Nip Tuck - Double Chins and Perfume

Episode Date: July 23, 2024

On this week’s episode we chat - danger wanks, our best perfumes and can you get rid of a double chin? If you want bonus episodes then sign up to our Patreon.com/niptuckpod or you can subscribe to Apple subscriptions. Send in your dilemmas and slutty sues to [e-mail] Music courtesy of BMG Production Music  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

guys hello and welcome to nip tuck not giving a i feel like you're having like an anxiety moment she just hit the microphone and gone like an old lady i feel a bit funny i need to tell you something really funny right so we had a bit of drama this morning didn't we had a studio fight so uh we can say that yeah yeah so our studio we've got a phone call we're all in the cafe like we do the calf um before and christina gets a phone call to say sadly the studio had been double booked and christina was she's a real feisty young lady like scary i don't want to cross her and she was like well i understand what you're saying here but unfortunately we cannot move um anyway so we were like fuck this we're gonna turn up at the studio and fight whoever

thinks they're going in and it was 10 men and it was 10 men so it literally was 10 men so that's easy if it was other women it wouldn't no no you can just kick them in the willy and run whereas it was 10 like straight football men so we're like we've got this anyway listen to this for funny so i come in and i didn't realize they were the podcast people i went in i went for a wee the wee turned into a woo so i'm sat there right listening to this right and so i'm sat there and i think oh no this is a poo and next thing i hear oh my god ashley and i was thinking oh my god no no and i couldn't get off and ashley's going where's lauren and it's someone we knew and she's going i've not seen you for ages babe where's lauren lauren and i was thinking oh and the poo

i was like i can't get out and then i thought someone's gonna come to the toilet and i'm sat having a poo she's going where's lauren and i was sat there like i can't get it out and then i was thinking if you come in and it smells anyway i came out and i was like hi i thought you were being a bit yeah and you kept going where are you lauren lauren i was thinking i can't get it out quick enough oh my god that just reminds me of a story from the other week my cleaner was came at a different time and i went in the house went to the downstairs toilet needed a poo who poos in their downstairs toilet i just needed a poo like so i just went in so i start doing this i could never right and i leave the door open because no one's in the house the door's open i'm having a

poo and the next thing i hear i hear the front door go and the panic and my poo was half like i couldn't go back and she comes in and she's going lauren and i'm going and i was like just in the bathroom so yeah we uh we we won the fight anyway didn't we and i don't know what the podcast was gonna be some boy thing with football people yeah sounds shit yeah no one wanted to listen anyway surely um right so i this week had cool laser oh no how bad it's i've still got to wear like my glasses all the time it was very funny um because lauren had it and i was like she must have done something wrong for her face oh yeah everyone yeah you were like oh what did you do did you not do you drink tap water before like there was something i was like no honestly

i've done nothing and i woke up and i look like elephant man like my nose even swelled up i was like I've got an infection James was fuming he's like you keep doing these things to yourself and you look like an idiot and he's like it's never gonna go down you need to go to hospital um and it did go down yours went it's like really bad but then it goes down quite quickly doesn't it yeah yeah but we need to show those pictures um I looked like a moon head yeah you did and like it looked like just like um Ed said to me because me and him watch Real Housewives all the time he went you look like um what's the name's mom you know miami what's she called mara marisol and it was the fact that ed knew like

i don't defend it and google it if you don't know google marisol's mom i've only had it done i really liked her by the way she was psychic wasn't she yeah i liked her and she just said it how it is yeah i liked it um i have only had cool laser under my eyes once and then the downtime i just couldn't be arsed doing it again yeah and you need to do it a few times and i just it hurts it really hurts it oh my god i have got so i went to um skin a dress ready because i thought shit i'm getting married in two months and i have let everything go but look at my head i've got my botox yeah but you have to time it for the wedding so we sat and worked everything out and i have got a lot i've got the next two months of appointments like yeah my lip i don't know what the fuck i'm

gonna do oh okay i needed to talk to you about the lip right so i just i had my lips done on thursday they look really nice thanks bella did them um but i've got a cold sore i've not had a cold sore for so long but it's because we've been so busy we have run down and this weekend i was gonna sort out um moving all the kids bedrooms around and um i booked a nanny on sunday and i was like yeah right i've got all the bags i'm ready to go and i just lay in bed and slept yes and it was i needed it yeah i've been like that this weekend so lips topolase topolase have you heard of this no so there's a huge number now of people that are allergic to highlase and it can just happen yeah one day like you can be fine with it and then it's like a response or something yeah

i think it's your body's like response to the like a fight off like yeah so i was watching a tiktok about under eye tear trough and basically loads of people have now realized that tear trough is not good um and it might be good at the time but then years later it can start swelling and going weird and there was a girl and she was like if you're i'm allergic to hyalase or dissolver basically and she said you can now buy this product called topolase right i think you need a prescription for it like with all the good stuff and um i'll give it you tomorrow i think it's like 130 quid right and it's tiny it's like two three mil and you crack it open and it's powder and water and you squeeze it and it's a topical product shut up and you rub it on in three goes

you have to wear gloves or go to a practitioner for it and it dissolves what but only superficial like your lip or your under eye no way that's brilliant because i'll tell you what dissolver really hurts as well so i have i don't know what to do so i've basically oh my god by the way i was looking at because some of our recent videos have gone fucking massive haven't they on instagram and tiktok so i was looking at them and i was looking at like our old videos that had done really well my lip my top lip was not okay i loved it i look i kept telling you she kept going more more and i was like no they looked awful no you didn't look actually watch back you'll be surprised now your lips were very big and i like a big sausage it was a sausage

and i've been there before with i'm it was my cheeks yeah and you got filler blind i kept getting filler blind yeah and getting more and more so i looked at this video and i have got a full-on sausage so i much much prefer my lips since i dissolved them i didn't dissolve the whole lot i went to actually just dissolve a lump um and then a bit more and i thought i quite like it so now i'm in a bit of a tricky situation because i haven't got time also really don't want to put myself through through the depression to entirely dissolve my top lip and you're allergic and i'm allergic um and then to refill it i actually haven't got time before the wedding but i've also got my top lips lumpy like there's a little gap well i'll do the first treatment on

you on wednesday if you want in my house of the top lace and then maybe i'll just get a little bit of filler to even it out because i've just got a dip there but i don't want to put any more in now and i'm just in a right predicament and the next predicament i have i'm gonna have to put a bit of filler i've got a real you'll have seen it a real like no i have but it's nice to we're talking about nasal labial fold no i've got a nice no you don't but from a certain angle i've got you don't you don't even charlotte noticed it and she doesn't like putting anything she was like do you not you need nasal labial folds otherwise you start to look monkey hamster like hamster no i'm just thinking really your face is all one one level it's like next to my

nose there i just think i need a facelift um i need i need oh i need to say something as well someone left him one of the stunning and it was really angry they were angry she had a double chin yeah so basically i now on a q a a few weeks ago i know what they're referring to someone put what is the best treatment for a double chin and i replied back saying i facelift because that is the best thing for bitch i said what i said yeah right i have done every single treatment on the double chin i've lost weight i've done the treatment if it's a hereditary double chin right like my nan had a facelift years ago when facelifts weren't even a thing it's just something i have yeah and that's it and if you want we will recommend you to go and spend all

your money you're not saying for my budget because also when people ask me a question they go right my budget they need to say my budget is this my time is this not what's the best thing but the best thing is yeah but it's not accessible for everyone but the question wasn't on a budget and i don't want a facelift yeah um so we could say right go and have aqualix go and have lemon bottle i've had it all um i actually i haven't had aqualix for many many years that did work at first for me it did work when i had that done and morpheus did work on certain areas did nothing for me morpheus but but again like what it's so expensive now like you're spending like 1200 quid it's a lot and it might not i feel like the double chin question is probably one of the

most asked questions our age our age and i think the problem you have is just to kind of digress a bit because we do get asked this a lot there's two different things here number one fat okay so a double chin that is fat which means chunky wonky fat you can feel it and grab it first of all if you are not at your ideal weight don't start like fucking with the fucking with the chin lose the weight and some of the chin will go but then you get people like i'm at an ideal weight yeah yeah so the fat you could look at things like aqualix lemon bottle i've seen it to be fair i've seen results that look pretty good i guess you could start there um but then the the other thing is skin yeah and there's two different things so i've got thin skin i've got thin skin

so i have this little double chin there and it's not fat it's skin and that's not going anywhere and i think it was maybe as well from gaining losing gaining losing very quick and i do think it was from when i used to do shit loads of jaw filler and it's made yeah yeah absolutely so when people ask that question yes you could do the aqua it's their lemon bottle i don't have a exact answer as whether i think it works i've seen really good before and after olivia atwood's jaw looks incredible and she did that post didn't she so then the other you know what can we just say i really like her for opening herself up to agree agree she's not arsed and she does it and i like because we were talking about some other celebrities the other day that have clearly had stuff done

that kept getting asked if they'd had stuff done and once you open yourself up to that it's it's not you do get a bit of backlash yeah of course you do there's somebody that looks like she's had some surgery recently and people are really questioning it and we were kind of talking about whether she should discuss it or not and we again are in that same place where we're like don't know really i don't know if you should or not like kind of up to you if you don't want to answer that question i liked how olivia ratwood did that yeah i did so that she's had so then the other thing you could do is you could have lipo to your chin which i've seen decent results for but what we weren't sure on was the face tight which is slightly different to lipo so it is i

think it's radiofrequency it's the radiofrequency that can mush your face well that um well the lipo can as well ah okay okay so basically i don't know we're not doctors we are not but i'm only repeating what i know off instagram and from my surgeon he said um right i need to ask you these questions have you ever had hypho have you ever had face or jaw tight have you ever had threads have you ever had any ultrasound based treatments like all therapy and i was like no to be fair we've discussed the all therapy thing before because if you google all therapy the first thing that comes up is all therapy were in my face and we know that girl that had to have a facelift very early on yeah because she said all therapy literally did that um and dr nyack is like

the top facial plastic surgeon in the world and he did a video that explained very interesting well um about all of the ultrasound or um radio frequency based things especially on a slimmer person with thin skin so think of like a piece of meat when you fry it it goes small and tight doesn't it and what he said is when they open up your face it's like layers of a book yeah so you can glide in between each layer i think they're called fascias yeah fascia fascia and you can pull them apart so you can see where the facial nerves are and he did a video on all of it but he said when you start doing these treatments which are made to sizzle and tighten it all goes together and then they can't get in the layers the layers so that's why and

lipo to the chin i have seen a i've seen good results but again it creates scar tissue so it's kind of like i guess you've got to work out how much it bothers you if it really bothers you at that time you might think fuck it i'll have lipo to the chin it'll it'll make me happy and it will improve things for a while i might never want a facelift but it's just yeah it's a question we get asked a lot so i know we just what what's the word then we we digress but i just think that's quite an important thing i forgot where we started with and like what we said though if you're gonna ask us a question guys make sure you put in there like you know i'm not at my ideal weight at the minute because then the answer would be i don't want to spend under 500 quid what's the best thing

i can do and we'll be honest i would say get a pt get your ideal weight see if the chin's still there yeah that would be my advice because often and sometimes it's like gua sha at home there's loads of videos on youtube that you can watch our little zip halo really helps yeah as well but it's not like permanent and that's the other thing i think people want cheap easy no downtime and permanent and it don't fucking exist yeah so it's like you've got to just if it did then i wouldn't had a facelift exactly and i've tried everything it's the same with the stomach everyone i would say the second biggest question is loose skin from babies and our answer is always really honest and real like that i yet i'm to find something that has planage has met flint it's made a

difference it's made a bit of a difference but once that skin is stretched and damaged stretch marked ripped almost the elasticity you ain't getting it back the way we explain this is it's like a piece of elastic fabric if lauren and i were holding that i'm pulling it towards the other side of the room and you know when your elastic goes in a garment yeah and you can see where the elastic is ripped yeah that's like your skin you can never repair that's what a stretch mark is it's where the fibers have split exactly you all you can do is cut it off yeah or try your best to stick it it's not good and i would just rather be really honest than tell someone to go and have some stuff done any creams that claim to fucking get rid of stretch marks are bullshit and you're

wasting your money on them yeah i agree so your eyes are looking much better i i've got a treatment plan of all the shit i need to do for the next two months because i woke up and thought fucking fuck i'm getting married really soon and i i spent like months preparing like a year preparing and now it's just before the wedding and everything's falling to shit yeah but you're gonna look gorgeous whatever happens oh my god what how gorgeous did that wedding look that i saw oh beautiful it's someone that we don't even know but i sent her this wedding and it looked absolutely stunning it looked gorgeous um right okay so lauren what the fuck were your instagram stories about the rain honestly if i my life when i people say like my life is a movie

it really fucking is my life is a movie so i'm not a good one no not this little life of mine it's that but i love this little life um so wholesome so let me tell you so i didn't have the kids this weekend so my intention this weekend was to just have a chill trying to kind of catch up on stuff i'd load a content to record i need to pack the kids clothes for our wedding holiday which is really stressing me out imagine having to get four kids outfits all anyway so i've been doing that and i thought i'm gonna get on with that i'm gonna go to the gym anyway my mom had signed herself up she fucking does these things to relay for life she looks really good at the minute by the way she looks really for her age she's 17 october she looks stunning she's amazing

so she'd signed herself up to this thing her and a friend are liz with the gym and what it is is for 24 hours on the race course somebody even in the night all night when it was raining the full night but somebody has to be on that course all the time so you make a big team so i know i know it's charity mate so say 10 of you and you do it in slots but someone so someone does the night shift blah blah so she'd signed herself up to this and she was doing it with a friend and they've got the t-shirts and they were going to walk around together and then you have breaks and stuff and there's all sort of like hot dog stands you know you'd have hated it james wouldn't even eat from it um so anyway this was the plan she signed herself up and i was a bit like the fuck is that

right all right i'll pop down and see you and like wave a flag for you anyway the night before she rings me and she's like such and such as doesn't want to do it anymore and i was like what should have texted her about tomorrow and she said she just doesn't want to do it anymore so obviously my heart then breaks for her and i was like right okay i'm not bothered i'll do it she knew other people on the team but she just wanted a friend with she's like i'll do it by myself and sat there in the car thinking for fuck's sake and i was like i'll do it and she oh no i couldn't really and i said i will start so i'm not doing the full thing mom i fucking can't be arsed but i will turn up and i will be there when it starts and because she said to me which really broke my heart she

went it's fine it would have just been nice to have turned up to something not on my own because obviously dad's dead um and i was fuming at him i thought you will go and fucking die won't you now i have to do this shit in the rain um so i doubt he would have he wouldn't have done it anyway he wouldn't have been at the pub he wouldn't have done it anyway um but you know i think when you've got somebody like christina and your mum's on her own you feel this like it's the role reversal and you have to like with your mum and dad you know your mum's fine your dad's there i feel like i've got another baby please don't die dad i know it's no you're fucked because you have to look after them because you think you're on your own you get guilt i have guilt constant guilt so

anyway i thought fuck it i'll have to turn up so i went to the gym in the morning went to this race it is bouncing down with rain i turned up i just had my coat up with my hood up and i was like looking at her this weather is not the one i was like this is a fucking joke mom why the fuck would you sign up to something but you can't even be mean to i was i was like this is a fucking joke don't do this again anyway so we start and we're doing laps and you could have just donated to the charity i did as well oh god i didn't james did and then it's our money and then there's it starts off right and i'm just thinking what is this right and there's a brass band i just put why was the what was the edition of the brass band so it's a big massive running track and we set off and

there's a brass band and then we're walking behind it for the first like and it's pouring down and i've got my hood up and i was just looking at my mom like you fucking and she was like smiling i'm like oops and we're going around this track so i did a few laps with her and then there's people like honestly it was just the i it was the weirdest thing and it was pouring down bless them and i bless them yeah kind nice people yes i mean i could not well it was me but i only did it for my mom um yeah and i just i would have just might take my money and let me go home yeah that's what i would have done yeah so i did a few laps and then james bless him he's lovely i've been asked to do stuff like that and i just say can i pay yeah so anyway she they did

it they did the full 24 hours and me and james went for a drink that night because football was on and um we were so glad that it was really near the running track and i'm so glad we didn't remember because we would have turned up at like midnight pissed up and done some laps with them like we would have walked past and like oh sorry um so yeah that's why and then at the same time i was saying i went to my mom do you know where ashley is she's like where is it san carlo and i was like i'm fucking here and i was wet through and i was like what are you doing ashley and i just thought so then my whole day that was planned work i ended up following a brass band around around a fucking track i just i couldn't you couldn't even write the shit that happens to

me child free day and i was just looking around and then at the end i get back there when it finishes i said i'll come for when it ends as well and you might have seen that in the video they're all sweet caroline and i was just like what the hell what the fuck is my life but that is what happens to me all the time weird shit like that yeah it does yeah and you went to and then your car your car my car yeah what about my car the the wheels on the bus broke yeah so then i paid the other week an extortionate amount of money for a new tire you know when you get a nice car and everyone goes oh well that's stupid you'll be fucked when the tires go and you think oh shut up you're jealous you're jealous anyway tire goes and i'm sat there in this

random place anyway then james goes to me baby tires bald one of your other tires is bald it's got the track so i had to go again and i'm sat there in this room i couldn't even touch anything this grotty room all the men staring all the men and then they come in and went i'm really sorry love your other one's bald as well oh fuck so i've got to go on tuesday straight after doll to go and get another tire but one of my um followers a girl i know on instagram messaged me and said you need to get the rac cover and basically you pay something like 30 odd quid a month and you're covered for your tires oh that's worth it it is but not now i've already paid in excess of a grand and a half oh yeah i could have paid for your rac for like 10

years yeah i know i know when did you last change a tire i don't deal with any of that stuff no it's a man's job basically if a light comes up at one of ed's offices is like 10 minutes away from my house which has got a garage and i just drop it off and just say sort this shit out yeah that's the dream yeah that's what you want whereas i'm sat there in this thing like on my way to get piss wet through i just i don't know i don't know i don't know how i got there but however he has forgot to put the bins out for about the last month no that's not okay that's not all right i will do the tires i will do but you will not catch me dragging a bin mind you i did have to when i was always raining when i used to do it when i was single i used to feel really

sorry for myself like you know when you look at your life yeah and i pulled it out and i used to think you poor girl yeah you poor single girl literally guys next time your fuck buddy comes around make sure it's a thursday night so they could do the bins on the way it's your bin day friday morning yeah same yeah which is even worse because i'm always dead busy on a friday do you have a bin cleaner no no so listen to this i've got a bin cleaner now and i've been looking for your thing about cleaning bins yeah um and i found one and he like cleaned the bin does your bin not stink my stinks are fags i had to get the bin cleaned about six months ago ed was like make the bins need cleaning and you need to sort it out oh but i just rang sally and she sorted it

so she goes from doing bookings for you to bin cleaning yeah right anyway i'm talking fucking weird shit now it's gone it's gone all over the fucking show now speaking of stinky bins what about stinky perfumes did you like that link yeah yeah so we're going to talk about perfumes today on our little bargain bouquet because we feel like perfumes is a big thing and i do think with men when you smell them it can make a two out of ten all of a sudden a seven oh my god can we talk about fuck boys um perfume i've got one for you ombre nomad ombre nomad is now stunning though a hundred percent is it's stunning it's the most beautiful smell but there is not a drug dealer in the northwest it doesn't have it and i

card him from wearing it now i still love it i really love it i think it's one of the nicest smells but as i say it's a drug dealer's perfume yeah and also when i was pregnant and he has it like everywhere has one in his gym bag one in the car and he'd get in the car with the windows up and we'd be like and i'd go fucking mental yeah because things stink and then i go off things did you burp then i just burped as well um one of the first ways that i know i've implanted is perfumes and coffee really i could be wearing my favorite perfume i've worn for years and i go off it straight away i wonder what that is it's hormones is that what it is everything's like but the other uh the dior savage is a massive fuck boy that's a massive fuck boy i i bought

that james once we also really liked the abercrombie perfume yes what's it called fierce i don't lucas got us on to that yeah yeah no but i do think i'm really mad now it's become that that that smell hasn't it unfortunately whereas now we're now like ed it's not a businessman smell anymore it's like a so i've got a load of perfumes that i've brought in today because i'm very organized and i'm going to spritz a few i feel sick already i'm gonna have the worst headache ever and i'm gonna see what you think sick of being the test monkey right are we ready well no i'll ask christina about some as well ready i feel sick already at the thought yeah right i feel unwell oh i was waiting for like a spray in the face it's been a while since i had a spray

so that one is nishane and that is absolutely stunning it's called hundred hundred silent ways and that's unisex i like that it's got a slight feminine touch to it next one i wouldn't shag a man with that on though i would too feminine well i do or this one right okay it smells like um toilet cleaner that i've gone off massively now that one is um it smells like a toilet purer oh they're nice ones normally that smells like a toilet cleaner that's it's zerjoff herbapura and i was gonna say if you liked it you could have had it no it smells like too strong something that you use to get rid of poo marks in the toilet next one oh that's horrible that's mine that's portrait of a lady that's horrible i knew you wouldn't like that

that's a granny one next one that smells like a gift set a lavender gift set that you give to your gran okay well everyone compliments me all the time or they just want to know what i'm wearing i'm gonna just have some coffee because i feel like i'm gonna put the coffee up my nose you meant to smell the coffee aren't you to cleanse a minute okay that smells like the stuff that you spray in a car don't ask me permission i like that one don't like that either this one's my favorite oh i love this that's my favorite this one oh is it got vanilla oh i feel like it's very sexy this one oh how stunning that one that is it's got like a caramel vanilla that one's actually not expensive oh i love that what's that you can only buy it in dubai it's called

liar l-a-y oh i know stunning right it's like um like a honeycomb drink yeah that one's estee lauder bronze god everyone loves that for the summer yeah i don't love that i like that like when you've got a bikini on you don't really want to smell like i feel really dizzy when you've got a bikini on no one should be sniffing you they should just be looking at the goods then we have another one which i'm not gonna overwhelm you with because we've got an event to go to after this and it will give you a migraine but it's a dupe one what do you think of the dupes and that particularly dupes fucking disgusting horrendous horrendous we got sent some dupes and we were like