Nip Tuck - Nudes and Swingers

Episode Date: February 21, 2024

How do we go from feeling a bit meh to talking about d**k pics, vagina pics and then swingers? Welcome to a typical episode of Nip Tuck!We also give you our best tips on high maintenance things to do to look low maintenance! Basically how to look great when you first stay over at your partners house!!!!If you want to get in touch with the show then you can find us on Instagram @niptuckpodAnd if you want an extra episode you can subscribe on Apple OR if you want bonus eps plus be part of our infamous group chat then join our Patreon...https://patreon.com/niptuckpodMusic courtesy of BMG Production Music Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

guys hi and welcome to your main episode of nip tuck not giving a fuck anyway anyway i think i'll lead today i'll tell you all what i did okay what have you been up to this week my face yeah are you on your like happy tablets i'm always on them and can we talk about that by the way yeah what are they talopram do you think it's worth me going on them we can't advocate this shit no i do i've been really open before and said i take talopram i've taken them for absolutely years i didn't take them for a period of time what happens when you do traumatic things kept happening so i kept having to go back on them um basically so i mean the reason i take talopram is my brain has got a slight imbalance um so it means that i'm more and it does run in

the family as well more susceptible to sort of like a depression type thing um so i take them because it keeps me what is normal for everyone else now if i stop taking them all of a sudden i panic i um go like get vertigo you cannot do that you have to like i think tanya bars they spoke a lot about you have to um slowly come off them um and for me like i think it's a medical need i'm not depressed i'm not but i do know that i have a slight imbalance and that just evens it out um a lot of people are on them yeah and so i take them a lot more than anyone thinks yeah but i'm really open like that it's you know that's what i take um but it doesn't change like if something stressful happens it doesn't make it what happens if you take two nothing i've had

five this morning no it's not like that it's like it just keeps on an even keel so when things do happen that are stressful yeah i can just deal with them slightly better than if i wasn't on them and but it's not like a happy you don't take it and then you're like girl yeah it's not like that it just makes me normal one of my friends um i think there are other things that can make you happy but yeah i don't take them but there's always a come down isn't there exactly there is whereas this is just like a medication thing that i'm always on and if i did decide one day to come off it which who knows i might it would have to be like a slow um but yeah the reason my face is i've had the most stressful weekend ever i've just been telling you about it haven't i so james isn't

very well um so i ended up yesterday with four children on my own um trying to get work done james isn't well and it just made me think like as a woman there's so much juggling to do isn't there it's hard term it's like looking after the kids trying to go to the gym so that you look semi-decent like trying to work there's just so much pressure and obviously today we're here with pod and it's real like obviously we're fun we're all the rest but it is also real and today my head is in the fucking bin christina just met up for a coffee then before we started recording before i flew in like and we both sat down and we were like if you felt a bit because i texted you and i was like i've been down in the dumps and i was like yeah like what is this about like i was

literally sat doing my makeup this morning and i was like oh my god i'm gonna start crying literally just like yeah and i was like yours might be this life post part no i think it's honestly like you said you feel the same really yeah i just feel like shit you're both gonna cry yeah ashley's gonna cry i've had time yeah this weekend i watched um i purposely watched a sad film to cry yeah i watched lion which i've seen loads of times but it always makes me cry and i was just like i don't know what is wrong with me like it's weird you're like is this we were just like is this life like is this what we were sent here to do do you need to both go on the thing is with you ashley like anyone and this isn't me belittling this is making a point because if you looked at

your life yeah yeah it's fucking great yeah so on paper yeah so my point is like you've got help with the kids you've got a lovely life you don't have financial stress so technically you should be all fucked you know so if so what my point with that is isn't to like say you shouldn't feel like that it's to say if you still yeah have that weird feeling yeah when you on paper don't have any like mega imagine how i'd be feeling if you did yeah so that's telling me that it's more than just reactive to stress of life it's like a thing a dark a dark cloud isn't it christina that's what we were saying and that's what i get if i don't take medication fuck and i'm not saying you need to but that's but my i started seeing a therapist though like and i just think i spend

that much time and effort on like going to appointments for other things i felt like it was time to start you know in america it's so normal and i do complete like like you've just said we spend all the money on our face on our body on our hair it's your mind yeah your mind is huge and it doesn't mean that you have to have particular problems i guess it's more just and it's learning i don't know how was it what was it like when you went yeah really good like i'm still getting to know her because we're only on week i'm there for two and a half hours wow yeah um and we do a bit of reiki and stuff and she helps me with like um making decisions on things like thinking things i had a problem and i went and it was so weird that the problem had just occurred yeah as

was going in and she literally said some things to me from a totally different perspective that i would never really have thought of myself and also i want to take stress away from like everyone else in my house yeah do you know what i mean yeah yeah because like you said you're the woman you're like the last yeah oh my god i agree like you're the i am the bottom yeah of the pile so then who do you talk to no one you've got your friends that you can moan yeah you know but it's not constructive it's negative or i'm a bitch at home which i'm not really very often but james said like he can he can kind of eat your aura if i'm happy everyone's happy i agree and what i do think as a woman you are the head of the household you look after you are needed like

if i got ill now i can't be ill for a day because everything would fall apart because i am the glue yeah that knits everyone together as are you so i do think like you need to be okay to look after every every other fucker that relies on you and then as you were just saying like you were like and your life looks so amazing and you you know you still upset christina went for a fucking massage by herself this weekend and she had no kids that to me is like and she's still sad and she's still sad so who the fuck i know i know who's happy people listen to this listen it's all relative yeah this is the thing it's all relative to you and how you're feeling i'm not like depressed and no no no but we're just a bit like we're in a rut and i think it's nice like

this podcast obviously we're here to make you laugh and it but it is also real and i think we are we have real problems and sometimes we come in like today and i have had the morning from fucking hell and from fucking from fucking hell and I'm I'm I can't even speak because I'm like oh anyway right that was a bit deep guys so this week um I have just been busy busy busy but I did make time to go to an event yeah um I was working wasn't you were working that was nice um but all the girls that were there were so good at taking pictures oh honestly do you go to these influencer events and like i just sit there i'm so old and like i was probably like 10 years older than everyone in the room i mean i'm not old but like compared to influencers and they're all there

with like these 10 lights they make 10 cameras and i get they make it a priority because it's their job and like as soon as they got in they got the shots yeah and that's why they have got fantastic content yeah fantastic and i was just like couldn't be arsed it's not that i wouldn't know where to start i want to get the good pictures i want them i'm jealous but where do you what like how so anyway i was talking to them and i was like come on give granny something nice give the little old lady the tips and um they were like right so there's this app called snow snow snow and it's an ai app that you download this by the way is what i've understood of it right and we've not got it have you actually got it i've got it i have not had time to

properly look at it but basically it's an ai app that you download onto your phone and you put you scan your face in and then it's like what do you want to change on your face do you want smoother skin do you want bigger eyes do you want bigger lips and then you can put it on your phone and then you've got snow what good is that so then that goes on your instagram so every picture so every new picture that you take it changes your lips it's consistent okay so it's not like you know your face well you've got a different face oh do i want a hollywood or a do i want a glamour what do i want this is consistent in every picture that's frightening so your catfishing has just gone up a level but the thing is the influencers that use this because all influencers

mess with pictures don't they everyone i do but there must be a level that everyone feels like they need to get to i didn't think of it like that deep i just wanted to let everyone know that like yeah try it get the give it a go but then what i'm gonna get it yeah get it i've got it i'll hopefully be up and does it just make you do you know what though it's not just that is it it's the way that they get the lighting the angles the way they hold themselves they're like models i don't know how to hold my body yeah i'm i can't but it's their it's their foot i mean i suppose it's kind of ours but we're different aren't we like a different type of i've i gave up the editing of stuff i would love um to get amazing pictures maybe we could get an influencer on one day a top

influencer girls i'll open a chat on patreon um about who takes the best pictures because i would love to get an influencer on and say to them give us your top tips our friend lauren i think her content lauren watson i think her content is absolutely fantastic i want to know what stand have you got what light have you got what app do you use what editing how do you get it how do you get your videos to look like a photo like crisp mine look like i'm in my bedroom why do you molly may's content is like it's you know it's flawless isn't it yeah and it's like even the background the videos look like they've been shot or maybe they have and then i start to think is it my house like oh my god it's the house must move house but what is it that'd be good to get

an influencer on it'd be really good yeah okay well let's have it i'm not actually gonna say because i've just had a really good business idea what anyway um have you seen the drake now do you want to see it yep okay so have you seen it christina uh i've seen pictures of him in bed no no no come around here let me show you people talking about this but like i said i've had a heavy weekend with four children so i haven't been looking at drake's cock right but i'm happy to do so now but i am happy to do so right now let's play there is it him yeah well we're gonna to talk about this oh my god what is that it's like a pork sword it's a sausage it's a it's a bratwurst look look he's looking it's not even hard it's not even hard jesus that looks like

a fake penis so i've done some digging is it him basically that video of him is supposedly people know it's him right allegedly because allegedly because it's on his plane and you can tell that it's his plane okay unless he has a friend that looks very similar with a huge old cock it's a blurry video isn't it yeah um and then one thing's not other people have said it's ai which is scary because you can do so many things oh my god listen to this so a friend of mine callie yeah um posted not long ago that there was a nude going round of her and it was an ai nude and honest to god yeah they will be able to make them like that it was she'd done a big um an underwear picture for a brand um and they'd taken the underwear off and get and it looked and she

basically poked she was like holding it on the video like this is not me naked like this isn't me but you would absolutely think that that was her how frightening which is why you say don't share your kids there's gonna be more it's that is frightening yeah it's really really scary i think that the ai stuff is gonna be can i just say as well so that picture whether it be video whether it be drake or not yeah what if that was a woman with a vagina lips out yeah that wouldn't be funny yeah so yeah we've just had um it wouldn't be funny no no that is funny and also we would get absolutely fucking ridiculed for all sitting here looking at someone's pussy yeah yeah one way yeah and we should we should get told off for or giggling it yeah if three men were sat looking

at a woman's vagina and going wow they would it would be absolutely inappropriate we've just sat and made jokes about his winky do you think it's like a hen do thing like you know how like hen do's go around like with the willy strippers yeah big inflatable willies and everyone's like oh it's a joke but imagine if a bunny has yeah fanny straws oh my god with a big hairy fanny then girls are really cringe with all of that don't you think yeah it's a bit much and like men don't walk around with like hubby for lifey written on him they're shagging someone no it is really funny actually it's not okay and also that's gone viral on the internet if it if it was a woman that would have been shut down i think straight away and no one would admit to

sharing it you wouldn't be like on your story have you seen drinks no there would be no memes it would be this is like what's the word revenge porn it would be shut down because it's drake and tallywhacker it's fine so basically um we we then i was thinking about all of these nude things and to be fair do you know what in recent years it has gone that way whereby people are very protective of women's nudes and it wasn't before and so good on us for whatever work like whatever movement where we can still take the piss out of men and they can't us um i remember something that happened at school that absolutely scarred me from ever ever ever sending or taking nudes so we were in year probably about year nine so i think what are you like fifth 14 15 i don't know

young yeah right and this girl so she was just like a normal like lovely girl in my class anyway she took a picture on her mobile phone and sent it to a guy or on a digital camera i think it was it was like like the cannon the pink cannon i remember she was stood in her bedroom with you know those mirrored um wardrobes yeah and she's just stood there yeah naked big bush like just yeah naked yeah um and she sent it this guy he printed it out and he posted it to her mom and dad oh posted it to her teacher um stuck it all around the school i hope he got his karma and did that frighten you but then i'm sure that the girl was the one in trouble yeah i bet i bet she literally like was so like i don't think she came to school again and did that stop you then

thinking made you think twice before sending yeah but then i'm sure it was everyone was like calling her a slag and yeah and it's like it's not her it's not her it's the fucking weird guy i do think there's been a big change since then which is very yeah i'm not a massive nude sender no i'll do tips out yeah i've never sent a vaginal picture because i just never said i've never found an angle in which my vagina i've never found an angle in which my vagina looks attractive i've tried every which way it is not it's not great it doesn't look good from any angle so i've never i've never taken a picture imagine now i'll get a load of emails like i've got one of them but i don't think i have whereas tits i've done a fair few yeah which to be fair i don't care if okay let's not how do

you stand do you like i would put a hand over it i would make it more suggestive on that holiday and that person was sending their partner loads of fanny pictures she'd just go to the toilet and take one and we were like how do you do it and she said she just takes it i would i would put my hand over it suggestively and maybe have one side of the lip out i wouldn't show a full frontal i think it depends who you're sending it to right if it's your boyfriend or actually yeah so if you're gonna so friends of mine if you're going to send it to a pot it would probably be more suggestive as in there would be some perhaps movement going on down there it would perhaps be a video it would perhaps involve sexual toys okay okay i think that's the level i don't think you would just

send a clam pic yeah i just don't think you'll be like here here's my vagina in my knickers i think it would be suggestive but i think what we would like find sexy and attractive is totally different to what men do when it comes to like that yeah they want the full yeah they want it oh they want to see like your wee hole yeah yeah they want to see yeah the full thing yeah right anyway anyway did you see that just before you move on from that did you see the community in the patreon chat some girl was talking about the drake stuff and she was like why why do men think that girls want to see right yeah yes i think i'm not adverse to one a dick pic yeah right if and don't want unsolicited no i get sent them on instagram yeah and it really like it shocks me like