the cost of it and how clever these people are with cyber hiding of things um they did think it was a woman called sylvia at one point i remember that um and then there's a couple from yeah they got her addressed didn't they apparently so yeah um there's a couple from ireland and they sued tattle for defamation and loads of shit and they got 300 000 pounds and they won the case good for fucking them i don't know much about them or what why and i assume that the stuff that was written affected the business maybe and that's why they had a very good case so in doing so somehow they found the actual do you think it

was with that lawyer that i went to see it could well you know the one that was really specialized it could well have been but somehow finally they found the owner and i've forgotten his bastard name sebastian some bastardian um bastard and now his picture is being shared everywhere and everyone knows that he owns is it fake news though no it's not fake news it's been in the papers must be real no it's not fake news it is real it is legit and so they found the owner of it and me and james had like a big chat about this and he he was like everyone everyone's been sending it to me like yeah fuck him fuck him and i actually don't feel what he's done is not right but i actually don't feel that much anger towards him because what he's done is he's made a platform for people

to talk about what they like and it's the users on there that have decided to do all that not him i'm not that mad at him he's making millions and millions and millions what they talk about he's kind of on them so it's the users that i'm angry everyone's like fuck him and i'm like yeah if he's making if he's making millions and millions and he's like listen they talk about what they want why would i close it down i kind of get it i'm not mad at him i'm mad at the people that are on there they're the people that are causing it they're the people that are saying it he's not going on there and saying those things it's the public and what's scary is how fucked the public are yeah and how many users are on there exactly if you're on there

you're a fucking loser just wait that's a loser loser absolute loser but what they're saying now is that we can sue potentially the people that have written for defamation us on there that is untrue because it's come into like public knowledge at how bad like this and how much impact this has had on people's livelihood livelihood career mental health look at our friend kate hayes the way they what the stuff they did to her was on another level and it affected a career charlotte dawson charlotte dawson with the social services they've wasted government time like it's actually crazy so they're saying now that they probably at some point if you decide to take it to court they they'd have a case they will be able to unmask the trolls and how fucking

amazing i'm gonna have a busy day their whole lives will be over because who wants to be mates with some who wants to employ that on there no one would want to oh i'd go straight to the employer yeah same you you fucked me with mine i'll fuck you with yours honestly if it comes out who the people are i'm gonna have a really busy day i'm gonna make a whole youtube about it i'll like and i'll be showing your faces on there like to go on there and to write about someone that either you do or you don't know yeah what a sad life you've only got one life to live why are you sat on you're looking at someone else laptop send it your mate now and again and say not keen on her leave it at that do you know what i mean then we had a bit of a cunty cunty situation at the

oh we did we did we always say we're not going to address it but this one got me she really got me so an owner of a clinic yeah so this is what happened and we're not going to name any no no we're not like this horrible horrible person we're not gonna and but we are gonna say what we think about it so somebody sent me a screenshot of a clinic's instagram and it was a shared reel of me and ashley and ashley was discussing sculpture and the fact that it is a contraindication which means it can stop something happening of facelift surgery because of the scar tissue and blah blah blah we've said this about haifu as well surgeons have said it themselves surgeons we know

have said it surgeon who did Ashley's face has said it surgeons have done reels about it so we've not got this from nowhere

the number one surgeon in the world has done a reel talking about it so we have discussed it and talked about it now I totally understand that people that offer

sculpture and haifu are probably going to be like for fuck's sake girls I get it totally get that and in that case well that is their livelihood and I get it

so in that case perhaps if you disagree with it do a video saying I disagree and a few people did and a few people did and that is fine and like they said

like stuff has come on leaps and bounds from maybe the 10 year old sculpture that someone's finding in the face or they're severely you know oh and people don't use the machines properly i i get that but still we're allowed to chat about it that's what we do um and if you were to do a video back like guys i know a lot of people lately have heard this about how if you can i just explain that hands up i appreciate that i've worked in cosmetic surgery for over 15 years as well like i would actually say if someone was going to comment on something like that maybe you've been doing facials for four or five years like let's just so let's all have a fair forum let's have a chat right this particular

person shared that and her words actually were it wasn't guys just be careful it was something like it was i'm not gonna quote it didn't even say that's pussy fucking pussy and it said girls never listen to any of the advice given on this podcast and then it said something like i listened to one episode and they didn't know the difference between X and which is bullshit we will have done

then she said they talk all the time about not liking exfoliation and then one of them has brought out an exfoliating brand no no no no no we talk about

manual exfoliation like St Ives scrubs we do and I stand that device with the brush I stand by that it can damage

your skin barrier and what we have said a million times is we love I fucking love exfoliation done with acids blah blah blah AHAs

BHAs supposedly though we don't know they are yeah so that was in so that was incorrect so that's where i first got pissed off because i thought have your opinion call me a big fat ugly slag and i will not reply to you why are you trying to turn my business down as well you fucking who goes to this girl but at the beginning how at the beginning she put don't normally like to something to talk about other women's businesses but i will i will anyway i will anyway then so that is incorrect that fact was incorrect that pissed

me off because i thought if you're gonna come at us i will take feedback not when it's wrong that