Nip Tuck - Charging Family for Christmas Dinner?

Episode Date: December 10, 2025

Lauren tells us about her horrific ear piercing experience, Ashley fills us in on her trip to London and would you charge your family for Christmas Dinner? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello guys and welcome to Nib Tug. Not giving a fuck. It's December. So it was Thea's birthday. Right, let's recap because we've not seen each other for... I don't know really. A long time. A bit.

So, first of all, yeah, I had Thea's birthday weekend, which, oh my god. Yeah, Saskia's was the other week. It's a lot. Like, end of November, December, kids. And January even. It's Snowy's next week. It's a lot, isn't it? It's a lot.

It's Ed's, Saskia's, Snowy's, my sister's. It's horrific, that. Ed's, Dad's. Why is loads of people born in November? Because everyone was shagging on Valentine's. What, that one time a year that you shag? Yeah, it must be. Isn't it like that there's loads of people born in September

because people shag in January because they've done Christmas and they're like, oh, I'm bored, I'll have a kid. I got pregnant with theory. like feb february or march so yeah i don't know gross me and you must have bonked on the same they're a year apart no i know but at the same time we must have been feeling frisky anyway right yeah thea's birthday so like you you make the stress that you want to make don't you really and i decided that this birthday was going to be a huge stress but i've said before i said to her you can either have a party or you can have a

birthday weekend i'd rather do a birthday weekend than a fucking shitty ass kids party because i absolutely hate that i hate spending the money on it and i don't like kids so it's the last thing i want and at this time of year it's like no fuck off and i hate play centers and i just hate the whole thing so we did a birthday weekend so i told you i was going to start with every man's cinema right first of all so we went to see something called i think it's called like zootropolis too Oh, I've seen it. Yeah, the animated thing. Really, really good, actually. But anyway, no, he was. So, we went there and...

She's such a gimp. Listen, I had to go and watch it and it was funny. I liked it. Anyway, my point is this, right? So, we're sat there in this little everyman cinema. So, it's got like cinema... Posh chairs. Posh chairs and posh sofas and stuff. You can get wine.

Right. I had a hot... Baileys. Hot apple spiced mulled wine. Gorgeous. anyway i looked at the side there's a kid's party in front great disgusting whatever there's a mom and a daughter thought that was a bit weird but whatever older no no old like our age right no gets worse disney adult look to my left there's a fucking couple there in there right tell me what you think about this they must have been if i was to guess late 20s early 30s watching watching zootropolis 2 i couldn't stop staring at them i have with my syndromes i can't go to

the cinema i mean i don't love going i i don't like watching films i haven't got the attention span i wouldn't choose on my own to ever go to the cinema but i went obviously i used to do it when i was like 14 when i wanted to get fingered somewhere yeah yeah yeah do you know what i mean like it was the only fucking place. It's dark, it's hidden, it was much more. Obviously, oh, let's go and watch a film and you can figure me. And if it's scary, I can start screaming.

Yeah, it's much more. And then, oh my God, do you remember thinking he's going to put his arm around me, and then you put his arm around me and you'd lean, you'd be so uncomfortable, but you'd stay like that the whole time, like leaning into them. And you'd be like.

Yeah, and you'd be like nervous. And you didn't want to breathe. Yeah, you're like. And you're trying to eat your popcorn. Very low you like. I never used to eat, so I used to pretend I wasn't hungry and I really, really was.

anyway what do you think honestly late 20s early 30s at everyman cinema watching zootropolis 2 tell me what how how this could have happened do you know what because if it was like aladdin remake or like sorry that's shut the fuck up no you know what i mean like what are those ones like no christina or the beauty and the beast one oh you and adam would go and watch Beauty and the Beast no I suppose no I wouldn't go with a friend you're a gimp no I think that is more acceptable because at least it has a bit of like nostalgia yeah I get it yeah still Zootopolis or whatever Zootopolis 2 an animated thing as a couple sat there together um but anyway why were they there right and I just kept side eyeing thinking why so my only thought of what

this could be is it was number one a last minute date and they were like oh let's go to everyman that's all that's on because they're so in love and they're so like oh like hot they were like fuck it they didn't look like they would be very steamy but they were like fuck it let's go and let's just be together that was spontaneous yeah when you go to the airport and you're like whatever the first flight is we're going like zootropolis maybe they were like look let's go to everyman oh that's all that's on yeah i really want to see you tonight right fuck it let it be fun they didn't look fun but that's one option my second option was they booked to something else and got it wrong why they fell into the wrong cinema or they wanted to get no not a place to

be getting fingered anyway right so that was my first thought on it all we went to watch that it was gorgeous next day morning breakfast because on our house if it's your birthday you pick the morning breakfast and you get it the day before so so thea wanted waffles and this and that like you get a special breakfast that you might not normally be allowed or whatever it might be yeah whatever we have like your thing and we all have it and we make a big thing of it and the person stays upstairs until we've made it so we did that then we did presents then straight to ninja warrior wow disgusting then after that we went so this is the story i've got for you so we went to get the years ears pierced right where um at that gaff with the man yeah the deposit man

the deposit man fucking should have known right so get your twat i think twat's even not even the word so we get there she's so excited to get these ears pierced right you fucking would be that's like such a big deal bear in mind she started counting that's such a big deal she counted started counting down a birthday every day at the beginning of november and it's the 29th so it went on so excited so me thea james's other little girl and my mum we all go for this ear piercing walking and the reason i chose i'm gonna say what it's called it's called fancy that in rotten store never ever go there oh fancy that fancy that fucking hell so we go in and i did get a weird vibe right so you know when you go in somewhere they've got all those dangly

dream catchers and it's a bit like odds and ends and it smells a bit misty and they sell in set a bit what i thought this man bit witchy poo bit witchy poo this man comes out but i thought look they've been there years yeah like and if you want your ears pierced in Rochdale

you go fancy that you go fancy that clearly not so we're going and this man who I'd spoken to on the phone she's all like

hello comes out and he was like hello and I said hiya I've spoken to you on the phone hello

looked at me I was like about my daughter yeah well if you have to pay up front I said that's fine 20 quid not an issue to me

I will lose it if I lose it she'll do it but there's that earring or that earring and i thought just two earrings and i was like okay right okay and then she whispers to me mom i need this bathroom so i went and as she whispered it to me he went what she not want to do it now no and i went fuck off i went i went she wants to do it and she will do it she'd like to go to the toilet well it's three floors up it's in the apartment so when i went

right can you hold it and she was like uh and i just started thinking this is off then he goes points at the other our other little girl she's gonna have to go in the car with you to my mum can't have any more than one other person

in the room because the kids put each other off I say she ain't getting put off she wants it done no she'll have to sit out there

I've got no insurance for it and I just something it just something wasn't right I hope you walked out he was in his

I'm gonna say late 60s early 70s I'm gonna say and the vibe was off off off

I'm getting twitchy listening to this so I looked at my mum and I just went to him this feels really really negative do you even want to do this and he was like well I said you know what did you fully say this these were my exact words because I was fucking lost my temper then because you know me I'm very la la la but it's my kid like I was angry and I said this feels really negative do you want

to do this and he went well you've come in and I went do you know what we're not doing this absolutely I said Thea other one out we're not doing this my mum was like oh and I said you're not doing it there's not a chance and he went go you he went yeah thank you and he went fine then and we went and then i farted in there but then i didn't hadn't paid by this point i would have done though fuck that i did but and as we were walking out fear's face because she thinks she isn't getting her ears pierced anymore and i wanted to form one mode and i was like she was like looked at me i went we are getting your ears pierced today no matter what you don't you worry they are happening but not in here weird because you know how we recorded that last episode right

i then do you remember me saying julie perry had said to me ashley i'm in hail at this jewelry shop opening and i went to meet tanya bardsley and amy yes straight from this recording and the guy was like we do air piercing here it was gorgeous shot he had all these different things like it should be and tori that does those bracelets more of those um i'll check something yeah because i've written it down tori that does the bracelets she came to the house to do astaras and snowys do you remember yeah i remember she had like hundreds like lovely how it should be really so she was like panicking i was like where were you in rotten in rotten salt i was like we're getting it was now center it was three o'clock and i went we're getting them done no matter what happens you're

getting them done because she was panicking she was panicking so i get in the car now weirdly enough so then i go around the corner there's a tattoo i'm googling googling my fear is looking at me i'm going mommy will sort it it's going to i thought i'll pierce my fucking self if i have to i have pierced someone's ears before so i probably could i found a gun at my old job we found a person i remember and we just pierce each other's ears so i can't do it went into this tattoo shop nearby and i went oh any chance i'm panicking because it's weird and she went i know i know exactly who you mean she said i know exactly who you mean and you're not the first person to say that we don't do piercing i'm really sorry but so glad you didn't go to him right i am thinking

about ringing up the council anyway so then weirdly enough that morning one of my friends one of my like who's got kids at the same age had texted in the group she just got her little girl's ears pierced that morning weird so i rang her and i went emma where did you get fifi's ears done i need to go now and she was like uh one minute one minute name fifi yeah philia god you know stunning um she was like she went they were fantastic and it's called because everyone's asked me actually since i posted that she got it done glimora and it's in radcliffe so it was half an hour away ring them up can you fit us in now my little girl i've just seen a weird man and she's it's her birthday she was so nice she was like get down chill out you are good we will do it

sophia's like yay mommy and i'm like mom have you got time it's half an hour away mom's like yeah absolutely hot foot over there she went in it was clean it was gorgeous the woman was sort of our age reviews for fancy that oh my god oh my god read some so anyway she gets them done the ear the earrings were beautiful he's got three stars okay zero stars arrogant owner piercing heel badly refused to take it out when i couldn't and i went back friend got a nose piercing and the guy seemed really rude and he couldn't be arsed i would not recommend this shop the owner was so rude to me and my children just for looking around the shop then he shouted at my son for picking up a box of incense sticks i told you it was weird

went in to get my nose pierced he put a stud in and then told me to come back a few days he's very unprofessional told you um he stabbed a really thick needle through my nose when i got home it started bleeding i told you i do not recommend this place his quality and professionalism were off told you something was off so then i told you nah you need to report so i told my cleaner um i hate saying my cleaner because she's like i've done it for years she's like she's not even that she's like my friend anyway so i told i told her and she said you're not gonna fucking believe this now i don't know if i can repeat this because allegedly she's gone in i'll be careful she'd gone in with a daughter and let's just say she got a very very inappropriate

vibe so anyway she told me something so she said you need to ring somewhere so i've got two thoughts in my mind now with whether i'll do any because i'll be too busy number one was i was going to ring him and i was going to say just so you know my daughter read the reviews read your reviews my daughter was looking forward to that she's eight years old you're horrible you the way you want to be ashamed so that's my first i might do that as well second thing was ringing i don't know the council and saying go and check it out something's off because how is it still going anyway any stories about fancy that do tell us so that was my weekend then we went to london you went to london i went to the christmas you do london first and then i'll do i went to

london stayed at claridge's right no more than that more than that you went to london did you go on the train did you drive you drove fine you got there in three hours amazing tell us about claridge's at christmas yes it's just the best like the best best and took full advantage of the hotel wow the new spa is that the one that's like a seven star is it a thingy one underground what's the name of six senses i can't remember it's a something spa what the hell is it i don't know but it was gorgeous so what did you do because people like this tell us start to finish people i love drove down left the house at 8 a.m got there by quarter past 11 nice that's good gave the car keys to the guy outside just took the car off um went in had a little um cup of tea

went on a little walk around a few shops bought the coat so tell us the shop she went to chanel i saw chanel but you have lots of bags well you didn't just get the coat on i bought everyone's christmas presents and what which bits did you can you say yeah do you know they sell men's ties in chanel in london oh and they are are they really classic stunning if you were a tie wearer or you want to work because he is and his dad and his business partner and stuff and usually we just get Louis Vuitton or Hermes and they've got hundreds of them yeah and when as soon as Ed saw the Chanel ones he was like no perfect and he is obsessed for Chanel because he buys it for me um so went in there then you got the coat describe the coat Friday when he wasn't seeing it the

Coco Niage ski jacket so it's basically this is my description which is not going to make it sound the money um it's like it's like a patent black puffer coat but has Chanel-y stuff on it's gorgeous it is gorgeous I'm trying to describe it I'm not doing it justice you will have forever yeah it'd be gorgeous

on a ski holiday it kind of gives me like ski old money old money ski vibes yeah and I bought the hat that goes with it what's the hat like

you know the aviator hat and when the fuck are you going to wear that because you don't go in the outdoors I'm going to Switzerland and in winter near us

you can go sledging on this place you need to come with the kids right so everyone that lives near there go sledging there

together a communal sledge I will wear the hat well you better wear it indoors I will wear the hat to recording actually do you remember that time I wore that big fluffy hat everyone loved it

I've still got that hat wear it all the time you did a little walk around you went to Chanel I had to buy the hat it's beautiful it's i mean it is actually it's better than i thought i thought that is something again you will have me i thought it was gonna be the puffer like a little patent puffer and i was thinking

it's a shilling it's beautiful it's beautiful and you can hold its value and you can sell it if you ever want um actually sold a bacon oh did you yeah so you sold a bloody bag so i sold a bag so i was allowed to spend because this is my new thing one out one in one in one out i wish i could do it with the kids yeah yeah when one's annoying like right you're too old and boring now you are new one in um nothing really much more to say no there is where did you go for dinner uh to a chinese near the hotel because we were poshed out right so you don't have to need tea did you have to need tea at claridge's have you ever done it yes with my mom i took her for a birthday and they let you eat as many sandwiches as you like it's a very not you

comment to make yeah but no i didn't expect that and they let you eat as many butties as you want so um then the sandwiches are too posh for me i don't think i get any uh the cucumber one i probably get that they were too posh and they were like you know in the thin finger sandwiches so he was like because you're staying in the hotel i've made you a box of sandwiches shut up so i put them in the hotel bar fridge and then me and ed was snacking on them and then on the way home we're like i would sit in bed in the evening and the carriages tea is so you had afternoon tea then you just went to chinese because it was a bit too posh you were done with the posh yeah and then you stayed over was it just one night one night one night and i saw you got room service breakfast

which looked so nice and a kai bowl i love hotels i love a hotel and it was like a nice suite but not a big suite because in a big suite you feel a bit lost and in the morning ed likes to go to the gym and then i sit there in the suite like but it was cozy cozy but it was cozy yeah gorgeous did you buy anything else did you buy the purse you took a picture of the fluffy purse no i like that but i don't know how wet realistic it is i know but that was stunning wasn't it yeah was it really expensive as well it will have been it was like yeah and you've got to kind of look at it at price per word yeah and then um it was your coat for years and years the kids were all ill when i Did you do the thing you said you were going to do

where you were going to go to Harrods, you were going to picture the things and then on the way home... I've ordered Snowy's birthday presents as well. Tell us what you've got the kids for Christmas, if you can remember. Baby Annabelle. Yeah, classic.

Then some walkie-talkies. Kids love those. Why? But why do they love walkie-talkies? Is it because it's like the closest thing to a mobile phone? Probably. I was obsessed, though, before. I bought them mainly like outdoor presents

because then they're outside. Ah, great idea. You know, like new bikes and shit like that. Yeah. And boys, I bet Teddy loves stuff like that. And then Snowy and Saskia, I bought them matching like... Don't want to sound like a dick.

Are you going to sound like a dick? Yeah. Chanel backpacks. No, it's fine. That's cute. And then... Oh, imagine them toggling along. Then I got them the Jellycat limited edition Christmas ones,

the bunnies with the ski suits on gorgeous and then for Teddy he's got the boy one which is the bear with the ski suit on that's lovely

I think things like that so they're all like fair so this is what how because how no with you know with five

and I know with three so hard if you're not fair and it's whose present's bigger than mine and you're trying to explain well yours costs

five hundred pounds it's your life it's really difficult and you can't so honestly like stuff like those jelly cats where they're all the same i agree and then you both will use a bag so it's the same yeah when they're older they can appreciate costs which we're at with a lot of ours but one thing that

james and i well i because james is just whatever he's a man what i do is on my notes i have because we've got fucking tally it up and i tally it up we've got five like so i have everyone's name and then we write down each time we get the present how much it was even if it's bits of shit tenner tenner tenner because before you know it you've bought 10 bits of shit and it's 100 pounds and it looks like you've not bought that much so then at the end just before christmas you look at one's bag and you think fuck their sack isn't big enough and you go and panic buy a shit ton of stuff and then you think oh i've got too much now so we tally it so we've spent roughly the same on every child and i think we have to do that because otherwise you can get

really carried away really carried away and also what we spoke about last year was we did that panic buying oh panic buying panic buying pointless panic buying shit do you know what james has done which really pissed me off he's bought the middle boy loads of lego now no i hate but with the baby you need to be careful because it's i know i hate lego we have nowhere in that when we move much easier but right now there ain't no space you're into miniverse oh is that the little painty mini things yeah yes so i have actually haven't got hers yet but i'll tell you what i have got which i'm going to post on my insta so the littlest girl is really into k-pop demon hunters it's really hard saskia loves it it's really hard to get i'll send you the link

it's really hard to get any actual legit merch yeah but and zara have just done a k-pop range but it's older kids she's younger so i bought a blankie i found on etsy a woman a white sweater It's a really lovely quality. It's printed but nice and then personalised with the name on. I'll send it to you because they love personalisation, don't they, kids?

So I've got her that. What have I got for you? What has she got? They wanted a doll's house to share. Oh my God, I was on the list for that fucking doll's house. Tell me,

so I saw you posting Patreon. How much is it? Why is it? You said it was extortionate. What is it? No, the doll's house was cheap. That one that I wanted, wait, let me find it.

It's from this brand. So you actually basically posted in Patreon. It's a girl in Liverpool that makes these dollhouses, you would have bought one as well if you could have found it. Was it beautiful? They don't make them anymore like that.

We got a cracking one from Asda, you know, a couple of years ago. I got one from the charity shop. And it's beautiful. But it's been, because it was used before, it has been... Like wrecked. Wrecked, yeah.

And it's got like the wallpapers peeling off and stuff like that. So tell us the person... I'm just trying to find my link that I sent to Jo. um so you found one that you wanted which was a girl based in liverpool and i think it was 170 pounds i think that's okay no but she puts like your family name on i think that's i think that's okay for something that's going to last years and 70 or 250 with all the furniture i i personally i mean you can get them ours was from asda 40 quid but it's bloody gorgeous but

it's very hard to get cheaper ones it actually is really cute not like that though not as nice as that um but i would if it was a doll's house that i thought my daughter would play with all year for a good few years hand it down to the little sisters whatever i think that's reasonable so she's sold out has she sold out you had to go on a wait list so i went on it and my pa went on it here it is it was called tink hello oh that is absolutely beautiful tink hello any chance Pink Hello 94. Any chance? And she must be based in Liverpool

because it says, if you are local to me, Liverpool. Right. So then you told me that you found, you looked at another one and it was extortionate. Yeah, like the ones that are like that one.

And honestly, I can't find anything. So if anyone's got any dolls, like really beautiful. That will be delivered in time. Because that house doesn't look like a doll. It looks like a house made in, that is so beautiful. It looks like a London,

it looks like Buckingham bloody Palace. sold out in under one minute we had over 400 live customers in the first minute on the site i will be in touch with everyone that's ordered wow no it's absolutely beautiful and yeah but sometimes oh my god i forgot to tell you so for thea's birthday she has these two bunnies derrick and tracy she named them derrick and tracy and they are little jelly pink jelly cats that are now not pink anymore she's had them since she was like one or something and they go everywhere with her she adores them and she said for a birthday she really wanted them she said she wanted them to have a baby but the brother and sister so i was like and she was like no mom they're not having

a baby i'm having the baby they're my children i was like right so you want to give birth to another child she was like yeah i want to anyway found this little jellycat a mini jellycat bunny and it's white called preemies tiny i had to get it off ebay because i couldn't get them anywhere and i put it in like i've been that i put it in like a thing i put all like stuff around it as if it had been delivered from a stalk blah blah anyway but the reason i'm telling you is she's called it snowy oh and i was like gorgeous and she went after ashley's little girl snowing i think that's beautiful because it's getting winter and i thought so we've got a snowy now well how weird is this the other day um because you know my friend amy had her baby she had the baby oh yeah

it's stunning and um he didn't have a name for like the first few hours and saskia wrote a list and sent Amy a video with the list of names I'll send it to you and Tommy was her favourite boy name. Oh, see, this is what we want. And she said Chester. I think that's such a cute boy name.

That would suit your family, Chester. I think it's a little bit too... That's a very... That's a knobhead name, Matt. You'd be fucking naughty. Yes, it's Chester. Ches? Yeah, that's a knobhead.

Don't do that, Ches. That is a rugby boy. Do you know Ches are pissed in the cup. i feel like that's that's about legit so you went to london yeah you got the gift um more catch up i went on sunday to yes megan i was with her yesterday she was telling me oh i love her so we went to the foden's christmas um party i guess so basically it was in oh god i'm so bad i don't even know where it was somewhere starting with an n it's a big forest and it was like a light up forest the magical woodland maybe so we walk around there and then um phil and becca had like a

a teepee yeah and becca's absolutely lovely really normal she's stunning really she's very pretty very nice skin very normal legit down to earth now i didn't realize i know phil foden's a famous footballer of course i do we're not that into but i'm not into football and i didn't realize how big he is i didn't know james like he's like top 10 in the entire world like he is one of the best football players i didn't know i knew he was obviously how old are they they're like 25 right and james went no lauren he is one of the best it was in the whole world i was like oh shit i didn't realize and so down to earth and lovely so we went there and there's like loads of people we knew and stuff like that and he was so kind so down to earth becca's lovely anyway little ones

they've got three little ones one similar to tommy i think really just sort of just genuine and albie um james's eldest was kind of really wanting to get a picture with him but you know you don't want to bother people but he was fine he was taking pictures and stuff and albie was just kind of like hanging around him and phil literally went to him do you want a picture mate went out of his way and he's oh would you mind because they're big city fans and becca was lovely we saw megan there um and we saw tanya bardley who literally took tommy the second she walked in she's like give me that baby took the baby off it was really nice she's so funny she's like give me a fat baby give me a fat baby um it was really lovely um steph ledigo organized it all and it was really really

nice and the kids amazing steph's amazing we had a really good time yeah megan said it was gorgeous it was a lot it was a lot and then monday morning i woke up yeah and i was like right birthday's finished it's now christmas went around stabbing stabbing the fuck out of the 60 pound balloons it It was like 20 quid, 30 quid, 40 quid, 50 quid, 60 quid. I literally felt like every balloon I stabbed was a tenner. I let mine let them out. Is that not good for the environment? I would have done, but I was on one,

and it was the morning she'd gone to school. Everyone, nuke them for God's sake. I was literally like, that's five, a tenner, 20, 30. You were like the man in, what's it called? Scream. No, the piercing shot. Oh, yeah. Stab, nuke them for God's sake.

Nose piercing, eyebrow piercing. So I stabbed them all and fucked them off. had to get the tree down and it was like full on birthday done Christmas mode I'm like that with the cards fuck off

literally got them all and I literally did a mind swing whoosh bye bye I kept so brothers and sister wrote a one and it was beautiful

and they wrote like one of James's he's so sensitive he was writing we love you so much you are the best sister in the world and I thought well keep that

the rest of them whoosh mind sweeping cards are such a waste of money she loves them though she loves cards yeah not me

and oh yeah very sentimental reads them reads every word so i kept the one i wrote to her because i always wrote something nice because i knew she was going to read it and um i kept the one from the siblings but then the rest whooping by and then she came home to a christmas wonderland as if nothing else had ever happened so that's why i'm that's why i'm tired i discovered zeta west because i've spoken before about my fertility struggles um my what was meant to be IVF journey and that's when I really immersed myself in all things fertility I wanted to make sure that I had done everything in my power to have healthy eggs healthy sperm a healthy pregnancy give yourself the best start because I didn't know until you told me that Zita West she's the UK's

leading fertility expert literally she's literally got like 40 years experience so everything that they put together although I like the way they've got it in packages so you can buy like when you're pregnant every first trimester second try and you buy it in a pack with the right thing trying to improve your egg qualities but post it post i actually carried on using it i still take the coq10 honestly the coq10s are literally elite also their website is so so informative a great resource for anyone who is thinking about getting pregnant is pregnant is starting an ivf journey or is postpartum you forget postpartum don't you really do and they've actually got a pack for postpartum so you can buy that and you've got it to use like you know what you're taking i think

sometimes like you're going to supermarket you get oh a pregnancy vitamin and it's the same one that you take through your whole pregnancy but actually at different stages of pregnancy you need different things as the baby gets bigger and everything so i love that zeta west honestly has been our go-to hasn't it lauren i really like i've got a code but we've actually got a nip tuck one as well so nip talk gets you 15 off site wide at z to s.com so you can use that if you want to either get on your fertility journey or if you're pregnant now and you want to start one use per customer exclude subscriptions thank you z to west for sponsoring this episode so i was watching a tiktok and i needed to relay this to youtube because i know that you two do

this oh god i dread to think picking nose you drink your drinks out of glass straws at home yeah yeah i do yeah right oh what now what now right so i was watching his tiktok and this girl is in intensive care and she is like don't fucking drink out of glass straws what good the shards of glass and i'm there like this yeah with your glass straw in your mouth yeah is it the shards of glass she said she was literally she must have

gone like that oh no and before she knew it she was like huh then she was like oh shit that's not good

an hour later blood work she goes straight to A&E oh my god she's had to have a whole

like to find it it's ripped up her inside so it's smashed a bit she's sucked up it's gone inside and it's such tiny shards of glass

think it'll be going through Your lungs, your digestive system, everything. Fuck. And I buy mine off like Temu and shit. Yeah, same. Mine is shit water. Yeah. And I put mine in the dishwasher as well.

That is... The kids might drink out of a glass one. No, I know. That's why I had to make sure that I speak about that. Wow, that is incredibly... That is really scary. Imagine coughing the blood. I think, though, it's like...

I think we're going to be seeing a bit more of that because the straws are shit. you're on a night out shit oh they get all and i like to you know nurse my drink and they go like oh so mine's the pasta straw and the this straw and they're not the same so oh shit bring back somebody needs to make a straw that is not doesn't go wet the metal ones but then you can't see if they're dirty inside that's the other thing so i got fear i can't remember what the brand was a water bottle something with like a straw but it was like a not plastic it was what it was meant to be good whatever and then i was cleaning it because obviously clean it

it gets fucking molding yeah they come with a cleaner yeah like a tube like fuck like a chimney hard work well yeah guys be careful with your glass drawers um right now dilemma right what go on what's going on in everyone because this is a dilemma and a half guys i do christmas dinner for everybody at my house every year there is usually between 12 and 16 of us at my house every year with the cost of living crisis that has been looming over the last four years i have found myself having to put around 800 pounds in december to one side do you think it's fair to ask everyone for a small contribution to food when i am hosting people do bring the odd bottle of wine but in the grand scheme of things now the 800 pounds versus the six pound bottle of wine you

brought token isn't really cutting it right so i think it's fair if they're family then i think it's fair and you know what i was doing my christmas shop the other day and there's only a few people at my house and yes are you cooking yeah i cook with my mum but like m&s cook oh not like cook cook um and my ocado is already yeah about three four hundred pound it's a lot of money a lot of money and i right let's do the math so say there's 14 is the minimum yeah and you charge 50 pound an adult and i think that's excessive you go to the fucking restaurant for that no you couldn't on christmas no you couldn't actually i tell a lie yeah i tell a lie i right let's call it 40 quid right what's that add up to

560 quid so i absolutely that is at least a contribution yeah no i fully fully agree i think you should not be paying out for it it's not fair at all 50 quid is 700 and it's also the fact that they can turn up they're not washing up they're not washing up they're not prepping all morning not really you just do the odd scrape don't you see it looks like you're helping then you put it on the side that's what i did and also they just expect i guess yeah but they might not be thinking of it like that they won't they won't be and they probably don't know the cost of it and the other thing is um you have chosen to have them is the other thing i'm not saying that you should pay for it but don't forget you probably invited them i would assume if you've got 14 people

yeah yeah you've said yeah instead of saying oh guys i'm not doing it this year why don't we go out for a bit of dinner which is actually more expensive but or do you know what i think we're gonna keep it small but then at least it's not costing her 800 quid so i think part of me thinks here like stop inviting everyone if if it's gonna kill you off don't do it but i also think it's fair to say guys i actually really enjoy doing it i really enjoy doing it or maybe what i would do is i would start it after the last one i'd be like right guys i'm not doing it next year or someone else's turn or i'll do it again next year but it cost me absolute fortunes if you want if we want to do it i'm gonna need we're gonna need a kitty doesn't even have to be i think if you

phrase it like you have to pay for your dinner picture the fucking receipt of yeah if it's like i feel like if you say you have to pay for your dinner it feels a bit whereas you can literally just say guys it cost me x last year if we're doing it next year i'm gonna need x amount each you do it as a bit of a just tell them in january if we do it next year i think it's okay she's saying is 800 quid right so that's everything from food booze i don't know if that's booze it's gotta be really because to be eight yeah a few glasses of food bottles of wine although that is that's yeah that's that's right where is she buying it from i feel like that how much is a turkey like 50 quid knows but i think what they should do is like when we go to my

brothers for christmas my mom will bring like everyone brings yeah right if there's 14 that's seven couples what if you don't want their shitty ass starter yeah i suppose it's different because 14 is so a lot of people so then it gets a bit and then also what if it's cold when it's yeah and time right here you go a turkey can cost from approximately 10 pounds to over 100 pounds well She's buying a £100 one. She's surely going to buy a turkey. Two. Two turkeys at least for that many people.

There's a lot of people. So I can see, I think... And what if someone's a fucking... Needs a vegetarian beef Wellington thing? Yeah, me mum. Me mum that. No, but do you know what I mean? Yeah, you've got tofu, whatever it is.

I'd be whacking on my service truck. I don't think there's a problem. And I'll need my nails done after that. I think if you know them well enough that you are spending Christmas day with them then you know them well enough to say

guys I can't afford to do that again bloody hell you're going to have to and then when it comes to next year if they don't want to pay they won't invite themselves

or whatever they can have their shitty dinner at the house or you can say we might as well go out for it I think there's no problem

in saying it but I also wonder why you've ended up with 14 people in your gaff because that's mad that's not I don't believe

I don't like 14 people I think that if say his mum and dad are separated or hers yeah right well they're not all gonna come though are they yeah but they might come and bring their partner yeah her mum so there's four yeah but what do you think on his side then her mum and dad

her brother and sister and their kids and then everyone goes well where are you yeah and then everyone goes well where are you going then yeah and she goes well i'm going to well where am i gonna go i'm on my own well you can come as well we've already and that's just adults so we went last year we went to my was it last year yeah i was pregnant so we went last year to my cousins we went to christians um and he is a fantastic i think there were i would say there's probably 10 of us and he didn't ask for a penny whatever he'd organized it but i did before we went i sent some money i didn't ask because i knew i'd get told no i just quickly sent a bit over and i was like listen i know it's going to cost you a bomb but not everybody would do that or think to do that

so i think guys if you go in this is another thought because sometimes we don't think with some money in it to help out so if you are going your appreciation if you go in this year even if it's your mum and dad like either get them something decent for christmas 50 quid in a car or put give them a bit of money or i think offering to contribute they're probably always going to say no don't really offer send it over give them some cash just think about them this year because i probably wouldn't it's really expensive but it's also a hell of a lot of pressure it's a lot for 14 it's not enjoyable is it it's not for me no i i won't be doing well where i've been at home but do you know i heard that gusto do an incredible christmas dinner well

somewhere near me foodie pants is called you can hide you can i think it's 50 quid ahead all comes perfect gorgeous yeah yeah whack it in the oven literally so this gusto one it comes with like you build your christmas dinner i think that's a bloody good idea i know and it comes with like everything i think that's a great idea i think has anyone got any other recommendations i mean we're cutting it quite close now fine but i just think it's stressful like it's stressful what i can promise you now is i will wait and see i say this a lot i will not be that person that's ruining their christmas day sweating my head off and i will not be that person and if that means nobody comes to my house i'm sat on my own with takeaway then so be it i will not be i'd rather pay go out

whatever i can't i'm not ruining it's always the women in the have you seen that kath um ryan shared it and oh was it katherine was it lala let me explain one of them and it shows right there's someone stood there and you can see the kitchen from one angle and the living room from the other and they're filming it in the kitchen there are about four or five women washing up this that the other it spins to the living room they're all sat there it's so true though how's that happened how has that happened i'm the one sitting and farting to be fair I'm picking my nose

and trumping so yeah I agree that any other dilemmas over Christmas I mean we are cutting it fine but we've got a week

let us know any Christmas dilemmas because I find those I find family logistics very interesting because it's like when you say well I want to invite

such and such but she can't if we don't invite such and such well we went to my mum's last year well my mum's on her own I love this

it's a tough time of year so I'm sending love to anyone who doesn't like the family and has to sit there with them and another thing after a bottle of wine

sending love to anyone right we're gonna carry this over to the bonus we've got more dilemmas Ashley wants to tell us about the

something about Ibiza final boss the Ibiza final boss has been fucking hell right so we need to know about that this is a bonus chat

this is a bonus chat it's a bit more in depth guys as well I know it gets tedious over Christmas there's only so many

shitty Christmas films you can watch can I just tell you how good Patreon actually is you can go back and while you're doing your bits and bobbins you're doing your christmas wrapping with a gorgeous little glass of wine you can go back and listen to all of the bonuses and

there are hundreds all on patreon and the chat is so unfiltered over there honestly you're gonna have an absolute hoot listening to them as well the chats that are on there we've got the mum chat the advice chat the treatment chat the surgeon list you've got everything and it really is an amazing online community that we built there's thousands of people on there all like-minded and you get loads of extras very proud on that so sign up the uh in our bio on instagram our link tree is that's it yeah i have nothing to do with love you love you guys bye