Nip Tuck - Get your Squirrel done!
Episode Date: April 29, 2025We react to the crazy comments on our backstreet bleph video! And hear why Lauren thought her waters had broken!If you want BONUS episodes each week you can subscribe on Apple or sign up to our Patreo...n - patreon.com/niptuckpod Get in touch with the show - EMAIL - hello@niptuckpod.com WHATSAPP - 07418 610097INSTAGRAM/TIKTOK - @niptuckpod Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Guys, hi and welcome to Nip, Tuck, Not Giving a F**k.
So.
Hello guys, happy Wednesday darlings.
Happy Wednesday. We hope you've enjoyed our Katherine Ryan episode.
We just need to talk about that first because we recorded...
Oh, sorry.
Is that a sale?
A sale.
Love that.
Ring the bell.
Because basically we recorded it such a long time ago.
We did, yeah.
What, like a month ago?
six weeks i'm gonna early march it was a while ago yeah ages ago and we came in on a saturday
it's an extra she is lovely so let's set the scene a little bit because i do think i love when i hear
like about the background of stuff so we met her turn your phone on silent so we met her on a
saturday the studio isn't normally open so we had to come through the back doors right yeah
she was just there at the back doors in a long what they called coated coat dead normal just
stood there no entourage no nothing just come on she walked oh my god she walked she walked you
know what i mean she'd walked over from the hotel she didn't have an assistant or anything she was
doing a show that night she just came over stood by the back doors with us came in with us and was
just so lovely and like she didn't even have you know like sometimes you might have an assistant
or somebody nothing just no chill and she was absolutely lovely and we said to her like is
there anything you don't want us to ask you nothing and she was like you can ask me literally
anything she didn't even ask to like listen to the podcast but she wasn't bothered she is that
authentic do you know what i mean lauren like when i say that it's just this is why i never listen to
our records because i'm just like i said what i said and she's very she's just she was just so
open yeah and she's got a lot you know she's famous she could you know she's got a brand she's
famous she huge huge so the fact that she just like she's friends with shania twain that's really
fucking saying something that is but she was lovely her skin was the best skin i've ever seen
yeah there was no go as far as saying that i would say she obviously looks after her skin but i also
think she's got she's got good skin like there was no stays out of the sun you can tell she was
so pale but in like a nice way yeah um just lovely kind do you know what i liked about her
she was very dry and very calm she wasn't like an excited puppy like us she was just very she just
was like and she's so intelligent very intelligent like whenever she spoke i listened she didn't
speak loudly she just she was just honestly guys lovely and when we chatted to her she did something
that i wish i could do and i'll tell you who else does that sally hughes it's like they've thought
about what they say before it comes out like very quickly yeah but very quickly so like the answer
was very i can't explain and i guess maybe from years of tv you do that whereas we're like and
yeah and she just it just all came out really eloquently yeah um and she talked to us about
surgery everything um i could we could have sat for ages couldn't we lovely lady and then like
afterwards we've texted her since i texted her this morning to say thank you again and she was
just like how are you getting on and just yeah really she's our friend now i think we're friends
and next time she's in manchester after you've had the baby yeah you are coming yeah i want to
come to your show i want to see her afterwards yeah i feel like she's our friend her new podcast
is out and she had joanne mcnally on it i'm yet to listen i've never seen joanne mcnally in the
flesh she's gorgeous and she didn't look i don't know what i expected her glittery outfit yeah i've
never so i saw the clip and that's and i thought oh is that joanne mcnally you know you just hear
her voice she didn't i don't know what i expected i think she's really pretty really nice and again
glowy skin very glowy and she's very funny very funny what more could you want than funny with
glowy skin no but that's the if someone says what do you want to be when you're older i want to be
funny with glowy skin oh my god and pale that is life goals yeah yeah loved it so guys the support
as well do you know what this morning i just checked my insta and so many people have messaged
like girls this is massive so proud of you like it's it's lovely so thank you everyone she was
she was bloody lovely and i really liked her right now what seen as we're recapping we have got to
talk about the fucking the bleffs oh my god what that clip that clip has haunted i think i wouldn't
be surprised if that clip doesn't get picked up by press that clip so let's talk about it all
so you'll have probably heard it if not you need to go back and listen i brought up two episodes
ago was it two ago yeah so i brought up the fact that one of my ladies who does treatments for me
had told me about this lady who does backstreet bluffs we were calling it and basically hasn't
got a proper license in this country is a surgeon in another country but hasn't here
and we were questioning where it's done what the legislation whether it was safe or what
and all it was about really christina had some strong opinion yeah christina was like which is
good because we all need different sometimes we're a bit like yeah and she said listen these people
are risking their lives they're like to do this so anyway we had a really good convo about it and
i knew that it would get picked up in a bit of clickbait i did not expect the comment the response
what i will say is people were butthurt they were took it fucking personally yeah and also i feel
like some of our podcast clips which we'll talk about in a second yeah a lot of triggers people
and obviously guys rage bait rage bait and clickbait is huge of course we what we pay for
our social clips yes to drive traffic towards the podcast of course we're going to put certain ones
out so there's been two the one about the doing drugs one oh yes we'll talk about that after but
we need to talk about blefgate and listen guys we're not slagging off if if you've everyone was
raised to war and you've had the blefs done in the carpeted room and they look good great you
survived well done well done you've got and you're happy and you got it up with 300 quid
very jealous amazing good on you people would just angry anxiety couldn't so i don't go i've
said it a million times i don't go on tiktok and i don't read our tiktok comments a few reasons
number one um the horrible and somebody put does she do tongue reductions my lisp is not because
of my tongue size but you know people are so triggered and you know what did annoy me a bit
there was people on there right we are grown women yeah saying don't be a grass and i i actually got
we haven't grassed no and i i got i don't normally reply but i've had a few arguments on there
oh lauren no because i just thought don't i'll tell you what it triggered me i think you go into
a hole on tiktok where i'll go on it sporadically yeah and like i won't check the comments for ages
and then i'll go on it and because i always like to look because some of our videos from lower down
go like quite viral yeah yeah and it's good to see and i'm glad you do it but i don't but insta i do
um because it's a little bit tamer but what triggered me something in in these women saying
don't be a grass don't be a snitch triggered something in me and i feel like it was maybe
some high school bullying type thing where you don't grass and something triggered me so these
girls got a reply and i was like are we in a firm like if i was like don't be a grass are we in a
firm like it triggered something in me where girls i don't know if it was like an old bullying thing
where then you'd be like well you don't grass well yeah if you treat if you do something to
me i will go to the police i'm not a drug dealer and i'm not a criminal so if you come and do
something to my house i'll ring the police and if that means i'm the grass then i will be i'm a 30
odd year old i'm not a man in this is our city is ours and they're like don't be a grass i was like
sorry what like i'm a 30 odd year old mom you don't tell me if i want a grass i'll fucking grass
and that triggered me and there was this one woman and she would not stop going and then she'd say
something really nice to me and then she'd go again and then she'd go again and everyone that
replied she'd reply and i actually said god you're on my notifications all day get off this
um loads of people have used the sound as well yeah so then again don't go on tiktok so i haven't
looked at i haven't looked at one of them not one of them because it gives me so people were either
dming them us or messaging them us and i get it they're saying like oh my god have you seen your
voice and i haven't clicked on on one of them but it was women dead smug like yeah well i got great
i don't care i didn't know it wasn't it wasn't like i was just saying like him and we said it's
we're all grown-ups you can do whatever you want we do like it's fine oh my god and then people
were really smug like yeah well i got mine that they're in the great cool here's a badge you don't
even follow me you don't great oh i was thinking just really pissing me off oh great go and get
them done fab and then people what really was annoying me as well is people kept saying well
this this backfired on yeah everyone wants a number how did it backfire on me i don't care
whether she gets a million fucking people clients that's on her this wasn't for me to stop this
woman it was just a chat and if you want to go and have surgery but one thing i will say
did piss me off is another thing a lot of the people right that we're talking on there were
aesthetic people you know lips now you're the first people right when sally down the road sets
up and starts doing lips and hasn't got much experience you are the first people to start
saying there needs to be better legislations in the aesthetics industry we've got people we've
got people who've never done a half a day course and they're going putting filler in lips right
they're saying that one minute then these exact people are jumping on and going well doesn't
really matter because she had training in vietnam and listen you can't slag people off for doing
botox after a one day course and then be okay with blefs in a fucking chippy you can't do that
So that was winding up.
There was one, she was a semi-permanent makeup artist.
They probably used the meat in the kebabs downstairs.
Yeah.
And she was a semi-permanent makeup artist.
And I am convinced that if someone down the road
started doing semi-permanent eyebrows
and they were making a mess of people.
No, or even in their lounge or whatever.
You'd be like, don't go there.
You don't get your nails done there.
Well, it's like that girl's had so much shit
for doing her friend's lips in the car.
Have you seen that?
but they're all right with with someone cutting skin off anyway and listen i don't give a and i
think also i think people think we care much more like cut your fucking lids off i'm gonna get your
labia done one thing i did learn from it that really made me laugh is someone called a labia
a vagina squirrel and i loved it she was put they're doing squirrels as well vagina i love
does she do that too she said she said apparently you can get your squirrel done and i just thought
the word squirrel for vagina is fantastic yeah but yeah i mean i don't know but it went it went
big it went big and it's still going and it's great for us so yeah cool um other thing the
drugs one the drugs one you got a message about that didn't yeah and i kind of get it and i'm
fine with it so basically we did one and again the this is the thing with the clips when people
watch the clips they watch a little bit of it seconds if that and they don't know what was
said before and what was said after and as Ashley said there's a reason for that because the more
people that get enraged by it or the more people that have an opinion it drives our engagement
people then go and listen to the pod we know what social media is about but what can happen with
that is people can also get the wrong end of the stick with certain conversations and I appreciate
that and it's fine so I've I got a couple of messages and I had one this morning from a lady
she wasn't being mean or rude in any way she just said that she felt like that particular clip where
where condoning drug use could have been we could have encouraged we need to think about people that
are looking up to us and are we encouraging them and saying that drug use is fine which I got so
first I replied to her and said have you listened to the episode well no she hadn't fine and then
what I said is we were asked a question and the question was would you would we our opinion go
mad if our partner had done drugs I think it's like a handful of times what would you do now
this podcast is about us being honest and truthful we could have sat here and said absolutely not
would have gone mental drugs are for mugs guys be careful yeah this is right we could have said
that yeah and that would have been more pc it would have probably been more acceptable to people
but it would have been a lie because that's not what we actually thought yeah so what i said in
my reply was whilst i agree i understand what you're saying if we start censoring our genuine
opinions then what is the point in the podcast anymore and we're not going to be stopped
slobbering and we will not be stopped and we did carry on which wasn't on the clip of course to say
if this is causing a problem if this is and it triggers you then you make that choice but you've
asked me what my opinion is and i won't censor my opinion because if we start doing that then
the podcast is vanilla well alex cooper got a lot of shit because she did that episode where she
went on a night out and took MDMA that's brave that is brave because she's well famous so that's
fucking brave but also everyone loves her because she is who she is who she is and I think she got
like a few brand deals like well I bet she did because that's because that that is that is quite
that's I was saying we don't mind our boyfriends if if they did I'm not saying even ours do they
don't but what I was just saying is it wasn't a mega deal to me um you know we don't take drugs
our partners don't take drugs it was just a kind of a we're not bothered like what we weren't that
bothered by it she actually went on cam but she did the drugs and said it yeah have you listened
to that episode i think yes i really like it um i found it highly enjoyable i think yeah this week's
been quite hard like i've got quite a lot of shit i've had a bit of a shit time recently
and i feel like i'm constantly thinking should i be saying this or should i be doing that and
can i trust this person can i trust that person can i say that like an article came out yesterday
um and they took quotes from three a podcast three that was really weird that was weird as
and they'd done an article it was just really weird they'd done an article really weirdly put
about your bum implants but it's just weird because we've not spoken about them for a long
time it was very the undertone wasn't very nice in the article and it was very misogynistic
i don't notice stuff like that i feel like you pick up on stuff like that and i don't i just
read it as like talking about your arse and surgery i didn't know but then you you deep dive
more with undertones like i don't so i was just like but what i didn't understand is why out of
nowhere from three years ago were they taking quotes like or was it just that they were all
in the office and someone said have you seen this girl and she thought oh that'll be good
but what i'm going back to tell us rachine she was called rachine tell us um basically
us having this podcast and like lauren said we always are constantly evolving we're learning as
well yeah and it's a bit scary that people can quote us from years ago four years ago you know
like our opinions change and stuff but you've had that much nad plus that you've probably got a full
new so it's full new cells by honestly we're new people by now so yeah it's um but social media is
wild i think the best thing we can take from this and i do think we do this is we listen to opinion
if we're wrong or we've changed our opinion we'll say but i think we should continue to still i
wouldn't change my opinion on the blef thing no no i don't change it and i don't change it on like i
I think we just have to stick to what we truly think at that time one of our friends messaged
me about it and I did feel I think I feel like everyone thought we were being really bitchy and
we literally weren't we were discussing a matter and it's quite it's quite serious like we so what
she said was my friend has had a her eyes and a face done I would never you know go there because
of the risk symbol but she looks great and she's really happy and she's going back for more stuff
and i was like i totally get it and we're not bitching about this because i think people did
think we were i went but lauren had a really serious infection on her eye and i lived that
with lauren that was honestly lauren that was one of the worst things and that was done under
a clinical in a hospital in a hospital and it actually i don't think it was the surgeon or
the hospital's fault but it's my fault probably with the aftercare however i got an infection
and it was terrible so serious um we'll put the picture on patreon my uh we've spoken right before
my eye completely closed over like i could have lost my fucking eye and when it got to that point
where i was i was ringing lauren and i was like i don't think you understand it's your eye here's a
list of eye surgeons or i was like i was like yeah it's pretty bad yeah and i was like mate
you need to go and see someone what's he called with the hey you guys like that oh no it was
we're gonna put the picture on patreon it was it was really bad you were on like i was in agony
antibiotics everything and i got really sad i had to keep going to hospital and have an iv
it was it was really bad to be honest yeah and i feel like lost my eye you know someone commented
on it this thing and we're gonna wrap this bit up in a second rambled on about it and they said
you know everyone's jumping in here saying it's great but when someone dies you'll all be jumping
on the well it was i said i said to one i replied to one of the people saying what about the bum
implant the bum filler guy yeah who um the woman died in the end now if someone had died that was
in the same like almost similar something was perhaps not done right and my thought on it was
and everyone was jumping on that exactly but before that if we'd have done a thing saying
oh there's a guy doing filler quite cheap everyone would have probably been jumping on like well let
us have it done then all right fine go and have it done but then when the person died will everyone
be saying something different then do you know what i mean and it was just a fucking chat anyway
also can i just say something while we're on the cosmetic surgery topic please guys don't do
biostimulators i've please so that's tell us tell us the normal words for that sculpture sculpture
do you know what's really concerning the results look great yeah but it's so bad for you i've seen
though right because i know this from you in all honesty and then you sending me surgeons in
americans of talking about it so that's how the only reason i know quite a few people that i know
follow and respect as injectors and some of them are doctors are doing it yeah so like is that just
sculpture is a biostimulator so basically it will like knit all i had it in my ass yeah tissue
together did it go lumpy yes right and that was in your ass which has got a lot many years ago
met 15 years ago just be cautious when approaching this treatment guys you do you but a word of
advice sculpture is going to be the next threads in the press with people having issues facial
surgeons will not touch you if you admit to having a biostimulator biostimulators where it like makes
your tissue like produce which we think we want right yeah but then the way in which this surgeon
dr nyack did a video about it who is the top right facial plastic surgeon and he said layers of the
face are like opening a book right so if you have face tight jaw tight biostimulators really high
intensity radio frequency or think of it like frying a piece of bacon the bacon is big it goes
small yeah you will get a tightening effect great however when it comes to trying to open your book
as in your facelift your fat move your muscle the nerves layer by layer you can't do it they're
melted together melted together right so that for everyone that keeps asking there's an explanation
for you um and look at dr nyack and he has done well do you know what whenever you send them to
me i mean to save them because people often say why do you think yeah and i mean to just send it
to them because and then again with threads you know they'll open you up and it's like the thread
it's got nerves wrapped around and oh just awful ouch they'll they need to get banned but things
just seem to be popping up now and i get why we're trying them because one of the things i'm really
struggling with at the minute because i don't know the answer is people one of the big big questions
asked on patreon is what can i do about my double chin and my jowls and i feel like a dick because
i just reply saying nothing because everything that you can do comes with a bit of a risk and
i guess it's just assessing whether it's bothering you that much at this moment in time that you
think the time from sculpture is gonna help make me happy for now and that's on you isn't it yeah
100 right so update on life lauren your waters oh that's embarrassing so what happened at the
weekend is this on saturday i woke up and i had your wet the bed i think so i'd been fast fast
asleep and i'd done away i think and it woke me up and there was a small patch on the bed and i
was like oh piss myself that's embarrassing weird because i don't really wean myself pelvic floor
is pretty good anyway forgot about it i thought weird what happened though when i was pregnant
with thea i did the same thing and when i went in they said it was my waters but they weren't sure
so i was a bit like anyway then the next morning what actually happened which i didn't say and i
didn't tell no for god's sake because it's quite embarrassing is i did my morning fart right so i
pushed my morning fart out and with the morning fart came a gush came a gush and and was it a gush
a gush and i was half asleep and james was well woke james up with the morning fart um but the
pressure i pushed the morning fart out so i pushed did the fart and went oh straight after it got up
stood up no knickers on i was really disorientated because i didn't have my contacts in and if
anybody wears glasses you'll understand that you just i hate that yeah it's like i can't explain
i was like whoa and then i could feel this water coming down my legs right big we big we um and
james then jumps up no knickers on no knickers on why because i'd taken them off when i did the
initial so i'm stood there i can't see and i could feel water trickling down my legs and it was to
the floor it was on the floor this wasn't like i wasn't exaggerating squirts so then james is up
and he's naked and his hair's everywhere he's all disorientated and i'm going i can't see something's
coming out and he obviously thinks our waters have gone he's going it's fine i think your waters have
gone and he's like this trying to find the light switch and we can't see anything and then he's
going it's fat calm down i'm good ah it's too early so then he looks and it was it was down
my legs it wasn't just like a and it was like have you ever got out the bath and the water
comes out your vagina it was like that it wasn't like a wee like clear it was clear and it was
like you know when you can't it squirts out so that's why i thought shit yeah well listen you're
in the end bit and to be honest at any point guys the nhs are amazing they were really good yeah
they were really good you should if you're concerned about anything go to triage so i'm
looking and i got my contacts in and it was quite clear i really don't think i think it was we think
it was probably some discharge mixed with me um so anyway up i get and we're like right i said this
is the second time now because what can happen is you can get a tear in your membrane doesn't mean
your waters have gone there's a tear in the membrane and it can pool and then when you stand
up it can leak out so i thought i need to just check this like i'm taking the piss if i don't
going out twice this has happened so we rang them and they were so nice and she was like listen
sounds like your waters you know she said so let's get you in half did you put a pad in
no because it didn't happen again that was it yeah but they always because when i actually
didn't say that to myself they said put a pad in because we can test well she tested me internally
yeah so she booked me in she was really really and it didn't happen again um and then i went in
and she examined me and put a what are they actually called speculum what did i call it
spectrum spectrum oh my god the amount of people that replied to that i was like okay i've said
it wrong like cheers hope you feel better about correcting me um yeah but you can got loads of
people replying i was like thank you cool anyway so they put it up and opened my vagina as wide as
you know how they do and james was at the top end and he's like can i have a look oh no and i was
like if you want and the lady's like come see come look if you want so he's at the bottom of it
and you've got piles now i've got pipe we'll talk about that beef curtains are hanging out yeah
anyway he had a look and he looked at my cervix he said i've seen your cervix i was like well
you never touched it your alien's head um and he said it was open a tiny bit and they were having
a little look and i didn't care like fucking hell when you've had a baby you don't care and she
swabbed it and she came back and she was so nice and she was just like babes it's not waters i was
like oh awkward but because we'd gone in thinking if it is waters they're not letting me back out
again no yeah you can get an infection so i had to ring his mum i had to ring the boys we had to
tell the boys mum just listen just in case yeah we had to ring my mum and say keep thea which meant
i had well there's a lot of logistics involved in the adams yeah which also means there's a lot of
people you then have to ring and tell that you pissed yourself so it was like yeah no all good
all good what so everything's all right yeah yeah it wasn't a waters so she's pissed herself
get embarrassed about stuff um but he she said that she thinks it was a mixture of discharge
and we nice and tell us about your pile so i knew they were coming i knew they would get you
so this is how i noticed so when we decided we were going in the hospital i thought i'm gonna
have to shave this growler because it's fucking disgusting and i thought if i'm staying in it
needs shaving so they thought i thought the best way to it would be to squat in the bath
now the squatting position yeah brings them out whilst a head is now engaged in your area
i am tapping around because i can't see to find where i need to shave and i found this
thing and it was hanging out of my ass that's good that it's not hurting you not yet and it's
quite big and so i texted i'm like literally squatted down i'm texting ashley saying i think
i've got a pile because ashley is you know we know pile expert and then i put my phone on selfie mode
under my arsehole and took a picture and sent her a picture of my arsehole with a pile hanging out
and she confirmed it was indeed quite a big pile so then later on that night um james pushed it
back up for me because i've got these nails i can't get my finger up my arse without ripping it
but you need to so he did it he used the cream and the one that i told you yeah and he promised
me he wouldn't but he did i said just put a bit of cream on it and while he was up there the little
bastard went popped it up and i jumped a mile um but the funny thing is you need to keep pushing
them back i can't he's gonna have to do it i've got these nails i've got long nails i'd still be
able to it hurts so um the funny thing was i was at the post office yesterday and i was in the queue
with everyone and i was texting ashley about something and then i had to pay it had to speak
to her so i put my phone face up on our chat and my arsehole was just there like the picture was
just there and everyone was around me and i just put it face up and it was very embarrassing uh
but yeah so i've got piles i've weed myself nice i get my c-section date on monday don't tell
i'm not gonna because i don't trust anybody evil eye evil eye keep everything close but yeah so
i'm really excited for that because then i feel like i can plan all my appointments all my post
appointments like yeah you need to be my lymphatic my um oxygen that's why i think a c-section for
me because i'm such a control freak and i'm so organized yeah i had a real freak out when i
thought the baby was coming i realized i've i've hadn't prepared anything and it really freaked me
listen i'll give you this advice amazon exists i know and you can get anything you just want it
all right no i agree but what i'm saying is worst case you're fine and then you can lie in bed and
everyone will feel sorry for you and set it all up well my friends were like when i said to my
friends i'm going in they were like right what do you need i thought oh this is quite nice yeah
quite enjoying this and do you know what i wasn't adverse to a few days bed rest
like two three weeks not good no um but yeah so i'm at the stage now where i'm just getting
everything ready i get my date on monday i'm really excited to get my date it might come earlier
but as long as i'm prepared which is what i'm doing this week yeah and that's it and then i
had this other part my other my only the slight worry which is what happened to my friend is she
went into natural labor she had a c-section book a certain amount of centimeters they don't so they
they took her down so she had one booked went in she's in labor waters had gone and she's like no
no no because she was petrified kim she's got no no i've got a section books i've got a section
booked and they're like can't fit you in there's emergencies in and she's dilating and she's
thinking this fuck is what am i gonna do and they were like we'll fit you in as soon as we can
they checked her she was six centimeters yeah and they were like we need to got her down but if no
one's there to do it you're not getting it done it's coming out the fanny it's off so she went
down and when they examined her just before they opened it she was eight centimeters so she was on
the so that's my only concern but aside from that i think i'll be fine um but yeah so that's my gory
update now let's talk about your passport oh my god the girls on patreon know about the passport
because we've been talking about the passport for ages so i'm going to dubai on friday what did you
just think fuck it i need a break i need a break i have not been on holiday without the kids for
years yeah you just needed a break i'm going on my own i'm going to see my sister i'm flying
business
oh lovely
I've never done it before
have you not
never
never been to Dubai
before either
oh my god
have you
oh you're gonna love it
oh you are
so I'm only going for
three nights
so I'm getting the
night flight on Friday
so you need business
and I'll be home
for recording on Wednesday
you will love it
you'll love it
do you think
so we've booked
I'm going out with
Sophie and
Naomi on Saturday
great
have a fucking great time
we're going to like
this brunch thing
so they're my two of my best friends and they're there at the minute and i'm like oh yeah i know
they're giving me phone and they keep sending me pictures of them in bikinis and i'm like
hope you're having a great time my nipples oh my god we've got so much to talk about right so
tell me about dubai and the passport so basically last time i flew to somewhere the lady put a
sticker on my passport picture page right so then someone at the thing ripped the sticker off and it
ripped um not like a you saw the picture didn't you how would you like a graze a graze of my
passport on this on the page anyway i put a picture in patty and i was like guys you might have been
fine it's not worth the risk is it no so especially when like my diary's so busy and i
you've paid all that money especially business like fuck that so i put a picture on and i'd say
90 of people like yeah risky risky and one of the girls said she used to work for passport or
airport or something and she was like you won't get through with this so you don't go on holiday
a lot you won't have come across you won't have anything shit shit so i was crying oh my god
Because I rang the passport office and I was like, it's not a rip, it's a this.
And the woman was like, just calm down.
And she was like, listen, babe, I can't tell you.
What would advise us?
Yeah, they're not gonna.
She was like, book in an appointment for your local passport office and go from there.
Right.
And I was like, but it's the four day week.
And she was like, I can't.
I bet she was literally sat there eating a crisp.
Yeah.
Fuck off.
And I was just like, and she was lovely, bless.
But, and I got through really quickly actually.
So I'm crying and it's like 6pm.
I go on my computer and there's an appointment for like the next day at 10 past eight in
Liverpool so I'm like scrambling to get this appointment and then Ed walks through the
door and I'm like to take a picture and he's like oh it's just coming from work and then
he's like no you'll be fine and I'm like but no the girl's on Patreon and then there's
an appointment at 10 past eight in the morning and you need to just and if you don't hurry
up now i'm gonna lose the appointment i bet you i bet he was literally like yeah
just come in for a long a long day at work yeah so i'm like crying and my eyes are so
your eyes look very dark yes because i've been crying when i saw it i thought
i posted the picture on patreon it's i look about 100 years forever now for till 2035 people are
literally getting muas for the passport picture and that's yours we spoke about it so i was like
oh my god so anyway so then went to liverpool passport office thank god young lad yeah um
and wink wink nudge nudge um i was like look and he was like right so listen up girlies he said did
you get a letter off the airline who did this or when it happened and i was like no and he was like
always ask for if anything happens to your passport at the airport because loads of girls
on patreon were saying like ink off a boarding pass went on theirs like i think that's okay it's
a rip isn't it or a tear that's no anything any marks any marks well they should make this a little
bit more clear yeah so he was like basically if so if anyone damages your passport then say to
them i need a letter about this now because he said i could have given you a same day passport
if they'd admitted they admitted yeah right and they would have had to pay for it or whatever
that's interesting fucking 220 quid and a shit picture anyway so then i was like i need it
and i'm the girls on patreon were like say someone's died i don't do bad karma i can't
i'm shit at lying well i normally say probably die i normally say um my dad's died because he
has oh that's a good idea i just don't say when uh so i would have literally like i would have
literally like honestly and then my dad died i didn't say when that's that's good you could
always say my friend you can use my dad whenever you need to my friend's dad died yeah okay um
so anyway he was like right i'll try my best to get it back to you so they processed it got a text
the next morning your passport's on the way lovely i love good service and then and we pay for good
are you ready for this so um my pa holly was like sorting it all out because i was like i'm too
much too much so she had it delivered to my local delivery office which is knoxford oh god
so off i go saturday morning because it was bank holiday on the friday oh it's the bank holiday
i'll get there no no no one home sign on the door that it closed a year ago
i was like what no so then i rang the passport office again and i was like you've delivered it
to someone that is extra like no the woman susan and patricia patricia you lovely lady
ashley calm down it's okay i'm going to ring the manager i was on my way home i was crying my eyes
out again because it was bank holiday on monday a lot of tears then she rings me back hiya hon
if you drive to the delivery office and go around the back yeah a man will meet you with your
passport i was like that is above and beyond service and i thought they could have been like
what a lovely lady they could have literally just been like sorry it'll come on monday tuesday
it still could be in you know what i really appreciate good service like that i really do
at my co-op in mobily there's a lovely boy that works there and he's always so like
lovely yeah and i appreciate that and i and that's why i go to co-op well i must say i
wouldn't work with the public much because i don't like it we've spoken about yeah so i think
when people do and they truly want to help it's lovely the passport office or an airport that's
really stressful one of the worst jobs yeah i bet it is so i appreciate the people that really do
like when i went in the passport office it was like a war zone like there was people screaming
there was people crying everyone was like because it's travels quite like people are traveling
because people have died as well like people or people seeing parents or yeah it makes you go a
little bit wild doesn't it for sure so anyway that was the passport drama but i had a very very
fruitful week in business so um look fantastic invited me to speak on their skin expert panel
sorry can we just close this i'll post a picture as she's talking something just caught my eye
like a magpie she's got a little makeup bag a makeup bag and it's all mini so she's got a makeup
bag and i just something just caught my eye and it was the um yeah so it was the sisley rose mask
which i've got in the big size fucking expensive and i just saw that you've got a mini because i
got a lot of the advents and then i've made a mini out of the space nk mini makeup bag why is that in
your like every day though is this not a matter can we talk about these dior lip glosses no she's
got a bag full of like mini mini stuff and it's really cute it's really cute that's cute the
and you need the charlotte tilbury mini powder look at that oh really cute anyway sorry i was
distracted so i went to london and had a really amazing day of speaking um on like a panel of
skin experts dr david jack was there saw him next year was there there was another lady who's a
dermatologist who works alongside helio care oh like helio care were there the girls from there
and i said lauren and i talk we talk all the time it's what it's reasonable we talk a lot about
well she's given me her details good so she should and we genuinely love them and we genuinely yeah
i really like them for ages um so i had a really good time there and i saw loads of other gorgeous
girls that we know you saw sydney didn't you sydney was there she looked amazing she's fantastic
um tell us what you would like did you have to prepare beforehand were you nervous what was it
what was your input what was like so i think i can say this now can you i can yeah go on then
my product's launching in look fantastic how amazing is that in actual look fantastic i know
so it's been have you got a date for this launch yet because no that's annoying i'm gonna confirm
i'm gonna message sarah right after what i squinting because i'm like
i need to know if you want to come i do and i want it in my diary so i can prepare perfect
um so yeah so i've been working with them and um amazing honestly so happy to be invited to speak
alongside those icons but we're speaking a lot about like um what they because a lot of them had
like their own clinics so david jack and sarah chapman and the dermatologist sorry i'll remember
a name at some point there's a lot of names and they've all got their own clinics and we're
speaking a lot about that and what treatments they'd advise for certain things and honestly
got me thinking about how proud i am of the product that i've made because it treats so many
things at home in an affordable way because i was looking at these some of the girls there and it
was like how much is that it's like two thousand pounds and also do you know what when i used to
had my skin clinic um there was one lady that used to come in and always book an extra 20 minutes
onto the end of her treatment to put her makeup back on and i got to the point where she would
leave without a makeup on after four or five visits and she was like got so emotional with
me and she was like i couldn't even walk to my car with no makeup on skin is huge it is and they
were saying that there's such a rise in acne in adult acne yeah food stress but the the topic of
spf was huge so look fantastic actually are doing so many good things with spf they've uh taken the
vat off there's vat on spf really like so one of the doctors that was saying don't you think it's
so well i just did an edit with them when i was on holiday with all my favorite spfs yeah and
really good discounts yeah yeah so they've taken 20 off because they are taking it to parliament
and they're my friend lily that works here was telling me all this um and they're gonna say if
you could find a cure for cancer would you put fat on it no you wouldn't know and that's spf
we're seeing now so many um melanomas yeah there's a girl called stephy who i follow and then she's
a fashion influencer and she's shared her journey about some skin teddy melon camp oh god ryan and
what david jack said this statistic which are published in my patreon blog he said something
like over a five-year period they put two people next to each other one wore spf and one didn't
and the one that wore spf his skin hadn't aged wow well have you ever seen have you ever seen
the picture of like the lorry driver the lorry driver the arm the lady yeah one side for some
reason of a face so basically spf is so so key and i know i spoke about you know if you do find
it hard to put spf on that kosis primer with the spf 50 and the girls just as much as you can sold
out ever i will say one thing it does make your eyes bit weepy which you've got sensitive eyes
though really sensitive eyes um but i love the garnier tans as well you know in the spray bottle
yeah the little tiny ones and there's one that you can put on over makeup they're really good
the ones that i spoke about were la roche-posay there's they've got a lovely spray and ultra sun
as well they have one that goes over actually feels like it sets your makeup touch as well
um coco and eve water one is really good i've used that yeah 50 but there's loads now my go-to
is either helio care or skinceuticals skinceuticals is nice as well because you don't want to clog
your pores but i do think i do think that companies are now getting better at spf that's good for you
because spf used to clog your pores and also when you use your makeup and it's like it's got spf
no no no like no no you need to be wearing your spf even ashley's done a blog on it on patreon but
if you're not on there it basically says even if you are just going to the office even if you are
just driving in the car even if it's not sunny even in the house even it is constant the rays
are dangerous all the time and go and get your moles checked so that's after baby one of my i
would like to find a good place where you can go and they'll just scan your whole body that's what
katherine had i swear um emma milton i swear she put something up recently about a clinic where you
go we need to do some research and they go and they just scan your whole body and then you go
back a year later and they scan you again it needs to be an easy process for people because people
are busy and you're trying to get in with your gp and they're not going to sit there with a
magnifying glass so you need somewhere and i believe there is places so girls let us know
where you will go and they will quick efficient easy because we're not that time i thought you
were busy people people are busy now so you've got to go get it done quick easy i think it's
called the mole clinic well that's a great that's a great name uh but we'll let you know actually
we'll do so after the baby let's research that talking of products yes and i've actually got
a bottle for you for your birthday thanks when i got home after my passport drama
my case of lorna lux's rosé had arrived yes so it's called ghost and this bottle is beautiful
by lady a no i'm not even really good it's exquisite is it it's one of the best so wasted
on me i tried to go on to reorder it again but i don't know if it's sold out i need to order
another case of it it was actually quite reasonable i think i paid 120 quid for six
bottles so what's that 20 quid a bottle that's like whispering angel i think that's okay yeah
for a treat and the oh my gosh you was it really nice yes is it true that you feel less
shit after it would you notice or i just feel shit all the time all the time yeah i'm just
constantly pissed constantly pissed but i love the but i obviously haven't drank it but i love
the bottle i've seen influencers posting it i've seen you post it i've seen lauren it's really nice
It looks really good, so I'm looking forward to it.
Because Whispering Angel is a bit of a headbanger.
Yeah.
I mean, I'm not a wine connoisseur, but...
I like Minuti, and it's quite similar to Minuti.
Perhaps in the garden, in the summer,
when the baby's out of my body.
Yeah, it's very dry, with a nice big ice cube.
No Sprite, no Sprite, no lemonade.
And a little bit of Sprite.
No.
No?
No.
Okay.
Anyway, I will put Sprite in it.
Patreon, Book Club has started.
oh yes tell us about that because you started that yeah are you proud really proud because
I'll be honest I'm not a book I'm not going to pretend I'm something I am not I won't read books
I don't read books I'm not interested in them maybe when I was younger oh my god I loved reading
like Thea, Thea's a bookworm but now no so because of that Ashley has taken over and I have literally
let her do it and I thought is this going to come to fruition is it when I said I'd do a blog every
sunday and didn't is it gonna be like that um because we you know i've been really good recently
i go on there all the time i reply to everyone all day every day but do i do a blog every sunday
like i said i would do i thought the videos are really easy to upload and i've just bought one
of the car things oh that i like that when you drive do you know what i would i've got one
record but i didn't know what was legal and what wasn't so is it legal no i'm asking to press
record then set off driving and chat while you drive then pull over and stop and turn it off
i'm guessing when i'm driving a lot of stuff comes in my mind that i could easily chat about
i could easily do like but i don't know what's legal so i don't upload anything so tell us about
the book club can we call it something and we feel like it should have a better name than
let's if anyone can think of a book club name let us know um this week is our first week and
um a lovely girl called paris and me message each other and she writes up a book sorry she writes
up a blog and says like right guys it was an introduction to her who she was and then it was
like this is the book that i've chosen this week and it's freedom mcfadden ward d now the freedom
mcfadden books i have read three of them but i didn't know there's about five um the housemaid
do you remember when i said to you you need to listen to the house mood i feel like honestly
incredible book incredible book so um ward d is the one that she's picked and weirdly it was 50
off on amazon so it was a fiver the book and everyone's got involved everyone looked keen
yeah so in two weeks time paris is gonna do a review of the book so what what is a book club
i might sound really but what is it so so what happens so paris is the the moderator yeah so
does she talk about the book after i don't get it i actually don't understand can you explain to us
for people like me that may not actually understand what a book club is so she'll review the book and
be like this bit i thought and her take on it opens up a conversation and then other people say
oh i thought this about the book and then she'll say like right we enjoyed that what do we want
next i like a bit of this i like a bit of that and then they all will pick the new book and that's it
and everybody reads the same book at the same time and then discusses what they thought about
the book so is it kind of like when we talked about telly programs exactly telly programs
like on the telly yeah but reading yeah right cool i love that also can i just say i'm so proud
of patreon it made me want to cry yesterday when i saw that the london girls have got a whatsapp
chat don't leave patreon they'll still give us your like we still because we need you your input
yeah we need all your advice i love that i love that because especially if you've like i don't
know you're single or you've relocated to a new city and you know we're like-minded girlies here
and nip tuck yeah so you know you're gonna meet nice people so back to the book club just really
really quickly are we gonna make a chat for book club we're gonna ask you right yeah because so
then if you want to join the book club all you need to do is go on the chat and it's there when
it's there find out what people are reading get the book but you'll get a notification when we do
a post as well like when i send the post out also can i just say some of the bargains that the girls
send it on patreon yeah did you see that 100g what's the thing costume that was an error that
was an error so it's a 100g costume for a tenner on selfridges that was an error loads of girls
i tried to order it they wouldn't even fit either of my kids but i just thought 10 100g yeah put in
the present put in the i just and i went on you're rich it wouldn't let me it wouldn't let me buy it
i think they must have i must have been a bit late to the party but yeah yeah some of the bargains
that have been flying ground in there very helpful and you pop your dh gates on there sometimes
yeah did you see that skims one yes the only thing is i'm not of a body type right obviously
being pregnant right now to wear them so i'm gonna let you order see the quality and then
a bit tight i'm not sure if it's a bit tight until i'm a bit more we should start doing a fence finds
review chat as well so there's a girl on tiktok i don't know because i don't obviously
But there's a girl that people have mentioned,
and I think I went on her Insta, actually,
and I think she may have a blog, and she does that.
She orders all the fence finds and then reviews them.
How fucking good is that?
Because sometimes you think,
oh, can I be arsed with it being a shitter?
We got off fence finds recently.
Sorry, I'm just having a tightening pain.
Sorry, I...
okay right let's go to the bonus okay bye guys
