Nip Tuck - Nip Tuck has had a face lift

Episode Date: January 10, 2024

We're back bigger and better - new studio, new baby and we're ready to smash 2024!This week we hear all about baby Snow and how "hard launching babies" is the new thing! We also chat about the best place to scout premium cock and we give you our best hair growth tips!If you think this episode is unfiltered just hear us on the BONUS episode. Every Friday we will have an extra episode over on our Patreon page and trust us it will get juicy over there. Just click the link below to sign up...https://patreon.com/niptuckpodTo get involved with the show, you can send us a DM on Instagram and TikTok, find us @niptuckpod.Or you can email [e-mail] courtesy of BMG production music Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

hello guys guys guys guys hello and welcome who does it who does it i feel like i've forgotten what to do who got who starts hi guys and welcome to nip tuck not giving a this is the podcast where we celebrate and enjoy being positive aspirational women we've not done this for a few weeks when was the last time we recorded god it feels like it was last year it feels like ages ago this is the first episode four weeks in 2024 oh no here is your highlights no for 2023 i nearly did one no no i nearly did one and then i decided not to bother absolutely yeah last time we did it you were really pregnant in fact can we can we do the shots now yeah right so we're gonna do a shot we're gonna start the year so it's 2024 we've got a big fucking year coming up haven't we like

we're gonna do some good shit guys and this time and we mean it we mean this isn't the youtube when we made the youtube account and never did another video cheers cheers everyone okay it's more than a mouthful oh that's a few times you know last night james did the most disappointing sex why and he's so upset because he's gone away this morning as well and he messaged me like i'm so upset that i did that last night when it was our last what was it he just spontaneously compost after like oh like a three it was literally like yeah oh and he went oh god i'm so sorry oh no and then did you go in a mood a bit well i was just like what was that and then this morning when he was getting on the

plane i said to him if your plane crashes that's the last shag you ever gave me that is what i'm going to remember you by you've gone away on a lad's holiday and you gave me that the night before yeah not good not but that just reminded me about the uh should we do another or do we wait a little uh fuck it let's do another one because then yeah then it's all gone shot in tequila rose by the way we love we love honestly is it tequila rose or rose don't know don't know tequila who right anyway the reason you're drinking is because you can now because guess what i'm not pregnant you're not fucking pregnant for once so you've been pregnant for a long time

for a like a long time i'm not doing it again soon guys are you gonna have another i don't don't ask me these questions too soon or having a baby is horrible i feel like once you've had one straight away the next question is when's the next yeah that's not fair like no it's not really so yeah i have the baby baby snowy baby right let's talk about baby snow yeah so you mentioned this name like what not it was quite late on that that name came wasn't it what what sure what's everyone said about it and where did it come from um i just was like oh my god what about snow but why because i wanted s like saskia i like that i love uh what's the word there's a word for it and i like it a lit what alliteration or something you know what we mean um and i was

like oh my god snowy is just the cutest name in the world and hasn't it grown on you loads is it cute or is it ridiculous i think it's a bit of both a bit of both and i feel like the other names that you had weren't ridiculous enough no no so you know what i mean we had this one name are we allowed to say no no absolutely not after you broke my heart again and again and then are you still do you still want to use it yes it's my fucking name you're gonna use it forever now i want to have another baby just so i could use no when actually when you said that name a small that name was my name before it was yours i had that name when i was with i said that name on the pod years ago i i had that name when i was with because i remember his mum being like you're not calling it

that and i thought i'll do what i fucking want lady god so anyway a lot of people like when i'm i went to take for a passport pictures and the lady was like oh my god what have you called her and i was like snow and it was like in knutsford and it was an old lady and she was like like walked off but i don't care what anyone thinks um i think you i think the names that you had including the one that we were going to use yeah that name we were going to use i think is too soft you needed something a bit more fucking powerful like you can i just feel like you've got the aura where you can give your kid a ridiculous name because guess what i want to and i can do that yeah whereas i feel like if i was at my school and she was called snow

along with a lot of like i don't think no no with like kai and yeah all the other names that i can't think of now and then snow wouldn't fit however you can so i'm glad you did so i did and she has no middle name what do you even middle name that yeah you can't so yeah so i had the baby and i managed to get the room that i wanted tell us a little bit about the birth right so i got room 101 at the portland which is the best room it sounds really creepy sounds like like a room that everyone gets murdered in yeah i know but like so basically i was pushing for room 101 and then they were like ashley we're really sorry we don't think you're gonna get why obviously what's the hierarchy well it's not like a hotel when you know when someone's checking out

people go into labor early yeah but i thought they just did sections there no no you have a natural do you vaginal molly may had her vaginal oh of course right okay okay so they can't be sure yeah so so they don't know like i i do think because they said it was the busiest the hospital has ever been i do think they might make it into just sections soon really because it's a big everyone is like a lot more people are going private births now so ashley gave me a tour didn't you when you got there yeah video it had like a living room ed had a room yeah you had a room it's still like a hospital but you know what's annoying though like when you go into the bathrooms it's still a hospital bathroom whether you're in withy whether you're in it's

a hospital bath well i had to go to the nhs you were praying for it so i need to tell you about this so anyway i wanted you to have the baby there no i wanted you to go into labor and have the baby with the car park everything went really really well but when i went down to theater to have the baby they put the spinal block in which they do when you have your c-section and um it makes you go numb from like your boobs do they do is that the same as an epidural or is it different because i think i had an epidural and a spinal block and i couldn't walk for a very long time i i didn't think anything of it but i remember the guide the anaesthetist saying to me if you get a headache you need to go to hospital because they had to put that much in do you think no so

basically i was fine everything was fine i stayed two nights went home then on like day four i woke up with this fucking banging headache and basically it's when they've punctured your spine that many no spine stuff is minging isn't it it reminds me of like jelly yeah the fluid off my brain had leaked through the hole right so then my brain had swollen up and i was getting these epidural headaches and the only way you can combat them is to lie down to fill it back up long story short i had to go into within shore hospital you did they were absolutely amazing honestly they were so good and they had to do another epidural on me but no baby was coming out this time there's no excitement yeah so they had to take blood out of my arm and put it into

my back i've had a pretty shit time yeah oh so luckily you had nanny tell me about that because whenever anyone says you've had a shit time everyone goes to you oh my god what were you laughing at the other day oh yeah she's got all the help in the world what did you post if i had that money we were laughing so ashley posted um before and after mld massaging she looks unreal she'd had a baby about a fucking hour ago yeah it looked amazing and we were voice noting each other what we thought the karens would have been saying back to that no someone did reply and they were like if i you this isn't affordable and loads i keep getting loads of those messages recently and i'm just blocking people but the thing is this is not

the page for you no nobody is saying that you that you can't no one's asking you to go and watch someone's skin then yeah like go and follow someone's skin i bet that's a really interested instagram to follow today i had a tin of baked beans for my breakfast do you know what i mean like it's not they're following you because you're interesting like fine go and follow somebody i wouldn't have had another baby if i didn't have night nanny but yeah we were saying that everyone would be replying like yeah well if you if i had a night nanny i'd look like i look like that when she's all about bloody surgery she's like well if i had that money i'd look like that as well no karen you wouldn't because you're eating 10 packets of crisps for breakfast yeah so no you

wouldn't know but tell us everyone wants to know this shit everyone's really obsessed with this nanny stuff it's a big like the molly may mentioned it didn't she yeah i feel like i think it's a touch of jealousy well the thing is so my sister's moved to dubai and everyone in dubai has got like two three like nanny housekeeper they've got everything it's just what they have anything and doody that's well it's just what they have yeah it's the norm um i need my sleep so i got a night nanny again i think people that don't agree with it you can't function with it i couldn't have been here today yeah it's it's fucking hard graph isn't it really hard you feel what i would say is if i was in that financial position and someone said to me you can have a

night two nights three whatever sleep i would be like give me the sleep you need it because my head's going and i'm gonna drop her and i'm gonna fall asleep with her don't get me wrong that's reality that's what everyone has to do when you have a baby well that's why you get maternity leave as well and we well you haven't had maternity leave either so that's the other thing yeah um when you were in hospital it was so cute i was texting ed oh and i was like i haven't heard from her for ages um she's not replied like is everything all right and he sent me this really cute message and he was just like mum and baby doing fine she's here all's good she's just having a little rest a little rest really cute and then when you were in hospital with this spine thing

i texted him and he's like she's doing really well um we'll keep you updated but all looks good kind regards kind regards and the way he's like yeah little doll doll he calls you doesn't he anything you say to him like i know i just want to murder him at the minute but do you think that's because you've got a new baby hormonal like i'm just being a horrible bitch to everyone i've still got this headache quite bad oh my god i had to talk you down off a ledge yeah but she rang me we won't say what but she rang me and she was going to be incredibly horrible to somebody yeah she called them an effing twat yeah and said she was going to be absolutely and she rang me and basically i was in the bath with thea i always have to ring you and she rang me and the first

words were lauren and i was like yeah she took me down off a ledge or tell me to jump which one and i was like i don't think you should send that i agree with what you're saying i'm not but i don't think you should say that right now thank you for doing yeah and then we laughed about it afterwards but sometimes you just need that voice to be like stop maybe not now yeah maybe think about that in an hour yeah um but yeah you you've but you had a headache and i think there's nothing worse and i'm not a headache gal same i'm not a sickness gal and i'm not i'm a bladder infection gal yeah well i had that as well fuck me i've had it all anyway boring baby stuff house wait no i've not finished what people are going to be interested i think in what you're doing after baby because

you look really good um and i think it's quite i think people will want to know honestly like getting your sleep means that you don't have to eat shit all day the next day yeah that's true like you look like what's your belly looking like it's still quite big me no i'm not being funny it looks better three and a half weeks then before the baby and i'll tell you why because you've got a bit of something going on a bit of swelling it's pushing your skin out yeah your skin looks ashley your skin looks so much better now than it did before the baby it's because you're weightier so chunky well i'm not like in any big rush to lose all the weight like i wear leggings and a black top all the time you look really good i think when you have a baby i wouldn't even consider

a diet for a while six weeks before you get really ill otherwise and life's depressing enough like you've not slept and then you're not eating either like no you need your crisps no right that's boring baby's done right okay christmas we will keep it quick guys because i am fucking over it and i it went on too long for me you had a baby at such a shit time it was anybody i mean i'm end of november which is close theories which is close to being really really really shit but december babies why would you i would abstain from sex nine ten months whatever it is before that to not have a december baby why would you do that mental like it's shit and then my birthday is this january which is even worse shit so yeah christmas was fine but

next year i'm not no less presents i hid half of the kids presents in the cupboard and they didn't even notice honestly presents i said this year that i'm not going to go wild for theater but the hard thing is we've got this blended family so you get presents off different people everyone gets presents everybody and the logistics are really difficult the cardboard the logistics are really difficult because like obviously she gets presents from us then she gets presents the next day because she goes to her dad on boxing day i'm the same because over my dead body will she go on christmas eve or christmas day um so boxing day she goes to her dad so she gets a load more the james's kid he has them on christmas day as well yeah at some point so they get the double

the amount and i just find it i think it's overwhelming and i honestly and i don't go to bed that night with your mind racing about all the jobs you need to do in the morning i just think it was too much but i had a really lovely christmas i have chilled i have not woken up before nine o'clock at all until today yeah i've just chilled i've enjoyed myself i've not gone out i've not part of it was gutted that i didn't do you know when i was watching everyone's instagram and they all had these gorgeous sparkly outfits and really aesthetic pictures well no you had your sexy fish night where you were sick i've not drunk since then oh like obviously i've just had two shots sorry pick me girl i've not except i've not been out since i've not drunk since then i've not been

drunk since then because that was that was horrific that was a lot how long did it take you to go over that we i'm still not over it what have you got the fear still um i am scared about what i could potentially do yeah i can't what like so you don't want to drink again like that i'm scared like yeah i don't have a filter i'm scared of what i can do i'm scared of myself if james woke up the next day and turned around to you and went you literally got naked in sexy fish last night you did a shit on everyone's table i would then you won't check that i'd wiped my ass properly like that's how i would believe if james said you performed a sex act on a random man on the stage i would apologize and beg for forgiveness like i don't remember and you could have been in the

mood to do that you don't know sometimes i've performed sex acts of my mistake before after a few like i've done all this before yeah it was a lot um so no i've not drunk since so i didn't drink yeah it's the fair isn't it we're um we're meeting up on saturday aren't we hon we're not drinking too much i thought you were gonna say we're not drinking then i was like no we'll have like a few glasses of wine i'm not drinking wine what are you drinking vodka lemonade okay i can't drink wine i just can't yeah maybe that is what i why because i don't eat that much like white wine gets you full and with lemonade and like i drink it it's like a fucking it's like the fruit shoot like no yeah and also i've got all these hormones it's flying around your body oh you're gonna get

really pissed and do really weird shit oh no like crying and i think you're gonna be all boohooing no i'm not so we're meeting our friend steph aren't we who we desperately need to see so it's gonna be really nice um what are you wearing um something like this are we dating what are we leggings are all i've fed me right now what are we what are we doing um so you come to mine and we'll go to ulti markets what kind of vibe is that like this kind of vibe very casual yeah yeah yeah okay and we have a few wines there yeah you know we're not going to go home so we need to make sure that we're dressed appropriately for the next place oh no lauren i've got the fear already no monday we're going to be like what i've just got a feeling that that's what's going to happen

oh so let's just wait and see i'll sleep at your house yeah yeah i'll sleep at yours we'll have a few drinks we won't go out james is away oh yeah by the time this go well by the time this goes on he'll be back so any exes like who listen to this if you were going to turn up at my house don't because he'll be back um there's any exes out there

that were planning to form an orderly queue and beg for me back and anyone that met a lad called James in Val d'Azur

in Val d'Azur don't message Lauren because I can't see I'm blind he's gone to somewhere

called right you'll have to tell me how to pronounce this teens teens I'm not a ski girl toes

toes he's gone somewhere in france and it's next to valdez and they're going skiing they're gonna get fucked when i agreed to this i really thought it was like an exercise we actually spoke about this on the yeah and i genuinely thought it all got cut out oh really about the strip club thing oh yeah so i honestly thought that this holiday when he's like i'm gonna go skiing dead tame i was like skiing i was like it's like he might as well have said i'm gonna going to bike ride i was like skiing yeah of course how wholesome how good for your legs yeah go you'll come back revive sometime from the reflection of the snow stunning next thing he's

on his phone swiping away and i could hear it's like what are you looking at you like sheepishly turned his phone at me do you know what goes on at skiing mate i know what goes on at skiing dancing the first one there are women women i did not know there's loads of sexy women there's loads of strip clubs swedish women um french women i had quite a few clients that were strippers and they used to in the winter like at this time of year go out to like valdezera and stuff and they said they earned so much money it's like golf holidays men will find pussy where they want to find pussy and if they're on a golf trip this pussy is well you remember what happened on footballer's wife's golf trip so there's a there's pussy at golf trips everywhere

when he digs everywhere so there's pussy everywhere everywhere so they go um i mean james won't do that james won't do that no he actually won't he's such a pussy himself he actually won't do that but um and also he can't anymore so this is what i said to him why i was like you do know that everyone knows you are now darling i said so if a girl says something and you can't hear what she said don't lean in and say sorry what did you say because then some fucker will get a picture of you lauren that sounds mean well i don't care it's true and i said so just keep the distance keep it to i think a meter distance yeah yeah what's a meter uh what was the covid one three three then yeah i think that's absolutely fine for women now those places to be

honest look very cozy they are very close to each other i just would not want to be like wet and cold i don't get the skiing thing girls if boys message us with your skiing oh tell us your dirty do you know what girls if you want to go and get some cock go for co skiing go for cock or go on a golf holiday my cock's there my cock is skiing this weekend yeah but like i think girls like like skiing is fuck ocean beach and skiing isn't cheap so you are only getting premium cock oh yeah if you go to val d'azere there is only the premium yeah or go to dubai and go to the nicest hotels and hang around the lobby premium cock yeah yeah well we taught them all this well yeah get the good yeah when girls whenever you're because like this time of year you are like

booking your girls trips so you can get in shape just remember do not ever scrimp on the accommodation girls yes at the time you might think we can stay in this fucking airbnb in the arse end of nowhere or we can stay in this five-star hotel i'm telling you now girls this is the best advice i will give you whenever i have literally had to get my fucking aqua card out and pay for a room in a five-star hotel the whole trip has been paid for by a man that i have met in the hotel bar preach there we go and let's start 2024 in the best way you ain't meeting nobody good in the lobby of five palm or i can tell you that the lobby of obi chibitha you need to be staying premium yeah because the people that are there the after parties the connections you go there you meet

someone you've got a yacht for the whole week yeah and also why spend your own money why why they they pay your um bill at the end where you've never had my bill paid at the end oh yeah i have have you yeah do you remember when our friend went to dubai and she overheard this russian guy and he was absolutely fucked by the pool and he was with all these different girls like was sending them all drinks over all day and she got his name and his room number and she put her whole fucking thing on you wouldn't do that in dubai though if you got caught anyone else do that where you just when you're at a hotel just try a few different room numbers a few times no no lauren i've never what so when you say your room's two two three you're

right though they could easily fucking do that i've done that so say you have you actually yeah it's not normal no so say your room's two two three you put two three three oh two three three and then a squibble because everyone's fucked anyway anyway you've never done that i've done it on a family holiday yeah but knowing me like i'm very noticeable they'd be like it was her with a big bottom yeah with a huge bottom no because i just feel like if it's a big hotel hand this different bar i was like try it guys don't try it if you get caught i didn't tell you to do it yeah but we are telling you now to go the extra mile on the hotel because i'm telling you that will you will need less euros in in the long run your dh gate louis vuitton bag

you'll save a lot let's wrap that table or conversation up yes because that could lead us into some and we are advocates and we have got some stories we listen we've done it for years and i see i have no shame we've got the hacks the trips the everything that you want the tips the tricks but this leads us on so guys you know that we always want you to get in touch you can always get in touch ask us questions please contact us talk to us about everything we have mixed things up a little okay yeah you might feel a little sad but you don't need to so this is what we're going to do we're going to have our normal wednesday weekly that is always going to be there for you guys to catch up with us but our friday bonus we're going to have over on our

patreon yeah reason being you might think that we're uncensored now darling there's a lot that we cut out and we feel like we want it to be pure unfiltered chat and unfortunately we cannot do this on this platform alone there are haters in every fucking corner and i mean i could need to go and get a job at like hsbc in a few years you ain't ever working at hsbc i mean they'd google me and i would just you'd be dead the door would be slammed in my face we want to have somewhere that feels more of a safe space a little more of a safe space yeah so if we do our bonus episode over in patreon we can be so bloody unfiltered and you can too i thought you meant me i was like yeah me yes i'm on this and you actually no you guys can so any questions that you have for us

even if they're like gross we will answer the questions we'll answer them we will answer it into our bonus we're also going to do a little thing which we love the idea of where it's like a little bit of a facebook memory throwback yeah so on our patreon what we'll probably do is post a picture of ashley from 2000 and nothing me old pictures of us and we'll talk about those times and we want you to send in your facebook memories like the things that you've done when you were younger so it's still going to be amazing still going to give you all the advice it's going to be over on patreon and this episode is still going to feature everything that you want yeah everything that you need we're still going to talk about what we've been up to we're still going to give you

advice everything is going to be the same but the bonus is just going to move location exactly and Here is a little clip just to get your taste buds tingling. That's how my dad, do you shag my dad? If he was fit, yeah. Not that he's not. He said, I bet that still smells when we get home tonight. We got home and it still smelled of arse. I can't stand the man.

He gives me, and his music when it comes on, I'm like. Let me tell you this. He's not going to like me saying this. I don't think he'll care. He won't subscribe anyway. won't subscribe no only on the bonus would i have admitted that so guys if you enjoyed that sign up in the link in our bio and be part of the nip tuck club we promise we will give the goods and you will absolutely love it over there you're gonna love it let's have a break let's have a

break there's been a lot of catching up let's have a minute and then let's reconvene yeah is that the word reconcile yeah no reconvene potato it's reconcile actually okay bye-bye we're back we're back baby so right this bargain bucket's a little bit different um let's talk about what we bought over christmas because there was black friday so i feel like we bought loads of stuff and then i've used it all over christmas and now we can talk about it right absolutely fine i've not really bought that much you know you bought the westman stuff and you hate it hate it so you recommended a while ago yeah what's it called skin tint right so i've used it now i it's expensive stuff so right so i've used it three four times before i decided that i was

given it to you yeah it's in my handbag to give you but you use their bronzer and you love i love their contour sticky thing i feel like the shade of it is really nice it's like a cooler shade rather orange altilia guys vestment it's on cult um yeah that's my only thing however what you showed me this morning right okay so it's a pressed powder from westman altilia and i got it in shade pink bubble so it's pink don't be frightened by that it isn't pink yeah and then this was by the way the best purchase of 2023 i would say it's so good at the end of the year then i've got the beauty blender double-sided thing like it's like a triangle powder puff yeah again 10 out of 10 really like it both of them together it holds the product well

and it pushes it in nicely as well whereas your normal powder pads kind of make it sit funny sometimes so i really recommend that from beauty i bought a few bits from victoria beckham beauty what do you think good you're just saying that because i wouldn't want to slag her off either no good and packaging is nice but worth the price now really how much the doll glosses are better than hers oh you heard it the colors are stunning but like for how much i can't remember i got it on black friday okay do you think the bronze is about 60 quid that he thinks victoria beckham's sexy and i think no he must because he's never spice girl he's never ever said anything about another woman ever and then all of a sudden he was like how is she so skinny after having all

she is sexy in the crisp white shirt she has got something about and she takes the piss out of which i like yeah so you thought it was good but probably not worth the money what a hype uh i mean i you don't want to say sorry i'm very frivolous so i always have to remember if i had to pick a product so like the doll bronzer over hers i would pick the doll and it's a quarter of the price right so you have to remember that some people have a budget but for the way the package looks on my desk stunning but is that what i'm buying me no it's not it's not i've heard guys we need to go and buy this actually the l'oreal new serum foundation i've heard is what's it called is it true match or something um and make sure has been posted a

makeup artist i follow called i can't remember australia has just posted saying she used it for the price point thought it was fantastic so sasha our friend sasha atwood um she uses the l'oreal skin perfecter which is green she puts it on then she puts that on and his skin looks flawless i mean she's about five as well which helps well yeah stunning and when we went out with her a few weeks ago i said to her oh my god sasha what have you got like what on your skin and she went well i work with l'oreal but honestly actually this stuff is unreal so l'oreal l'oreal hit us up here we are here we are we we are ready for you oh my god do you remember and if you shit i won't tell anyone do you know i feel like i'm scarred by drugstore foundations from when we

were younger dream matt moose same matt moose fucking collection 2000 no i'm the same and i i'm so snobby one as well i'm so snobby about um drugstore i'll be honest i i 100 i feel like it's all changed now well you told me that the the manufacturers of something and chanel beauty was the same company so like are we being stupid here i will not buy drugstore i'm sorry i'm really funny about it so maybe we need to look into that i feel like foundations are so expensive now like the one that i get's about 60 quid so i had my makeup trial yeah um for my wedding i mean oh no no no no no no not her she is unbelievable it wasn't that um what it was is i don't like wearing a lot of makeup do i just don't i don't i make me feel old i prefer not you can see all

of our fine lines exactly so in general i very rarely get my makeup done and think oops done it i just don't she did a lovely like a good job pictures don't forget that yeah and i also Looking good on camera and picture and in real life are three totally... Different things. I feel like, who was it? My friend met Kim Kardashian and I said, oh, my God, what does she look like? And she was like, Ashley, she had so much makeup on, but then I took a picture of her and she looked insatiable.

So it's like, what do we want to do? Do we want to look good in real life? Do we want to look good on pictures? Yeah, but, mate, on your wedding day, all of the above. No. i don't want someone looking at me and thinking you ugly bride like that's like when you're on a night out and you go out for a faggy you look at each other and you're like oh jesus christ they've got those spotlights outside and you're like oh my face has been in the moldies of my

next one in rotten stone fucking hell lauren what am i going to do no it's it's true it's true it's really just i want to like craters i want to look good on the day i just want to look good all the but i want to look good on the pictures anyway it was really good and she was amazing but i also had loads of spots as well can i recommend why have you still got spots you have every product under the sun i'm sorry i'm being a pick me girl but i don't get them spots no i don't i honestly put that down to celery juice i never get spots in the past probably two months i've been getting one horrific one it's diet mate

it's my diet and it's the cheek one and it's picking it's messing and getting in the mirror and picking and squeezing can I just say though do you know what is really really really really good putting fake tan on your face and neck

I don't suit it why? I look like a prick like I've been down the mines in Bake Up Next At Shoe Factory in Rotten Stall I look like I've been down the mine left in the pie factory

I never honestly doesn't suit me sticks in my pores doesn't look good on me have you tried the new fake tans you've not have you yes I look much better

when I am just pale in the face not the body I don't what the fuck I do my skin looks so much nicer

but anyway I've not finished my fucking point go on so this makeup artist told me that i said i use armani foundation she was like nice she had but not good for all day not good for weddings and not good for tv so she did a mate a lady once on loose women i didn't like to ask who i wanted to know why the fuck you i was thinking about you and i thought ashley

as soon as i go to a makeup party to go who's the most famous person you've ever done who's the prettiest obviously apart from me um honestly i knew when i was thinking ashley would ask now and i didn't i actually didn't care either i don't care what they're like and i don't care because i don't know them but anyway she did someone for loose women and she said on the first day she used armani because it was a new thing at the time and she was like and it is a fab foundation she said i was watching the woman on the camera thinking i fucked up i fucked up she was all coming off so she recommends for wedding days dior face and body is it or yes yeah and it comes in the squirty thing so she you already know of course makeup forever dior range is made for

like event makeup so she said that that yeah she would recommend that for a wedding not armani so it's a good job i'm not doing me do you remember when we used to wear fucking double wear people still wear that i actually went through a phase when we did that long ago and it actually looked okay um what about the double wear concealer i'd be more happy using the double wear concealer and then a lighter foundation yeah i feel like maybe we need to contour with concealer more and i've bought a really good concealer recently from cosas and you always talk about them don't you natasha denona again another one that i've seen a lot that i would never particularly look to buy but meant to be good cult again is it called beauty yeah yeah

well there you go the um i'll tell you what i would like to try hourglass that's the one i wear i'd like to try everything that they've got oh it's stunning is it actually it looks nice and it reels me in oh it's the best really unreal everything everything so should i begin now to me i mean i bought the palette and it and then you bought the palette and i was like oh god waste of money do you remember the palette with the yes highlighters and the bush i got it on sale but um and you said that to me but then i said oh look no this is what happened i'll tell you what happened i went shopping on a lovely day shopping went to grantley hall i took a picture of my purchase on my bed really chuffed with my little discount ashley replied to my story that's shit

after i'd laid out my purchases ready for instagram see i've got that it's shit thank you good night yeah um their foundation and the concealer is stunning but do you know what i must say i got sent a mascara from an expensive brand is it the one that i got as well yeah to get it out of the box mate i looked like i was on crack after an hour it was fucking i was like you know when you've been out somewhere and you look in the mirror you're like oh why the fuck did no one tell me and it was shit the best mascara we use is the maybelline sky high i agree um i got that same package of stuff i've not opened it because you told me not to it's in my gifting box so it will somebody some poor relative will get that for christmas i'm not even

gonna try it but it's meant save that for the bonus lauren yes exactly that's where we slag our mother-in-laws off anyway let's talk about that in the bonus right we've got a list of messages i'm still here for the hill i'm just quickly trying to clean up i'm there with them a brush trying to sweep up the mess that ashley's just made with her family okay right a beauty hack we've got questions here for you guys as always hi both happy new year and so excited for the pod to come back my hair is really fine and wispy join the club and i want it to grow thicker and longer this year don't we all without using hair extensions good luck do you have any tips would you recommend oiling your scalp and how often do you wash your hair okay i go for a weekly blow

dry unless i'm despo on a friday so once a week i wash my hair not really every other day do you not think that's a blonde hair thing it's a no hair thing when you've only got three strands you need to keep them very clean really yeah my hair is i've got oh my god by the way sorry but can you remember when we were recording i had to go brown because my hair looks can you remember how short my fringe was can you just look you're on a hair growth journey me look here look how much love for me like for me well do you remember it was so short it all fell out um her hair fell out on your vagina do you remember though listen how short it was yeah and it's grown yeah right and i wash my i have to wash mine every other day though you can't necessarily make your hair

too much thicker but you can make more of it i think so i know you can't make more of it you've got the amount of follicles that you've got what you mean is stimulate the growth you can stimulate the holes the follicles that you've got yeah yeah you said it the other way around okay let's not fake news i'm just concerned out there that there's some bald bitches listening right that are like me they haven't got any hair and you've just sold them get on a plane to turkey that is our answer we cannot give you more follicles guys so okay um micro needling is amazing for hair growth whether or not it's drying and needling or needling with something into it like an oil or a stem cell something like that so um you can buy a needle uh roller off amazon for like so

cheap so you can make your own with some knitting needles and a ball what i would say is do the needling before bed and sleep don't wash your hair for a while just because of infection and stuff like that and if you're putting a product in it needs time to soak in um another thing for hair growth i did not know this and my friend told me this hack we should not dry our hair with a towel it should be with a t-shirt what because it makes your hair snap off so when i dry my hair i never never never do this no you shouldn't do that i just supposedly like a viscose fabric on your hair makes the world of difference oh really i also sleep on a satin or a silk pillow absolutely on my list of this year always use you can get two pairs on amazon for seven pounds of the satin

ones and they come out of the wash you don't even need to iron them yeah honestly that's on my list even though the silk they say there's benefits for the skin and hair really it's that whole like dragging it's dragging i agree satin will do just fine it's not a money thing then um another thing when you are done washing your hair in the shower switch on to cold and blast your hair with cold to seal in any of the products that you've heard this one also when you're brushing your hair start from the ends and work your way up especially with extensions don't drag the roots so people who wear extensions obviously you've already got that pressure on your scalp um and i've tried loads of different extensions to find the right ones because my hair's so fine that the last thing

i want to do is damage it even further yeah and when i'm washing brushing drying mine even when i go for a blow i hold the weave at the top oh that's a good idea i hold the bonds to sit because hair dresser sometimes like oh my god i went to dry once and she ripped all my tapes out and i just sat there crying i remember that i was going on a date that night i remember that yeah um some of mine fell out when i like with the hair on it when i went yeah anyway so um i hold it fucking bitch i hold it and then when they drag it other thing i do that with my boobs when i'm having sex you hold them yeah stop them falling off anyway and your ass um i also use a silk trying to use silk bubbles what you don't realize if you have your hair and you think oh i'm being

really good here i've got a bit of conditioner and i've got it in a low bun you've got a bubble around it that bubble is constantly causing tension in the same place yeah so you need a good thing and when you go to bed at night plait your hair and never sleep with wet hair it's a no that is a no don't leave your hair wet for too long oils castor oil rosemary oil rosemary the best oil is actually called batana oil and what do we do with that um so every hour your hair you can buy it off etsy right i think it's from jamaica and basically it's like it's like glue you put it in your hair and it's the best thing to make your hair grow there you go also um there are different supplements you can take we take hair growth ones so there's certain

things that you can take as well that are really really good that work loads of them actually do work so we have to get a list together for you but be aware though of a certain brand of hair growth that a lot of influencers which is a load of poo and it's full of sweeteners additives and dog shit bull shit dog shit and bullshit you're taking bullshit tablets so yeah we'll talk to you about that another time um maybe on a bonus but yeah um there are different tablets you can take i have found mine has grown so much and it is literally hair protection spray oh there's a l'oreal one that callum recommended to me i forgot the name of it yeah um and he said that is the color wow um green tea one is unreal there's some really good you need to protect your

hair well it's stunning yeah there's a lot of different things you try not to bleach it this is the problem when you're blonde and don't as well after you've had a baby don't bleach your hair for a while because you'll think yeah you got away with not losing my hair and then six months later you'll wake up with no hair and not only have you got a six month old you're bald yeah like the pair of those things are not great and your body's fucked so that's the last thing and you realize it's six months it ain't ever gonna go back to normal either you've got the hope you've got the hope i'll snap back i'll snap back six months this is it forever just talk about something that i wanted to tell you about just before we round up so did you not

think there was loads of engagement and pregnancy announcements over christmas everyone saves it for christmas new year and we are welcoming through and i was like what the fuck uh pregnancy pregnancy yeah yeah people save it and i felt really sorry like my sister was sat there just like why is everyone getting engaged and pregnant yeah i think when you get to a certain age that is a worry isn't it just stay off instagram just don't look no i think so for example what i think happens is this you find out you're pregnant yeah you think when am i going to announce you look in the diary father's day yeah and you do a you're gonna be a daddy you do extra special father's day this day because he's gonna be a daddy you do new year yeah you do christmas yeah in front

the tree you do mother's day you do your birthday what else could you do valentine's day another heart to love uh oh what's that from mine to yours as well that was all over yes from mine to yours it's better than boy done good though oh i think people have stopped that now um but yeah from mine to yours does that mean from my family to your family yeah like fuck off anyway um the new thing i've heard off tiktok is hard launching babies so that sounds like chucking a baby across the fucking room at a wall guys don't hard launch with any babies lauren we're not cool if we're announcing our pregnancy before the baby's here you wait and then just take a picture you wait and then like what paris hilton did mom meet my baby like can we just was that real and

here's another one was that real yeah her mum had never met the baby she didn't even tell her mum that she was having a baby no well that's not normal she said that she was scared and mum was gonna tell all of her friends but do you remember on housewives lisa rinner said i've met the devil and it's kathy hilton so ever since lisa rinner did that i've been wary of kathy did you see Lisa Rinna nude we both sent it to each other at the exact I love her and a vagina look did you zoom in a vagina no why I didn't know I was I went straight in at the fanny well anyway so the thing looks nice now girls is don't announce that you're pregnant until you've had the baby because we're losers if we do that right it's not cool to do pregnancy announcements right but tell

me if you do a lot of instagrammy what the fuck do you post when you've got a big old fat face and swollen nose they hide it because you can't hide i could have probably you can hide yeah and then you just do a bam that's my baby i felt like i had to say though because i talk about everything on here yeah you couldn't not say you were pregnant like that'd be weird i didn't with teddy did i tell it was like five months did you not no there's been a lot of kids out of your um stomach i can't remember yeah so people keep asking me are you gonna have a baby after the wedding are you trying for a baby are you please don't do a scam picture though like i don't want to see you pissed on pregnancy test and you fucking scan oh no no with your date of birth

and you're pissed on no no i'll be much more inventive as you know i'm getting good at reels much more inventive giving drunk face there'll be a background of music from the first time i saw you we fell in love and i can't wait to meet you and then it like didn't and then it'll be james in slow-mo and then we'll do this no but and i'll put my hand to my mouth in slow-mo oh my god and he'll go no no and i'll be nodding it'll be in choir you won't be able to hear it there'll be music i'll be showing him the test he'll be going no shaking his head now i'll be going yes nodding and then we'll hug right at what point by the way are we setting cameras up in the corner at the room bar with show but imagine if your fella went you're fucking kidding you said you

were on the pill you said you were on the pill imagine and you're like i'm sorry steve i'm sorry hands in the air i shouldn't have done it i'd missed one day of it i'm really sorry but we've got loads of kids and we love them fuck off stacy fuck off imagine you tried to film it and that's guys if you've ever done an announcement and it went really badly i when i um when i got probably shouldn't say this go on oh well when i got pregnant with thea um my partner's mom and dad were underwhelmed to say the least oh really and i didn't even and i didn't even get oh i remember that no they didn't acknowledge it so i went home that night after bringing him and telling him i'm pregnant he told his mom dad i went home because i lived there on off and she was like

so what's what are you thinking for tea then i was just like i mean i've already got a baby in my stomach so i'm not a baby so has anyone ever had like a really bad fail i've still got the video when i told my mum i was pregnant with thea i remember and she goes you yeah and she goes fuck and i then couldn't put it anywhere i gave her this card and it was like again you wait for it was mother's day and i gave it and she was like and then she went oh fuck she didn't talk like that she's got quite a posh voice but yeah um if you've ever had any fails yeah anyway let's wrap that up there i think that was quite a good um hard launch back hard launch hard don't the hard launch of a baby yeah well that is what it is it's 2024 we're hard launching um really really

quickly resolutions for 24 don't say i ain't got nanks i'm too cool for that uh you have some you must do i love harder yeah mine is work harder i love a new year new start it is my every day couldn't be a new start lauren that you've got the wrong mentality there no i just mean i love i love a new start so i don't have to wait for december i know i'm just saying i enjoy a new year i enjoy new i enjoy the whole thing mine is work harder also work smarter yeah um stop oversharing on things that aren't the podcast because i'm the bonus episode other than them don't overshare as much and then my last one is to drink any water yeah even a mouthful when i brush my teeth would be more than what i do now so just water in general okay yeah your mind's just

work harder and try not to get pregnant again yeah that's important can you not because every time you get pregnant you slow down the shit that we've got going on yeah okay i would say our growth has been stunted severely okay guys anyway thank you for listening to nip tuck we will be back next week like we said though if you want it tune in to our first x x x x rated bonus head over to our instagram and in the bio you can tap it and you can sign up for patreon leave us a glowing five star or you will be barred follow us on instagram at nip tuck pod send us in girls your table whore moments what's the best thing you've got for free out of a man or what is the best ash's eyes just went like this adding up like what's the best like did

you go on holiday and get it paid for what's the best table what have you done and also how do you avoid having to shag them

tell us all you scamming because you get them yeah true once you've given it away the chase is over darling only legal scamming yeah legal scamming

what's the difference yeah you've not taken their credit card or signed their hotel room bill no more just a flash of a nipple across a bar

for a free drink type thing is what I was thinking anyway lots of love Thank you, everyone. Bye, guys. Love you.