Nip Tuck - Lauren's Pregnant

Episode Date: November 20, 2024

The secret is finally out and our Lauren is pregnant! We tell you the full story on today’s episode so don’t miss out.In other news Ashley’s hungover after a funny night out at the MTV European Music awards. If you want to get in touch with the show then send us a DM to @niptuckpod or you can email us [e-mail] For BONUS episodes every Friday you can subscribe on Apple or you can sign up to our Patreon - patreon.com/niptuckpodMusic courtesy of BMG Production Music  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

you can do this that was really good don't you make it more red hi guys and welcome to nip tuck ashley's fucked hi everyone and you're not because i'm pregnant lauren's pregnant we've been having a baby me and christina were the first people she told well you and christina were within the first person three oh yeah yeah yeah um i actually told phoebe my friend because she was at the house um but yeah you two were first people after that i came we had an event and we met for some food didn't we um what made you do a test honestly it's the weirdest thing right so i will firstly say that it wasn't we've not spoken about this by the way this is our first chat yeah so yeah we've held off any chat haven't we so it

wasn't planned um i'm not going to say it was um because it wasn't we did as you'll probably know you know if you've listened we've gone back and forth i think it was always something that we were going to do we were i think i knew really we were going to have yeah definitely but i think we probably were gonna was gonna try in about a year because in my head and i don't know why because i got pregnant with fear so fast but in my head six months is a good time to expect that's the average the average so my kind of thought was we try in about a year it'll take about six months i was gonna get the supplements you know we had kate on and i think from having kate on sorry guys i've got a bad cold sorry my voice um i think with having kate on and you know the all the age thing

it made me think even less that i would get pregnant quickly um and then i have the natural cycles app so one of the things i was like i don't want people to think it doesn't work you know we promote it but i'm not gonna lie and say i use it to plan my pregnancy didn't check because i didn't no i didn't do what it said that's why it didn't work so i my yearly subscription ran out in july now because we work with them they renew it for us we don't pay yeah and i had to text our agent to tell them to renew it and I just never got around to it I had the wedding coming up so I didn't I hadn't put any data into the app for two months and I was thinking I'll sort it when I've got a minute I kind of on my calendar put where my periods were so I roughly knew when to expect

them and I kind of knew when we went away that was it was like middle of cycle so there was a chance I'd be fertile but honestly I just I didn't I don't know it was what like before your wedding yeah so the funniest thing is we actually only had sex twice in the whole week which is not a lot you were really busy we were busy when you had the kids we had the kids well the kids were next door but we were still busy with them we were busy we were drunk we were looking after people we had the wedding night you know you don't shag on the wedding night who does that who does that exactly so we actually didn't have much sex and normally we have much more um and then one day i think i can pinpoint the shag um we were around the pool and the kids were

with our family so they were happy and being looked after with grandmas and stuff and james was like come on to the room let's have a bit and i was like no no i can't be bothered how mad is it that if i'd have not done it i wouldn't be so i was like i looked around i thought go on then go on then right and me and him keep laughing because he lays crisp he said yeah on the bed he we keep laughing because we keep saying he keeps saying he said i walked off a big smile on my face bye everyone just nip into uh should get something from the room he said little did i know i was about to get you fucking pregnant he said i went off really cocky like bye guys um and then we just had a quick shag and the mad thing is as well i won't go into too much detail but do you know

when you finished i ran to the toilet let's just say right you didn't marinate i didn't marinate it was extinguished whatever the word is ex greet this did it when it was quick um it what's the it didn't ferment it didn't it came out um disintegrated yes because i was going back around the pool so it was it exited it exited so it's just the maddest thing so anyway fine get married blah blah blah and then we got home i thought nothing of it apps wasn't even a thought in my brain no symptom no because i found out on the day of mommy's period because of what happened is you lot we were all talking in the group chat weren't because christina was late you were early i can't remember yeah because i'd had that weird test yeah so we are all due at the

same time so it was in the chat because christina's like i'm late you're normally before me well i'm normally and i was thinking when am i actually due on so it's like i feel like i was due on yesterday but i couldn't remember and for me now and again i will be a day or two late and then i went to home bargains to get some home and bargains went to get a few bits and then i saw these tests and i just thought i'm gonna get one i would do one if i need one it's always good to have them in the house as well you know I'm not on contraception it's good to have and I might need one in the future whatever I'll get them got them and this is how like not even in my mind it was I got home with the tests I didn't go straight to the toilet and do the test I forgot I'd even

bought them like that's how not in my head it was and then I listened to Lauren Goodyear's um podcast while I was tidying up and she was talking about her pregnancies and that's just made me think oh shit I've got those tests downstairs so I went down just did it as I was doing something on my phone put it down i honestly i've done millions of tests and then i didn't even i didn't stare at it nothing i just did it to rule it out i don't know why i did it's like a hobby sometimes doing them so it's exciting but i wasn't though this is the thing i wasn't even like oh i just did it put it down and i looked and one line came you know the normal one and i was like oh yeah sweet like fine that's what i expected didn't think any of it and then literally it was like

ah yeah cool oh my god within seconds the second one came on it was very strong very strong um and i filmed it i have actually got videos what i'm gonna do is put i've taken secret videos over the past six weeks seven weeks and i'm gonna put them together and put them on patreon um of just me like um and saying how i feel and stuff so yeah um i was absolutely i don't think i've ever been as shocked in my entire life ever um you were very it took you a few days to set in it took a few fucking weeks um a shot i was just so shocked and but then when i worked out that we got pregnant at the wedding i thought oh this is meant to be like no i didn't want one just yet i'm not gonna lie i wasn't quite ready we weren't quite ready the house isn't big enough lots of things but

then i thought oh my god it was made at the wedding and then i thought in two and a half years of us being together we've never had one mistake no accident nothing what are the chances not before the wedding which would have ruined my wedding but just when the first point what like and i thought oh that's quite meant to be um so then i came and told ashley and christine i've got a video of that which i'll put on patreon because it's absolutely fucking hilarious we're in the smoking area of them the faces are just somewhere they i've filmed them and i just say and they're both like what and they're both just staring at me like it's really funny i look like a mannequin you're literally they just pour they just freeze so i'm gonna put that on patreon as

well because that's a really good video um so yeah i'm up the duff um well congratulations my love and i think it's definitely a girl i have no idea and we're not gonna find out either i don't think if i can hold it together um i don't know and you you definitely will i'm really gonna try not to because i just think like do you not want to save it for like christmas eve or something this is another thought i think that that's really a cute idea so another idea we had was surprise christmas morning that's one of the presents that we are 100 why would you not do that because i i because also what i will say with little ones and you've got many many this is going to be my they need to start connecting i get to whatever gender the baby is so they can be like i do get i'm having a

little brother called x i do get that do you know what i mean my thought behind it is this we've got two boys and two girls right we've got both doesn't really matter what it is whereas with thea i desperately go uh no i'm joking i actually don't mind um with fear i desperately wanted a girl i had to find out with her because i would have been so heartbroken if it was a boy whereas i don't really care now and my thought of this is right i'm having an elective section right so i'm having a plan section which i'm sure we'll talk about i've got a long time to talk about this shit um so i know the day it's gonna come i don't know yet but i will like at least let's have some excitement on the day when it's you nervous i want to know like i want them yeah i don't know

i just think it means it's up to you but i couldn't wait could you wait christina oh yeah i'm not finding out what no way i think it's a beautiful surprise i want him to tell me do you know what the mad thing is the second you find out you're pregnant like the second within that first three hours whether you mean to whether you don't mean to you have thought out the entire thing yeah yeah like the second that line comes up you're thinking what kind of birth do i want i want it cleaned or not want it cleaned where will i get my prom literally just like that and it consumed me for so long and i will on patreon and we'll talk about it we've got loads of time to talk about it all but i will be honest and just and say that i it's been it was a rough few weeks

wasn't it for both james and i it was a real shock um and i'm you feel so blessed and so like lucky to be pregnant and so many people aren't and are wishing for a baby but then at the same time it really was not planned so there was a lot of kind of oh fucking hell it's the whole like um house thing the house so this is the thing yeah i would be the same i'd be like oh well what where does the baby where's the baby gonna go um we've not moved house yet it's not been the right timing ideally we would have moved first um yeah but like snowy's still in my room and she's one next month there's a lot of it's fine yeah it's not it's taken a long time it's horrendous but fine it's taken a long time and you'll see in the videos i do i actually cry in

one of them because it's just oh my god you filmed yourself crying no i didn't have we started doing that now fucking i'm not already crying i talk about how like everything and then i get a little bit upset i'm not filming i didn't start crying and get out my camera i'm talking about how i feel and i get quite emotional um but yeah james as well as we'll totally admit because you know we're honest on here he it took him quite some time to get his head around it all but here we are and i won't have done i will have done by the time this comes out but we're going to tell the children this weekend how are you going to do it so i've thought of a few ideas so basically we were meant to be telling them in two weeks we weren't meant to be telling anyone yet we were

gonna do it on fear's birthday yeah but then it's ruining her birthday do not think no because she'd have a full birthday first and then at the end it would be like last present that you can share with everyone that was the plan okay we've got a present for you that you're gonna share right the reason we're not doing that now is i am already looking a little round in the middle you are very round yeah the bump is the bump is bumping already and you couldn't like last night we went there was no way i had to and i kept putting my hand on it because i kept thinking you're protective of it as well when you're out yeah yeah even though the baby's like tiny i was still no you can tell yeah you can fully tell and you've not been very well oh my god i've been so

ill the depression the depression i have had hits you doesn't it no i said to james the other day i said i think i've got a genuine bit of depression i've been so it's just i think it's because you feel like you want to be superwoman and you physically can't and i'm used to being superwoman and i said to james i'm used to running at 100 you have to listen to your body and you have to rest yeah i think you could have rested a bit more yeah maybe i've had to tell you off a few times yeah true but anyway i've been bloody you've been having really early nights i think that is the key when you're pregnant it's the exhaustion it's the exhaustion even when you have the baby you'll understand you know you don't get a text back off me after eight o'clock because i'm asleep

yeah well i to be fair i'm an early sleeper yeah like you have to get your sleep while you can but yes we were going to tell her on her birthday but because i'm showing now and i've had a few side eyes off the kids like the old the eldest just turned 11 and he thinks he keeps looking at me a bit weird and thea said the other day mum you look like you've got a baby busting out here she didn't mean it you can't lie to her either and i was like shut up i'm bloated um so i'm worried that they're gonna clock on before we get chance and i don't want to and then if they ask you to your facial yeah yeah yeah we've brought it all forwards and we're going to tell them this weekend so one thing i thought but i've decided not to we're going to the grotto on friday with

trafford centre i was going to get santa to tell them you know when they're all sat with him i was going to just grab the lady and be like can you tell the kids that santa i mean i love that like i'll give them a teddy to read while they're sat with santa and be like and we've got and one of the acts got a really special christmas present for you action goes a bit like this is why i'm not because do you know what even though it's lovely it's shocking for them it's overwhelming yeah and you don't want to do it in a public place that's exactly why i'm not doing it so i thought it could be lovely sometimes like do you remember nikki hughes our friend her video where the kids just run over crying to her and just hold her yeah it's just and i don't want to do that so and i just

thought i thought actually needs to be contained it's a bit overwhelming yeah yeah like that so i think i don't know yeah i just think i'm gonna get them all on the sofa give them a little box each say everyone open it at once and then the baby one the four-year-old probably won't have a clue what's going on someone will have to tell her she'll be like um but i know thea's going to be very excited that i am excited for that but i'm excited not to be lying anymore because this is the other thing james is like you've not been putting that look after you the james has been like you've not been putting much on your stories recently and i said because what the fuck have i got to say i'm grumpy i'm sick i can't talk i'm like it feels what food have you been eating

hot noodles i have gained half a stone that's not that bad what in six weeks that's a pound a week the average weight gain which is healthy throughout pregnancy i'm sure is two and a half stone which is like the the normal yeah i don't mind but don't quote me i don't mind gaining the weight when it's baby but right now it's not it's me i've gained weight if it's water of attention and also again you have to listen to your body yeah i'm not what your body wants because there's a reason why you're craving it yeah all i've eaten is bread potatoes beans salt food noodles i loved potato cake yes crumpets potato buttery um bagel thins yes all that salt salt salt salt yeah like literally sweet not interested in sweet a buttery pasta yes with

cheese on yeah i'm not cheese i like cheese i'm not interested in anything um i'm not interested in anything fizzy drinks yes i've been drinking and cordial yes i've been drinking diet coke i never see me but it's do you know why that is it's because um the fizz distracts your brain from the sickness is it yeah yeah so this is the problem i've had and this happened with fear as well the only thing that stops me feeling sick is eating or drinking yeah because it distracts me that's normal i've been overeating and i'm feeling really sick because yeah you can't win anyway so that's that so yes that's that and we wanted to tell you guys first well you will have seen on instagram but we wanted to explain it yeah and for example like last night you did tell

a few people i had to you had to i had to the thing is i've had it before where i was pregnant and it was after i'd had a miscarriage yeah and i didn't want to tell anyone i didn't even tell you for a few weeks until i'd had my first scan yeah um and they wouldn't scan me till eight weeks because they were like we're not bringing you back and forth to find a heartbeat because your anxiety anxiety will be too bad yeah because my first scan i had at five and a half to check there was only one and it was in the right place yeah yeah i felt i just needed to and i'm to kind of get our head around it we've got the option to as well yeah there was no um they couldn't see a heartbeat yet that's normal so the lady said to me ashley i'm not scanning you till you're eight

weeks so i had to wait for eight weeks and basically like ed's sister was getting married abroad i remember yeah and i just had to say i'm really sorry i can't come it was a three-day wedding can you imagine not drinking at like seven weeks pregnant with anxiety and sick and ill and then everyone did say to me when i was out and about if i ever went out when i was pregnant why aren't you drinking yeah would you ever do that not on purpose but if if we went somewhere and somebody said i'm not drinking about oh my god are you not why not am i yeah not on purpose just yeah i feel like i might ask the trick is though when you're pregnant um i used to have a lime and soda in a wine or champagne glass i think if you've got something in a champagne glass

so i've tried the non-alcoholic prosecco no secco no secco which looks like prosecco and it's fine and that's but i it's just when you're out like i don't drink that much anyway so it's not as a good one because it tastes like gin and tonic in a weird way and it probably smells like you know what i mean yeah like it's that like um yeah so you get that feeling a bit but at the same time like what's the point in even having no there's no point because you can't get smashed so because then also you have one and then you want another one yeah and then you want another and another and you can't so there's just no point but yeah i think um it made me feel sick it's really hard i think like how smug are you today because i'm hungover yeah we'll talk about that in a minute

she's really hungover um i think hiding it is a really it's really difficult and that's one of the reasons that i've had really bad anxiety as well and i felt so down because i can't tell anyone so like it's it's stupid that we don't tell people before 12 weeks but i get it but i don't um so a program to watch about that that really changed my perspective on things was mylene class did that we watched it and spoke about it on the pod didn't we yeah she did a documentary about miscarriage and she said why when a woman is in like her most vulnerable place can she not tell her work work work needs to support you your friends your friends need to support you your family it's so hard isn't it odd you are literally in your like i as we said before i'm used to being

superwoman and i've just completely lost that control and i've had to not do things i've had to be sick i've had to get in bed and you can't tell anyone like luckily i could but if i worked in an office what would i do like you'd be great i'd be great yeah i have to tell them and we don't also though i do get not telling because of evil eye there is i mean for me um i get that the more people you tell if if you do have a miscarriage and more people you have to explain that to no but then you've explained it you've explained it and so then it's like that's the end yeah yeah it's a tough one i think that's why i've struggled because i felt really ill i feel bigger than normal like all these things and and i can't talk about it so i think hiding it drinking what me and

christina was just saying then is one of the first signs if you go to a party and somebody's not drinking you think they're pregnant and you assume the yeah you do yeah you do yeah and then you go home you go do you know what he's thinking yeah yeah yeah unless they've made an excuse up which really is silly because you should just be able to not drink if you don't want to drink but doesn't really happen and you shouldn't be also no one should go up to you and ask you as well i think so someone has asked me already who um someone not that close you were quite close um yeah but she saw my belly i was like oh my god come here i know who you mean because it upset you a little bit didn't it it just took you back it took me by surprise because i was just like what if i'd

just been fat she's lovely she didn't mean like i do know what you know i know really well but i just thought what if i just had a big belly that day someone did that to me once and i was like i didn't want to have to tell you and i had to tell you when you've taken that choice off me i would never ever honestly you'd ask me oh yeah but i mean like if you were a something unless they were like fucking out there obvious even then mate you've got to be fucking careful because they might have you done it before no but i know a few people that have said when is it when are to somebody that's already had it yeah that happened to me i was at the con club and sasky was like three weeks old and the lady was like oh my god she must have been fucked but she was like

i can't believe you you're gonna have two under two or something and i was like no like that is and i was fine like that's not like but yeah it was it's not ideal is it no i'm looking forward to just being able to talk about it just be normal and just yeah have five in your mummy era oh yeah no i'm excited now i am as soon as what are you gonna do about your car you're gonna have to get the same as mine you take the piss all the time out of me no i'm not what i'm gonna do james is getting a seven seater car a bus no a um viano no uh defender yes okay the boot's not very or maybe not a defender no no a oh i can't remember it's a vw no it's a rain a land rover of some sort i can't remember and he's going to use it

for work and it's got seven seats but to be honest we do have the kids like 50 we have the boys but they're in different places the amount of time that we have us all together even though i would forced ed to get me a new car as soon as i found out i was pregnant with the third one i can tell you don't have them all on one hand the amount of times we've used exactly so like normally through the week it's just it's probably just me and fear then when we've got the other kids he gets them from one side i get fear it's only like an outing at the weekend it's not often that we are even then you can go into two cars exactly so it's no biggie the main problem is the house but listen to this there's a house for sale near me right it's been for sale for ages i

drive past it and you know you just every time you look at it i woke up in the middle of the night with a premonition and it was like go and look at that i woke up like go and view it go and see the house you could be very happy i woke up with like this have you bought the viewing no i'm gonna go on the way home i'm gonna knock on the door how long has it been up for a while i know every time i drive past it i look more and i look nice yeah it's nice it's a nice family home and it's around the corner from me so we could literally move in very easily um we roll there i think the plan is the plan at the minute is to stay where we are so i've got no stress while i'm pregnant can't be fucking arsed the baby's going to be in with us anyway for a minimum the first six months

and then we will look to move in like a year that's the plan unless this house that's drawing me to it but i don't want to be pregnant and ripping out a kitchen like that gives me i know but then at the same time towards the end you do get like that you want to rip a kitchen yeah yeah like it's mad like you you want to rip a kitchen like you you redesign everything yeah i used to do that it's weird i used to do that yeah it's nesting isn't it yeah yeah right i'm bored of talking about that now anyway we've got a long time i got absolutely yeah last night ashley got white girl you weren't so let's just no it wasn't at any point i can remember every second of the that at no point was i pissed like falling over so it was just a consistent level we went to the

mtv ema awards yeah with boohoo.com boohoo.com um so they invited us it's quite a last minute thing um we must have been last on the list um someone must have dropped out so we got invited um with boohoo and we went there so what we had to do is we got ubers there right and then we had our hair and makeup done yeah i started drinking in the uber at three o'clock tom and amelia did our makeup yes and hair it was really good really good yeah um they're both lovely so we got our makeup done and then we went to the arena oh mate right so we got there right i don't mean to sound like ungrateful but but the walk was not like we had to walk down a river fault down a it wasn't boohoo's fault it was the a what is it the co-op live who shops does the co-op co-ops huge mate

they've got the funeral care they've got the bank the bank i know but they've got the shops how many of the co-op shops are there there's no shit loads i thought it was like an old thing like quick save no there's loads of me i thought it was like that the co-op so we get there and because because of sorry we're having to cut a massive section that actually just said because it's completely inappropriate and almost like we could get sued no we couldn't get sued but it's just also it's false information it's not false information talking about is why are we talking about fucking co-op i'm not finished yeah so we had to walk so we had a hair and they were in that fucking massive cunt of an arena as well right and we had to walk

and they're in the bar downstairs right okay right co-op live okay so we had to walk 15 minutes in the pissing down rain you should have seen the state of us we were laughing our heads off we got there we had hair and makeup done we're like drum rats anyway we went in the box the box was amazing there was food there was like nothing nothing literally when i say walking 15 minutes Yeah, a 15-minute walk, and it was down a canal. Down a canal, cobbled streets. And then there was also, because it was piercing down, a stream had erupted into the room.

And we were all slipping all over. It was not good. So you didn't walk the red carpet then? So when we got round the corner, I was like, right, where's the red carpet then, guys? And everyone just looked at me like, weirdo. And then I made a joke that no one laughed at. Wow, we do that a lot, don't we?

I thought it was funny. Hey, I'm like that Lillian and Bonnie Blue. I look like 100 men have ran through me. we were covered in like wet yeah so we got there the box was lovely um we had really good seats really good view the food was good our friend poppy was there asha was there we met some lovely people the food was lovely who played i couldn't tell you no we didn't we're not very musicy are we um and then i backdoored it so i left at like i don't know what half eight probably didn't you that saturday nine nine was it uh but you didn't start till eight so you were there a while i did

yeah but we got there it's like half six didn't we too early so tell me um and we kept getting told off so when i left you didn't seem smashed i wasn't at any point it was just consistently pissed so why are you so hungover do you think it's because you were i ended up in the gay village till half right so when i left i want you to tell us what happened when i left why when i left what happened um did it get rowdier did the box get rowdy yeah and then we went to the after party bit in the top of it what's that like a vip area no it was weird and then was there any vips jedward were there so you actually saw jedward well i heard that they were there i don't know i was bog-eyed by that point can i just ask there was an official after party where was it i can't

remember i've got it on my phone i think it was at um monkey house christian did the food for the i think it wasn't monkey house and he texted me like are you going to the after party no listen no obviously i'm pregnant i'm not so we went to monkey house wait wait we went to numerous places we went to yours first i've never paid a hundred quid for a bottle of whispering angel for me and poppy um and then uh we went to monkey house and i think that was where the after party was because i went on daily mail this morning and i kept seeing faces of people that were in there like very distinctive people right so i think it was in there okay um because if you were going to go anywhere like the gay village what i would have thought no and then it finished and then we went

to the gay village i've never been to the gay village have you not and we bumped into lucas's friend did you which one the one that works at louis oh okay yeah yeah yeah um and yeah it was just yeah i've never been to the gay village is it just like bars and karaoke bars and stuff yeah did you see me any listeners yeah because we always meet listeners loads out don't we and we've got a nice little gay following yeah so it's nice to see them well no even at um monkey house unfortunately some people will have seen me swinging around so you see half four yeah so i don't yeah but it takes me an hour to get home because the motorway of course is always shut i don't sleep well at all i don't and i woke up at half four and looked at my phone and actually

a text at like quarter past four like i'm just leaving manchester and i thought oh so um i got in at half four and then um i um went and got in bed and then the kids woke up at half five so yeah it's um and then i've got a photo shoot after this what are you actually doing uh it's a photo shoot christina i sent you the thing did you read it or not paleness is offending look at that you know how I said I'm the whitest person I know you are

that's whiter than a piece of A4 paper mate yeah it's offending me put your ankle away look at that how white it is I'm looking at it now it's blue

it's giving corpse look at it compared to your face anyway I'll put my ankle away yeah you're giving me put it away right so tell us about the shoot

but for what for facelift Sunday Faces it's called or something Sunday Facelift i don't know mate but i've got a photo shoot and i'm not allowed to wear makeup and i look like a you don't you're calming down now her face was bright you know you've drunk alcohol and you've got like rosacea like an old alcoholic man that have drunk for years and they have a big rosacea

nose and a big bulbous tip and you were red but you're calming down now i think by the time you do the shoot you'll start coming back to life but no sleep honestly when you text me and i woke up i just i couldn't sleep after that because i was you know when you got like second hand like oh i thought how is she gonna do this we've got space nk tomorrow at clavridges i'm getting picked up at 8 a.m that's not horrific i can sort my outfits out at 6 a.m can't i yeah i've got to be on the train at nine so i need to leave mine at half seven same time are you gonna organize tonight honestly do you know what the clothes situation for me right now gives me the worst anxiety do you want to borrow something off oh yeah something from you do you know what i'd be

good that sauce unknown blazer that i wore for a lot fantastic i can't the size of my i can't get anything um and because also as well just to point out no one will know at this point as well i know you can tell people tomorrow i can because it's coming up so yeah you can't post but then if you're posting pictures i think i'll quite enjoy you doing that so last night when we were doing pictures like i was trying to move poppy was showing me model angles to hide my fat stomach but yeah i'm dreading it i've got a massive h&m order and a massive asus order at home um and i'm gonna try it on tonight and but i'm gonna have to whatever i wear i wear a pair of trainers as well to get on the train so i'm just gonna look an absolute dick well i'm gonna

probably if i've got the same driver at least i'll be able to have a blankie and some slippers the reason so ashley's getting a driver but the reason i didn't is because i think in the car you're looking at like four hours aren't you four hours but it's door-to-door oh i'd much rather get the train trains two hours no i but when i was pregnant i used to get the train because you're pissing every 10 minutes and you stop for a piss on the way to london and adds half an hour on no no i after because she's not drinking obviously is she so i'll have a few wines it's actually not that safe to for me to get the train home by myself after a few flights i mean look at what you're doing like that there and back in a day tuesday yeah tomorrow okay and i'm exhausted

already yeah i mean i don't i'm just gonna keep it real i don't have massive amounts of sympathy for you because you are going to space nk event in carriages that is pretty glam it is it's unbelievable yeah but when you don't feel glam i know but there's a lot of people who don't feel glam and have to go to work yeah you're being really ungrateful don't get me wrong i'm excited to go and i'm excited have you been i'm not well never mind the pregnancy i'm actually fucking ill i know have you been to claridge's before yeah have you seen the christmas tree yeah and the carol singers i know it's so cute no i am i'm just not well claridge's has opened a new spa has it inside the hotel yeah yeah yeah yeah i'm being unfair but like lauren you actually you've

not actually mentioned that every day about three o'clock you are sick and feel like shit it is no i've been yeah so ill it'll stop at about week 16 i've been so ill like and then you'll start getting hot i know i've been like i've had it's been so rough so yeah it has been six weeks every day it's been bad feel sorry for those people that have that hyper what's it called hyper something or honestly when i say it's been bad it's been what to expect people have to literally live in hospital and be hooked up to a drip no i haven't been like that my friend had that and she weighed less when she had the baby than she did i've heard that it's awful no it's not been like that but the problem i've got now is i've got this chest thing and this cold but

it will be fine right anyway enough whinging now we talk about the zip halo micro current device all the time and we have an unbelievable black friday discount code for you you will get 20 yes that is 20 to 0 percent off you just need to use the code nip tuck for 20% off your zip halo and nip gel that's n-i-p-g-e-l for 25% off the gels it's the best discount on the device of the year i can't believe how many people are now using zip i feel like everyone's getting onto it now did you see the sally hughes review i did honestly it's unbelievable to get rid of that puff sometimes or to tighten to brighten it has so many uses it's so tiny and portable and honestly i'm obsessed it literally like lifts it sculpts your

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because you do have to use it consistently we certainly do what it does is it brings really transformative results so it boosts your circulation it reduces blemishes it leaves your skin firmer brighter and glowing so first time you use it you get a good result starts to get better and then long term it works as well that's right so after three weeks you will notice long lasting benefits of the zip payload we love our zip payload and like i said we have that amazing offer for you guys the girls on patty love it as well they're always talking about it on there so guys just a reminder the code nip tuck will get you 20 off and the code nip gel will get you 25 off the gels the gels are incredible as well and there's different ones for each skin type isn't there

zip halo really is the device that does it all thank you for sponsoring today's podcast she looks like a dementor she's got a black she's got a black um blanket over her head and she's eating like a little monster right guys you are you are so not okay would you be wanking all day wanking all day why do you wank when you're hungover no it's because you're just an effort no it's because you just don't know what to do because you're in bed and you're like cozy aren't you in like no i think it's just because you're like what the fuck and also you want to touch yourself to make yourself feel better i don't know right guys

i have got a dilemma enough of our dilemmas we've got one of yours now we're going to help you with i have a dilemma i went out last night and i stayed out in the gay village till fourth oh sounds horrendous it's you right i've got a dilemma guys it's a long one i'm a member at the gym in my small town why am i honestly i can't even speak and i'm having to read this and i'm friendly with a few people in it as one of the regulars the next part is not the dilemma but i do think it's got some relevance unfortunately earlier this year my marriage wasn't in a good place and a guy from the gym started messaging me absolutely love bombed me which I stupidly fell for and we made a plan to get together luckily it didn't happen and my husband and I actually

worked things out and we're in a better place ever now I'm in therapy now and I realized that I was having some kind of breakdown and the other guy took advantage of it prick fast forward a few weeks from my own gym related drama I was on the school run the other day when I saw a girl from the gym heading into a pub car park at 9 a.m looking shifty a second later the owner of my gym so this is not the person she had the affair with then is it let me just check no okay okay a second later the owner of the gym pulled into the car park and she got into the back seat ah well they're bonking aren't they his rear windows are completely blacked out they're both married with children and The gym owner has a crush on the girl, which everyone knows about,

and was clearly reciprocated. Her car was parked by the school, the same spot, all day. By coincidence, I saw him heading back to the pub car park at 3pm, right before the school run again, to drop her back off, I assume. This means they spent the whole day together, in secret, while his wife and her partner were at work and the kids were at school. What? Usually, I would keep well out of this,

but my own experiences of almost ruining my marriage due to somebody at the gym and making this more difficult and i don't want anyone else making the same mistakes that i did although i've never done anything beyond messaging and i never would have what should i do in this situation with that guy no it's a different guy but what she's saying is she she's not judging because she nearly did it herself and she actually stay the fuck away from this it's not your what would you do in this situation there's no way this was innocent and it's all so sneaky okay so first of all i think what she's trying to say is there's a part of her that actually wants to help this girl i think and

kind of say to her i nearly did this i nearly ruined my marriage but then i realized she's already done it why i was doing it and i think it's not that she wants to grass on her necessarily it's that she wants to say please stop this while you still can and don't ruin your marriage because she kind of feels like she gets how that girl might be feeling because she's done it and she didn't get to that level with it but she's glad she didn't and that's what i read from it um and i think that's really nice and i grow it's not fucking neighborhood watch i know and i leave it alone it's not your business i think i agree i think it's nice that you feel that way and you want to help stay in your own lane stay in your own lane if you take if you take on other people's

shit you carry it then and you don't know what's around the corner like you've only got you can only fill your cup so far and i just think oh no thank you i agree i think i know people that have had affairs before and they've told me about it and i just don't say anything obviously i want to hear the juicy gossip yeah you want you want to know like the positions and what hotel they meet yeah exactly um it's exciting also they she doesn't know that it's true well no no not that no she doesn't know the the woman's scenario she could be in a really unhappy yeah yeah yeah marriage he could be cheating on her like not that it makes it okay it doesn't it doesn't make it okay but also let's not fucking judge so i hate these people but i'm not sure she's judging

it feels to me like she's like i want to warn her so she doesn't give it okay okay i have a different one if you didn't know her and you're going up to someone came up to you and was like excuse me i can see you're having an affair you'd be like your car was parked outside here with the wrench their private wrench right listen so on another podcast there was a dilemma like this but it was different because it was with an underage girl that is where you would maybe you're safeguarding there exactly whereas this is two consenting adults yeah doing what they want to do yeah and we don't know the ins and outs this is what i did once and i couldn't help myself a fake email address no so basically i happen to have known some time ago user one two

five seven i happen to know that a guy had slept with a girl he had a girlfriend and children no and i um saw him on a night out and i'd known this information for a long time because someone just the person told me something it was legit she told me she'd done it and the shaggy shaggy told me and i forgot about it in all honesty because i don't i know that no no of no of them yeah yeah yeah i forgot about it anyway that particular guy came up to me on a night out i was like hi are you all right and i was like yeah yeah good and i thought i can't were you fucked yes and i even if i hadn't been and i just went up to him and i was and how did i say this without making it obvious let's call the girl sarah and i just went to her and i

went how's sarah and his face white like white like a ghost like my ankles white and i just went how's sarah and then i said i waited and let's call his girlfriend michelle and then i was like hope michelle's well and i just stared at him you bitch and i walked off and i'll never tell anyone i will never go out when you were younger little prick and you used to panic now yeah to people yeah and i just thought you can wake up in the morning with the anxiety with the raging anxiety that i know and who else knows and i'm gonna tell someone and i'm not gonna but i just thought you little prick do you know it reminds me of that meme of kim woodburn in big brother when she's like i don't you know and he's got three kids i fucking love her i love to get

her on the podcast i fucking love do you think you'd have to pay her to come on oh well yes it's kim and aggie do you remember kim and they had a massive ding dong what happened with kim and aggie who do you prefer i like kim she says it how it is i like him kim and then wasn't aggie scottish yeah kim in the jungle last night with the squash egg i need to tell you this it's really funny so no it's not i'm dying i'm gonna have to say it so there's a scottish girl there i actually don't watch love island apart from the last one because my friend was on but i don't know anyone off love and she apparently has pops later she was on the year before i didn't know either i didn't know either gorgeous scottish girl lovely girl so she's obviously scottish there was

shit loads of scotch eggs anyway there's these scotch eggs how many was there but like when do you go to a fucking the mtv awards and there's 10 scotch eggs points at the scotch eggs and goes oh scotch eggs like you scottish eggs but the girl and the girl And she was like, yeah, cool story, bro. Yeah, it was just really funny. And I was like, let's do a TikTok of the Scottish girl eating a scorched egg. It was so funny. She just pointed, she went, scorched egg, like you, Scottish, Scottish egg.

And the girl was just like, let's do a TikTok of the Scot with the scorched egg. And I was just crying. This is what you can got from Nina. But listen, nothing as bad as what I've done in the past. But she was the girl. Yeah, I'm asking for you to not be sat next to me tomorrow at lunch. really funny i had to share it when am i else have i done a really i've done a really embarrassing thing it was when we were interviewing someone and before we started i went so what do you do

and she was like i've got a podcast and i was like oh and we begged to have you on it was so bad how bad was it did you want the ground to swallow you that was bad anywho bing bong boo that's an hour you've had your time you adulterer

you and your little bitchy friends I just googled Kim and Aggie by the way why did they fall out I bought their book for us right I'm just going to tell you now why they fell out They're the original fucking Mrs. Hinch, mate. They've not spoken to each other for 12 years following a major fallout at a panto.

They were in a panto together. Oh, I love that. Could you imagine you two doing a panto? Oh, yeah, we'd be quite good at that, but I couldn't be arsed. She said, I think for chalk and cheese. Because of the friction there was between us, it created this energy.

I mean, most of it was ad lib. We had an idea storyline, but we just made it up as we went along. Like Trini and Susanna. I think for Kim it's normal to have conflict and I think that if things are calm and easy she finds it quite difficult That's me and you

I like it easy peasy She said there were lots of highs and a few lows We're doing in Panto in Brighton I was really upset and I lost my rag with her and I said to her you've really overstepped the mark now I'm fucking hell And then they've not spoken for 12 years

What about Trini and Susanna Are they falling out no i think they're still around can i just say like do you know like celebrity mysteries that you want to know what happened is when the kardashians fell out with tommy hembro oh and someone got carried out she got carried out of the kylie lip kit um launch on a ambulance stretcher i heard and they all unfollowed yeah no no allegedly allegedly people said that no she said she was really jet lagged and she'd had too much to drink she doesn't usually drink and she passed out do you know what there's so many celebrity things i'd like to know a little bit

more about the um jordan and kylie kylie stuff because they're friends again now oh yeah because she shagged tristan i don't know if she shagged him no she didn't she she sat on his knee and kissed him or something he's a how he's got away with what he's got away with not really has he are they not back together no i think she still lets him in the house and shit she's just a lovely i love chloe yeah like i don't know i don't think we know anything about any of them um what what other celebrity mysteries should we carry this on the bony yeah yeah yes let's carry it on the bony guys just a quick one we still have a few spaces left at our christmas party so you can party

the night away till 4am with Ashley in G Bar Liverpool after the show with me I'll take you all along

we'll do the homeless walk and I'll be in bed and she'll be in bed no you won't you'll be you'll be having fun yeah yeah

we'll be dancing on tables and shit so if you want to come and have a ball with us head over to our Instagram for more info

on tickets but now we're going on to our bonus if you are a patreon gorgeous member or an apple subs you'll be able to listen to it and if not you better get it or you're not going to know what we're going to talk about love you loads bye