Nip Tuck - Narcissist or Kn*b?

Episode Date: March 29, 2022

We're going a bit more serious than usual today, but of course, there's the usual hilarity and dilemma of the week too...In this episode we're talking all things narcissists - but we're not throwing the word about, this episode goes into what a narcissist *actually* is. Lauren has had first-hand experience with being in a relationship with a narc and we want to make sure that you can spot the red flags so you don't end up in the same situation!It's important to know the difference between a narcissist and a fuck boy, and if you find yourself with a narc then this episode will tell you how to get out of it and rebuild yourself back to the bad bitch you should always be.Don't forget to use the code NIPTUCK at macom-medical.com for 15% off your order on everything! Find us on social: @thecosmeticconsult, @laurenelizabeth_xx, @ntngaf, @macom_medical Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

hi guys guess who's back welcome to another week of nip tuck and not giving a fuck so here we are today we are talking about quite a serious topic it's really serious and if you mock me about it again i'm not doing it okay so we're talking about narcissists today and now lauren will struggle with i will struggle for two reasons number one as you know because it's blasts through your fucking ear holes her speech my speech impediment i've got a lisp right serious i considered once getting that fixed and then i thought no it's me i don't notice it because you know me and i like you and you like me if you didn't like me my voice would go through like listen whoever's listening to this now because there will be people listening you don't like me i hope that

i hope that my voice will get grates on you you twat yeah people will listen that don't like us whatever anyway so that's one thing the other reason is i've had a lip flip botox on my lip everything i do goes wrong i swear so i thought oh fuck it i was like put put some botox in it i now cannot use my top lip when i drink coffee it falls out of my mouth i try and drink through a straw and i can't and now when i'm speaking my top lip is flapping however look when i'm not moving it is nice like it's it's done that more but yeah so i'm gonna struggle saying the word but just like i'm only jealous because i can't get this shit done at the minute well yeah you can't have anything and i've been having loads i've been a bitch thank you to macom they're

the sponsors of this episode okay so one area of facial cosmetics that i think a lot of people neglect and forget about is the fact that you actually do need medical grade compression afterwards so that could be face type procedure a facelift procedure liposuction to the chin exactly if you're considering having surgery on your neck the underside of your chin and jowls or you're contemplating a facelift you must have your compression garment ready to go like straight away in theater they need to be putting that on you so it's kind of like a chin strap thing yeah do you know people often don't want to wear these and i understand why but you have to wear them even more so on your face you know than your body because the skin is a little

bit thinner and it's on your face guys like people normally want lipo or whatever it is and they want tightening too if you don't wear your compression you are absolutely not going to get the best results don't worry though macom have got you covered always they have a facial support piece that is perfect for making sure that all that money you've spent the time that you're having off work etc on the surgery is absolutely worth it and you've done your best as a patient to make sure that you're going to recover really well to be honest they're not a bad idea at all even if you're not having surgery you're prone to waking up with that puffy puffy water retention especially when you're hungover yes when you've had a drink or do you want this on yeah bed when you've been

on a night out even though you might have your full outfit on put the face compression on too exactly so whatever else you sleep in forget it and just sleep in this yeah you'll be getting amazing lymphatic drainage especially if you're not getting regular facials or doing facial massages if you don't have time this is a really good and you know what you might be laughing but it actually works it actually helps the puffiness and the water retention on your face so if you want to fight your facial puff or if you're contemplating a procedure then head over to macom-medical.com that's m-a-c-o-m and use our code nip tuck for 15% off your order okay so before we get into this series topic what have you been up to any life updates how

is the celebrity dating app going it's shit my i've not been using it because friends said this i've not been using it and they said that girls come up on there yeah girls come up on there sometimes which and they said everyone's from amsterdam everyone's from amsterdam are they all stoned and on the app i don't get it um no and you know what i'm not actually looking at the minute again so have you not been on there much then i haven't you know um it was a bit dry and also i i mean i've been chatting to maybe there's somebody that i don't need i mean i just don't need to be on that oh right okay so we've filled the vacancy yeah yeah for now yeah yeah okay okay um i have piled weight on this you have we've just been laughing at her she looks like a square

it's disgusting my back is what was it she's got catered she's truncated so basically the funny thing is you can say this to ashley because normally she's so skinny and gorgeous that like and i know she will be so i've got no issue being like laughing at her i have no issue with anyone you're pregnant like so basically i remember when i was pregnant as well you lay down loads of fat on your back and it's so that your body can support the growing bump i heard it was milk it's not milk for me so ashley has got milk in her back well there's something and she looks like um a trunk she looks like from the back she looks like shannon bedore yeah um i don't know if anyone watches real housewives of beverly hills so she she's really funny and i'm really loving it every

minute okay but you know i'm rolling with it but it's probably my daily consumption of um mini eggs i went to hospital at the weekend because i had a bladder infection ew and not even from having sex how annoying um when did you last have sex months ago oh oh honey that's not he's not into it he's not into pregnant sex some men love it why um i wasn't that into it but at the end do you know what i did have i told you what dildo yeah yeah i tried to um me after you did yeah so when i was really really heavily pregnant i got my husband to use a large sex object and try to smear give myself a smear i was overdue it's not called a smear is it not a smear sorry a sweep so i put it up far enough to try and touch my cervix and sweep it anyway oh my god so you're not having

sex so anyway so i had to do like um a urine sample and the woman was like there is a high amount of glucose in here so i was like what and she was like have you been eating something i was like thinking ahead of all this shit i was like i'm back it's a video so do you know what it's my own fucking fault i'm truncated i didn't think you were going to truncate this time you were so good at the beginning yeah but that's good though because now we've only got 10 weeks left so 10 weeks i mean how much weight can you put on in 10 weeks i'm excited are your arms fat because my arms just balloon my arms everything's fat yeah and it's got cellulite on everything but yeah no that's pregnant whatever right ashley what is

getting on your big milky tics this week so people are just dicks at the minute like not everyone but that's such a pregnant thing to say dicks around so i anyone that's been following me for a while or who listens to us knows that i said i'm sick of people dming me like oh okay yeah where can i get this done who can i get it done by who's the best at this who's the best at that and i've said numerous times on numerous occasions please don't ask me like i'll tell you how to do your own research but i can't be responsible for this because it gives me the fear being that responsible for someone's decision but you have to think from their point of view your platform has changed a little now i agree but it was very much about surgery and and your so they might think they

might not have realized no no and then i agree but it was just like i was getting numerous messages that were like why are you not responding i need to know yes and then i got this one message off this person like asking for all this detail and they weren't even following me and i was like yeah no that's annoying that's rude so i reposted it because i was in a hormonal rage i probably shouldn't have done that but i do loads of stuff we all and also can i just say i changed my mind on this every day so i may respond to some people yeah you can do what you want and you know what if they are someone that's followed me for ages and like interact with you yes yeah it's different i fully agree this person sends me this rambling message and it was funny wasn't it you are so

rude and it was like really sarcastic it was really nasty it was nasty and i just was like and she was like i'm going to unfollow you so i was like oh please honey bye felicia yeah like it's in fact don't even bother because i'll just block you but i did yeah i am a blocker i block effort if if one person does something to piss me off i block them do you do the same no i don't block anyone so this is like weird perverts and dick pics when i've looked at them so this is where we're gonna roll into our topic okay narcissists and how to block them out of your life yeah as you know we have slightly different views but you're it's going to change when you hear what i have to say about this tell us about why you wanted to talk about yeah i wanted to

talk about narcissists for a few different reasons um it's quite a oh can i just say something really quick by the way when we did in october what gave us the ick we set that off everywhere then began talking about the ick i'm taking that i'm taking it because everywhere was starting like what gives me the ick and then people yeah i'm over that now anyway right wait can we just guys can we read out the definition of what a narcissist is right go on lauren okay so i'm going to tell you like the dictionary definition of dictionary definition of a narcissist so it's a noun it's a person who has an excessive interest or admiration of themselves so narcissists think the world revolves around them now that's the definition there but when you put it into play of life and these people

it's frightening now the reason i wanted to talk about it is because i was massively affected by this by one or numerous and looking back probably numerous but one that tipped me over the edge and i'm gonna go on about this for a while so if you're not interested you need to turn the fuck off because i'm being really serious now and if you're not serious austria then you're gonna leave the room okay okay so i've actually written so this morning i woke up at six o'clock knowing that i was going to be talking about this and i spent ages like writing notes about what i wanted to say and my experiences and it actually honestly this morning i felt really weird and just good triggered just talking about it and thinking about it again so i made some notes and i

kind of want to talk through what a narcissist is what traits my main thing is narcissism in a relationship so i had a relationship with a narcissistic person just over a year ago and when we broke up it was the hardest breakup i've probably ever had despite um the fact i've broken up with my baby's dad you know it was an awful one and it affected me in a way that i can't even describe i was like a stone lighter than i am now i was so thin i was so down my confidence was shot i was like a different person i went on holiday do you remember when i went to dubai the escort time and i told you i spent the whole time crying which i did and that's because i was a different person and one of the girls that met me there had never met me before and then she met

me again six months later and she's like i wouldn't even have known it was you because you were just a different person and this is how badly it can affect people right so when you're with a narcissist it is like being emotionally abused it's not like being with a normal person it's not like a normal breakup they mentally abuse you so it's an actual there's a difference here so yes there's narcissists but there's also just fucking twats and i think this is where you come in and you were like don't know how i feel about narcissists i feel like everyone's making a bit too much yeah i think it's a hot word that people like to throw in around yeah yeah and that's the thing and also i think if you're in a toxic situation just get out yeah so this is the difference a twat is a

twat it's a twatty person and a fuck boy a narcissist it's an actual personality disorder so like you're on a roller coaster with them it's it's they have a disorder you in yes it's a disorder a therapist would diagnose them with this it's not a dickhead i mean because when you read out that like they think the world revolves around people that's me yeah yeah absolutely it's me too but this is something different and it is somebody so right so this people this person you were in the relationship with right so were you enjoying the relationship at any point yes so this is why narcissists are really really clever if somebody was a negative person all the time then you wouldn't stay with them they have amazing parts and they draw you to those parts to the point

where you will then put up with a negative but again you could say that about loads of right so tell us so i'm gonna tell you let me fucking tell you yeah okay so i'll tell you what happened with me i was up shit creek i was disgusting and devastating i had no confidence one of my insta friends so you know you were saying people that you interact with i've never even met her i love these friends but she's like an insta friend we've interacted over the years and i just know that she gets me and she messaged me one night it was like you're not with xyz anymore i can tell most people i've been like you cheeky fucker fuck off this one i was like no i'm not and i told her how i felt and she said i think you're dealing with a narcissist and was that the first time

yes and she said they're different and i was like what do you mean the difference she said go on youtube and watch this do this do that and she made me i'm going to link all this stuff read about it and she said it's a disorder what you're dealing with here isn't normal and you will not get over this in a normal way because you have been abused mentally how long were you with the person six months it's not very long no it's so quick how it can happen it went from and how long did it take to get over it six months at least and even now right so there's a certain brand of sportswear that i can't wear anymore right because this person once said it wasn't cool this is how it sounds ridiculous serious but i can't buy anything i can't because he once said

it's not cool and that still isn't that bad because at that time i was that bothered to impress him and to get his love back tell us what narcissists do okay so these are the differences between a and a twat usually deep down they're really weak they're actually very self-conscious and weak inside and their way of kind of hiding that is to be over the top false image of themselves they hold themselves to a very high regard very cocky they talk to about themselves as if they're amazing they will often say to people you're so lucky you've got me but not in a jokey way like dead serious they can't deal with any criticism whatsoever so if anyone starts to criticize they will completely lose the shit on it they always want to feel superior amazing the best

they can't deal with anybody that might make them feel unworthy so the person that i was with knew i was too good for him so that gave him deep down he knew that i know like when you told me yeah and that gave him the fear deep down and his way i'm not saying they consciously do this but his way then to make himself feel better was to pull me down so far that i didn't think i had any worth either and he was the superior okay so how did they pull you down i'm gonna get onto it they have no empathy they can't think i'll put themselves into anyone else's shoes they use people they see a target and they use them and they use people and feed off their love for them to get their fix okay and when they've run out of that person and they're no good to them anymore

or they've taken everything they fucking can they ditch them and they're on to the next that is they can suck the life out of so like they're like you know those guys that always are with a girlfriend and it's really like love bomb me from exactly okay so i'm gonna tell you now lads on instagram that have got a different bird yes my world my world yes every week yes do you remember when i got with that person how quick it happened everywhere yes let me guess he got your name tattooed on him he actually he actually didn't but normally they do um so that's one of the things this is how it goes it's it's that kind of thing okay so they also go hot and cold um so because they go hot and cold on you it leads you to believe that you're doing something wrong

it's ways of over time anxiety that it made me ill honestly over time they slowly begin to manipulate you so that they are the fucking dog's bollocks and they take your negative image of yourself and they grow so this is how a relationship would start with a narcissist and this is how it would go it starts out amazing they're very intense they build really really quickly often women that get into a relationship with a narcissist are weak at that point so i was really weak when i just after a breakup or something yes so when you're at your lowest they pray and i mean it they pray and i say this is not just my experience i have witnessed it and it is text book they prey on weak women women that have just had children women that and they

don't know they're doing it but they're doing it women that are weak and they can mold them okay so it starts out really exciting they tick every box because they've already worked out what you need and they provide that so if i said to my mom my ex never went walking they love walking they tick every fucking box so you think you've met the one they feed from your like negativity they promise they're going to be there for you and you become reliant on them fast so they're always ringing you up they're always checking on you so if that stops no but they're all because you're weak you think they are looking after you and you rely on them and they give you the love it's love bombing at the beginning yeah and then once they've got you that's when they'll start to try

and kind of bring you down a little bit so it's little comments i don't know if you've ever had this with an ex little negative comments about yourself yeah like criticizing little ones that will slowly make you feel shit about yourself so mine used to mention his ex a lot and that she had this or she had that and funnily enough the two things that she had i didn't so it was like a curvy ass and i did in they are tiny little things it's little things like never complimenting you ever yeah never saying you look good i remember one situation where i said oh my god that guy he's just messaged me fucking hell and he went yeah he messages everyone now at the time at the time i didn't get it but what it was is it was making me lose my you're not special mate

right and slowly slowly you will lose yourself you don't see them as others do and you have rose-tinted glasses on again like my ex one of the things they do is knock your confidence so much so when i went to dubai on holiday i rang my mum crying because all i could do when i was sat around the pool I kept looking at all the other girls and wishing I looked like them all like every girl that walked past I would look and be like she she's pretty I wish I'd her hair I wish I'd her bum and I rang my mum and I've never been like that sobbing saying there's too many pretty girls I'm disgusting um they're all so much better than me and I can't even lie out that I had to come in I couldn't lie in sunbathe because I spent the entire time looking at girls and how I could

make myself look more like other people because that's how much my own self-confidence had gone down i was never in a situation around us together yeah but say i was and like i i've said this before to you and you've said it to me as well i'd be like oh i don't like that guy yeah would you have defended him yeah and i wouldn't have seen it and would you have then cut me off because you yes yeah i've done that with family because i knew and i didn't want to hear it and and this pulled them up on the lies as well yes and you yeah little things little lies little and my confidence would get less i thought narcissists tell big lies no that it's not about lying narcissism is sucking somebody dry and manipulating them to make yourself feel good and using them

and in in the meantime it destroys the other person and i really really mean fucking destroys people you have to go to therapy which i'll talk to you about in a minute because you get ptsd from this shit like it's so serious what what a narcissist can actually do to you so then the relationship starts to go sour and you start to they leave you what narcissists normally do is leave you high and dry so they don't there isn't a slow breakup one day they and this is what happened to me they will text you and say i'm done and the day before you could have been like but do you think that's because they've spotted that their time is running yes the time is they've used you you're a shell you're a fucking shell you they've got everything they can from you

and you might start you're starting to realize yeah you're starting to realize and your family's starting to realize and there comes to a point when you're tired of their shit and they think oh yes i need a new vessel and they hold themselves that highly that they can't be broken up exactly and then in that spot on do you know what when one of them did that to me i was like okay there's the door goodbye yeah and they were like what yes because it's control yeah so what they tend to do is all of a sudden the mind has changed and you are discarded honestly i was discarded like a piece of shit the day before we were moving fear into a certain but into a bedroom the next day because he certain things and i picked up but he knew i was starting to

see him what for what he was and he couldn't deal with it so i was gone quick and it was literally you dropped me and were you upset i was heartbroken so this is the other thing he's just abused you for that long because you don't know that they've done it you don't and i didn't until this girl said to me you've been mentally abused because basically sometimes when you've had a relationship with a narcissist you can't get over it and you're like why can't i get over this one this isn't as bad as the other one this isn't as bad as the one when it was my baby dad i don't even love them yeah but i can't i am a mess i was a fucking mess my confidence was so so low and you know what he did afterwards what this is clear this is a narcissist thing he made sure that it

got back to me told a friend of mine don't tell lauren but the reason we split up is because i didn't fancy her that's like and if you saw this yeah so that at that time though i didn't know he was a narcissist so i really then felt like i'm not fit enough i can't can you imagine girls somebody saying to you you're not fit enough i don't fancy you sexually can we just say as well doesn't this person still try and ring you well that's another story but so you need to know that they they fuck you up right so okay so by the time you start to break up with them you've already been mentally abused you don't have any strength anymore you might have ptsd you might have low self-esteem they have already broken you so you then become obsessed with them you're overwhelmed

you can be terrified you don't know where to begin the desperation makes you cling on to them even more because you can't imagine you think you need them to survive okay they break it off fast so you're kind of stuck and it's like how do you deal with that then so i'm going to tell you how to deal with if you've been with a narcissist we're going to read a story a couple of stories i think of people that have been with narcissists that have messaged us and dilemmas i'm going to tell you about that and that'll help so the first thing you need to do if you're in this situation where you think you might be with a narcissist and your self-confidence has gone and they've done all these little tricks you need to learn what a narcissist is so this will help you today there's

books there's youtubes there's podcasts you need to look at the links i send that i put up and you need to then forget them as a person they're not xyz they are a narcissist and they have a problem don't take it personally they're fucked not you and stop being the victim you're not a victim in this you have been abused by somebody it sounds dramatic but until you've been through it and you meet people that have been through it you won't realize you've been abused by somebody you're not a victim you were just the unlucky one that they came across and you've been you've been involved in that now you can't move on from a narcissist unless you completely block them out because they do something called love bombing so love bombing like we said before is where all of a sudden

they'll be amazing grand displays and they will absolutely google it love bomb you to death and that's not because they want to be back with you that is because they need to use you they need you back to get the control they don't want to be back with you so if they start that it's not true there's something called a trauma bond have you ever heard of that no it's called a trauma bond and it's actually also known as stockholm syndrome i've heard that phrase but i don't know so what that is is it's when a captor so say somebody like takes a child and they fall in love with the captor like when like you hear about kids being snatched off the street and they fall in fritzl's basement it's exactly that there's one happening in stockholm it's called stockholm

syndrome it's the same as that you become addicted to the trauma and the pain because you think it's normal but they've inflicted that pain on you yeah but you're addicted to it i can't explain it unless you kind of know and the people that do know on that oh my god yeah you need to um go to therapy potentially if it's that bad i went to therapy i actually had to go to therapy never in my life i've had and what did you talk about there i started explaining how i felt and what he'd done and she was like yes and the reason he did this is this and it all it kind of took the personalization away and i realized this is just a pattern he's got something wrong now yeah he'll have many and when he's done with them he will throw them and he will move on to the next one so you can't

sympathize these people it's normally something that happened in the childhood and they'll be like oh when i was a kid my mom didn't love me tough i don't care oh my god you can't excuse that this is like clicking with me like my mom abused me as a child and it's probably yeah and even if she did that's no excuse for it do you reckon they'd shit on their own family so this is a good way of telling one how they are with their family and how they are with other people if you see them use people quite frequently you think wow you really use them then that's a really good one if they're not close to the mom fucking huge one they will have a pattern during the breakup don't let that mistake you for them wanting you back they want the control yeah they

want to win again they want to get you back so prepare for that stalking loved one bombing everything therapy honestly will really really help and you need to think once you know what a narcissist is you will look back at the whole relationship like i do now and be like like the like the sports brand when he was like once i caught some trainers on you that those trainers did not go with that outfit and i cried and i never wore them again it's breaking you down so you feel like you are a nobody so do these people exist in all situations like there's male female yeah like i've obviously only ever dealt with a male one um and it literally you have to fully rebuild yourself from the beginning i've dealt with female ones what i would say before we say

about that one last thing i want to say about relationship ones that's really really important is it's not like a normal breakup so if your friend's going through something and she's not getting over this guy and you're like what you weren't even with him for that long you didn't even like him you got over your husband like what this is really weird it's potentially because there has been some form of mental mental abuse and that has to be you need to give your friend you need to you need to time and invest seriously yeah it's a big thing and i think people will be it sounds so boring and it's the most boring podcast we've ever done but i feel like that many people are affected by it i think it's gonna help okay well we dealt with one at work we did

that narcissists are everywhere and do you know the one that we dealt with at work yeah he's still out there being a narcissist do you know the one so we had a boss didn't we ash your turn i've talked enough tell us about the boss tell us the shit he used to do right when we were working at said place every female like i feel like we could have a hashtag me too movement here we could if and girls we could follow our fellow girls there's probably about 100 of us yeah yeah who worked then in different clinics or across the country they know who we mean you know who we mean every single one of them will have had a situation where we used to get anxiety walking to work our phones would have to be like under our pillow for in case we got like a phone call

do you remember that day we came in and he'd already unlocked the office and was sat in the yeah we walked in he was already sat there with his legs files at us yeah so we used to open the drawers and pick files out and throw them around the room and like don't bear this in mind this is a young guy with young women like speaking to us like shit the age group

was I would say 20 to 28 and we were young women he was what late 30s at the time it was a long time ago maybe early 30s

and it was fucking awful once we went to a boardroom meeting and he got £4,000 cash and he had a stick and he

because boob jobs were about £4,000 and he had a stick and there was all the us women sat around this table and he got a stick

and he pushed the £4,000 around the table once he stood there with a with a golf club swinging and practicing

he swinged in the middle of it right yeah he had a lot of other problems definitely he would push around

the foreground and throw it at us and say that's how much yeah that's how much every person costs me and then he would say

what did your parents do because he wanted you to go around the room and make again narcissist make you feel very small and he also worked out

who he was going to respect by what your mum or dad did and and and how we looked oh my god how you looked we were like if he was in and we didn't know he was going to be in we'd have like a pair of really high shoes underneath the desk that we'd literally put on we'd cake ourselves in makeup and everything he used to make people cry as well i can't tell you how well i was a bit of a golden girl i didn't get we didn't i didn't get much shit off him however one of the girls who's one of my friends he fucking hated that girl yeah he wouldn't even look them in the eye no and he would he would make her cry i had voice recordings i don't know where they've gone actually of him saying are you listening to me down the phone he was so anyway how to deal with that you feel us

feel like when we were working there that if we left and do you remember i was the first person to leave yeah and he was like she'll do nothing she'll go nowhere he used to make you think that If it wasn't for this job, you'd be nothing. And this is how nice in relationships... And then they make you redundant. Yeah, and this is what they do in relationships. They make you think that without them, you are nothing. You are then therefore addicted.

You lose your own self-esteem. So, I mean, I... Can I just tell you something? What? He has messaged me on Instagram since asking to take me out for a drink. Can I just tell you something? What? He's on that app that you're on.

I know. Anyway, do you know what I wanted to reply to him? you bullied me for fucking years you bullied my friends but you know what i thought never ever let him never let him know but also never uh burn your bridges i might you know what i might do if he sides in my deums i mean i'll be a dominatrix and i'll whip the shit out of him whip his ass yep there we go um so friendship wise i think for me like lauren i've got a different take on this because i don't know i feel like you know but you have right you can't say that unless it's happened to you it's no it's not so you can't i've been with really toxic people who have traits of a

narcissist yes but i do not a full blown who they grind you down every day i swear i'm not am i a soft i'm soft as in like i love people you are you're a lot nicer than i am but i have been through pure hell in my life so i'm a strong fucker and this guy probably got me lower than any of that my take on it is like i've seen girls do it and when girls do it that's really horrible like and that i did used to let that happen to me when i was younger you know when like your friends would come in and be like don't wear that type of little shit on you but then 10 minutes later they'd be wearing the top and you'd be like what again it's like putting you themselves down to feed off that energy because deep down they are fucked right but my take on it is if anyone

fucks with you you tell them to fuck off yeah and also like i get what you're saying with the whole you need therapy you need to recover afterwards but on the same in the same breath you need to take some of what they have taught you away with you oh okay yeah and kind of be like zero fucks given i am moving on and you can fuck yourself so girls like even though like what lauren said it is a really serious thing and you need to deal with it in this certain way i can give from my perspective instead of dwelling on it and watching videos on it and yes right it's like reading that book the secret i felt like i read three pages of it i understood the concept and i was done i didn't need to read the book from front to back it just depends where you're at how badly affected

you are where your head's at with it and what i would say is once you've got through that i have done what you said so now look at me now compared to that fucking you're gonna deal with it at one point in your life it's gonna happen and after working it out and the bit i've told you about is at the beginning when you don't know why you feel like this when you've got through that little bit and you know what you've dealt with that's when you take like you've just said and you then don't ever ever fucking let that happen i will never let that happen to me again because the soon as i see those signs as soon as someone fucks with me yeah you're out because you i don't need that and i'm a million times stronger but unfortunately they are out there and they are

amongst our friends and they are amongst our work colleagues and you know you've got to do what you got to do at that point in our lives we needed that job and it was a very different environment now you wouldn't get away with that shit no no but um i do have a lot of friends that i can see in these toxic working and friendship relationships and i'm really sorry but i'm not tolerable to listening to it for a very long period of time because i just say to them if you don't get off your ass and change things things are not going to change themselves and i honestly think like look at certain women that you really respect and i know this sounds really sad it's like what would jesus do but yeah yeah yeah what would christine quinn do yes what would erica jane do yeah what

would ashley do yeah i know it's true you have to have that element you need to think fuck you yeah fuck you and the revenge body the revenge everything you absolutely have to do that when you are strong enough you will just bounce fucking back yeah and then you become the best version of yourself ever every time you have a knock instead of sitting there and be like i've had a knock and it's really bothering me that knock then rebuild you it's like you know when you go to the gym and you do the reason you get muscles is every time you do a squat or whatever the muscle hurts the muscle actually rips and the repairing of that muscle makes it bigger that's how you get a booty nice analogy yeah and it's the same with everything else it fucking hurts and you come back

10 times better so embrace the pain yeah it's a part of your life and then move on and learn if you don't learn then i have no sympathy anymore like no one can fuck with me anymore so just to explain to you how many people have messaged us hundreds with stories of narcissists we love them by the way we read them and we can't always reply but we do read them so here we go my ex was the biggest narcissist he would ask me to wear makeup or a bra to have sex okay i'd be like suck your own no but you just you don't know would make me cry by saying the most awful things he was laughing at my insecurities and then he kept

saying it wasn't his job to make him feel any better anyway we were due to get married and I left him go girl this is why I'm

reading it babe it's a bit of both because lord knows no one needs that in their life permanently he was maybe five foot seven

and super insecure about his height so I found myself a six foot five guy and broke his fucking heart to pieces revenge doesn't wear makeup or a bra

either babe yes queen I have super perky boobs without a bra and his knob was fucking small I love it dilemma of the week i'm getting good at this dilemma of the week i knew everyone would enjoy

that jingle eventually okay so i've got a dilemma here off one of our followers my husband's been kicked out back to his mum's following a night out on saturday that ended up in a strip club not only that but he paid 300 pounds that we don't have for a lap dance i would have done it for 50 girl i've never been so mad there was three of them in there it makes me absolutely sick he's apologized and claims he didn't enjoy it one bit but what's worse is that all of the people around me including his family think i'm overreacting my question is what would you two do okay i'm gonna start so um you're all right with strip clubs though mate i am i'm fine with them but the 300 pound that you don't have is the bit that really stings me it does but i have gone out

and spent too much that i didn't really have on alcohol in the grand scheme of things like 300 pounds it's a mortgage payment for somebody yeah it's a lot of money and imagine if this lady has got like bills to pay she's budgeted like that 300 pounds will be in your budget every month i want to know as well we don't know how she found all of this out is it that he's come home and gone darling i'm fucked up yeah and in that case in that case he's a big like he's a big fucking stupid idiot exactly and then you'd be like a big filthy idiot and you just like you dick exactly but or is it she's then i hate this has she gone in his jeans and found the fucking always when like you pick up like their old sesh clothes and you find things in the park i found a

from a withdrawal from the cash machine at um one of the strip clubs and i was like what did you do last night because the best thing is never never tell them that you know yeah obviously strip clubs by the way have always got um like italian restaurant names on the banking so when you google you go in their pocket you're like 500 quid of doncevitos google it right okay and it will they try and cover up on google what it is but you will get to the bottom of what it is and i think it clicked once when i actually went to strip club and i was on my online banking and i was like i don't remember that pastor yeah exactly and then i was like oh okay so anyway back to this dilemma honey deal with it in whichever way you see fit as in well she doesn't know that's why

you pay the time it depends if this 300 quid is really you know it's gone missing and you're going to be working for another six weeks to get that 300 quid back both of you i honestly would turn around to him and be like listen we'll forget it we'll draw a line don't do it again and get the 300 quid back and i promise you he'll be back within 48 hours with the 300 quid i think there's two separate issues here to be honest i think there's the 300 quid and there's the strip club no i know but you're not bothered about a strip club i personally wouldn't be bothered if i was there but do i want my boyfriend paying a girl to grind on him also it's not that expensive for a dance it's like 50 60 quid yes how many did he have or what else did he have 300 quid sorry um

so i'm just interested in that so i think it's two separate things the strip club thing you need to sit down with him and speak about that as to whether that's a boundary that you're not welcome for him to cross i know you don't care about strip clubs but i feel like i wouldn't like that and then you've got the 300 quid no which is a separate issue and i suppose as well do you know what i wouldn't like it like if i just had a baby and i felt really shit and he hadn't been looking after me and then he goes and pays a girl yeah that would really piss me off and he's looking at her body like come on yeah he's got his hands in on his in the air and no i don't like it if i was there and we were having the crack and i do get i kind of get it a bit if there's a big stag

do big bunch of lads and they all go and they go to strip i get it saturday night it sounds well it was yeah that's what she said it sounds seedy to me so i think she needs to discuss that's part of it the money is a separate issue that's you're a fucking dick to make that money back now he needs to go and do a few shifts he needs to go and do some dances himself go and give someone a dance that gaff where the men do it um magic magic might yeah go and do that Like, please, when we do our brunch, can we invite those men? No, no. I hate male strippers.

I hate them. They make me feel sick. They make me ill. The big, huge dicks with no pubic hair. But do you know what they do to their dicks? I hate them. I hate their arses. I hate them.

Lauren, do you know what they do to their dicks? They put a ring on their dick. Oh, like to push them like a cock ring? They do weird things to their willies to make them look big. big so which i find really odd that you're like experimenting to see what can pump it all contractions like a dick yeah so they get a dick pump on it and what they do is hand movement they get a little record this actually if we need to we're going to start youtube in this they get a little ring a little metal ring while the penis is flaccid and they put it right at the

top of the shaft and then they pump it up and then it's just like a big dangling sausage and then they do that thing with the flag oh no no i hate them i think they're disgusting i don't find them one bit attractive they make some women do that there's always those mums that are like slapping their asses at the front like no i i i'm rip repulsed by male strippers well in ibiza we had a hen do and there was um a male stripper that came and he was i've got video of it and His dancing was It was like he was Breakdancing naked

But with his cock Flopping round Right can everyone Have this vision In the head A man doing a handstand And the willy Flopping

The other way I've got I've got videos And the balls The balls would flop too And you would see The hair under the balls Do you know what I didn't

Like was that He got your hand And put it on him And he was all sweaty And I think he actually Put my hand on his cock At one point No I don't like them

I'm not attracted to them the horrible bet they're narcissists bet they fancy themselves oh my god I bet while they're having sex while you're having sex they're looking in the mirror

at themselves no I don't like strips don't ever get me one because I won't find it funny oh my god once when we were at college some of our friends thought it'd be really funny

to get this strip around and they lived in Chester and I think it was like 3am they were in the yellow pages like this was over 10 years ago

and they got this strip around and it was a bald man with glasses and he turned up and he wouldn't leave and it was like you know those days when you had a digicam

and you put the pictures on Facebook and like there was just this man it looked like you know Neil off The Inbetweeners Dad

and he was just like stood in the corner of the room with a little red cock hanging out little lipstick girls like if you

are listening to this from John Deeds College please can you send these pictures in because I'm going to show Lauren anyway that's it for this week

we are done we're back next week i'm triggered i'm i'm i'm in a bad place let's just end with like some positivity okay so look at me now i fully am a boss bitch i have done a 180 from being this skinny little thing that was crying and trying to go to the gym to look like someone's ex to now like i am nobody will ever fuck with me and once you've got that mentality mate you you're solid so thank you for listening guys please can you repost share tag honestly if you think there's anyone that this episode's gonna help if you've got friends that you think this is happening to please tag them repost when we did the breakup one a lot of people did that and it helped

so many girls so please let's look out for each other thank you for listening again this week please give us a follow on instagram our podcast page is at ntn gaf and our personal pages are at the cosmetic consult and at lauren elizabeth underscore xx we'll see you next wednesday