Nip Tuck - Christmas Gift Guide

Episode Date: December 4, 2024

Lot's of bing bong boo as usual this week! We give you a Christmas gift special on today's bargain bucket, as well as talking about surrogacy, nativity plays and are we addicted to cosmetic treatments? If you would like to gift someone a patreon subscription this Christmas then you use the link below. https://www.patreon.com/niptuckpod/giftTo listen to extra episodes each week then you can subscribe on Apple or sign up to Patreon patreon.com/niptuckpod Music courtesy of BMG Production Music Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

hello and welcome to nip tuck not giving up she's on the daily mail well i'm not on the daily mail cosmetic consults what happened so we're just sat here now just waiting to start recording she's scrolling she's like just sent it me oh so they put a picture of katie daly on there right and it's not her oh yeah um anyway hi guys yeah somebody famous was there right yes and then now it's in the daily mail from her photo dump yes nice um i thought you meant you were in it i was like oh what have you done what have i done now by the way what happened with that photo shoot you did when's that gonna be it's this weekend it's coming out this weekend this week is it in a paper i don't know things about papers anymore is it in a physical paper physical paper

and online you're definitely gonna frame that no because i look awful because it was the day i had the bender yeah the layer brush it though right no it's like stripped back natural it's like basically i went after i recorded last time when i was hung over you were really bad as well um you're very red very red i'm very red at the minute yeah i think it's when you've been in your car with the heating on as well and then you get out it makes all your veins to do with your and your hormones yeah i'm really red um so i had this photo shoot and basically it's a feature about people who look normal that have had loads of cosmetic surgery.

Who else was on it then? I wonder what others thought. No, I saw some of the other people's pictures. And were they faced as well? I don't... It was like you saw the pictures and then... Yeah, it is. So was it kind of like a bit like...

It's not tacky. Well, it's kind of like what we say. You've got an idea of what cosmetic surgery is, but you've got no... It's like when you say to your fellow, I'm getting my lips done, and they go, oh, you're going to look like fucking whatever she's called.

Leslie Ash, everyone used to say, didn't they? yeah you're gonna look like leslie ash and then when you go i'm getting my boobs done go and then you're like yeah i hope so i'm having my ass done if i'm lucky hon if i'm lucky hon gonna look like mickey minaj that would be like if you had a comparison so i've been thinking i know we've like actually got probably got shit to talk about but my mind my brain's already i have been thinking about my surgery list post baby i feel like when you get pregnant because you know you can't have anything done before i got pregnant you get jealous of people that having surgery so before i got pregnant i wasn't even thinking about surgery particularly but i

think partly because i knew i'd probably have another baby and you just like after that is this the last baby yes definitely yeah okay james might be listening um so last baby that james agrees to no i'm done listen if i all of a sudden become a millionaire yeah maybe but right now no um i'm done we had a really after my baby really interesting conversation about surrogacy some with someone last week um that my mind blown i went and told my mom and she was like because obviously she's a bit older she's like what and it was a really nice conversation and it was someone that was absolutely lovely and he had twins right and what they'd done he him and his husband i think they're married or partner i'm not exactly sure so let me just get this right

they had used one lady to donate her eggs right his sperm had fertilized one egg his husband partner i'm not sure if the sperm had fertilized the other definitely yeah so now we've got the same mom but different dads love then this is where shit gets mad the eggs weren't put back into that lady oh no that's too easy they were put into another lady yeah who was the surrogate right so she carried the twins so this lady's carrying two babies with a mum that isn't her and two different dads yeah all in her belly but isn't hers in any genetic way yeah whoa so thank god we can do stuff like that now yeah because he wouldn't have had that like wouldn't amazing it's amazing and they said they had an amazing experience yeah they did actually didn't

they did it was it cyprus they did it yes so the ivf doctor that i see um or saw he has a clinic in cyprus so you can go and see him for like pre-workup and he does gender selection right yeah and he does gender selection surrogacy like the laws are so different here the laws are so different which i get because we were saying with him as well is because of the like gray areas with surrogacy some didn't he say something like in this country the the surrogate does have rights so she could give birth and then be like actually i'm gonna have that yeah and i get why someone would do that they can still allegedly go after the baby even like months after the baby's been taken home by you but i get it in the sense of if you're not in the right headspace to do that

you've carried a bait i get that would fuck your head up if you weren't doing it for the right reasons or if you just so i can see why that might happen so you've got to be everyone's got to be protected this might not be true i might have made this up but i also i don't think you can pay you can't pay in the uk you can pay in expenses yeah so you can buy them like a car to travel because that is necessary yeah um and it has to be within like a reasonable yeah you can't take thing but in america you can fully like it's a money spinner some surrogates like elite elite surrogates that like the kardashians and stuff will earn millions so the other thing that he was saying that he said he found quite difficult was the pregnancy happened in cyprus right and he

was in the uk so he was like it was really difficult because i didn't know what she was doing like she we were like she could be smoking 20 mile per day you've got no control and then all of a sudden these babies come and i'm sure he said that they had to stay there for three three months for the past so they had to go back and forth it listen he's the girls are gorgeous and he's really happy and everything but the story was my mind i don't find any of that word i love it i don't find it i don't know what i don't think it's the right word fascinating like i am would you ever be a surrogate no would you ever use one yes right tell me why you wouldn't be one okay i wouldn't by the way we're just digressing here it's just an interesting one because being

pregnant is so hard and you do feel a connection to the baby because you feel it moving in your tummy it's totally and every night you're like oh it's me and the baby on our own and you never feel lonely i don't think you could in the baby i totally agree i'm not sure i could disconnect from that whether it was mine or not you share like it's weird and then your body your body it affects your body it'd have to be a lot of money it's for about six months you don't feel yourself however what if you said we've spoken about this and you said you'd do it for your sister for example not that she's asked but you know what i mean like a family member like that would why would you have one a surrogate yeah because honestly we've just been having a

conversation and lauren was like i think you're gonna get pregnant and i actually do think i might go and see the doctor see where you're at no no to go and free some embryos in cyprus because for me how busy i am now having the three kids the nature of our work yeah um i can afford it yeah i honestly think it would pay for itself the surrogate because as well to give birth privately to get birth privately here costs in total about the same as it would cost to go for your ivf and use the surrogate right okay so you're gonna it's gonna cost you that anyway the hospitals over there are all private and gorgeous right that you would have the baby in and i just think for the time off work the toll in which it takes on my relationship my body i agree my other kids

yeah i guess so yeah i just thought i watched the kardashians um and obviously some people have to so like i'm not but luckily you know i've not had to but i watched the kardashians and i found it did you watch it christina when chloe gets the baby i found the whole thing have you not seen paris hilton when she got the baby that was weird sorry that was just weird when she went into the hospital and they they put a band on her and they went to it paris do you want to come and watch your first baby be born and she went no i don't like blood or something i'm sorry i can't remember the exact which but she was like no i don't want to see it being born just bring it to me when it's here i just she lay in a hospital bed she got in the bed she got glowy did though as well didn't

she no it is it's a very psychological thing and to be fair like you you you do no but i would rather watch it come out and grab it yeah do you know i don't know i don't know because i've not done it but the whole when i watched chloe particularly if and mind you she was going through shit wasn't she but it felt very disconnected to me and i think she was you could tell she wasn't she she wasn't pretending it wasn't it was an awkward thing when i watched it she did say afterwards she said she found it hard she found it a lot harder than she because she saw kim go through and kim just kind of breezed through yeah i think everyone's different yeah but she said she found it hard to have so this got me thinking even further right this got

mean really thinking them so do you know how we are sometimes quite hard you're pretty good with this but quite harsh on men because they perhaps don't bond with the baby till it's born the same they don't care the same they don't really understand men thinking about it now the way i just said i don't know how i could manage with a surrogacy that's what men are doing their babies are not in their body their life doesn't change one day they go to a hospital they stand there and somebody passes them a baby which is very similar to a surrogate so how are they going to get that bonding expected to get that feeling as well um men often go through a very odd phase either just before you have the baby or just after you've had the baby whereby they realize

where they have an affair and leave you or is that something else they have affairs i've had that one oh yeah you have that or they go on like they change their whole like they start dying their hair they start like being so weird so basically it's because they're like that's my mommy not I want all the attention of my wife and then I can guarantee you all the toughest time in your relationship will be when you need them the most yes those bastards have had their own crisis identity crisis and guaranteed they will go on benders and you're like hang on a minute doesn't even drink yeah it doesn't even drink he goes on a bender just before I have a baby an identity crisis remember when he fucked off yes when teddy just been born when teddy was four

weeks old he went to ibiza on a bender honestly they're just nuts they are and it's really weird but you kind of expect them like if i don't know like sometimes i'll be like to james well what have you not thought about that and he'll be like no it's not in my belly i can't remember what so it's just little things like that but you know what we were talking about so i'm having a section and i did this with fear to be fair as well i said when the baby comes out i want it to go straight to him not me for a minute because i feel like i've already it's mine already i'm good i'm gonna love it like you're good and i did it with fear as well i was like i want it to go straight to the man let him have that minute and then him give it to me because that moment like they need

that because they've not had the pregnancy did you have yours wiped off no i can't remember well they just what they do is they take the baby out of your tummy and then with mine they put them on that warm thing and inspected them and cut the cord funny yeah and then they wrap them in a towel and then because sometimes you can just have them thrown on you right covered in guts yeah i didn't you didn't do that i don't think i didn't know well no they still had like blood and what's that all that weird stuff guys as well can i just start a conversation on something while we're on the topic of babies and this is totally boring mum chat but i think people like it metanium nappy cream oh my god this is a massive thing right so this nappy cream is the best

your night nanny messaged me telling me telling me that it's go to buy it now to buy it now so it's so funny not where i've been and guess how much it was on ebay she sent me a screenshot 400 quid yeah i saw so she messaged me bless her saying lauren just a heads up she's so nice she's lauren just a heads up um it's and i remember it from fear i remember it and it's yeah basically it's called titanium it's like yellow and it's yellow so it's got zinc in it it you can't get it off it's almost like cricketers when they put it on the face because that's it yeah um and i remember it's the best nappy cream anyway it's stopping so she texts me yeah someone's just put that on patreon yeah no i discovered it the other day the snow had a really bad nappy rash and i was

like and um i was like right i need some metanium ocado out of stock amazon weird out of stock went in the chemist no we've not had that in for ages so then it's gone i went on their instagram and they'd done an announcement saying it's one but but guys this why don't you ready oh my god why don't we remake it i bet people already thought of that no listen z to west have got a zinc nappy cream oh have they it's like 20 quid but it is just as good as metanium and i sent it into nursery with snowy and the nursery were like we've told everyone to buy this oh really okay so there is an alternative it's called like baba west zinc nappy cream i'll post it on instagram well there we go then we've got another story before we get into this properly um one of our

friends went to a&e oh my god because she thought she had appendicitis appendicitis she was in really like excruciating like was crawling she was in such bad pain because you would assume i'd say if you're in agony like that i would say either heart attack or appendicitis yeah so she was in a&e and she was like i do i have a really bad kidney infection like do i have appendicitis am i having a cardiac am i having a baby yeah because that's sometimes i've thought of this sometimes am i giving birth then she said she was waiting in a and e for like two hours she went to the toilet and did a massive fart we're really worried about you if you died and she's just been for a thought

she's just been for a thought and it took her like a year to admit this story she was like i was close to ringing an ambulance honestly james did this weird thing in the night the other night he woke up and he was holding his head and he was like he thought he was having a brain aneurysm he had this headache and then he was just dehydrated and then about a few months ago honestly i said is this like the time he had a heart attack james so listen to i did i tell you that time when he was rolling around in pain with his chest like yeah like sit like i was panicking and i don't panic i thought he's having a fucking i thought i knew this was remember when ed knew he was gonna die and he's holding his heart and everything and then he went downstairs and had some gaviscon

and went but he didn't want to tell me because he was so embarrassed so he got back in bed and he said the pain started subsiding but he was like because i said have some gaviscon you just never know he's like no he got in bed and then like after two minutes he's like and then he said he didn't want to tell me so he carried on like no when i had that hemorrhoid i thought my arsehole had prolapsed Yeah, and it was just a hemorrhoid. I was like, I was like, that's it. Stop vomiting into my head.

It's funny to tell you, my friend runs. Google is our worst enemy. My friend runs. She used to get BV all the time, right, and various things. And every time she wiped, she would smell shit. right from her fanny like poo from a vagina so she diagnosed herself right and we we were no there's a thing where you can have a small hole from childbirth between your bowel and your vagina then you start pooing out no she had fully diagnosed herself with this like absolutely

diagnosed herself with it um and she was like it smelled and we were all like i'm googling it and we were like right you've got to go to the hospital like this is really serious you should not smell like that from your vagina and then she said it turns out she'd not been wiping her ass properly and she was doing back to the front did her mom not teach her anything my mom always used to be i always like from front to back front to back she really diagnosed herself and then she was like i've not been wiping my ass for her whole life she had been just going on also who wipes their ass with wet wipes when they've had a poo you were not meant to it's not meant to be good for the environment biodegradable um i don't but i should you should and you need to be

careful of the roids because you when i was pregnant i had a roid and i couldn't leave the house and i was crouching over a mirror and i was like but it hurt so much and it was so small james really james was texting you about it like really felt do you remember that when i sent you and christine or a picture of that one yeah well i sent you a picture of my full-on hole didn't i the other day because i got that sore i don't know what that was it went i think my thong had been rubbing and jane so i was literally in the living room i was sat in the living room watching telly right and it was really hurting so i was texting ashley like i feel like i've got something wrong i don't know what's happening and then james was like what you do now is literally like this

with my phone on selfie mode and i was like that and he was like what are you doing i was like i'm just sending ashley enjoy it now while you can still see it well i can still see it i know i know anyway we've got next time we record is that when we're gonna be pissed your laurel say it quickly before all your fucking start um i won't be oh speaking of tesco mulled wine chef's keys no i can't dalesford organic oh fuck off i don't want why do i need organic mulled wine what is the world wine the bottle's beautiful oh my god so our guest we've got a guest who severe bailey ah yes it's a guest on the bonus and no i was in hysterics did you see her instagram stories yesterday no can i just show you we need to ask

her about this when she comes on someone was filming for the news yeah outside the job center and they got a video of her and her four kids going past going past the job center she's got a business she's got like she's really worked out like she's got a video with all the kids as well because she's got so many kids that's really she's nice i can't wait to speak to her honestly let me show you not that there's anything wrong with being on there no but have you ever signed up yeah i've been on the dog yeah and when i uh had a period of yeah why else would you and yeah i used to turn up and just to be really extra i would wear a fur coat like veruca song and i used to think when i write my book

no i've never been to the job center mate get your fucking money's worth the amount of tax we pay yeah no i just my dad was like get down there actually how much do you get it's not a lot yeah uh i don't know i think i got 120 quid a week i was lucky i did my it's not bad i was mine was years ago so it was when you could get a little bit and sometimes you didn't even have to go in yeah and they just rarely you'd have to go in oh no i haven't i haven't ever been in the job center yeah nothing wrong it's all right the people that work there are sound yeah yeah yeah sure and they were like they wanted to offer me everything they were like do you need an emergency load really yeah like did they ever say that to you it was a long time yeah it was it was um

when i was about 20 i'd split up with the footballer at that point and you went to the job center no i've not i've not um hopefully i won't hopefully i'll always be in employment yeah godspeed i think we're fucked now who's winning here yeah godspeed so i had an event um tell us about your event it was absolutely so nice i bet that was spenny as fuck it looked like you could tell do you know what i mean that you'd spent oh yeah well per person they had their own little setup and everything and drinks a lot of whatever they want a lot of money but i dressed the the venue it looked draping lovely um and yeah it was a modern farmhouse in old i've never been guys it's stunning if you want to meet one of your friends for like a little

coffee date they've got a pilates studio called studio 34 is that where that is next door to it so you can go for pilates and then right we're gonna go in january and film it yes shall we yes yes we'll do a day we'll do a healthy day yeah let's and then you can run cryo i can't well i just my cryo place shout out cryo revive in wilmslow um it is on black friday and i think it was like 250 quid for 10 sessions i can't go on that right you absolutely cannot go on that lauren no do you know how good cryo is after you've had a baby well no i i've already got introduced it to you when i was a few weeks postpartum before the wedding didn't yeah and i said to you i liked it when you've had one of those nights sleep with the baby the few that i

had um you feel like drunk and messy and drunk yeah yeah like after a night and if you go on the cryo you feel boof like sorted out i love it it's good for weight loss it's good for weight loss it your skin feels tight i after yeah i'm gonna do all yeah the most um what else so let's do that let's do that um no i i went to pilates yesterday well done you've not been for ages i know and i did really well and i felt really good after oh that's it do you know what else i love barcode when when the fuck have you done barcode i did barcode throughout my whole pregnancy with snow i did not know do you not remember it was on that big reformer thing and it was absolutely huge i can't remember yeah in they've got a bar core studio in hale and in alderley it's good anything

that's good for your core if you start it now so when i was doing it there's certain things i can do until 16 weeks and then at 16 weeks the certain i can't do well i would only do one one-on-one stuff yeah but she is a post and prenatal so she was coming around checking on me and i know myself like you don't want your stomach to dome like if your stomach domes then yeah so i know i understand it all so um but i'm gonna carry on doing it throughout the pregnancy and after as well because she was saying to me that honestly the difference it makes to your recovery and your stomach going back together unbelievable so i did i love pilates is more intense than reformer pilates what is it you hold a bar it's like ballet kind of thing and they go

like right okay hold this for 10 seconds and you start shaking oh god yeah i've never done it's similar it's cool it's cool really good why don't we do that pilates and and do a few things and film it in january yeah and infrared sauna is amazing as well and beauty light therapy infrared sauna um everyone is talking about and also the um sauna blankets i'll be as soon as the baby comes oh i love my song i won't get out of it when the baby's in infrared sauna they've got inside the bar core studio oh well right so you go and you have bar core and then you go straight into the infrared sauna and then you remortgage because it's cost you that much that's the problem with these things they're so expensive pilates is a rich person's thing

that's what they call it don't they rich person sport they do call it that because it is like i for me it's worth it because i don't do other stuff like my gym membership but it's a lot one's meant to be good they invited me and you and christina the the green lab why not me gorgeous coffee fuck that yeah fuck them we were in there how much is it pilates session near me 25 quid near me we i do like a month i pay monthly for it it's a bit different but i feel like it's like 20 quid or something it's not similar it's a lot of money barry's isn't it how much is barry and it's they're all like full 28 quid is it shut up no no no barry's is 20 quid a session but it's a lot of money you pay you can pay him like three sessions and you

get it for like it works out like it's i get it because you do what you're told i get why it works but at the same time it's like have i just paid to do i could have done that without it it's good though yeah i've heard it's really good i went to barry's once and i've walked out yeah i'm not i'm not surprised you didn't have a cardiac you won't be able to do it no but do you know what i love i don't like high intensity i love the uh the changing rooms like afterwards the shower and stuff like no i never do that i never no matter how nice the place is i am not showering and i going home do you know why have you been to my gym yet no space no so ed's stepmom owns a gym we'll go why don't we go all three one day yes so she's got i'll do that it's amazing right

should we book a course and share it we can sit and do work together baby yes guys i am gonna literally be like right for the next four to eight weeks i'm gonna be intense bullshit well we'll see also you i'll probably just be on like the reason you don't go to the changing rooms after is because you don't have to go into like work like you can just sorry i'm just are you trying to say that i got to the job center so i don't i don't have to i used to when i was in my jimmiest gym era i used to go to the gym at 5 a.m every morning before work because the traffic was so bad in the morning it might as well fly through park my car where i wanted go in the gym wash and dry my hair do my makeup

i've never been i've never ever done a before i'm not that girl i am i like the gym and i am a morning girl but i'm not a five no no thank you guys so also a new feature that we've added on to patreon is we've got a new chat by the way multiple chats haven't we by the way well done for doing it really proud of you for taking that ownership but you made it so that everyone can see it even people that aren't on patreon but it's fine because i think it's well well done for trying well if you want to see it you've got to pay it was proactive it was proactive i went on it and he bet she's basically picked the thing where any you don't even have to be a patreon yeah no let's explain this because i think patreon is confusing for people so you can go

onto patreon and you can go and see absolutely fuck all if you want but people go on there and they become a free member but i don't get it right so this is what i think happens i think people go on they sign up thinking they're going to get something for free yeah and then when they get on there they realize that they're not so they don't go on it so basically yeah you can all join patreon there's like there's already like eight thousand yeah yeah yeah but unless you're paying a subscription you will see absolutely jack shit yeah soon as you pay there's only one tier and it's called nip tuck extra and it's six pounds a month um and that's the only tier there is once you pay that and you join and you are a nip tuck extra patreon you then have access to the group

chat which is where ashley's saying she's now done a bargain but sorry i interrupted she's done a bargain bucket section where basically now we did get asked for it didn't we yeah you can put your bargains in there anything you've seen discount codes but also people are buying selling and swapping i don't know about swapping i've made that up but like does anyone do swap it'd be hard to find someone that was the exact same but selling i saw some louis vuitton purses on there the other night people rather than going on vinting they're just popping it in there yeah so that's like another section of it then you have your group chat which is just general shite that we talk all of us then there's an advice which is more dilemmas there's a treatment which is to talk

about treatments um and then there's the dm feature where you can privately dm ashley and i and we always get back to you so there's that plus you get your bonus episode every friday plus you get your blogs so i did like a pregnancy 10 minute video that i've been filming myself for the last three months and i didn't put it on insta because it was too emotional i didn't want everyone to see it but i was happy with patrons yeah it's like a safe space we are very open on that we are going to do more surgery blogs uh when we get around to it so that's basically because someone actually dm'd me yesterday saying hi lauren i pay four pounds and i think they get confused i pay four pound a month for nip tuck extra what will i get more with patreon so i was like no no you're paying

for apple subscription which is great and it gives you the episode extra every friday but you're getting none of the page nothing else so that there we go that's what it is um it honestly it's so useful so for example i said i think i'm gonna get ed the aura ring for christmas yes um and like the amount of people that have said like don't get it really some people have said like they're really bulky did it so i'm like interesting to find some people love it it's just really also um can we just talk about the shark hair dryer is it good no idea but i'm interested in the the mask so all i've heard back from that so far is that it's bulky it's bulky that's the only thing i've heard but i like the fact that it's got different lights and cryo yeah listen

i'm not against it i just don't want to buy one so if they want to give how much are they guys 400 quid if they want to give me one um i won't be buying i have been icing my face in the morning right um and ed thinks i'm absolutely mental so i get a bowl of i mean you are water and put ice cubes in it and then i just put my face like like apple bobbing yeah yeah so i read a thing that said something about if you put your head in ice it's like doing a full-on ice bath yeah i thought No, it was the back of your neck. No, it was your hair. So then, then, last night,

Georgina Rodriguez uploaded a video. Of her apple bobbing. Dunking her head. Dunking the head. So let's go on to bargain bucket now. Right. What do you know? Fuck the shark face mask,

do some apple bobbing. Do some apple bobbing jeans. I'm going to get some cash. Got $20 in my pocket. I've been telling Ashley a song if you guys kids love putting rude songs on alexa like mine do get them to search for willy bum bum and you can't get the song out of your head all day willy willy bum bum willy willy bum bum because we were just saying that um in our kitchens the kids just play rude songs on alex like hanky the

christmas mr hanky the christmas poo that's and fart saskia literally only plays gloria estefan conga come on everybody oh my god no it's a tune but after you've heard it three times it becomes very annoying you know what the kids are cute they ask they put wedding songs on and they they've really cherished that memory and i'm over it now can we talk about my kids i've moved on cardboard box oh my god they were playing what were they playing homeless but that do you know what though there is so many homeless people now it's really really sad i was walking through manchester oh my god i know and do you know like can you remember seeing people that were homeless when you were little because i do and thinking and thinking oh what's that i don't understand

well they should understand yeah and it's like i just i mean yours are never going to be homeless we don't need to worry about but still it's really scary isn't it like and i thought the funniest thing was that they would pretend sasky was pretending she was the homeless one and ted was the rich one and it just really made me laugh and they actually send all these pictures and they're in these cardboard boxes and then you've got ted sat there you've not had a nanny have you mate no are you all right i'm not all right not are you did you have a last night no i knew you didn't that's why i was like where's sarah you put a video of the kids and they were playing this and i was like where's the nanny i could tell that something was massive cardboard something was

out of control right should we discuss conor mcgregor in the bonus yeah let's talk about him on the bonus because i am i've got a lot to say well i have but haven't i don't know right yeah wait for the bonus too risky let's do a bit of bargain bucket this episode's been a mishmash right kids get did you see the other day in patreon one of the girls was like i've got an eight month old what do i get it for nothing you idiots so i right guys a box look at how much fun my kids have with that guys and i might sound like a bitch now i might sound like a shit mom i don't care um i did not buy fear but anything really until she was of the age that she understood i'm gonna say about two i will get something because i think it teaches that other kids about we all

get the same oh yeah maybe like a no no yeah like a tenner from bnm yeah yeah and also they'll think she's part like yeah no maybe like a tenner but i but i only had fear she's one that i only had thea i know um i haven't got i didn't have other kids and i did not buy fear anything why why why would you buy it's really hard for me and you as well because the year and saskia's birthday and christmas is so close and i feel like they're an absolute nightmare over this time of year because they're so spoiled yeah and everything they go to their dad's house they get what they get two birthdays two christmases two everything they're all over the place bing bong no i agree and i don't know about you but fear's behavior oh spicy she's been sent to her room a lot recently um but

yeah so let's talk about kids gifts so this is something that i had a chat with james about obviously we've got millions of them so what i think tends to happen or happens with me is i buy a few presents here and there i forget what i've bought i just keep buying bits and then i panic and i think i don't think i've got that much and then i go on amazon and i buy buy buy buy buy next thing yeah find all the stuff i have bought and i think oh but because i've done it over maybe two months i've not realized how much i've spent now when you've got four children you can't do that so what me and james did this year well i made him because he would god he's so fucking unorganized i wrote each of the kids names down and every time we bought

something even if it was a lol doll for 15 quid it goes under thea's name lol 15 quid so that i can check what we are spending on each child because before you know it you've bought 10 lols and you don't realize so that's one thing make sure you write down everything you bought them and the cost of it so that it doesn't get carried away and you can actually see how much you've spent on them i also think having a budget early is good if you start buying your image you can afford to do what the fuck you want but if you start like now it's black friday over spoiling four weeks away yeah if you start over spoiling your kids at a young age you can't go back yeah you can't go back if they are used to coming down to a room full of presents like one ipad

that's what they get when they're older isn't it like a phone or an ipad and you've only got one present exactly so one thing that we have tried to and again i think when you've got quite a lot of them the cost is times four isn't it or three or whatever five so one thing we're trying to do is not don't even start that thing where they come down to a room full of presents because when do stop you can't go back on that also it makes christmas day just and it's greedy in my opinion it doesn't give a great they just get it and they throw it they don't care yeah they don't we got to that point last year where they were literally just ripping and throwing her off and then moving on to the next one so all i would say don't start with this over spoiling you don't need

to and one thing we always try and drum into the kids as well and this sounds really really pathetic but it does seem to work we try and explain to that presence really important but it's about your family day blah blah and i think they're kind of starting to get that now but yeah don't don't start young with 100 presents because you can't then one christmas only buy them 10 also i do a thing with mine like i'm doing it this week my house is upside down yeah mine is and i say to them like we're gonna give the children that can't afford um yeah or that don't have the same yeah we're gonna give them some of your toys to make room for santa absolutely and then i went through the clothes and i said i do that and then when they're not looking i've been

even more stuff yeah yeah so i've been going to and from the charity shop yes um to to give i think the best thing to do rather than clearing out after christmas is doing what you just said now because didn't you see did you see that thing where somebody said like people that can't afford it and need to go to charity shops now is the time do you want the gift exactly so i think honestly guys let's not be stupid at christmas i mean look if you have got loads when you want to do that do what you want but it's not sustainable sometimes and if you give their expectations up here you've got to do that until they're 18 did you see my christmas tree very nice isn't it gorgeous thank you jess at ruby she's so how many you buy quite a few people don't you i'd i've got everyone

off i if you're my family turn this off now i've got my mum a zip halo love that the best the best at such a good mom see if i got my mom that she's not in she's not wouldn't use my mom's asked for it yeah mine wouldn't use it um and she do you know what she literally said though she was like please stop re-gifting me things and i was like bitch people what like what are you joking she said i want the zip halo um then obviously i buy whatever anyone i can get anyone from hermes because then it bumps me up the list not that i've had a bag for a year and a half um i just got those boots as well they're lovely they're stunning aren't they um my sister i have contributed to her coming home for christmas nice nice um because she lives in dubai i prefer it

like if i had a sister which i have an awesome and they said to me this is what i want thank you thank you i don't i don't feel you know in any way thanks let me just give you something you want instead of buying you crap now ed i was thinking of getting in the aura ring yes do know where there is so many good men's presents on that health website well you did swear that you were going to do a men's health no i am going to do the men just reminding the guys and then also that electric toothbrush that we spoke about sorry i still not got it sorry all right no um that that's a very good men's present i think a wash bag hold all a hold all a wash bag even if you can't it doesn't have to be you know louis vuitton you could get a really nice leather m&s

i got him some mulberry's nice you know for men's holdalls bista village cheshire do you know where i got ed some really nice bits from aloe yoga yes she said that she's going to do a new socks new underpants you're gonna do a guide so do you know what ed absolutely loves his cosmetic consult wipes he does them every week now and he said that that has changed his skin um just anything like techie do you know what as well if your husband or boyfriend likes golf there is a portable speaker that you attach onto your golf buggy that i got him and he's like obsessed they love techie stuff um secret santa so this is one of the things that i um always thinks good to get in black friday this episode will have gone by them but

black friday sets buy little gift sets for the space nk ones those summer fridays you don't have to spend anywhere near as much yeah so also you know you can buy patreon as a gift voucher for someone so if you're struggling what to get your friend if you're thinking secret santa you can do a month two months a year whatever you bloody well want so the budget can be as little as six to up to like 60 odd you can go on there and you can get a gift voucher you put their email address and they can be a patreon member that honestly is giving the well it's a it's a very big gift so christina's just told me if you guys want to do that there will be a link in this episode's description so you can go and buy somebody the gift of lauren and ashley exactly if you've got if someone's got

everything it was just a bang it's okay okay someone dropped something downstairs are you all right um yes give the gift of lauren and ashley just tell you one more thing while we're on the christmas subject we haven't done much on mums we need to talk more about mum presents go so Arlo came around the other day and he went Ashley did you know in the nativity Saskia was meant to be Mary and I've moved to school

she was meant to be Mary you mean that's bollocks no it's not it's not a few people have said it I don't mean to you know at theatre school they do have Mary

but it's not even that good a role so at thea's school the best role is like obviously a narrator because oh yeah the narrator the narrator is the clever they're clever and they can read and is there only one narrator no there's five but no no but well one kid doing the whole thing thea has got nine lines some of them are more than three lines long she knows them all and she's just really thriving and just really proud when she came home she was like i'm the narrator and i was like oh and i rang my mom guess what she's mom was oh absolutely of course she's the narration very bright and i was like yes very bright you know what you're like i thought she was a genius

from the minute she was born as soon as she said a word i was like i don't think she should be saying that at this age it's a genius she said my mom would go oh a genius a genius um we're convinced that's why she's so naughty as well last year we were in hysterics about what some people's kids have been sent home as one of them was wind wind wind what was the other one it was a gate No, it wasn't Saskia something really Yeah, she was a bad one Maybe that's why she was married this year And we were in hysterics

No, I complained to the teacher Was she a gate? It was something weird No, somebody was a gatekeeper No, somebody wrote in that they were an actual swinging gate Like, they were the gate Like, that is just What were you?

I was Mary twice I will tell you one of my core memories You were cool, she was fucking them now grace sadler wherever you are in life now i apologize to you did you say for mary i was mary in reception obviously blonde hair blue eyes you know who said mary had blonde hair don't think she did anyway um jesus had brown hair i think mary had brown hair because otherwise it doesn't make sense but go on so uh i was the virgin mary in reception then then i i realized only a reception child can be mary right in the school nativity so obviously in year one i was

like yeah well obviously i'm mary again and they were like no ashley a little one is mary every year and you got to have your photo in the newspaper i'll put it on patreon do that yeah no listen so then i was like who's who the fuck's mary yeah year one what are you you didn't go and um what's it called when you do tamper with evidence what do you call it when you go to the person who's giving evidence and you basically i was like who's mary come on word on the street is it's you grace so i went over to it and i was like grace i need to tell you something i know it's really worrying being mary and it's a very big role to play and you will get nervous and it's very hard so i what we'll do now we'll hold hands and we'll go over to the teacher

and will say that you're too scared to be married but you want it to be me and it fucking works Do you know who you remind me of? Helga Pataki Helga Pataki of Piano That is manipulative but good

I would do something like that I was a very manipulative child Who were you in a play? Probably Donkey I probably was the arse end of the donkey um do you think i should ring my mom and ask her what i was um any funny mom's christmas school nights out stories as well because we live for them yeah where one of the moms has done something really embarrassing like he said i fucking hate everyone and everyone's like oh um i might ring

my mom and ask her what i was do you know what honestly mom's night out consists of too much prosecco and people go mental and then the next day they're at school yard like no one wants to look at each other no she's not answering she'll be at pilates um right okay more mum gift guides i think so i always get my mum a really nice coat because i think that's nice oh i spoil my mom um i don't you know what i stick to the basics like i do the h&m the top shop the asos um pretty lavish weirdly pretty lavish yeah i've never heard of that i've got some nice coats um but i normally get my mom some like ugg boots a nice coat you know i spend for a fortune on my mom this year we're not though because we've both agreed with each other she was like look lauren

not i always tell her not to get anything but she said i don't want i don't want anything so let's maybe put it later on in the year let's go on holiday or let's go on a trip away i will still get something i spend a fortune on her so last year i think i got some burberry boots ones they were gorgeous so they were like black chelsea but does she not still have them yeah she's still got them it's about two years ago burberry down burberry at the side and they're gorgeous for like that kind you know for that kind of age group i think they were lovely burberry scarf i've got oh just loads of stuff yeah what would you real as well i always get a real stuff like the i don't do no fiction i know i do but what would you recommend for someone on a budget well a

normal person to buy their mum like a treat i paid for my mum to have her treatments done with bella yeah because it'll last a long time and also i feel like mums feel guilty spending on themselves not not now i don't feel guilty as you can see but as in our mum's generation and yours as well christina they feel guilty spending money on themselves i think a treat is always nice before my mum before the wedding i said go and have whatever you want on your face and i'll pay for it as a treat and i think i don't think she would have put that paid that kind of money for filler and botox otherwise so that's always good i'd be totally honest you know what i really think most mums want now look i don't know what your relationship's like with your mum but my mum

wants my time yeah yeah like grantly hall you took her to grantly hall didn't you that for a bit that's all she wants so if i said instead of spending a few if i took her to a spa for the day if i took her for lunch and shopping for the day breakfast night in a hotel that's that would make her happier than me buying her a coat yeah like i think i'm gonna experiences while my sister's back um my mom i take her to london uh for like january february time when it's quiet and down a little bit with saskia but because my sister lives in dubai now i said to her the other day i think i'm gonna book paris for us for two nights perfect like that i don't see it and you can go you know what it's like at home the kids are around you know sometimes i don't speak i don't speak to my

mom she comes in she'll help me with my washing or whatever it is that she's come with she'll take the kid your mom's the same as mine like they just potter around does my work like she i find it weird when people's moms aren't like that everyone's different aren't they my mom helps me an incredible amount which is why i spoil her all the time because she she does a lot for me but i think experiences because then even if you've not got a big budget a little bit of lunch some some moms and it depends on your mom exactly some moms wouldn't have the confidence to go and go for treatment and stuff like that yeah right okay i've never thought of that my mum went a bit my mum's confidence was not so good when she went through menopause yeah do you know that is true

the older they get the confidence really goes i agree and i don't think i could get my mum to go to something i think gifts are nice for mums and for anyone really i like getting gifts for people especially women where they wouldn't spend it on themselves so vouchers are always good for that also um i always love getting my mom jammers slipper i got some old slippers a little bit more expensive in the car thank you chelsea piers pajamas yeah very nice rosie huntington dressing gowns one of the nicest dressing gowns i've ever had from m&s i bought it i'm gonna get it my mom the velour one it's sold out is it yeah they sell out straight away um anything really nice from m&s i always think it's really lovely for them john lewis john lewis it's hard to say because it

depends on your mum doesn't it everyone's mum's different but my mum likes being at home so like pajamas and stuff like that um by the way i really want veneers like big white veneers no no do you not think what's wrong with your teeth what's wrong with them you're gonna spoil it they're nice and natural picking myself apart why do you do this i don't know do you think that the more sort of treatments and stuff that you do do you think you are um like you've got nice like do you think you're bored no definitely no so what is it that's making you now look at your teeth lauren you're the fucking exact yeah you're the same no but i've got i've there's loads of stuff i'll i could do absolutely don't get me wrong and i will do loads of surgery but you've

just fucking had loads of shit done like you're good you look really good what do you want i want my teeth done but why though what's what is it that because it has sparked you okay we're so nice right i was like what what has sparked so guys the copying saga is continuing and it's continuing bad yeah olivia actually posted about someone copying it but then then they it was on the daily mail because everyone in patreon's talking about it over there and it's interesting getting everyone's perspective like we're going to move on to the bonus about the conor mcgregor stuff interesting to get everyone's perspective absolutely very interesting um so they they what was it called the daily mail i think printed an article last night that one of the gals in patty

posted and it was like olivia atwood has beef with maura higgins and i was like it's definitely not about her oh and they've actually said it's more more well that's what they have it's not it's not it's not it's interesting so i think whatever's going on olivia's getting angrier and angrier and i think she's gonna say the next she's gonna blow soon because it was nothing at first and now she's full-on making stories addressing it and saying so she's getting angrier someone's poking her and when she said i could write a book about it it's gonna cut she's gonna must be more there must she's gonna blow i think she's gonna tell everyone stuff soon i think she's gonna be like right it's this person and this is why i'm sorry it must be so annoying yeah i guess no one copies

me uh but yeah i guess it probably is quite annoying right so is that why so olivia is why you want your teeth done yeah back to the teeth looked so nice and me and her have got the same dentist andy mclean right and i said to her because last time i went in i was like um i'm thinking about getting emacs is it yeah and he was like oh my god you are just like my other client olivia you both got perfect teeth and i know you're gonna force me into doing it right and wouldn't do it at the time but now i've seen hers i'm like and what's the difference are they bigger do they look real or fake like would you look at a straight away they just look like pretty gorgeous teeth like when she was talking i was like your teeth now are they your teeth or they veneers

composite what i will say is the change from me going from composite to um porcelain veneer was 100% worth it not only the way they look the way they stain the way that a million times an improvement yeah but can you remember

how much yours hurt I wouldn't want I forgot about that they're fine now they look beautiful yeah I like that are you going to get your bottom done

yes after the baby yeah the list of after the baby is ridiculous it's true when you get pregnant you just make a list of everything that you can't do but do you think it's because

you're in that world and because you 100% that's why you if we were and do you know what like me and lauren said but you know what maybe we've got it wrong maybe we've got it wrong you look at other people how fucking happy they look like i'm constantly getting shit done

but then you look at people who were quite happy or they just think this is what i look like and that's that fine imagine being one of those before we met before we even started the podcast and we we already did bits and bobs and i just think for me personally it's because i worked in that from a young age and it was attainable and not that difficult yeah i could afford it it was normal i saw tens of people every week having it done we're numb to it i was numb to it and then i got my boobs done wasn't that difficult felt good boobies nice you know and then it's like falling asleep oh nice and then i was like boobies bigger nice oh boobies too big smaller nice and i think it was just so accessible attention nice and i think as well everybody look after me yeah nice

and i think painkillers nice and i think i just thought as well this is easy yeah and i realized how easy it was and then how i think that's it whereas for some people it is a million miles away they don't know where to begin but it was just on my doorstep yeah and also we know a huge amount about it we do like we're educated we could talk about it all day we know the surgeons we know that we've watched the operations and i just think for that reason it's not a big deal to me like if i want to go after the baby if i need a little tummy tuck let's go do you know what though i watched that program backstreet so oh i didn't watch that was it good oh my gosh that's going on absolutely horrendous what's going on out there it's like the wild west there was a woman

um and she was like really glamorous looking like white blonde hair i think she was russian or something and she had this aesthetic training academy and they bought a it's meant to be a phlegm sucker off like aliexpress or something and they were doing people's chin liposuction and she was teaching people how to do it yeah and this woman is there like rin like well yeah wincing in pain use the right anesthetic no no and there was blood everywhere and there was blood all over the cabinet being filmed yeah being filmed undercover then she walks out and gets in a bright blue brand new porsche and goes and speeds off then um the lady like had to make an excuse to leave because it was her turn like the undercover girl and um she

was like oh my son's hit his head at school and she was like oh i give you certificate now anyway you're fine like off you go and then like she got some free fish and chips from the shop next door as well very odd um and then there was another one where they were doing the liquid bbl uh what's happened with that lady that died i don't know i mean i think that we probably won't know for a while no um and they were doing the liquid bbl in someone's living room and um again like that they were just leaving the cannula stuck in there and and there was people fainting and it was just really scary but there is also a um a program on netflix that you need to watch speaking of dangerous bbls and it's called beauty in black i think it's called and it's so i think you told

us about that wait my mum's wrong about i actually want to know what hello hiya um when i was younger you know in you know in nativities like in primary school what was I I don't think you're anything major was I ever Mary no I'm afraid not

what was I then anything no you're like a sheep or a donkey or something were you proud of me still well don't you remember was it in reception when there was Mary there was a kings the kings and the donkey was behind them.

Right. And the king stopped, stopped, and obviously the donkey couldn't see where they were going and crashed into them and everybody fell over. No, I can't. Right, so it was a donkey or a sheep? Yeah, I'm afraid you didn't shine sufficiently, I don't think, to be a character.

Right, thank you very much, Mum. Bye-bye. All right, bye. There you go. There you go. We need my mum on the bloody pod. We need our mums on. We do.

She said I didn't shine significantly enough to be a character. ah fair do you know what someone once said to me and I'll never ever forget it I'll never forget it go on

it was when I used to do beauty competitions beauty as in the treatment not my face believe it or not because I wouldn't have done that with my old face

or my new one and someone went to me darling hold my hand my worry for you is that you're always going to be the bridesmaid

and never the bride oh well you proved them wrong twice maybe that's where the trauma's maybe that's where And also, do you know what we were talking about

a few weeks ago, which was hilarious? Do you remember when you were younger and you'd be walking down Piccadilly Gardens? Hey, hey, stop. I'm a model scout. I'm a model scout. And you'd think you were getting scouted. My mum is happening.

I told her it happened to me so many times and then the photo shoot would be a grand. Yeah. And my mum's so lovely that she still believed it was. She would have paid the grand. Right, guys, love you loads. Bye. you