Nip Tuck - Hen do's and Hen dont's

Episode Date: April 9, 2024

This week's is all about Hen do's! The group chats, the mixing of friends, the games! We give you all the tips and tricks plus some of our hilarious stories. If you want extra episodes and want to be part of our group chat then sign up to our Patreon...patreon.com/niptuckpod Music courtesy of BMG Production Music. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Guys, hello and welcome to Nip Tuck Not Giving A... Podcast. This is the podcast where we celebrate being positive, aspirational women. Now, guys, this is all about being your true, authentic self, isn't it, Laura? Absolutely. Being who you want to be, not giving a fuck, as long as you're not hurting anybody. Own your shit. Own your shit. That's all it is.

exactly i was listening to someone's book today and they said that not fucking caroline quinn again is it what's your caroline oh she's having a mare at the minute um no it wasn't his and this lady said if you are being your in inauthentic self so you're not being your authentic self people can spot it a mile off oh my god you can't have you ever spoken i've got a thing when people are too nice yeah and you think why why and it might just be that they're really nice but i'm not like that like i'm quite dry and when someone is too oh my god i love that i'm like straight away my senses are up and i think you are not really true because nobody is nice all the time no that's like that meme i sent you the other day what did it say it was something like me

sucking all of the life out of a room because I don't want to be there we were saying it was me at that look fantastic event literally I sucked the life out of everyone when I'm at a family dinner and I'm hungover or something I'm like you suck everyone like can I just tell you before I forget no one's allowed to be happy if I'm not yeah that's it something that happened to me this morning that when it happened I thought I'm going to just say this on the podcast so I'm in the car and me and one of the mums share that the car carpool very American best thing ever by the way if you live near a mum and you're not sharing the school run then you're stupid so we share it anyway they're chatting in the back and they're talking about where babies come from and I'm

thinking don't ask me don't ask me anyway Thea said I came out of my mum's belly um that and I was like oh cute and she went that's why her belly button's so weird and I literally my face I was driving like ah and I was like and I didn't say anything add that to the insult list I didn't say and I just carried on and um a friend went why what's wrong with the belly button and she went she went that's where i came out of that's why it's all like weird and i was literally just driving and my whole body language from oh was like oh so it isn't just me then yeah so she's noticed that my belly button is weird and i just was like i didn't you didn't come out of my belly button and then i just carried on so i just thought like aren't kids so offensive sometimes

like does saskia do this like if i've got a spot she'll look at my face like yeah i remember once I got um eyelash extensions and you know like you immediately think oh fucking hell what have I done and because I've got really big eyes yeah they looked like no like a cow and I knew they looked stupid I knew because they were fresh on there was nothing yeah I could do I had to you can't pick them off at that point so I was like you know brushing them and I got home and Ed was like what the hell and then saskia was like and whenever i have my eyebrows tinted at first she's always like what have you done thea doesn't like it if i change anything she's a bit like when i cut my hair she was like oh why have you done that and i was like do you not like it and she was like

no it doesn't look good mummy yeah they're so weird aren't they tell me what you've done this weekend like what have you been up to what's going on this weekend i on saturday me and ed went for lunch um that was nice and what did oh we went to splash club this thing on saturday morning where the kids play in the swimming pool for an hour at the gym um and then so you took the kids swimming yeah one kid one yeah that is why i have a nanny i shouldn't feel the need to actually defend this but when you have a little baby it's nap times need to be strict and i'm not carting her around with me and like then suffering all night you're like yeah okay i'm just looking at it i'm nodding like and then i'm just thinking about my weekend and how chaotic i'm just nodding

like yeah yeah no i get it no but you can't with a little baby listen if you can get the help get the help then on sunday i went to primark hello kitty cafe of course sea life and lego land what you went to these things i did with one child two that's not like you yeah why did you do that that's a lot in one day no it's not because it's all in the traffic center no it's a lot of lots of stimulation i my head would have gone yeah but i would have been like sea world lego took me for lunch and had wine so it made you feel better it's fine and because we were out so early yeah but i saw loads of yeah you said you got spotted in prime i'd buy like three or four different people no yeah and did they come over they came over yeah um and i could see them

like looking at ed and the kids like taking it all in yeah because that's the difference you don't share that so when someone sees you they're like you know when you do that mind where you photograph i bet they were i bet they were because everyone's like who is this ed um and then i went for tapas in knutsford and i walked in the restaurant and the lady was like have you been here before and i was like no and then she was like but why do i recognize oh it's so awkward what do you say that because i went might be off instagram that's what i said it might be so uncomfortable and ed was taking the piss out of me for ages afterwards he was like that is so embarrassing honestly what do you say when um i was doing someone's lip blush which i've now finished i've got one

day to wednesday and then he's sad we are no longer no um no i'm not sad um i'll tell you why i it was amazing i did it for four years i'm very good at it and i am and it was really good but my life has just changed so much and i'm so grateful of that and it's moved so much that yeah it was taking like a long of my a lot of my time and i was really struggling and energy because there's a lot of energy when you work with people you'll know girls if you do hair beauty when you touch when you touch it's like your energy gets drained throughout the day and i was trying to keep up with all the stuff we do because i don't think people realize how much work goes into what we do and it was just stressing me out so i am glad for that um but i was doing lip blush and the lady i

was chatting to one of the other girls at work and she stopped and the client went i recognize your voice yeah and you just what do you say i just went oh we were eyes closed yeah she'd seen me when she came in but she was like i recognize your voice but you've got a really distinctive voice and then i had to say it and i was like podcast i've got a podcast and every time i say it because obviously we know how well the pod does and it's amazing i feel like some little girl who's got like a podcast in a bedroom it just really embarrasses me and i was like i've got the podcast thing and then and then she said that's where i recognize your voice tick tock what's it about and again again bing bong boo i don't really know right now lauren so over the

weekend i saw this meme and i was like that is such a good question so i sent it in our group chat you know the insult one yeah so it says what's an insult you will never forget did you straight away think of one mine came like that no mine came like that go when i was about 15 um and so this is what we're talking 17 18 years ago now you remember it as soon as you sent me that bang um we all used to hang around on the streets because that's what i did i wore rock ports and white tracky bottoms and white tracky bottoms on i think they were adidas and i was walking up the hill and the group of lads behind us and one of the lads eddie i'm sure he won't mind me saying i don't see him anymore um it was 18 years ago i can i can only imagine and uh he

said hi lauren i said yeah anyway can see your cellulite through your pants a man said that oh we were 15 and i will he could see the dimples how did he know what the word cellulite is i don't even think ed would know can see your cellulite through your pants and i will never forget that did you turn around and cry or laugh i think i probably went ah fuck off and then in that voice because i probably spoke like that at the time and then um i probably went home and cried and threw them away but i will never i'm not bothered but i at the time i will never it just came straight into my mind can you not think have you not any um yeah like just uh hmm no just like that i've got like no ass no boobs the usual yeah but christine have you not got one that literally

honestly came into my mind like that it's probably loads but mine when you say back at school i remember all the guys rated the girls and they gave um like my friends an a star because i had no boobs for ages and one of my friends got a a plus it wasn't even a star a plus the other one got b plus and they gave me u and great and i didn't even know what that was and it was like ungraded because i had like no boobs or anything and uh yeah that is quite so you do remember that some of the ones on here have just had me really laughing we pop say um q a up we won't spend too long on this because we got so many we'll head if you head over to patreon we will read some of them out because they are absolute corkers um so lauren give us a couple this one's just really

tickled me getting called fire flaps because i've got ginger hair came back from my two-week holiday and my mum said oh someone's enjoyed the all-inclusive oh mums um let's have a look my ex of 11 years said i've got i've got a back like a fruit machine what does that mean a back like a fruit machine your dad sells avon what is this we'll talk over on patreon about the rest of them because there was some really funny ones but send them in guys a child sorry a child got on a bus i was on and shouted mom look it's michael jackson that's so mean that's real if she was born in the winter she wouldn't have made it have you heard that one before no like if you're thin and stuff like if you're born in the winter you wouldn't have made it anyway i just think

that's really funny oh this one can we just do your jewelry looks like it's from elizabeth duke what's that she won't know what that is it's like a sort of a brand on is it in h samuel or something like that it's like or argos argos is it argos i wouldn't know guys these are really funny yeah let's do these on patreon that my dad left because he couldn't afford the amount of food i ate that's fucking harsh that being told i smell like egg mayonnaise by my child you smell of egg some of them are really funny can i also just interject something that i found that i thought was really funny so have you ever seen that so very british problems and it says like how funny british people are reasons to let out a weird little oop noise right so just do for me what

your night what you think that is oh yeah ready they're really funny okay most common reason doors number one you've tried to push a pull door number two the automatic door hasn't opened and you're right up against it oh you're trying to go through a door just as someone's coming out of it oh other reasons you've gone to i'm really good at it you've gone to shake someone's hand but they've gone in for a hug oh yeah you're walking towards someone on a narrow path and you both repeatedly choose the same side as you try to pass oh yeah you've opened the wrong cupboard now today we are talking about hendoos aren't we lauren okay now we we've spoken a lot about weddings in the past um and now obviously we've got our lauren's getting married not not too far

away now isn't it not at all so um basically we at this time of year as well i feel is very hen do it all everyone now everyone's like christmas get out of the way and now everyone's like the winter now everyone's like right my hen my hen my hen i've bought my hen and i kind of feel like it's not as fashionable anymore no i think we since covid does that make sense yeah yeah i don't think it's as big a thing as it used to be and i think people are a bit judgy about hens as well do you think though that's our age group because we've been we're a million and i've already had one yeah and we're over it because i hate as many anymore i don't think people are getting married as much anymore do you not think a lot of venues now will not let you in if you

are hen dude up and paraphernalia so is that true yeah yeah 100 true so um nikki beach in miyoka won't let you in if you've got any form of hen do paraphernalia there's a lot of clubs that won't let you in good because they get they don't want to ruin everyone else's day with you silly girls i think it's what it is so i think that's another reason you can't go to somewhere with all the stuff anymore but as you people used to go out around blackpool with the inflatable dick and some rock i think you can still do that i'm sure in blackpool you can let us know if you're from blackpool if it's been banned but i think you can um yeah the paraphernalia gets me guys i think it's funny though i'm all right with it nice those tracksuits that say wifey on the front

oh there's a difference no there's a difference i'm talking funny big i'm gonna buy you a wifey please don't do that and blow up dicks dick straws i think that's hilarious i'm all for that i totally agree i'd rather walk through the airport dressed as a big penis as a dick than wear the wifey i agree tracksuit it's not something i would um i got offered recently a company wanted to work with me and pay me to wear a wifey sweater and they suggested that james could wear the hubby one is there a hubby one yeah fuck off fuck off it was a polite no from me but you could do you not think how much well it was a it was a no no i don't think so how much um and then it was a no lauren you you already you know lower yourself in a lot of ways

let's not do that so it was a no from me so what are your thoughts on hen do's lauren i'm not having one this time um simply because for me the stress of it wouldn't mean i wouldn't enjoy it i've got too many friendship groups also i feel like it gets quite confusing when the mums are involved so it's a hen do you kind of feel like your mum should come and his mum but it's a totally different night out with your mates than your mum and i'm just not sure on all that coming together i would be really uncomfortable with making sure everybody was having a good time said that when me and you went on that hendy that time we were with the mums it depends on them yeah we were so much fun i think it depends on my mom doesn't drink so like it just depends on the mom i guess

um what i said i might do is maybe do like little bitty things with a few groups of friends so like one of my friends mentioned giving out me well yeah it's not gonna happen one of my friends mentioned um going to soho farmhouse for a couple of days which would be nice maybe and then i might go on a night out with i don't know i would like to do something with i don't know what's your dream hen do if i said to you i don't have here is a hundred grand do whatever you want i well i would get a massive villa um so i could pay for everyone so i wasn't putting people out maybe i don't know how much a pj would stretch but maybe a couple of pjs if the balance if the budget would stretch all go and then kind of have one or two plans but the rest of it everyone just

does what they want but i also feel like that could cause pure pure problems because so many women more people involved with wanting loads of different things to do it stresses me out so i would rather not have one so i don't intend to do one this time guys i'm gonna call lauren out on her shit you oh i did have your last hand oh i was 25 right i know but can we just talk about it she made us all wear nude like a baby pink it was nude oh dear yeah she made us all wear nude yeah i did and like why why because at the time you were fuming at the time you actually said you were gonna wear black and i was like if she fucking turns up in black yeah but like i don't ever wear nude i've got white skin and blonde hair i remember you but i don't know what i'm

wearing i remember thinking i don't care it's my handy as long as i look okay i don't care what you're like um no number one i was 25 number two it was very different then that was it was in it was in that was like the fashion at the time that everyone wore one color like now it's a bit not in but it was like everyone wears one color and i'd wear a different and it was when i was just starting to enjoy instagram and i was thinking for the gram for the pictures and i got loads of props we'll share the picture on patreon that we've got yes we have got a picture that night ended wow with me coming out of Sankey's at seven in the morning literally came out it was broad daylight everyone was going to work there was people on delivery drive it was I do you know

in those moments that you never forget yeah it's the only time I've been it's the time when I handed my own bag in and said I found this someone's lost it and I handed in my own bag with my initials on because I was into the initials then first wedding you do all that um wifey yeah I had this white bag with my initials on and I handed it in behind reception I said I've just found this bag um I don't know whose bag it is but they've left it on that table so I handed in my own bag that's how pissed I was and then the next day realized I'd lost my bag rang up all the venues and they were like yeah we have got your bag someone handed it in at the and I thought and it just clicked I handed my own fucking bag in yeah yeah that's such a sanky thing to do

honestly um and i came out and i remember just looking around and everyone was going to work and i had to go and view an apartment that morning and my um my mum was not impressed not impressed i ended up staying at harley's house and oh my god we went back to harley's we had a house party with these lads it was and then i was like my boyfriend's gonna come and pick me up and they were all like oh boyfriend's eddie stuber and i went out at the front and that night was weird me and harley ended up running and i paid to have this cake made did you go back out then because how did i end up at home i went back out i think and then came back i don't know but i just remember oh the cake in the kitchen we were smashing the cake so we got

i had this cake made this ornate gorgeous cake because again at the time like now i couldn't be asked but he was very i know i had all blessed harley and nicks were so cute we got um i had like a table and we got like a buffet and i got no one was eating no i got like i got it i dressed it all there was a cake we put cupcakes with you know sticky things in and yeah yeah and we started the night with this cake we ended the night i don't know why me and harley running and face diving into the cake so our faces were and we were taking it in turns to run smash our faces my mom still loves that story and there was cake everywhere it was weird it went weird and that's why i don't go out anymore and someone didn't come home and their husband was ringing us all and we were like

what do you say like i was just like i think i've seen her somewhere earlier her car's here but yeah that was my first and i did make people wear colors and that's not something i would repeat my hen do because you asked um i had in my kitchen why didn't i go to your home why you couldn't be asked really i don't even remember yeah and really yes it was in covid i don't remember i don't remember yeah you just didn't come there's parts of my life when you were with that weird weird guy and i don't think you were allowed there was part of my parts of my life that i don't remember that wasn't even me it was a version of april 20 because i've been married three years in april yeah i was with it's a version yeah it was a version of me um and i

had it in my kitchen and we did it looked amazing it wasn't amazing at all but you looked amazing i remember seeing a picture of you and being like um you looked good and we had what's it called beer pong yeah we set that up on the table good game we got like sausage rolls like all the best snacks yeah got some really nice drinks for everyone and everyone just turned up we had a lot of fun it was only girls yeah and then they went home but it was covid so you had no other option do you think you would have i think you would have done a bit of something else and they all know maybe but at the same time ed didn't do anything no i don't think james is gonna have a stag um he keeps changing his mind but he's not bought what's the worst hen do you've been on

i've not really been on many i avoid them like i've not been on many i went i went on a great one with my friend in the summer please don't invite me on your hen do we went to k2 karaoke it was absolutely fantastic stuff like that what because her mum her mum came so it was like we went to the ivy for a meal which was good um and then we went may as well just do the carry-on yeah and then we went to we got on a bus in manchester we were crying laughing like getting all pissed getting on this bus like day sesh trainers love that we went to k2 and we had a ball shut the door yeah no one was there i had my tits out of course and we were all um literally out and we were all dancing and it was just lovely and then we went home i had a really good time

yeah that's the kind of vibe that i would want or like go and see the pleasure boys and pay for a table yeah for me the thing with the hen it depends how much time you've got on your hands but for me it wouldn't just stress me out like you've got a wedding to plan it's too much i've been in hen do group chats as well i've got a funny story about someone stealing money and we don't know like they go people go weird people go like especially about money like who's in charge well there's two there's two hen do chats there's the hen do of the civilians if you're just part of the hen do but there's also the bridesmaid chat which is yeah organize the hen do yeah and that is toxic because you've got different groups of friends and people fall out

and but everyone is trying to just be up the bride's ass like i know her the best i know it's so weird i'm the one that's like i'll pull back i'm like you do it yes i don't want it goes on though that's what we're saying like i i guys i feel for you like if if you're in a hen do group chat and you don't really want to be there that it's archived you get put like so much pressure gets put on you because it's these destination hen do's then that means you're gonna have to be in a bikini in front of a group of girls that you maybe don't know that is a big thing people that are body conscious like i to be honest i have been body conscious in the past but never like really really bad but i know there are people that as soon as you mention a broad hen the first thing

they think about is fuck i've got to get in swimwear and they look at the other people who's the thinnest oh my god they're thinner than me and that and because you don't know them that well you don't feel comfortable they look basically yeah and then also not only that guys if you are trying to keep up appearances with a certain group of people like you said they're all from different friendship groups it's well what do i wear where are we going yeah how they've got designer clothes i've not like and it sounds pathetic but we've all been there we've all worried about it and then also will i have stuff to talk about someone that i don't really know that well yeah will i be able to let loose and have a drink that's my issue with mixing too many

groups that's why i'm not doing it no exactly i think all my friends would get on but you just