Nip Tuck - Getting That Blue Tick D*ck

Episode Date: November 2, 2022

Lauren's had some very alarming news... Her daughters teacher listens to the podcast! Guess that explains all the dodgy looks she has been getting from the other parents. The girls also share some of their dating stories including a few celebs, jealous partners and meeting the bf's mates for the first time. Trying to impress them by downing pints didn't go down well for poor Lauren. Literally!To get involved with the show, you can send us a DM on Instagram and TikTok, find us @niptuckpod. Or you can email [e-mail] can send us your Icks & Dilemma's via WhatsApp! You can text or voice note the girls on [phone]Our GDPR privacy policy was updated on August 8, 2022. Visit acast.com/privacy for more information. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

hi you guys and welcome to nip tuck and not giving a but this is the podcast where we celebrate being positive aspirational sexy wonderful independent classy wow funny real women with clean hair uncensored my hair's not clean today this is all about being unapologetically yourself Lauren what we sold out the brunch sold out

our brunch sold out our brunch sold out it sold out every ticket we said put out there it's gone in less than like

two days less than two it's like 30 hours 30 hours so everyone that was thinking about coming well the ones that were

actually on it straight away have got the tickets and they're coming dedicated we're so excited I can't can you actually believe

that that's happened I feel like how nice that everyone's done that for us I know I'm excited and we're planning it at the minute

and it is going to be amazing mega it's going to be so much fun people were asking about like how to dress and stuff yeah dress how the fuck you like

yeah I will be going to town I'm dressing up I'm dressing up I I'm going this is my prom

let's go I'm going in a ball gown Rochdale Miss Rochdale oh my god it's Miss Rochdale again I am oh I'm going to come back on stage Miss Charity yeah I'm going to

it's my Christmas night out so i'm getting dressed up one of those fucking sherry hill yeah i'm gonna be dressing up but you don't have to wear whatever you want but yeah i i will be i was gonna do like a trainer vibe but then lauren was like no no it's a christmas brunch it's the it's your christmas do it's our christmas it's our christmas do so and then should we go after we're going out after we're going after followers yeah i don't know where we're going but we'll just see we're gonna rock up somewhere with like 200 women right can we get in please maybe good shout either way sold out huns so we've already had so many messages

as soon as we put the sold out thing everyone was like no i've missed my ticket even my friends were like i've not i said well you should have got a fucking ticket don't underestimate me when i say to you the brunch is out and you sit there for 30 hours don't underestimate this no it's gone you can't really think what's this shitty little podcast you know what my friend said to me she went i was with her at the weekend she went i'm not paying 50 quid to sit with you i can sit here with you for free and i was like well fine then don't go um but yeah so the good thing is we have got another opportunity haven't we literally guys this is your last chance last chance it's like a cheating boyfriend this is your real last chance we're gonna give away two tickets aren't we yes

yep we'll tell you more about at the end of the show but we're gonna give two tickets away you've still got a chance a little chance next time learn your lesson girls like be quick be quick lauren how are you i've got greasy hair um i've got minimal makeup on and i'm in a bit of a grumpy mood but this is a real show sometimes i come on and i don't want to be here are you saying you don't want to be here i want to be here but sometimes i come on and i don't feel amazing i should have washed my hair this morning i stayed in bed too long it's greasy i've got no dry It's never worth doing that, guys, is it? No, because you just feel shit.

Look at me. And also, did you know that if you snooze your alarm or keep falling back to sleep, it's really bad for your brain? Fucks your head up. For the rest of the day. I agree. It fucks your fucking head up. Anyway, top tip from me.

So on Nip Tuck, we want you to get your voice heard. We're on Instagram. We're on TikTok. You can send us a WhatsApp. Find us at Nip Tuck Pod. you can also email us hello at niptuckpod.com you can send your ics and dilemmas via whatsapp that means voice notes we love a voice we love a voice you all love a voice note actually we've realized uh yeah so if you want to get in touch with us you can go to this week's episode on the

description there's more info on there because we want to know everything we want to know what's going on in your life what's getting on your tits what's giving you the ick sex stories dilemmas Other bits. And any other bits. Tits. Dicks. Don't send us tit pics. Anyway, we want to know everything because really we just don't...

Give a fuck. We are back in surgery. So, first thing I want to discuss, we mentioned a couple of episodes ago about dolphin vaginas. We are on our way to the dolphin vagina, honey. Hopefully, yeah. So, we have both had laser hair removal. At the same place, but not on purpose. Pellis.

Pellis and co. but this is really weird because we both had it done at the same place but literally we didn't know we didn't speak to each other about it

because we just didn't and we both ended up going and then realising we'd both been there because they had the machine that we wanted the titanium titanium

it did not hurt one bit no and it took like 10 minutes so I found yeah fine actually do you know one bit though so obviously I had

the full Hollywood did you well I was on my period this is disgusting well it's not because it happens to everyone I had a tampon in right

and i just had a piece of tissue which i held over the tampon string yeah so i had no so basically um and i do think people get nervous about this type of thing i feel like when you've had a baby you don't give a but the woman doing it she wasn't she's seen a million families yeah i had to lie there just literally legs but the funniest thing is the social media girl was in there as well which is what happened to me when i went to katie for my femme 360 yeah so i should just start an only fan honestly i might as well so i was sat there my legs wide open and the lady's doing it which is fine there's also a social media girl taking pictures and i was just like oh and then she was like right go onto your back now because obviously bum hole and turns out mine

isn't that hairy but i do get spiky ones you know you grow back so she was like she was like lie on your front and she was like and if you just want to just open your bum cheeks i was just like so i was lying there on my front opening my cheeks thinking with a social media girl and i was thinking what has my life come to however i won't be thinking that when i don't cut my arsehole with razors anymore because sometimes you get the wrong angle you slice your arsehole no i did that once with ashley's razor when we were about 23 so yeah anyhow we've had laser hair removal we're gonna tell you how it goes have you done your legs as well yeah yeah half a leg it won't work on me i don't think very well yeah see i've not got a lot of hair but it's gone i am it's white yeah yeah

what you'd be harry potter and i'd be malfoy um they're like i'm more hagrid yeah they're just mousy mousy i'm more hagrid what does hagrid say imagine what i've made a very big mistake anyway oh okay so do you know something now we're talking on the pod one of the things that i have to say shout out to the lady that it is so thea got in the car the other day me and my mom were picking her up and she went mommy mrs i won't say name mrs smith listens to your poddie podcast and me and my mum just looked at each other's side eyes i was like no fuck fuck i went how do you know she told me she listens to the podcast and i just in my head all these thoughts of me fanny farting oh and then i'm there in the school room going hi she's just got a little bag there bit of

a cold i think she's fine and she's looking at me thinking i bet all the other mums listen and they're like oh my gosh you are not allowed to ever sleep over at their house oh my god good i don't fucking want any of them sorry neither do i this is we're into playdates if anyone wants to take my kids i'm not doing it back i've got enough anyway tell me you said teddy's got a bit of a cough yes so teddy like it's this time of year and it's dead sad when they've got that rattle and he had croup not that long ago yeah and he was in hospital they bark don't they so if girls if your kid starts going it literally it sounds like then they've got fruit then take them to hospital it's not funny yeah um so he's got a cough but sasky is fine and we've just been

on holiday and um me and ed were like oh that cough or like someone had come over and oh people love telling you that cough doesn't sound good when your kids cover you yes i know um and every time someone would mention the cough you'd just hear and saskia it's a dark coffee that is such a girl exactly the same and she'll like if she hurts herself and it's not even hurting later it was nasty for all that wasn't it just see a find like where like they've injured themselves from weeks ago and goes poorly yeah yeah and she'll say like really hurts i need a plaster she's got a plaster thing at the minute oh yeah oh we've got the plasters and under a school she puts like 10 million plasters yeah it must be it must be a thing me and you are a bit like

oh my god i'm very very like that very like that i i feel like i've made a monster yeah i should do things and i think that's fully fully my child yeah and you're like you want to laugh but you can't you can't no um so yeah that's what's been going on you lost your trousers yeah i lost my trousers that was a very funny video of that lady on instagram so we've not spoken about this was like a couple of weeks ago but we have that much to talk about like so i went out the night before and i got absolutely trollied it's not like you me and james went out for a couple and we really did have a couple then as we were leaving his friends came in that's when it's all stay for long i've met you before lauren and then i was giving it big dick wasn't i yeah i'll down a

blackout blacked out i'll down a pint yeah i can't did you wake up in the morning with dry mouth like I woke up in the morning literally no idea where I was looked over the side there was a bucket a pan full of sick you're sick

my sick and James said that I was really abusive and I was like I'm done with us and he was like what and obviously knew

and he was like I was like I'm done with us I just don't want to be with you anymore and he said he's laughing he was like fucking idiot so then he said

right okay then and then I started being sick and he was like can I get you a pan I was like yes but that's it it's still over just hold the pan

why are you being sick in a pan don't know I've done it before so anyway on the way to the spa and we'd planned this lovely romantic day i was like all the way there he had to open the door and as soon as he opened the car door i vomited on my chanel trainers all over the floor all over the side of the car um anyway we got to the spa and it was actually really nice it was absolutely

lovely but did you have a few more drinks i had a couple yeah um i lost my pants so because i was hungover when i got there um and i'd been being sick in the place as well i got changed really quickly and i must have left my trousers in the changing room anyway i was fucked so off i went Had the nice day By the way Nobody go in the jacuzzi At the bottom left You did a piss in it

I did more than that No one go in that jacuzzi You were sick in it No you could probably Get pregnant in there though I don't think I should say that Shall we remove that Lucas is shocked

Lucas is shocked If anyone's pregnant And has been to Right we're going to get Invited back again A toss off I'm not talking about this anymore A toss off

no Lucas is encouraging Ashley here to prod what's wrong with people like in a spa like not even nice

like we've talked about shagging and oh I'm gonna do you in the swimming pool he started oh god we're early days anyway

so it's early days it's all fun and exciting James oh poor James anyway anyway forget that

so I left my trousers I'm not talking about the shagging anymore oh you were like so I left my trousers and I took my trousers off and left them so I went back to get ready

we were going out for some dinner I put everything on and there was no trousers in my locker were you staying over there no and there was no trousers in my locker

so I was like in my knickers and I was in my knickers and I was like shit what am I going to do so we had the whole spa looking for my joggers these girls were like

I think I saw them over there earlier everyone in the fucking spa knew that come over there so I had to go in reception with a towel around my waist

honestly and they were looking for my pants and this wonderful woman let me tell you she was the manager she was the I hope not

she was going to give me a tights she was like I can give you my tights anyway she went looking around and then she dangled my joggers

over the side and all was well it was really nice I hope to go again if I'm not barred Grantley Hall is just my favourite so I went to Grantley Hall

I took my mum in January oh god so expensive very posh so expensive very posh there's another one that everyone's going to

where you do the yoga stuff oh I've got no time for that I haven't got the attention span do you know what I mean yeah but yeah

so that's what I did I'm good at the drinking wine and the jacuzzi bits but not that's fine so Grantley Hall we should go there

I really I liked it it's not a very me and you thing no okay anyhow did you know

you can hide when you're online and what's that yeah someone told me this the other day how I don't know how but how good is that though

because I find it so awkward like now I'm not texting a million boys but when I was like you'd be texting one and you'd not text the other back and they could see you're online. It's a problem.

It's an invasion of privacy. Yeah, why should you know it? I don't want you to know when I'm online or not. I just don't think it's right. Yeah, I agree. And also like now, I've just checked my WhatsApp before and I had about 12 people,

sorry Lucas, I had 12 people on there messaging me and I am going to get back to them. But then it's prioritising what actually needed here and now. And if you're online, they're like, well, she's online. Yeah, and also I don't want to upset anyone

because I will get back to you if you mean anything to me. I have like this anxiety i have to reply to everyone my dms everything are clear i can't have anything unread or not replied to no if i did that with two kids and what like no well maybe this is why i'm always busy because i'm too busy texting people back ashley what's getting on your lovely tits today we just had to delete loads of really bad stuff we just said about it and we were like scrap that don't put that in what's getting on she like digs a hole i digged a hole i mentioned

my tits being like again for fuck's sake right go what what he's getting on your tits uh men sliding into dms i don't think that's normally a problem yeah right okay so is this a problem is this a me and lucas were actually just talking about another celebrity who slided slid slided slid into another person's dms and their husband messaged them like can you not do that and he sent a really cocky message back that's happened to me before with that girl which girl and she was messaging ed yes this was like 10 years ago and she didn't even know him um and he used to like show me his phone and it was in a psycho time in my life where we used to check each other's yeah and i messaged her like babe just stop yeah and she was like i only did it for work purposes

and i was like no just a professional hoe so stay away um and that's the only time i've ever messaged back now like if i do get a message i don't like send it to ed and tell ed straight away but if we're sat in the car together i'll be like who's this yes yes that kind of thing because it's not an issue and i'm never gonna message back that's what i do yes um but yeah it's like a sports person or something you're like who's who does that person play for i don't exactly right so this weekend i had a rugby player and i was like three blue ticks in my inbox yes and like but the weird thing is they always like like weird pictures it's like so this is what i think they do and this is what's happened to me before they go through all your pictures and they

randomly are back quite far back yeah so they're showing that they've had a really good look at you and they want to get your attention if they like any recent ones loads of other people will still be liking them so they want to stand out i feel like that's the first move they never follow you no no they're not stupid because then any girls that they're getting on to you can see that who the follower they're never gonna follow you and i miss that little bit of um insta where it used to tell you who was liking what do you remember and it's no it's not the export it was called the feed yes and it used to be like ashley like and and lauren like this picture and duda followed duda and they got rid of that this is where the death of instagram has come in because

it is dying a death i feel a little bit a little bit compared to like tiktok for me feels like a lot safer place trolling on tiktok's quite bad i don't care about that i just don't read it but i mean when i do a video i just don't even overthink it whereas instagram don't you feel it's really contrived yeah and you have to the video has to be perfect tiktok i feel like you can just be a bit like silly yeah it's a lot more light-hearted i do agree i've got a tiktok and i've got loads of followers well not loads but i've not done anything on it but i am gonna and that freaky thing um where they used to tell you how many people had sent your post that was weird it'd say how many people had directed your post to someone else and you think like what are you

talking about but people do message me back by mistake yeah yeah that's fine but yeah no so um we get other men sliding in our dms don't we lauren but i think we make it quite clear that we've got partners well this is what i don't understand so there's a particular mail that i discussed oh god last season when i was single and i was on raya and he was on he was prolific so he basically um if you've not heard the episode um got me on raya found me on instagram constantly liking pictures dm dm dm dm like and he's a good looking man and we were like just for banter like go on a date they were trying to make me go on a date and I didn't

but he's got a good profile he's a good looking man okay yeah why is he begging it in such a way maybe he's got a sex addiction so I never met him

he begged not begged but just like on me and then it turns out he has been on our good friend Ashley this week

liking random old pictures of her what are you doing he's lovely is it him though do you think it's him or is it someone on his account

I'm wondering is he got a bot they pay someone to look after their Instagram keep their engagement up by liking by dming i think yeah it must be because i don't believe that this particular man is that desperate for fanny that he needs to yeah like with me i wouldn't reply and he'd double reply and he'd

like you out tonight i don't think i mean i'm not i think the are you out tonight might not be a part no like again and again like i just i don't know i just feel like he could get someone decent he doesn't need to scrape dick question mark dick question mark like like honestly cock dick I just don't get it so anyway it's been on to you you also had a young

footballer a young blue tick a young blue tick baller yeah what did they say right this is rude though I think

they can see you've got a husband oh can you on yours have you got any pictures of Ed only one or two because they kept getting stolen for media articles so maybe to be fair to him

he thought that like you were together a bit ago or that you're not like asked about him it says my kids name in my bible No one cares about kids anymore, do they? So maybe he looked and thought, oh, she's only posted him twice.

She's not that interested. She's not bothered about him. Oh, for what? It's a catch-22. No, I know you can't win. James is all over mine, but then I will get slagged off for that as well. Like, you just can't win.

Yeah. But I do think it's rude when they slide in knowing full well you've got someone. Who's the best person that's ever slid in your DMs? Who is the most famous person that you... No, actually, the... ones, but I'm not saying that. I've had loads...

I've had footballers slide in, but I feel like you just oh jeez I set myself up there yes I've had lots of footballers message I know nothing about football I don't so they don't mean anything to me and I feel like they message everyone

I know who the most famous person is our claim to fame the person that pissed my bed yeah that is a good one he is really famous isn't he I don't know I feel like most of them are sports people and I just don't think I don't think

any when I was on Raya there was some interesting ones on there wasn't there Lewis Capaldi

yeah did you speak to him no you didn't no no I didn't but I really

like his music really like his music he's sounding he's sound he's like I feel like I'm he's like me

the male version like the male version of me isn't he he just sits there like oh fucking hell I don't want to

be here today is he Scottish oh that's awful Scottish anyway can i just say when we did our scottish accents our scottish followers really liked it yeah they did yeah yeah growler growler anyway so i think it's out of order than doing that but do you know what i have to say i think we need to give our men a little bit of a shout out here because we talk about quite risky things on this pod yeah and it doesn't mean we don't like

not one of the things that really pissed me off is oh my god have you seen if you go on tiktok I sent it to you all and searched nips up pod and then scroll down people have done like replies to us so one guy

it was the 12 year one the video clip where you go she's been with a boyfriend for 12 years and I go oh god it's a fucking joke

but anyway this man has played it and then he goes and that here is what's wrong as if like what's wrong with women

it's a joke oh Lauren just don't even this is the whole not giving a fuck we don't give a fuck no we don't but what I'm saying

is our men put up with quite a lot and I think they've got such big dick energy no they so for example james listens to a podcast of mine and i'm talking about my previous ed doesn't even conquest i don't think he does anymore but i'm listening to previous conquests and all i'm saying is it's big dick energy what does ed do when someone slides in your dm what's his response laughs exactly mine is message them back james is the same and

james will laugh and he'll also be like fucking good one that he's all right he's a good player and i think that's a good way to be and i respect them for that have you ever had boyfriends before where on a night out you're actually scared to go out with them because of how yes i was once with someone if anyone spoke to me he would literally throw a glass like he was mental that's not normal would laugh and he'd be like i think it's quite um it's like a big boost for them if someone's trying it on with your missus obviously there's like a line of respect like with regards to like but like they're just like if if someone used to turn around and be like get all angry it's like yeah exactly james likes it and if people chat james up

I see when we walked down the street so when we were in Paris we were walking down the street and this woman literally did a fucking whoop double

she nearly got whipped like she did a double take and did you like it I loved it right and she was sat with a mate she nudged a mate and both of them and I turned around

to them both and I just smiled and I went I know that's what I did I literally smiled and I went I know

like as in you're right he's fucking wealthy and that was it and she laughed like you fellas fit and I was like that's so good

that is healthy I feel and I think the whole like over jealous like it's just not a healthy way being jealous is just not the one issue i think that's your own problems reflecting on your relationship like if you're jealous you've got internal hate is a mirror did you just say that hate is a mirror hate is a mirror honey so if you go online and talk about people then the mirror is on you you're a loser or just in general in general okay anyhow we will be back very shortly after a little break where we're going to down

some what we're drinking today mike's hard seltzer yeah black cherry it's good shit that i i think it tastes like a paracetamol what's it called that you put in the water what's it called dissolvable paracetamol what's it called the one that when you're really hungry yeah it just tastes to me no no do you know when you put a a paracetamol in the water and it what's it called an aspirin no there's a name for it no everyone's listening now they're shouting it I know they're shouting it. No, it is a paracetamol, but it's a type of paracetamol,

not a brand. And dispersible. Something like that. Everyone's shouting it at the radio, I'll bet you. Get your notepads out now because I've got hangover on that note cure. I'll come to it after the break.

Okay. Right, Ashley, we're back. What is your cure? Right, okay. so my cure is you get some alkaline water in a pint glass you can where'd you get that from active ph but i've got the tough amounts anyway if not just water wow okay whatever just get your water mate right so water yeah pint glass yeah a barocca this isn't revolutionary barocca barocca's a shit an alka-seltzer yes yeah yeah okay diorolite sorry sorry go a diorolite and get a little whisk

and mix it together and down it before you go to bed and you will not be hungover really so my suggestion is a Bloody Mary

in the morning but it's very different yeah then the hangover you wake up with on Monday not Sunday and it's double

as bad and it's double okay yeah I would love if there is a hangover cure honestly imagine how much money if you could genuinely make

a hangover cure can you imagine you can't but imagine the money why can you not just have like one or two wines in the evening

I don't do that no I'm a binge drinker Oh, I'm not. I mean, I can have one with my meal, probably. But if I'm, like, with the girls, I can't have what, like... I'm either in, I'm all or nothing. No, I go out for, like, dinner a lot in the week with my friends. And I just have, like, one really nice glass of wine.

Oh, yeah, OK, with a meal, maybe one. But I would probably just have none. I would have a diet Coke, please. No. OK. Anyway, Lucas said that they've invented a hangover cure, so... Lucas, chat shit, pass it on. Let's hope it's in time for the brunch.

oh nice little link there hon okay so welcome back this is the part of the podcast where it's all about answering your questions let's get into it with the first one lauren off you go hello girls love the pod and love you both oh i don't know you told me to go then then read it yourself like make your mind up do you want me to read it you're not i feel like i'm in school do you remember at school in english and they'd say lauren read the next one and you go i would not be paying attention i'd be looking out of the window at a tabby cat the worst thing is faking my nose the worst thing was when you were all reading a book and you went around the school and everyone read a paragraph so you would work out when your paragraph was coming so did you not

used to do that so that so you'd go like one two three four five i'm on paragraph and you practice it again and again and again did you ever cheat in exams all the time yeah so my gcses i got really good ones i didn't cheat on that i cheated on my gc yeah yeah so i wrote um the answers on my leg in pen my legs were big i could say on there but i um pulled my skirt up really and you know in english literature when you guys can they revoke my jesus i know in english literature i probably spent more time on the cheating than it would have taken to revise but you took your own book in with you right in really thin pencil between each line i wrote the um wow you really know i didn't cheat that much but i like i i'm quite i'm quite intelligent i went to a grammar school

so did i bitch yeah but yours was like all girls like does that make a fucking difference did you have to take a test to get in yeah the 11 plus that's what a grammar school is oh it means you're in the top five percent of the country i wonder what i am look at us bitch anyhow here we go can i read it all yeah oh my god now i've got the pressure like i'm in school can I go to the toilet please miss okay

hello girls love the pod and love you both thanks found out my man was cheating was cheating on me after carelessly leaving

lube and a sex toy lying around after he'd been on a night out what to confirm neither were mine I feel like he left that on purpose

no one cheating leaves that also no one cheating needs to use that it's already that fucking exciting anyway

lube and a sex toy is like a year down the line two two Of course he tried to manipulate it and deny it You can't deny that She sent him packing Well done

It might have been that he was putting the sex It up his bottom Yeah Maybe I mean you'd try that shout wouldn't you Yeah It's been three months and I'm still infuriated And I want to seek revenge

I know something bad about him Which could get him into a lot of trouble But do I stoop that low All my girls say I need to rise above it But it's so hard I was already insecure And it's left me feeling worthless and humiliated Question

What would Lauren and Ashley do Right okay so you tell me your opinion first it depends if like have they got a financial commitment together like a house or something like that i don't think so i don't think so okay well she can't blackmail in then blackmail would be the best option because it's in secret blackmail for what though oh i'll tell you this if you give me your share of the house type thing i know i know someone that that did that found out her boyfriend was on this uh gay only fans thing really someone sent her a video and she went to him and said,

I'll show this to your whole family if you don't sign over the apartment to me. And he did. Christ, okay. She still owns it. So, hope she has a lovely time in there. Well, what a clever idea is that then? I don't know.

Is that not a bit fucking wrong? He's cheated on her. Yeah. I'm soft. Yeah, I mean. I don't know. Anyway, okay. So, no, don't stoop that low is my answer.

i think she something's telling me she knows something about him that could get in trouble with the police i don't know why or like tax i think no don't do it and i'll tell you why because no one this is not going to make you feel any better in fact what will happen is you'll then start to feel guilty because you will and it looks really petty and like you care yeah you'll feel guilty and you'll feel shit now the little bit at the end where she says she feels worthless and humiliated you babe it happens every day cheryl cole will go back to her will always she is they're always gonna do you know what beyonce they are always gonna be the one so i understand how you feel like that though because every time i've been cheated on you look at

yourself and you're like well there's actually nothing wrong with you what was wrong with me why did they not think that my vagina was good enough why did they have to look somewhere else was my sex not good enough was and this is what we do and it is so normal and it takes a long time to get out of that mindset but you have to remember cheryl cole got cheated on honey it's nothing to do with that don't stoop that low keep going it's been three months it will get less and less and less shaggy's mate next i honestly think um there's like little things yourself that you can do that will like get him back worse like what lauren said like maybe like start hanging out with a friend of a friend of his and do some wild shit that gets back to him um but the best revenge

just going to be moving on with someone else and being really happy it sounds so cliche doesn't it yeah genuinely right look at the people in the past that you've ever been with you've ever messed up with or whatever if you see them looking just not asked generally they're generally seeing them make they are happy they don't care they don't look at your profile they don't know you're like oh it really doesn't care and also don't forget like this wasn't the relationship for you you're now going to have a new relationship and you don't want your new relationship to be tainted in any way by um you know your new partner or your new partner's friend hearing about what you did to this person because it's not a true reflection of you it wasn't for you and we've moved on yeah i

think if you feel like you need to mirror their actions then actually it's you that's going to end up fucked you stay the bigger person my thing is always if you can put your head down at night yeah and know that you have done your best you've tried not to hurt anyone you've done what you could within your control you've not touched it you have been as kind as you can that speaks but you people some people can't sleep like that so just keep being the bigger person and keep cracking on and if i mean if you want a shaggy's mate like do i don't know i didn't say that depends so next question ashley i went on a date with a lad i went to a toilet and there was a girl in there she touched me on the shoulder and she said you need to go he's not good enough for you and she was

like what does she know him she said she was a psychic and then she got the vibe that he wasn't a good person i was that bladdered i didn't even go back to him she really believes i was stood outside waiting for a taxi home with the fit bouncer on the door question would you take what a stranger tells you seriously without any evidence or proof no the amount of things i've You said when I've been pissed. Not really, no. I'm telling you now, I fully do. I need to go to one that's going to make me believe them.

I went to one and she's a witch. And so I'm actually, for your Christmas presents, I'm going to pay for both of you to go. And it's 250 quid, this woman. And you've got to book months in advance. I swear, she only does one person a day because she said, and like if she's not feeling it, she'll cancel you. And like, honestly.

I need a job like that. it's what same anyway so so you believe in psychics listen sis went in she gets a piece of blank paper and you sit in her i'm sorry i can't take it sit in this with her eyes closed and draw things out with her eyes i see ashley you are going to be rich uh you have a podcast sorry she when you get in the house she like says hello to you she sits you outside at this long table in her garden and she lives next door to a graveyard so you can see the graveyard from the garden there's all like trees there's like about 10 lucas is rolling do you think this is absolutely shy yeah i agree with lucas carry on i'm telling you the truth sorry all right so then um she goes

inside to do some reiki and meditation then does she put her witch hat on do you want to go and see this person sorry i'm insulting her sorry okay go yeah jesus these are people yeah i shouldn't have said that like we're gonna get oh my god so i love her by the way she then comes outside and she starts talking to you about things and starts writing things down and i love the fact that it's all written down she will only see you once a year i've got this piece of paper and i put it in a drawer and every few months i get the piece of paper out and i look at it and i'm like fuck that happened that the biggest one that she did was your husband's got a gold piece of jewelry not the fucking it was the watch yeah that watch that we're never gonna

live she went your husband's got a gold piece of jewelry he needs to be really really careful with it something's gonna happen okay so can i ask you this right no next bit go on he for his wedding i got that silver cartier necklace and he got it in gold the watch was rose gold didn't even think about it she went whatever jewelry he's got in gold he needs to put away then i got the piece of paper out and it was like gold jewelry and i and it this was months after the watch and i was like fuck the watch okay so my question here is i'm not saying it's true it's not true in what way did that help you he's still got his watch taken you've just got a piece of paper with loads of stuff that's going to happen that was going to happen anyway in what way did this help your life

there's another thing she's written oh here we go and it's like you need to be careful of a person with this letter like as their first name it's me isn't it um okay but that could be loads of different people i know but it just makes me more wary but didn't the gold thing didn't make you wary because he ain't got the watch anymore i hid the necklace too late the gold watch is gone i just look i'm sorry we've totally digressed here um i just so there's two different things as well you've got a spiritual you've got like a psychic who tells you what's gonna happen there's our opinion on the spiritual thing lauren says no i say i don't see the point in that but what i am interested in is people so what do you think about sorry we're totally digressing

people that talk to the dead yeah that's two different things so there's a side yeah tell you what's gonna happen i think that's pointless i don't want to know i will know like she told me yeah i know but like i think people go for comfort yes i think people go when they're in a bit of a certain place in life and they go and it's very good for that everything's gonna be okay and it is good for that do i believe it not really then there's like people who go and say i can hear your grandma what do you think of that because i think that could be if anything i would she knew names and stuff yeah okay well let anyone out there that is into this type of thing i would be quite interested because i have been to a few psychics not one of them picked my dad up so either he

doesn't want he's either been watching what i'm doing and isn't speaking to me anymore because he's seen what i've been up to and is now totally severed all bonds um i don't know i just i've been by my dead dad um he's fuming with me so i let us know um but no i wouldn't get haunted i wouldn't yeah like i wouldn't take um what a stranger tells me seriously no right then we have another perspective what so my friend i'll take really quick my friend was speaking to a guy okay they were talking for ages or online they met a couple of times the guy then had a spiritual person slide into his dms and was like do you want a reading so he was like yeah i'll take a reading i don't get it either but whatever so he took the reading then he thought it'd be really nice to do one for

the girl he was chatting to you know like i've got you a reading so turns out the girl that slid into the dms wanting to give him a spiritual thing actually fancied him wait so then she's he says can i pay for the girl i'm talking to to have one she was like yeah of course you can she came back and was like no i don't think she's for you i get a bad vibe off her and it was just to steal her yeah and did she manage to steal him no okay um so then the other aspect to that question is would you take what a stranger tells you seriously without any evidence or proof never so if i rang you and i was like listen lauren i shagged james last night i'd believe you because you're my best friend yeah but oh yeah strange you're not doing it right if someone randomly rang me and said i

had games last night i'm like you didn't because i was on i was on there so no but then what if certain bits added up we're not talking about james say something else uh yeah you'd look into it but i wouldn't i only take people at face value so i would take what people say and i would look into it but i wouldn't trust someone until i knew them properly some weird stuff has happened to me before not like relationship stuff like life stuff certain things like say i've gone missing or certain things have been damaged or certain things. And some people say to me, just a heads up, I know this. And I feel like, yeah, I don't know.

But what I do want to know is she was waiting for a taxi home. Did he message her? No, I want to know. She said she was waiting for a taxi home with a fit bouncer. What happened with him? Nothing better than a fit bouncer. Nothing better than a fit. What about the Ryanair guy?

Oh, Lucas, did you see him? so ashley sent me and lucas a tiktok of um a ryanair flight attendant wow he was so fit he was fitter than david gandhi he was so good looking and he was have you not looked at all lucas is now interested he's not ignoring the chat then mate yeah um and it's a tiktok what would it be under so people can find it and he basically says thank you thank you ryanair and this guy and some absolute legend is filming him so yeah thank you for that it goes if you see eddie fit bounces flight attendants builders girls send them in nothing makes me hornier than james in his building where any any men like that let us know so as we know the brunch we've

mentioned it once or twice that it's sold out um we've had loads of people i'm practically being bribed in the dms people want the fucking tickets so we're going to give two tickets away aren't we we've managed to pull two out of lauren's ass i knew you were going to say that and we've managed to pull two out there's lots of other things out there it's hard to have a route but we found them um so we're going to give them away but what we need you to do is this we're going to put a post up we want you to share it on your story and tag who you'd like to bring with you yes if you want to give us a little brief reason as to why i mean it might help your chances it might not if you want to my bank details might help as well but yeah go over there do that and then two of you

will win tickets for free for free at the minute they're like bloody gold dust never mind free yeah there you go head over there now guys we'll see you on friday bye