Nip Tuck - Get to know us

Episode Date: April 2, 2024

On this week's episode we answer all your questions. How did we start the podcast? Would we have a threesome? What cosmetic surgery do we regret? You will hear it all!If you would like to be part of our Patreon and get bonus episodes, be part of our group chat and have a chance to win giveaways then sign up here....https://patreon.com/niptuckpodGet in touch with us @niptuckpod or you can email [e-mail] courtesy of BMG Production Music Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

welcome to nip tuck not giving a fuck this is the podcast where we celebrate being positive aspirational lovely sexy women i've been to spin this morning and i'm feeling sweaty and sexy and strong i went to m sculpt this morning the late the lazy girls version and i feel sexy and strong to baby however you get your sexy and strong is up to you little to be fair the less effort the better do you want to hear something funny that's happened in my group chat this morning what so the first bit isn't funny my friend's gran died so she's on the way to the funeral now and she's in the car and uh her partner nice day for a funeral lovely day for a funeral um lovely day i would i could have if we didn't have this i would have gone for the buffet um anyway sausage rolls and

ham sandwiches so she's in the funeral car right and she her partner i think he's been working away so he was meeting her there from away do you know what i mean so they've not gone together and uh she's like right you need to be at the crematorium um where the creme creme de la creme where the ceremony is at 10 30 um anyway she's in the car and he's like where where are you the fuck and she's like i said 11 30 he's only at someone else's funeral you've seen him you hear about this so yeah he's doing he's just sets it back saying lauren i'm in someone else's funeral and he said i thought i didn't recognize anyone so he's there and he's black sue everyone's queuing up outside to go in and he's you know that nod that people do that like you're right mate yeah

a sad nod because you can't really smile at a funeral but you want to say hi and he's nodding at all these people and they're nodding back and he's thinking i don't know any of these people are and he's now stuck in the middle of someone else's funeral and he's trying to get out of it without causing a scene and he's he's basically at the wrong funeral and i just thought it really made me laugh so she's been laughing in the funeral car so it cheered her up i guess we nearly had a funeral with ed oh my god i know like that's not okay it's so tell everyone what happened so basically ed's been in china for for 10 days he's probably been in the maldives with his other girlfriend yeah definitely um and he landed in heathrow airport left his car there

got back in the car to come home yesterday afternoon and he was texting me dead excited to pick the kids up like he had a plan in place like of course saskia first and then i'm gonna get teddy i'm so excited to see them and he had really bad jet lag like off this 14 hour flight and he was driving down the motorway it's not funny but you can imagine his driving home for christmas big smile on his face he was on a work call as well oh my god i hope he didn't scream in like a really girly non-non-businessman way and a log off a lorry from the other side of the road

just went BOOF that is so I'll put the pictures in our group chat they're really bad but he if he'd have been in a smaller car he wouldn't be here today would he Lauren wow no this full

windscreen is smashed we'll put it in patient it's really really bad but what did he do oh my god I hope he didn't go so if you can do it he said well luckily i were near stork services so oh i pulled over and stork's quite a decent services actually you know listen i could you'll know this stuff tell you because he used to be a truck driver i could tell you the rating out of 10 for any service station like when we're in the

car together okay no no no we're not stopping at that one because that one's got this that the other and then like there's this one service station that i swear he loves more than me and it's like near the late district have you been in it the dead posh one with the bakery that is a very funnily enough because james because james drives with work and to different places he's a bit like that and we were going where were we bloody going i can't remember and he went oh we need to stop it might have been we need to stop here and i was like what four and he's like oh it's a fantastic services the toilets were nice as well i can't do a man caxon but yeah he's like no we need to stop at the service and all that's more solvent

anyway yeah it's got a farm shop you can get organic depress juice on the way it's fantastic it would recommend would recommend for a day and that's it if anyone remembers the name of that but yeah um so ed's luckily he's still with us for now um he must have been really frightened he was very chilled very chilled but yeah so straight over his head because he wouldn't have been able to see so he's he's lucky that he kind of could move over and get a child in the front oh no i mean i was in the front with him do you know when people are pregnant they go carrying precious cargo yeah that way you would have been carrying precious cargo do you know what though it did make me think i was in bed last night i was thinking

life can end like that yeah and you weren't nice i wasn't either so like think what are the chances of like a final destination situation happening and then i was like you know what it just makes me think fuck everyone fuck everything everything and just i agree go and do whatever the fuck you want and there's no point worrying about little i'm getting so much better at that now but about worrying about little things because you could have a tree log smash into your car the next day so then you've spent your last day on earth worrying about my worry at the minute is that i've not done the meter reading do you know what i mean like that's your day oh fuck off you had one day left on this earth and i spent it worrying about the meter reading that i've not done it yet

do you know what i mean it's so silly so today girls when you're listening whatever little thing you're worrying about it's not gonna matter in five years stop why waste your time with this two years i'd say six months six months tomorrow really if it's not gonna matter tomorrow then don't bother are you banging around on the tape yeah you are i'm just having a drink of coffee guys we are recording at home today because of the easter break and for some reason sasuke has been given like a million years off school again so here we are are they ever in school are they ever in the lesson i know they just got two weeks off and i'm like well i mean a dad obviously doesn't probably even know that she's got two weeks off because it doesn't affect him in any

way shape or form so he won't know he won't have to maybe take a day off work an annual leave or maybe cut hours short he won't have a clue i don't think don't think he even knows anyway so we're doing something really fun today aren't we lauren yes i actually love it when we do this because it's great just catching up and all the rest of it oh my god by the way have you seen my photo fab chest results looks like a different person do you know what charlotte said to me today she went it did look a bit granny chest and it did it was really pigmented um but you know it feels so soft as well off one treatment it did hurt and the recovery was a good 10 days it's more than your face and it was itchy but fucking hell look at the results you know what though lauren um because

obviously photofab is really really expensive there is actually me and lauren use the um this device called zip halo guys fantastic if you can invest in two things get the led mask and the zip halo because you've got two different totally different treatments anyway long story short yeah the two totally different things the zip halo there is a setting on there for pigmentation and i've been using it on my chest and the pigment crusts out of your chest what you've been using The zip has that. The zip has a... That's what mine did with...

A pigment setting. So if you put the zip on, on the pigment setting, and then you get brown crust a few days later, it's the pigment coming out. I did not, I'm going to be completely honest, I use it for the tightening, the toning, the contour. I didn't know about that either. I did not know you could do that.

How good? I didn't know. Really good. So if you can't, obviously, photofab can be expensive, so... Anyway, we were just about to introduce what we were doing, and Bing Bong Boo... Bing Bong Boo got ADHD'd. ADHD'd.

Bing, bong, boo, la, da, da, poo. So today, guys, because we've picked up a whole new load of listeners over the last few months. A whole new load of gang members, really. Yeah, exactly. So basically, there's loads of shite that you'll hear us referencing or talking about, and you probably think, but I want to know more. Yeah, tell us the backstory. Tell us from the beginning.

And that's what we're going to do. so we're gonna answer your questions now i have not read the questions because it gives me anxiety i've skimmed and well we said don't hold back and you didn't um some of them are really i don't know we're gonna try we're gonna do our best we're gonna and yeah but also are they nutters for asking the questions i don't know are we nutters yeah and we were all nutters i suppose some of And I'm like, who asked that? But listen, that's what we're there for. We don't want to know your favourite colour.

We want to know your favourite sex position. Like, let's keep it interesting here. Shall I read one and then you read one? Or should we make Christina the random lady do it? Christina, random lady, can you read the questions out? So, first one. I want to know the answer to this as well. What made you start a podcast together?

It was me, wasn't it? The brains. The brains. You're pinky and I'm the brains. Yes, absolutely. okay so basically in um covid i properly got into podcasts and i am a little busy body around the house so i loved the fact that i could listen to something consistently while doing jobs like because i love having real housewives on but you've got to be there and running back in and

out of your bedroom looking at the tv like who said what what what yeah and i was just like oh my god i love this this is fantastic um and i actually went to uni and did television and radio production so i feel like i've i just i loved it anyway rang lauren and i said lauren no but at the same time something else was going on wasn't it at this exactly the same time yes and something bad happened with this awful like gossip website is it still going probably oh absolutely yeah i imagine it's yeah yeah yeah um so we're probably still all over that but the oh i i believe we will be on there like i would say 90 of it was literally like fucking bullshit yeah like it was you kind of think like not true and it's do you know how frustrating it is like when someone's

made something up about you've all had a rumor before haven't we yeah but it's and then we're having that rumor like there for everyone to join in and the thing is you can see you're like you know how chinese whispers happen it starts with a tiny thing and then someone adds on and adds on and then you're like how and then that person then goes online and says well i heard sat there eating a bag of crisps typing with the greasy fingers it got really bad in covid the twattle because um i feel like do you know what i'm gonna say a lot of women don't have friends like we have so they felt like that was their space to bitch and gossip whereas like we've got our friends our group chats like we don't even think i also think i think unhappy people attract unhappy

people and i think nasty people have something in common with other nasty people so it makes them feel better but i don't believe there is one person one person on a website like that that is happy and content they cannot be because you're not you've got time you're not and you don't want to do it so it's people there that make themselves feel better by by dragging people down and and then they all make friends anyway there was this website and i was like we're not doing a passive aggressive instagram post about this let's do a fucking podcast here we go let's do one podcast and we decided to almost like we're doing today so because it's so frustrating you don't want to respond but i can't like now i don't care i don't care like thank you guys whoever's listening that's

on tattle because you've done this for us and it's our career but at the time it's like i can't tell you how frustrating it is to know that there's a rumor and to know that people are talking because at the time we'd look at it we don't know but we did and to know and not be able to say it's not true that's not true it's so frustrating so we were like right let's do one episode the main things that have been said let's just address it we'll feel much better for it it wouldn't have stopped it but it would make us feel better so we just said let's do one yeah yeah and that's what we did and then we've carried on can i ask why were you both on tattle in the first place like did you have a big social media my fault did you have big social media following like what was it

like how did you attract no so i start it was my fault and then i dragged ashley down with me yeah so i didn't have a i wouldn't not at all i would say maybe i had i can't remember maybe 15 to 20 000 followers so bigger than a normal account but nowhere near an influencer account or anything like that no no no no not at all i didn't do anything like that but i think because i'd always so openly documented um when i got married when i had a baby and then it obviously i got divorced people kind of them because the more you share the more they were they were fascinated with my life and how but it was the perfect wedding and then they got divorced they were fucking fascinated by it and also i think a lot of people looked at it and was like

oh my God, I'm a single mum, blah, blah, blah. So people got really fascinated and then started delving further into my life. And I got a new boyfriend and they were like, ooh, ooh, ooh, she's got another one. And it all, it was just, it was really weird. It was like an obsession with me. And then one day I must've tagged Ashley in something

and they were like, ooh, here's another one. and then ashley was at the time starting her cosmetic consult so she started becoming really open and i think one of the first people to do it in all honesty about a treatment about a surgery so then they were like oh pretty girl more pretty rich girl oh and they kind of sunk the teeth into her and then they made her her own thread which i think actually got bigger than mine mine yeah yeah yeah so that is so then we were like what are we going to do about this and it was really traumatic at the time i deleted instagram for three months um i found it really traumatic but i just we did the podcast everything but the bits like we did one episode but that pissed me off the

most is like there's lists of footballers i've shagged or something and like lauren knows like i didn't even know who these people's names were and you've got the wrong girl like a lot of stuff about like oh she's always out and she's up late at night and blah and i'm like i go to bed at half a every night you know like you're not getting a message off me after that time and i don't really go out either like but listen it is what it is thank you and i must say yeah we contradict ourselves we say one thing we change our minds but we own it we own it and that so we did one episode just one and um we were with a producer called charlie absolutely lovely girl we did one episode and she was like guys for this is got a lot of people listening and then people were like

we loved it do another so then we used to be like okay shit let's do another there was no consistency like there is now where like it's our job we go every week it was more like we do a few weeks and then we'd not do any for a bit and then we'd be like oh shit let's do another one it was kind of And it was expensive, wasn't it, Ashley? Really? And we paid for it all ourselves. Yeah, we did. Ed helped us, didn't he, Ashley?

Yeah, mainly. Thanks, Ed. Do you know what? Thank you, Ed. Because Ed was like, listen, whatever it takes. When it started getting bigger, he was like, I see something here. I'm going to support you. And that's why we love Ed.

I'm going to support you girls. He wasn't like small dick energy. He was like, no, Ashley, this is good stuff. He was laughing at the episode. So he was like, if you need support, because it's so expensive, guys. He was like, I'm going to help to back you while you get off your feet. so we're always very grateful to and he did so we're very grateful to ed we we did as well with our own but ed certainly helped right come on christina more questions while we can before

lauren chews everyone's ear it's a podcast okay what were your first impressions of each other um we've told this story before but let's lauren thought i was up my own arse yeah i thought she was a little annoying girl that had far too much to say that people think that i'm very good at that um no I thought she was a little annoying girl with little leopard print heels and I thought you've only just started here why are you piping up so much we were in a meeting she kept speaking I was like oh you're the new girl shut up like why have you got I thought why have you got so much to fucking say and then I realized actually she might be quite beneficial and helpful because I can't remember what I'd asked her but she'd be like oh my god I know this oh my god I'll tell

you that like she is now I know the best makeup whatever so then I was like okay and then I was going to warehouse and i was like what do i wear to warehouse she was like oh girl go on this website i think it was nasty gal oh no no what was it something like that and then i thought oh she's all right then and then we worked together and it just developed yeah i let i let my guard down and she came in took a while believe it or not i am um i'm not really that interested in people at the beginning no yeah she's she's fine what does a typical day look like for both of you you go first lauren no because you're just gonna be like so busy busy busy um i get up at about half six i if we've got i'll do it when we've got all the kids because it's more interesting

i come downstairs i get the two boys and james's little girl and my little girl up um get them all ready get the breakfast james comes down fully dressed and everyone's dressed and everyone's had the breakfast then i go to pilates normally then i work from my computer then i go to appointments then i go and record the pod maybe whatever i've got on i record videos we're on our phone all fucking day then i go and get fear i do a food shop a dinner it's busy um so what i do is i wake up in the morning probably about quarter to six six and my body just automatically wakes me up at that time um and then uh snowy needs a feed usually by half six seven as well but teddy wakes up at half six seven two so i get the two little babies downstairs um change both the bums

sort all the breakfast out then my nanny comes at half seven um usually i have to drag saskia out of bed because she loves to lie in um and i will have the breakfast be cooking like all of that getting everyone ready clearing the plates while she gets them ready for school then she leaves the house at eight i've got snow unless my nanny's here and she's here on a monday thursday friday saturday for snow or the nanny the other nanny she comes between eight and two p.m which is a massive help because that time I could do so much in um and then I'll do some bits of work maybe go for some treatments maybe meet a friend for coffee always get back home by two and then I start cooking tea and getting everything ready for the crew coming home um and then Ed gets home

by six and my nanny gets home half five six with the other two kids so it's like chaos and I am tucked up in bed by half seven eight o'clock because do you know one of my friends stayed with me when Ed was away and she was like to me like literally you fall asleep by nine o'clock you've got no life and I was like hun if someone wakes you up with a tummy bug at 1am you're fucked i was like when you can when everyone falls asleep i'm like i have to fall asleep so that i'm the same i'm i'm an early riser i've got loads of energy in the morning running around like a duracell bunny but then it gets to about seven well yeah so i have my crash at three normally um and then i got and i can't do very much and but i'm in bed and ready for sleep by

nine really we're pretty boring we're busy like i never watch telly and then i never stop never sit down but i don't really know what i do i just run around like a dick same next question how do i find a rich man okay i don't know i've not got one i can't i've had many um so and this is me just being brutally honest here like that's what i need like yeah no i think that's good that you can say that but at the same time i've had rich men who have spoken to and stuff and i think oh no no no no no no no no like there has to be love there guys like i'm not just saying this but there there really is and like you know me and ed lauren like we actually do really genuinely yeah i think you've been very lucky ashley because there's a difference between

finding a rich man because i i have found rich men before like what one person that i tried out i'd had a load of dickheads and i thought do you know what not doing this anymore rich i'm not doing this much rich man i'm going to that's when there's this guy and i don't know how i got in that situation and i thought nope that's what i'm doing now i don't care i've got my friends i've got my little girl I just want a nice life that's it I want to be a range over mum so I tried it I know but by myself now um but so I tried it and uh it's not enough and it was not enough the money was not enough so that is not for me but I think at least with Ashley she's so lucky because she's found that but also loves him as well but I think answering like a bit for you

since i've known you you've always been really clear on what you want in a partner and i don't think there's anything wrong with that and if one of those things is he needs to be wealthy then that's fine that's what you have chosen doesn't mean you will go out with anybody that's wealthy but it means that's in the package that you're looking for and you're not willing to but because what's the point you get with a man who's got you're not going to get on you're not going to be on the same level like yeah it's not going to work is it exactly and you do need so anyway how but that's what Lauren just said you need to be unapologetic about being

clear from the beginning of what you want so like that's when me and Lauren are like do you even offer to split the bill like I don't like from the first day I'm like the bills here there you go because no like I've

come here to anyway long story short how do you meet your rich man you need to give off a lot of self confidence you can't just look good I'm telling you that now like you need to walk in open shoulders head high make sure that you look expensive as well and you know you're not just wearing something cheap what i always do and say to everyone is instead of going in like you know to an online shop where everyone's gonna have the same clothes

on go on vinted and buy something like that for 50 quid that's absolutely amazing say that was for 500 quid and there is there's loads of stuff out there so make sure you look expensive going confident and just make sure you're in the right places as well i agree with you about looking expensive so you need to it doesn't and we're not saying you need to be it's not the attractiveness it's not how fit you are that actually doesn't really matter it's that you are groomed you look expensive you be even if you're not even if your skin you be you behave in that way and you also i think ashley they need to think that you're not that you need to play the game where they're not you don't need them you don't want them you're not bothered because they they have women throwing

themselves at them because they've got money like you can have a really ugly man he'll still get bitches yeah so you've got to give that aura off because they are normally rich people i think are businessmen so they're very switched on and they like the chase and they like um you know they want to better themselves and they want a challenge they've not got rich for nothing so you need to become that like prize that they want to win that everyone you could i would even let them know in the right way that everyone wants a piece there's lots of people but you're just picking selectively who you want to text messages straight away all that jazz but where do you find them ashley so raya raya i would guess there's more not everyone but richer people on there raya um expensive

country clubs like hail country club like you're not going there if you're skin or are you going there if you're skin i know i was skin i know but you know what i mean you go to places that that you need a level yeah we've spoken about this before and like instead of going out to town to like the club go to like a wealthy area where there's like a pub or something like that gyms like lauren said like a private members vibe that kind of thing spa um but yeah if you just want no um i would give seeking arrangements to go yeah i know people that have done pretty well on that depends what you want if you just want a man to pay for your shit there's lots of ways yeah and just make sure you don't show your face make a nice name for yourself up but one thing i

would always say is it like i've just said that story you need to decide within yourself what you want it is not worth if you just want money and you really don't care about love or anything fine but i don't think you'd stay happy forever i really don't and i think yes you would get money in a lifestyle but there would be a piece missing in your life a little bit yeah so you need to you don't sell your soul for a cartier you don't want a controlling guy either it's not always worth the money so weigh it up a little bit and always have a plan wealthy man well a lot of wealthy men are controlling yeah so just don't don't do everything just for the money make sure you're happy to yeah okay next next question worst well-known celebrity encounter oh i've got one i don't

think i have i've got one i um no i will not tell the person's name i've got two in fact one and i will keep it brief because we are not haters we are not mean girls but there was one celebrity and i did some work on her well known i think she thought she was more