Nip Tuck - Breastfeeding? Hard Pass. Pass the Chicken Kiev!

Episode Date: May 13, 2026

Today’s episode is basically one big confessional… no topic is off-limits, and some things maybe should’ve stayed private. After both suffering the exact same unfortunate “accident” thanks to one suspicious drink, Ashley and Lauren dive into everything from breastfeeding opinions to Ashley’s wild memories of drinking port in fields back in the day. There’s also an unexpected shared love for a Chicken Kiev, a chat about older celebrities having children, and a rundown of the random things they’ve bought this week. Plus, the girls hear from a listener who discovered her fella was cheating, all because of an incredibly intense dream...Head over to our socials @niptuckpod and click the link in our bio to find our YouTube, where full video episodes will be released every Wednesday at 5pm. If you're a Patreon member, not only will you get the Wednesday main episode the day before at 5pm, you'll now be able to watch the Friday Bonus too!Get in touch with your questions, dilemmas and Slutty Susie's via our Whatsapp or email [e-mail]

I just remember one... It was like your mum and dad's bar. Exactly, like your mum and dad's cupboard. My mum really only drinks wine, my dad only really drinks wine, and they've got that cupboard of shit alcohol. That they don't want to burn in case someone comes round when no one ever comes round. And I'd, on a weekend, go to a field with a bottle of port. Yes, yes!

Do you know what I mean? Yes! If you're wondering what you want for tea time, fucking chicken Kiev. I like chicken Kiev. Fucking chicken Kiev! listen i would love to be a breastfeeder i'm not it's just not it's not on my plan of things to do and um and my tits are not not like they they really would love to breastfeed but i don't want

them to so it's you know like it's not on my plan of things to do it's not on my list i just love what like there was it was just like just not no she put a vibrator up her sleeve and then she started shouting and mum downstairs and she had to give a full police interview. With a vibrator up her sleeve. Yeah, and she was like. And she was like the whole experience, I was just thinking. Thinking there's a vibrator up my sleeve. Guys, hello and welcome to Nip Tuck.

oh the voice no not giving a fuck so really really not we've had um we've had a morning so we are doing i'm gonna like let you in on a little insight of podcasting oh because we are so efficient we have a fantastic producer we do as you all know where's this going and we're very accountable we have to manage our schedules we do we have a baby coming soon so that means to keep you guys supplied with your favorite podcast give you the crack you need then we have to do something where we bank and start like storing the records so that i can have a few weeks off and it's actually like quite a good time in summer as well isn't it i'm thrilled i for one I'm thrilled to get a few weeks off in the summer.

Stunning, right? It's fine by me. So we're going to have a couple of weeks off, but you, don't worry. No, you're not going to miss out. It won't, it most likely won't affect you. So this is, we are hard-working women. We deserve a pay rise.

A medal. Right, what have we been doing? Did you know, my therapist ghosted me, have like six weeks off a year. They're just on a two-week break at the minute. They just say we're having a break. Well, they can. We're not there yet, hon.

We're not there. One day we'll be able to do that, but right now we've got to slog it out right my loves so what's coming up on this episode we both had an accident that we thought we'd share and we had a little accident um we want to talk about celebrities having kids well anyone having kids a little bit older in life and what our thoughts are in that and obviously what we bought this week because everyone loves it and i love it but it makes me realize what shit i'm buying all the time when i do the list i'm like oh i don't think i spent that much this week right where can you find us and how can you get in touch

that is your job okay now as always the main episode will be released without fail as we've just discussed every wednesday plus our exclusive bonus is on patreon on friday however you can now watch full episodes head over to our youtube where everyone all of you can watch our wednesday episode like you're here with us you can smell us there is another way that you can get your nails sunk even deeper into nip tuck and get closer close and cozy to us and that is via an app called patreon okay not many people have heard about this but once you're on it i'm telling you now it's addictive and you're going to absolutely love it you get bonus episodes on there so you're gonna get an extra episode on patreon every single week again without fail video you can also go back

and listen to a whole stock of hundreds of bonus episodes you never heard before also the chat on there is a little bit more unfiltered a little bit more relaxed and there's other features on there like lauren's just said there is a video you can also dm us there's chats chatting constantly there's discount codes i'm doing a giveaway soon people are sharing links of their favorite items people are giving advice there's the surgery chat there's all of the different things that make up the community that is patreon which i'm just so proud of and we love it there's thousands of you on there and we're on there all the time there you go there's patreon right i think we should start with the confession okay so you know we're like going first you did it first um so we need

to keep we need to keep lucas he's panicking his face it's nothing to do with the pod his face now basically um we both shot ourselves on separate occasions so it's grown women it was about six weeks apart so basically i had been recording and when you're pregnant like you know like you have to eat or you get moody and shaky and like now i've just sat and eat a pair she sat there chomping on a pair i was looking at like a piece of very good for anti-aging we eat our skincare here okay so i've had my pair and i've had some ritz crackers this morning by the way i didn't know how bad ritz crackers awful the full of like yeah like shit yeah um anyway i cancelled it out with the pear but a few weeks ago we've been recording and i was shaking i was so hungry

so on my way home i drove through a starbucks drive-thru and i was driving so i couldn't be arsed like shoving some food in my mouth so you liquidized the calories yeah so i bought myself a frappuccino and oh i enjoyed i savored every last bit of that caramel no coffee actually i think there's a bit of coffee caramel coffee cream oh it's so good not vegan cream the cream the full shebangs a big one right and i was like oh my fucking hell why have i not done this for ages and then um i was driving to alteringham to meet my friend and i had my car heat seat on which i always have on because my back is fucking yeah i won't moan about it too much but it's really fucking mad and i when i got into ultraman couldn't find anywhere to park they'd park they'd

shut the multi-story car park and anyone that knows already ultraman's a fucking nightmare to park and usually now i just get an uber it puts me off going it puts me off going ultraman if you're listening anyway i thought i'd farted i'd shat myself i'd fully shat myself it was up my back it was i think i was actually wearing this top i was wearing black jeans as well um i can confirm she did because she sent me a picture my friend was waiting for me in the restaurant i think she'd ordered me a drink as well and i just had to bring her some i've chipped myself and i'm going home so you're gonna have to pay up and meet me at home she sent me a picture i ran into the house there was poo all up like a baby like when a baby

and you go and you go oh it's up the back this one oh and i had to like get in the shower i had to wash everything i felt disgusting yeah you fully pooped i had to like put i was like deciding and the warm seat would have been warmed go on you've not told me fully about yours so that happened and she sent me a picture of her shirt which was just so nice and you said why is that happened i said and she said i've had a frappuccino and i was like well why would you do that yeah you were like yeah that's disgusting we don't drink our calories yes and i do believe that i actually think right if i if i had not that it's all about calories whatever if i had like 300 calories because they can be i'd rather eat 10 pack well probably two packets of crisps or like some chips

then a drink then drink it but anyway so yeah i laughed i took the piss and i was like oh that's disgusting then the other day house move we moved house um maybe my like a nervous system i don't know but i was talking to james in the boys room and we were just having a normal conversation um had been farting a lot that day that's not out of that's not unusual uh but it was quite potent and people were moving away from me when i came near so it was quite bad and i was just chatting to him about where we were going to put stuff in the boys room and as i was talking i did a little fart i didn't stop to do it i didn't make a scene of it i was just like yeah we could put that over there and then and the second i did it it's that feeling where i went

that second and i just looked at james and went i've shit myself he went what i ran to the bathroom i was like i've shit myself i've shit myself and he's like you've what he's actually got a video because obviously ran in filmed me i pull my pants down i had fully shat all in my what kind of shit was it like runny and a bit grainy but it wasn't yeah like what mine was yeah but it wasn't water and it had gone into my good america jeans and it had gone down my leg is there anything worse than shitting yourself in jeans the jeans honestly so i stripped myself it was vital and he was just filming me like crying laughing he's like you've shit yourself i was like i'm a grown woman i've pooed in my own pants what because you'd so it so i forgot to miss out a great big detail here

so then i texted ashley and i was like i've just shit myself then i posted a story that night and it's sorry not a story an instagrid and on the carousel there's a picture of me she screenshots at me and he's like that's why you shit yourself and was it had you just drank that in that morning i drank it that morning yeah and it's because we were moving and i went to mcdonald's to buy all the removal people some mcdonald's and i just got a bit excited and i thought fuck it i don't care it's like an on the go thing i'll have a frappuccino to go with my taste fucking great so good so yeah um then i peed my pants um he filmed it and then i actually i rang my mom because i always ring my mom straight like i've just shat myself and she was

like cool because she rings me when she shits herself and she was like right what i said what to do with the poo and she said put it in cold water for now soak it a bit this is all a lot she was like throw your jeans i was like they were 150 pounds no so i put them in the cold water then i forgot they were there because i'm running around james's mum and dad came to see the house and they are looking around the house and the shitty jeans and i ran did you blame a kid i they didn't say you know as i really not that i'd care i think i told them but i literally just thought my jeans ran and got them out of the bath of the sink because they were just sat there with shit in them because i've forgotten that i'd done it so yeah that's what we did i've got a funny

story about that actually one of my friends i'll tell you the full story when i can one of our friends houses got broken into and they were in her bedroom right and she opened the bedroom door and when she saw like shit like the what happened robbed and she said that they must have pulled her bedside drawer on all of her vibrators wherever so she was she put her vibrator up her sleep and then she started shouting and mum downstairs and she had to give a full police interview do you know um i i do that with my vape hide it up my sleeve do you know i am gonna tell you something now i have never eaten a sausage in my you eat sausage rolls you silly cow that's a sausage roll that's not a sausage it's a sausage and i eat chicken sausages right but i mean like

a sausage like have you tried the new greg's chicken sausage roll no nice it's nice oh i gave tommy chicken sausages last night because i thought i love chicken sausages anyway i've never eating a sausage and basically school dinners whenever it was sausage and mash day i'd be like that's fucking rank that's my favorite dinner but they wouldn't let you like get up from the table until you'd finish so i used to put the sausages on my sleeve when i was like And when you cleared your plate off, I'd be like, fuck off. Shaking the sausages up. That's one of my core childhood memories.

I'm a school jumper. I can just imagine you with sausages up your, going on like. And I remember telling my mum and she's like, darling, I would not eat a school sausage. Do you remember those fucking turkey Twizzlers? Yeah, I love them. And they had blue bits in. They did.

why did they have blue bits in guys does anyone know and the dolphins do you know what my favourite what do they eat now for school dinners one of my favourite ever dinners and I haven't eaten it for a couple of years but I would

is turkey dinosaurs with beans and either waffles or some form of smiley face and honestly I'd eat that over like a restaurant standard food turkey's like quite good for you I don't think it is turkey.

It's probably the neck bit. The giblet. The giblet. The arse. Right, so we shot ourselves. We just thought we'd tell you. Do you know what dinner you can't beat, guys? If you're wondering what you want for tea time,

fucking chicken Kiev. I like chicken Kiev. Fucking chicken Kiev. You cannot beat a Kiev tea. It's the crunch on the outside. And then if you get some sweet corn and it goes in the... I had the chicken parma last night. Yeah, we loved it.

i have um like a thing where i eat the same dinner it's a hyper fixation consistently and then i'll never ever eat it again and that's one of mine at the minute and james that learn i don't want that again well the nine pound fifty because i don't buy the meal i just buy the thing and i got one reduced at four pounds if you're going on like friday afternoon anyway but then i worked it out if you divide it by two that's four pound fifty each bit of pasta it's not that bad um but it does feel bad when you're buying it i went to m&s the other day and i got barely anything and it was 40 40 pounds and all i got was some blueberries or something like that well blueberries are he won't eat aldi ones anyway anyway let's crack on okay so speaking of people

that have been fucking shit up we're not the only ones that have made mistakes this week so we saw online that there was a ba flight attendant and what happened ashley she drank a few bottles of wine before her shift because she was stressed and then she got she gets sacked or something now i get it when i used to work at maya i had a gin and an arching coat and probably shouldn't say that she won't care i don't work there anymore and all the lips were great and if yours weren't it must have been one of my gin days why gin is it it don't anything i could get my hands on you drink like spirits when you're hardcore boozer because they don't smell yeah they don't smell is that right well it's like wine breath is a thing i mine was just because i

used to like having a shot of it so i'd go into the cupboard warming and it would give me i would have so it was really stressful at work and like i said i did it at my uh not all like i wasn't pissed but like i did do it now and again these are this is during like seriously traumatic life events not just for the crack that was wine for the crack um and i would go in the cupboard down it just i'll tell you how i started it mr trainer one of the surgeons that we work with who i adored thousands of women have got mr trainer boobs i adored him i really did lovely irish man very assertive and straight but if you knew him you knew him and people would bring in spirits as a gift after he'd done their boobs lovely so then we had them in the cupboard and i just

remember it was like your mum and dad's bar exactly like when you're younger like my mum really only drinks wine my dad only really drinks wine and they've got that cupboard of shit that they don't want to burn in case someone comes around when no one ever comes around and like i'd on a on a weekend go to a field with like a bottle of port yes like do you know what i mean whatever you could find anything honestly exactly like that and we had it and i remember one day being particularly stressful and i must have opened the cupboard and it was like and i remember saying gary and he was like yes i was like i'm having a really bad day can i have some of your whiskey and he was just like well i'd fucking if you want a fucking weirdo or fucking

whatever so i was like downed it and then i got a taste for when i was stressed doing it and yeah i used to do it arching cope only like really really we started with whiskey and then it progressed to like gin um but yeah so isn't gin a depressant no gin's the good one isn't it tequila is the good one and gin tequila is the upper gin is the downer at the time that's why people say like yeah don't drink like you know like pink gin in summer is gorgeous but you make you have a couple of them like for a few days after it can make you really yeah drinking makes me depressed anyway really really depressed it's not good for me but tequila you have to only drink tequila this is the issue because you start with the tequila and then you get silly and then you start fucking

drinking whatever's there that's what i do anyway right we're gonna move on to something a little bit more serious oh okay so i saw this video of this all will add up the point that i'm getting to everyone so i saw this video on tiktok and it was of a lady with all of her friends around her and a newborn baby and they're like having a few drinks like having a chat like just having a lovely little lunch or brunch or something and she's saying here's me at my sip and see my husband gives me my push present because i had my baby four weeks early right so she's with her friends and her husband comes in with a chanel bag and gives it to her and they're all like ah yeah and it's really cute the comments on the video really horrendous they're like oh my push present is my

child because that is all i care about your child isn't going gonna go up in value yeah and then it's like back in back in our day we never had things such as push presents we were just happy for a healthy child and delivery which of course goes without saying um and then it's just like this is so materialistic and blah blah and but it's not bothering i watched the video and i thought that's cute that's lovely and then and then i thought why has this gone so viral and that's why it was from these comments and it was all like back in my day then i stumbled upon this other post which a girl had done i think it was like a holiday picture or something or she she'd done something like just and a mum had commented on the picture let me read the comment to you

one sec while you're looking for it yeah i just think it's wild to me i'm it's almost like they feel it is a form of jealousy really that that otherwise why would you comment on it why would you be arsed like go you just move on move on yeah scroll past um and she's commented i am the mother of this beautiful incredible human and everything she says is the truth and you all know it my beautiful daughter i just want to say i'm sorry i grew up being told to be a good girl everywhere all the time to be liked and to meet expectations to put others first I never really thought about my own well-being and without realizing it I passed it on to you especially to you as the eldest I truly believed that I was doing the right thing at the time and I thought

that by teaching you to be good in quotes would protect you and give you a good life but now I can see it did not protect you the fear of what others think kept you from being your true self and from feeling free leaving you to carry pain in silence in no place that anyone should and it breaks my heart i also want you to know how proud i am what happened to you did not change you you are still kind good beautiful soul and that makes me even prouder you are living a life i could only ever dream of you've worked so hard you have achieved so much academically you've created your own life for yourself which has made me proud i'm so proud of the mother you are the way that you're raising your son to be a good respectful man i'm proud of the strong powerful woman you

are you are shaking up systems that keep women oppressed and how you use your voice to empower women and speak for those who feel like they can't be spoken for i'm proud of you for breaking a cycle that me and my mother before me did not dare to break i hope that the next generation of girls learn from you and wake up thank you my daughter because in finding your freedom you have healed part of something inside me wow so basically i think so what do you think she's saying in in layman's terms i think we've all been told to just crack on and put up with it yeah and just be like water down and and you know now girls are the ones like this movement i saw a statistic the other day and it was something like 40 of 30 year olds now don't

have kids just like out of choice because they don't want to yeah really funny you say that um i was having a chat with my niece the other day like we're not doing what's done this so we were having this chat the other day she's got a little girl and we were talking about how many kids i've got her having kids would we ever have more blah blah blah and we and she basically we were talking i've got a friend who's had a child and was umming and ahhing has had the child adores the child would never swap the child but actually openly says i would have been all right without have them and love them actually now i would have been all right on my without having one and this is what we were talking about and she said that she feels very very similar and we were talking about

kind of the fact that you feel like you should have children and it's like a right of path this is what you do yeah then you have your children you get married and then you do this yeah you find a nice husband and then you stay in your place and you get your job now for some people that's what they want to do there's a lot of people that want to do that absolutely fine but i think when i was talking to her she said the same she was like i love my child wouldn't swap them but i would have been all right without actually and there is a pressure from the whole world and one thing she said that really fucking made me laugh and i thought i thought you'll find this funny so i said so yeah i said i get what you're saying i said i don't feel like that like

i am like glad of mine and i don't ever think like that um so we're talking like both of our experiences and i went oh no but i said oh wendy smile nothing gives me that feeling and she went i don't that joy that joy she just looked at me she went if you ever dropped a pill at a sick set in ibiza i could not stop laughing i was sat there and i went fair because i was like nothing is that joy she's looking dead in the eye she's like you never dropped a pill in ibiza and i was like okay do you know what as well that i think is a big thing that people tell like i i've got loads of like younger girls that i work with and girls that don't have kids and this stuff and we talk a lot because obviously i'm pregnant and they ask me questions about like giving birth and

having kids and stuff and they say like is it the most amazing feeling when they like you see your baby and i'm like honestly always it's not like don't get that in your head but this whole thing my friend said that she didn't get that and then she expected it and then was like i think that is only very small and i'm not like saying this is everyone but there is a certain amount of women now looking at women like me like you like other girls have chosen not to have kids me and you were voicing our opinions on certain things and breaking taboos and stuff like that that really don't like that and what i always say when someone says something negative to you that they didn't have to say that they just delivered projected on you that's a projection of them and that's something

that they are internalizing and projecting so this is what sophie said so when we had sophie on the other week she said we word for word exactly that and what we were saying is and we admitted that in the past i've been jealous of girls i've been like i'm talking like in my 1920 i've hated a girl me me and there's a reason i hated her she hadn't done anything i didn't like me yeah i didn't like me and i was jealous of her so the only way that i knew how to deal with this was to make people not like not like it because then i felt better there's a difference between envy and jealousy like envy we always say oh god i'd love to be like that person yeah and i do i look at some things are oh wow that car wow that house nice but jealousy is different

jealousy is when you want to remove it from them yeah yeah i totally agree and honestly just just focus on yourself i do think what you've said about this this that that lady wrote she basically is looking at it from an older lady's point of view looking down and being like that takes a lot that takes a lot and it's almost like a ding and she's looked and thought i've been doing this wrong like i've been telling her to be quiet i've been telling her to follow the path i shouldn't of like it's good to talk i agree it's really like that i really like that and i like i like my mum would never would know my mum says she's proud of me my mum does now and again i suppose as a parent you're still learning aren't you oh like all the time and that's something so we were

talking about and i think this is something i wanted to speak to you about i saw online um something about rob i think it was robert de niro and he was in the park listen don't quote me with i think he's three year old okay and he's 82 okay got me thinking about a few different things the first thing i thought was without being horrible but but life expectancy realistically he may what is like the average life is it like 85 90 i don't know interesting to know but somewhere world like somewhere like let's say 87 i don't know what it is and anyone can drop dead at any time i am aware but that kid won't know his dad and i was a bit like right 73 73 fucking hell oh my god we've not got long oh my god my mom's 73 70 oh whoa whoa whoa whoa right i don't want

to know that women women a little bit longer oh i've got how long have i got right no stop i'm gonna ring mom and tell that um no so my point was this he's 82 and you know may live a long and happy life but let's say he's got a few more years yeah this kid is gonna be like five or six and without being mean the dad's probably gonna die so then i started thinking about it and i was thinking oh that's so tight on the kid then it got me spiraling into thinking is it not fair to have kids very very very very old because of that reason or is it not you're bringing a child into the world and i think that as long as you have put things in place right yeah fair but if I think that it's fine like you just said like you know we're all raising children differently

I heard an expression the other day of like I'm putting something in the oven I don't know how it's gonna come out yeah and I just think that you know if I was older I mean Cameron Diaz 53 has just had her third child Naomi Campbell I think was about 51 and then she had another one maybe women and men people have children older stereotypically they are usually wealthy because you have to especially as a woman have certain means to be able yeah to be able to do it yeah to be able to do it um bernie and i get that the food 80 odd i'm not saying it i was just thinking you'd put they'd have to have like some kind of carer this is what it's like you just got me really thinking like is this fair she would have been 79 and i wish when the baby was born

it's got a start of life better than most babies in the set and not better but from a financial perspective which means that they've got the care with and they might want to pass down the generational wealth you don't know what if you what if you'd only met someone like literally like very very late on and wanted a child like i've got friends that have met their partners in their like 40s and they're so they're like we wish we could have had kids but we can't i just i don't know i just thought oh yeah no listen it's a debate but then at the same time so you get this baby when it's 18 how old is partner though i don't even look be in her 20s so my thought was this though when i was she's 46 ah when i was thinking about it this is what i did think to

myself when this child turns 18 if someone said and the dad will have passed away if someone said to the child you've got two options either you never existed or you existed but lost your dad young they're gonna pick existed so i guess they're still legit oh my god oh my god guys what i've got a crown can i i just to relate this very quickly so i for my opinion i think it's a gray area like if you're really old but you i know it sounds really harsh but with him he's he's having a few magical years at the start the wife is much younger so the wife might not have someone to pass his extreme wealth to but also do you know what's quite sweet you're gonna have memories at that age but then they can go and watch all the movies he's done yeah older

and live that thing but also on this if you remember recently the child will never remember him at three years old i remember sorry what memory do you have from three apart from shitting your pants because i don't i can remember very sausages i have none but just quickly it also reminds me of that story very recently of sir benjamin slade the 79 year old who's looking for a 20 year old wife to inherit because he's an aristocrat yeah right okay i guess it's i guess it's circumstantial listen to this so someone said if i could give you 10 million quid now would you take it yes but there's one rule what you don't wake up in the morning no so every day to you should be worth 10 million pounds oh that's you've just reminded me of

something else i'm sorry i'm sorry you're gonna cry no i just think that's beautiful no i agree well i've got a good one for you that one of the girls in patreon put in what now and it's one of the girls that's always posting lovely girl i might not get this exactly right so you're feeling like shit with all your problems you've got whatever going on oh yeah if you were to put your problem on a piece of paper and throw it into like a raffle looking at with all the rest of the world people in the world's problems would you to make your problem go away would you throw it in there and pick out a different one it's mad no of course you fucking wouldn't because there's people in poverty there's people so that she posted it and i thought wow every time i've got a problem

i'm gonna think would i is it that bad that i would chuck it in there on the chance of a swap for what other people are going through yeah no like someone's child's got cancer or someone or someone's got no no they're in poverty there's so many millions of awful things so yeah let's remember that if you're having a bad day a little recommendation um i am listening to i'm about halfway through at the minute the paul brunson podcast where he's speaking to the world's most famous divorce lawyer oh i bet that's interesting fucking hell like it makes so much sense he was like i don't understand how you can sit down and decide what wedding cake you're gonna have when you've not even done some kind of prenup yeah when you've not decided your entire future

given that whatever percent of marriage is ending divorce me being it's so true and he's like if you are in a happy marriage and relationship you should never ever take that for granted because you only have each other and are some of the things that he says is stuff like i've never even thought about also that's a really fair point with that if you are in a really good relationship you should be able to have uncomfortable awkward conversations and it not end in an argument and it'd be fair if you can't do that what kind of relationship are you even in one of those putting yourself at the back making yourself small yeah i don't have a prenup believe it or not oh well I'm not answering that question, but anyway.

Anyway, guys, we're going to roll into the break on that one. We'll be back in a minute. Right, okay, so we're back, we're back, we're back. And we've kind of left it a bit because we're not at time to do this, but we really wanted to. Different ways you've caught your partner's cheating. You know, we had a little section. Weird and wonderful.

Weird and wonderful. And I'm going to read one to you now. hi girls and lucas i was just listening to this week's pod and i have to say i absolutely love listening to you and i can't wait for the new pod weekly we add those bits in ourselves i have a story about my ex-boyfriend we'd been together almost 10 years when one night i had a dream that he was texting another girl i woke up in a panic and i told him he was lying next to me at the time i've just had a dream you're texting a girl with a really different name a name that never came to me in the dream but i knew it was one that was unheard of to me he said don't be

silly and shrugged it off oh no did you read that fast forward the following week i got a hey girly text late at night you're always like what what now by a woman with a let's say very unique name asking if i was in a relationship with with this person as he has been texting her and initiating a meeting safe to say i doubt he will ever do this to another woman again so she it came to her in a dream she must be psychic you must be psychic so in her dream what a blessing always listen to your gut guys yeah all your dreams listen see again as you know i don't believe in psychics but guys what the fuck is that but but i can't explain that no i can't i had a weird dream about olivia atwood the other day uh she had a weird dream about me and her

that we went to disneyland together and we got really drunk on tequila and um we were on a brand trip she voice noted me we were on a band trip me and her yeah and we got really drunk on tequila and got really told off and i was like that does sound like something that i had a dream about it and i i can't remember it but i woke up thinking why am i dreaming when i have weird dreams about you i usually text you and then i had a really weird dream that someone was pregnant oh fuck and i messaged them and said i had a really weird dream that you were pregnant last night and she screenshot it do you remember molly may said that exact same thing on the same day and she was pregnant and me and molly may predicted it wow there you go please there's some weird

stories anyway right right okay what we bought this week should we get straight in you go first okay so i'm starting off with baby shit because this baby is coming is coming and i am telling you now like fourth child poor thing doesn't have anything yet everyone you get less and less packed i went to primark to be fair and i bought me and ed a black tracksuit each and some toothbrushes okay it's a good start all you need right so my macom garments i need to speak to nadja i spoke to her about coming on the pod by the way she said yes just not yet because she's setting something up oh i wonder if she's gonna do it right so basically the macom garments um are the best ones that you can get and they're for like post-surgery and stuff like that but i

wear mine after my c-section and i get the foam insert but things are always getting updated so i get on the phone to nadja so i need to do that because i need to get my order in also moving on to tits i get the mac on post-op bra for after i've given birth because my boobs are they are huge they're massive and i strap them up as tight as possible listen i would love to be a breastfeeder i'm not it's just not it's not on my plan of things to do and um and my tits are not not like they they really would love to breastfeed but i don't want them to so it's you know like it's not on my plan of things to do it's not on my list i just love what like there was it was just like just not going to so i i i strap them up really fucking tight in this bra

like suffocate them then i get like um the the pad things to make them really compressed because then the the milk can't come in if there's nowhere to go okay then i get these things called koala nipple shields and they have to be 100% sterling silver and you put them over your nipple so that your nipple can't smell the baby and the baby can't smell your nipple. Right, so the nipple's nose can't smell your baby. So the nipple has got steel

caps on them, right? It is unbelievable how I remember putting Tommy, I had no top on, I put him on my shoulder and I left him there and I was like, James, watch this, and he literally, like this, wiggled himself to my tit. It's fucking amazing. It is. If you want to

do it it is but they're not but mine so they steal nipple things and also they stop your nipples from being sore basically i even when i have a shower i don't take marara right so you compress them i just will like hose everything down for smelly titties really stinky and i get all spots here because they're all sweaty and everything but we can deal with that afterwards also pseudofed supposedly is really good guys i'm not a doctor um for drying your milk up uv sterilizer it's did you get the vital baby i haven't decided yet it's either the tommy tip have you seen tommy tippy you've done i haven't no tommy tippy and vital baby are like the most popular i love my vital baby one i had the vital baby one last time and not very big though i think you can fit about

four bottles in there dummies as well i used to put my phone in it right then car keys i didn't even think of that all of that kills bacteria in seconds they didn't even think so uv sterilizers with saskia had one of those fucking oh the steamer thing and it's wet and it's hot and you burn yourself on it why did it even exist and you pull the lid off and the steam hits you in the face no i had that with get a uv sterilizer girls that's on one of my top i agree hacks okay totally agree also have you seen i told you the vital baby has got an attachment it's got a fucking uv sterilizer attachment the bottle the rapid call wow so it's like 15 quid the lid is a uv so you know if you're out and about and you want to heat another milk up and you can't sterilize is it yes

brilliant um cozy tie massage inhale i'm there a lot and it's i know it sounds like a brothel if i could lift my eyebrows which i nearly can so i'm getting them done i'm getting botox tomorrow i would lift an eyebrow at you right now um the lady there's called benny she's gorgeous she's amazing and they're so fucking good um the cappuccino tea cakes from marks and spencer you're so pregnant we are all do you know the calories the calories are not bad because they're like air so it's like a tea cake so it's got the biscuit at the bottom then it's got the marshmallow inside then it's got the milk chocolate and you put it in your mouth and it melts and it's just absolutely beautiful how many can you eat in a go there's six in a pack and it's usually all

gone yeah from marx and spencer cyclar fragrance oil okay so the cyclar body oil is the best body you'll ever use it's from america you have to buy it off that london loves beauty but they bought out like mini fragrance oils the santal one oh what do you do with that just rub it uh so like a perfume but bratz dolls bratz dolls are back and i'm so fucking here for it because i have little girls and i just think bratz dolls are like they're iconic sick like they're way cooler than barbie yeah they are and if i could look like anything it would be a bratz doll and they look more like a barbie bratz laboo boo dolls is that what one of the girls put in patreon the other day i wondered what the fuck that was and saskia is obsessed and i'm so here for it they've

got a kylie jenner one um shop my links right so basically there's this app called shop my and it's really useful because whenever someone says to me like what tan do you use i click the link and i share it because it's all saved my top links are all saved on my phone on the app so i share it with you not only can you buy it i make a few fucking pennies off it as well why not why why not right but if you're an influencer message me and i'll send you my referral to get on there you don't have to be like hundreds of followers you can just apply to be on it right as if your mates are always saying yeah so if your friends or if if you work in like aesthetics or skin or whatever or if you're a hairdresser anything where you deal with any service any

service like if you're a girl recommending the same thing to loads of people and we all do it we're all you know yappers here so basically the other day i ordered a new cap and a pair of loafers off muumiu lovely i got 13 commission back on that order i got your own order on my own order because i used my link if you're buying something at a tenner i'm not really worth it if you're buying something 63 pounds right so you get the shop my you make the link you buy it with your own link this is new now is it illegal though um or against their rules i bet it is no no because it's you're buying yeah yeah um this is new that they've got these top designer brands on there so they've got like mu mu like all premium brands so if you're gonna buy an

expensive thing like yeah how fucking that makes that is really clever um my bathroom started yesterday oh my god the banging bang bang bang bang bang bang bang i had to be and i want to just lie on the bed and watch tv and do nothing you know that's what i do and um yeah i couldn't but i've used a company called cascade bathrooms they've been absolutely amazing so far and i'm sharing my journey with you guys last one on my list this week if you love the perfect nude nail which that's gorgeous ashley if you're here i'm guessing you do then check out harriet westmoreland So, I actually do have the privilege of saying I have had a Harriet Westmoreland manicure before.

Which is, like, the epitome of all manicures. Actual Harriet did my nails once. She's supposed to be amazing. Oh, no. It was worth every penny. I'm not telling you how much it was. And it was sensational. Like, she does, like, Rosie Huntington's nails.

She does nails for, like, the cover of Vogue. She's such a cool girl. If you want, like, a treat. She's such a fucking cool girl. and she has brought out her own range of gels and we all talk in patreon and if you buy your signature two gel i've got two i've got i think shade one and shade two don't quote me on that i'll post them on patreon um but don't get the polish get the gel polish because then whenever you go to your nail lady i take it so i leave it in my car my nail polish and then whenever i go to

my nail appointment then they put it technically they should do a cheaper appointment because you're not using that guys have a look i agree over to you so mine's a bit of a weird mishmash actually a jumble mine's a bit of a jumbly wumbly right do you mind if i put some lip gloss as long as you're listening right okay so so i got i am really slow to right okay let's go i got the tonic the tonic health kids range of vitamins so tonic man came on ages ago we loved him he's got kids himself it was like you need to be careful with how much shit is in the vitamins you're giving your kids the vitamin there's sugar in them they don't do what they're meant to do so he's brought out a range now the reason i actually bought my first one about four months ago they do baby

vitamins from six months and up really yeah you really are to find you drop it into the milk can't taste it uh they've got everything they fucking need because did you joke um health visitors say when when they get to a certain age like six months they need extra vitamin d you need to give it them i didn't know that anyway that's in there if you're not breastfeeding yeah and i didn't know so it's got that in it and all sorts just a little pipette you drop it in and then the kids one and they do a calm one so if your kid's a bit of a maniac it's got ashwagandha in it which i didn't think you could give kids you clearly can anyway i've got all those for the kids i've been use them for a bit they love them because they think the sweets oh god i think lauren elizabeth

gets discounted is it lauren i'm gonna guess yeah i'm gonna guess it's lauren elizabeth i'm gonna say lauren elizabeth um i also got right there's a brand called i don't know how you pronounce this you'll have seen it e-t-o-i-l-e etoile etoile looks oh the polka dot oh my god i love that brand you can take it when i've taken on holiday so it's i ordered it yesterday i got An extra small. I did ask her which size because they do an XXS. She said get XXS.

Doesn't she do swimming costumes? She did. I've had a swimming costume before. And it's like a long... Girls, you're going to love it. It's a long sheer. So you'd wear it over a bikini at a beach club. Like that and boa style.

Yeah. And it's white with black polka dots. One. It's got... And they've got a pink one. Honestly, they had a headscarf to match. It's fucking... I've ordered a few things off the Scouse brand, right?

I don't know. Could be. Usually Scouse. They know their shit. Honestly, girls, go and look because it's about 90 quid i think it was gorgeous i ordered that yesterday um the cordial that i spoke about that i didn't tell you the name it's called rocks r-o-c-k-s rocks is that got like electrolytes in it no it's just it's cordial that the kids can have and it is just

pressed juice no shit because we don't give the kids cordial anymore for that reason m&s men's clothes are going off especially the holiday there's a secret we can tell you but we can't tell you yet not yet um so so i actually sent a screenshot of that person on the m&s website when i went on anyway um anyway um m&s men are doing some lovely lovely summer clothes not that expensive and it shows you how to put the outfit together which is really helpful i've just booked a holiday don't go and book it till i've been but i'm gonna tell you where it is anyway it's called ella hellier and it's in rose and it's meant to be all inclusive but luxury aesthetically pleasing

with all the kids no no no no no just tommy okay and fear's away with a grandma and granddad oh so we've got a week where fear's away with a grandma and granddad so i don't feel guilty she's in spain not my like she's having a not my beef not my not my problem um so i've got that week so i thought fuck it let's take tommy away why not because we can't afford to go this these kinds of hotels now that are looks all inclusive there's seven of us i really didn't rate um i cost no a few people have said that but seven people at a looks all inclusive you're talking ridiculous money so what we do instead is they can when we've got them all together we do like a turkey one and then when i've got a lesson that's so even it's expensive but not ours and

when i've got like the fewer is long when i've got fewer i go for the top end so five star it's meant to be really really good but don't quote me we've got a swim up room i'll tell you when i've been but have a look at it i also randomly bought a red and white men's check shirt from next it was 17 pounds in the sale tell you why i bought it i've got this vision because red's in as we know with denim i got this red budweiser cap it's really cool and i'm gonna wear like a white bikini you just love budweiser so much a red budweiser cap and i'm gonna either tie it around my waist or have it like loose over me with denim shorts i just think it's gonna look really cool so if you've got a grey tracksuit i am sad i think it would look nice tied around

the waist as well um i do love a tracks shirt for a tie around the waist with with a grey tracksuit with the red like if you get cold you can put it on i really like it so i got that and it's on sale um and then i got the door and rose eye masks and their pjs are sick so they're at mulberry silk um which i believe is the good stuff so it stops your eyes really really good i won't be washing them oh the pajamas yeah yeah because someone will have to do me after i had one of the babies and i'm not slagging you off by the way very grateful for this gift a pair of pajamas and i googled them because i was like oh these are nice yeah i'll get some more they were like 400 pound pajamas and they're mine weren't they're dry clean only and i was like oh that's annoying i don't

know i'm gonna get my mom to do it but so door and rose they have the big eye masks and they have pajamas and they are silk and they have all different cute colors look very nice i've worked with them lauren 10 um mine are brown chocolate brown oh and they do a leopard print which is i love leopard print pajamas very sad i expect you to think because i always wear leopard print i'm trying to be i'm trying to be sexy more bougie i i'm here for that i feel like now the house is getting renovated i'm we'll talk about in another episode but i my era is about to change are you not going to be relatable anymore no what i mean is i am ready for soft girl oh my god i'm so ready for soft i've met me and my niece again we're having this chat about soft

girl talk about we need to laugh about that comment why why do you want to be a wag so much someone commented and me and Lauren were literally like who wouldn't want to be a wag that's like the dream like

like what chilled as fuck so yeah I I think we should talk about this in another episode about soft girl stuff because I'm moving

into that era very shortly because I'm done with being this boss bitch I actually don't want to be so we'll talk about that in another episode

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