Nip Tuck - Collagen In My Lips, Thong On My Hips

Episode Date: March 18, 2026

The girls are in troubled waters today! Ashley and the kids finally got her partner Ed to scream, Lauren's got a little too descriptive and is painting a horrific picture in Producer Lucas' head regarding her period and the girls are digging deep into the Jess Wright podcast scandal that's got everyone talking collagen lips and thong bikini's, including "Daddy" aka Big Mark Wright.The girls also share their lists of what they've bought this week, what daughter in-laws should do when they meet the parents and what things can women say that men can't.It's a jam-packed episode.... and we're not just referring to Lauren's "scones"...Head over to our socials @niptuckpod and click the link in our bio to find our YouTube, where full video episodes will be released every Wednesday at 5pm. If you're a Patreon member, not only will you get the Wednesday main episode the day before at 5pm, you'll now be able to watch the Friday Bonus too!Get in touch with your questions, dilemmas and Slutty Susie's via our Whatsapp or email [e-mail]

on the way home ed got us a yog breeze oh i love that frozen yogurts and a car slammed on in front of him and everyone's pretty no and i just went i think i even kicked the um dashboard yeah and he was like and ed never shouts and even ed was like you oh no stop okay i take things far and And that's a lot. It's bad. So I just wanted everyone to know. At least it's not what you call the other one, a Jack Daniel's sauce milkshake.

Yeah, when you're at the end of your period. At the end of your period, when you're like, how do you describe it? It's like Jack Daniel's sauce. Right there, I think Mark does like a thong. I think Daddy does like a fucking thong. Because here it is. Oh, so what's Daddy?

What's Daddy do? Carol, put your arse away. Double tap, double tap, double tap. Not for you, though. I ate it when the girls have got the collagen in their lips. Right. There's not a lot. Excuse me, Carol!

Get back in your fucking box! I've got collagen in me lips and I wear thong bikinis. And if you don't like it, fuck off! Guys, hello and welcome to your Wednesday nit-tuck, not giving a fucking fuck. we never call it nip tuck not giving a fuck do you know Thea when she says it

she goes nip tuck and then she goes can I swear mum and I go no you can't and she goes okay because she knows I think we're just known

as nip tuck now yeah we are what a great name fantastic like I'll never get over like I've sent her a present

the girl who made that name because it's such a didn't you send her an LED mask I sent her something like that yeah I can't fucking remember now

but she deserves it Jesus right now what we got on today Lauren right first of all we are gonna wade in we're gonna get our

wellies on and we're wading into the just right stuff we're a bit late to the party but it's very us we are but and I was one of the

first people to pick up on the video being not okay you were so we're wading in on that we've also added a little section

that we'll do now and again and it's called what we bought this week so it might be a load of shite it might be interesting it's what we spent our stupid money on

this week yeah our stupid money right okay then how to get in touch we need you at nip talk you are what make this podcast amazing send in your recommendations your hacks your tips your tricks your slutty stories your fun stories your funny stories your dilemmas all of the things we want to hear from you so if you go onto your instagram open the app up at nip tuck pod you can then click the link in our bio and it'll tell you all the different things you can do with us you can watch us on youtube you can join in the chat on patreon also guys i don't know if you knew this but you actually

get that episode a day early on patreon yep you do you get it the night before afternoon before i think it is so if you just cannot fucking wait or if you're wednesday morning you're busy you can listen to it on tuesday night so basically if you've got patreon you are a nip tuck vip yeah you get the bonus episode in video four yes you do you get ad free listens you get it the night before and you get to message us and all the other nip tuck girls yeah it's it's a it's it's been i am on them more than my socials same absolutely it's fantastic it really is like i'm proud of it very proud of it right right first of all are you all right you seem a bit stressed today it's all a lot it's a lot that's how i felt that i think sometimes things get a lot don't they well i feel

not about you it's about me um i would like a round of applause actually um well i've not told you what yet i've got thrush no that wasn't that was the next thing um i have not vaped well so i have not vaped now for nine days except i kind of just relapsed a tiny bit and had a suck on lucas's bongo because i was really desperate but i did ask him to get me one because i thought i can't do this anymore and then when he rang me and said which one do you want i was like no don't do it don't do it i'm not gonna do this i've done nine fucking days i know loads of people vape and i have to say i've done this before like i have quit before i have never found anything hard to stop even when i smoked i'd smoke continuously then i would go on

holiday it's when you have a wine yeah and i'd stop for two weeks then when i was pregnant i didn't smoke i smoking is a habit i've been able to really easily pick up and drop over yeah a long time vaping it's one of the hardest things i swear to god i was trying to explain to james because i feel like james was a bit like shut up and i was like no at night time i was tapping literally i've eaten everything i yesterday i went in the drawers and i found some sweets that I don't even like. I started throwing them in my mouth. It must be the vaping thing.

I've just, it's been so hard, but I'm nine days in because I Googled. It takes 21 days to break a habit. Well, I've sucked on Lucas's bong a little bit when I got here, so we're back to zero. But you need one of those countdown things on your phone. I have not. Oh, I've been sober for hours.

I'm going to post it on my Instagram. But yeah, it's really hard to stop, you know, guys. and i don't have any tips other than i went cold turkey and every time i nearly bought one i just said to myself absolutely not buy something else and went on h&m or whatever or ate something a dopamine yeah that's what it is or i ate apparently it's a habit um so i'm trying to break it but i just thought i'd share that with you because last time i stopped everyone was like how did you do it i only did yeah a week last time um my other update is that i've had terrible thrush because Because I used...

I feel the thrush. Addicted to it. No, sorry. Honestly, really bad thrush. Like, I've not had it for ages. Go on. I used a body wash that is really good for your body, because I was really lazy in the shower.

It was a scented one. It was a glycolic one. And because, yeah, I know I was so... Whoa! That will throw your pH off. I was really lazy in the shower, and I did my body, and I thought, can't be arsed getting my fucking wash. you can do your ass with it but not not your fanny oh wow then i came on my period so then i

had thrush and period and it was like a jam scone yeah i'll let you work out we had that call yesterday and that was some of the most horrific horrific details i've ever heard so i thought i would make lucas feel really uncomfortable by telling him how much i was bleeding and putting tampons in the i couldn't go no i couldn't it's a jam scone there's a mixture of things coming out i can't i'm going to stop okay i take things far and that's a lot bad so i just wanted everyone to know what you call the other one a jack daniel's sauce yeah when you're at the end of your period and i have you at the end of your period when you're like how do you describe it it's like jack daniel's sauce i know i've so my downstairs is not good at the minute so i just thought i'd

share that with everyone in case anyone else has a bad downstairs probiotics probiotics yeah it's get in there but i just thought because i mean what what else would we talk about exactly um i took the kids to soho house at the weekend and they were really naughty i was gonna ask you about this so i they kicked each other and then saskia teddy kicked saskia and she lay on the uh floor crying until like we went and picked her up so i was gonna ask you about this because we were talking on saturday james corden was in there really yeah did you leave did you what yeah no ed just went there's james corden and that was it yeah and who was he what was he doing i don't know he was behind me and i didn't want to you didn't want to make that yeah yeah so you just

didn't well i was going to ask you about this because we were talking on saturday about something to do with work and you were like i can't reply to any of this i've had a horrific day with the kids and i'm crying yeah so what what go on you took them to soho house took them to soho house just for dinner who the fuck does that well yeah they're allowed in the pool you know between 9 and 12

that's good I think so because then you can take them in the pool have breakfast with them well not if they do what they did no they were just

shits just on one they were just shits do you know what's the worst bit and then someone on Patreon messaged like I saw you but I didn't come over

because you were with the kids and I was probably like ah were they just on one yeah and then on the way home Ed got us a yog breeze

oh i love that frozen yogurts and a car slammed on in front of him and everyone's and i just went i think i even kicked the um dashboard and he was like and ed never shouts and even ed was like you oh no um it happens sometimes they are just assholes and you just fear used to have me in tears when she was a toddler all the time because they just they're like someone described them on patreon as little drunk people and i thought that is like falling all over right let's get into it okay because we there's so much to dissect here and i don't want to take up the whole podcast on it right i will lead this one because i have you feel strongly and yeah i just want to caveat this so this we're talking about the rights podcast i don't what's

i don't know what it's called but it's natalia jess and carol so i think it's carol's in her 60s jess is in her 30s and natalia's in her 20s which is actually it's a great idea a great female chat yeah it's right at home but then right at home so it's them sat in the kitchen the three girly world different generations and daughter daughters and i think they've had it for a while now i actually really like jess right i used to listen to her other podcast you remember and it was called like girls unfiltered right because didn't her brother come on and you were like so i'm gonna talk about girls no filter girls no filter was her other podcast and she did that with her two friends and it was while some of them were having babies some weren't and i really

it was what it was she brought that out like i think at the same time we brought ours out so i used to listen to hers and her friends were like normal girls with jobs and it was just a really nice podcast and anyway mark wright came on it and i can't remember the exact details so don't quote me like verbatim what was said but he said something about and i wouldn't be surprised if after i've mentioned this this podcast disappears right something about normal not celebrity women shouldn't take selfies i remember at the time because i remember you've been like because um like why are you taking a picture of yourself because you're kind of a relevant vibe but you read into that as you will go and listen if you want and then other bits

about like people's metabolisms and weight loss and it yeah something just didn't you weren't and i was like what the heck like she's like what and why is a man even talking about women's shit yeah yeah like then okay by the way i just want to say michelle you're out of this like you're not like you are you are a whole separate entity to what lauren and i are discussing and like blink price if you need help like um we love you yes so and i've met her before and she was one of the and you've met her before she's james's friend she's friends with james and james have the exact same sound and no one has got a bad word nice to say about michelle i do she's too fucking pretty she's so nice like normal nice gorgeous anyway right now this is what i'm

caveating this chat with because i don't want anyone to ever get upset about something that we have said okay but we're different and we're allowed no i just think that this isn't these ladies faults and by the sounds of i've listened now to three family members at four to mark the mum and the sisters and they all i think it's the way that they've been brought up and the way that they talk in their house and their values fine and you are a product of your environment which is why we should all be very conscious of the way that we speak to ourselves our children our friends our family so from listening to the mark right thing i thought misogynistic okay vibe yeah um and we're really lucky our mums have never been like that with us um but i think that like let's

just take a step back and be like that's the way they that they've been brought up and honestly the way that they were speaking i'm gonna go into it i don't think that they thought that what they were saying was wrong in any way well they wouldn't have said it but then the next bit that i'm going to come on to is when it first got posted i think it was up for about half a day and then i found it it was on patreon the girls in patreon no i put it on first yeah and i i put a message on it like guys come on like this isn't not cool cool kind of thing um and i think like whoever runs the can't put back like laughing faces and that's why lucas won't let me reply to anyone but then right and we need to get your stance on this absolutely the video stayed on them for like another 24 48

hours after like do you know who wrote a comment on it you know our friend olive she put oh i bet fucking losers because olive's cool as fuck and then she gets her ass out and then like um loads like i was reading the comments were they were flowing in and then on patreon people should they have deleted that or not really because number one rage bait does really well we got shit ton of bad comments about that smoking one that i did we didn't delete it because i kind of think at the same time you can't then you said what you said this is what i'm gonna ask lucas lucas right yeah have you seen the video yeah and would you have let us do that no right right okay would you have known as a man that it's off that you know it's off and

would you have said to us that's gonna piss people off don't say it because in that case i would have been like tough shit that's what i think we do do that because we do do that and we're not perfect by the way and we say things that offend people but that would you have would you have done a crisis management if the the comments were flowing in you would have done one you would have said like not good i think i don't know because on the one hand like look we are all about positivity and like women and things like that but you know we are about getting those fun debates that yeah and this is what we're doing now yeah that people have a really strong left or right as long as it's not you know nothing like offensive offensive

yeah if it's something you know about this yeah where people have left right i do like it so i don't know like and hey it gets picked up it gets everyone's talking about the podcast i probably never listened you do have to have crisis meetings but the video is now gone so basically what was said on the video is i ate it when girls wear thong bikinis and daddy said it was not attractive and Will said it's not attractive and then Natalia said and when they bend over What got me is when Jess said

Will absolutely hates it Despises Despises when girls wear thong bikinis I wear a thong bikini Whether you do or not I don't give a fuck whether your husband despises and also why is your husband despising? Why does he care?

No, the bit where they said you should leave things to the imagination and this girl did the tiktoks i've been in have you seen the comments oh so i've put them on your just to just to counteract like i would let us do it but it's just i think like obviously we're all about like being positive towards women that's that's what i meant by yeah i get what you said right so basically this girl did this video and she was like I don't want you imagining me

you fucking perv yeah I don't need it it's like imagination here's me in a thong if you don't like it fuck off

and if you do fine like I've not done it I've not worn a thong or not worn a thong really for you

because you're what your husband's view of it is and the other thing is that made me think so how do you know that he despises it they must have been at a beach club

bitch about girls and he must have said to her ah fucking hate it would never James doesn't care Ed would be like well yeah

James would probably be like and I'd probably go look at that arse and then James would go tits at 12 o'clock I did in Razakama I'm a homosexual

and there was this this Russian lady wearing a thong bikini me and my mate were just staring yeah out of stunning

it's fabulous bitch clap those cheeks yeah like I haven't got the cheeks to clap but if I did I would clap them and you don't even need

you don't even need no to wear whatever the fuck you want i think the main concern here is number one women saying that other women should dress a certain way that's your first thing that's your first problem they shouldn't be saying what we should and shouldn't wear the second thing is men saying what we should and shouldn't wear and men having an opinion on whether my arse cheeky's out or not that's the issue and then you saying that that's normal daddy also daddy that's i mean that's a separate issue call him what you want i haven't got one but i went back and had a look at a few other ones right other ones other ones i think it is just how they've that they're the product of their environment so maybe big mark right has a lot to answer for we'll come on we'll

come on to that second there was another video and it was like i ate it when the girls who got the collagen in the lips right there's not a lot excuse me carol get back in your fucking box i've got collagen in me lips and i wear thong bikinis and if you don't like it don't look fuck off there's not a lot that really riles me but what really riles me is when and it does really riles me and it does tend to be older women i'll be honest is when men and then when they get botox and filler wrong and they say things like oh she's got all that botox in her lips or they go she's got that filler in her head no first of all if you're going to slag it off get it right botox is for freezing the muscles the filler is for plumbing

i don't have botox in my lips that and it shows that they don't know what they're talking about and it's not collagen shut up and sorry i don't want to probably shouldn't was carol not got any collagen anywhere because i won't be saying that unless i have no collagen anywhere like i think you've got a bit of collagen i think i think you've got a bit of collagen in there i'd love it if carol just revolted against big mark wright and went collagen like go carol bitch i just do you know what it's hard because we said this the other day look we all say we say shit that pisses people off and offends people

we do and it is hard but once you've said it you've got you've got to own it you've got to own it yeah and and the thing is you don't just do an instagram screen apology like come on come on cry cry i'm so sorry i should not have done that like just just have a laugh about it be like guys like yeah my dad's a massive wanker and he's taught me all of these things probably and i for my children will now be taking classes in female empowerment things but the other thing is though right there's a little bit of it god i'd love it if you two did that for men oh like a class the other thing is right just because we disagree with it doesn't if that's how they choose to be and there would be thousands of women that are like that at first

when there was less comments in like the negative ones because obviously it got traction didn't it and then everyone was like you know um there was like women like yeah it's really inappropriate and let's now talk about the thong bikini in general do you let's say and a lot of people say at kids clubs like what is an arse cheek gonna offend a kid but a lot of people say like when there's children you shouldn't wear a thong bikini or if you're on holiday with your mates it's all right but not with your family what are your thoughts on that so for example i was in dubai and this girl came in to verde and there were kids in there you know because it's like a restaurant yeah and she was wearing just a see-through dress breasts out nipples

um the thing and that i was a bit like that's weird potentially not the right venue for that outfit yeah but you can't tell you can't tell people like what they can and can't wear also is a kid gonna be is it is a nipple saskia would be like mommy that lady's brothers is it gonna cause them any damage to see a bum cheek or a nipple i don't know i think behavior is worse if you know what you think guys but next video that we need to talk about that i saw um what daughter-in-laws should do when they go to their in-laws for the first time they did a video about that i haven't seen that one and carol said offer to wash their cars no she did not do the dishes and you know why this is do you know what this is coming all back

to again what they think a woman is there doing and what they think a woman that is suitable for their son should behave like i wonder if michelle did the cars outside when she got elliot one of them a cousin i think i like his girlfriend as well she seems quite nice i watched the other program say she seemed really not very pretty girl um she seemed really nice i liked her but yeah so that is where it's all coming that is what it is it's your we think that this is the right type of woman deleted i don't know if that so you on the back of that you're going to the in-laws for the first time what do you think is appropriate um just be myself and yeah uh yeah take a bottle of wine with you but that's you would do that anyway like if you're going to

someone's house that's just right let's give our tips then right so carol and jess and everyone i think at one point i don't quote me it might have been someone's put it in the comments but it was like and just get the shopping and everything or something i was like oh what get the shopping and everything i don't know so anyway like basically do the most if you go around like do the most so what i would say to my daughters if they went around for the first time to someone's house take a gift like i don't know a bouquet of flowers flowers a wine candle something like that i don't know if i take a gift gift i feel like flowers and wine i don't think i'd take a present well it's like apparently with presents what you're meant to do is nothing that

you have to do any work for so flowers you do you do so flowers are terrible people don't drink so that's why a candle was always then you're giving them a gift for what for hi your parents right so it's not it's it's not i want to be a good daughter-in-law so here's a gift it's more and also you're having me for tea and if you want yeah like i think that that's very it's a really thoughtful thing to do couldn't you offer to make the pudding because that way if you make it no no because you would i would be so fucking offended if i invited someone around to my house and they brought a trifle well you you offer but you're basically saying let me take 2026 and also like bitch i'm sucking your son's cock like right anyway right so and then i lick

the spoon when i maybe let me just tell you what i do okay go on i would say to them take a gift round or a token a token take your token then go around and be engaged in conversation don't be on your phone agree yeah um obviously like offer if it's just mum doing stuff but really take note of all of this because dad should be helping as well i always notice that when i go around to other people's houses like does the dad get up and start helping the mom if he doesn't then that's you maybe they're coming into that actually offer um like oh would you like some help tidying up um or you know can i make anyone a drink yes something like that uh but you need to read the vibe of the room because sometimes that is not the vibe and i feel like i'd feel

really suffocated if someone came to my house and was trying to do the most yeah and trying to tidy up and put things in the wrong place in my cupboards that pissed me off what would you give advice on i think very much the same i also think it depends on the type of parents so like for example using james's mum and dad as an example they are really chill like like if i went around with a bunch of flowers i think they should probably be grateful but i think for me it's more for the first time you went yeah i didn't take any flowers but weighing up the situation um and what kind of people they are and what they would expect to be very chill people or are they quite you know proper and this is how we do things and then i think like you've just said be yourself

because there is no point pretending to be something you're not because you can't keep that up and i think having an opinion is still good listen we're not talking about politics but i think still if you disagree with something in the right way you're like you know what i don't think that i think being you and talking about yourself but listening to them you from the beginning from the beginning it's a fucking hard work we've all done that i think it's hard work yeah yeah i think just be who you are and like you've just said engaging in comes not on your phone that's my pet hate if you go around you're on your phone do not be on your phone and ask them questions because i feel like when people are a little bit older we forget to ask them questions like

what do you do what's your like find out about pretend to like that tend to be yes if they've got a dog you pretend to like the dog it's really important that even if like i know you have to you have to pretend because people's dogs are like the kids also if they have kids pretend to like the kids pretend to play with them you have to what if the mum's food um you have to just eat it and suck it up and just don't go for tea again or offer to go for dinner next time a takeaway yeah but i do think what we're saying here is be yourself be yourself be engaged be interested be funny be you and then remember that you're not just trying to like there's this whole thing of we need to impress the in-laws why you're not marrying why like and if if your husband to be

or partner to be is heavily influenced by whether their mum and dad like you then i don't want to be with you anyway and i think just also you may be also if you're just being yourself and they don't like you then that's more of a them problem exactly and do you think that the mum is going to be planning how she's got no because she is who she is also if the mum's hard work to you trust me she will have been hard work to the sun so like yeah and i think you get a measure there and then of what the moon's gonna be like and if they're not very nice to you like stick up for yourself back like i agree i agree um it's how you have to assess it by situation but going around and washing the car i'm sorry i can't get over that offer to did she really say that so basically

to wrap up the rights no we've missed a bit yeah this is what i'm gonna say right it's all come to light that big old mark right yeah big marky our mate chelsea ferguson we love chelsea charles fergo so if you're the same age as us you'll know who charles fergo is she was a big celebrity back in our day she was the original like only fans girl yeah she used to do this thing called titty tuesday where she'd show her tits in different places and me and lauren she won't mind us saying this i've spoke to her about it before we actually did her tits for her and we aspired to be like yeah she was we've got a picture of me licking one nipple and lauren licking the other nipple well i don't know where it is oh yeah and she she got great tits she was

the original like you know she's still got the same boobs that we did on there can we show in that picture on screen or uh yeah we know we can yeah i've covered her nipples up we'll show it her uh had to be to you but she basically um waded in how funny that we're talking about this story about chelsea ferguson i know like big mark right she waded in and she showed receipts of with a screenshot of big mark rye actually liking her pictures her scantily and her whole take on it was basically oh i don't think you're right there i think mark does like a thong i think daddy does like a fucking thong because here it is oh so what's daddy what's daddy carol put your ass away oh double tap double tap double tap not for you though not for you

double tap does that i think daddy does like another tiktok that i sent this morning in the chat and it was this girl and um basically i think that they're doing like some pr crisis management hopefully now because everyone was also pulling out old pictures by the way of jess right and wearing a thong in the airport in the airport yeah wow of all the places um yeah have you seen all these comments it's absolutely brilliant go on read so i'm like did no one see jess on towie she was always in this sort of bikini when it was pool parties it's disgusting women still have to deal with other women tearing them down for their clothing choices there's jess honey i do not need to dress for your husband and i certainly don't want him

imagining me naked love it this is this is not why the baddies wear thong bikinis one rule for everyone else and their own rules for them double standards at their finest yeah yeah yeah totally agree now and bit they shouldn't be cancelled for that though because listen they've still got a target audience of people with those that will agree yeah and that's fine and you know we get a lot of stuff all the time of uh things we say hate on us like for you know you shouldn't be talking about surgery and and the way you carry on you two slag mothers the way you talk yeah it's not that we're not that the things we talk about a group like yeah like we're we're a we're a disgrace to women so that's fine like and if that's your niche then perfect and we have our

people yeah like they're not our people but they they're yours yeah um but then someone was saying that like her m&s brand uh brand deal might be getting cancelled that's not fair that's not fair at the end of the day this is what the podcast is we talk about things that are going on and we have an opinion but you also the one thing we always say is you should be allowed an opinion we don't agree with that opinion but they should be allowed to have that opinion and they have a podcast and They should be able to say that that's their opinion and they shouldn't then be cancelled because of it. They've not said anything fucking horrific.

They've just said that they don't like women in thong bikinis and collagen in the lips. That's up to them. So I think although we're debating it and we disagree with it, I don't think people should be cancelled because of their view. Like M&S, well, come on.

Like if that's true, I think that's too far. Like we've said our piece, now let's carry on kind of thing. Although if they are dropping them, we are big fans of M&S Hale, aren't we? so we are available. We are available and we could wear a thong

whilst shopping in M&S. I don't think M&S sell thong bikinis. Do you not? No. They sell thongs. They sell thongs. I would go round M&S

in a thong for a fee. You wore the bum knickers for the Brits. I did. They're discontinued now. I did. You bought one of the last pairs of M&S.

You got me them, didn't you? Yeah. I needed them. I had no arse in that dress. I just needed it. Oh my God, that night though,

somebody brushed past me and I was just fucking mortified. They didn't mean to touch my arse but I know they did you know when someone just brushes past you literally not on purpose and I knew that

they were thinking what is under that what have you got under there and I was like oh that's awkward alright guys let's have a little break

and we'll be back we'll be back in a minute right we are back from the break and what we're going to talk about now just while we're at it is things that we could say to our boyfriend

that they could never say to us. So tell us how this came about. So, we've just been talking about, like, women, female empowerment, the way that women speak of each other. Empowering each other, being kind, all those things. He's equal to men. And it got us thinking, basically,

we can say stuff to men that they would never be allowed to say to us, And that's absolutely fine. Yeah. When we talk about women's rights, like, to a degree. So, do you want to do one each? Yeah.

So, these are the things that we think that we can say to men, but men could not say back to us. Okay. First one. Oh, don't touch me. Stop talking. Your breath stinks.

Imagine that. You fucking stink. Why are you breathing like that? I don't care. Go away. why the fuck are you cheering so loud oh you're not wearing that tie and the other one is it's the sex rejection yeah this really makes me laugh so if a man if our boyfriend tries it on william oh no not tonight i'm not in the mood no get off you're always trying it on now can we just spin

this if a man if we tried it on the man and he said to me oh i'm not in the mood get off i would be mortified for one and then i'd be like stop touching me your breath stinks i'm like what's wrong with you and it's so funny because there are so many things it's so true we're like we want women's you know rights and all this but there are certain things that we're allowed to say and they're just not allowed to say it's like the outfit thing you just said one then if you said and i say it to james all the time oh absolutely not yeah that what are you that looks ridiculous why would you put those pants go and get changed those trainers oh my god look at the blackheads on your nose yeah we need to sort the nose out you've got the hair yeah you

need to trim your nose hair you've got hair here yeah or even sometimes like you need a haircut get your nails done please now can you imagine if your feet are disgusting if a man said to us oh my god you're wearing that absolutely not take that off imagine you got ready and then ed went no you look ridiculous go and get changed our confidence would be on the floor absolutely what other things are there guys comment if you can think of things that would be fine for us to say but if a man said it back it would just we'd be ringing our friends and they'd be like you need to leave him he's abusing you wouldn't we but we're absolutely fine with it i love that right i think we need to lead into a section i think it's going to be like really fun actually because

of the random shit that we buy what did we buy this week what have you what have you spent your hard-earned money on ed's hard-earned money what have you bought this week and then i'm gonna do the same right okay so news just in these are my random buys of the week some are new some are old some are viral products some are expensive some are not they're all over the place all over the place true dates okay these are i swear i saw them on the kardashians but basically they're £1.99 and they're a pack of dates we all know how good dates are for us your hair your nails your skin everything to poo your pants i love that for us and basically you can get them in all different flavors a nutritious fibrous snack sour apple watermelon cookie dough dates are dates

are big so true dates okay a vino oat bath i've told lauren about this so she's been having issues with tommy's skin anyone with like eczema dry skin issues or just literally like wanting hydrated gorgeous skin oat baths are amazing you've all seen well some may have not but putting oats into tights a pair of opaque tights and then putting it in the bath right is a really good way of like the oat juice yeah but this aveeno oat bath come in sachets and you pour it in the bath easy breezy i wonder if you could make overnight oats with it as well double it up now this i bought it with me to show you just the bottle oh nice this is the vita liberata the glaze i'll get them to send you some if you want to try it

this is a tripeptide tan body serum they've described it as the nad plus of tan oh it's got tripeptide one and seven i think in it and basically i've got it on now that's one layer really nice stunning it's like a clear serum that comes out and you just so you know that dermalogica one that i swear by but it's like i think it's like 100 quid um it's the same concept of that but with the fucking tan in it revolutionary i don't think it's out yet but if you want to try it let me know i do want to try it they can send you i was one of the first people to try it and it's fucking fabulous i should have a code have a look on my instagram home bargains is now on home bargains is fucking home fucking bogo

homie bogo oh my god look at the selection of pinch home outdoor lights hinge farm they've got i got the girls who's love heart pajamas they'd sold out i wanted to get the girls then but they only had one and i thought i need to get both of them or they'll be all right do you think their branding is like targeting homosexuals it always makes me laugh when i go in top brands bottom bargains or prices homo bargains tops and bottoms never noticed that i mean maybe that's why i like it as well um listen guys on there i got like my lenore spring awakenings £1.49 for some mini eggs what there's tan on there about a tenner in tesco there's a 69.99 canoe

the best offer that i got on there they had like these easter things for the kids with like different like kinder bits in and they were like 2.99 then um the best offer was that i got the lenore beads search how much they are i swear they were two pounds for a day i love i like to go for a trip there though it wasn't that it was then also they've got all of the spanish cleaning products as well on there and you know how fucking annoying it is carrying your yeah look two pounds 85 for the for the go scroll down i'm going on scroll down two pounds 85 for the lenore beads they should usually be like 7, 8 quid. I really

like home bargains and I like going in with the kids because it's not expensive so they can just pick shit up Before the Easter holidays, crafty bits cleaning bits, snacks it's got it all. I like it. I wonder if they want to work with us I'm in there all the time

I would. I'd go in there in a thong Same. As well as M&S And they've got some really nice candles Right, so home bargains online. That is an absolute shout out I can't remember if I said last week so william my friend him and his spanish mate they uh him and his mate sorry they love spanish cleaning products no let me just quickly find out right okay um my last couple now sorry lauren i'm taking over no no i love you serene mist is that how you say it you serene really good right so

my friend skinvestment i know i talk about her all i just bought something off her record oh my god have a look at her page guys obsessed beyond obsessed um she put me onto it because basically it's a body lotion mist so it's a hyaluronic body mist i use it on my face i use it on my body it's stunning you know what it's like some days when you can't be arsed putting your body lotions on putting body lotion it's like it's a job yeah exactly that's why that vita one with it all in love so basically you just go you get out the shower go shh and you can put it on damp skin as well because it's hyaluronic love love love love number 98 beauty hair product so that's lorna's is it i think lorna has something to do with it i didn't actually know that i love the

branding very chic the mask can we talk about the mask is it hair mask you should ask if they can send you it to try okay it's fucking phenomenal really phenomenal and last but not least a very rogue one slob proof paint pens right basically because i've just moved house and like there is you know when you see like a bit on a wall or a chip or something you start to notice little bits and i'm a bit ocda my decorator filled all of these pens up for me i think it's like 20 quid for 10 and they're like a you know like a tusha clap pen yes but he puts like living room bedroom wow that's very that's a very fucking good idea and that will stop me screaming in children's faces you know like in the bathroom when you see like it's when something's somewhere that keeps

getting something brushed past it and i've got one in the we've got one of tommy's chairs and whenever we pull it out i'll look behind it and it's been catching it and it's really not proof love that go proof paint pens where do we get them amazon of course right amazon's shout as well i love amazon right mine are on my phone so i'm going to read mine for you now mine are really random it's just shit that i bought this week and that's basically it so um okay one thing basically that's it i bought this week a silver cross high chair a black silver cross high chair and james i couldn't be asked james said that's very posh of you i know well james said get an ikea one because they're just so easy i've got the ikea ones it just didn't feel right he deserves a

He's so good. He deserves a throne. James came home and he's like, what's that? How much was it? £120. It's not that bad. It's quite expensive for hijab. But it's black.

It's really good. It's sturdy. And he sits in it. And his leg things go up. So his little legs sit out like that. And he's like, we were saying, is it Dr. Evil? Yeah. He sits in it because it's too big for him.

With a little blonde, fluffy head. His legs up and he's like, and he fucking loves it. And I keep saying to James, see? The egg hijab's really good as well. Is that a good one? I can't remember what this one's called but it's really really good and I really like it

I bought a shit tonne of baby boy tracksuits off Zara I just think Zara kids washes I know but he doesn't even like he's not in them that long he shits on them or something and they're still quite expensive they weren't bad

they weren't bad Matalan kids clothes I like Matalan kids and Asda kids clothes I get a lot from Asda Asda's nicer for girls though than boys no I thought that the Sam and Billy range

for the boys is nicer yeah but I dress him I don't I dress him quite like a mlad under and there i find that they were quite prince and you were taking a piss on me for letting teddy wear underarm he's still not wearing there's a difference between a tracksuit and an underarm i don't know why i get it all my gym kit why anyway

i bought a really nice brown leather jacket from zara it wasn't expensive so it's not real leather but it's like brown leathery look kind of bombery a bit tight around the waist you know it's got a drawstring and it's got a hood on it and i meant to wear it today and forgot i'm really annoyed about that and it wasn't expensive and it's really nice like a chocolate brown so i'll get the link so speaking of like boring shit i got the dr beckman stain remover off amazon i needed some more you know that that's great have you seen they've done a mini one well i posted it on instagram and someone messaged me saying that their carpet cleaner told them off for using this My carpet cleaner told me to use that.

I don't know. And said that it can damage your carpet. But what they recommended, again, Amazon, HG stain remover. And apparently it is their fucking dog. And it's like, it looks quite industrial. Yes. I've seen that.

And apparently that is the dog. The HG glass cleaner is fucking sick as well. So I ordered that. God, we're gimps. Then I ordered a Charlotte Tilbury brown eyeliner. A liquid one. Don't know if it's good yet, but said online it is. And then we haven't mentioned this.

you put me onto the sale the end sale didn't you there was a set the end clothing guys there was a sale on and i got a skims hoodie a black oversized one what i will say is i've got extra small and it's still fucking huge is it a men's one no but it's oversized but it really is you'd wear it no it's just like a hoodie you'd wear it with leggings as almost like a big hoodie you couldn't wear it with trackies as well you'd look homeless in the sale get 90 pounds i don't know what it's meant to be and then i got two skims t-shirts as well you know the everyday like whatever black ones and i think it was 60 pound for two and it was meant to be a hundred or something and then you got some really good bits i got a saint laurent hoodie and cap for 400 pounds together

bear in mind the cap on its own was meant to be 400 how funny by the way that we go from home bargains and oh too bad to that but if you save money on the home bargains you can spend on the fucking other stuff the pennies look after your pennies and something about pounds can i can i tell you something else that i'm absolutely loving i know you do hello fresh don't you um i love any form of me any prep like that just yeah no so there's this one that i've been using not an ad i'm a paying customer and i think it's called like nonatonda it's fresh pasta that they send me every week two different ones oh for me and ed and is it nona tonda i think oh nona as in grandma in italian and basically like you pick whatever like risotto is it not

yeah look oh so you pick you and ed make it look at how nice they look are they you can have risottos that you can then put like a chicken breast on the top or you can have like your standard like do they send you the sauce as well they send you so it comes they come in a box each one no lauren when i tell you and it's not expensive i love pasta it comes in a box and it's got the fresh you have to eat it in like three days yeah the fresh pasta the sauce and whatever cheese goes with it as well god yeah and i'm not even joking you know like those days when you're like i need something in my gob in the next 20 minutes and a glass of wine and a pasta that is it nona tonta can you share us both your friend code i will share you yeah i'll share you

oh or a friend we'll have a bit of that i think you get 20 quid off brilliant yeah i look i like anything that involves ease have you tried those five meal preps i've told you to try them for ages no not yet so basically because i need something that feeds everyone sometimes and and like yeah i need like a big you're like a big have you heard of the fuel hub ones though i've heard of fuel hub the fuel hub ones are meant to be are they good as well really good i like that other one called simmer but i didn't i looked at them no nothing against it just something wasn't sitting with me about it i don't know why yeah i have no reason i can vouch for the five ones was a paying customer of them for about a year really good gorgeous uh but then i just got

to say me but i want to try the fuel hub ones next also on the back of shit we've been buying what about shit we've been watching did you you said you had some things that you've been watching i'm sure you did real housewives of beverly hills i'm only three episodes into that i'm right it looks different she's had some kind of amazing thing done stop a sec i think she was awful really yeah she doesn't look as good she looks like wrinkled some smoking something looks off anyway i think dorit looks different um i can't work out why erica looks fucking erica always looks on sensation do you know what erica is as white as a ghost and i think this is all my god i said to ed last night that this is why i said look at erica's porcelain skin the reason why

that lady is i think she's 60 something you know no google erica jane age i think she's 55 no but the reason that she looks so fucking good she doesn't go in the sun her body is 54 oh my god she looks about honestly and i genuinely believe that it's because she's had no sun damage her skin is so white she wears 50 everywhere but she pulls off that white look yeah she does couldn't well she could wear tan if she wanted but the reason that her skin's so good i think is because she hasn't fucked it with the sun girls if you're listening to this and you're young you know even now you can change it around but if you're young enough to not fuck with the sun it's like his skin on her arms everything take it from me as someone who has fucked their

skin with the sun and now it's too late also one thing i don't watch a lot of tv and there's two things i've watched recently that i just thought i'd share with you because it's an anomaly that I will share this shit. There is a film called I Swear and it is about the guy with Tourette's. It's fantastic. I started watching that and it's a bit slow at the beginning.

It's slow. There isn't really like a... It is slow. It came out last year, it says. But it is really good. We thought the acting was great. Parts of it were very funny. It really made you think

and it was really sad at the beginning, actually, because he basically has Tourette's and it was in the maybe 70s or 80s and obviously nobody knew what it was. Everyone thought he was naughty. It was just, I thought the acting was fantastic and it's got some actors in that I really like. So I swear, really enjoyed that.

And then also there's one more thing. Fucking hell, I forgot the name. I fought the law with Sheridan Smith. I'm not at the end of it yet. I think I've watched that. It's quite old. I don't know. I've only just seen it on Netflix

and it's about a woman whose daughter was murdered and the police made loads of fuck ups with it and she was found under the bath. Anyway, Sheridan Smith's a fantastic actress and I like most things she's in. So it's not the best thing I've ever watched in the world, but I think it's worth a watch. Nice.

Nice. And then one last thing on my list that I've been drinking. Why is your list okay, but mine's not? I said I've got one more thing on the list. No, no, drinking, you don't do that. Matcha. Oh. I have had the Costa coconut and strawberry matcha.

It's quite nice. That's not matcha. that is a syrup yeah like it's quite nice but the reason i wanted to mention it is because i told we were talking about match and this is with coconut milk you are a convert convert convert to match but only if it's got i love starbucks with vanilla syrup it has to have a syrup in it i can't just do no i can raw dog it i can't i can not yet um so basically i've drank match i just you know i've drunk you have you have and i think it's the benefits of what attracted me to matcha that i thought we now think we may be wrong do you not think every single thing that we do

this happens so basically um i drink the ceremonial grade matcha and i make my own want at home i do uh the unhomogized milk from dalesford farm um the aaa ceremonial matcha then i put some mct oil in it james has got that in the cupboard i wondered what some ashwagandha and then something else i can't remember um crushed up propanolol yeah uh we heard a rumor We did. So Ashley told me the other day, but I take what Ashley says with a slight pinch of salt. For example, Erica Jane's 60 odd.

But we fact-checked it. Did we fact-check it, Lucas? Apparently, if you use... Let me check I've got this right. There's two things we heard about matcha. If you have your matcha with whole milk... Cow milk. Cow milk, it cancels out the benefits of matcha.

Well, ladies and gentlemen, matcha is generally considered very healthy because consume the entire powdered tea leaf rather than just an infusion um you know it's high in antioxidants contains lithianine l-theanine which is really good for your energy and stuff like that yeah and you know many studies suggest green tea consumption is associated with a lower risk of cardiovascular disease and inflammation does milk stop iron absorption yes milk can reduce iron consumption absorption yeah it can temporarily inhibit absorption of non-heme iron however um i will say and also we said about hair loss sorry yeah so so basically supposedly all of us girly worlds that

are doing the most by taking our iron supplements high protein diets then you know we think we're being super healthy by choosing a matcha over a vanilla iced latte no supposedly girls were coming into the hairdresser and saying my hair's falling out my hair's falling out everyone's hair's falling out and it's because matcha blocks iron absorption well apparently matcha is generally healthy and safe whole milk can slightly reduce iron absorption but the effect is very very small and it wouldn't normally cause hair loss unless you already have low iron or poor intake some a lot of women do have low iron though so so basically our tips after reading that are if you're taking an i the i spoke to someone about all of this and we had this debate and she said

take your iron supplements a good hour or two before your matcha right so this goes in your tummy and starts going on to work bitch and then use a almond milk with your matcha instead okay see this is a thing you just james who is into this food stuff at the minute says almond milk's terrible because it's full of seed oils which is like the plenish one the plenish um anyone wondering plenish milks are the best ones because they're three ingredient right okay that is good to know um and you can order like a big case i get a case of them off amazon that's good to know because i know a lot of almond milk that you just get off the cat you look at it and you're like wow and this is where the mct oil steps in so i have the bulletproof

mct oil yes health health health oh they're doing really well at the minute they're everywhere they are and i'd love to work with them and it's just impossible um that's where i got my nama juicer from yes you when you move when i've got space so my ginger shots that i made this morning in the chef's kiss so the mct bulletproof mct or that me and james have got and if you want that barista style foam right you can't achieve that with these milks that are the three ingredient milks so james is right the barista ones so you know when you read like barista oatmeal you think yeah frothy yeah yeah let's do it no no it's got the seed oils and binders in it so that it froths up right so what i do then is i do it myself at home so i will put the plenish oat or almond milk

and the three ingredient one so i think it's got water sea salt and then fine i also do have my own milk maker called an almond cow um but i need to start getting back into that but anyway that's by the by and if you put literally half a teaspoon of the mct oil in your thraffer yeah alongside that it makes the makes the oil there you go like what you can also use olive oil as Well, he's not got MC2 on. People are talking about doing a shot of olive oil. What is this olive and lemon? A shot of olive oil before you eat.

Apparently, it helps for the bad stuff not to go in. Half lemon, half olive oil in the morning. The guy with the body. The guy with the person who's on the Kardashians, you know. Where he's had a new arsehole. Yeah, where basically everything is brand new. What's he fucking called? I don't know, but I wouldn't really want to look like him.

Well, no, because he's like a 40-odd, 50-odd man. i know but do you know what i mean whereas if you said like oh erica jane does it i'd be like yeah he looks well i forgot his bloody name i can't remember is it brian brian is it brian feels like brian the longevity man anyway he said do you know who i like tim the biohacker yeah i like him he says some controversial he says some controversial things but i quite like him i like divinia taylor i like divinia taylor yeah she says some yeah i think people that say controversial things are fun but that's the problem if you listen to every single bit of advice then you would eat air have you seen all stuff about people talking about peptide peptides

getting their instagram blocked yeah guys obviously i can say it on here that's why i don't really talk about it i chat about it a bit on other on other platforms but on instagram i can't i do take peptides i have gone on about it for about a year eight six months a year i've been saying it's going to be big they're amazing i think they are but they're still not legal three years now which one's nad yeah yeah um i take all the other ones but they're not legal and apparently if you talk about it now it gets people really angry it does and they lose and apparently the instagrams have been taken off so i can't risk when people say what is it i can't people as well i was watching some tiktoks and they're getting reported for posting the kids now

really but that exploitation hang on i've just had a something's reminded me of something somebody i can't think who but i saw somebody on instagram um a big influencer saying somebody had reported their picture for that child exploitation yeah and i don't remember who it was what it was but i've just remembered that interesting now guys thank you so much for listening please share online the more you spread the word the more we can do for you so get sharing screenshot where you're listening take a little picky tag us in there we absolutely love it every share every comment every like we see it all and now we've got some new and exciting news on patreon we actually have upgraded everyone a little bit free of charge of course so with your patreon membership these

are the things you get you get the episode a whole day early at 5 p.m on a tuesday you get the video episode ad free you also get the bonus episode in video and ad free every single friday you get the direct message feature on there you get access to all of the chats and you get exclusive discounts access to first priority of tickets cosmetic consult you do a lot on there we have competitions on there now and again i'll just be like does anyone want this outfit yeah and chuck it on there we get so so much stuff um so yeah you've got to be on there because i'm about to tell you guys on the bonus i don't know if you remember fleece girl you slept with someone and found oh my god yeah um i've got a semi-update kind of like i'm running no it is but it isn't i'm

gonna i'm gonna have to tell you about it after right guys thank you so much you