Nip Tuck - From Passports To Rib Removal

Episode Date: July 1, 2026

The girls are dishing out tips and tricks like not getting stung by bizarre passport rules that may stop you getting your flight and is it too early to get braces at the age of 7. The girls discuss the fun demonisers and Lauren's having to take some tricky parenting decisions with her daughter, as she's all about not being a regular Mum, but a cool Mum.As always the girls are chatting What We Bought This Week and they help a listener who's facing a tricky time with her partner who disabled all the cameras in their house whilst she was away...Head over to our socials @niptuckpod and click the link in our bio to find our YouTube, where full video episodes will be released every Wednesday at 5pm. If you're a Patreon member, not only will you get the Wednesday main episode the day before at 5pm, you'll now be able to watch the Friday Bonus too!Get in touch with your questions, dilemmas and Slutty Sue's via our Whatsapp or email [e-mail]

guys hello welcome to your favorite podcast it's wednesday it's nip tuck pod well tuesday if you're on patreon in fact ah yes now this is how many weeks have i got left three two got left yeah in life i'm gonna give up because you know i'm really tired um i think well i already know actually i need to speak to you about this because i just want july off you know um i think we've got three more weeks yeah so your last day recording is the 24th of june right and then i have the baby on the monday you go bye bye bye bye bye so i went to have a scan yesterday and i was like can you check the water yeah around the baby because there's been some losses water losses yeah and they were like yeah you've just been just seeing yourself i remember when i

went with tommy all the way to triage because i was stood there with james and water was dripping down my leg and i was like well what's working is that calm down it's fine i was like they've gone my waters have gone we've got how many weeks 36 37 well they could have gone well and we bundled up into the car because you have to go and get checked by the way girls yeah always james made some phone calls to like the mums that this that look we're gonna have to go to hospital because like we're gonna be a little bit late pick up lauren's potential waters have gone so everyone knew and then we then had to tell everyone afterwards you'd piss i'd piss myself and they were like you've just weed and i was like okay right guys what is coming up i did

something embarrassing at the park um i've got a passport rule for you if you're a travel gal like me you need to stay and listen to that because it's important and we're going to talk which we said we were going to about rib removal operation that's everyone's talking about at the minute yeah um so yes i did i ended up in hospital um is that when you sent me the picture of you with ed pushing you in the wheelchair i had another bladder infection in the in the heat wave and i didn't know but it makes you go into like labor yes it does why because it's an infection in the area yeah somewhere down there but it didn't even hurt when i was weeing or anything i didn't even know i had it isn't that weird yeah but it is there is when you get later on that can set labor

off so what did the hospital say just hang on in there i was just fine listen i'm fine i'm absolutely fine i'm fine just hang on i'm off to london tomorrow so yeah that's a lot it's a lot isn't it but you're going to that nice hotel yeah so that's a plus um what else has been going on what else has been going on right actually we need to have we need to continue the conversation that we just started and then stopped so you've got the kids christening yeah so i this morning was speaking to our amazing friend staff who is planning the event she did a really nice event for me the one that you came to at my house for the eye launch yeah and she did you she did your sip and see with teddy didn't she did my sip and see with teddy um well that night ended up with me

it's gonna be the same thing a face full of cake there's pictures of us i think cameron might have them if us yeah oh calm someone's got them if us throw it putting cake in each other's face mouth me bent over with you with a cake in my bum it so it's gonna be yeah it's gonna be like that again oh i need to prepare i need to take a week off after so i said to lauren a few weeks ago i was like i'm having a christening and um this story will not be how it happened i just want you to know like i was gonna ask you to be a godparent but you are really against being godparent it's not how it went you are no i did say that it kind of similar it was similar to that well first of all i didn't even know the date of the christening until just now so i have told it you about four

times and it's a very poignant date so luca so she told us do you know the date no i don't know but i'm terrible with dates anyway yeah because it doesn't matter to you because you're a single gay man any date is fine for you i wish i was you whenever we're yapping away in the group chat i'm like hello it's 5 45 a.m why if i was a single gay man i would be in bed till 10 a.m too so we cannot we're gonna have to wait to wake up you were really early the other day um and i thought why is lucas texting like it's normal for us to do it but i sometimes i just wake up very early i don't sleep well no did you piss the bed i haven't after you ate your frosties did i tell you about my jab situation though yeah he over jabbed no i just haven't jabbed in months

went on it woke up at 1am so i don't feel good woke up at six projectiled well that's self-inflicted it was like the scene in team america if you've seen that i have not seen that so you were and what was it from one of the jabs uh we goby made you really sick we goby does make you i will never touch we goby again so what are you gonna do thing isn't it well i've got run club today right so maybe do that instead it's very rainy do you fuck the people at run club no but I'm working on it at the same time as running

that's why I go to Wednesday run club there is some there is some serious serious I've heard that run clubs are for fucking no they are have you seen the one outside Reggie's in Hale

and everyone's so sexy and I sat there one morning like they are so i know of count multiples where people have had either affairs or relationships have begun at run club and there was drama around it and such and such you're sleeping with it and it was run club it was run club i think they i mean is it because you're like you're endorphins are going you're sweating you're doing something positive together and then you look at each other you look at each other and you're like oh let's oh my god how embarrassing would i be at run club

Oh, I would. I can't run. No. I would love to be able to run. I want to be that girl that runs, but I'm not good at running. Pilates, yeah, fine. Even a weight class, fine.

Nothing for me. Not running. I can incline walk very well. Do you know what? You actually, incline walking, girls, by the way, depends what your goal is. Really good for you.

It's actually better burning calories and toning your legs than running. Depends what you're trying to achieve. Has anyone got that Peloton that is the treadmill one? Because I've heard for that kind of thing, that is absolutely amazing so it's a what's it called alex a treadmill yeah but it inclines really really high it's very soft right and it comes with weights on the side so it tells you

to do like the arms at the same time at the same time yet meant to be really good james keeps saying that when we do the house he wants a little gym in there and i just feel like that's such a waste of fucking space when i could have something much more interesting than a little gym go to the gym then you're that bothered this is what i need to talk to you about the gym right went to look around the fairmont okay oh yeah oh yeah is it amazing oh my god so basically the mayor hotel is changing into the fairmont hotel yeah and it opens on the 20th this is in knutsford july yeah so by my house and i was like i'm gonna book some events there yeah so i went to go and have a look and then they ended up showing me around the spa did i know that i needed another

gym membership yeah well i do and it's so expensive right go on what is it so rough ballpark like five thousand pounds a year so how i need it monthly that doesn't add up for me that's not adding up what's that i've got it on my phone somewhere it is i texted you saying what it was what how much was it a thousand pound joining fee a thousand pound just to join yeah 416 pounds a month what the fuck i think it was working out a bit more than that but yeah okay guys but right what'd you get what'd you get they showed me around the rooms are stunning you know lauren lauren wait till i show you this but you don't get a room for 400 quid next time

you come around to mine you are coming over to this hotel it's a hotel it's got a gordon ramsey restaurant inside it lovely they're gonna do sunday roasts there they do need something in that way that's really really nice there are no and it's a lovely affluent area so it's weird that there's not like a stunning hotel for people to stay in at the back all the tables for the restaurants are there and you look out over the lake oh my god wow so then the gym has got this it's very like dark feeling and it's got a copper roof the pool so it like gives off this heaty vibe then it's got all of the heated beds and everything um treatment rooms it's got one treatment room where you can have like the mud treatment and they put you on the heated table

infrared lights on you with a shower coming down oh that sounds like overstimulated wow um it's got like an inside outside classroom so you feel like you're outside but you're actually inside on the ground floor or trees and stuff do you mean gym room do you mean like gym like where you do like classes oh my god i was thinking you meant like to study no then it's got the gym the gym's a small-ish size but for me it was the spa wow yeah give it 400 do you get classes with it yeah you'll get your classes with it and then it's got an outside like um that's a mall about this big and then it's got an outside sauna it's got outside ice bath it's got two other okay so it's there's value there but i just can do spa days there for extra though

no like i'm still thinking about if you didn't want to join the gym and you wanted to do a spa day yeah yeah yeah right um but i must tell you guys it's very exciting and you are all going to really love it because we don't have to now get in the car and go to grantley hall for that experience right well that's a that is a good thing but then i would be a bit like even though grantley hall isn't that far away i'd be a bit like do i want to drive to knutsford for a night away do you know what i mean and then spend because then you think wait till you see it will you i was like how has this been so near me and i'm not even like what and when's it open in july so yeah you basically yeah it's guys get excited for it will you go will it start you at

the gym will it make you feel like you want to go to gym do you think no no it's not that expensive not that good there'll be loads of rich men there well I was thinking when you were saying that about the rooms being stunning

I got this vision of all the like really wealthy families when they've had a fallout of the husband going staying there do you remember when me and Ed

split up and I went and lived in the bit for two weeks you did go yeah because I remember you went through a wild patch was it then

and then I was in Hotel Gotham Gotham is where I can really clearly remember you and Amy being in Gotham and you sending me

a picture I can just remember you know this odd moments that you think why is that i'll post this picture on patreon and it's a picture in the mirror and you're really thin yeah and i don't think i've eaten you were really thin and you're like not arsed anyway and a picture and like got me into gotham not arsed and i remember thinking oh oh no she's gonna have a wild night yeah yeah i remember that i do remember that um right sorry i had to update you on that basically what else have you got going anything with the mice

Right, the mice, we caught another one the other day. Right. Lola let it out. Right. But I've stopped driving to the farm to let them out now. I'm just putting them in the back garden. And they're just coming back in now. They're just coming back in.

No, but we've only caught one. Right. Do you think it's the same offender? You need to, like, spray a little bit of blue on its fur. Oh, my God, yeah. Like they do with sheep. Or, like, mark it in some way with a little poke. Do its nails.

No, Alex, we don't kill them. No, we don't. We do all of this really humanely. Humanely. so the mice thing is ongoing i've got so many builders in my house my bathroom is running over a little bit but it should be done by the end of this week and it's looking fucking gorgeous the baby's bedroom's nearly done i'm gonna show you all and it looks beautiful that mirror the mirror is lovely i've had a mirror put up i'll tag them on instagram the lounge down it's all got

to be done though in the next three weeks you want it done dad bed came through really the bed i'll send you a picture of the bed and where's this for top bedroom top bedroom what's the baby room theme i'm not gonna i'll tell you i'll show you pictures right okay you're gonna love it i don't want anyone to see it until it's done right okay i've had fitted furniture put in and everything i think that's a really good idea i do because it's a weird shape room because you have to house so the bed is gorgeous and i've had fitted lights and plugs do you know what these little touches so when we're renovating now it's really weird because you when you're doing from scratch you have to think about these things already so when when james said to me yesterday we need to think

about electrics i was like what the fuck it was like no you need to tell us now yeah where you want things and that's where you've got the chance here to make your life easier bedside lights bedside plugs plugs near the sofa you know things that are really annoying oh gorgeous yeah you can't really see it no it's like hotel isn't it but it's a hotel bed and it's got the love that to sit you up and down no no to store things underneath it oh you've got an electric ottoman yeah no and because it's super king beds i can't lift them up and you know like if i'm on my own and i need to get something out of it i can't yeah i've always had a super king pull-up and actually this morning i literally made the noise it hurts your back when i put on all our shoes i

think it's a great place for shoes so basically i took saskia as well this week because it's been half term to her first orthodontist appointment okay yes but she's only seven seven right i agree crazy did not know about this so i saskia has got massive teeth like me her dad's got big teeth as well and i have had to have three braces yeah you've had to have a brace i had full train tracks then i had full train tracks again then i had invisalign so i've had bracelets three times so it is usually hereditary but basically now they say that you and this is all advice often orthodontists they say that you should have a golden window between age six and eight right where they can expand their palate so that their teeth have more room so

they don't get the overcrowding to come down so she has got overcrowding now come like you can see like the teeth are like crowded that are coming through and also she's seven and she's only lost three teeth which isn't that many but it's because the teeth are really struggling to come down then there's no space like yeah so she's having some orthodontic treatment i'm taking her to be clear orthodontics but this is just a note for mums obviously it's another pressure totally up to you it's all private but go and get some advice off them i know they do consultations if you're not sure just go and get some advice because yeah i thought that's wild but like what the amazing orthodontist was telling me she said the thing is this palate expander basically it's

just attached to two teeth and every day i put a screw in it's not screwed into a mouth or anything oh it's like a piece of metal that goes across the top of a mouth attached onto two teeth and every day i expand it a tiny bit so it gives the mouth more space i think the thing is straight away you think the usual seven orthodontist are you taking them in america that's what in america is standard but what actually you're saying here is this could cause them less issues further down the line teeth removed because that's horrific i've had that done for my place i had to have too and it was so traumatic usually orthodontic treatment doesn't begin until it's too late well i thought that you did orthodontic treatment when all i genuinely all your me too and then we look

at the situation yeah no no no so that's interesting really interesting so basically once your teeth are all through that's when then they start pulling teeth out to make the face the dentist no if you start the palette expander now and the invisaligns it might not be necessary exactly i wonder when you know when you would like no because thea's so she's six i guess it depends on how like do they know because thea's lost loads of teeth now and she's got one front tooth coming back and the second one is starting to come back her bottoms are all through bottom new teeth at what point do you know whether they're going to need an expander because hers are crowded so like one is here one is here so on her back teeth like that right so they're forward back so they're

struggling to find space i think it's gonna have little teeth one is popping through at the top yeah we've noticed one um with a teenager he's that something's coming up here something's coming up here we can see something white and we were like is your tooth coming up there yeah so is that because there's no space so it's like overcrowded and he's got big teeth so this would make sense i've got little teeth so i think fear's and they do like spider-man braces like frozen braces so it's and also do you know she's so excited for well this is the thing i was thinking at that age you want to be different you want a crutch you want the crutches like i want the crutches you want the pot do you remember getting a pot at school and i love the pot so

everyone can sign it you want attention you want it's not called a pot lauren it is called a pot what's it called when you have something on your arm it's a pot when you break your arm and you have to have a cast a cast we call it a pot where i'm from um it's a cast in the rest of the country okay well you want a wheelchair you want a wheelchair cast you want um you do you want glasses you want a brace you want all that at that age i would be like no same you want the whole lot like you want a squint you want the crutches you do because you get attention so actually now is a good age when you don't give a shit whereas when you're like 13 14 you don't want that anymore you don't want to look any different to anyone else at this point you want

to blend into a wall because you everything's going on so it actually makes sense that while she's buzzing do it now so yes my seven-year-old is getting a brace really good i think that's actually really interesting i think that's really i don't think they is going to have this issue um but i need to see when they start coming through what's going on because i think i've got quite small you would know i know she's not yeah because you'd look and think um yeah um no she's not i don't think we've got that issue yet but we've got four when i posted it i had so many messages off mom's like i think i need this i was like just go for the free consultation it's expensive but again you nowadays according to um james because he was looking for the eldest

you have to pay for braces now anyway whereas when we were young and the wait list begins at three years or something when we were younger it was free it was on the nhs whereas now i think you do have to pay so if you're going to have to pay at some point you could potentially pay less by doing it earlier i think i think don't quote me but it's that free if they're a certain age as well right girls ladies with teenagers or young kids worth be clear orthodontics now as always we will be releasing our main episode every wednesday plus our exclusive bonus on patreon on a friday that also applies for apple subs however you can now watch full episodes on youtube make sure that you hit the subscribe button and you'll just get a little reminder

every time we post a new video on there youtube really is where it's happening you are sat in bed hungover what you're gonna do you're gonna watch nip tuck pod duh have a look at our gorgeous faces why not so head over to our socials at nip tuck pod you can find all of our links including how sign up to patreon so speaking of guys can we just caveat by the way there's some kind of building work going on lucas is gonna fiddle with this but we're just gonna carry on we've got a specific slot so we're just gonna yap but we're really sorry if there's any banging it's not me banging my head against the wall so um speaking of kids tommy's been in hospital what the fuck how right do you not think it's wild because when we record the pod obviously we do it every week

how much can happen in a week yeah when we last spoke everything was fine i just got back off holiday tom you've been great and all the la la la within that week i've been in hospital with him like what the hell so when wednesday night so after the record he was really unsettled but he is didn't think much of it a bit warm but it was bloody boiling he's he's so cute but he's getting cute he's gorgeous he's actually really pretty but i would think that on thursday is he gonna be a mogul i think he could i think he could once he's got a skin condition i think i think he could be a mogul i think he should i think he could be a mogul um but we all think that don't we about our kids so oh my god anyone that works at a kid's modeling agency please can you tell us

some funny stories um so or a model agency in general yeah i bet there's some funny ones but anyway it's happening it's like me with rochelle's next top model i honestly thought i made it like i fully thought i made it so on me bless him so on thursday my niece was looking after him and i was in and out the house so she was at home with him and i was doing bits and bobs i was working i was here that never um and he was all right she took him to this play place and then she texted me like he's not eating his dinner like something's a bit off so i was literally on the phone to my mom when i was driving up to my house i was like oh my god i've got so much to do i've still got jade for a couple of hours i'm gonna work for two hours don't know how i'm gonna fit it all in blah

blah ha ha ha thinking that i was gonna get all this stuff done i was like i've got to get it done today pulled on my drive went in the house and she was like he's not all right picked him up he was boiling and he was shaking she was like do you think he's shaking and it happened really quickly like really really quickly she'd not sat on that all day like it happened fast i believe you she was like he's he's shaking so picked him up and he was going like this his mouth was trembling his arms were trembling and i fucking panicked and i'm not really a panicker but you went straight to hospital i'm not really a panicker james taxed me um but i said to jade ring 111 now so obviously that's her nest like well james at home no it was miles away no good to me and when

he'd finished work he had all the kids to pick up so he was absolutely no fucking use to me um so i'm like ring 111 thea was off school so thea was there i'm like ring 111 and obviously it's her cousin is he a cousin so she was like really panicking about it as well round one they were like what's he doing blah blah then he had this like rash um and it didn't look like any other rash so then i'm thinking meningitis so she's there i know but at the minute you have so she's there with a glass we're trying to press the glass on him trying to lift his neck she's like is he going around one one one they were like um is he conscious of course yes oh that's fine but i said he was shaking he's really shaking he kept going like that and it was awful

anyway they said we can send an ambulance i didn't think he needed an ambulance really but we can send one but it'll take 50 minutes i was like i'm not sitting here with him for 50 minutes i'll get straight to a knee rang my mom mom come and get thea and then i realized i didn't want to drive in the car on my own with him in the back and i couldn't watch him put him in the front yeah so i well i said i got my mom to drop me off with thea thea sat in the back and she was going mom he's going to sleep and i was like what do you mean going to sleep as in he's tired or as in he's passed out she was like i think he's tired oh it was so stressful anyway got there and they were really good to be fair they saw they are really straight away when they checked him his

temp was 40 yeah so scary and his heart rate was really really high he was bright red and he had this eczema well i was like he's got eczema anyway they checked his throat said it was really red basically long story short i was there for about four or five hours um and they kept just checking his temp would come down which it did and they said it's viral that's the answer to the most of things can't help you it's viral so they said he's got something viral what has happened is because his temp has spiked i need a wee because his temper spikes so much his body's way of cooling himself down is shaking and shivering it's quite normal their arms up yeah he kept going yeah she said it's quite normal with a temperature that high so off we go go home he's got a viral

thing he wouldn't eat he wouldn't drink he would drink for a minute and then like after a second he'd go as if it was hurting him oh it was so hard and then I just got this weird feeling I was like to James I think he's got hand foot and mouth and he's like why I went I don't know did Thea never have that no your kids aren't nursery kids Thea had nothing nothing that girl I can count on two times I remember being ill as a kid all of mine have had half a hammer she had nothing half a hammer um so I just had this feeling I was like I've got a feeling he's got a hand foot and mouth and she he was like how do you know that i went i don't know i've just got a feeling next morning we wake up and he is covered covered in this awful not just rash scabs red red awful angry it was on his

hands and feet so then i realized he got hand foot and mouth now a little bit of educational piece for you guys especially any ex my mums so hand foot and mouth obviously is hand foot and mouth and it's a viral thing and it can go but he developed a condition now i only know this because i put a picture of him on insta and a girl replied and she was like he's got this thing and it's called eczema and it starts with a c coccyx something something and what it is it's where the hand foot and mouth virus gets into the eczema so they don't just have hand foot and mouth it attacks their eczema area and it makes their eczema have hand foot mouth everywhere mad mad but really need to say this for important because there is another type that's a herpes type

and it's a very similar look but it's urgent care immediately herpes virus within the skin and it's actually like that is meningitis it's like yeah it's like hospital now yeah so i kept checking something with seizures it's incredibly dangerous so if your child has hand foot mouth or anything like that just take them and get them looked at again how is he now lauren fine so he was ill for couple of days a few sleepless nights and they just come around no but then also the scary thing with babies up and down they can i remember the doctor saying to me they can go up and you're like what the fuck and then the next minute they go down but he's been all right or creepy like if you hear them ever barking like a seal yeah and little newborn babies yeah snouty snout it means

they're struggling straight to hospital and also always check and this is something i've learned with him having the rsv in january check the chest and check underneath the ribs if they are if the bit between what's it called here like where your adam's apple is thorax if that is sucking in when they're breathing or their stomach where their ribs are sucking in it means they're struggling to breathe and you've got to that is like something i'll learn when i when i took him it's urgent that there's a page on instagram called tiny hearts education yes i follow that really good fan fantastic yeah yeah so he's fine now he's all good he's covered in a rash still but he's all right i'm sorry guys i'm gonna have to wait i don't know why anyway um i need to make

an apology another public apology what have you done now i don't know if any of the mum listens to the pod but if you did i'm really sorry and i didn't mean it towards your child um so basically we went to the park on don't know what day with all the kids and there's this um slide that's in like a tube you know like like the tube you can't see yeah and the eldest three god i can't even remember how many there is now we're at the top four i don't know but they were at the four we're at the top um and they were going to come down and they wanted me to film them now is there anything more annoying than having to film them coming out of a slide and then they re-watch it on your phone with the sausage fingers again and they start getting shit all over you yeah and then they

want to slow it down yeah and they want to speed it up and you're like just get off my phone yeah and then they're like film me film me again don't let me do it again and i'm so i'm stood there fucking part anyway they're all at the top and i was like right i'm filming and it was taking ages so i'm at the bottom of the the opening if you will tell them to fuck off with my phone i mean i must have footage for like minutes long of just me at the bottom and they were you know i was getting annoyed but we do talk to each other in a jokey way anyway so i put my head i could hear one of them coming down but also they weren't sliding down they were bang banging down and i but this isn't a good video anyway.

Yeah. So I put my head up and I went, hurry up, what are you doing, you little freak? It wasn't your kid. Mm-mm. Oh. Mm-mm. And like a second later, I went,

hurry up, what are you doing, you little freak? And a second later, this little boy... That's really bad. Emerges, glasses on. Oh, don't, you bitch. No, but I didn't know it was him. And he emerges. I was like, hurry up, you freak.

and he emerged just like and he looked at me and i was like so sorry and then i looked across the side because i said it loud and there was this mum just looking at me and i was like wrong kid and she just looked at me like why would you call your kid a little freak anyway yeah but i do because they are little freaks um so if you were listening i did not shout that at your mum if anyone saw me at the park shouting like little freak at a little boy it was not it was aimed at my little freaks and they are that right guys let's go into a break now and then we're going to come back with some more bits and bobbins welcome back everyone so lauren passport rule right just a quick one very quick there's a video that's gone viral a load of you sent it me

you might have seen it if your passport looks like it's in date for like another six months and you're like sweet or a year cool no on the passport it says the date of expiry just before that it says the date of issue if your date of issue is more than 10 years ago you still can't fly so this girl did a viral video she's gone she's looked at a new thing i don't think so i don't know but i've only just found out so she's gone to fly her passport says it expires like say february 27 so she's sweet she's looked at her ex good she's got there but because her actual issue date was more than 10 years to the day they wouldn't let her get on the flight so why do they have the expiry is that date then that's their own fuck up so what so i checked james's because

james is about to run out but we've got long enough to need to do it just yet so i was like shit checked his it's a bit weird because normally the date of issue happens and then literally a week later you've got your passport so it's something like maybe it was issued and there was a big delay in it or something like yeah and the actual times yeah and it was like maybe two months delay i don't know so check your date of issue if you're teetering check that it's not more what we are now if it's before june 2016 you fucked it you need to get a new one don't make the mistake of getting that and it's your problem your fault so you won't get any money back they're so strict on how your passport looks as well yes oh my god how much have we had in patreon

how many passport gates have we had in patreon any tears any like fake tan marks any makeup marks if you can't damage you just don't even chance it don't chance it you've lost your holiday like there is nothing worse than losing your holiday i saw you've got quite a lovely passport holder do they always make you take it out yeah yeah so not even allowed do you know when i went to paris they did my fingerprints and that really freaked me out america do that as well don't they weird I always have a problem with that. Apparently, I've got weird fingers. Apparently, like my minor...

You've had them up too many bottoms. Could be that. Didn't think about that. But they never register. Really? And they always get a bit shifty. Do you know what that means? You could commit crimes and they wouldn't find you.

You could shoplift and they wouldn't find you. Now, from passports to rib removal. So it's not actually called rib removal. It's called rib remodeling. Because they make it sound a little less... Yeah. Rib remodeling. it's the new bbl okay alfredo hoyos yeah was doing this a while ago in america um and it's big now

people are talking about it rib remodeling what is it it's meant to be horrendously painful and they go in through your back keyhole surgery so you're not having massive scars most of the time they'll break your ribs and then reposition them so it's usually the three bottom ribs so that your waist is smaller so they break your ribs having a broken rib is meant to be really one it's meant to be excruciating yeah and in korea i've seen that some of the places put you in an actual cast yeah so it's like um like a pot a pot yeah a pot um but i know someone that's had it done and they said it was horrendously painful but the thing is guys don't forget like your ribs are there for if you were involved in a car accident they protect your organs they protect

your organs so my thoughts on it like my initial thought was this is just ridiculous this is too far this is stupid this is messing with whatever whatever but then i kind of thought who am i to say what's too far do you know what i mean like straight away i was like too far too far and then i thought like they do fucking leg lengthening they do and then i thought do you know what we're having like our face skin pulled off and chopped and lifted up who is to say what is i've had the skin on my eyelids cut off who's to say what's too far but just something about that oh i get it and actually the problem i've got a very flared rib so my rib cage here is really flared which means it's kind of wide and that's from babies a lot of the time and i always have um so i don't

have that little waste anywhere so mine would for every single one would need breaking for one um but actually there is something you can do that's just reminded me so after you've had a baby um and also just in general your ribs expand for the baby and then when they go back they don't always go back 100 my physio when i went for a mummy mot straight after the baby told me one thing you can do to pull your ribs back in and everything back in is a certain type of breathing and i can't remember the name of it but basically you do this until you've run out of breath like i can't be arsed and then you hold it hold it and then let go and it's a type of physio and it genuinely works after you've had children to get your ribs to go back to where they once were

be whacking my macom garments on did you see the new one they've sent me no with the padding already inside oh nice like that makes life a lot easier a lot a lot easier sorry rib remodeling guys has anyone had it is anyone genuinely considering it do we know the cost of it i don't know the cost of it i watched a tiktok about a girl in new york that was going to have it done and she made it look really quite easy the point of it i guess is to have a smaller waist yeah that would be the point so i suppose what we what at one point it was moving fat to your hips to make your waist look smaller um so instead we're making the waist actually being smaller yeah but we know someone else that allegedly has had rib removal removal yeah marilyn manson so he

could nosh himself i don't think that's true at school i remember the rumor the rumor i don't think it's true i think he did it because if you look at a lot of his like album covers and that where he's got like you know can we fact check it yeah just um just quickly as well is it called the hook leeing rib compression technique oh potentially yeah oh hang on say say the beginning bit hook leeing is it not is it not um hook l y ing so this has just reminded me another little thing around cosmetics and stuff like that that can affect your body forever so girls if you do exercise, maybe Pilates, anything involving, mainly Pilates, I've noticed it, like a pulling up, sit up, or pulling up type thing, right, I've done that for years, and I've always had a really

strong core, great, I, just before the baby, thought, my core's gone, like, this is before the baby, not after, in fact, I said it in the pod, I was like, I can't, my core has gone, so when you do those, like, people that do Pilates don't understand, Pilates 100, where you sit forward, and you do that, I couldn't do it, I couldn't get up, and I thought, my core is fucked, and I was fuming then i had the baby it got even worse i was at pilates fuming i was at pilates one thing i've got going for me is i had a good call went to pilates the other day and again i have to put something under my head and i cannot do like a little block yes i cannot do even a mini sit-up and it's been really annoying me anyway all of a sudden as i'm doing it i realized it was actually

my neck that wasn't working and it all made sense i have my entire full front of neck botoxed right to get rid of um like it helps to pull up and also the gale plat yeah so straight after i was actually with skin address you know what i mean i was with charlotte and i went in to see her and i was like this might be totally random and i might be talking absolute crap here but in pilates i can't do what like sharon next to me is 65 and she's doing it and i can't and she was like yeah do you not know about this apparently if you have the full front neck botox it causes problems when you're doing certain exercises because you physically can't deactivated it totally so when i'm trying to do a sit-up i can't sit up and she was saying yeah one of the

girls that comes here always says to her pilates instructor at the beginning i'm not lazy i've had neck botox at the front and i physically can't lift myself yeah i had track how interesting and um that really affected me how i didn't even think but when you're pulling up yeah like you can't so yeah girls think about it now if you have is it called platysma i think it's called platysma but at the front on nefertiti lift if you have that done just tell me have you noticed that in exercise you can't do the same let me know let me know speaking of pilates and whether or not you can lift your neck or not don't know how many people know this because we did put it on patreon didn't we we've booked you guys actually you've actually done the legwork on this

so my gorgeous friends own studio 34 pilates studio 34 pilates is basically the bougiest pilates that you can go to in cheshire and we we're gonna try two out we're gonna see how it goes but we booked you guys two pilates classes on patreon um so yeah the patreon girls are going to do pilates i've just put a five pound donation to women's refuge on there because commitment commitment if it was free spaces people might go so we're gonna see if people turn up if they enjoy it and if they do yeah we're not there we just thought like it's nice for you guys to go enjoy pilates for free pretty much five at a charity meet new friends do it for nip tuck because i can't lift my neck and she's pregnant and we just thought it's like giving

back to people a little bit go and have a nice pilates on us now steven bartlett oh is he pissing everyone off news by the time you listen but basically he said that he had like three glasses of wine and it ruined his life for days so this is all about like demonizing fun i think he should just stick to huel drinking it yeah yeah i i am lauren that was so lost on you sorry yeah sorry i um wow wow i'm tired basically he was like oh i heard a couple of guys right but like then i saw his tiktok of this guy it was fucking hilarious what he was saying back he was like oh shit ruined your life for days what did you lose all your billions of pounds yeah did you what did you do like what happened let me tell you let me tell you if we're having a

competition here i will tell you how you can ruin your life after a couple of glasses of wine yeah because i have ruined the slot machines yeah because i have ruined my life after a couple of wines and i think it's on a different scale steven to what you did i think so so what i did was right and i'm gonna dash through these and i just want to see your reaction basically it's all around demonizing fun which is absolutely huge at the minute so what is that i think that there is such there's a movement now and there's messy girl and clean girl okay i would say i'm messy girl what are you i used to be messy i'm leaning over to clean okay fine so whatever you pick absolutely fine but then there's the fun demonizers yeah we don't we don't like that i want you to have fun

it's just sad i can't so it's like demonizing fun in a way of like uh there's that one tiktok that's gone viral of that girl and she's like if you're not showering when you get home from the club what are you doing and everyone's like yeah fucking gear eating crisps getting a cheesy chips and a pizza burning a pizza and falling asleep passing out with my shoes on shitting myself yeah like something like what else would you be texting my ex and ringing him for a booty call putting something on his face putting something weird on instagram that i'm gonna regret in the morning that's what i'm doing because you've got to find the clip of this girl's if you're not showering when you get home from the club who is showering when they get home

from the club now everyone's got on the back of like demonizing fun pick me behavior if you don't know what pygmy behavior is google it so i said guys what is your biggest trigger yeah we have had like 70 responses oh people are angry i'm gonna dash through them okay any chat gpt trend yes yeah spend a morning with me and they're getting out of bed on the video that's so stupid because you've already said videos eating on videos pretending that they're running late whilst doing a get ready with me video i do that all the time um yawn and stretch when they get out bed on camera talking to your younger self yeah i'm just a girl not knowing the name of a brand that they're talking about like oh i can't remember where this is from oh i do that but i

usually can't this is such this is when someone has their first baby and it's an overhaul of their whole entire life and personality being a new mummy i do men posting on socials especially created dumps go to work yeah stupid facial expressions and hand gestures that influencers do yeah i do those people who cry for attention mums who celebrate babies six month birthdays people who post a thousand pictures of their kids on their instagram story every day people describing anything as wholesome um pictures of their child being poorly or crying oh no i don't like the crying the crying and the really ill in hospital not the one so if you want to say they're there don't take a picture of them pictures in hospitals um and sober people that are

obsessed with being sober yeah i agree with that um when there is 25 comments on a pic asking where this is from and it's tagged use your eyes please yeah um tapping on products when doing a get ready yeah um flexing on how much money they have in a really tacky way and showing off when influencers make you comment for a link i do that um sorry when someone jumps on a heavily political topic and becomes an expert overnight checking in at hospital men posting a story of a cocktail in an aesthetic way oh yeah alex i bet you do that many male photo dumps should not exist people acting up for tiktoks and pretending to be stupid influencers pretending they're doing a q a box on instagram however it's to advertise stuff a lot of

this is influencer bait people hate the influencers there you go a lot of demonizing fun i i agree that like we've said this before if you're sober you're sober great let's not make people let's not then look down our noses the reason that i am more clean girl now is is literally just because i've got a baby and i haven't got time would but when i see someone who's messy and they fucking got pissed i'm like go for it i wish that was me tell me your stories lauren read that meme out from the other day that we found yeah so right actually you sent this into our group chat and it resonated with both of us as like the kind of mums we want to be i think when i was 17 i called my mum at 1 47 in the morning from a party that i was not supposed to be at with people that she

did not know after i told her i was sleeping at sarah's i just said i need a ride she said i'll be there no questions not then not on the drive home not ever i thought she was angry she wasn't angry she got there in 12 minutes which means she left immediately which means she got in the car in whatever she'd been sleeping in and she drove across town at 2am to get me from a party she didn't know existed with people she didn't know i was with she pulled up in the green honda i got him she looked at me once she pulled out of the driveway the drive home was quiet not tens just quiet i kept waiting for the question where were you who were these people why did you lie to me it never came she turned on the radio and we drove like she's always drove when we got home she

unlock the door. She said, drink some water before you go to bed. And she went to her room. That was it. That was the whole thing. I lay there waiting for the morning, waiting for the fight. The morning came, she made eggs. She asked what I wanted to do that day. I think about what she knew that I didn't. She knew I'd called. That was a thing. I was somewhere I shouldn't have been and I'd called her. That was all she wanted and needed. The rest didn't matter. She was not going to punish the phone call. I have a teenager now and I told her one thing more than anything else. I will always. this is a podcast studio like it's a fucking joke no that's not my thing i nearly cried am i all right yeah i'm fine read it finish do you want me to finish it what the fuck sorry i've told her

one thing more than anything else i will all am i all right i will always come and get you no questions no matter where you are no matter what you told me call me and i'll come so the main point of this is the kind of mom that you want to be and i no judgment no judgment and i absolutely champion that because you want to be the mom that gets the phone call to pick everyone point where the kids are in trouble like and it's too late yeah literally but so it's just so hard getting that balance yes things like between them taking the piss even like she's only seven and i'm like i want her to tell me everything when certain things she says i'm like you can't react gonna gonna you can't so this is the thing that i've learned from from i'm trying to do this with

thea so i want to be a place where she comes home and she says to me my boyfriend's asked me to do this my boyfriend said that i should do that i want to be there to say to her how do you manage i want to be there to say to her right okay how do you feel about it like i don't ever want me and my mum are really really close one thing that we would never discuss was like anything to do with sex or anything like that and not that i want to sit and chat with her but i want to be there for her to speak to me about these things i wanted to say to me my friend's been smoking weed so i can say it's all right and what are your thoughts and like what are your thoughts on is it something no not as an adult not as a teenager um i had it all so i want to be that person so the way that

i've started with it is like i will be really nonchalant even when inside i'm raging so i'm like any goss at school today and she's like such and such wanted to hold my hand and instead of saying you're too young for that which is what i want to say i've got a boyfriend no you haven't you're seven this is disgusting instead i just go oh my god cool and then in my head i'm like but if i start now saying things to her like you're well too young for that's ridiculous that is ridiculous thea they will do what they're doing anyway and they just won't tell me and i want to know your thoughts on that guys because it is a fine line it's a wider conversation right what did we buy this week we're gonna keep this snappy because i've got one dilemma that i really want

to do guys right now i'll run through go on sorry you go first love trafford center vip car park now has you know those little cars that the kids fucking love you sent me a picture in them and i just wow yeah well mine only go like they that's their favorite day out is going to traffic and sitting in that car and i can get hours of walking around so if you saw me the other day at the traffic center on my own with the twins in there there you go um and basically last you used to have to walk from the car park to the john lewis side to get one of those cars now that is for in the vip car park get yourself there get yourself get your car washed at the same time while i was at the trafford center i had a gooey donut never heard of it wow selfridges what the fuck it was

a vanilla custard donut sensational curelle moisturizing spray the japanese brand right seen it k beauty something and it's a spray ceramide moisturizer stunning sprays are so easy spray aerosol like stunning direct council's book is out duh it's downloaded and i'm gonna start today palmer's body gloss is back we used to use that years ago jayani jayani i've posted that the the day follow jr knee on instagram jr knee and she does our makeup when we're in london she's vicky patterson's makeup artist actually amazing girl she's amazing lovely girl great recommendations and yet palmer's body glass girls if you are going on holiday and you want to look hot it's glossy glossy high gloss the maybe sora t-shirt so i'm speaking at event in london tomorrow i feel like

this tracksuit is gonna carry me pre post everything it's the maybe stuff this i know you don't have much you have any of it i've got brown the brown leather trousers which are gorgeous the quality is fucking gorgeous but the sora tracksuit is just so wearable have a look at it um heated ice cream scoop off amazon mum's wow what a good idea what it's like when you go to a restaurant and all-inclusive you would have done that where you queue up and you put you have to do it yourself but then a hot thing with hot water no it's off amazon you press a button on it and it he wow hello yes the najeel baby carrier next week is or the week after i'm gonna do my full baby run through so i'll speak to you a bit more about it but fuck me it's good yeah um i got

a star sign t-shirt from rick so i you would love it so it comes in every star sign and it's a t-shirt and it's such a cool t-shirt okay and if you're like on holiday with a pair of denim shorts or denim jeans the quality of the t-shirts proper like vintage rick so okay i'll have a look um also hair gain peptide dry shampoo puff oh okay you you mean 11 pounds it's dry shampoo doing a puff puff thing puff puff puff puff so you puff it on your hair yeah and it gives you volume and it's got peptides in it and it's an oil absorber i am about to try one i can't remember the brand oh uh i get done for that on those list um it's got hair fibers in it i'll let you know anyway but yeah hair game peptide i'll try okay i reordered the l'oreal for faux brow because

it's brilliant it's very dark i've gone too dark um go light clear i need to go a little bit lighter um okay then when i posted it one of the girls that always has good recos that um listens to the pod told me about something called brow aid which i've ordered it hasn't arrived yet and it's got little fibers in as well as the laminate so it gives you that thickness if you're not hairy girl like me i'll let you know what i think um i was sent this i didn't buy this but i'm going to tell you it's really nice medicaid exo pdrn prismatic that was on my list last week oh my god totally didn't realize that sorry but i've been trying it this week and i hadn't before oh nice 151 billion exosomes it says i don't know feels nice on the skin then i got some epsom salts

you got me into thinking about this everyone if you are a puffy galley you got me onto this and i got them from elixir garden supplies did you get a massive massive one not cheap but from chat gpt and google told me that it's the purest one in the uk you can get send me the link i need elixir garden sample dinner garden's dinner it's a garden shop I reordered pots for tots

love it loved it there's that other brand as well Luna and Wild they're on a cardo now right I got the M&S four ingredient burger

stunning no? I don't like why? it tastes like peppers I didn't like them very peppery just thought I'd tell you

love M&S love M&S don't like them I like the four ingredient meatballs though maybe they're better but none of us did none of us like them so yeah

I just wanted to tell you that I got Thea from Next some kids slippers that are like the Ugg slippers you know just the slide in with the fur and they're really nice

because we've got dust everywhere at the minute we all need slippers gorgeous gorgeous and that's all I bought this week really because I've spent enough money on those stupid

windows and doors and shit have you got underfloor heating yeah is that so that you don't have radiators or do you still have radiators I still have radiators

I can't get my head around this heating shit now before we end dilemma he turned the cctv off while i was away for the past five days i've been asking all week turn the cctv back on and he's telling me we can't i come back the picture of us in his office is gone and he has a pink phone charger in the office i'm like on cctv mode instantly because

i know if i can turn it back on i can re-get the data for the past week he will not let me near the cctv unit he has changed the passwords help so she said it's hick connect if anyone has any info on helping me to reconnect to it well i don't think you need to i think it's quite clear what's happened here i've got you need the cctv babe it's quite clear he's turned it off he's took your picture off the office he's got a pink charger you already know what he's doing lucas we got an update on it i think i sent you a message he actually sent like she said like we've got an update oh yeah prozzy so since she sent this she sent us an update yeah she found out she got in prozzy oh wait so oh wait that's expensive i hope she's doing the washing while

she was there no boy it's expensive like if you're gonna use it for the week prostitutes are expensive in 2026 um so i've got a story about this so i was working away and we had cctv me and an ex and we had cameras actually inside the house as well like in certain hallways and i was away with work and i got home and this was before like you could get apps on your phone and stuff so i didn't know what was going on by the way can i just say i think that is a bit intense when people check the cctv apps on the phone i think it's a lot but that's a separate conversation got home pictures of us that were on the fridge all gone my shoes that i would usually leave out by the door put away um the beds had been changed which he would never ever have usually

done and my sister was like you know what we do we go and check the bins so off we go outside and there was plastic cups with lipstick around them plastic and the pictures of us had been ripped up and we're in the bin so i rang the security team team and i was like guys i need the cctv from the last week and they were like oh one sec and then they must have rang him and then he rang me and he was like you're fucking mental why are you getting the cctv oh my god um and then they were like yeah it's it's been broken or whatever and i found out he had had like three girls there while i was away and had a threesome in my bed oh no one changed the sheets must be a messy one thanks lauren thank you lots of body one of the girls so i had um oh yeah i

had that um that glitter wallpaper that was like dead dead yeah that was that glitter wallpaper back in the day this must have been literally 16 years yeah that thick glitter wallpaper it was like a thick glitter wallpaper i was so jealous of anyone yeah and i had it in my dressing room and i had like a glam station everything it was just gorgeous and one of the girls that i so basically he'd been to revolution and it was back in the day where you know like scintillate would take pictures yeah yeah oh there's nothing they would catch you out the next day on facebook you're going through like and everyone's eyes and there's people in the background snogging and you're like there you go anyway so i like i went on the scintillate pictures or what was it

the other one was called something and you could get key rings like what happened last night or something and um he i figured out the girls because one of the girls had changed her facebook picture to a picture of her stood in front of my glitter wall i found a boyfriend cheating like that he told me he told me he'd gone to bed and he's like i've gone to sleep now babe night night hung up the phone and then the next day i remember being in the meyer office i can remember it clear his day it was facebook days and i was like scrolling through some girl that had a funny suspicion about i'd put pictures up that night um like scroll of and it was his background so he hadn't gone to sleep they'd all had a party at his like what also the cover-up game is weak

because put your pictures back on the fridge get the bins properly taken out and put the shoes back but no it was the way that when he rang me he was like why would i ever do that like no and then i and then i rang the girl and then i found everything did someone not steal a watch or yeah well then later on it luckily because basically he was playing in the world cup by the way you guys don't even start delving on this because it's no one exciting he was playing in the world cup and um while he was away the house got broken into a couple of times while i was there on my own because obviously like they know he was away and um yeah so we had cctv installed inside and in the end when we split up lauren i think sent it me and he'd caught two

Two girls robbing his watches because I'd had the cameras installed and it was like in the MEN and everything. Yeah, they'd stole it. It was in all the papers. Two girls he'd invited back for a party and they'd robbed him. But yeah, by the way, guys, this isn't a footballer anyone I would ever, we would never know. No, you wouldn't.

It's no one exciting. Literally no one exciting. And that's why I would never go out with a footballer again. Karma's real. Karma is real. Yeah. Karma is a bitch. All right.

Well, we've yapped on. Follow us at NipTuckCard. if you need more this week and you want more this week Friday, Patreon or Apple Sub you've got another episode coming out leave us a 5 star review love you, bye guys