Nip Tuck - How to be Confident

Episode Date: June 10, 2025

This episode is all about being confident, we give you our best tips!Steven Bartlett - charisma episode:https://podcasts.apple.com/bz/podcast/charisma-teacher-psychology-of-why-people-dont-like/id1291423644?i=1000688431901If you want BONUS episodes each week you can subscribe on Apple or sign up to our Patreon - patreon.com/niptuckpod Get in touch with the show - EMAIL - [e-mail] WHATSAPP - 07418 610097INSTAGRAM/TIKTOK - @niptuckpod Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Guys, hello and welcome to Nilloo's Talk, not giving a fuck. Happy Wednesday or whenever you are listening. So, this is Lauren's last main episode. I keep saying it, I'm still here. We decided for this episode, we're going to do something timeless and we're going to talk about confidence because i would say that is something that comes up almost every day in our girl gang chat in in some way shape or form sometimes it's not always a direct confidence thing but it comes back to confidence like for example we get a lot of people with dilemmas about their relationships and how they're being treated by men and i still think when i read them

a lot of it comes down to their confidence they might not realize this but they're not leaving these men or they've been treated in a certain way and it still comes down yeah to how you feel about yourself and that affects everything it's got like a domino effect yeah work we get work questions don't we and it comes down to confidence in yourself yeah everything so basically we're going to have a little chat about that now i'm going to start with a loose question for you Lauren loose how would you say your confidence has evolved from when you were 20 to now when you're 35 oh my god hugely absolutely hugely when I was in my 20s I was just keen to fit in keen to please keen to be liked shapeshifter yeah I would turn into whatever boyfriend I was with at that time

because i obviously didn't have enough confidence in who lauren was and i don't know if i even knew who i was then either because i've not evolved or grown i've not had all these life experiences so what i would do is i would latch on to a man for example and i would become what i thought they thought was great because that would then give me confidence and because you liked them and thought they were amazing you'd want to emulate what they thought was amazing and it comes down to even friendships i would have friends that i would inadvertently copy and that i would even like you when we were young like we always laugh about the the the lawyer guy the businessman because i saw you and how you were and thought oh like it doing well want to be like a

tribe businessman because that was your type it's not mine but i emulated friendships and also i remember having like a group probably before my 20s really of people of friends and we all went to beauty school together and um i would dumb down my own opinion to fit in with what their opinions were and i would if they really liked uh it was mac makeup i'd never heard of it they were into mac next thing i bought everything back i would like you say shape shift and become these people whereas now don't get me wrong because i'm on instagram and i'm like oh we'll copy her yeah of course there's a degree of that but now i'm really confident and happy with what i am and who i am yeah and that's important to you yes hugely would you not say

though and this is to all of the girls in their 20s that it confidence doesn't just come to you it comes from experience as well yeah yeah exactly and that's but the more the bad experiences actually than the good ones and that's where you learn about yourself and i think you shape your 20s shape who you're gonna be a lot as well because of the experiences and because you think oh did that didn't work very well yeah we'll do that again or in my case we'll do that 10 times again what would you say um was your biggest confidence knock that you've dealt with so far um men it's always for me yeah it's always men it's never work it's never friends it's always been men um and i think that came right back down to my early relationships with rejection and

issues around maybe dad's stuff i don't know but issues with rejection and people not people men men has always been my problem men rejecting me i've got a bit of a katie price i honestly that can you want to watch her not to the degree but the certain bits that i get and it's where men have made me feel not good enough by rejecting me and then you get a rejection complex now the problem with that is what happens then is you will cling on to a man for dear life so that you're not rejected and that again causes the pattern so i would say when i split up with thea's dad huge rejection the guy that i went out with that was the narcissist that was the druggie again huge rejection and i think that's what taught me that's when i changed and the podcast yeah actually yeah

i would say i'm a different from just before the pod to now of course there's been a lot of growing in that time but also just having that platform and all of a sudden being we're all sticking together and looking after each other yeah and being like most of us and being like this is me and people being like oh you're all right yeah i don't mind that so i would honestly say though as well don't put all your eggs in one basket with men because this is where you will end up having it all knocked down if something goes yeah so if your confidence is based on how a man sees you which again honestly and affirmations of men and men saying you're pretty yeah or that you're attractive the problem with that is if that's where your confidence comes from another person's

view of you you can't control that and it's never right like one man might not find you attracted but the next might so if you put all your confidence and all your power into what someone else thinks of you you can't control that no which means like you said one day you can feel great because you've had a reply like you look so fit today but that also means the next day you can feel fucking awful because you didn't get a reply to your selfie saying how fit you are so that's something that you need to be very careful of as well what do you think like what's your do you think you've always been confident i think you've always been quite from when i was quite confident really young um yeah I think because my mum as well we speak about this a lot like our mums have

helped us with that and they've just kind of let us be whoever we want and you are your most confident self when you are your true authentic self because you don't have to overthink anything you think take me as I am and here you go but then when I went to high school a lot of people didn't like that confidence that I'd had from like primary school and it was a bit and then I i started kind of like what you said fit to size yeah you should never fit to size but at that age of course you're gonna fit to size it's a case of kind of it's like in the primal whatever it's either fit in or fuck i'll be left out so i think during that time it's a survival thing at school you want you don't want to be bullied you want to be you want to be the popular one you want to be

that so if you have to mold yourself into that girl it's a survival thing because you don't want to be the outcast and i just think school as well what you have to remember is school you are all forced you're all from different walks of life you're all totally different and you all get forced into one classroom for eight hours learning the same stuff at the same level when some of you are great at one thing some at the other but you're all learning the same like him in the workplace for example there can be really toxic workplaces where you sat in a tiny office i've had it before like working 12 hours a day with someone who is a total opposite of me and luckily because i've been through all of that i kind of thought oh fuck you i'm not letting you like

just because you're older than me doesn't make any difference you're not going to speak to me in like shit um so i remember i started this job um it was at the private hospital and me and this other lady had started the job on the same day and we'd both been brought in to do the same role but i would look after half of the doctors and she would look after the other half but i think she'd been there for about five days more than me because i was on garden leave and then i started and when i went in she's not older than you yeah right she was about 10 years older than me and um when i went in she made out to me that she was my boss and did you so you thought that she was yeah i just like went along with it and then one day my boss was your boss not your boss

you're the same um and i remember i used to like we'd sit with our backs to each other in this tiny office with no one pulling faces at the laptop at each other no literally um and she was like your nails keep tapping and it's really annoying me and i felt like saying well you breathe loud fuck off and then like she'd say other things to me like oh gosh you wear so much makeup you smell of it and stuff like that and like i'd be like i'd spray perfume in the toilet and i'll come in and she'd be like and i was like and it got to a point where i just literally made her feel shit i started ignoring it and i'd sit there and i'd kind of get even more get a bit of a kick out of it out of it yeah um and and it really made this lady that was 10 years older

than me very angry and uncomfortable and uncomfortable that i wasn't letting her boss you boss me or knock me down um but that confidence came from luckily i had a really good manager who was like you're doing great yeah you know policy all of those things but i think confidence as well we've learned like getting i don't know a boob job right you you have it in your head everything's going to change when i get this boob job and i'm going to be a new person and everything's going to get fixed and i'm going to wear different clothes i'm going to be sick that's not true no confidence comes from the way you hold yourself um the way you speak to yourself in your head yeah that is a big thing like no no it's true you you people we always say don't we like would

you speak to your best friend the way you speak to yourself and i think one of the first things with trying to get more confidence is thinking about what are you saying to yourself in your brain. Because if somebody said that to you all the time, or if you said that to your mom or your best friend all the time, you would knock their confidence. If you've got a voice in your head saying, you're not good enough, your nose is too big, that looks horrible on you. If you're going to let that voice be there, that's the only voice that you've got forever and ever. So I think you've got to start by accepting who you are. Now, it's a funny one because you know where, you know, i say pro surgery we're not pushing it but we're we're all for it and i do think in certain

occasions a boob job will help your confidence a little bit but what like what you're saying it's not the be all and end all if you're still talking mentally if you're still saying horrible things to yourself and you still don't like yourself a pair of tits or a new nose is not going to make you like yourself what it's going to do is then make you go and focus on somewhere else