Nip Tuck - How to be good in bed

Episode Date: August 6, 2024

Do we think we’re good in bed? We give you our best sex tips on today's episode! And is faking orgasms a bad idea?We carry on the sex chat over on this week’s bonus episode….to sign up to Patreon click the link below...patreon.com/niptuckpodMusic courtesy of BMG Production MusicSponsors Spectrum one hair extensions are sponsoring our live show and they're doing a GIVEAWAY to win a hair makeover. For details on how to enter click the link below..https://www.spectrumonehair.com/pages/nip-tuck-giveawayAnd if you want a discount code for Spectrum then use our Code NIPTUCK10 for 10% everything off their websiteDoll beauty are also sponsoring our live show and we LOVE their products - use our code NIPTUCK for 30% off Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

guys hi and welcome to nip tuck not giving a what not giving a fuck not giving a fuck you're awful not giving a fuck no you're not good at it what's manchester me i need to think about jane mate not giving a fuck no i'm not good at this that's burning again let's let's scrap it um hey here we go i'm good at scottish right nip tuck not giving a fuck see aren't i aren't i good at it right what have you been doing what's going on we are so busy at the minute aren't we i just feel like we've got such a million different things to sort out i'm getting married in soon soon um i am packing for loads of kids like oh i tell you what i had done yesterday planage with a can with a cannula oh okay so you you look a lot better than me

unpleasant yeah not nice i don't like but that's why you don't get the bruising as much i had the micro micro droplets of it yeah i did that under the eye and i look like a avatar yeah no so she made a little incision oh god you have the bruised aren't they that's why i've got hat and glasses on um your under eyes look good though um so i had it tiny i hate anything done with a cannula it knocks me but i think it's because we know what's what you know what's going on there's this thing and she says when they say i'm gonna fan it with a candy and i could feel it like popping in my throat it's made such a difference on my tummy listen to this so my mom had it her cheek she looks so she's had it on her cheeks but not around her mouth yet because she had to go to the dentist

something anyway and i went for dinner with her yesterday me and my friend and my friend was like liz your cheeks are like they're like mine there's no line on her cheek and she's 70 um so skin address have done it for her and she's just she's looking really good she's had photo fab yet yeah and she's hard as nails that one frankie couldn't fit me in so she's coming in to do me oh that's not um a friday i i need to have my chest and arm done arms done desperately hurts so bad it hurts and i don't know where i can fit it it's brilliant though it's brilliant and it's it's good but i don't know you need the downtime after if you've got anything fake tan really you shouldn't be putting that on until it's fully healed and i just don't

think i've got the time for it so i don't know and we've got a really exciting day on monday yeah we've got a photo shoot haven't we on monday we have and we'll have done it by the time this goes out anyway oh god wow this is like i messaged actually the day like i feel like a real business owner and a real grown-up at the minute yeah because we're having like conversations we're signing things off rebrand we are we're having a rebrand the images that we did have i mean they we're done in an office i'm quite sure christina said we look like old slappers yeah she did she did say that no let me clarify that so i remember going for lunch you said what you said i remember going for lunch with ashley and i just went your artwork and she was like we look like whores

she said and she gave you the go-ahead to say yeah yeah it's not it's not the artwork i don't mind the actual the everything about it it's the picture yeah you don't look like you two it doesn't look like you we look not you're snarling in it yeah i'm like you're like you're like and i'm like like it's horrible my hair the whole thing is not and it was done in an office it was done in an office with a backdrop so fucking hell we did the best with a bad job anyway um so we're redoing all that we're not gonna fill you in yeah on everything but we've got some big shit going on yeah yeah we have we've got a lot in the next four weeks we've got lots going on it's really exciting but we're having to be like actual grown-ups aren't we yeah and if these

pictures come out good then we want to do something for you guys with them something fun yeah oh yes we do we do want to do something fun with them yeah yeah yeah um stick them on dildos and stuff and you can buy a personalized right okay this conversation is going in the wrong way can i just say something that i've been thinking about so sometimes i have like a you know just a thought that comes to my head and i think i want to talk well i just want to mention that so i was thinking right recently when i go obviously we've spoken a lot recently about organic about tap water about this that the other metals this that the other and i was thinking like recently now when i do my food shop i have started to make small changes so you'll laugh at this i'm behind i agree but

things like bread I buy sourdough now yeah yeah and I didn't used to do that before because I was like and I'm learning not make it like me anyway and then things like eggs I used to get free range always but never organic yeah and like things like when I get my chicken and I've just started making changes when I go to the supermarket and I started thinking to myself like why we're getting old I started thinking of why am I now making these changes and I think there's two reasons number one you especially have educated me a lot and i've started listening a lot more to things and because i'm getting older it becomes a bit more oh shit yeah the other thing is i have more x what's the word spare cash than i used to yeah and it's fucking expensive so then it got me on

to thinking so when i don't get me wrong i'm not saying i've ever been in poverty on the breadline i'm not saying that i've always had my house like but there have been times where literally when i've done the food shop i have been like how much is which is the most expensive that kind of thing yeah um and back in that day not that long ago i wouldn't i would have tried to save wherever i could so maybe if there was an organic and a non-organic option i wouldn't have gone for the organic option and now i'm in the position which is amazing and i'm very lucky to be able to make these small changes anyway that just got me onto thinking about people because we've got all different types of listeners on here about people that perhaps are not in the position to

do that yeah and i don't want anyone to ever feel like when we are saying like for example i was thinking about you with the tap water you're right you're right however if somebody is really struggling financially bottled water is more expensive a filter is more expensive tap water is free i know and i don't want anyone to ever listen and be like yeah like we're deluded yeah well no just to make them feel like i'm not looking after my kids well enough because i'm giving them tap water or i'm not eating oh my god we do the best that we can and and i i don't know i just had a really big thing about it this morning i thought i don't want anyone listening he was really struggling with the pennies which because he lives is so much more anyway they go

to it and do a food shop and they might see the organic version but think you know what fucking extra few quid and then with the eggs and then with the and yeah so i just if you're listening and and you're not in a position where you've got that definitely then please i don't ever want to come across food is actually cheaper yeah and i get it like making say a lasagna from scratch i know unfortunately it does come in plastic packaging and yeah yeah so i just wanted if you're listening i don't ever want us to come across where we make people feel shit you do the best that you can do with what you have but not everyone's in the same position so just wanted to say we're all doing our best yeah and it is fucking expensive to make those changes holidays

make my food shop do you know there's loads of places that that do free school meals really yeah let me tell you now so kids eat free or for less this summer so ikea you kids can eat a 95p meal every day after 11 a.m except friday now look might not be the most nutritious in the world but look if if you need it it's here harvester kids eat for one pound yo sushi kids eat free all day with every 10 pound adult spend prezzo kids get three courses free with every adult meal dunelm premier in travel lodge brewers fair bella italia which i actually don't mind kids eat free all day every thursday bills which is really nice but listen to this one up to two kids eat free all day when one adult purchases a meal that's really if you go with your two kids

they're free tgi fridays as the kids eat for a pound all day sainsbury's tesco and morrison's so one of my friends sent it in the group chat and i just thought it's good because sometimes you need to get out the fucking house with them and going out for food you spend more in the six week holidays because you go out for food with them don't you try and entertain them and it cost a fucking fortune anyway hope that helped right girls one of our most asked questions is about our hair so i've obviously chopped mine off recently but i'm not gonna lie i still have a full head of extensions in to get the thickness obvious yeah i mean it's shorter but we still need the volume. So I have worn Spectrum One hair extensions since the very beginning and I am really good

friends with the girls. I've gone to Spectrum One for my hair for, I'm going to say 12 years and they always get it exactly right. So hair extensions, you need them to feel amazing and they absolutely do. So one of the most important things with hair extensions is that the quality is good and it feels amazing. Spectrum One extensions are the best genuinely that I have ever, ever used and I've used loads. So they come in 36 colours, three different lengths. But the other thing is there are four different methods that you can get them in. So you can get the weave, the tapes, the eye tips and the nanos. Personally, I actually have a genius weave, which is a really, really thin weave underneath. And then now and again, depending how I feel, I will have some tapes on the top as well.

It is honestly amazing. So Spectrum are one of our amazing sponsors for our sold out show, But they're also doing a fantastic giveaway on their Instagram page, which we have pinned on our Instagram page as well. One lucky person can win their own mega hair transformation at Spectrum One Hair Extensions. All you have to do is simply head over to our pinned post on Instagram for full details of how to enter via email sign up. So head over and check it out. it's also worth mentioning guys we often get asked what shampoo and conditioner we use with hair extensions you have to use the right type and sometimes you think you are but you don't know the actual ingredients so because of that and to look after their amazing

extensions they've actually brought out spectrum one shampoo and conditioner it's all you need to care for your own hair plus your extensions as well i've been using it and i don't have extensions and i am obsessed yeah but when you did have them you had spectrum didn't you yes always yes you were converted i'm having a little break because obviously postpartum hair loss hit me hard and i just want to have a little break but i will be getting my extensions put back in we have got a discount code so nip tuck 10 will get you 10 of everything on their website i honestly you can order the hair there and give it to your hairdresser if you're quite far away they do a color match service their color matching is incredible they have so many different colors

i hand on heart have had them since day one and i haven't found a brand that i love more the competition closes on the 9th of august guys so be quick before we move on into like the episode i've got a really bizarre funny story for you so um i have to leave bits out because it's like people legal it's in legal hands at the minute so i was having a catch-up with some friends and they'd just come back from marbella right and they'd been on someone's 40th birthday right and they were staying in a hotel a big brand of hotels um and inside the hotel it had a bar and it had this bear you know those big bears no yeah you do stand like that and sell them in selfridges i thought

you meant a taxidermy not a real bear stuffed no what are they called those bears they sell them in selfridges and everyone's mad for them um i'll tell you i'll show you and you'll know what i mean selfridges bear um ornament like that's what they're called bear brick yes yeah and they come in all different like so that is 600 quid that bear right so anyway they were in this bar like lego almost yeah it's called bear bear brick if anyone wants to yeah if anyone wants to look anyway so they're in this bar and they had this fucking huge bear yeah and it was like painted and someone in their group broke the bear and they said the sound of the bear breaking like everyone it wasn't a break where you could just turn around and walk the other way you know

like every it sounded like something bad had happened so the bear's foot had broken off anyway the police were called no then the bear was worth 180 grand oh well they should have the correct insurance listen to this the police were called um they all got their passports taken off them fuck off they were not allowed to leave the hotel unless they paid two grand to get their passport back the artist that made the bear came no i started swearing at them then the police came and yeah it ruined the whole holiday and i'm sorry but if you've got a bear in a hotel in a nightclub it was in a nightclub it went like a bar anybody could be there pissed not pissed sober anybody you could hurt yourself on the bear well i would have said i hurt myself on the bear actually that's

what i thought so anyway they were looking at the cctv and they were like were they pissed by the way yes of course they were looking at the cctv and they were like it was that one and that one and anyway yeah so they've come home and they've had to like speak to their insurance luckily they had holiday insurance how do you speak to a company hi i wonder if you could help me i've broken a bear's foot yeah it's all going through on the cctv are they like pissed i bet i don't know one of them like staggers into it and they're all going imagine how funny and then someone else told me a really another funny story sorry we're like rambling at this point but it is what it is um one of my friends lives in dubai and she was like we're moving house because our house is

haunted and i was like is there haunted houses in dubai yeah i wouldn't have thought it's a kind of place for hauntedness do you know what i mean and it's all new it's all new and man-made there's no like old dead people said it where she lives the houses are built on an ancient burial ground can you not because my houses are built on an old hospital so can you not before that's why it's can't say yeah it's on an old hospital can you not so anyway so her and husband had like had like a few incidents i won't bore you with all of that but like things smashing yeah the night like both seeing things at a certain point on the stairs so i don't know how but her husband ended up finding this italian woman who he had to facetime to do an exorcism basically on the house

which cost 500 quid or so i think it was no it's more than i bet she's just an alky that sits there and pretends and then goes it was like three grand this exorcism thing and he had a face time that is over facetime and it took like five hours and he had to like sage every bit of wall like this while he was on facetime to the sword and she kept shouting at him going like you're doing it wrong and she said she was just watching him like and then she was like no you're doing wrong and he was like after like three hours he was like plugging his phone in blah blah then at the end of the call they were like oh we're not talking about that again hopefully it's worked anyway something else happened he gets back on

the phone to this woman and she's like yes there's a portal in your house and there's not a lot we can do what and it's a portal to the other side yeah and that that is always near the stairs if it's something near the stairs anyway then this big parcel came and she was like what's this and he was like i i had to buy it off the woman and she opened it up and it was this tiny house with the key in it shut up and they had to it was a short time that was 500 quid and they had to put it on the stairs and then like a fairy door it still was well this is all bullshit i mean if they're paying x amount of money someone's just having them on there surely well therefore i mean if you've got the money and you're desperate i mean i would do anything to get rid of a ghost

how scary is that that is scary but guys i don't want to hear your um ghost stories because i like to totally ignore that as if it's not a thing because i get really frightened on my own 100% anyway i don't even think about it if is there any like actual mediums that listen or any actual i don't want to hear you go stories like actual people that do it as a job or that have that third eye fourth eye sixth eye whichever eye it is um that have like more eyes than me and have that like i am a white witch or whatever can you tell us can you what are you laughing at i thought they were oh well whatever book about how to be a witch and it tells you loads of really good spells and one of them is if there's someone that you're like don't quote me on this because

can't quite remember we're not going to absolutely but me and my friend are obsessed with it and it says you write their name on a piece of paper and put it inside water and then you freeze it in the freezer and what happens like they're away from you then oh i can think of something i find it so interesting anyway this has got this has gone broke if there's anyone that does that kind of why men like witches or whatever can you use the um again so we see an email or dm do a big header of which or something or i'm just interested if anyone does it and if it's real have you had your like tarot cards read or anything i've had i don't believe any of that shit mine's been true every single time has been true a couple of times yeah last one that i went to see knew i was

pregnant with snow and it was like two weeks before my period did she see your instagram story is that how she knows no i i didn't know i'll be honest girl and everything i don't really believe in that i do you know what i would like to do i haven't done it for years i'd like to go and see what are they called that actually speak to dead people they medium medium not a fortune teller an actual person who's going to sit there like one minute bruce are you in the room i've tried that it didn't work and and did you feel shit yeah i was a bit pissed off but i'd be interested i think it depends on how open you are anyway let's let's let's move on right let's move on girlies as you know we have a show coming up we are so excited and we have got so much fun

planned haven't we lauren we are so excited it's going to be amazing unreal unfortunately not everyone could get tickets but our friends at doll beauty managed to secure two they did they did a little giveaway and some lovely listeners managed to win two tickets and a full doll makeover lauren is there anything like a doll beauty makeover it takes you from zero to a hundred it is life-changing so i'm so excited and it was one of our patreon girls that happened to win it they picked it it was random so it's nice isn't it honestly doll beauty is one of our absolute favorite makeup brands it's a staple in my makeup bag i love the lip liners i love the lipsticks i love the bronzer the new primer absolutely the primer bangs honestly now the girls at doll beauty

are sponsoring our show i love that love that and we are going to have some amazing giveaways on the night but we have something for you listeners as well even if you can't make it to the show we do we've got a discount code for you you know we always come through it is nip tuck and that's going to get you 30 off full price items so it doesn't include your sales and bundles but everything else it is 30 off so let me just tell you some of our faves right your favorites first run the world lip liner dolled out lipstick and i love the bronzer right so for me one of my fave products is the jumbo solid start brush so it's the smaller like foundation brush that is absolutely incredible real no they really are and they're really fair price wise so the other one

that i use for all my like concealer under the eye is the solid start hard to say with the list mini sculpting brush you know that little one yeah i use that now it's 10 pounds and with our discount it goes down to seven it's unreal it's amazing get yourself stocked up my loves so head over to doll beauty you can check them out on instagram and on their website also their tiktok is very fun right let's get into the fucking episode okay so let's talk about sex baby we've had a dm from one of you and you want to know how to be good in bed lauren read it out i'm not the message i'm not thinking about how to be good in bed girls help i think i'm bad in bed and i need some tips i wonder what's led us to think of this i'm in my early 30s i've been

single for a good few years and i've only had the odd situation shit with guys where we usually only sleep together once and that's it it's a one night stand darling uh a recent one it's not a situationship a recent one i was giving the guy head and he sorry and he told me to stop because it said it was like a cheese grater oh no so first thing teeth are a no yeah um i can tell you that and afterwards when we had sex he just didn't see him into it nor was i to be fair safe to say there will be no more dates how do you ever feel like you're shit in bed can i improve right okay so blow jobs uh a totally separate thing that i think maybe we should do um an episode on that we bought that book the good blowjob guide yeah i don't know what we took away from it i think i think

i'm good at blowjobs i mean i've not had any complaints like that same and i mean james says i am but you'll say that to every girl yeah yeah when i don't want to shag uh so i'll give you blowy um james says i'm very good at it but he would wouldn't he he's not gonna say i'm shit he wants more of them best i've ever had oh yes i've heard that one before so i think with the blowjobs that's like a totally separate thing so maybe comment below with your blowjob tips yeah maybe we get some blowjob tips yeah and we put them all together i think that that's a whole separate thing and if we're talking about the set i think the sex is a different like you say yeah job is actually a technique yeah yeah it is and it's not really a right it's a technique

and wanking is a whole separate whereas i think the sex depends on a lot of different factors yeah so first of all if the chemistry if you'd already said that about the cheese grater you were probably already feeling pretty shit about yourself and nervous yeah the main thing and we say it a lot and i think you hear it a lot is confidence in the bedroom men don't care about your belly about your saggy tits or about your whatever you're worried about your flaps your dangly flat brown butthole they actually don't care as long as you are showing it off and not giving a shit what from my experience with my male friends the worst thing is having sex with a girl that is uncomfortable like arch that back honey i can't i can't do that but that is uncomfortable

and that is trying to hide areas and trying to and like you you give body language if you get a girl that is swinging around not ask what she looks like bend over show me the butthole they want to see the gods yeah yeah they're dirty they want to see the gods and so i think having that confidence and taking control and pretending that you know what you're doing pretend because then they think you do and then you play i think you should play a character that's always my answer if you're ever nervous about something play a character and like tell yourself you're that character so when you get in there you are a confident sexy woman and you are great in bed and then just go wild go wild now i saw this tiktok and it's like one of the most

few tiktoks about how to be good in bed because we were we had a chat about this and we were like what is being good in bed and you know is there any like specific things like yeah do you remember that fucking magazine that used to have position of the week and if they were like random things my personal opinion is that it's not about the position like why would you get yourself into an incredibly uncomfortable position you're thinking the whole time you're like ah and then when your brain's going you're disconnected from the vagina it's like trying to do like a reform of pilates thing yeah you can't think about everything at once do you think you're good in bed yeah i think i am i think there've been times when i've not

been good in bed the occasion can you just not make this into a clip please but do you i don't i don't know if you ever have you know the fart that haunts you oh fanny fart no the shark that haunts you where you just know it wasn't and you weren't like what what did you do were you pissed or something yeah there's been a there's been a flashback that's the next day there's been occasions where i haven't been sober um and then the next day i thought i think that's a good point to make as well like don't do it like you need to be in the room yeah but at the same time a bit of a drink does loosen you but blackout does not so there's been an occasion and there's a particular oh no i think i need to be careful here um yeah there's just times that

i've looked back and thought oh i don't think i performed well there and it haunts you that shit haunts you because you don't want someone going around saying that you didn't perform well absolutely not a friend of mine um a girl that i know split up with a boyfriend over and done with but the last shag they had wasn't that great and that's how they remember you she couldn't so she shagged him again good and i bet she fucking i said why did you go back she went oh i'm not interested she said i just needed that last shag to be the dirtiest that turned up in a mac the lot yeah actually smashed him in and then she said that's what he'll remember you don't do the whole underwear thing like i do i don't do that at all i'll be honest i do none of that right i'm gonna

um for your wedding present buy you an underwear set that you've got to wear for james and she's got to feed back he just won't care can i say something he just wants to see my fanny yeah can i say something controversial people may frown upon me on this i don't think it's to do with the i don't think it's down to the woman i think in a way you're yes you're only as good as the man yes because they're the ones that can instruct you yeah and if you're feeling it you you're so right christina if you're feeling it and you're feeling that chemistry and you're coming out yeah and they're into you because you're not gonna go to him like yes bend over no you know what i mean you don't want to go in there like a fake porn star like oh look at me

anyone can do that yeah if the man is he's saying dirty things and he's up for it and he's saying fucking body looks amazing then you're like oh yeah it's true it's true yeah and and you exactly so you know what men it's your fault if we're so anyway anyway it's your fault back to back to blaming men so this lady on tiktok she's only got three tips on how to be good in bed three tell me perfect that's all i can remember that and this video has had like millions of views five hundred and eleven thousand likes and 76 000 people have saved this for later all right number one avoid rushing at all costs i agree like let's slow it down what does she mean because i think i what i watched this and i think she means when when she says avoid rushing she

means to build up yes yeah you have to make them chase you well no not that it's more when you're you know kissing and yeah yeah yeah yeah so she's saying more foreplay well women need foreplay which i don't think men understand all the time so take that take it we've all been there where you're like whoa okay um yeah okay so the build-up and the foreplay is important be enthusiastic when it feels good because then you're giving them a guide yeah but right i'll be honest there have been times where i had to be enthusiastic throughout the whole thing absolutely when it didn't feel good but i also didn't want them to think it wasn't good and talk about that at the end because we need to talk about faking orgasms and how actually we're ruining it for ourselves

ask them what they want listen and do it again and again and again well that's it then i'm going to be wanking james off for about a year what's your another one another one another one you can have a wank you can have a wank and you can have a wank um yeah yeah to be honest that'd be what mine would say as well um but have you ever have you ever faked an orgasm yeah loads obviously in my in my sexual life yeah yeah loads anything that wasn't a relationship probably was faked yeah in my opinion there's two types of fake orgasms okay number one type type a type a faking orgasms is when you're in a new thing and you want to be you know is this going to happen again want it to be good like what we were saying before yeah and you're like oh yeah yeah great and it's new and

you think i'll be able to train them yeah and you want him to think that it was great no one's coming the first time they have sex are they then the second one is that i've had enough now i'm bored let's speed it let's speed this up agree there's two yeah so i think that the worst one is the first one because they then think so you sleep with a guy for the first time and he thinks that doing x y and z is going to make you have an orgasm and then he also thinks the trap that can be fallen into is that he thinks god that was easy so he thinks that you have an orgasm quite easily it's not like let's not do this to ourselves and they think when i did that that's when it happened when really you will but also let's then turn it round and head fuck them and

maybe lie they're like and if they go did you come like the first few times you've had sex just be like no no and then they'll be like right then i'm on a mission go for it but do you think if you're getting in a relationship with someone and at the beginning you fake it it's potentially going to be very difficult to actually get to the position yeah and also all these men walk away like oh i made her i made her come five times i made a squirt i've heard this before i've heard this before and then you get the girl's version i've heard this before right from two friends that slept together that i know separately i did her in she loved it she what is she at oh my god she'd come about three times honestly like one happened and then i spoke to her and she was like

it was all right i faked it because like it'd been going on and i felt really guilty so i just faked it and i was like yeah amazing and i think that's really common and i think men a lot of the time and then they go no i know if she's faking it how please let me tell you you don't bro you do not whereas men can't really fake it can they like it's quite but i think it's not fair that the men gets the ending it's that's the ending of the sex when men finish that is the ending of the sex isn't it pretty that's it it's done what women doesn't end a man a woman finishing it doesn't end the sex and man finishing it ends it it's funny that isn't it it's not fair that it's not fair it's not fair so what do you think of like sex toys in the bedroom with two people

i don't mind them i i've said before i you i'll use them here and there spicy yc but i think if you if you're quite happy with what you've got going on and it's doing well