Nip Tuck - How to Handle a Crisis?

Episode Date: July 30, 2024

We get a lot of dilemmas sent to us - so today we thought we would give you our guide on how to handle specific problems. Baby Daddy’s leaving us, handling debt, how to build confidence, and dealing with internal slut shaming. And as we’re at home this week we go through our make-up bags! And as this is very visual we put the entire section on a video for you over on Patreon. Also if you’re a Patreon member you can enter our giveaway for live show tickets - giveaway closes on Monday evening. So sign up to our page NOW…niptuckpod/patreon.com Music courtesy of BMG Production Music  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

You've heard us talk about Patreon before. You get an extra episode on there. There's lots of chats. We write blogs. We do giveaways. There's all kinds of fun on there. It's like a little community. Well, actually, it's growing quite big. And you guys on there have been doing meetups. Everyone's offering advice. It's literally active pretty much 24 hours a day. Honestly, when I open my eyes in the morning, one of the first apps that I log into now is my Patreon. And I'm like, what is going on with the Nip Tuck gang on there? Now, if you're not on there, you are missing out. And if this isn't your sign to join, I don't know what is. So we are doing a giveaway on our Patreon whereby you can win two VIP tickets for our

sold out show on the 9th of August. So if you head over to our Instagram page, there's instructions on there of how to join patreon run don't walk guys this is literally your last chance to get tickets and because it's only on patreon you have a much higher chance of winning welcome to nip tuck not giving a fuck i've got the giggles really really bad this is the podcast where we celebrate being positive aspirational women women um right so we're recording from home today fuck knows how this is gonna turn out oh honestly we have just been crying no i've got actual tears rolling down my face christina has just shredded us so badly like we just came on then so basically we've got our headphones on and we join and what's the point in putting any makeup

on when i've rolled out of bed and we could all see each other and then christina just looks at us both and to be fair ashley you look fucking not good either you don't your face doesn't your face doesn't look bad but just your whole what is your hair i've never seen you do that with your hair in my life so she's got this these big glasses on and this like high pony but like so high that it's making like i look like a karen right now yeah you do you do and i look like a crackhead so christina just said like look at us both like morning girls and she went you you do you know that we've probably going to be taking some video clips from this and we were both like yes and your point is and then when you do hello is that hr for crowd network our boss is being

really mean to us and then as soon as i joined us she was like you look really pale and then when you join it tastes like a snapshot of you and christina has been crying like i've just filmed actual tears at mine because as she said it looks like an american crackhead it does take the when they take their um mug shots we're gonna put it in patreon your hair is like why you actually look really nice you do you actually look really nice i think it's because you're compared to me but i look like poo you look like less poo anyway i've got we've got no makeup on we don't need to like i'm really tired today i feel like a long ass weekend it has now this episode's not going to be out at the same time so we don't need to like go into deets about this but

it didn't come home so whatever can i just actually say something really quickly on this right you know when people go on holiday and say never coming home and you're like no but you are karen because your flight's booked on tuesday yeah yeah and they're like um you'll find me here for the foreseeable never coming home yeah no you are you are coming home you're easy jets booked on on tuesday you are coming home karen um it's i mean i've probably done it in the past you definitely have i've definitely done it but that gives me the same feeling as when the lads and james did it last night and honestly for the first time in however many years i felt unwell he wrote we're not coming it's we're not coming home honestly if i see one more person the football

not coming up and neither am i well you are gonna go home though aren't you at least he's not hung over is he no but like i don't understand it like we're not coming home no but you are going home you have to go home i was only there to see megan's outfits and she absolutely smashed every single one didn't she she did she looked amazing i didn't even i'll be honest i had an led mask on and i was watching um telly with thea in bed i didn't even just nothing but anyway it didn't come home really sad but good on the lads for uh giving it a good the only time that i would be genuinely interested in the football and if it was coming home is if i was married to one of the people on the england school that we'd be really good at that wouldn't we yeah i'd be very interested

then we'd always end up getting pissed and shouting i saw there's a girl that i follow and she went on a hen and a broad hen and it was gorgeous she's a lovely girl it was beautiful or her and all the friends they went to a villa they had a chef come in and make like a beautiful like outside thing and they had all match oh it's gorgeous and then they went on a boat trip and they all wobbled it was gorgeous and I just looked and then one night they were playing cards and and then they all looked really nice and they went out for dinner and came home and they did yoga in the morning and it looked fantastic and I just looked at it and thought that's not what I would have I would plan that like if we went on something like that we would get absolutely

fucking steaming be hung over and we just wouldn't fight with each other fight with each other and i just thought i wish i was that girl that could have that wholesome weekend but i would ruin the entire weekend and go home in tears full of bruises yeah i just wish i was that girl oh my god also can i just say the poor people whose weddings were yesterday oh yes a friend of mine had a christening yesterday a friend of mine got married when it was the world cup like final and she said it was like playing like when they were like having their dinner and stuff and she said all the men had their fucking phones set up watching it oh no how fuming would you be you'd be absolutely gutted that's why guys if you're planning your wedding be careful be careful because you just

don't know do you you never know um yeah that would be really bad i would absolutely hate that uh what anyway can you tell us about your weekend okay um because you went to london it all looked really very poosh i am very poosh you are very poosh i was in oh i got fucky i went to a play center and then went home and drank a bottle of prosecco at my mate's house prosecco gives you the worst hangover i was fine because of my electrolytes genuine anyway go on tell us tell us tell us like you never tell because you put a lot on your close friends but tell us like the full the luxury like people love to hear it like what could we live like tell us um ed doesn't get much time off work but he was like right i'm gonna take you away for the weekend so he booked it all

himself well someone will yeah um and he took me to the peninsula it was honestly the best hotel i've ever stayed in in london whereabouts is it um near hyde park yes so it was absolutely beautiful the spa was we were the only people in the spa oh god the spa looked beautiful it was stunning um we went to park chinois for dinner we went to the peninsula we've got like a rooftop restaurant we went there tell us because on your pictures you're in the back of the car with a driver was that one that you booked do you get it from the whole house so in if you stay at any peninsula it's the same at the one in paris i've stayed at that one before um which by the way is kim kardashian's favorite hotel um if you stay at one of those hotels you get a house

driver so they've got like all these like rolls royces like uh taxi things and you get it free if it's within three mile radius of the hotel that's fucking so if you think how much you spend you just walk out and they and they go where are you going madam and you just get in and go and they've got drinks in the car like it's because i think the thing is if you um i'm just gonna do a quick google because i want to know how much it was if you do um if you think right how much it costs for ubers cabs blah blah blah you can kind of take that off your room bill which kind of like makes it feel not as bad to be spending that kind of money i mean let's see i'm gonna see how much it is peninsula so tell us more go on what did you do where did you go

tell us more while i'm searching for the peninsula i went shopping and there was absolutely nothing nothing like it's such a weird time in the shops isn't it you know because summer we've not really had one it's been and gone and then i'm not a summer clothing kind of girl no yeah oh maybe it's not the same as the cost of an uber um no i i don't my someone's just come in my house one minute who's that someone's just walked into my house but i don't know who it is i'll be on one more james i'll have come back wanting another snog um right sorry we're talking about clothes stop that so i went shopping and there was absolutely fuck all in the shops what like in the designer shops there's nothing you fancied like were you on a bit of a promise to

get a little treat and there was just nothing well i always get a treat but like even that well actually i did i got a necklace um oh i saw that how i thought for your wedding that's a i also thought for my wedding i did i was buying it and it's just like a pearl chanel necklace and that necklace i've wanted for ages and it's always out of stock did you get it from the chanel shop yeah yeah yeah not from dh gate um no and then i didn't know if it had been like in one of the little you know like um the vintage shops i go in yeah i go in all these mad vintage shops i've uh i've told the girls on patreon what they're called anyway i went in and i was like i went to the bond street one which is over three floors and i was like do you have this and they were like no and

then i went in harrods and i was like by any chance do you have this and he was like madam we have just got two in stock so he went in the back and pulled one out for me and when i was buying it i thought lauren can wear this on a wedding thanks for thinking of me um right okay so you had a good time you look gorgeous your makeup look really nice as well amelia did my makeup from charlotte did you pick any makeup tips up for from us she didn't use a beauty blender i don't use them i can't use them she used this like stubby brush that she worked all of the products into my skin like kind of yeah yeah like hard but it came out like stunning i don't use a beauty blender i just not very good at it and it streaks up my face so i don't use that's why like because

i put my makeup on and then towards the end of the day it's all like i don't know not sitting right so maybe yeah her setting spray really is the best isn't it i use that setting spray i do what the hell has it got in it to make it so good i don't know but i do think it works i do feel like it definitely works because look when i go on a night out when i get in i do not look like i did when i went out whether i put setting spray on whether i spray myself with gold jizz it does not stay on no no no i'm sorry that fucking urban decay all nighter setting spray does it work mate you could be having like a fucking gangbang yeah and people could be jizzing on your face and your makeup would still be on i had a shark this morning did you yeah i'm not

normally so james went out last night for the 40 and he's going to be so embarrassed that i'm about to tell you this but i'm going to do it anyway anyway he came home and he's pissed up and i heard him staggering around he had he's eating crisps what time did he come in at about one i think um and i didn't sleep well because i never do when he's out and he came staggering in and i could hear him like and like he stunk of beer and he's like eating crumpets why do they smell so bad when they've been out with the boys yeah and it's that certain smell of like deep breath in their sweat glands like it's really stinky yeah um maybe and he was like giggling and like hiccuping and stuff and i was like do you have a good night he's like yeah and then he went

i've still got it and i went oh no he didn't he did and he went he was showing off that girls went over to him he said and he's he's such a geek and he's like i definitely still got it and i said oh did you get loads of attention then and he was just like did you get jealous no and but what he did say is i mean of course he's gonna i'd fucking stare at him as i'd push him in the toilet um what i'd no i'm not gonna say i um what he did say is he did say that um he got loads of our listeners going up to him really he said yeah he said that loads of the listeners went up to him and were like so he said one particular girl she might be listening no he didn't say her name um went over to him was like my friends have all told me to leave you alone

and like not bother you while you're just out with your friends but i can't help it and she's like tell ashley and lauren that we love him and loads of people going up to him and then he said to me like obviously i don't want to and i'm not gonna he said but i could no way have pulled like he's like i couldn't cheat on you he said because everybody knows your back yeah yeah it was like everyone's got your back everyone was like knew we were he said if i'd have gone home with a girl you'd have been told then 10 minutes later right so i was quite pleased about that this is a thing have you seen all this stuff about ndas recently so you know what an nda is a non-non-disclosure agreement right so nda is the other day we nearly made the lady doing our pedicure sign one

because of the shit that was coming out honestly it was mad um so in america ndas are so rife that you can now download this app on your phone where so they could do it there yeah yeah i must say i've signed one before where well i can't tell you much more but it was in los angeles and i was going into a party and i had to sign one a few of my friends um have as well i don't think they can actually pull you up on it though can they yeah if you took pictures yeah also there was um i was reading in the news and basically there was a plastic surgeon that within his paperwork all of his patients didn't realize but they were signing an nda so that they could never leave a negative review on him you need to read your paperwork how bad is that um and so go on

the nda thing it did it didn't stand in um in court that one i know i bet i bet no i've never i um when i was in dubai once i had to put my phone somewhere before getting on a boat to get when they put the sticker over the camera yeah and nothing which i totally get like i get it yeah do you know what like my friends recently were in ibiza and they ended up somewhere with someone who does have a wife um i've told you the story about this yeah yeah i fucking forgot anyway long story short they all had to put their phones away and stuff but the thing is men are so stupid and also do you know what we would be like this if we were like rappers or footballers or just rich men we'd get really pissed yeah and then all these girls would be filming us yeah

and we'd be like falling over getting our dicks out yeah i get it and then what you're gonna do then like everyone i get it what are your thoughts on selling stories i think it's just not okay hun right i think it's not good i think it's not morally you shouldn't do someone like that yeah like blackmail them in secret yes i agree i think i don't agree however if i was at a party drake got his knob out i got a picture of it and the papers offered to be half a million pounds revenge porn so you wouldn't be allowed to do all right then drake was sniffing a fucking line whatever it's great it's finger in a girl allegedly whatever anyone came whatever and i hadn't signed anything and someone and someone came to me was like i'll give you half a mil for

that picture what your name would have to go with it oh no yeah no i'm talking about a lot i'd do for half a mil no way i'm talking about like what are they called kiss and tell oh no no and i also think like if it's small scale if you've slept with someone or if you have been at a party and and in someone's private environment and you've seen something that no that's shady it's fucking wrong i know a girl i'll never repeat anything like that no who actually made a career out of doing kiss and tells i mean the men if they're married they're stupid to do it in the first place and basically what she would do is she would go out like in manchester liverpool london and she would know who she was where she was going right who she was going to do it to and

basically she would fully for the whole night have them on toast like set up and she'd take them back to a hotel and then um her boyfriend would wait inside like the wardrobe or whatever they'd start getting down to business he'd come out with a camera first he'd come out with a camera and take a picture and go right then okay 10 grand cash or whatever and we won't talk about this again no uh-huh that is wild like an actual business but there are there are businesses by the way when you've got that face mask on you look like your sister um you did a minute ago you look much more like her i don't know why um also so it's like the fake shake thing isn't it oh my god that was absolutely horrific i mean i'm saving all of my celebrity kiss and tells for my um my book

your memoirs my memoir what would we call it lauren mine would be called slapdash mine would be called car crash i would not i know yours would be called some sneakers of a snowboard oh darling that's really really got a ring to it right we've spoken a bit shit now what the fuck's going on bing bong boo bing bong boo i did a poo right guys so we put a question box out and we asked like what kind of things you wanted us to talk about and a lot of the stuff that came back was like dilemmas and like that initial how to deal with something when shit's hit the fan um so then we asked some dilemmas and we thought what

we do is a quick fire sort of guide to crisis management so almost like chris jenner shit what did chris do when kim sex tape came out exactly crisis management and you won't you always need one thing that ashley is very very good at is crisis management and you all need a friend that you could and i'm actually quite good for other people and you need a friend that you can bring up and be like this has happened tell you who's good amy amy yeah yeah um one of our friends and you ring them and you go right this has happened and they go right let's get the wheels into motion what the fuck are we going to do yeah because your initial reaction to something is very important yeah yeah yeah first things first my baby daddy has left me and my newborn i mean you've just

got to crack on that's your crisis management crack on you are not listening well what what are you gonna do like right you can't like no first things first what are you gonna do yeah but i didn't i obviously i cracked on in general but like it's like what's your first like what do you have to do first things first sort your living situation out yeah are you gonna go and live with your mom for a bit that would all if you've got that relationship my advice would always be get the baby get yourself and go and move in with somebody if he's not gonna move out sort your living situation out immediately yeah secondly no begging if he's left you and your newborn then he can fucking do one so there's no no begging no trying to get him back it's all

factual you need to separate your initial emotion which trust me takes many years to get over that happening to you it took me a good probably three years to actually emotionally get over that happening oh god yeah it's a long long time why oh god it really fucked me up do you think it was like the whole like because it happened to me where i split up with baby daddy but i was okay yours was coming to an end you you don't know but i was kind of blindsided and just left like it was very sudden so you didn't very unexpected very not my choice yeah and it took me i realized when i look back now so obviously i got into a relationship quite quickly after he left so i think about four months and i met someone else um and she wasn't he wasn't right

for me. He was, I have nothing bad to say about him, but it wasn't right for me. And I did it because I wanted a family straight away. And, and, and looking back at it now, I actually wasn't okay for a, even when, so when I split up with narcissist and that was really bad, I think some of that was because I still hadn't dealt with being left by Theo's dad all those years ago. Because it's like, there's so many levels to it. Like it's like the wall's been, the rug's been pull from under your feet and like all of a sudden like your family's gone your plan's gone you everything it fucks your fucking head up so but in that moment i would take the emotional side to one one way and i would look at practical because although emotional needs dealing with

if you don't deal with practical then emotional is gonna not be helpful what would you have done differently than like therapy or wouldn't have begged him fucking hell what an embarrassing bastard um wouldn't have tried to get back with him wouldn't have given him the satisfaction of that and wasted my time thinking we were going to get back together I would have if I could go back and do it again I would have pretended much more than I did to him I would have been like right fine your decision mate yeah but then he probably would have come back for you and thank god he didn't yeah um but yeah I would have done that I moved in with my mum and dad straight away I think that's really important oh not dad because he's dead mum I think it's really important that

you sort your living situation out and then what i did very quickly and my mum made me do very quickly he sought the financial aspect out sat down you don't want to do this shit you do not want to do it wrote all my outgoings wrote my income where am i stuck what's gonna happen right what maintenance you're gonna give me i mean mine was practically nothing but like that kind of thing needs to be done immediately and you need to start thinking right where am i gonna live and you don't then yeah go and see a lawyer immediately sort out the um the how you're gonna immediately you don't want to you want to sit and cry that'll get you nowhere you're a mom now you've got another child you when you become a mom you've got a child to think about so

fucking stop feeling sorry for yourself you've got a baby relying on you sort your shit out now you're a woman so like go and get legal advice work out what you're doing with the house don't let him his pussy foot around it what days are you having the baby what split are we doing and just get everything ironed out and then you can deal with the emotional side when you've got stable surroundings which unless you do that your stable your surroundings aren't stable so you're never going to get to get to the emotional side go and see a therapist as early as you can and you can afford um because that will stop you going through everything that i went through that i didn't go and see a therapist so that will that will help you make and also do not and i

repeat do not get into a rebound relationship within the first six months trust me that was very good lauren next help how i thought it said i'm an idiot it says help i'm in debt oh no right again stop burying your head in the sand it's gonna go nowhere you ignore this and it's going nowhere sit down with a friend or a family member and actually like tackle it face on yeah head on how much debt have i got how many different places is the debt from can i consolidate that yeah you sound like fucking martin lewis here well i wear many hats love many hats um you need to look at there's companies and there's charities that can help you because debt i know this is me just guessing then please don't take this as bible but i would guess if if you looked at like

the rate of suicide i bet yeah yeah a huge amount of that is down to debt and financial worries you hear about it all the time because it spirals and it panics you it's easy to get into debt as well like so easy so easy like especially with the cost of living now you honestly it's people think joke at the minute you get into debt just to go on holidays and buy lavish things it's not getting debt to do that to pay their bills and then they can't afford it's not always that you think all people that are in debt you assume that they've been frivolous and they've been going spending money and getting boob jobs and it's not just that you get yourself into a shit place and it's hard to get out so there's charities you can ring you consolidate the debt so what that means

is that all your little bits of debt go into one debt and then there is a repayment on that um look at what you can afford what you can't afford it's it's not nice you want to ignore it but you cannot ignore it. Once you get on top of it, the relief that you're going to feel is unbelievable. And it might be that you've got really high interest rate credit cards or really high interest rate loan. And what you would then do, sometimes they suggest that you get a low rate loan and pay it all back and then have it in one lower repayment with lower interest. There's so much you can do, but please ring the charities, speak to someone, even if you don't want to speak to your family, ring the charities and just let it all out. Let them know what you've

done how you've got into this position and get some help because there's so many people in that position and you can come back from it like have you ever heard some like really successful businessmen will say that they've been fucking broke yeah they've been bankrupt my dad's been bankrupt before yeah there you go people that are successful they take risks and they've been on their ass but what the difference is between successful people and head barriers is people that are successful and and and talk like go for things head-on when they do become bankrupt they deal with it and they think is that i always always say like and this is why i absolutely hate new year because i think the mentality behind happy new year is so fucked up every day you can

start afresh yeah every day so whether that's you know you've got a debt problem you've got maybe a bit of a drink problem gambling you want to get rid of your part you're ready to end it with your partner you're in a toxic abusive relationship you've not been being a very kind person to the people around you that is you're not been being the best mom anything whatever there is always a new day coming and you can wake up and change that day even like diet you're not happy with your diet you wake up and you're right actually every day i love that can be a new start for you like doesn't have to be new year doesn't have to be a new year because you said it's like christmas is that like gluttonous time for most people where you're

over drinking you're over eating like you're not sticking to your normal routine and i always at christmas i'm like ah because i need my little routine routine and i just think like the whole new year thing like i've quit smoking because it's new year you could have quit that last Wednesday yeah it's it's not a thing I agree and you you can change your life at any point and I do have sympathy for people that get themselves stuck in in a bad situation be it relationship be it drug but because I've been in many of them I am also a little bit like hard to it so I'm also a bit like if you're not happy I'm not saying you can change something overnight it's still time to change basically sort it out and you are the only person you are the only person that has control

over what's going on in your life so if you're not happy with it don't expect it to change unless you do something about it and if you don't i've kind of ran out of sympathy i agree harsh love so another one where oh i've been shagging around too much and i feel like a slut what do i do okay first thing like what we just said as well too much let's break it down too much because you genuinely feel it's too much or too much because you think as a woman you shouldn't be shagging around that much there's two really different things here maybe just consolidate the debt and get one fuck buddy consolidate the dick consolidate into one big dick low repayments easy less stressful less to worry about lower interest rate just one day

count less leakage so i think with this one i've got a friend she doesn't live in this country so i can talk about it so i can talk about she's recently single yeah she's had a she had a couple of shags and she went underpants and my advice to her was you are 30 odd yeah you are single yeah you are hurting nobody do you think these men have woken up with the fear or any anxiety first of all if you're having a good time you're having a safe time you're happy it's not bothering you then don't let somebody else or a society tell you that you're shagging around too much right however if it's making you feel shit about yourself if it sounds like it is yeah it sounds like it is then then fine so what do i do well you wake up you start fresh and you close your fanny