Nip Tuck - Magic Mike, Surgery & Smoking a Fag with your Fanny!

Episode Date: September 9, 2025

Lauren updates us on some new surgery she's thinking of getting, we give our opinion on magic mike and can Lauren smoke a fag with her fanny? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Guys, hello and welcome to Nip Tuck Not Giving Her. Oh! What? I've just remembered something. I've got to send out a present to the girl who made our Nip Tuck name. Just reminded me, we spoke about it last week, didn't we? And I said I'm going to send her something. Has she messaged you?

I've got her address and I bloody well forgot. That's just reminded me. I'll do that today. I'm going to send her a little gift, Abby, to thank her for our namesake, or whatever you call it. Do you know it was bank holiday yesterday until it was bank holiday because I did not? i had a wedding so you would have known i did not know until the monday when james was like oh i wish i wasn't going to work or something i was like well it's monday and he's like it's bank

holiday and i did not know it was a bank holiday because unless you're having fun and a young single not even a young single just a fun person then you wouldn't know it's bank holiday because you're not doing fuck all anyway anyway i'm dreading these clips you know so i've had um i look really bad today i'm really bad last week as well this week no you're on it great you send me a voice note you know that day when i was crying yeah and it's a really good voice note and i play it am i nice or horrible really nice i actually thought so i actually thought it was scripted it was that nice like it was that's it was really good and i played it to everyone and i thought oh my god she's playing lauren's voice note i bet you were thinking without warning like

thinking fucking hell what's she gonna say it was like the most perfect voice note and i thought to myself i wonder if ashley said just just let to let you know this is gonna no i didn't and i'm now thinking i've sent many voice notes over the last week or two so god knows well um i'm glad i wasn't being horrible and i don't know why i was being nice but just take it when it comes because well yeah i was upset and you were being nice oh right well if you're upset i'll be nice now and again it was about the boxes yeah which actually i didn't think that were that bad at all when i they were oh yeah no i agree what i said on that i didn't say it to make you feel better i actually meant that no one gives a shit i get it yeah i get it but i but it doesn't it i i get i rip that

off and i'm not once i wouldn't have even noticed i thought it was going to be it said something like cosmetic schmonchels or something like and i was thinking oh i thought she's going to send me a picture she's going to say cosmetic compulse or something i was thinking oh no but i get it though like if it's something you want it perfect don't you you've made it's meant to be perfect get that but this business is business and you know i haven't watched it but i will soon as i feature on it um mazara jacket's still not come yet i think they've sold it you and they've not got it why are you being such a bitch because i was nice when i said that then i just smirked i'll tell you why i'm really tired borrow it yes but okay i hope it comes right so we are going to

this probably has been and gone now but we're going on tuesday to olivia ratwood's monday monday i said to her before oh i've got a busy week next week i'm going to london she went oh are you going to london with the kids i was like you we're going to london um we're going to london so basically we need outfits what are you going to wear have you got well danny stylist who is the best stylist in the world is helping me great i haven't got a stylist so i will look like So, these are some of the outfits I like that Do you like that?

I'm more casual I'm wearing black It's a dress with what I would call a peephole I like that That's like a tweed, pink, short blazer and tiny Oh my god, is it dressy dressy up? Yeah

What? Yeah She's put together some looks Oh, bugger That's my outfit what were you gonna go well i'm what do you know what listen you i wear yeah this is the thing i am i have no problem going as long as your hair and makeup's nice and your outfit is not you've not turned up in your track it is i'm actually all right with being underdressed yeah it doesn't

bother it doesn't bother me at all i feel more me yeah if i get dressy well you're the you're gonna do like jeans and a top no no it's still you know it's a black i've just showed you a thin a short black skirt with a big thick belt on it it's from zara and like um that skirt sold out as well yeah it's really nice and a two-layer top and some heels so i'll still look dressy um but i won't be like you know stylist dressy have you looked at the girl who's doing our makeup i'll be honest briefly only briefly so we actually need to decide when we're going when we're going there like what so i was going to go and try and see a surgeon down there that i want some surgery with but he's not free i thought i could tie it in but he's not free and i even put in the email

do you want to know what i put in the email lipedema no i put in the email like i'm very important i'm going to a premiere i'm a vip yeah i put um i don't suppose he has i am in london for a premiere and she just replied and said lauren no so it's jay annie's doing our makeup she does um caroline stanbury's makeup amazing i'm excited um so yes makeup we've got that booked in outfits we're on with what time's makeup half three okay what time do you want to get there should we go for lunch first yeah why not we'll have a little day out i'm taking theater school so i'll be ready from like half eight drive to the station so whenever i'm easy i was gonna we were gonna try and tie in like i say this consultation are we getting the train

from well we did have a big chat about crew last week so i feel like now i feel like i really i feel like i should go to lauren's first time i feel like i might drive to crew um i'm not asked well shall we get it from crew we could get it from crew how far is a drive from crew to crew from my house though probably google it okay if it's the same we're staying in the mayfair right we looked at different hotels the rosewood is stunning and we looked at that we're not even going to be in the room yeah and then we looked at and then we were like should we fucking go to the corinthia but we decided that we literally will be in london we'll get there we'll get ready we'll go out we'll come home we'll pass out and get up and get off in the morning it's so you've

got good deals on it to be fair but it's 35 minutes in the car from me crew station so it's probably about 145 from mine then check since mine's in the middle of nowhere um but yeah we i've got a cold again guys still so please one hour and 12 minutes oh god you really live in i really live in the absolute dick end of nowhere um so outfit you're sorting yeah makeup what you can do with your hair um curly blow or is that too bonnie blue now too bonnie blue um i think those outfits you need it quite simple yeah tie it back yeah i will probably do the only thing i can do with mine which is a loose wave a loose way that's all that's all i've got really so yes um why don't we go to scott's for lunch and i'm not eating caviar and you can try caviar i'm not

eating caviar it looks disgusting you'll love it is it salty i like salty food we probably could get some quite funny content for patreon actually of me trying caviar couldn't yeah i'll get that button oh that means i need an outfit to travel down we could go to um like harrod champagne bar oh that would be nice and get you know the pizza restaurant so yes please is that more you more me and then we can have a little tutel and have a look at clothes yes i think that sounds nice yes and then we'll go to our room have our makeup just travel with a wheelie case yes okay okay oh shit what am i gonna wear right anyway leggings boots t-shirt okay keep it simple keep it and we don't need to wear makeup either no no because we're gonna get it done then what

time's the things it's six o'clock tell me what happens because i bet people are interested because i've not done it before either what happens at these showings so it's at the same place where the last one was right and so it's got a private cinema so you go in have some drinks a bit of a mingle and then sit down live does a little talk okay like about a series or whatever yeah and then you watch it yeah what is it bad boyfriends what the whole entire you can't watch the whole thing the first episode okay yeah that's a lot of hours and then there's a break you watch the second bit and then that's it and then it's finished yep okay i'm looking i'm actually really looking forward to i've never been to anything like that so i'm looking forward to it and then we're going

to come home first thing in the morning aren't we yeah i've had to literally you probably have as well like army organize the kids like you pick them up from there then you drop her there then five minutes past you'll pick up there it's yeah it's crazy how like one london one night i've got two grandparents and james involved for one night it's a lot isn't it um back to school so by the time this goes out guys pat yourself on their back it's over we were just saying i feel like it's gone really really quick i just do you know what the minor ready for routine yeah like have you started seeing that towards the end they get your thing is though i've got obviously tommy's a baby and then thea is a bit older so i honestly if i didn't have to send her back to school

i would keep her with me and not go to school because i hate the school run that much and i mean that much right oh my god so here's snowy look no are you ready there's me oh my god so ashley's just showing us a picture of snowy and of her i look like snow you look like a dollar isn't that the same person like twins oh my god you are twins my mum got like really emotional the other week because she was like i turned around i thought oh it's ashley as a baby in this picture she's got a hair it's like white blonde and she's got like a little thing in the middle with she's always got like a big bum nappy and she yeah i love it when she's so cute she's very very cute yeah she's very so this morning i came downstairs um she's gonna be two in december

and teddy had got an orange crayon all over the wall and i just went who's done this and he went me like what are you gonna do and i was like why i don't know and i was like wanted to so strange you've never drawn ever mine aren't like that no fear isn't she's very like tidy do that and it's because this is well this is our fault do you remember when you were younger and you had like the chalk that you draw on the floor yeah but we're teaching he'd been using that and then so he didn't know the difference so school holidays are done we've got the youngest start in school um next week so we've got london i've got a busy week we've got london have you ordered some nice hair clips off etsy yes so she's got all the colors that match her uniform so we're

going to see her in the morning that's a great hack gals to watch her go and go to school and then it's her birthday so we have got a bit we honestly we have a birthday august september october november and then christmas and we have two in september um so do you know or did you see my instagram about the american doll oh dale messaged me yeah so she wants an american doll did you message him no because i've sorted it one of james's friends is a cabin crew and she's in new york so she's gonna grab it um but how like i didn't realize she was like i want an american doll so i was like i'm googling what is an american doll horrible little thing yeah but can you buy them here no so i'm going to it if you want an american doll darling yeah we'll get

how has she found out about it youtube probably she won't be on tiktok youtube so then i go on the website and I'm like easy they're very expensive but she really wants one so I go on the website and I'm like and I'm like right let's get her one don't ship to the UK so I'm like it's fine they'll be a UK stockist could you not make loads of money doing that yeah probably so I put it on I got loads of you know what's really nice though do you know how many lovely people messaged me and said my brother's going to America I'll get you on like people were so I'm in America now i'll bring you one back no i'll put it on my instagram and i honestly sasky has got one of these no but you can get one called our generation and they're the uk version but she don't want that

she wants the american doll from america sasky has got one of these oh my god which one are you gonna get she wants one with long way i want that one oh my god that's one's like a disco diva she wants one with long wavy hair so we're getting to that she also wants 150 yeah me that doll yeah more when you get the accessories very odd looking oh look you need to get the doll carrier yeah there's loads the doll carrier could could we not find these on dhk oh yeah maybe she wouldn't know if i got her an hour generation one but if i can i'll get her the um the american doll and then she wants a labubu so i'm like messaging that um best boyfriend like hi have you got any more labubus in trying to get that like what happened to the days when they want like a barbie that you

can get from smiths so um i'm running around the country for this these presents the labubu shop has opened now in the trafford centre has it i saw people queuing yeah but then someone did a tiktok saying there was no labubus no because is it not a pop mart shop that doesn't mean that there'll be labubus they sell all sorts of weird shit pop mart is like a shop that has loads of different like cutie weird stuff in it so they might not have actual labubus anyway so we've got that going on so next week is a busy week for me i had a face peel on friday and girls if you have a peel don't pick it because you're all such a weirdo with your picking yeah i'm a very picky person i pick tommy's i sit there when he's asleep and i pick anything i can find anyway so i had um

a face peel i think it was a lactic acid charlotte did it skin address and i knew when it went on this was gonna be spicy well my eyes were watering uh-huh my feet were twitching because i've not had one for ages so yeah so you kind of start getting itchy my mouth was watering i was like anyway it fully scabbed which i knew it would and then dickhead over here sat there in the evening with the corner of my nail flick flick flick pull pull woke up the next morning i'm now scabbed i've made a right fucking mess of myself so i've got a cap on today a scabby face it's all right but i'm just hoping it's nice when it got i love appeal i love appeal every now and again i'll have a heavy one um so i've done that oh i've got more i'm having a reverse tummy tuck

definitely i'm not gonna say at all until way after i've had it done yeah because if i start saying now in the uk no no people will it's the one that me and katherine ryan will message you yes yeah um so there's this guy that i found it looks really good so reverse tummy tuck i've said for a few times i'm thinking about it but the more weight i'm losing it's almost like the scaffolding's just going on my stomach and it's just starting to like drop it really is and i don't know how much is it i'm waiting on a price so i can easily get in or not i'm waiting i've messaged my pictures um and then they said yeah you're suitable but just bear in mind it won't take away any loose skin from below the belly button but mine is yeah above um from what

i can see from this surgeon the scar because my boobs have got a little drop it should hide under the sag and they have a bit sticking out there who's had one on peak has had a reverse yes uh i need to have a nose at her um so i've i've mess he said i'm suitable so i've said can you give me a price and can you give me dates i'm thinking january when i get that back i'm going to book it in i'm going to have it done um charlotte might have something done so we're going to go over together can't be arsed i'll be honest i can't be arsed going abroad for it i really can't it's a huge ball ache i'll miss the kids i'll cry all week but i've just seen better surgery from this particular person than i've seen and you know reverse tummy tuck is not really a thing in the

uk either isn't a big thing it's quite new who are you gonna go with i'm not gonna say oh you're going no as in like you're going there with someone oh sorry no no no no i don't mean that like because i'm gonna go so so james would i've realized it would be as much use as a chocolate fire guard men as much of a great man he is he's a man they're not good at looking after you the shit so i may force my mum to come but when i last if you would charlotte though you do yeah when i last went abroad for surgery my mum categorically said never will i ever do that with you again that was traumatic and i'm never ever taking you again um so we weren't one of our friends had quite a big operation years ago and we all went to los angeles together and we just

said to her like we're still gonna go out and do our thing but we will like be there for you and so we just made sure that our room was next door to hers we were in and out in and out checking checking checking and you don't really i could go on my own to have surgery well what i'm gonna do this time so when i did it last time i stayed in a hotel that was relatively nice it was nothing but i'm gonna pay the money and stay do you remember when danny doll went with yes i can't and they had like and it was hilarious and they got a bit of a sweet and stuff i'll probably do that i'll be a bit more clever with it this time i'll make sure i'm more comfortable yeah i'll organize transfers and you know just to make it that little bit easier um but yeah if i want my

mum to come she will come but she did say she will never go with me again after what she witnessed last time if you all went as a group and had a little bits and bats done you could all just look after each other yeah and james is quite quiet in january because it's raining so a lot of building stuff off so he said that's a good time for me to do it so yeah i'm gonna book it i will obviously tell you all about it i'll do a blog on patreon i'll do videos but i'm not gonna say the surgeon until i'm done i'm healed and i'm happy i know but even then even then you could say that it's not as good as mine we've learned the hard way or i could have a something could happen and that could i wouldn't want to say that a surgeon's not good when it was just my do you know it's

really hard but obviously it wouldn't be us if i didn't talk about it so i absolutely will but not until i'm totally done and i can say i'm happy with this i wasn't happy with this i'm happy do you know what i mean so we'll talk about it but not before because how can i recommend a surgeon off some just that i like when i've not had it done i need to wait a long time but yeah i am gonna do it definitely i'm getting my teeth done shit we spoke about this at the host house and i forgot to ask you we've not spoke about it so guys i'm having emax veneers um with andy mclean yeah he's done your bonding right yes andy's been my dentist for years and years and years and he's done live's teeth as well lovely and i knew when

we saw live that time and you were looking at her teeth i thought she and she was like who did them they're nice and i was actually your teeth are lovely yes and i thought she's getting her teeth done by she's gonna do it so um so basically i need to ask you loads of questions temps explain horrible do you remember mine fell off i've no i've got three weeks of time what yeah oh no mine was i'm not gonna survive three weeks am i so what happens is first of all they take all they take all your bonding off which was rather a shock for me because when i've had things done for a long time because when when i've had things on for a long time i then look like i then um i've taught myself that that's what i've always looked like like you know you've

had your lips for ages but they've hadn't that long i'm like i've always had lips like that no so they took that off and i didn't want to look they didn't shave them they don't they literally just take off the dehydration the same as they do for um composite so it's not like they make them into little things but obviously i've had composite on mine to make them bigger and close a gap for years so anyway i wasn't going to look and you know the reflection of the bloody metal thing and i was like oh so i did see them um they were fine they were just smaller teeth than what i'm used to then they put the temps on and one of my temps fell off that's what kept having to make and i was she was very upset it was extremely distressing so i went back in i was

like you're gonna have to fit me in and then it didn't fall off again but when it fell off it was extremely um traumatizing because all of a sudden i had these big white teeth and then one normal tooth it was it was traumatic so just make sure that it puts them on hard and that if you one comes off you can get back it's opposite my house basically fine the temps i found quite sore my mouth was sore afterwards it's like having a brace you don't have your brace tightened and they just feel like achy couple of coding couple of coding and they felt very sensitive as well and i didn't dare eat anything so i was like because i was scared yeah everyone said like try um just a soupy diet it's scary like because you you can't eat but you're just frightened and when you bite

things you're like oh um and then i think i had the temps for what it might have been two weeks actually and then i was happy with them yeah and then i was like i want this a bit longer this a bit whatever and so you can change yeah it's good to do maybe that's why he leaves the temps on because you need time to get used to it the first week you're probably making your mind upon what you want to change it's a change so you feel like a bit of a dick anyway because you're like oh it's like they've said like block two full days out so block one day out to get your teeth off off and 10 minutes yeah that's right and then the fitting is a full day mine was not that long i would say three hours for fitting them maybe four but i only had top so yeah that makes sense um

yeah the fitting it was fine i went to ringway dental i went to steven dodd and he was just the team were bloody great like it was fine i put headphones it was absolutely fine wasn't particularly painful you know when you get sore lips from having your mouth open that long but it wasn't like painful take um eight hour cream and halfway through just make sure that you can reach and just pop some on while you're having it done yeah to keep your lips hydrated because that's about i'll get a cold so yeah yes take a sickle of air before because that will happen yeah um and then i had them done and i have not had a single problem since the only thing i did get was tinnitus i've got tinnitus and they all it might just be one of those things i think it

was from the drills no i think it was from the change in my bite so for about three months after i would wake up and my jaw was like because your teeth have moved like your mouth isn't used to the the way your teeth the new teeth yeah so in the night i would wake up and my jaw would hurt so much but it's completely fine now i have still got tinnitus though what shade did you go shade two i'm b1 i'm going white no b2 i went just before the white white they'll be nice they'll be lovely i think olivia is the white white i don't know i need that they don't look like i didn't want white white because i was scared i want white white but now i probably would do white white now i've got used to these but yeah i got um two as well yeah they're nice um i might

do my bottoms actually the only thing why is our accountant ringing oh i didn't do it hi babe i'm just in a recording uk all right oh my god i thought you'd found out i've spent all our money on strippers you rank me like pocket dial when your accountant rings no but it's never good when your accountant rings i was thinking what have i bought yeah um yeah so when are you having them done um 9th of september is the off and then three weeks later is the back so by the end of september i'll have my new teeth so that's around the time i'm getting my top lip dissolved so we are going to look a very funny are we gonna like have to wear one of those covid masks yeah i'm not no because one thing i have noticed since i've let my filler i have had a bit dissolved already

um and since i've let it dissolve and let them get smaller i have got an actual cat's arsehole for a mouth like i've got thin lines the dehydrated so when i get james said what's going to happen when you take your top lip off and i was like it's going to be it's going to be hilarious i was like and my teeth will look huge because i said it's so we're going to look right i was doing my um lips tomorrow so what are you having done just a little bit more yeah just so that when i get my temps in and stuff that's how it is so you can go off your teeth off the lip that they're gonna be um yeah i'm having my lips fully dissolved at the top one and redone i literally around that time so what we're gonna be crying voice noting to each other

like i look like this i like that so it's gonna be a rough time for us maybe no one watches in september callum did my i thought it was a joke i thought it was a lookalike i thought what is this is this some sort of how did that come about tell us her boyfriend lives around here doesn't he i believe so yeah so what happened she went in for a blow dry at callum's she just booked in yeah he just looked on his diary and he was like my no i think she's friends with one of his friends right and then yeah she came in for a blow what did he say said like sensationally sound yeah nice i wish she'd have been a bitch that would have made me feel like wow wow wow i've heard she's so nice she's gorgeous isn't she in her hair it's lovely that's so exciting when i saw it on

instagram i was like oh beautiful wow what other celebrity gossip is there at the minute kerry katona and katie price um i've i'm going so they're doing a tour yeah that's it's a north witch memorial what what's that like a graveyard i don't fucking know and me and me me megan and jerry are going it will be fun what but they're both so bing bong boo i can't even imagine what he's gonna be are they doing like a few of them or just one like what is there that's gonna be hilarious and then also at the weekend i booked p louise tickets for christmas for saskia saskia snowy i think it's still not there yet with like girly she's getting a little bit more girly well no have you not seen what she does at christmas no i thought it's just like a

makeup thing no she's like decorates everything like there's a santa there then they could do like uh crafts like all kinds will you send me the date you're going have you still got tickets i bet they've gone they might probably gone they were selling out very quickly i'm going my friend said that she went to book some santa thing yesterday and it's full full it's fucking august well do know what as well advent calendars oh i've just got fear the squish mellow one one of the ladies put it in the patreon mum chat and it's like mini she loves squish mellows mini squish mellow calendar from can't remember where um and i've just ordered it for it's too much having three advent calendars at my house it's too much right i agree so we've all sat down and decided you've

had a chat we're gonna do the lush advent calendar good idea because then they're excited for bath time as well very good because then they're like oh today's bath bomb that's a really good idea i think that's a good one isn't it if you want to give everyone it's just so wasteful yeah that's a really good idea the only thing is though i get various infections from a bubble bath like that no but i get confetti stuck up my fanny luscious um like natural glitter in my clit Clitter. Clitter. No, I've got fear of that one, but I agree, it is a lot.

21st of December, I'm going. Let me Google it now. God, that's very close to... Yeah, because you want to do it all close, where, like, it's like... Otherwise, if you start too early, it becomes a long marathon. Also, Lapland UK is in Manchester this year. I was hoping somebody might perhaps just offer me some gifted tickets.

Yeah, but like for the VIP tickets, it was working out at hundreds of pounds. And I was like, absolutely not. I felt like you sent that to the group and you were saying you were going to do it or something. Have I made that up? No, I'm not. I'm not.

I would like a gifted PR visit if anybody wants to give me one. I mean, if you were going to gift somewhere, it would be us because we'd give the honest review like you did with Disneyland. Yeah. That's why they won't do it. Isn't it just get like ridiculous? It's in Stockport, isn't it?

it's ridiculous it's i love christmas and i actually love doing all the christmas stuff with the kids but the guilt that you feel about not taking them to enough things like now sam breakfast with santa is a thing so you've got to do rather than you've got to go and visit a grotto then there's this what i'm dreading is the elf on that fucking shelf whoever made that is a fucking shelf should be elf in the bin it's sold out sorry i hate it i hate it they have added the 10 a.m entry that's quite a nice time to go out actually they've just added a 10 a.m i could take the girls you know where it all starts so it starts at halloween shall i take the girls okay the ticket halloween that's it i hate halloween yeah i hate it um picking or whatever

and you know what i said this last year i don't know if we've got the kids this year for halloween i've got no idea probably bloody well have but the problem i have with it is because i'm stepmom I feel like I have to go above and beyond a little bit I did it last year and they don't care really and they're not arse but I feel like I have to because I don't want to like them to think oh I wish I'd been at my mum's because she would have made more of an effort so you have to make more effort whereas Thea's actually not that bothered and then last year I made loads of stuff and they didn't really care they just wanted to go and trick-or-treat I think we make things and I'm the worst for it we make things too much because we feel guilty and then when the kids don't

absolutely love it then you're fuming at them and you get yourself into a right cycle with it but they're back in school everything's okay you've managed through the holidays guys and they've got another holiday in about what a week yeah then they're off again oh also quick update oh to you go oh yeah do you want me to talk about yeah um so ashley's very upset basically went to to waggy tails and they were really good weren't they happy with them no problems but But they assess dogs, they know what they're talking about, and they just think that the best place for him is not in a house with children.

And that's it. So it's very sad. We don't want to upset Ashley. But at the end of the day, Ashley was really upset. I actually sent you probably some nice voice notes then if you want to put them on your YouTube. But yeah, I actually offered to do all sorts. But yeah, it's just at the end of the day,

you've got to protect your children. It's got to be a right home for the dog. and a right home for your kids so so that's it he will have a lovely home where he's meant to be yeah and that's that yeah boohoo anyway let's move on so we wanted to talk top shop so many nice things in top shop i loved i've always liked the can we go back right guys do you remember top shot days right you'd go on your lunch break and you'd buy a whole new fit we used to when we worked at miami harley we'd run to the arndale we'd go to the arndale on a thursday straight after work or what we would do is pretend that we were working and going our working day yeah

but then you're always a bit on edge you're on edge but you'd cover for each other and you'd be like if such and such you know who i mean rings say i am do i've nipped out to the to sainsbury's and then you'd ring and be like get back yeah yeah um so we'd run out we would run to the arndale we'd go to top shop we would get a skort and a shirt and took the shirt you know like do remember into the squad some kind of platform a platform heel um or we would get some jewelry as well yeah a load of jewelry and then we would run back that would be our outfit for that thursday evening we would go back quickly get ready either at yours or i used to get ready at harley's apartment in in manchester and then we'd go out to a visa that night and it was bloody brilliant

and i used to be able to go out and just get an outfit you'd go into top shop and just there was an outfit there waiting for you yeah i used to like that one in um you know the concession in Selfridges right yeah so also Topshop Boutique do you remember Topshop Boutique that was the more expensive and they had those heavily embellished dresses like all saints style but a bit cheaper do you remember every Christmas I would get heavily embellished dress that was really heavy and I would get it from eBay um yeah and also do you remember when they had the stylists yes and you could book a stylist appointment in top shop yes i do remember that was brilliant literally and um because i used to shop at river island then as well my instagram was

quite big at one point but then i used to get invited in free and if you booked your thing through the stylist you got like 20 off as well i remember the stylist and the stylist would like if i wanted something she'd tell me if it'd gone in the sale or i would always get a score or a skater with a silk cami tucked in that was just my outfit that was a brilliant top shop and there was the the shoes were always good as well yeah do you think they'll bring back the so i think as as asos bought top shop am i right they've come out again on their own they've got their own website now they're still on they're still on asos but they've got their own website as well and then i heard they're doing a store in london i think well i'm all for that because i really

really like top shop i love it so this is a bit of a jump now but otherwise we'll bloody digress we wanted to talk about magic mike didn't we and yeah tell us so you were the one that sent it in yeah tell us so also um i didn't know this but in impossible this weekend there was like a magic mike dream boys thing on at impossible because one of my friends went on a hendu there oh good for a hendu i'd say just did a little burp again that burp oh my god that burp ashley did a burp in our last recording christina clipped just the burp and after a five guys and sent it into the chat and he's wet and it sounds like i kept replaying it and i was saying to james guess he was guessing

because I don't really burp and he was like burp like Homer Simpson burp burp and I kept replaying it and I was sat there on my sofa

listening to this burp again and again and James was like what are you doing I was like guess who this is burp and he's like

it's not you at the end of the burp one of us goes like oh gosh do you know what I was laughing I did it on Friday and I was like I'm moaning that I'm so busy

and you're clipping burps I still managed to clip it up but in the thing and then I listened to it about ten times i'm so busy she sits there clipping a burp and what about that picture i can't say what it was of me doing a certain movement and then you had time to make it into a gif when i'm going oh yeah yeah christina sent it in she's made it into like a gif we need to delete that um we need to delete

right so basically magic mike so in vegas and london they have permanent magic mike shoes any cat we're not talking about just magic mike and actually magic mike we would love to come along and see for ourselves however i just think we saw a different side yeah do you remember though that those men that got their dicks out i have not what and their dick and all on the granny with the granny holding the knob on a shoulder i have not liked that much no but right so that That, I would say, is the extreme version. Someone was sucking someone off. I don't know.

Anyway, one girl, like, got jizz in her hair. Yeah. Those men were, like, waving their cock. No, that went wrong. There was no, like, legislation and stuff in that. That was something that went wrong. That was one of the funniest things that came out of 2024. Yeah, it was.

That is going down. Every year I'm going to write a monumental thing. A monumental moment. The dick dance show. what's happening this year oh god i don't even know i don't know what day it is like it'll come to me on a totally totally random moment i think this has got to be the year of bonnie blue right no that wasn't no we're talking like uh last year it was definitely that pleasure boys thing was hilarious oh my the cold play thing yeah the cold play thing the affair that's been quite a big

thing this year so basically what we were saying and what our friend on instagram sophie milner said she's not my friend i don't think she knows who i am i'm hers she's had forehead reduction i know that's how it looks very good yeah i um anyway so scary for me she said like this is all very weird like as soon as we came in they called us slags yeah she said it was part of the act didn't she so we were watching her insta stories basically and she said it was part of the act and they were calling everyone slags and then someone came on and said excuse me and it's kind of part of the show but that's the first bit that you are i didn't watch and then they were like dragging women up and like grinding on them and stuff like that and she was just like this is just all a bit

weird but if you go to magic mike and you choose to go on stage that's what happens so don't go on well no they drag you up on stage well you say no thank you right so do you know thank you very much but i'll sit here on real housewives of beverly hills when they say we're going to magic mike and if you want to go on stage you wear trousers yes and if you don't want to go on stage you wear a skirt yeah because obviously is that the etiquette i don't know but surely if you don't want to go on stage you just be like no thank you i'll sit here well then they'll drag you up even harder but that's like um with strippers when people and our friend that was gonna have the person chained to her like it's all very weird but if you've gone to that you've gone for that no

like you've gone to magic mike what did you think was gonna happen it's not afternoon tea well you got a bit much at pleasure boys well yeah i think that was a mistake though wasn't it that kind of went a bit wrong whatever happened with that i'm gonna google it so yeah she was just saying that she felt a bit weird she said it just felt a bit still against women even though we were there looking at men and i didn't watch the full stories that she said i watched a little bit of it and i i don't know is it not just the same as going to a strip club i think that so what I found the difference was, when you go to Magic Mike, even though you're there to watch men parade around

with their package swinging, it still ends up women being pulled on stage and women being, what's the word? Mauled? Embarrassed? I don't know what the word is. However, when men go to strip clubs, that's not what it's about.

It's about men feeling big dog. The women are there to give them a dance when they choose they want one. They're the big dog. yeah whereas you go to magic mike and it's still almost humiliating women even though you're there to watch the men that men don't go to strip clubs and the women pull them up and go let me embarrass you in front of everybody do you get what i mean so i kind of understood that point of it maybe we need to go i don't think it's my cup of tea i'm not into a male body like that but then did you

see there was a man and a woman oh that was oh they were gyro that was so sexy yeah i don't really get it but maybe we should go and i'd rather go to one at a local con club with some local men i think that'd be much funnier with their dicks out yeah that's funny like watching sexy people dance on each other you know what i want to go to and don't quote me on this like this is what it's called the bangkok ladyboys show i've been right go on then so when i was 15 i went with my mum and dad we went to thailand and it was our first time there it wasn't all the world it wasn't Bangkok I don't think it was I don't I can't remember I don't think it was the official one but I don't know and it was in Phuket and we watched this like you say that's the name of it

the ladyboy show and I just I don't remember much of it I remember finding it a little bit like back then we're talking more like a cabaret yeah we're talking 20 years ago so it wasn't as like they're all stunning yes they were stunning and I remember my dad having an absolute conflict The Ladyboys of Bangkok, that's what it's called. I remember my dad being like, huh? Like so confused with his feelings. And they were absolutely gorgeous.

And then at the end, you could have pictures and stuff like that. I remember it being quite good. It was more just like a cabaret act from what I remember. Haven't you been to see Sticky Vicky before? No, I would. Oh, I thought you had.

I absolutely, is she still going? No, she's dead. She's what? She died, yeah. Her daughter's taken over. Yeah. Serious? Yeah, we spoke about it on the phone.

God, I've got a bad memory. oh rest in peace sticky vicky so did you think her that kind of thing like do you think she smokes a fag with a fanny it's impressive that's impressive that is impressive so do you think she taught her daughter how to do it i think i could smoke a fag with my fanny no i think i could i think i could on monday night in london with my fanny out smoking i bet you i could smoke one with my fanny bet you i could i'm like really quite confident about this maybe when we're in london should i

try my bumhole and you try your bumhole and i'll try my vagina um where were we going with this i'm a bit and i'm also a bit hot now anyway let's head over to the pianist yeah we were we were meant to talk about um we were meant to be doing a bargain bucket unless we do that on the bonus yeah we were meant to be doing we were meant to be doing a bargain bucket about hibernation what kind of treatments to have in the winter and we've talked about smoking fags out of our fanny and ass so over on the bonus sorry about that uh bonus episode you can get it on apple subs if you subscribe or if you're a member of patreon we are going to talk about actual important like skin things not smoking out of fannies i'm gonna burp though sorry i never burp

love you bye