Nip Tuck - Let's Unpack the Condom!

Episode Date: September 30, 2025

We react to the judgement of Kylie Jenner and why do we fall apart over a dilemma? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hi guys, welcome to Nib Tuck. Not giving a fuck. Fuck, we don't say that bit very often anymore. We kind of lost that with that when we became commercialised. It's Wednesday, we're here in your ear. In your ear? In your ear. We're here in your ear.

So, we are going to get into a chat about a clip that we saw. okay so there's this woman and she's some kind of like journalist i have seen her write weird articles before on daily mail and thought uh brianie gordon who the fuck are you and she writes a lot about like influencers being trash and how we shouldn't be you know um exist yeah like okay all of that she writes because her job is really wholesome isn't it molly may she's got some kind of podcast not sure who listens to it not many well we don't actually know that i do from the following but anyway so i'm not even going to say the name of the podcast i'm not giving it up ellen atlanta a girl called ellen atlanta will share this clip on patreon

but i have shared it on my instagram so you may have seen it talk them through the clip plos so the clip which i think it might have gone viral is this briny person and she's interviewing ellen Atlanta who I think is some form of beauty journalist editor writer um I'm not exactly sure I'll be honest but one of the questions that she asks this lady is which celeb has had a face that didn't work so first of all weird question first of all Bryony that's on you for asking that question you shouldn't even have asked it for this girl to respond you're in a very bad position shouldn't have asked it don't like it which face didn't work what are we her face didn't operate so then correctly so then like i say she shouldn't have asked the question but this ellen should have

said i don't know what you mean like she could have shut that down but she didn't what she did was go on to say that when she and i don't know why she worked with her don't quite understand it but she was on set with Kylie Jenner. She then goes on. Allegedly. Allegedly, this is what she says. She then goes on on this clip to say that Kylie's face just didn't work.

It didn't operate properly. It didn't look right in the flesh. Let me get the exact, I'm just going to get it. It's weird. Whose face just doesn't work. Worked with Kylie Jenner for a full day, but we shot her for the cover of a magazine that I was working for.

And so I was in LA at the time and we did the photo shoot with her. One of the strangest days of my life, honestly. it was very confronting to see her in the flesh in real life and to realise that she had crafted a face and a body

that didn't quite work in real life and it wasn't supposed to work from my perspective it was very obvious that she'd had a significant amount of work done on her face and body to me the BBL was very obvious it was very overt the filler and the reverse were very overt

it was very uncanny she looked odd when she talked and when she smiled like her face just didn't quite operate in a way that translates physically in real life so she's saying that her bbl was overt her botox and fillers were she'd made a face that didn't quite work who's the person that tells you if the face works or not because absolutely and i think her face is working well it doesn't matter at what point are we sitting here and just because she's had work done not work done whatever we're criticizing a woman's face and we're saying and body it didn't work okay so that would be me and

lauren okay do you know how much shit we would get as two i'm gonna say attractive young women yeah not young but i like to think so okay i need to be careful no yeah right that have clearly had work done how much shit we would get off the facebook mums sorry to generalize if we sat here and slagged off how a woman's body operated right but then if we look a little bit yeah more lived in shall we say maybe the faces that operate yeah yeah no bbls around here then slag it off oh the facebook mums yeah that's okay love it i i just don't understand how we've got to a point where it's okay to sit on a podcast and make a clip discussing how a woman looks and that it doesn't look right so would it be okay if the question was was there anybody on set that

you thought was fat right and then the woman goes yeah actually we had whoever on and her stomach it didn't operate it was hanging down it was wibbling and wobbling and it was it was overtly huge yes is that okay no no and everyone and she wouldn't dare say it but because it's kylie jenner and because we're talking about she's had work done it's okay she had a haircut and the haircut was god if kylie was stood in front of her would she have said any of that to her face the other thing is are you stupid are you that full of self-confidence and that thought that that um what's the word self-righteous that you think that you can discuss people like that and people are going to want to work with you in future or next time you do a front cover with

a woman is she going to look at you and think what are you thinking about how i look i'm not exactly sure but if you want to work in this industry and you want to work with women that is not the right way to go about it and when i looked at the comments i was actually really pleased because the majority of some fucking dickhead from some man from chicago with a picture of a fish had commented like yeah i agree she's heard but most people were saying disgusting not appropriate and shame on you briarney for even asking that question disgusting it needs to go and i was so pissed off by it these fucking videos from these aesthetic people of analyzing what x y has had done to their face i have them done on me i have let's analyze and it's horrible

well we wouldn't do it it's almost like if you have had botox filler surgery because you've chosen this is the only way i can work it out if you've chosen to look a certain way because it was your decision and it wasn't what god gave you you've chosen to do that therefore you are then allowed to be judged on it to be judged because you made a choice whereas if you if you were born with a big nose or naturally big lips yeah or a big nose or a big whatever something we're not allowed to talk about that because you didn't choose to have it that's the only way i can think that people must make it okay toxic this other women slagging other women off like the aesthetic ones with the love island young girls i hate that i think it's absolutely we all need to start

saying it and then a really well-known aesthetic person that i followed don't follow them anymore put on or her social media team put on i can only guess it was like this is what all these celebrities would look without work done like an ai version of like kylie hayley and and also it's not even true but also like who gives a fuck just it's like wrap on with your patience there's a part what i can't grasp is there's a there's a part of our industry and a part of media and a part of social media and all the rest of it where we're wanting to be more real and we are also not fat shaming we're not plus size shaming we've got to be very careful with the word plus size or with the word you know we're very careful yet in the other breath

were sat analysing women but were not allowed to say I just don't, it doesn't quite make sense why? Jealousy? The reason why that Briony and whoever else was on there doing it is because they think they're superior

and so they're doing it because they're saying, they think in their head that they're doing right by outing these women like oh all these young girls want to look like Kylie but I'll let you into a secret it's all work done and that's why they do it but there's a way there's a way to do that superior to like they think that they take themselves too seriously yeah it comes down to

the quote on devil wears prada of andy laughing at the at the belts and it's all the thing like you think you're so yeah it's the same thing it's these women who think that they're too serious to yeah to look like a silly little girl why can't you be glamorous and look nice and do and still be successful yeah yeah no i totally agree yeah it really freaked me out and that brainy i'm really pissed off with her really pissed off how would she fucking like it how the fuck is that daily mail podcast when daily mail surely want women to read the shit but this is the problem ashley a lot of women do want to read that and this is the problem with society in general that women want to read stuff because it makes them feel better about themselves because

they look in the mirror and think well and i kind of get and there's parts of it i understand where we you know you look at kai and you think why don't i like that well probably because she doesn't look like that so there's a little bit of that not wanting to feel like shit when you've got unrealistic expectations that we're looking at i agree with that yeah but there's too far the other way as well but some women enjoy reading about other women's downfalls and bad things because it makes them feel better about their own insecurities and that's what it all comes down to like i don't feel better though if i see a woman and she looks different in real life that doesn't make me feel better about how i look because that's not me you know but i think that comes

with like age and growth and we've had this platform for a long time now which has taught us to to not give a fuck i agree like we yeah i think i think i have developed as a person so much like how detrimental like stuff like that can be because we've been and affect you yeah so you perhaps look at it in a different way if you've been in that position which yeah i suppose not a lot of people would understand that did you watch that tinder oh fucking hell what a fucking freak what freak what's it called oh my god the face the the high school tinder oh no this is a different one no i started that one i couldn't watch it because it was american james hates anything american same no should we say that should we say i don't know no but he said because he said that

they're all so bloody wild out there that he doesn't trust they're all so bloody wild no but do you know that let me just tell you this if you haven't watched it do you know about that and the ending of that no one like it was her mom it was the mom yeah that was sending google what they're called the mom was sending texts for over two years to the daughter and the daughter's boyfriend saying a lot of sexual things but also saying go and kill yourself to her own daughter for two years they were trying to find who this person was that was sending anonymous texts and the texts were like you're fucking ugly you're flat disgusting ass all this shit they were saying your part your boyfriend's gonna cheat on you because you don't shag him him and my pussy all

this rude stuff it was her mother that was sending the messages to her well there was another one she's still friends with the mom yeah she lived with the mom didn't she they were like that she was coming home crying her eyes out i've got a message today saying i've got a disgusting flat arse i should go and kill myself that the reason my boyfriend doesn't want me is because i'm not giving him a pussy that kind of wording that he wants to get creamed by someone else this type of wording and their mum was comforting and we've got to find out who this is and then after a few years some investigator comes in the ip address leads to the house the mother's phone who has secret phones and then the witch so what they said is that she had a form of munchausen by proxy but instead of

making the woman the girl ill she would put her down so low that she needed a mum to make her feel better about it all it was nuts i've just spoiled it for everyone but yeah watch that fucking thing because my head i knew the ending but my head still fell off there was another so go on which one did you mean i think it was a geordie guy yeah that was a basically like a tinder swindler and he did it to like numerous women oh i thought that was what i was like and then they found it and like yeah like i think he'd done it to like 10 women at the same time and and like it's in the lives yeah yeah he stole over like a two-year

period 200 grand off women and what we would do i won't tell you too much because i'll what's it called patreon i've just tried searching it's called like dating up something and he looked like a right freak and like his lies were all do you remember catfish though and yeah but these girls like how good he kept saying to them should we book a holiday so we used to use this same tactic copy and paste that do you know um i said i forgot to say on the pod i've had a few girls send me james has got a fake profile on instagram now i forgot to mention it on here a few girls have sent it me saying like quite obviously it's not him but just so you know and they've got a lot of followers it's so scary i bet there's some tinder and hinge accounts with james's face

bet you bet you any money but and i bet they are he's fucking women over or he's having multiple affairs either or not great either way yeah yeah not good what other telly have you watched i am so i'm late to the party right and christina is banged on about this and i thought i was too superior to watch it i thought i'm not one of those people married at first sight it started my obsession started loves it so does thea my obsession started and then do you know what her and teddy have been doing like will you marry me yeah has she started doing that as well and like right everyone stop we're gonna get married now no this is the weirdest and they're like obsessed we're married and they keep having fake weddings now kneel down and ask me no this is the weirdest

thing right so exactly exactly the same yeah thea got hold of tommy's hands these fucking four months old he's in my arms and started going we're having a wedding i'm gonna propose to you she started doing these i swear and tommy was just i think i've got a video he didn't know what date was and she's going we're married now let's kiss on the cheek weird and then she says stuff like i'm gonna marry my brother yeah weird stuff yeah so um my obsession with this started with love is blind and i love it i just was me and james really got into it so then i was like when it finished i was like what now and i thought you know what is it love is blind australian no okay then i thought you know what i'm gonna give married i was really into this marriage thing i thought i'm gonna give

maths to try i loved it so i've just watched 2024's uk one and the other day because i know christina's a fan i voice noted her because i needed someone to talk to about it but it's like a year behind for her and i was like oh my god this this this this and this so then she was like you need to get on the australian one i've heard that that one is the best one i fucking love it and the reason i love it just like open house and those types of things i love watching relationships and social situations and diagnosing someone with narcissism or saying you've got a this complex and watching the way that the women and the men gaslight each other and manipulate each other it's mad so having said that we've realized that the new uk one starts i don't know is it's very

soon so we are going to make a pact ashley yeah we're going to watch it together yeah and i think let's talk on every bonus yeah we should unpick it just a little bit love 10 minutes of an unpick because oh my and if you don't watch it guys watch it with us so you can join in but i've seen on the um what's it called the thing for it trailer there's someone i know in it who well i don't know him that fucking cruise has got a lot to answer for met him on the bloody cruise all the influencers i met on that cruise and he was a gay man and he was with his partner at the time he was not with anymore and i'm flicking through and there he is so i'm really excited to watch it so watch it with us and every week let's unpick the episode that's a great idea really fun love that

for i'm into that because i want to talk to someone about it yes okay i'm still ill how long have i been ill for about two weeks is that normal i don't want to say the words i'm never ill because every time i say it i get ill but i'm never ill and i don't know why okay so leading on, not very seamlessly from that. We were saying that we haven't done many slutty sews lately. And do you know what? I don't know why. Perhaps we don't get them as much. Perhaps we just have too much other shite to talk about, but we know you guys love it. So we're going to do one for you. So when I was 18, I was getting to know a guy and he invited me over whilst he was house sitting at his grandparents. We were having a cuddle. I had the thought of a grandparent's house,

the smell of it we were having a cuddle and let me tell you there was no oh to smell no honestly just think now in your head of grand old people's house does it not make you like pom-pom just like just that's foisty smell and like the the car foisty is a word that we use where i'm from um and the carpet and um the sandwiches being like white bread really dry i've just got like a maybe it's ptsd um right we're having a cuddle and let me tell you there was no otp test required it was poking out of the top of his jeans his helmet that must have been uncomfortable one thing led to another and i'm sure you can fill in the blanks on how that weekend went we shortly got into a relationship and i was invited to a family party

where i met lots of people and for the first time including his grandparents his granddad said hello and leaned in for a hug and said in my ear next time you stay at ours can you remember to take your knickers with you please shocked and embarrassed i awkwardly smiled laughed and moved on to the next meet and greet while doing a mental stock check of all my knickers and what i could possibly have left behind seven years later i'm still with my boyfriend and nothing has ever been mentioned since i was certain i took everything with me till this day i wonder if he was joking or being serious and i'm too embarrassed to ask when i first went to james's house i left i left a pair of knickers and one sock discharge yes now luckily nice knickers i don't wear nice knickers

no i didn't know i was going to shag him to be honest well at least you wear knickers at least well then you have to yeah but if i'd not worn him then i wouldn't have left him behind and the next day he sent me a picture and he put them in his glove compartment of his van and he got them out and i was well i wasn't mortified because from day one we were like best friends but and i left one sock at what point did i get out of bed and rush home in a slaggy way to my child and put and not realize i had no knickers on in one sock what an odd thing but yeah it does happen people do leave underwear behind right should we do a dilemma as well let's do a die as soon as we're doing a little bit of our old school stuff let's do a dilemma as well

and that's dilemma of the week so since i've been watching married you might get this christina love is blind married at first sight and I've dabbled with celebs go celebs go dating my new favourite phase is

phrase phrase I've got a list there's a lot to unpack here oh my god we're gonna need to unpack this

so there is a lot to unpack so we're gonna unpack this also have you seen all that there's a lot to unpack controversy

controversy Paul Brunson oh did he have an affair or something have I made that up I think that's fake news oh sorry that's somebody else no um oh what controversy is not like psych he's not trained allegedly he's allegedly not got any actual yeah he's got a phd but it's in business however what

i will say is i do think of course people that are properly trained is good but also i just think some people are good at talking to people and analyzing and helping people realize what they're a people person a people person yeah and i do think that some people love to like try and drag people down when they're doing well i yeah so whatever he does he doesn't fuck like he's i like him yeah i like his voice i think his voice is really relaxing do you think he's good in bed the way christina just grabbed her mic because she have you have you thought about this well do you know what i have thought there's no porn anymore so i haven't thought about him that that but i i do think i wonder what he's like does he have a bit of pressure on him to be the

perfect husband with best person like the best relationship yeah i bet he does it must be quite hard like being married to him if you're just like every conversation is like right let's let's unpack this and also when he does annoying things let's unpack this also when um when he does something annoying she must feel like saying well you don't fucking tell that to your people you perhaps listen to your own advice i can't imagine them having that conversation but if people knew i think i think he is probably quite a sensual lover if i was to guess uh but i've got a question for you he's not my type one bit no so this is a question i have and i want anyone listening to to let me know if you're like this i have this i know christina is this awful habit

I know what you're going to say. Of everyone, every man I meet. Looking at man's dick. No, wondering what they're like in bed. Now, this isn't someone I fancy. Do you think it's about Ed? No, because I already know. Not because I've shagged him.

Not because I've shagged him. Just because I know the ins and outs of her. Jesus. Speaking of the devil. One sec. You're joking. Hello? Idle.

Idle. Ed, I'll speak to you later. I'm recording. Stop being old. she's showing off in front of her friends bye so the habit i have no i haven't had sex with ed what i meant was you have told you know i know the ins and outs um but what what i meant was who do you imagine to be the best in bed so it's not even necessarily anyone that i might even be remotely attracted and it's not me having sex with them that's not the thing it's not a fantasy what it

is i look at them and i just wonder what their sex style is so most of our guests i've done it with so i did it with tonic man and it wasn't that in any way it wasn't about me doing it with him it was just because i'm so fascinated i do it with my friends husbands hey do you think that men wonder that about us maybe i'm so fascinated right with the fact that behind closed doors people have a sex style an alter ego i'm fascinated by it so when i meet people yeah i just wonder what they're like just like geeky people yes i wonder how they are my friend's boyfriends and i'd say it's like a husband it's not that i am fantasizing it's just like i can't imagine you initiating in the sheets giving it i can't see you in that light and i often think

about my friends shagging and i think i wonder what you do what what what's it like so i wonder if anyone else has that but i do often wonder what people's sex is like not women it's only just to tease something on the bonus i think ashley has something funny on this that we need to talk about she does you've got a bit of gossip yeah a bit of old sex gossip yeah put that on the bloody bonus right anyway guys let's unpack this dilemma okay hi i'm wondering if i can send in a dilemma yes you have we're reading it i'm 31 and i've been with my husband about eight years and we've been married since this i'm not going to say the month just in case when we were first together i feel like it was him who was more interested in me sexually very cuddly touch

etc and we had sex quite a lot every every day or every other day recently but thinking about it maybe not so recently maybe a year or two i feel like he's lost interest a little bit and it seems to be me wanting the affection more he's still cuddly etc but it seems to be me who initiates physical contact more it's the same with sex when we have sex it is good but it's me that initiates it james i'd love that i'm quite confident in general with how i look i'd say i look better now than when we met so i don't think it's that he's always saying i'm pretty etc when i've asked him how he's feeling explained how i feel he says the main thing that's changed for him is that i've come off the pill so he's having to pull out and sex isn't the same for him because of this i have

asked if he's not attracted to me anymore and he's assured me that this is that this isn't the case and he sounds sloppy and he seems genuine about this i just feel that he isn't asked about sex anymore and doesn't have a strong sexual urge which i think strange we've been together so long and am i just comparing it to the honeymoon period let me know what you girls think and what i could do about it so i think she's answered her own question there like well he's told her it's because she doesn't want to pull out you also don't deposit deposit the goods difference to men i think yes i've i think yeah so i'm gonna because really i've never had like a complaint over that I think they all get

the same I mean they'd obviously prefer to deposit the goods than take it out but sometimes they do like to take it out to ejaculate on your face or tits by the way how messy when it gets stuck in your belly button

anyway so I think a couple of things that I don't really know the answer to here have you got an image of James's semen in my belly button I'm wearing a belly top oh I'm so crusty i never wash my belly button the water just drips through right so a couple of things here my first thought is why are you not on the pill and why are you pulling out because one thing you might

be frightened of and i've seen this actually on another is getting people pregnant and i've seen it on another um patreon dilemma where since they started trying for a baby he's gone all weird no they do do that and it's because because they the pressure and they think that the second they come there's going to be like on the sims when a baby's made and the baby arrives and i think that puts them off in the moment they get in their own head they're about to jizz and they hear and they're like what and the head goes so i'm wondering if it's a little bit of that i also think let's be honest it's not that common from girls i've spoken to for the honeymoon period to last forever like that initial bit you're ripping each other's clothes off i some relationships

still do but i do think a lot of the time one person pulls away now normally when we talk about this it's the woman that's pulled away and we make jokes all the time can't be arse shagging men are the men can be the same yeah you know i don't fancy james any less you don't fancy ed any less but when you've been together for a bit sometimes you think oh do you know what i just want to watch telly i can't be bothered and we speak about women being like that but maybe just sometimes men feel like that and there's no thing around it there's no explanation yeah but the only thing is you i would have told you to speak to him about it but you kind of already have so maybe you need another conversation whereby he said it's because he has to pull out right okay well why

what part about that is he not enjoying is it making the sex not as good try condoms try a condom unpack it with him and just find out how who the fuck i'm not like guys like it's okay but I couldn't have condoms there well well I was talking to one of my single male

friends the other day I had to like when I was in my single era yeah same but I mean now like if Ed started

wearing condoms I'd be like I just find them a bit silly yeah you feel a bit like rolling it over the condom

yeah rolling ripping it roll roll right Oh, put it on with your mouth, make it a really fun moment, make it a little bit sexy, you know. It's when the sucker, when the sucker then, with the hands on the hips, with the plastic penis.

Lubricated, hey, do you want a textured condom? Do you want a tingly, do you want a flavoured condom? Guys, we shouldn't laugh about this because it is important. if you have to do it you'll do it yeah and if i was single again now of course i would of course and it's a means to an end you have to i'm really sorry i don't think i would but it's very funny it's like do you want that or do you want a course of antibiotics i'd actually be fucking offended even if i went down on one night standing the guy put a condom I'm on, I'm on, but I'm fucking out. Well, funnily, I was speaking to my single male friend

last week about this. And we were chatting about it and he mentioned it. Do they carry condoms in their pockets? He mentioned the word condom, right? And I was like, and I literally, so childish, I went like this. He went, so yeah, so the condom, I went. And he was like, what?

And I was like, condom, eh? He said, being of a, you know, right now he's single. A single race, male. he does he does and he does put the condom on i wasn't comfortable enough to ask more details on the condom and how he puts it on but he said yeah that i use condoms and and it's just really funny but we've we've digressed so back to you i think another conversation is going to be necessary with this bloke and i think you need to find out this whole pulling out thing kind of bullshit do you think it's bullshit he's fucking someone else yes i i think so what yeah no that's

in my head you look to each other that did ring in my head it did no how do you turn from that to that girls if he used to love burying himself in your hole and now he refuses no right stop it i don't think he's having an affair and i think you've jumped to that conclusion Adulterer Adulterer Right you're being silly now I'm trying to unpack this And you've both been really silly and childish

Unpack your condoms I don't think he's having an affair How much do you think condoms are Didn't we discuss that Right you spot This poor girl has written in And we've not given a conclusive advice Condom

I can't help you Condom I don't know Condomclusion No I know Oh let me put it back round No, I'm being rash by saying he's having an affair. He could be.

It's an option. But I do think you're right. They need to unpack that. Unpack! Unpack the coming up, like, put it out there. Oh, let's call it a day. Let's call it a day. This episode's got to be called Let's Unpack the Condom.

Yes! Yes! Right, I'm really sorry that you got us on a day like this. We've not answered your dilemma. Clearly, we're not a dilemma podcast. Lads, lads, lads, let's go to the pub! We've lost them. You've lost, we've lost them.

i'm really sorry that your dilemma got answered like this i don't know the answer no and we'll see you next week he's not having an affair ask the girls in patreon they're usually good at this shit yeah i'm sorry about that anyway and i hope your sex life gets back on track we'll see you next week guys Thank you.