Nip Tuck - Just Scroll On By!

Episode Date: September 16, 2026

Ashley’s had her face lasered off… and lived to tell the tale. This week, she’s giving us the full rundown on her laser experience, the slightly terrifying recovery and why the internet had plenty to say about it.Then we’re getting into the internet’s latest favourite hobby: absolutely tearing people apart. From £300 agendas and business launches to going viral for all the wrong reasons, when did “it’s not for me” stop being enough?And it’s time to protect your peace. The gossipers, the users, the passive-aggressive “banter”, the permanently chaotic friend and the people who somehow leave you feeling completely drained, we’re naming the red flags and deciding who needs their access revoked.Lauren considers whether she’s entering her perimenopause era, we hear possibly the best drunken text ever sent over a Patek Philippe, and a listener needs some serious advice after discovering his partner cheated while he was deployed.Head over to our socials @niptuckpod and click the link in our bio to find our YouTube, where full video episodes will be released every Wednesday at 5pm. If you're a Patreon member, not only will you get the Wednesday main episode the day before at 5pm, you'll now be able to watch the Friday Bonus too!Get in touch with your questions, dilemmas and Slutty Sue's via our Whatsapp or email [e-mail] sure to subscribe, follow, rate and review!

Hey guys, welcome to Wednesday's podcast. It could be Tuesday though, if you are listening in Patreon. So, guys, I... Yeah, we've got a lot to talk about. We've got a lot to talk about. Okay. This episode, we are talking about Ashley's face. The laser, you've all seen it.

We're going to talk about it. A big thing here, we are discussing how to protect your peace and who to avoid. Then I've got a couple of suggestions of my own, from my personal circle. my personal black book from Man of the Week. So let's go. Okay, so if you want to be fully immersed

in the podcast experience, there are multiple ways you can do so. You can get in touch with us at hello at niptukpod.com. You can follow us on our socials at niptuk pod. There's a little link tree in there. That has got links to our YouTube,

our Patreon, all the things. So also, you can literally, I don't know what I'm going to say now. I don't know what you're going to say. It's quite worrying. Really? We want to hear from you. Yeah.

Because you are what make our podcast what it is. And honestly, I fear that we have got the best listeners out there. Like if you get Nicktuck, you get Nicktuck. If you don't get it, you don't get it. And we don't want you to then either. Like when I was doing those jokey posts the other week. Not one niptuck listener would have not understood that. Not one.

You all knew. You all laughed. Yeah. Whereas other people came for me. And I don't want, if you don't get nip-tuck, then I don't want you here either. Yeah. So there we go. Yes, anyway, if you're on Patreon, then you are even deeper, deeper into that community, guys.

So we love you. Right, what have we been up to? Tell us about your face. It looks much better today. That's good to see. It's still a bit swollen, can you see? A little bit. So Ashley had, let's talk as if people haven't seen you on socials.

Because the thing is, we always assume everyone's on socials. And a lot of them are, but some aren't. So let's go back to the beginning. What did you have done? to your boat race. Ablative CO2 laser. Right. Okay.

So basically, I had this done a year ago and then you had your eyes done. Oh, yeah. Not good. So Lauren has only ever had her eyes done, but I can imagine your head would go bigger than mine. And I only did it once and then I never did it again.

Yeah, and you got an infection probably from scratching your bum and then your eyes. Yes, probably. Oh, yeah, the eye went out. Yeah. So what it is, it's basically, it's laser resurfacing and I have it done once a year. It's intense. It hurts a lot.

And the downtime, if you are an anxious person, I wouldn't recommend the treatment. We're going to pop, if you are watching on YouTube or for the purpose of an Instagram clip, we're going to pop a picture of what I looked like at my worst. Okay? and this was only a couple of days ago. A couple of pictures there for you. And what I look like now, and it is a process,

and you really have to commit to the cause. Right. So it was a weekend in. Tell us about the actual treatment. So you go in and have your consultation. Francesca the Facialist at Skin Doctor Manchester did this, but she goes to London and stuff. Have a look on her Instagram.

She's amazing. She does like live atwood's treatments and stuff like that. You need to go in for yours. I can't do that. Why? I'm too scared. Really? I just, I, right now, the thought of looking even more disgusting than I currently feel.

Yeah, I need to see if it makes pigments, some of, some lasers are not good for pigmentation. Yeah, they're not. Yeah. So you'll have the full consultation with her and it is expensive guys. It ranges from 400 pounds to 3,000 pounds. How does it range so much? Because there's different areas. So if you're just having a light on the eye.

Okay. Which some people only need a light on the eye. Fair enough. But I needed... Top end. You went hard. Yeah. And I had my full face, medium and neck done. So you could go even higher than what you had? I think you'd have to be put to sleep for that. Can she do that? Yeah.

What the fuck? Like, as in more intense than what you had? Yeah. Christ. Okay. Yeah. We went quite deep on my neck, to be fair. So that's still a bit sandpapery. but you have to commit to the cause. So you go in for your consultation. Now, I did things that maybe people wouldn't advise,

but I went freestyle. Okay? So I prepared by taking antihistamines. Yeah. Because I'm a sweller. And do you know what I think it's from? I think it's from because I have my facelift. Yeah.

And obviously, like, maybe things don't drain as well. I don't know. Okay, because maybe things are like sewn together. Yeah. I'd had a lot of filler removed, so everything's a bit like... All the channels are a bit. That's my theory anyway. You could just swell, I don't know.

So I took antihistamines in the lead-up. I also bought some numbing cream. Put a picture of the numbing cream on here. Don't know if it's illegal or not. I'm not a doctor, and this is not what Francesca advised. I'm just telling you what I did. That numbing cream... Right.

So is it... Because some treatments you can use numbing and some you actually can't. Not with IPL, you can't. use no way because it restricts the blood vessels so she can't see where she needs to go and that's why IPL photo fabulous another version of it but this one wasn't this was literally burning the skin and is it like like laser where it goes move so the first time is grids and every time you know it's coming and you're like is do do do do do do do do Fucking hell, mate.

So I used this numbing cream. I'll put a picture of it here. I bought, I restocked three because I take this numbing cream to all my appointments and it's like 21% or so. It's really... Right, did it lie again?

Yeah, and it comes in a tube like that. So I use that whole thing all over my face. That helps. And stayed numb for about six hours. So that helps with the afterburn. And then also, I took a codeine and some paparana.

Oh, that's just for the appointment. Yeah. So that was good. And then I used for the recovery my secret weapon. A secret ingredient product. You know what it is. But basically I used a whole one

and all I did was sprit, sprit, sprit, sprit, sprit, sprit, sprit, sprit, sprit. Consistently. Because also the skin's open, isn't it? Channel. It's going in. The channel, it's going in. So I kept my hair all. slipped back and I sprayed, sprayed, sprayed, the magic happened. So, how long does it take to

actually do? How long are you lying there in pain? 20 minutes. So that's not that bad. No. My pain threshold, I don't know if it since, I don't know, has gone down. Yours used to be so good. I used to have such a high pain threshold. And you used to say mine was bad. Mine is so bad. Now, when Charlotte does anything, I want to cry, even Botox, I want to cry and tell her to stop, I think I just haven't got anything left in me. Do you know when you're just tired and emotional and you're just done? You need to eat before that appointment. And yeah, that's probably why.

You always, before any laser or injectable to me like you should eat something. And I think that's what it is. And then she starts hurting me and I feel almost upset and offended about it. And you're like, why are you hurting me? Yeah, that's what I keep doing. I don't need to do this. Why am I putting myself? I get this weird.

And then I think to her like, why are you, you're hurting me? And I think it's an, I think that's a mental thing rather than anything. else. So you've gone down a lot and tell us like the result what's going to happen. So glowy skin, less texture, eye pores, just really a nice rejuvenated look because, you know, I'm approaching 37 quickly. So we need to do these things. And listen, it was my choice and I put it on TikTok and I did get a lot of offended people. Oh, did you? Because How dare I spend my money doing what I want to? Oh, is that what the, what was the main, like,

because I don't go on TikTok, we know this. You didn't even need it. Says who? Don't know, loads of people. Like, yeah, but it's no one. Yeah. And I, whatever. Sorry.

It's a me problem. Well, funnily enough, James told me, because as we know, I don't go on TikTok, and I certainly don't read our comments. Oh, he messaged me about it. I think it's bothered him. He's really angry. There's a few things.

We don't look at our TikTok comments. We're numb to it. I don't look ever. It's not an app I just, I'd go on naturally anyway. It's nasty. So I don't, and if I was to, I would never sit and read the comments. I don't want to know. However, there was a couple of things.

There was one guy and James was angry at this guy. He really took offence to this one particular guy who, I don't know what he said, called us one thing or another. Tramps. Well, well, it's not that bad. I've been called worse. Spunk bucket. Spunk bucket, I was going to say.

You know, I still go on Facebook and add that man sporadically. I think he's probably like... So he knows I'm watching him. I love that. I'll still go on. I try and add him every now and again so he knows I'm still watching you, Jordan. Oh!

I didn't say he's sitting in it. Anyway, the other thing was someone sent James, which I think's not ideal really, some comments, I must have been from our episode, like some unpleasant comments about him and they were in the, maybe in the folded comments, I don't know.

No, thank God they can see what it fucking feels like. So he is pretty tough-skinned and he's not really asked about stuff, but I think it has, like, not bothered him where he's going to cry, but I think, you know what, it sits in the back of your head throughout the day, and you'll carry on doing things,

and then you're like, oh, God, that wasn't nice. That's like when we used to go on that website. Yeah, and you think that you won't, you think it won't bother you, but it sits in the back of your head all day. Still, even like some things. Still now, and you'll do something, and you'll think, I don't know if I should do that

because once upon a time seven, five years ago, someone said this, it sits with you. So he was a little bit, I think it did bother him a bit. And he's like, why are people so fucking horrible? And I said, I told you, don't read the comments. And whoever sent you them,

tell them not to do that. Like, one of my friends, straight away, goes, when there's a picture of her, goes on the Daily Mail comments, and she sends me. No, never would do that. Yeah, and I'm like,

why are you going? To go and look. To go and look. Even Kim Kardashian. Everyone. Daily mail, like, also, can I just say, if anyone,

does that say, your fellow comments on TikTok. Yeah. Like, your fellow writes nasty things like, do you know? You fellow comments on TikTok. And I'm just like,

I don't know. I think that's such like, I think things are changing now. And we're going to get into it a bit with this. Yes, we're going to talk about. Yeah. And everyone's got an opinion.

And, you know, that quote that I, like, really stuck with me is not everything on the internet is meant for you. Mm-hmm. So this new thing of like, a lady put this picture of a banana bread on. And then she put these comments.

And it was like, well, I'm gluten-free. So that banana bread recipe is not right for me. Well, funnily enough, I'm the problem, Sarah, who I adore. I don't know if you saw her. She put this, she'd got this new Chanel makeup and she'd done a real. And someone put, yeah, but is it good for plus 50 menopausal skin? And she was like, I don't know, I haven't got that. I'm 30 odd.

Maybe not. I haven't told you it is. and I'm not the content for you. That was like when I did an ad for one of my favourite lip bombs, the rock lip balm and it's a volumising one and people are commenting on it like, yeah, but what about if you don't have lip filler?

And I was like, I never said I didn't. Yeah, like what I never... And honestly, the whole of the internet is not meant for you and this whole thing about this agenda. Oh, we're going to talk about that. We're going to come on to that. Let me pause you because we're going to do...

We're going to talk. Right. You direct me. And we're going to... You navigate the gossip today. And we're going to talk onto that later. And we're going to have a big chat about social media in general, the trends, the things that are now you know,

is what we think about it all. And we're also going to, like I said, talk about how you protect your peace. So we're going to move on to that. So your face is looking good. All good, all happy, worth it. I honestly put my recovery down to this. MIST. I'll have it then if I.

And the mist. The mist. The mist. It's going to be out next month. Oh my God. That's really. really quick. Are you going to get more in stock than you got off the eyes?

Not to be rude. Well, maybe you should stock up. I'm struggling with cash flow a little bit at the minute. It's all expensive. This stock is expensive. And I've just launched my B2B, so I've got a phone call on Monday with my 22 clinics. Nice.

So I'm onboarding everyone, and I am unveiling to them because they're all getting something very exclusive. I love that. Well, they can use... I'll show you a picture of what it is. But they're all getting showing what they're getting and they'll all be able to stocking clinic,

using clinic, all of that stuff. Harrod's, I'm going on Friday to Harrod's Beauty and Chester and Sophia Bailey's taking me for food. I know, you said could I come and I can't, because I think I might be going to Manchester. Wow, leaving her the house. Right, let's be sitting down! I was actually right and I've stopped myself.

Start spread in the news. I was going to put in Patreon actually but I've not been able to ring myself to do it because I'm just so embarrassed that I've got to this point. Girls I'm going to Manchester on Friday. Where shall I go for food and drinks? Like everyone asks me and I've not gone out. Do you know what?

I've heard that Mollies is amazing. Yes, I've heard that. And you can stay over there. So we are going to stay. Well, I'd, well, I'd, I think we are gonna stay. Do you know what though? You just need to fucking join as my plus one on Soho House.

Like I don't know why you've not. I don't know if I'm that forced. I don't know. Yeah, you just come in with me. I'm just going when you're going in. But it's our two year wedding anniversary. Happy two years. What is that cotton?

Tomorrow. What anniversary is two year wedding anniversary? So two years it'll be tomorrow. So this time two years ago I was on magic mushrooms in my York. Yeah, and I was not. I was not. And look how. Look how far you've come.

And look at where I am now. Look at where you are on. So I think we're going to go to Manchester. So, and maybe do like a bit of food, bit of shopping and maybe stay over. Do you know where though? Honestly,

is actually so nice, Chester. James keeps saying to me how lovely Chester. Maybe we go to Chester. I went out with, and then you can meet me and Sophia for you drink. Yeah, maybe we got.

James would love for that. It is just the cotton anniversary. The cotton. Yeah. Sorry, did you say just the cotton? As if it's like a lower grade anniversary. Yeah. How many years are you into your marriage, Lucas?

I've got something really, really funny to tell you actually about anniversary presents and birthday presents. So it's our friends 40th next week. And she won't mind me telling this story. This is fucking hilarious. So for her 40th, she had her eye on this Patech watch, right? This watch is like a really rare watch. and it's the blue one. So it's got the blue face,

oh, stunning, and the blue strap. And she'd been on the wait list for it for years. All the time, she keeps saying, this is what I want for my 40, this is what I want. Anyway, the watch comes into the shop, and they go and look at the watch, and a husband's like... And she gives him the eye in the hand.

And the husband's like, well, we'll have to wait and see. We'll go home and have a think about her, wait and see. Isn't it funny how you revert to being a kid again? Like when your mum used to say to somewhere And you got, I really want that for my birthday, well, we'll have to see what happens.

Yeah, exactly that again. Have to see on your behaviour. Yeah. So, then, so, it was after the Christmas, right? She, we were all pissed, right? And her and her husband get home, and she, I think she falls asleep, like,

on the sofa or something. And what was the text? What did he say? Then he said, no, I did he. Not buying watch, poor sex. Poor sex. Poor sex, not getting watched. Poor sex, not having watch.

I put the screen show on the message here and we were in his stert. Actually, no watch, poor sex. Something, it was really funny. It was really funny. He must have had some form of sex for him to say that, but it just must have been poor on her part. And the next day, even he was like crying about it.

Does he remember sending it? He must have been sat there. You mean like, right, she's not getting her. Watch, poor baby. Right. Matt text me this at 2am. Sorry, not paying the watch, space, space, poor sex. I love that.

Anyway, she got the watch. Oh, did she get the watch? Oh, I love that. You know the watch that one day I hope to buy myself. My dream watch. Another one of my fucking mates has just got it. Yeah, but there's this guy that I follow on Instagram, you know the one that's like, you're a little basic bitch.

We love this guy. No, he said, you're a basic bitch if you were one of them. The Cartier de Santos, yeah. Is that what he said? And I love that guy. I love that guy.

He is very funny. But do you know what? But you know me? I don't give a shit. No, if you like it. I like it. But yeah, William, Williams just bought one in Chicago.

Right. Well, if Williams bought one, then it can't be basic bitch because he's not basic bitch. The leasing. Very not, yeah. He's not a basic bitch. No, but it's that specific one,

did he say. There was one, oh my God, can we just actually talk about some of the bags that he mentioned. And I was crying. What's his page? I don't know. Let me message my sister now because we need to mention it.

I was really laughing. So basically what he does is he's just ruthless. And he sits there and he goes, you're a little basic bitch if you had this bag. Like where are you from? Like Monica, it's really fucking funny. What is the Instagram of that guy that we love? The really camp guy with the blonde hair

and he goes like, you're a little basic bit. Oh, him. Yeah. Honestly, I am obsessed with him. I want to meet him. for drinks one day. One of them which really made me laugh and I knew what he meant

and it was the the wire cell little kind of flat with the chain and you know which one it is girls that you can get faking turkey. We all had, yeah

there's nothing wrong with it but just the way he described it he was like ugh, disgusting really, you can't be offended though if you're going to watch that. You are a basic picture

if you have a Goyard beach bag yeah, but listen you can't look if you're going to be offended don't watch that. Some of the stuff he said your little acrylic toes squeezed into your body Pete Tolubutons.

He's so fucking funny. Right, we're going to link him because he's very, very, very funny. Speaking, a basic basic bitch, this I will put my... This is fucking pathetic, disgusting.

I don't want one. It's horrible. I am 36. I have multiple children. I am not bejazzling, vejazzling, putting fucking crystals on shit. I'm a grown woman. What are you, all doing putting how right first of all it's cool it's we're not cute we're 36 year old

women why are we putting fucking gems on stuff because why not has time if you've got time to do that why are you not busier what are you doing the horrible it's horrible i i i what it is lucas is looking at that. We are grown women. What are you doing? It's an awful trend and I might upset people. I may. I would never.

This is reminding me these. Really therapeutic. These, so it's therapeutic. A fag and a fag and a codeine. That's therapeutic. This. A fag, a glass of chardonnay and a codeine. And a codine.

And a codine. This. On an empty stomach. On an empty stomach. And then... It's like that, what's happened? Do you remember that program? Airport?

That woman is she's like... Jane Bolton. Yeah, Jane Bolton. Oh, she's a fucking icon. What was it? She said, when I get home, I'm going to have a ball of red. Sweaty fags in the bed. That's the clue.

That is relaxing. And then start, and then kicking off with your husband. That's relaxing. This. Do you remember that program airport? That was the fucking best, Jeremy. Do you know what these remind me of? These remind me of when I was a kid and I used to pretend I had a nose stud.

Yeah. William and Jordan got her on. Did they? Yeah. She come on the podcast. Right. I'm just, I'm disgusted. You, Ashley.

Here he is Angus. So this is the gentleman. D-E-K-R-K-B-Y. Derek? Derek? No, Dekirkby. Angus Dekirkby. And he's very, very funny.

These are vial. You, Ashley, are a mother of four. You are a founder, you are a CEO, and you are putting gems on shit. I think it's cute. It's not for me. Okay. Nobody sent me them or expect me to do them. I was going to do a catch about myself,

but I feel like after, I think I've given enough negativity. Yeah. Yeah, and I think if I sit here and rant about how annoying it was, having five kids all weekend and how all I do is wash up, feed, wash up, tidy, clean, bed, no bed, put to bed, wash hair, dry hair, plat hair, and a continuous monotonous way. Lauren, you just need some hired help for three days. If I do that. I am not listening to you moan because you can do it and you choose not to. I will when the house is done. I can't. Why? Why? Because I can't add another person into my chaos. If one more person comes into my fucking house this morning, yeah, I just wish I had a good. GoPro on my head so you could see because you'd just be like, really, this is what happened

me. I went into the bathroom to go to the mirror to put my contacts in and there was a wardrobe in the middle of the bathroom. I had to it to the side to get to my contact lenses. Then I like shimmied my way out and I was trying to get down the stairs and there was a man with plasterboard flying around the house. The kids were at eye. Woof. So I'm not, do you know what? No, I'm not going to, I'm not going to darken everyone's door. No, please. But one thing I will say is I put us some stories up the other day about like a feeling of like word in pending doom or this shit. And loads of people said I could be perimenopausal.

Yeah, like the brain fog thing. I just... Are we there? Yeah. What is perimenopausal? Yeah, like it starts from like 35. Like give me a minute. Like let me just hit menopause.

Don't add a peri on first so I can start now. Let me just wait here. I'm just going to have some kind of history. direct to me situation. I don't understand. Right. So when I, when people, a few people message me saying, look, don't want to, you know, but it could be hormonal, could be perimenopause.

I thought, what? Yeah, and your periods have been going bad. And do you know what it made me want to do? Well, cry. Get pregnant now. Yeah. Because I thought, no, no, you don't tell me I can't have kids anymore. I will go and get pregnant just to make a point.

To be fair, though, if you want to do it with me, do you want to go and freeze some eggs? I think James would have an absolute heart attack if I even suggested that. Yeah, but then they're just there. Can you sell them? Yeah. Okay. I mean, I'm not sure how much of yours. With all the fags and souvenir.

Well, we could lie. Wouldn't he, because I know you keep pushing for the old snipparoni. Yeah, you could freeze embryos. Surely he would freeze some of his as well. Just in case. He's not had the... Lucas. Let me explain to you a straight man.

Unless I ring up the place, book the appointment, get all his stuff sorted for him, take him there, physically hold his penis in the air while they chop at his bollocks, he will not do it. So James will not get the snip because that would require him to go and sort it. And they cannot, and I'm not doing it.

So he's not going to get the snip. But right, perimenopause, can you have babies then? Yeah. I don't understand it. As long as you're still ovulating, You can still have babies. So is it just like it's getting you ready for? Yeah, like your hormones.

Because honestly it made me think I'm getting pregnant right now. I don't even want one. But I just thought, you don't tell me. Yeah. You don't tell me I can't have kids anymore? Very me thing to do. I'll get pregnant right now. Don't you fucking tell me I can't?

Yeah. Oh God, no, please. That had tipped me over the edge of you doing that. No, I'm not going to do that. You're already hard. I'm hard enough to navigate. I am not. I am not.

I can confirm to everyone that I'm absolutely not going to have another baby. Right. Okay. Let's have a little break, guys. and then let's come back with some chat about Instagram and protecting your peace. I hate that when you do that. It's because I've had some...

That is every time. Don't give me fizzy drinks then. If you don't want me to vote. What, are you a baby? You're like, fucking hell. You are, you are a baby. Right, guys, welcome back. Says you with the fucking crystal.

Don't forget, you can follow us on socials at Niphtuck Pod. We need you to leave reviews and glowing gonds at that. Five star reviews. please and write really kind things about us you know why did I only get three though because now I don't like them anyway but now I've got three like now that it looks stupid back to what we were saying the internet protect your piece so we'll smooth over it because you've probably heard enough about it but basically Isabel Lorna this influencer did a cracking job at marketing this new agenda that she's made and when she launched it it was all

build up, build up, build up, and she launched it and the agenda was £300. So in case you didn't know what an agenda was, because some people might not, I don't know if I would have done. I mean, I love, very you. Very you. But very me 18 months ago, I would say, who I would like to be again one day. So, it's like a file of facts. A file of facts, let's call it. But it's got like one page of it's got a mirror in, one page has got a whiteboard in, cute. It's real leather, da, do, do, do. It's beautiful. I know who would

have one of them. Georgia Height and Hustle. Yes. She's the type of woman. Yes, yes. But there's loads of brands that do you want. On's called Joanne's Journals, the girls were saying on Instagram.

And then there's another brand, let me tell you. I ordered them for all of my girls. I love the idea of a journal. I think it's, especially if you've got a corpy job. And even if you haven't, just all your thoughts in one place,

like mine's all on my phone. They actually just got delivered this morning. I think it's good having it on your, phone but sometimes like it's nice to just get away from your phone and because when it when everything's on your phone you get distracted by messages coming in whereas i feel like if you had an agenda it would the dream academy and i got them all crock ones and they came up coming like stickers and really cute gems all kinds anyway basically the internet went into upbroad because of the 300 pound thing and yeah on patreon people like

whoa what the fuck 300 quid that's fine i don't mind that go and bitching your WhatsApp chats Go and chat to your friends about question. They were. There was one that was 129, she said. Oh, really? Was there? Well, the main one was the 300 quid thing. That's fine.

Go and talk about it between yourselves. Don't mind that. Go and talk about me between yourselves. Don't mind that. But when people started making videos, talking to camera, like I've had it before. You know, my products,

they're not for everyone. A big influencer, for example, actually at the weekend said she wouldn't pay 50 pounds for my eye patches and she prefers the Garnier ones. I'll tell you offline and that's absolutely fine. That's fine. If you, if you, but I have tried all eye patches and you are wrong. But okay, fine. But okay. If you want to be wrong, that's fine. I've had videos as well where one girl said they're fucking glorified baby wipes. That's absolutely fine. Listen, if you have a problem with paying for my product, baby wipes. Can we just...

Don't do it. No one's forcing. Can we just make a really clear announcement here? Don't use a cosmetic consulate wipe on your baby's bottom. Okay? No. Okay. But it's the whole bitchiness of it that I really just didn't like with these videos of girls like if I was Isabelle Lorna this is how I would launch a business.

You haven't. Where's your business? Show us. And it was like so awful because it was the first day of this young lady going after her dreams, launching a business. She's invested loads of money into this. It doesn't matter if you didn't like it, you couldn't afford it, you didn't agree with it. That's fine. Scroll on by, darling.

Don't add to cart. Literally. And now, every single, I feel like it's part of the rage bait thing there. And it's very, well, I can't afford it, so I'm not going to, you know, go along with it. I'm going to slag it off. And it's like, as women, it's so hard, especially in business, whether it's influencing that you're doing starting a salon, opening a shop, doing a product. Like, whatever you're doing is hard enough.

So if you don't agree with it, don't comment on it. Don't make a video about it. No, I agree. And I think people are so entitled on Instagram and they just think that they can. And I just think... I don't mind product comparisons. No, and product reviews. Like what I said about that girl did.

She said, I prefer. and that's absolutely fine. Everyone's allowed. I've got to remember, there's got to be some authenticity as well in people. So if you're a skincare, girly, whatever, you should be able to say, not loving this.

Otherwise, everyone would just be saying everything was great and then people are wasting the money. And like, for example, there's a way to do it. The MCO lipstain, which is like six quid, versus the Huda Beauty, 28 pound one.

I actually do prefer the MCO one. And I think the fact that people are honest about that is good. But I think the point is... It's the slate of. These videos were totally, they were not necessary. They weren't saying, she's a small business as well. They weren't saying this compared to this.

They were just saying, I'd have done it differently. But then I'm like, okay, show us your credentials. What have you launched? Right, well, shush then. Yeah? Yeah. And I just don't like it. I don't think it's helpful.

And I do agree that it's just, when something's trending, if everyone jumps on it, they get more views. But the thing is, girls, this thing with like going viral, let me tell you, I've gone viral with a video.

Ashley has before. Like now and again you do as an influencer. Nothing comes of it. Right? And it also doesn't hit the right audience a lot of the time. And if you're going viral for being a bit off, that wouldn't sit well with me. I've done videos before and thought, oh shit, that doesn't feel right. Yeah. So your views might be a million.

It doesn't always equate to followers. And it also doesn't equate to the right kind of people you want on your page. So like that one I did pushing Tommy, that went viral. Got loads of comments. Didn't help me in any way. So I think a lot of the time people are hoping for this viral. moment thinking it's going to catapult their Instagram and actually you just looked like a bit of a bitch. Yeah, exactly. Which people don't like. Like when Molly first launched maybe and she had

the bubbly blazer and everyone reveled in it and they were like, uh, no, no, no, no, no. And literally they all got their fucking money back. She sorted the whole situation out and you saw her in tears. That poor young lady in tears in tears in her office. Like that could happen to literally anyone. When the container arrives, I don't know, there might be some kind of fault. A fault, yeah. And it's not...

The plastic, the outside had a line in it. Yeah, that happened to you. Horrendous. And I solved it in the end. But things like this happen and what more could she do rather than give everyone the money back

and stand by it? And she was like, listen, like, the husband didn't expect that. And now, I must say, her clothes are extremely good quality. So it's just like a learning curve. And I just think, do you think let's just be put it in your group chat oh do you know what look at the look at the agenda

and think because I don't think I personally mean myself I don't think I would spend 300 quid on it probably because I'd rather spend a little bit more and get a louveton one I've got a louveton one and I use it all the time and this is so fucking embarrassing to admit but then I just it gives me that that it's louveton it's designer I'd rather spend a touch more and be like la la la la fair enough you're paying for the brand yeah but when I saw this product did I think anything I just looked it and thought oh not for me that and carried on Yeah. And that's the point. So moving on from that kind of chat too, protecting your peace in general. So when you're online, obviously, we've just said people are coming at you. There's like nasty comments sometimes. There's these videos. But what about the people that are in your inner circle? Like who you're interacting with? So we've just said that that made us feel a certain way. And we didn't know any of these girls making videos. So imagine how it would feel and how it would affect you long term having that kind of energy. in your circle. So protect your peace.

These are the people that you need to keep away from you to protect your personal space and your peace. If you've got people like this around you, you will not be the best version of yourself, you won't be operating the best and you won't be the happiest. So it's time to chop, chop, chop, bye-bye. I'm sat, go.

Avoid people who bitch about other people, especially in your circle. So say you've got a group of five of you, did you see what such and such one? What's our quote on that? What Sally said about somebody something about Lucy. What Susie says of Sally says more of Susie than Sally. So if they're constantly talking about somebody within your friendship group, then they will be doing it about you.

We don't really like that. Friends that are there for the bad season, but not the good. So when you're down and out, when you're feeling shit, they're always around. It's because they're reveling in it. When things are going well, they're not that interested anymore. Friends that you feel like you can't tell good news too. So if you think twice before telling them something in case it makes and feel away or you know they're going to react to a certain way, that's not good. People who, when you've left their company, you feel drained. You feel uneasy, unsettled. You need to leave a friendship group or whatever feeling like your cup has been filled and like, oh God, that felt good. And if it doesn't feel like that, you're wasting your time. Passive, aggressive, continuous jokers.

So banter is one thing. Yeah. There is a very big difference between banter and constantly, making the same big joke at someone. It's an undertone and if it bothers you, then you're feeling something correctly. People who tell white lies. So if you notice like small white lies a lot of the time, it makes me think about the bigger picture. Now that leads me on too and this might be a bit of a,

this is more of mine. So I'm not saying you agree or everyone agree with this. Someone who is in a stable, long term married relationship and is having continuous. affairs now you might think live let live that's up to them this is what I personally think on this if you can go to bed every night and I'm not talking about one night's time which is horrific but people make mistakes I'm talking about someone who prolifically does it if you can get in bed with somebody if you can have children live in a house with someone and lie next to them at night

knowing that you are making a fucking fool of them or if other people know and you can go to a social situation knowing that everyone knows what you're doing except that but if you can do And I've seen it. There's some situation I know where when we, everyone knows, and this man is absolutely lovely. And I can't fucking stand the girl now because I think if you're going to do that

to your partner in life, you are not to be trusted and your moral compasses, no. So if you're having a continuous affair, for me, it's not the one. Another thing to protect your peace is limit accessibility for everyone.

Now, Ashley, you're much better at this than me. What's your take on that? So Lauren, Like, you're not better at it. But for example, I used to say, like, Lauren, you can't sit and reply to every message that you get. Like, you just can't, like, you're, think of it as, I saw a lady explaining it the other day on Instagram and she said, it's like when a plane starts crashing and you have to save yourself first. Yeah. Yeah?

So you put your oxygen mask on first. And then. You can't be accessible to everyone. So if that does mean, like, I'm probably going to have to change my number. I've been thinking about this. Because too many people have got my number. And I know that they'll be sat like having a conversation and this isn't me being a twat and they'll be like, I know that Ashley knows that person.

I'm going to message her now and I'm like, the thing is, it's when you, the thing is, the actual act wasn't done in any bad way. And I do it as well. We just ask Frankie who that person was. Yeah. But it's when you've got to accept that if a lot of people are doing that, then honestly my phone sometimes I get anxiety I'll pick it up and all but it's especially with like surgery and surgeon recommendations so people are always liked me like have you heard of

this doctor I've I've just booked in with him so I'll reply back and I'll be like hey yeah I've heard of that person well what do you think yeah and I'm like do you know when he's been it cut and I just I'm like whoa like you know or hi I remember you had Instagram issues with meta and I need help now and I'm like I can't fucking help you. Leave me alone. I need help. I think this is the issue. It's not the person asking that question. They've done nothing wrong but you have to come to a point where

where you think 10 people that day were doing nothing wrong. And now my head's in the bin. So I think you're much better than me. I am trying to be a little bit better at just keeping my circle a little bit smaller. And also guys, if you send me a message like even some of my best friends

and my family and I am running around the house and it's like something has just happened at home, I will open the message and I won't respond to you and it's not my fault and I'm sorry. Yeah. So I think that that is, I'm getting better. But you shouldn't feel bad about doing that either. Yeah. Because so that leads me on to, like Lauren says, we were trying to call each other yesterday from half past two. Yeah. We spoke to each other this morning. And that's fine. Because they were, there was literally, but I bet what I did have to do a couple of times during

that day was reply to nonsense. Yeah. Oh yeah. You have that. I did have nonsense that I felt guilty not replying to you when actually so that leads me on to my next point which is remember what your priorities in life are everyone's are totally different whether it be your work your kids your husband your mates it might just be your mates whatever it is remember what your priorities are be really clear with that and then the rest of the noise isn't that necessary and that kind of leads on to that so we're at a point now where work is so busy for us it and that we're preaching our busiest period and work's going really well and it's really really busy so yesterday i had literally barely any time, little fractions.

So in that time, what I should have been doing is the priorities, which for me, work, husband kids. Yeah, so what I do is I pin about four chats. Mm-hmm. So my agency chat. I didn't know you could do that. Yeah, so they're just at the top.

You. Oh, I have to search for us every time. And that's my core chat. Ah, I didn't know you could do that. No, no, you swipe like that and you put pin. Because I search for every time I have to search. And then, unfortunately, the group tracks get archived.

Yeah. And I think when you get a minute. When I've got a minute, when I can breathe, say I'm in the bath with glass. Why not, I'll check in with the girls because I want to read your message properly.

And this is the problem. So this is another thing that I do. And Ashley, you'll say Lucas and Alex will agree all the time. Because I want to, I feel bad about not getting back to people. What I do...

You want to clear your phone. I want to clear my phone. So what are they trying to do is clear 10 people at once, but the response is half-brained. So then every response I've sent made no sense. Scatty.

I didn't read the message properly. So I replied and be like, yes. And they're like, no, I didn't ask that. And I'm like, oh, and then it gets you nowhere. So I totally agree. Your priorities first in the day. Then get back to people when you can give them the brainpower. And yesterday was a good example of that.

Because I probably wasted a lot of my brain power replying to people about bullshit. Next one. Avoid the friend that uses you. I want to get in touch when they need you. Or so they'll, hey girl, how are you? What are you up to? Oh, I'm fine. Thank you.

I was just wondering. and they only ever got into touch in the first place. Can I use your house membership? Can I use your discount card for this? Yeah. Can I do that? Can I do that? And that's fine if it's a two-way street and if you're good friends.

But if you find that someone uses you or uses you when they have no other plans. I think that's quite common with single girls. I just think like looking back on certain things like I've been used. Yeah. When you actually take a set back. And then you get gaslit by the person sometimes a bit when you pull them up on it. Yeah. So that's really.

important. If you've got a friend that is taking, taking, taking doesn't give much value then I think it's time to get rid of it. Or say thank you so appreciate it. So thank you. Just thanks for that. Like literally like so lovely when someone takes time to say thank you. And that's all that. And if they're not like that, then we don't need them. Now this one is a big one, I think. If you've got that friend that for some reason you always get embroiled in drama with Oh, right? You've done nothing. You're a bystander.

But somehow you end up with this particular person. I've got a couple of friends like that, that you end up in the hot seat in a load of drama. And you're like, whoa. Chaos. Chaos. And she said, he said, she said. Chaos attracts chaos.

And then you end up in it. And you're like, wow, hang on a minute. I am not drama. Especially at our age. At our age. So if you've got that friend that is always a drama going on, what you'll find is that the drama is them. It's not coincidence that you've got one friend

that for the last 10 years has always been had drama, drama, drama. It's because it's them. Stay the fuck away from those people because without meaning to, they could get you in a lot of trouble by mistake. And it wastes so much energy. Energy. Having the conversations, having the same things.

And then you've got to ring such and such that. I didn't say that fuck that. We're way too old for that shit. Last one. Avoid competitive friends. Listen, we're all out there. We've all got our own goals. We're hustling.

And you were like healthy competitive with each other. Yeah, I think we both want to do well. We both want to help each other. But there's no like, well, you're doing that. And I don't know. It's more like, oh my God, you're doing that. We have very honest conversations with each other where I'll be like, do you mind if I do this?

And you can tell me now. Yeah. Or you'll say like the same thing to me. Do you think this is a good idea? Yeah. Not really. I don't think that's like whatever. Yeah.

And it's a want to grow in general. Yeah. And I think it's friends that would say, would suggest something was a bad idea when simply they knew it was a good idea because they don't want you to thrive. I've got friends that are like that and some of them for example

they're not like my friend friends but I know know them and it's like well she's got a plate car and it's like oh my god are we really having this conversation or oh well you know what did

she went on this holiday this year or or her kids don't go to private school that's always one someone actually asked me the other day why don't you're kids go to private school. I just turned around so I can't afford it. I'd rather spend it on CO2 laser.

Yeah! I'd rather spend this turn. I'd rather set on bleaching my ass. They would have had to have had a month off. They would have had to have a month off because we scored with fees had gone to CO2 for the months. So yeah, that's my... Saving up for massive tits.

That's my thought. And a tight pussy. Actually... Right, so that is our thought and if you fall into the category guys well you're listening to that and you can name you're thinking yeah that's Sarah Susan that's Molly Joe

if that's like coming up to you and that then do you know what you need to do get rid of them and one more yeah the friend that gets blackout every time you go out and ruins your night you don't ruin you just go me I do black out I don't anymore but I used to black out I never ruined anyone's night though

like people have to look after them oh no I just my friends would just put me in a corner. Like, I just, Houdini and everyone gets so annoyed. Yeah, when I've had enough,

I just go. I never used to go. Girls don't usually do that then. I would never leave. This is the problem, but someone could put me in a corner and I'd just be fine. I think I've done that to you before.

Left. No, put me in a corner. Oh, yeah. No, that's fine. Just probably just leave me over there. Like, that's absolutely fine. Right, guys, I hope that's helped.

And also, really last one, if any of you are in a relationship like that, Yeah. Fuck the... If you're listening to that and you thought that's my partner, mm-mm, bad.

Fuck them off. Gossipy men, y'all. Protect your peace, guys. Make sure that the people around you're the best. Oh, I've got one thing before we end. Yeah. One thing before we go for our break, if anybody works at QVC,

can you get in touch with me? Because I've been trying to get in touch with KVC for fucking ages for something for me and you and for something for CC. Oh! I can't get contact at KVC. We'd be really...

I would, we'd have a fucking ball on KVC. Can't swear, though. on you? I don't think so. No. Okay. We're going into the break now. We're going to be back to find out my men of the week and a quick dilemma maybe. We are... The last thing I said before then in the break was

I don't give a fuck. We're back. We're back. Okay. So, where we are? Can you do the dilemma while I find the men of the week, please? Would you mind that, honey? Could you read the dilemma while I get the men of the week up and give a brief synopsis? Hi girls, you're probably not even going to see this. Ah, we are. But this is my story.

I am a 28-year-old male who is in the army. August's just gone. I was deployed and my now ex-partner and baby mum cheated on me while I was away. I'm trying to be the bigger person and want to be civil with her, but she's being very difficult at the moment. I don't know what it is or what I'm doing wrong. I genuinely love this girl, but I can't go back because I won't trust her again. I feel like I failed as a man to be honest,

and I only see my son on the weekends now instead of every day and it's breaking me. Have you got any advice or tips to help me through this situation? Right, first of all, I am sorry that you got cheated on. Shit happens, people cheat. It's shit, but it's life and it will move on. You're so young as well, 28. Yeah, I agree that you can't go. back, I don't think now. I think like that's done and dusted. So a couple of things you've

not given us like loads of info, so it's really hard to say. But the first thing I would do, I don't know if this is still going on. But if you two are having any form of emotional connection in any way still, that has to stop. Now, I might be putting words into your mouth because I'm trying to work out from what you've said. You still love her. Let's make sure that the boundaries aren't being blurred here. Let's make sure you're not shagging now and again when it suits her. Let's make sure that you're not still having... She's not using you. for your dick. For your dick.

Let's not, let's make sure that you're not having these conversations whether it's getting a bit flirty or we're talking about the past. I think the first thing you need to do now is however long it takes and however you have to do it, accept that this chapter is finished.

Because that's one of the hardest things. And when you keep the lines blurred, that's when people's heads get fucked. And also the situation's going on a little bit too long. They split up and the fact that's still going on is making me think there's stumbling still. So maybe she's keeping you there

because she hasn't found anyone else yet or she wants to just keep you there to keep it. I don't know. It's like an ego thing. So the first thing I would do and it's really, really hard, but until you make this big step, this will drag on for years if you let it.

You stop and draw a line. You are over. It is finished. You don't text in a flirty way. You don't sleep with each other. There is none of that. Even if you're feeling it and you're feeling heartbroken, you do not tell it.

That is it now. The chapter is closed. I'd honestly say you need to go to therapy. Yes, I think you need to go to therapy. I think you should go and speak to someone about how this has made you feel because when someone cheats on you, especially when you're away with that kind of thing,

I can imagine that, wow, your head must be all over anyway with that kind of job. Is it my fault? And then you've gone away to do something like that. And yeah, it must be horrible. So I think you need to deal with that. When it comes to the child, this is a really, really hard one.

A lot of my men friends that have split up with a partner really struggle with not seeing the kids all the time and don't have much. But because of your job, there's advice. That does work for you. It does kind of work because of your job. there isn't much you can do. It's just make quality time.

Like a holiday. The other thing I would say is I don't know where you're at with like official agreements, but very early on in the split up, sorry, I, once you've made this emotional disconnect, even though you probably can't be bothered and it feels like such a slog, I would be getting legal. I'd be getting,

well, you can go to a family court, I think it's like 250 quid. It's not expensive. You don't even need a solicitor. And you go and you outline what the next year or so is going to look like with childcare. if you can give more, if you explain to your job and say, if I'm home, I want to have the baby for a week while I'm home, they will put all that into paper because the thing is then,

she can't use the child as a weapon. She can't dangle the child so that you text, you know, cause like any emotional issue. And it stops any back and forth conversation between you two. I don't know if that stops it. Well, it's supposed to. But I think it will help with just having it on paper when your routine is because it kind of dumbs down how much conversation

you two have to have. A lot of men are avoidance. So what they'll think is, oh, I don't want to go to court. I don't want to fill the paperwork out. No, I'll just, it'll be fine. It won't. So cut the emotional tie.

Get the childcare arrangement, the money you're paying her or whatever, how much you're seeing the kid, sorted and done. And then when that is all finished, move on with your life. Exactly. Go on some dates, babe.

Go on some dates and start moving on. If you're still texting or sleeping with her, though, this is on you and this isn't going to get any better until you stop. Right. Finish this off. quickly. I've got two man's of the weeks that I can personally vouch for. We've got Jay. Jay is one of... Are we putting a picture of him? Oh, I don't know if he's agreed to that. Well,

well, he will. He's going to have to. If you're doing this. I'm doing it. One of Jay, Jay is one of James's very best friends. He is absolutely lovely. He does have children and he has good contact with him and he's a fantastic father. He's funny. He's kind. He's got a good job. He's generous and soft and sweet. And he's just, he's a lovely, lovely guy. So his Instagram is J-A-Y-S-C-O-R-A-H, J-S-C-S-C-O-R-A-H. He is, honestly, 10 out of 10 type of guy. Next one, I'm going to plug him again. I've plugged him before.

I'm going to plug him again because why not? It's my best mate, Chris. Chris Melvin is his Instagram. He is a director of his plumbing company. He has a little boy, sees him load, great father. no, there's no like, blurred lines between the parents. We're all good.

The co-parenting is fine. Don't worry, you're not going to step into that. He is fantastic. He has some tattoos. He's kind, he's lovely. He's a good fucking guy. And anyone who ends up with him,

you've sorted it, girl, because he's lovely. And you get to be friends with Lauren. Both of them, you get to be friends with me. Yeah. So, if you want to go out with me. Right, guys, thank you so, so much for listening.

We are now going over to the bonus. And on the bonus, we are talking about, But we're doing God's work and we are going through the beauty calendars. We're going to tell you what's good, what our standout bits on, which one we would buy. And we're also going to talk about something that is causing perioral dermatitis potentially in nails, nail ingredients. And we're going to tell you what we have found to help perioral dermatitis and what you girls have suggested for it. Now, don't forget, Patreon and Apple podcast subscribers get the main episode the day before everybody else.

so you can access the podcast on a Tuesday at 5 o'clock instead of waiting with bated breath until Wednesday. Yeah. So we will see you over there. I suggest you join, especially Patreon, because all the... We've got some exciting bits and bobs coming on Patreon. We're going to London to do this thing

where we're going to find out these great tips and we're going to tell you over... We've got some good stuff on on Patreon, so get on there, guys. Love you. Love you.