Nip Tuck - Get to know Lauren!

Episode Date: October 30, 2024

Unfortunately Ashley couldn't record this week's episode, but she will be back next week!So this week Lauren's flying solo so this episode is everything you wanted to know about our Loz - what did she do before the podcast, why it started and even more crazy stories! And guys the chat gets even deeper on our BONUS episode which will be out this Friday, available on Patreon and Apple Subscription (you won't want to miss that one) As it's Halloween we also read some of your dating horror stories. Sign up to our patreon - patreon.com/niptuckpod Email us [e-mail] Follow us on Instagram and TikTok - @niptuckpodMusic courtesy of BMG Production Music. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

guys hello and welcome to nip talk not giving a christine you're gonna have to do it fuck right guys i'm really sorry here's a trigger warning if lisps trigger you you're gonna hear a lot of it for the next hour because sadly it is just me today guys so well christine is here but we know you don't like it when she speaks yeah i've been told yeah you can speak a bit i'll put my hand up right guys ashley isn't here today so really sorry to say that she has had a bereavement with someone that's really close to her so um it's not appropriate for her to film today and you know we always want to bring the vibes where possible and she's not vibey right now so she'll be here next week um but yeah we want to be honest with you and this week she's taking a little break and

we're thinking of her everyone involved and we just wish her loads and loads of love so we didn't want you to miss out on an episode because we know that Wednesday is your day that you get in the car you listen to us talk shit so we didn't want to miss it out for you so it is just me I'm gonna try my very best we're gonna keep the format as much as possible we're still bringing you the episode just a little bit different so the thing is with this podcast is it is totally real like this is our real lives shit happens stuff does happen and we try and bring it to you every single week and we try and bring as we say the vibes every week however things happen in life so it's just me and there may be a time when it's just ashley so we're going to do a format where

we still do our favorite bits our dilemmas our stories we're still going to give you all that but we're also going to do a little bit of a get to know lauren so if you feel like you already know tune out now um but if you want to know a little bit more if you're a new listener i feel like we've got a lot of new listeners at the minute so it's always good to kind of find out a little bit more. You might listen to episodes and think, well, what does that reference to? So we're going to do a little get to know me. Christina's going to help me a little bit with it. Um, and then we're going to try our best guys, but Ashley will be back next week. So don't, don't leave us just yet. Okay. Right. First of all, guys, I'm going to be completely honest with you. We want to keep

it happy and motivated, but it is real. I've had a real funky week. Do you know where I don't know it's the weather change and it's like you wake up and it's just started to get dark now hasn't it when you wake up and it's just getting to that winter time and i actually like winter i love winter i do i love this time of year yeah i love the weekend was so nice because it was warm it was yeah and you can i like the the fashion of winter much more let's cover our lumpy bits up like i do prefer it and you know what you're gonna get as well the weather's shit and you need jeans coat etc so i feel like styling yourself is much easier as well but it does come with that dark bloody morning and i feel like now it's just hit um and recently i've been like getting up in the

morning and you know when you wake up and you just think oh here we go again and it's weird because there's nothing going wrong life is great all is good but it's that funky feeling and you've had it as well i had it as well there must be a way to get out of it like because we can't be the only ones who feel like this right now so like what are your what would you say your tips because i know it's easier than doing like oh just get it off to a countdown and get up but what no seriously that because as soon as i'm up you better yeah yeah i unfortunately the reason that i get up is because i fucking have to so like it's not really that i count down or i give myself it's the fact of i've got a child and a lot of us have i've got a job i have to get up if i didn't have to get up

this morning i would have scrolled on my phone for a good hour until i acclimatized to life again um but this morning i had to get up got myself up and i did feel much better one thing i do think helps now don't do it if you think it's ridiculous but music in your car so your best songs your favorite songs i had on today which made me laugh because it's not sunny do you remember that song called let the sun shine by labyrinth let the sun shine let the sun shine you're thinking of and it's a really old one but it gives me like memories so if you've got like memories of good songs put them on because i do think music totally changes your mood like if i want to cry i put um louis capaldi on and i feel yeah right but get your good songs on and again don't roll

your eyes because i'm an eye roller at this positive affirmations good so what do you mean right so this morning when i was driving i think sometimes it's really difficult because we know that the position we're in is so much better than so many other people like for god's sake there are people like in war zones like why am i feeling like this but you can't help it it's all circumstantial and you feel how you feel and that's fine so what I do is I do my positive affirmations so I am an honestly massive believer of affirmations and the universe and positivity I'm not saying I don't know if manifesting I don't know how I feel about that but I do think that if you say positive things if you think positive things and if you ignore any negative it naturally

has a knock-on effect and it can't do any wrong can it so just try it so this morning i drove to work and out loud this is no lie after i'd voice noted you saying that i was in a mood and i think i had depression after that um i started doing my affirmations so these were mine i am healthy yeah very how many people are not like that for me is number one i am healthy i am married i've got an amazing husband my children are healthy and one thing that i think is like when i think like that i'm healthy my children are healthy nothing else matters you know it really doesn't like and i think until you're in a position where you've had times when you haven't been healthy you know like when you've got a really bad cold and you think i'll never take for granted breathing

it's that kind of thing so i tell myself what are the good things about my life and i say them out loud and i like smile as i say them so i'm like i've got a gorgeous happy healthy little girl i've got a beautiful home i don't have particular we all have financial worries no matter how rich you are, you spend more. So everyone has a bit of a worry, don't they? But I'm in a really good position. I've got a lovely home. I can afford my home. I've got a good job. And I literally think of all those positive things. And then the other thing I do is I think of anything that's worrying me. So sometimes you've got like a funk and you're like, what the fuck is it? And sometimes it's nothing. Sometimes it's tiny little things. So then I think to myself, right, and do it while

you're in the car now. You might not be in a funk and I'm sorry if I've brought you down, but we all getting one at some point in the car now while you're listening think of the positives but then also think what's worrying me like is there anything that's actually bothering me and then actually think about that right so i fell out with someone someone pissed me off at work the other day that kind of thing um it's thinking about it and thinking right so what can i do about that now do you ever do that do you do so what i mine is at night like that's something will have happened in the day and i won't think about it in the day it won't be an issue and i'll just be like oh i'll just leave that till tomorrow whatever it is if it's it's normally to do with work but at night

late at night i'll get up in the middle of the night and i'll just be thinking oh my god i haven't done that that's not saved properly this isn't there yeah and i'll start and go in a real panic panic spiral ruminating and then i'm like oh that's being and when i get up i'm gonna sort it yeah and then i get up in the morning and i actually don't care about it anymore so i don't know what it is so i late at night that it panics you more phone notes are amazing yeah so what i do is I brain dump so I have because my life is so busy and hectic which we can talk about a little bit in a while it is it really is busy I have different notes right so I have a note section which is to do long term right and that is where I brain dump so for example my watch needs a service

like what the fuck is that what's worrying you no but like do you know what I mean I need to sort my home insurance right so these things right go on my long term to do when i can be arsed and it's a brain dump it takes it out of my brain honestly girls and boys if you feel like brain dump onto your phone i don't do it written down because i've not got fucking time and i'd lose the piece of paper or bin it with all the kids drawings which i've been as soon as they're not looking thea actually found one the other day and she was like mom i've just found in the bin and it was what i know i felt awful but i didn't want that shit in my house so yeah i brain jump onto my phone and i have a to-do list for long term and then i have a daily to-do list right and guys this

is please trust me i love organization and i think it really helps on your to-do list in the day when you wake up in the morning or add it as you need to have a to-do list that particular day not your long term realistically am i getting my watch service today no so it's on my long term and i know it's there and it's out of my brain onto the phone and then i have like a daily to-do list and it just makes things feel more manageable to me reply to that email sort this out do that and then i get rid of it and i have a new one the next day so grace beverly has something and i'm just gonna get it up to see what it's called because i had the i bought the diary of course you did um have you ever used it no no but they did she does it in a um a format that you can do online as well

so if you have yes so I wish I would have bought that because I have something called notion that if any of you like obviously just work on your laptop all day because you don't probably work on your laptop that much so yeah so I prefer to put stuff on my laptop and you can actually download this um what's it called I'm gonna look have a look what it is because it's actually really handy hold on this is it the productivity method so you can get it as a journal or you can download it um on i think on notion but i'll have to just look into that it's really good because what she does is basically that it's like your to-do list that you need to do that day the long-term stuff it's all into different sections and then someone told me

once as well what's really handy is to have like stuff that needs to be done today something that you'd like to do today okay something that you know that you'd like to do that week as well i think that's quite good i think it's just about um like i said brain dumping i honestly feel like so right now i have fear pretty much full time we have james's three children um it's pretty much 50 varies um i have the podcast i have obviously an agency for the instagram stuff i have other businesses that i'm working on and then i have a home to run um you know your usual the fucking dishwasher do you know just stuff like that and no I know what it could my car has got a light on it that kind of thing yeah and I just think if you can dump it onto somewhere and and because your

brain is so overstimulated I think nowadays our brains are so overstimulated and because our phones are always going off and everything goes to our phone if you can put it somewhere and then in the morning like you've just said you've got your to-do list you think right I need to get through this today cross cross cross cross and then you move it over to the next day and that is the only way that i can survive basically but that doesn't help with getting up in the morning so i have no advice on that other than you've got to get up bitch do you know what you do a lot and i do it as well which is bad is as soon as someone sends something you reply you reply and then it distracts you yeah so another another tip that i've had is um i think could have been from grace

beverly as well actually you can do like blocks of time so say if you're like for an hour i'm just going to do emails and that's it so it's like put your phone away put everything away close everything and for an hour i'm just focusing on this one task that for me you need to do that because i try and do 10 things at once if i get a message through i feel bad not replying immediately and i can't because i don't know my personality's like but then a half-arsed reply to everyone and then i can't keep up so yeah i agree focusing on what you've got to do one of the things i'm going to work on with my time management is this every especially if you work part-time or if you're um like me like i don't have a nine to five job almost it's even harder because every day you're

on your phone and you're working but there's no set start work finish work so it all gets a bit blurry and you might not do anything for a few hours and then in the evening you're trying to do tea and you're also doing all you know all your work so i think if you can set your days within the week monday is my house day so that's my food shop my sorting shit out Tuesday is my one of my businesses day I'll sort that out we're looking at buying a house to renovate that's on that day Wednesday is podcast I'm not gonna do it because in the meantime loads of stuff happens on my phone yeah anyway there's my productivity tips look forward to my journal coming out very soon other than that what else have I done oh guys you need to buy the I put it

on my Instagram the Dior oh my god back fuck I forgot the name of it give me a minute give me a it dior foundation right i've put my phone on i'll find it my phone on airplane mode so i'm not distracted it's the dior foundation um guys it is so good my makeup artist used it on my wedding day and i've not looked back since it is absolutely lovely i'm shade 2w but i still don't know the name of it because christine has been really slow is it on your stories no just search dior foundation oh i thought you said you put it on your instagram yeah i will have done but i probably and highlights and it's in a bottle like this it's really really really good i'm gonna boots is where i get it from i find it's the cheapest that it is dior backstage face and body foundation

it's fucking brilliant the other thing is the rodeo banana low lighter i've been putting that underneath my eyes so i've stopped guys if you've got like i know i'm going off on a tangent here but we did expect that today if you've got dry under eyes or like a little bit fine liney do not to conceal them that is going to make it worse i don't put any concealer on my under eye i put my foundation on first and then this low lighter is really really creamy and lovely if you try and conceal it too much it's going to stick into your fine lines like there's no doubt about it so that's something else i've learned and the other thing i've been using recently is the refi palette you you know the the refi bronzer and the refi brush is bloody brilliant it's have you got that

it's not a bad price either is it no it's really really good got it no it's really good so that's something else that i've been using and i just forgot to tell you and i also got the ariba is it called i want to say they're expensive stuff that looks really poosh um because we did the space nk hall didn't we so we went to the trafford center oh yeah and we did the space nk which we're going to tell you about and we're going to get a video of everything that we bought but i got the hairspray and it's fantastic it doesn't leave your hair all crispy but it kind of sticks it down a little bit other than that this week it's half term so i'm balancing having my child feeling guilty that i haven't got my child when i haven't got her sending it to my mum's overnight and then

ringing her every five minutes because i feel bad that i've not got her or keeping her and then working while i've got her and also feeling bad so that's basically my half term i don't know if anyone else gets the mum guilt in that kind of way i've actually got quite a funny story that i giggled i hope when something funny happens i always think about the pod um i went to a harvest um assembly so i took the littlest one and we went to watch thea in the harvest assembly which by the way can we just talk about the amount of things that school want you to go and do like i love the school the great but harvest assembly and obviously then you feel really bad if you don't go because all the other mums are going so i went to this harvest assembly i could see the back of

her head for the entire 40 minutes my mum said honestly it's about 20 minutes long it's not it's a lie it was 40 and all i could see was the back of her head the whole time so i sat there thinking this is fucking pointless and then they sang some songs um and then they went really quiet and they were all sat on the floor do you remember when you're in assembly and you used to sit on the floor with your legs crossed and you used to get a dead leg could you imagine doing that now i won't be able to get up and also we expect the kids to stay still i don't think i could anyway the year sixes were at the back so i was near them and everything was quite quiet and one of the boys did a fart and it was the biggest fart you've ever heard and it literally vibrated off the floor

and everyone turned to look at this boy and he was just sat there and i don't know whether he did it on purpose whether it slipped out but all the mum's shoulders were literally shaking and to be fair like no literally it was like dead silent it was like right guys got the habit it was really funny and actually it's probably the best part of the assembly in all honesty can you remember when people used to fart at school and it's like it always always have that same like school smell it's from the school dinners i used to bloody love school dinners right let's do this go on right i feel like so i'm sat here in the studio on my own with the lights shining on me and i just said before i feel like i'm gonna pierce morgan i feel like

i've done something really bad it's like baby reindeer and like i'm being baby reindeer i feel like i'm being like interviewed but go on we've got to make this work so we're gonna do a get to know lauren these are general questions that we get asked a lot like but the you know for you and ashley but this is your time to say your side of things okay and some people might know the answers to these but like i still know exactly and also i just think people just are interested aren't they in these kind of like yeah and i think as well you know like me and ash as i said before we'll do an episode and we'll reference to things but unless you listened from actual day one and took all that in we do often get messages like what did that mean where did that come from so i think it's

always good i think when you listen to a pod it's nice to know i mean maybe you don't want to maybe everyone's turned off well even you say stuff and i'm like i have no idea what you're talking about yeah but there's got but there has been a lot of new listeners and a lot of referencing old episodes and they probably don't get it and they're asking for products and stuff on things and i'm like wow we've been doing this for three years guys and then people are also sending stuff in like hi laura and ashley and lucas don't i love you and i'm thinking oh god wait till they get to me i love lucas he's great oh well annoying bitches here guys i need christina today so whether you think her voice is annoying whether you think mine's annoying i need her today so just

bloody bear with it she's fucking brilliant right okay so what did you do before the podcast what did i do before the podcast okay i'm assuming it means work wise yes so i will start so i shall i give you my life story you all want my life story do you know what let me check the time but yeah go on there you go no I'm gonna give you a brief one because I need to tell this has got a purpose to this right so I'm gonna start from the beginning when I left school I did beauty therapy because I didn't know what else to do and I remember my dad being fuming because he was like all this education I went to grammar school and you're gonna go and paint nails and he did he did say that and I went and I did beauty and it was all right bit of fun didn't mind it quite liked

to the industry when I was in college there was something called world skills which unless you know about it you won't know what that is and it's mad it's competitions and um yeah like competitions for skills so if you google world skills not that anyone cares there was plumbing there was beauty and you basically went and you competed with other colleges and their best person at what it was so mine was beauty and I didn't want to do it and I was scared to death but they were like, Lauren, we think you can do this. We want you to represent the college. So I had to go to this place in Blackpool and there was like 10 other colleges from around the Northwest and they picked the best person from each class. And we had to say, wax legs, do eyebrows, do nails. And we

were judged. You were judged on how good it was, how you held yourself, your uniform, your madness, right? But the reason I mentioned this is because that is something that I really didn't want to do. And what I could have done is thought, fuck that. I don't want to do that. Get someone else to do it. but I thought, do you know what? Say yes, say yes to it and try it. So I did that and I got quite far along with it. Um, and I ended up being the winner of this, that, and the other. Um, and from there, I then went on to do more of it like countrywide and I won't bore you, but what happened then is I then got a message from a TV program called, um, it was BBC three young beautician of the year and they'd seen me from that so again my point is here say yes open doors

go out of your comfort zone i used to cry the night before i did them i dreaded them but something in me was like out of your comfort zone lauren are you going nowhere because i'm telling you this because it exactly leads to what happened so i went and did this tv show with george lamb do you remember larry lamb his son everyone knows george lamb because he did the big brother did he yeah right he did um like a host like did he was it like um like a spin-off i'm sure he did but he was fit yeah i really fancied him at the time and i was about 19 and i went on a tv show and we had to go to somewhere in like surrey and we stayed in this house and there was four of us and we were all competing against each other to be young beautician of the year i've looked for the

episodes you can't find them because it would have been very fucking funny so we had to do all this thing we had judges it was camera and that's when i started speaking on camera as well like they interview you and i learned to how to do interviews and stuff like that and i only went and won the bloody show i think it was my sob yeah i won it yeah and i think it was my sob story because my dad had just died so i feel like they felt sorry for me then you're like x factor but anyway i won it and again didn't want to do it cried before it dreaded every second of it but i thought out of your comfort zone lauren come on you never know what this could lead to so then i got approached by a tunic like a beauty tunics that you used to wear um a uniform company and they

wanted me to model so i went in and i did this modeling there was another girl on the shoot called allison and she was a proper model i was a pretend one i was shit actually never been good at modeling and we were getting our makeup done together and we were chatting away and she said to me do you know what you'd be really good at what i do for a living this is totally again fluke how I ended up here so what do you do she said I work as a patient coordinator in a cosmetic surgery company and I make loads of money and it's actually a really good job and she said you'd be really good I'm good friends with the owner as well I'm going to mention him to you anyway while we were sat there getting our makeup done and she was lovely we ended up being really close friends

we went out for a fag and she got a text off one of the girls who worked there saying I've just handed my notice in literally while I was sat there just handed my notice in and she was like this is so fucking weird and again I wouldn't have been on that shoot if I didn't say yes when I was at college to doing this thing that I did not want to do because it was scary but I did it there I am she was like I'm gonna ring the owner I'm gonna tell him about you've got something you've got something you'd be great in sales a couple of days later and at this time I was working I was doing nails I absolutely hated it I can't tell you with a passion how much I hated doing beauty doing people's nails asking them about their weekend it wasn't it just was not

for me I would do the pedicures and they'd sit there eating the sandwiches and it'd knock me sick and they'd talk about the holidays they were going on and honestly for some people beauty's amazing and the money can be great but for me I'd be filing the toenails and they'd be sat there eating the sandwich and I'd not eaten all day and they'd be like yeah I'm going to Jamaica and I'd be like oh fuck off to Jamaica then it really and or I'd do the bikini I need to tell you about the bikini waxing I would do Hollywoods and bikinis and people had not wiped they had not mate no the stuff i i think about this all the time right i probably have seen i'm gonna guess 600 vaginas not just up close internal almost so right okay i i don't judge me on this i actually

haven't ever had a wax like in a beauty thing so do you you don't take do you take you know you pull your thong don't you wear some paper underwear yeah and but most of my clients i knew really well and just didn't wear any so you've got your gloves right you don't know hard how hard it is to hold a labia in place your fingers would go all sorts of places because you have to hold the skin very tight to yes yeah yeah so imagine a labia which is so you would have to hold the all sorts yeah yeah and we would do the bum hole we used to get them to put the legs over the head and we would you know and i was really good at it because i would just act like it was nothing we would just talk about the day and i didn't give a shit i've seen that many fannies

i didn't care i've seen prolapses i have seen all sorts of stuff but not everyone would come in clean yeah there would be poo stains no yeah yeah yeah yeah i would and i didn't didn't bat an eyelid i got farted on twice once by a pregnant lady i let it slide pregnant like come on another was an older lady again things aren't as tight as they once were and and it stunk and i just no it's i put right what happened is i pulled the strip off at the bum hole and as i pulled it i must like disjointed her arsehole and she literally and i was like carried on and the smell began to oh no it's like a sex fart like you know what she will be probably still reliving that that will be the moment when she closes her eyes and and she wakes up in the night she will

she will be doing the washing up and all of a sudden far from 10 years ago but i didn't bat an eyelid i think that's what kind of taught me to meet different people and change how i spoke to different people beauty is really good for that and but yeah there would be discharge on another level i would have to kind of let people know that they had some form of thrush because they didn't fucking know like there would be sorry guys like if you've been sick in your car but i saw it all and i never reacted where was i going with this well just because you know when i have a go for a smear test right yeah there's no way i would ever go through a smear test from like work or anything like or at least take a wipe you yeah toilet and give yourself a wipe over you almost

give yourself a hobath beforehand before you go and you and then sometimes you're sat there and you're thinking oh my god what's she thinking but then but then i think oh actually like she must yeah there's loads of vaginas and vaginas naturally have different smells and different looks and that is fine but there's a difference between that and a shit stain like yeah people did they did and i can't remember where i was going okay so we were talking about beauty stuff and the fact that you hated it can i ask one more can i ask one more question did you ever do massages i i'll tell you some of the secrets right yeah because i always want to know when i go for a massage i'm a lot hated every second of it so i think what are people thinking when

their massage what are you gonna have for your tea how long is this gonna last fucking hell this is awful um i used to do them and the boss that i used to have because there's no outgoing on a massage the free aren't you don't use any product it was just my time she would put offers on right and it'd be like 15 quid for a back massage i'd have 10 in a day i would hate it i'd be there and my face if you could see it was like this i hated doing it when i used to do facials when i'd put the mask on them i used to tint my eyelashes or paint my nails paint my toenails yeah or i'd be on my phone i tipped my eyebrows while they were asleep i'm like i'm just gonna pop outside of the room now while you have your face mask on and then i tipped my eyebrows i would do all that

do you know what you should write a book like confessions there's so much there's so much shit i used to do and i absolutely hated it but here we are so this girl gave me a job opportunity and it was at maya so the owner of maya john ryan rings me up and was like lauren we might have a job for you here so i go over and i left beauty i went to maya and that is when my life fully rocketed i started living in sorry working in manchester i met all these different people i started learning about sales i earned loads of money i got myself a little audi tt my whole world was opened into this wow now again right back to if i had not said yes to doing a competition at college i could have done what my mates did and be like fuck that that was well hard i didn't i

thought let's do it and then it got me to earning a load of money in my 20s so i did that until i was 30 30 ish and then in lockdown they started making redundancies I'd had enough I did voluntary redundancy after 10 years and I went and did a lip blush for one of my best friends which I did until March this year and yeah I was good at it it was good I did a bit of teaching in it but it got to the point where at the same time the pod was getting busier and busier and influencing and I lost the the drive and the love for it and that's where we are here and at Maya is where you met Ashley so that's where I met Ashley and she'll one day when I'm not in tell you her full story um and we met there and we worked together and we had the most it was some of my favorite years

working at Maya I look back on it with such fondness and it was stressful we had sales targets and but at a young age i learned a lot of really good skills i learned time management i learned having a high pressure job i learned to deal and work with different people different surgeons different clients and i think that made me really much more well-rounded to deal with all different people and sensitive subjects as well and it was exciting i got a load of surgery free um i got my boobs done like it was it was amazing and we had this great team of girls and when the manager wasn't in we used to make assault courses in the back room and we would get in teams seriously and we would do assault courses like rolling around jumping on things we would run

across the floor with do you know um paper wallets on our feet yeah and see who could get across the quickest we had a fucking ball but it was time to leave when i left the money went downhill a bit and then i did lip blush and then we're here so you did you enjoyed lip blush no my calling in life um but my best friend has the most amazing lip blush clinic arch and co it's she's unbelievably skilled and talented um and she took me under her wing and it was what i needed for those few years i went through really really rough time with a narcissist boyfriend and i worked with my best friend so i'm so grateful i needed it at that time but by the time the podcast had picked up a bit it was time to move i'm more of an office girl i'm not a hands

on practical working with people girl everyone just pissed me off all the time so the podcast we'll get on to how the podcast came about but obviously you had a bit of a following on instagram before the podcast how did you get that because for a lot of people you know i mean i've i've just used instagram for however many years it's been about and i just use it for my friends and i've never had more than a thousand followers I mean I've got um however many I've got but how do you when did you get to the point where you actually had a decent amount because obviously you would never be making money straight away no I didn't start making money from Instagram until a few years until the podcast how did you get that big following like where did that come from I mean it's

the weird thing is I had just normal followers and then what happened actually I'll tell you what happened I got married um and our wedding video went viral how I don't know it just did I don't know viral on where though like on inst on no on I can't remember what the platform's called in fact I don't really want to say it because I can't be honest with everyone watching it it was a good video um it was a really good video to be fair but it went viral I don't really I don't know but it just went viral and I started getting more and more followers and then quite shortly after the wedding we went on a honeymoon and I started taking like body pictures bikini pictures that kind of thing pictures of me and my then husband um and then I got pregnant and

pregnancy gives you a lot of followers because you tend to find that people that are also pregnant want to see how you're getting on I started doing loads of pictures of the pregnancy and then I had Thea and she was the most gorgeous baby ever and then it started really coming in people started following me off the back of her and people like keep kids and I did a few like mum things and I kind of did almost a little bit of mum influencing at that time until she was about two but by this point people had got quite invested because I ended up single with her so people were quite interested in the story by then and I don't think people followed me because I was an influencer or because of my fashion tips or they followed me out of pure curiosity that what the fuck happened

there then and then people and it's probably not the best way to become an influencer because people then know more about your private life and the more interested in the gossip i think people were interested in the gossip of me and i met a new partner quite soon after that was like oh i remember getting a message once that was meant to go to someone else that was like oh she's got a new fella already wonder who this is and it was that and i think it didn't come from the best place in the world to be honest my following i think it came from people either being a bit nosy and i do think there was a degree of people that looked up to me because they had ended up single and they were like well if this girl is doing it she's on her own with a baby she's doing really

well she had this perfect wedding and it fucking happened to her and i think that was a bit of it as well and on all this time so during this time when you started to get the more followers and people start to gossip so i know you don't like talking about this but this is what kind of leads onto the podcast yeah you found out about an awful website where people spoke about you yeah so what happened then is this was kind of going on and I knew I had a good following on Instagram but I didn't class myself in any way as an influencer I posted when I wanted to post um and I didn't really I didn't think I was that well known really it's just fucking Instagram it wasn't really that deep and I certainly didn't make money off it or anything like that at this

point um and then I ended up with another guy who was awful and was a narcissist and that got people talking quite a lot because they were like what is she doing with this guy which I fully agree with and then i got a message so whoever sent me this if you're still listening thanks a fucking bunch saying do you know you're on this website and i had no idea about this website i no idea what it was and i went on it and i sat there for an hour going through just mouth wide open comments about my life that i never knew people were watching in that way it was things like was her little girl strapped in properly in a car seat there she's such a shit mum she's always on holiday um that poor little girl imagine having a mum like that now as far

as i'm concerned and still i'll say that now i'm not perfect mum but i pride myself in being the best mum i can be i'm not perfect but i adore that child um and it was really hurtful stuff it was a lot about the boyfriend it was a lot and i realized it actually went back about a year and i'd just not known about it it was the boyfriends the split ups the the juice about the ex-husband why it didn't work and then what was really hurtful is there was one particular woman i don't know if she's listening now but you're a fucking twat if you are she will be because they love it and she must have known my mum back in the day and i've still not told my mum this and she doesn't listen so she won't find out but this woman must have been my mum's age wrote loads

of stuff about my upbringing which was great by the way um but about my dad's job which was in a different country and just stuff that like nobody would know except somebody that knew me or my mom and some of it wasn't even correct but it was like this pages and pages of people commenting every day did you see the picture she put up today she doesn't look like that on that picture it was just unbelievable and i deleted instagram for three months and and i was scared to even go like i would go to tesco and i would look around thinking is it you is it you is it you and i was at a really low point already because of this narcissist that i was with and it just all added to it and it was i can't tell you how awful it was and you wanted i wanted to put a lot of it

straight now i don't i don't bother because think what you fucking want to think i'm really happy so but i wanted to put a lot of it straight at that point um and then i was friends with ashley and i'd been tagging ashley and stuff and then these people picked up on ashley as well and at this time I did read it I don't now I can't it scares me to death so I cannot go on it and I can't it upsets me too much but Ashley then became on it and that's when the pod started because we I said to Ashley what do we do about this like what the fuck they're saying I'm a prostitute because one of the obsessions on there is money and it's how you've got your money so I assume these people haven't got any because they wouldn't care otherwise um and it's watch how she earning

that how she bought that then a lot of it was money related so then they assumed that I was a prostitute because i've been on holiday to dubai so me and ashley were going to do that makes you a prostitute yeah and i mean i wasn't like if i was i'd say um but a lot of it was it was just really a lot of it was money-based and i find a lot of it is which just shows that people are just not happy themselves um and then ashley was like oh my god i'm on it too they're saying this that the other so what we were going to do is a live my idea was let's do an instagram live let's get together at your house and let's put straight all these things that are being said about us now as i say it's gone too far for me to do that to every person that has something to say

but at that point my following wasn't that big and i wanted to explain myself like i was embarrassed um so we were going to do that and then ashley said look i've got a better idea there's these things called podcasts and it was like lockdown time so i didn't i don't listen to podcasts i'm not gonna lie don't have bloody time when i'm in the car i'm ringing people um so she said let's just do a podcast and i've got to give it to her it was ashley she'll fucking love that um but it was she got in touch with the producer and was like can we do a one-off episode and kind of it was just to address these people that's all it ever was going to be and then we did one episode and as we were chatting obviously our chemistry kind of came out and we spoke about other things

as well and it was funny and then from there we did another and another and another and another and so you saying you said earlier you know that whoever this woman is who told you about it i you know thank you i hate you or whatever you should actually be thankful because as horrific as that time was and still is because you know obviously it could still be going on i can't look at stuff like that yeah but the thing is as awful as all that is look at what this has brought you this is now your full-time job job around all the followers that you have you know the fantastic opportunities that you get all of that and yeah and it's still gonna keep going up and up came from that so you should be really proud of it yeah and i think it's i've been guilty of this

you know you hear people just banging on about trolling these celebrities and you're like oh shut up like you've got such an easy life blah blah blah and but what people need to remember and you know I know it's not just celebrities like you know I feel sorry for them now as well but actually you were a normal person you weren't earning loads of money you were you know you're just a normal mom trying my best and making mistakes yeah trying and and people saying you know just imagine like the most horrible you know insecure things that you think about yourself or whatever and people are putting that out there yeah they would take screenshots of me at a bad angle and be like look at a double chin and it's it's just and you know i don't want to

bring myself into it but i've been on there is what i will um well they'll love this but yeah i was on there and and i said to you and this sounds really dramatic i was like it changed my soul when i went on there for a day for a whole day i was vacant yeah i felt sick yeah you feel scared you're scared yeah you don't it's honestly and all i can say is i'm sure that some of the people listening to this go on the website do the trolling like there's a difference like guys i am not a fucking saint i will go in my group chat and i'll be like wasn't keen on that outfit or whatever i'm not a saint we all have a little bit come on we do didn't like a hair like that what do you think hey why is she split with him that was a bit weird we do that there's a difference

between going on a website and just purely spouting hate and and i know that they probably will listen and the only thing I want to learn from it is like what what is so unhappy in your life like would you tell your family and friends that you did this if the words that you said on there were shown to your child if you've got kids your daughters your mum how would you feel about yourself would you be embarrassed because I think you would I think you'd be really embarrassed which means you know it's not quite right and also why is your obsession with someone else's life and their money why do you care and and that's something I will never understand until somebody that has perhaps once been a troll or whatever until and there's a difference between

trolls that have troll accounts and they troll nasty things on on on pictures and that's slightly different that's to get a reaction that's something yeah this is people that genuinely are fully invested and they want to slag someone off i would love to speak to someone who's ever done it before but i don't think they've got the balls i would so i would do too and i would absolutely love to do an episode where you read it all out but you i know you don't want to do that no but to be fair we could laugh about it but i just think then do we are we just giving these people yeah so exactly well no exactly right we'll we'll move on and lighten it up and what i think we should do is carry on if you want the full story of my life not much of it's fucking light

well yeah what we should do is carry on some of this over on the bonus because what we should talk about on the bonus is lauren's crazy stories that she has because you have the best stories that i've ever come across ever and i think we just keep i think we should do some more x-rated ones on the bonus but it's halloween tomorrow so we did do some dating horror stories do you want to read a couple of these guys if you have listened to the pod before you'll know that i'm not a big dater ashley should be here now because she is a dater she admits it herself she loves the days i have actually never ever been on a date um i don't know how i've been married twice and i've never been on a date but here we are so let me get some of your horror stories now if you're in the dating

scene now i really hope this doesn't put you off keep going girls keep going but here we are i went on a first date and he took me for a drive and he rapped to eminem to me straight face for three minutes i did not see him again right i'm gonna tell you something i can rap the majority of cleaning out my closet i might go on no i can't i'm on my own now it's too much pressure when ashley's in i will do it um and i can also do the mum's spaghetti we can all yeah yeah i can do that one i loved eight mile um and i can do i can do i can rap a lot of m&m songs like i honestly can so i get it i get why you did that it's a skill maybe not on a date though just on eight mile do you know i used to love in that when i was younger the sexy sex did you ever

right do you know what i used to be obsessed with as a child buffy the vampire slave oh never watched no i like you've got to watch it i was obsessed did you watch buffy right and i even right so i used to watch it when i was about i don't know what age would we have been oh yeah you would have been yeah nine ten yeah and i used to be at a church group so my mom of course i was my mom's religious um she she's a christian but not like a i don't know i call her a god botherer um but only in jest but she's like um i don't know anyway she goes to church and i used to go to this group called c and it was in a church and we'd go and i had to go every friday evening and it was like it was like a kid's got i think my mom just wanted a fucking break from me so she

used to send me there probably hoping that i'd be cleansed and we did like she probably thought this girl's fucked to get her to church and we did like normal games and stuff but they were a bit like god invest so he'd be like let's do a game of god bingo no we didn't hide and seek let's see you can find god first we didn't do that but we did games and then so we'd read like a story and halfway through the woman would be like and that's why jesus helps anyway right and then we'd have like a break bit and i convinced my friends that i was buffy the vampire i was a vampire slayer and and i was like look don't tell anyone but i am i'm a vampire slayer as well and they would go along with it and we would run into the dark in the church and i would do high kicks unless

you've watched it you won't know like roundhouse kicks and stuff into the dark i was really weird and they would watch me i bet i've just got one of the vampires so that is what i used to watch and i used to watch the sex scenes again and again and again i didn't know buffy had sex scenes oh really racy i thought that was no when she got with spike oh the sex was for your laughing because you know don't you um we've got our videographer and studio assistant here and she's like laughing and nodding along because she knows that spike and buffy used to go for it um and we used to watch that i'm sure i probably used to masturbate to it at a later age anyway so i've forgotten where we are with okay dating horror stories this is the problem with me this is the bing bong boo it

comes from me definitely right so oh my god his mates turned up and sat behind me they had cut out eye holes in newspapers oh that is so tight they'd fully done him over there a guy made me pay half on the first date he said that's what people in london do boy bye is that ashley that'll be actually we spoke to scott about this um and i i actually think i would i would hope that he would pay but i would certainly offer because as well i feel like i know me and ash have such a different view on like what men should pay for and stuff like that but i would feel i want to feel like i've got my own shit thank you i don't need your fucking money that's how i feel so i think i would have to offer pick me up in a transit van and he took me to weatherspoons

tragic i used to have a thing about guys in a tranny van though honestly like do you know what i mean is that i had it's that we were talking about it the other day because i fancy that bin man on marriott first sight but i'm fancy but they showed his like vt of him in his uniform i get it fucking ali's fit honestly i get it when james comes home when he opens the door and he's got like dirt all over his face and dirty fingers it's like a real man yeah i like when i was on raya a lot of the men were businessmen and that is why it did not work for me i'm not into i know a lot of people had the suits and i want a man who's going to go around someone's house to do the boiler and then shag him which by the way by the way i have a friend who's a builder

and not a builder a plumber and it does happen he's been proposed you know sexually proposed loads of times when he's been one-on-one in a house with a woman fuck off really did you used to read nuts magazine when they used to do the confessions yeah i used to wank over them and yeah i know but they were obviously like made up by the men in the office no but it's true there was like and it was all about like but you know plumbers coming around and stuff like that true he has shagged more he went once to a girls and there was two of the girls and they were uni students and he shagged them both yeah true story true story um mind you if james came to do my extension i'd give him one absolutely i would come on to him like if he came

if you never if you didn't know him he came around your house came to build something would you i don't think you would be like yeah fuck me now i don't think you would perhaps not in those words but i might like accidentally leave some undies around i don't know oh my underwear is right in the middle of all your bricks how did it bloody get there oh my knickers are on your head how did i throw them down there i was just doing that i'm just doing the laundry i'm just doing the laundry and i found these oh um james is such a baby he'd himself and run off oh he likes me to think that he probably wouldn't um but yeah i've got this fantasy of him in well i say fantasy like obviously it's not a fantasy because i'm married

it to him but you know him in his full like gear and just the pants off having a shag but still in the rest of the gear the high-vis jacket and just the penis dangling out although a penis a penis dangling out the bottom of a t-shirt is such a fucking thing you know what is such an it though is when they just have their socks on and like they're sort of scrambling around like a chicken with the little legs and the ball sack swinging around no but honestly have you ever seen a penis dangling out of a t-shirt it's fucking wrong and a little bum the little bellend the little wrinkly bellend oh it's all right anyway this is a fantasy i meant like more like a hard one not just like a flaccid penis but when james has been working all day in the cold like

he says to me his penis disappears so maybe guys if you're going to shag a builder do it in the summer because i believe that they have no penis in the winter he said he has nothing he has a thumb um right anyway oh this one's quite funny i've got the giggles now first day i got locked in the toilet for two hours and two members of staff to kick the door down oh you die he emailed me an excel sheets of dom terms does that mean um dominatrix like what he's willing to do i've never ever done that that's one thing i've never done on a day a guy once leaned in wow really close to me and said you know you've been giving them a good time when you make them bleed or they've got a fucking

chlamydia jesus apparently that's a sign of comedy bleeding after sex right guys i feel like this has gone quicker than i thought so i'm sorry if the rambling has been too much for you but we have got loads more to cover so over on the bonus we're going to talk a little bit more in depth i think we talk a bit more in depth about my first marriage situation and the baby and stuff because i think that's quite like that's quite deep let's talk about that over on the bonus and we've got more funny stories we've got more dating dilemmas and basically just more of me all of a sudden the bonus listeners go down to one and it's my mum and me right love you loads thank you for bearing with us today guys thank you christina for helping me because i needed another voice like i couldn't

just do this on my own so i mega appreciate it thanks for listening please say that you enjoyed it because um i might get complex if you don't so that's it are we done and we love you ashley and we love oh yeah i forgot about her um no i'm do you know what as much as i slag her off um and i wind her up i have missed her and i will be really glad to have her back even though she is a dick no she's not really we love her so much it's because i can it's because she's not here i feel like lots of horrible stuff no we love her it's not the same without her i'm looking at her little empty chair and i can't wait to have a little bottom implant sat back there again i love that little bum right we'll see you next week guys and ashley will be back thank you for

bearing with us we love you loads go and do your affirmations and shit bye