Nip Tuck - Nip Tuck LIVE At PrettyLittleThing London HQ

Episode Date: August 23, 2023

Today's episode is VERY special, as it is the LIVE show Ashley & Lauren held across 2 days in London at PrettyLittleThing. The girls held nothing back and neither did the audience who shared some of their outrageous Slutty Susans. Plus the girls share an exclusive discount code for you to enjoy.To sign up for Patreon for more exclusive content and full video episodes, click this link: https://patreon.com/niptuckpodTo get involved with the show, you can send us a DM on Instagram and TikTok, find us @niptuckpod.Or you can email [e-mail] can also send us your beauty questions, icks, dilemma's and Slutty Susan confessionals via WhatsApp! You can text or voice note the girls on [phone] Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hi guys, so this week's episode is a little bit different. So we went down to London with Pretty Little Thing and we recorded a live podcast. So here we go, we'll see what we can pull together out of it. Please excuse us, but yeah, we thought we wanted to let you in on everything, well as much as possible as we could, of what we got up to down there. so here are some snippets from our live podcast at pretty little thing enjoy hi guys oh my gosh right okay where do you want to sit my sides my good sides here which is your good side any side is good we need the back side honey show them go on right if no one's seen my new bum there's ashley's new bottom we're modeling it she's pregnant from the back

from the front here we go shit hi everyone hi yeah tell the truth yeah let's go hi guys and welcome to nip tuck not giving it oh my god this is so exciting okay this is the podcast where we celebrate being yes yes and then there's some lovely men lovely men here there's some boys in the house isn't there there's some really attractive ones as well anyhow who was that me was it me it was me was it me okay we're in london we're here thank you like thank you thank you thank you thank you guys coming here this is scary for us but we feel like we've got our besties here don't we like legit we're gonna have so much fun guys so fill your boots with your drinks because i can't

i can't not mad at all about that um you've got obviously your amazing goodie bags here like i've not had a rummage through properly but i've heard they're really good yeah i've had a rummage have you what was in there what was the standout there's good i'm there's goods i've not rummaged i've not loved it why did you do that to me i was like why did you just do that i was looking at her like i've not really she's like well what's in there then some good stuff right that was cruel right okay anyway so you've all got some little cards dotted around has anyone filled in the cards yeah are they oh we've got them are you filthy it'll be good i believe you're not gonna let us down here who's got some slutty seasons

there's anybody oh oh honey god bloody hell love that season so more than merrier let's get into it then right what's coming up lauren what's coming up okay so we're gonna tell you what happened last night what was in the goodie bag there's all sorts of amazing stuff in there but yeah we've got some secrets to share with you all because i feel like we're in a safe space here so we can tell our secrets yeah yeah and we're going to discuss last night i'm going to get rinsed and i think i'm going to get absolutely roasted as usual what else we need to talk about someone i mean it wouldn't be a pod without a bit of chat about shmeen shmafni i'm waiting for everyone's stories about shmeen i actually know

him really well you know i actually do do you think he knows that he's do you think he knows that he's talked about on the pod i feel like he doesn't know no tell them i feel like you need to tell everyone what happened on the way to icon right okay so imagine this on the way down obviously like lauren is probably the most chaotic person i've ever met in my life and probably the most chaotic person all of you will ever meet no because i feel like everyone here is also chaotic which is why if you're right if you're more chaotic than me put your hand up oh there's one girl we've got a few okay oh she looks a bit yeah she's chaotic her new name is chaos chaos girl in the back corner also guys um as well as the cancel thing can you let me know

if my nipple comes out i paid a lot for these but like we don't need them out so if that's coming out just someone give me the the look anyway on the way down um i'm there and i'm like you know all pregnant and mummy and boring and boring fat and bloated oh thank you um anyway and i'm like right does anyone want any sandwiches she turns up like late obviously and rush hour traffic 4 p.m on the way down to london her hair looked like an edwardian do you know when you get it curled because you need it to last the next it was not my hairdresser was like don't conquer me in anything my curls were literally i look fucking awful it was not okay and then yeah she came in and she was like i was like right i need something to eat i'm not

eating eating shitting i'm doing this fasting thing i heard it on diary of a ceo but how thin am i though it fucking works it works fuck off i made you jealous yeah so i got eaten for i mean i'd not eaten so we met at what four o'clock was it yeah nothing not one drop had touched my like i'd not eaten get in the car there's a bottle of wine there obviously how much wine can you drink in four hours three bottles a lot three bottles literally we're in the car and she's all quiet and in a mood with her edwardian hair sat there and then yeah she opens this fucking matthias rose like girls if you have ever had a hangover of a dark

rosé. You will know how Lauren feels today. I am so hungover. Her pierce is brown. It's brown. Like literally I didn't know if I had weed or pooed. Her body is in ketosis. I'm in shock. Her breath

fucking stinks. I don't go near the girl. Sorry to the people on the front row. Sorry mate. so anyway so she drinks like basically three bottles of wine smoke 20 fags on the way down i'm there like pregnant and i'm like oh i don't really want to keep asking to stop and be the annoying person that's like she just let me go no then lauren every time we get back in the car

oh i need to stop she did my absolute tits in yesterday honestly i was sat in the car i i've mentioned it again i've not eaten the wine was just do you want a bad right so the wine was just me it wasn't just me lucas was fucking steamy it was to be fair right so we're drinking we're drinking we're drinking and then do you know that moment where you're drinking and then you go outside and it hits you i don't know anyone who smokes you absolutely shouldn't if you do but if you do and you have a cigarette and then if anyone wants a fag in the break lauren will be right so i am i'm in the car for four hours and i'm just drinking and i don't drink that much

drinking the wine drinking three bottles sat next to me right and then we get out at this hotel i don't remember getting there i can tell you what happened i was legless you were embarrassed no a mess i was a mess i've not done it to you yet because i didn't want to give you the fit like i didn't want to be that sober friend yeah she was sick in the bathroom she got in she ate a fucking warm tuna sandwich what a great idea so mrs intermittent fasting shoved her face full of as many fucking service station carbs as she could get so what was the fucking point in that i just remember thinking i need to eat and there was a sandwich and then i ate it and then and then threw up everywhere you know when someone throws up for

attention where do they throw up yeah so i think they don't throw up in the toilet because i'm on attention oh i'm gonna be sorry lucas shut the door in the toilet and go be sick lucas this morning can i tell you the soundtrack to our morning yeah i got pissed great this morning what was our soundtrack yeah she's pregnant yeah whatever you were still sick everywhere this morning all we could hear all morning was all morning that was because you had left literal like anyway whatever we we move we move we move so no no you're not getting away with this get fucked again right you're not getting away with this so yeah she had me up all night all night and let me tell you this is no Ashley Snowball right these are the words that came

out of her mouth you ready correct me if I'm wrong no don't do this to me I don't know what you're gonna say mummy I can't sleep did you or did you not say to me mummy I can't sleep right she couldn't sleep so she gets this nightie and puts it over her head i'm used to having all night then she gets up in the night i'm hungry can you get me a sandwich yeah yeah so the tuna sandwich that she's just slated me for and then with the ham and cheese feeding it we had to sleep holding cans yeah yeah you remember that yeah all night mommy please i can't sleep And I had to hold her, hold hands with the girl all night. So it's really funny, but you were fucking sober, mate.

So there's absolutely, I was blind drunk. She kept going, mummy. Mummy, did you or did you not call me mummy? I did. Yeah. And did I, what did I do? Come on, I stroked you. No, you did.

You really looked after me. I stroked her and I was like, listen, I know that you can't sleep right now. No, this is what she literally said. Like, we all remember this when we were like kids or like, I don't know. in a festival tent at some point and someone goes just breathe

I know you're not falling asleep but just resting resting is the same as sleeping yeah she's like I can't sleep

we've got a show in the morning I can't sleep Lucas is snoring Lucas that guy can snore he was humping Ashley reckons that he was humping

in his sleep he was like he was making that you were he's gonna get really pissed off with us. He was making the weirdest noises. So she kept waking me up all night going,

I can't see, so I was shrugging. I was like, fuck this. I, um, I do have a... Oh, here he is. He's got a mic now. Now he wants to talk. I do have a breathing problem. I don't know if you know. He's got rhinitis. I had a moment where I woke up, I don't think she

knew I was awake, and she went, if he snores again I'm going to slit his throat. She said those words. I was like, I was tapping my leg Trying to keep myself awake For fear of my life So if I go missing She said those words

And I was like it's fine You're on death row I had to hold a hand to sleep So it's all very funny when it's me And we've got another night of it again I'm not getting pissed tonight Right anyway Is everyone drinking?

drinking yeah i mean you're not are you you're sober now lovely for you fantastic um i'm drinking you're not drinking i am not drinking that's a bad one thing i'm really jealous yeah well whatever so we've had some travelers oh what lauren like stop like no we've had some people that have troubled let me rephrase that see the like the one arm joke or like what next I can't let me speak up

where's everyone come from we've had some trouble what Lauren meant to say was where's everyone come from have we got any Manchester girlies you had a problem with your tickets didn't you love when you messaged me I was fucking screaming

Yeah, and she was going, he's actually really fit. We should let him in. I said, he's gorgeous, Lucas. It's funny. Far too young for you, Lauren. Imagine when he's 30, though. No, I was like, you messaged me. I was fucking steaming.

I was like, no, we'll sort anything out. What do you want, mate? So, questions. Questions. Do we have a song for questions? right okay right lukey i know you're busy like giving people drinks but i'm a bit confused it says listeners questions live from the audience live lauren that means we let people ask questions you're gonna be sick no you're not it's a burp

okay okay i'm much more of a farter but um i think it's the prosecco right has anyone got any questions but first can i just say everyone listens to the pod which is why you've got jacks on the front row you're very pretty you're stunning stunning stunning very pretty girl plt oh stunning she's very pretty okay everyone's very pretty but you you keep looking at me fucking hell lauren we hope you enjoyed that we're gonna have a short break now and then we're gonna be back and you will not believe some of the chats that we had with the audience we've got their slutty susans ready for you to listen to pretty little thing the brand that has your back when it comes

to what to wear whatever the dress code with celebrity campaigns including the likes of laurie harvey lala anthony molly may jemma owen india pollock and lauren most recently the announcement of a designed collab with none other than the supermodel queen herself naomi campbell which is coming in september 2023 so get your looks for less at pretty little thing.com via the website or alternatively download the app and their end of season sale starts now welcome back guys so here is the rest of our brunch podcast that we recorded live with pretty little thing okay we've got a guest we have got a guest lauren mate i don't want it to sit next to

me she is really fit absolutely beautiful i don't want to draw attention to the legs but look at her legs right we have got jesse winter from love where is she are you there she's not wait till you see her wait she's in the toilet she's gonna poo as well look at her fucking legs what it's no before we start anything why do you look like this you are tight and toned and look at yourself you look amazing she's not had kids lauren is that why is that why no i feel like when she has kids let's get her on then okay no okay my darling by the way this girl one of us so sound sound hey guys everyone looks amazing right oh my god you're gonna make me go red really quickly because i really i'm interested

why do your legs look like that and mine look not like that you are stunning it's not the right so jesse was on love island australia and then and then she went again okay yeah round two let's go how did that happen so you were on love island australia yeah yeah was it good so i was 23 when i went on love island australia yes it was a little while ago didn't think i'd be going back into a villa no way however i just got a phone call and i thought i'm okay okay i haven't had a relationship since the last villa why not why not and what did you think of it all like what is tell us the truth okay okay what if you need to fart well they aired me farting no they didn't they aired me farting honestly it was on their tiktok over no have you actually fully farting

yeah does anyone fart in front of the boyfriend yeah yes please let's go that is disgusting and that's why i'm not married to a snowman you are so you did a trump so yeah i didn't know that this yeah i was just sitting there did a little fart and i said to will i was like oh i just farted haha i said to him i was like don't you dare tell anyone that i thought no one he didn't the whole time we were in the villa kept it a secret come out log on to instagram what's there in my news bit i'm sorry but imagine coming out of the villa and you're ready for your big deals your pretty little thing deal and the one thing is that you farted literally the whole they could make literally a montage of my farts if i'd been on it i swear make a whole podcast of them

we do no i fart a lot anyway that's not the point so what why did you go back in was it to find love again or because do you know what so I know that people do kind of look at Love Island and think people don't really find relationships yeah but after going into the villa that first time I was like you know what if you really do have your heart on the line if you do put the hard yards in and want to make a relationship work you can you can because well you did you're trapped in a villa yeah they want to run away where you going doll you ain't going nowhere honey so yeah you did though you did find i know i really went in with my heart open for love and i put you know it's not easy falling in love it's really scary i used to have commitment issues as well so there we all

oh my god the villa was a great place for me to stay and work on something and we are so happy now so what's he like he's absolutely hilarious he's so funny is he nice yeah he's the best honestly i've never got a lovely penis lauren for fuck's sake so jesse's boyfriend is farmer will farmer will yeah hey oh does anyone like farmer will we got a few who's very handsome very handsome but there's some handsome men here tonight oh i haven't looked so i can say lots of gorgeous gorgeous faces boys and gals yes there's a mixture isn't there god so you were on with claudia I love Claudia, and do you know what? I feel like you guys sound just like Claudia.

Well, I'm not from Rochester. You sound like Claudia. No, Claudia. You guys have the same voice, but Lauren's. Did you like her? I love Claudia. Isn't she sound? She's such a darling.

She's a lovely girl. I was on a cruise. Did anyone see my cruise? Yeah. I sailed the seven seas. You were such a bitch about the cruise. Yeah, but if anyone actually wants to know what the cruise was, I asked Lauren shortly.

It was fucking good. i swear and claudia was sound did you get on with her really well honestly she's so genuine down to earth she's i just love her and when she was in the villa and i saw her upset a few times i just wanted to put her in a little bowl and i yeah she's lovely so much honestly so was there any like standout moments for you in that villa like is there any moments that you wish you could take back apart from the fart like if you could find is number one you can't take a part back i've tried um it doesn't go back up but listen if there was anything you could take back is there anything or are you kind of like do you know what

yeah i'm a no regrets girl like did you have sex on i mean i might have really just wait you're in there for a long time it doesn't count if it's just the tip right because my numbers would triple don't look at where don't put that on right can i just tell you something lucas puts everything that i don't want speaking about on a short clip doesn't he yeah anything that i say in the episode there's a small part that i think i'd just rather out of the hour that that wasn't anywhere next thing i'm just getting about my day nip tuck have tagged you in something that's like it's the short bit that i would rather not repeat it one of them starts with that one that it starts with them when i have a poo and that's how it starts like

Luckily, I've got a boyfriend because I've got no fucking chance. But yeah, there's nothing you can take back. Jessie, thank you so much. Thank you so much for having me. Thank you. And thank you all you beautiful people. Enjoy the rest of the show.

Thank you. Bye, mate. Look at her fucking legs. I want the mic back. She's beautiful. And if anyone wants a pic with gorgeous Jessie. I wouldn't. I fucking wouldn't.

Right, this is the juicy fucked up bit. No, this is the bit where we're like, right. This is all from you hoes. what we've right guys we have not seen these so lucas is just giving us some of these cards and we're gonna like just sit and we're just gonna work yeah like i don't know let's get cozy right everyone get cozy you go so this lot is from all of you let me get comfortable okay we've got a dilemma guys right my boyfriend comes in 15 seconds there's a girl here with a boyfriend i hope it's not him because that's embarrassing right what do we do about that i mean i'd be

buzzing because it's over and done with very fast that for me is a perfect guy 50 seconds who is it you must have a crack imperative your fanny must be unreal because you've got the pelvic floor i would take that as a compliment no 15 seconds i mean you can go like 10 times in a night straight away is it is this 15 seconds every time 10 how many thrusts is that two one two four thrusts shit for me that's ideal ideal babe right i've got the answer stop being so fucking sexy that's my answer next one ash go on know what though has anyone ever come their pants to be fair come in the so i know that's happened to me a few times so you'll be snogging them and then and it's all over it's done um i this is

okay this one let's keep these quick i want to fly through them all like fly through i've got so many jokes for fuck's sake does anyone fancy a 34 year old pregnant woman in here um right okay dilemma my friend who may or not be here is sleeping with her employee how does she tell her employee so she's the so employee that means she's the boss i feel like there's been feelings that have been caught so she's the boss and she's shagging someone underneath her or on her on top but i feel like don't tell the boss don't tell anyone just keep right right she's really funny because where's Lucas

I swear Lucas was doing this last night you're gonna die you were mate right you were you know the noises he was making he was he was going alright you ready

my my boyfriend wanks in his sleep but when I tell him the next day he doesn't believe me lucas was definitely shagging someone in his sleep last night okay oh my god that's fucked up so he wanks in his sleep sometimes when james is asleep he does weird shit in his sleep yeah like a wet dream right right i don't know what to say about that maybe just be glad that you're

not wanking him off yeah true because that's one less job off the roster it hurts it's a and the 15 seconds that's where the 15 second comes in blow on it blow on it you blow on the penis that's what that sprinkle sprinkle she tells you to blow on the penis she's like if you're really that great you don't have to do much well 15 you're where is she oh she's gone she clearly is blowing very well okay i found out my fiance was cheating on me so i decided to sleep with his best friend. Classic. Good.

Fucking good. Good, he shouldn't have done that. Shag everyone. Shag everyone. He's shagging his dad. And his dad as well. Shag his dad. And if you don't,

I've got a boyfriend I'm going to say. Is this your last one? This is funny. That's a boy's handwriting. That is a boy's handwriting. i facetime my mate's boyfriend when she's in bed next to me his name is james is it you fucking prick is it you who is it who's oh you prick he made it up he made it up okay last one you're a prick and lucas if you want to start i will embarrass you so badly james would never do

No, no, no, never mind a truce. I've got some shit to say about it. I knew that was a boy's handwriting straight away. Right, go. I feel like this one's going to be a good finisher. So you do that one. Let me just put my tits back. I mean, I paid enough for them.

Right, slutty Sue. I was in Mallorca and I met a Spanish man who was the kid's play entertainer. Oh, fucking hell. I'm concerned where this is going to go. I bet he smelt a B.O. He stunk of B.O. and kids. You know what I mean, though?

He actually wasn't that fit. But the bar was all-inclusive. Everyone's fit after an all-inclusive. After dirty talking through Google Translate. What the fuck? Who the fuck is this? He didn't speak a word of English. We made our way to the beach.

I've got something funny to tell you all here. I'm not going to... Oh, I don't. I'm being so mullet. No, shut up! We made our way to the beach. And you can assume the rest. The worst part is he didn't...

He didn't know the word for come. So when he finished... He kept screaming. He what? give me milk you dirt bastard give me milk and he was the kids entertainer

fucking hell I'd pie mine off I'm crying I am never sending my child give me milk right then so you milked him good and proper right last one let's go where's Alice

hello Alice ask alice is this hate oh be careful mate because this is dangerous you're pregnant if you fall over we're gonna sue people alice it says ask me about my worst ever date yes okay so i was about 18 i'm 27 now it's a long time ago i was seeing a guy so it didn't happen i was seeing a guy that was in the marines that was weird weird guys they drink their own piss and we had arranged to have a date together but the day before he was like oh my sister's asked me to look after his nephew maybe we can all do something together so me being stupid and naive was like okay sure so we decided so you said okay sure to you him and his nephew I can't so he picked me up with

the child in the car he was about four at the time and we went to the cinema now on the way we got out of the car and on the way we're walking down and he's like just give me one second I'll be right back in a minute so i'm like okay so i'm walking along with this child he's disappeared so you're walking along with a child that's not yours yeah the cancel thing needs to come in now because this is illegal so we're walking down he disappears he comes back again sorry just seeing a friend i'm like right okay walking down again he's like oh just give me a minute i just need to go back so i'm like right okay he's like go into primark and buy this child and you did this are you all right i didn't buy so i'm like how fit was it because fucking hell he was old

I don't even like my own child, so to be with someone else's. So we went into Primark. I found this child a coat, and then he comes back. So he's like, sorry, sorry again. I'm like, right, okay. Buys the coat. We go to the cinema. He gets free tickets.

We have food. He gets food. We go and sit down. He goes, sorry, be right back. And you're stuck with the child again. I'm sat in the cinema with the child. At what point did you think this was okay? We was watching Madagascar, by the way.

I can't. You know I can't. it's a good film it's good um so we're sitting there the advert's finished he's still not there someone texted him like where are you it's getting a bit awkward yeah he went on a date with a four-year-old so so we're eating our snacks and i'm just like and he's just looking at me like halfway through the film he's still not there so i'm like i'm getting concerned now this child's like i need a wee this is getting weird i'm like it's the cancel thing is about to take him to the toilet like you took him to the yeah i did i was like do you know what you're doing and he was like

yeah so i'm like okay do you know what you're doing i wasn't a mum at this point so yep i go and sit back down the film finishes he's still not there so you've been on i've been on a date with a child yeah cancel cancel delete this shit so I'm like what the fuck is this I was raging so we get to the car park I'm like where are you he pulls up in his car so he hadn't been parked there he's he's gone off somewhere so without screaming in front of the child I'm like where the hell have you been goes out he's like I got a tattoo what he basically left you he got a tattoo whilst I was looking after his nephew. Taking him to the toilet.

Yeah, watching a whole film and he went and got a tattoo. It was really shit. It was like a cross with like a circle on the top of it. I think I've got that one. He's got some terrible ones. So we went back home,

obviously didn't speak to him. And then the next day, it turns out the guy I was seeing does have a girlfriend and the little child was like, when are we going to see Alice again? Wow. So it was his kid?

No, no, no. know who was the kid his sisters so it was his nephew and he said to the girlfriend of the person i was supposed to be seeing when are we gonna see alice again and she was like who the hell is alice alice alice who the fuck is alice that is yeah are you okay though like oh you've got a child okay so you felt like that's fucked up guys don't ever do that leave the fucking kid on his own that definitely sounds like something i do that you've probably been in before right i mean i don't alice thank you i don't even know where to begin or where to end with that keep moving we're moving at the end of the day this is the podcast that's been recorded

are we doing lonely heart we're not doing lonely heart young heart see i love that who said that I love sweet Caroline but they said no this time and that is the end is that it we're done we're finished you guys are filthy like what the milk thing that's can you just tell me again he was saying just say it can you say it in the voice that he said it in can you milk he was stood on the end of the sunbed standing up on a sunbed feet apart and evan was lying down no and he was like can you milk can you milk can you milk can you milk and on that note thank you guys i love you

Yeah, you enjoyed yourself. See, it's not everyone can enjoy this. Like, oh, thank you, guys. We hope that you enjoyed our show and listening back to the best bits from our Pretty Little Thing brunch. And hopefully we'll do another one. Yeah, hopefully we will be getting another date booked in to do another show. We hope you enjoyed it, guys.

And thank you again for listening. Thank you. Thanks for watching!