Nip Tuck - Our Best Bits!

Episode Date: January 1, 2025

Happy New Year everyone! We will be back next week with a brand new episode but for now here are some of our highlights from 2024. From surgeries, weddings to candy thongs - it’s been one amazing year, and we want to thank you all for your support, it means so much to us all. If you want to listen back to the full episodes of the highlights featured, here is a full list (in order) ** Nip Tuck has had a face lift ** The Wedding of the Year ** Ashley’s NEW Cosmetic Surgery ** Special guest - Sali Hughes ** How to be good in bed ** Seven times in one night ** Candy Thongs and C*ck sizes Patreon - patreon.com/niptuckpodEmail - [e-mail] Instagram/TikTok - @niptuckpod Whatsapp - 07418 610097 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Happy New Year everyone! We will have a brand new episode out for you next week, but as a New Year treat, we thought we would put together some of our best Knit Tuck bits. It has been a crazy past year. We've had weddings, babies, surgeries, guests, wild as always. And 2024 started with a special arrival of baby snow. So of course, we had a little drink to celebrate the shot in tequila rose by the way we love we love honestly is it tequila rose or rose don't know don't know tequila who right anyway the reason you're drinking is because you can now because guess what i'm not pregnant you're not fucking pregnant for once so you've been pregnant for a long time for

like a long time i'm not doing it again soon guys are you gonna have another i don't not don't ask me these questions too soon or having a baby is horrible i feel like once you've had one straight away the next question is when's the next yeah that's not fair like no it's not really so yeah i have the baby baby snowy baby right let's talk about baby snow yeah so you mentioned this name like what not it was quite late on that that name came wasn't it what what sure what's everyone said about it and where did it come from um i just was like oh my god what about snow but why because i wanted s like saskia i like that i love uh what's the word there's a word for it and i like it a lit what alliteration or something you know what we mean um and i was

like oh my god snowy is just the cutest name in the world and hasn't it grown on you loads is it cute or is it ridiculous i think it's a bit of both a bit of both and i feel like the other names that you had weren't ridiculous enough no no so you know what i mean we had this one name are we allowed to say no no absolutely not after you broke my heart again and again and then are you still do you still want to use it yes it's my fucking name you're gonna use it forever now i want to have another baby just so i could use no when actually when you said that name a small that name was my name before it was yours i had that name when i was with i said that name on the pod years ago i i had that name when i was with because i remember his mum being like you're not calling it

that and i thought i'll do what i fucking want lady oh god so anyway a lot of people like when i'm i went to take for a passport pictures and a lady was like oh my god what have you called her and i was like snow and it was like in knutsford and it was an old lady and she was like like walked off but i don't care what anyone thinks um i think you i think the names that you had including the one that we were going to use yeah that name we were going to use i think is too soft you needed something a bit more fucking powerful like you can i just feel like you've got the aura where you can give your kid a ridiculous name because guess what i want to and i can do that yeah whereas i feel like if i was at my school and she was gone snow

along with a lot of like i don't think no no like kai and yeah all the other names that i can't think of now and then snow wouldn't fit however you can so i'm glad you did so i did and she has no middle name what do you even middle name that yeah you can't so yeah so i had the baby and i managed to get the room that i wanted tell us a little bit about the birth right so i got room 101 at the portland which is the best room it sounds really creepy sounds like like a room that everyone gets murdered in yeah i know but like so basically i was pushing for room 101 and then they were like ashley we're really sorry we don't think you're gonna get why obviously what's the hierarchy well it's not like a hotel when you know when someone's checking out

people go into labor early yeah but i thought they just did sections there no no you have a natural did you vaginal molly may had her vaginal there of course right okay okay so they can't be sure yeah so so they don't know like i i do think because they said it was the busiest the hospital has ever been i do think they might make it into just sections soon really because it's a big everyone is like a lot more people are going private births now so ashley gave me a tour didn't you when you got there yeah video it had like a living room ed had a room yeah you had a room it's still like a hospital but you know what's annoying though like when you go into the bathrooms it's still a hospital bathroom whether you're in withy whether you're in it's

a hospital bath well i had to go to the nhs you were praying for it so i need to tell you about this so anyway i wanted you to have the baby there no i wanted you to go into labor and have the baby with the car park everything went really really well but when i went down to theater to have the baby they put the spinal block in which they do when you have your c-section and um it makes you go numb from like your boobs do they do is that the same as an epidural or is it different because i think i had an epidural and a spinal block and i couldn't walk for a very long time i i didn't think anything of it but i remember the guide the anaesthetist saying to me if you get a headache you need to go to hospital because they had to put that much in do you think no so

basically i was fine everything was fine i stayed two nights went home then on like day four i woke up with this fucking banging headache and basically it's when they've punctured your spine that many no spine stuff is minging isn't it it reminds me of like jelly yeah the fluid off my brain had leaked through the hole right so then my brain had swollen up and i was getting these epidural headaches and the only way you can combat them is to lie down to fill it back up long story short i had to go into within your hospital they were absolutely amazing honestly they were so good and they had to do another epidural on me but no baby was coming out this time there's no excitement yeah so they had to take blood out of my arm and put it into

my back i've had a pretty shit time yeah the tea from lauren's wedding let's pick out some highlights okay so when did we get back we got back like i think i've been married a week now which is cute isn't it and it's been a year since i got um engaged so that was a quick fucking turnaround and i only met him 14 months ago yeah that's a joke that's a joke i did meet before so we're married we had a wedding you were pissed yeah i was pissed yeah it was good it was really good me and christina though had a near-death experience do you know about this oh my god you told me many times spoke about at the wedding but we actually did it was a rotated story that basically we were tell us again we were sat at the bottom of some steps

by the way someone posted a picture on instagram at the bottom of those fucking steps the other day and i was like yeah because we'd sat there smoking yeah we were sat at the bottom of some spanish steps i think it's like and then this piece of metal missed my head by one centimeter so it was you know those trolleys that you carry drinks like crates on and they're like really heavy so they're like a pulley thing yeah so they were carrying like crates of drinks up these steps and then all of a sudden this trolley just fell from the top of the steps all the way down as she was sat there i got up i got up and like i've never moved so fast in my life it was all like slow motion yeah and we're like oh and if i'd have been like literally about that

much that way my head would have got i would have been so pissed off i would have been i would have ruined your whole wedding you wouldn't have felt would you have still got married if i'd have died yeah no you wouldn't lauren lauren yes i think that's very not demure i would have put your i would have rolled your head to the bottom of the steps and shut the door and pretended it didn't happen and i was like anyway drinks anyone any so basically she looked stunning it was an amazing day she's written a blog on patreon all about it so um no did anyone do anything really weird like at the like did anyone get told off so there was there was bits of drums nothing mega i mean everyone was so pissed it was amazing because

everyone got there like three days before the wedding so everyone i highly recommend done it twice now and abroad really recommend it because you get there like normally you go to a wedding you don't really know half the people there so you get there and it takes a while for everyone to bond whereas when you do a wedding like that we'd had like three days together before the actual wedding so everyone had been on a few meals we've been on nights out everyone had bonded like my family that hadn't met some of his and his friends were all like besties because everyone makes besties on holidays don't they um so everyone was in like a really good space drama so first of all the night before our wedding when i was happily in the room with the two girls getting ourselves

ready with our face masks james was in magaluf getting his mate's name tattooed on his arse i don't understand why he did that nobody understands why i mean and he kept going to me do you think she's pissed off and i was like no but it's very strange i didn't care really so i'm there we've got this group chat and i'm there with the girls with our little you know getting all ready for the wedding and he's out with everyone everyone went out obviously i couldn't because i thought i can't be what was the name again scott so he's got scott on his arse cheek um so yeah it's not good i don't give a fuck like what i've got listen if i'm going to be judging bad tattoos but i didn't read it properly and i just thought that he'd got lauren put on there obviously and then when i saw

it was scott i was like but why but why because four of them all went in which is just such a blokey english thing to do and it's the kind of thing that i'd do oh my god i would have done it If we'd have gone in, I'd have got ash on my arse cheek. If I was pissed, absolutely no bother. So I'm there and I'm like looking at my chat and I'm like, oh, he's fucking steaming. Fuck's sake, next thing he's in a tattoo place. And I'm just like, how about you go to bed?

And everyone thought I was fuming, but I actually gave zero fucks. No, I knew that was a joke. I gave zero fucks. So anyway, yeah, he got that on his arse. I saw it the other day actually. And I thought, oh yeah. And then he was fine though.

He wasn't hungover. And then the next day, the other drama was one of the little ones walked into a glass door at the morning of the wedding she's fine we're all good you couldn't actually see the mark on it you couldn't see it so literally we went down for breakfast and you know those like big glass doors that they have oh my god you were in the same hotel as me weren't you yes were you there when a seagull attacked everyone at breakfast we were like severely hung over sat at the table and then we just heard all these plates smashing and this massive seagull and it flown it was all quite open planning yeah and everyone was like ah and there's

the seagull flying around no i wasn't there then um but yeah she just as we're walking in numb nuts walked into a bloody glass it happens it happens bang and i know she was amazing she was fine but yeah she had a big egg and i thought oh not on the wedding day but it went down bit of makeup sorted it out um what else was there oh my god there was a massive drama at the end of the night absolutely huge huge drama um one of our guests slipped no it was ambulance the lot have i not told you you've not told us have i not told you no i'm not gonna say who just because i don't want her to feel embarrassed or anything it was very hazardous has a venue do you remember when stacy fell over stacy fell over the whole time yeah no but it was that's why i knew it was going

to be like that so more kitten heels hazardous so basically um it got to i think we were finishing at one it was about 12 o'clock and i was dancing away next thing i heard like a commotion i looked to the side and saw a pair of legs on like someone goners james runs over thank god he'd done his first aid because the person had slipped smashed her entire face onto the floor completely unconscious james had to put his hand in her mouth and do the whole so she wasn't fitting pull a tongue up the whole lot why was she having a fit yeah the whole he had to do everything on the floor his dad was there um everyone was on the floor and he she was unconscious for quite a while we had to ring an ambulance and we had to the whole thing stopped what number did you call i don't know i didn't

ring it i guess one of the staff did um and then she kind of came around a little bit and then went again she had chipped all the front teeth fully bruised like really really awful we had to stop the whole wedding it was finished so we finished at like half 12 i forgot to tell you why am i like this i just forgot i did not know that yeah so then the lights had to go on everything stopped i've been on the phone to you i forgot is she okay now she's all right now really shook up had to go to a dentist had to her teeth were all mangled really really horrific okay they're fine now but she was really upset um she was really worried that she'd spoil the wedding but she absolutely didn't it was like half 12 we were going to be stopping lights on ambulance i had to ring the

coach to get them to come earlier to take everyone home like it was done lights on she was on the floor ambulance the lot can you imagine i totally forgot that happened um so that wasn't ideal but she's fine and we're fine and she didn't anything else um takeaways any other takeaways no it was amazing i haven't had any kind of come down like people have a come down after don't they like everyone kept messaging me saying are you feeling all right do you feel like a come down not at all i enjoyed every second of it dead grateful for it and i was like right i'm done now i'm ready to move that was amazing let's move on don't regret any a penny spent don't regret it because obviously afterwards you look at it did you spend a lot on it it felt like you did

yeah it was expensive it was i actually don't exactly know more than 30 yes more than 40 yes fucking hell you could have got facelift i know i could have got two i could have got facelift and arson plan well if you'd have gone taking i know it was expensive but do you know when people you look back and it's just for one day i don't regret it i don't regret a second of we had the most unreal time we've just smiled ever since and been like what a fucking how lovely and james cried all day he did all day and he cried all day the next day as well now this year there was a lot of chat about major surgery as always ashley had her facelift so let's listen back to when we heard all about it anyway come on then i had a facelift ashley's had a facelift it wasn't

just a facelift i had a full face and neck lift under eye fat transfer and a lip lift sounds a lot doesn't it it was a lot i think everyone guessed the lip lift yeah straight away yeah it's settled a bit more now i couldn't move it no and i think as well it's right in the center of your face yeah but i don't think anyone's guessed that the face no no because i wouldn't have had a clue no um i i literally wouldn't have thought of it but one thing first thing that everyone's gonna say a lot of people will say what the fuck you're 34 yeah why the fuck are you having a facelift at 34 answer me that right okay so lauren knows i've wanted this for about three years now yes for three years i've been saying you don't need it

but again yeah i get it now um and i had three kids very close together weight gain weight loss weight gain weight loss weight gain weight loss that has an effect on your face but not only that it has an effect on your face when you've got filler in there if you're a water retentiony person like me then water sticks to hyaluronic acid so your face looks like big from the minute i'm pregnant i've been having filler for years products that i might not have known maybe at the beginning yeah um and i've been having a few different radio frequency treatments which i personally think look amazing at the beginning but then sometimes i'm like oh yeah this is a bit stretchier yeah i don't know i just think i'd messed with my face yes i really had for for a

long time and then i started to feel like oh this is just only gonna go one way and it's pumping and eventually into my face yeah so i tried doing the no filler for a bit and treatments and yet it looked amazing my skin was amazing but it was this area here the jowl so what she's pointing to now is that jowly area so it's around your jawline isn't it under your chin and i've always had that even from like my 20s it's just your face isn't it yeah exactly so i went for a consultation with someone who is very very famous and that was about three years ago and he said absolutely not i'm not doing it and then every year i would send him a picture of my face please please please please no no no no no and then he got a picture off me and he went yeah i think you're ready now

so i was like great let's get it booked in prices start from 60 000 pounds 60 000 pounds so i was like absolutely not 60,000 it's our fucking house no no no but when you get it all in so if i'd have had the lip the under eye that and stayed over 100 grand i think about 100 yeah but this person is the best yeah yeah and if you've got that it's all relative so someone that we know had theirs done by this person and she may have been considered young to have hers done by this person it's amazing and looks amazing beautiful really natural doesn't she so i messaged her and i was like help babe it's now this much and she's like jesus because the three years ago i think it was about 25 000 and like that i could stomach but not not that um because all my money that i've

put away over the years is my surgery yeah so anyway she said there is this other guy and he is going to be the next big one yeah and yeah i went to see him and he was like i'm not sure wait until you've lost all your baby weight i had to book it really far ahead because he's so full and but i just put a deposit down on the date he only does one full shabanga day because it took him nine hours nearly yeah nine hours nearly so then you can start to understand the price a little bit more oh my god absolutely then the anaesthetist the hospital all the staff nine hours you can start to understand how much would you want for a day like why it's getting expensive to to change someone's face it's a big thing like yeah it starts to make more sense exactly so um

i went to see him and then he was like do you know what yeah i think we can do it and then yeah we did it and i'm really happy with it it looks fucking incredible i'm only on week four and a half it's amazing so it will settle a bit more but i don't feel like it needs to a bit swollen here and my lip still i can't move properly yeah um but yeah i'm really happy i would say the lip lift has been more noticeable and required a little bit of getting used to yeah if you hadn't had the lip i don't think anyone no would have known anything you're just looking really well and really fresh i can't it didn't hurt you looked bad oh no i'm gonna post these pictures on patreon because trigger warning and don't put all of them on there no i'm not going to put the

ones of me in the surgery i don't think you should put the straight afters on really i think that some haters will get hold i just don't think you should do that okay i'll let you decide on that i'm just looking after you um you looked horrific after and i thought what the fuck it was like so they put in this net on my you look like jackie stallone yeah i did it hey it's me jackie it was that it wasn't christina's not used to it either is she no i was away um and all of us and i forgot that you i didn't know what because i traveled and i didn't know what day you were having it and all of a sudden you sent these pictures and one of them frightening i was not ready for and i was like because she sent us ones on the table yeah and i was like oh my god like yeah a mid-facel

i think it's especially because i know you as well and it's not nice it's upsetting yeah it's not nice oh i didn't mind looking at any of them of me because i would have liked when it's your friend really like oh god put her face back on really yeah that's my friend's cheek i think i would have liked a little bit of a warning i'm sorry trigger warning i mean i'm used to it but after the incisions were very stably looking and her face was so stretched and so swollen yeah you looked scary frightening yeah but it went down so fast so fast yeah i think we recorded like day 10 it went down so fast and i think if you're gonna do something like that guys hide well follow what i did to recover the way you recovered if i was gonna do it i would

yeah it's expensive because you have to warrant your massages with the right person obviously then you have to warrant in like i've got a dermalux at home i went on that i did a really high protein diet i did a liquid diet for three days afterwards so it wasn't moving my lip at all when i was eating i went on the hyperbaric oxygen chamber which if guys if you have any healing issues after a surgery please look into that yeah i make sure i heal 70 faster um and then i've been going on cryotherapy been having direct cryo to the area been putting exosomes and stem cells on the scars and it's worked which honestly it's recovered so well and i have to be honest like i at first like probably everyone was like fuck off if you're not having a face this is ridiculous

you've gone too far and then and there i am in disneyland do you think you'll do mine we've had loads of amazing guests on this year to name a few we had tanya bardsey scott thomas luke hamnet our amazing sophia are very knowledgeable kate lots and lots the list goes on go back and have a little listen to those special guest episodes but someone that gave us some unbelievable makeup tips and actually one of our most watched tiktoks was beauty writer sally hughes right okay you've lost your makeup bag okay what are you buying first uh okay so the nature of my job is i'm always swapping products it's quite hard for me to stick to things long term we find that hard but there are some things that i go through over and over and

over again so uh charlotte tilbury hollywood flawless filter i would buy immediately i wear 2.5 i would wear that get that immediately um i would have to immediately buy a nude lipstick and a red lipstick and two matching lip liners because i would never go out without my lips sorted and ideally i would always like a red with me in case i get invited to something in the evening and i'm underdressed yeah you throw on a red levels it up so i would do that and i would probably get mac mac lady danger for the red and then what would i get for the nude god so many different ones i could choose so many different ones nice that thanks it's mac is night a nice nude is a great nude and see she had lots lots of nudes i could wear velvet teddy's

another good one lots of great ones and then a subculture lip liner oh i've not had that for ages I've never tried it's really nice it's like a dirty pink I'm gonna order it on the train home yeah it's an amazing lip liner I have probably been through 25 of them in my life we wear boldly bare so boldly bare pulls a bit red for me it's a bit of a red nude on me but subculture is like a dirty pink and I think I've easily gone through 25 if not 40 of them so you're a big you like a lip? I like a lip. I'm interested primarily in skin and lip. Okay. Have you ever had lip blush? No. I ask that because I used to do that as a job. Oh, did you? Yeah, as a practitioner. Honestly, it's life changing. If you get it done properly and right, it is a game changer.

Tell me why. Because you wake up, if you go for a colour that's sort of similar to your lip tone, but a little bit better, fills out the edges, you wake up and you've got the base but you can choose a base that's really similar to your lip color a little bit better so you can still change the color throughout the day but it's there yeah it is the best honest i don't do it anymore but it is a game changer for me slightly put me off about that because look i'm up for anything i certainly haven't got a problem with the treatment what's always put me off about that is i'm never quite keen on the color i see when i see photographs of people with them and i always worry that they'll be like a bit blurry around the lip line so you never go over the lip

line right that's why and it depends where you go but i just thought of it then with you saying honestly you should look into isn't it if you get it done properly and they don't go outside your lip line which they shouldn't it just fades naturally doesn't it but have a look at a good i'll tell you some good people to go to because i'm always interested in what people are doing but you know what and i think this is just a me thing people say to me all the time things like can you recommend a lipstick that lasts all day and i'm always like what's wrong with working on your lipstick halfway through the day like i enjoy yeah going to the bathroom taking a second just even at a restaurant table i just like enjoy a reset yeah i'm happy to get a concealer brush

out halfway through the day and fluff out my you know it's fine i want to ask all of these tips so right makeup bag we we know what lip we're doing eyes um so eyes because yours look gorgeous they look like a teddy shrimp like a brownie so this is um a veve i want love veve i notice you have the underglow it's gorgeous this is a veve i want in mahogany i really like those i would Definitely, without a doubt, buy a stick, not a powder. I've not used it. Aren't the Victoria Beckham ones meant to be quite nice? They're fantastic.

The best ones are the Bobbi Brown ones. I mean, she invented them, really. So the Bobbi Brown ones, the Veve ones, Laura Mercier makes them, Victoria Beckham makes them. They're all excellent. But the thing about a stick is it's so easy. You just scribble it on, buff it out with a clean brush, and people think you've made an effort when you haven't really.

Oh, wow. So I would do that. I would get a stick. I would get some kind of brow gel, which would probably be Benefit. You love the Benefit Brow Wax. Do you know what I use? The old Zing.

Do you remember the palette? Yes, the Brow Zing. I had to get one from eBay because the palette's changed and I'm so upset. So I had to get one and it was ridiculously expensive from eBay. But yeah, I agree.

It's a brand I don't really use much, but their brow products are excellent. Yeah, I agree. And then powder-wise, are we powdering or not? I'm very pro powder. So people constantly say, oh, powder's so aging. It's absolutely not. It's just about finding the right powder. Now, the last thing my face would ever want is like a baking sort of powder, like a super matte powder. But a light, light reflecting powder is gorgeous. So

I'm obsessed with the new Hourglass one. It's extraordinary. I've heard that it's stunning. so good um but if i was in in answer to your question i'm at an airport i just have to replace everything i would get skin finish natural from mac in light plus which is one of the all-time great powders people know them for studio fix yeah but skin finish natural is a mineral baked powder and it is just matte enough it's really light um it's an absolutely beautiful powder but i'm a big believer in powder i actually think shiny chin shiny nose is quite aging yeah yeah um but i don't want it on my cheeks no and then what are we doing with concealer wise

i mean gotta have a concealer i really love the natasha denona concealer my favorite i love that it's fantastic i only recently discovered it yeah it's amazing i like that it's got like nice neutral shades it's got a full coverage it's fantastic it's not matte and dry yeah i think that's a great concealer i think i've probably used that more than any other concealer in the past year uh that's fantastic little under eye brightener i like the beauty pie one a lot and then i would have to have cheek yes and i would have a cream blush so i really love the westman atelier ones we love westman yeah so she does one it called and it's a stick have you tried Mimi. So Mimi, you can't get in any of the Westman Atelier stockists except Westman Atelier

herself. So you have to go to the website. You have to go to the website. It's called Mimi. And for me, it was the shade that was missing. I always found them too pink, too peach. I wanted something more neutral and she's introduced Mimi and it's a beige and it's perfect. It's a perfect nude so i would have that i love that so i've got that shade stick i don't they can see it i don't know what to do with it well are you a contourer well or are you a bronzer person i would like to try i try to contour because it's the kind of contour color you've got good cheekbones though it's not like an orangey color it's more like a shadow so you would contour i'm right and I say that, but I have no, you should, I wish I was dubbing it around.

What do you do with that? The thing about a contour versus a bronzer. So a bronzer is mimicking where the sun hits. Well, the sun doesn't hit in the recesses. Yeah. Yeah. Sun doesn't hit in the recesses. It hits on the bits that poke out where you project, where your face projects.

So your cheeks, your forehead, your chin, the bits that poke out go brown. but actually a contour mimics shadow shadow which exists in the recess that's why it's a great color exactly so a contour wants to be a cold they're a bit gray aren't they a gray mousy brown or a gray chocolate a bitter chocolate brown depending on your skin tone so it wants a chilly base because shadow has a cold face but bronzer has a warm base okay so when i see people using them interchangeably it doesn't make sense to me because one they're pretending to be two completely different things shadow does not exist on your cheekbones and what would you apply it with uh so you kind of with the one you're talking about the westman atelier which is a solid stick

you just draw it on in the recesses and i prefer contour i'm not much of a contourer to be honest i mainly can't be asked but um you want it basically kind of adjacent to the middle of your ear in the dent under your cheekbones and you just want it quite near the side of your face Don't come too far into the face and then blend it towards, down that diagonal line, towards your mouth. But stop a good kind of inch before your mouth. Well, thank you. Now I've got the product and now I know how to use it. Mascara is the one that we've missed out. Can I tell you about an absolutely brilliant mascara that's just made?

Yes, please. The Elle Flash Extender, seven quid, so good. Oh, really? All this stuff is being ordered. So good. and of course it wouldn't be nick tuck without sex sex and lots of sex baby let's talk about sex baby we've had a dm from one of you and you want to know how to be good in bed lauren read it out i'm not a hint at the message i'm a hint at thinking about how to be good in bed

girls help i think i'm bad in bed and i need some tips i wonder what's allowed us to think of this i'm in my early 30s i've been single for a good few years and i've only had the odd situation shit with guys where we usually only sleep together once and that's it it's a one night stand darling uh a recent one that's not a situation ship a recent one i was giving the guy head and he sorry and he told me to stop because it said it was like a cheese grater oh no so first thing teeth are a no yeah um i can tell you that and afterwards when we had sex he just didn't seem into it nor was i to be fair safe to say there'll be no more dates how do you ever feel like you're shit in bed can i improve right okay so blow jobs uh a totally separate

thing that i think maybe we should do um an episode on that we bought that book the good blow job guide didn't we i don't know what we took away from it i think i think i'm good at blow jobs i mean i've not had any complaints like that same and i mean james says i am but yeah yeah when i don't want to shag uh i'll give you a blowy um james says i'm very good at it but he would wouldn't he he's not gonna say i'm shit he wants more of them best i've ever had oh yes heard that one before so i think with the blowjobs that's like a totally separate thing so maybe comment below with your blowjob tips yeah maybe we get some blowjob tips yeah and we put them all together i think that that's a whole separate thing we're talking about the set i think the sex

is a different like you say yeah job is actually a technique yeah yeah it is and it's not really right it's a technique and wanking is a whole separate whereas i think the sex depends on a lot of different factors yeah so first of all the if the chemistry if you'd already said that about the cheese grater you were probably already feeling pretty shit about yourself and nervous yeah the main thing and we say it a lot and i think you hear it a lot is confidence in the bedroom men don't care about your belly about your saggy tits or about your whatever you're worried about your flaps your dangly flaps your brown butthole they actually don't care as long as you are showing it off and not giving a shit what from my experience with my male friends the

worst thing is having sex with a girl that is uncomfortable like arch that back honey i can't i can't do that but that is uncomfortable and that is trying to hide areas and trying to and like it's you you give body language if you turn the light that is swinging around not ask what she looks like bend over show me the butthole they want to see the gods yeah yeah they're dirty they want to see the gods um so i think having that confidence and taking control and pretending that you know what you're doing pretend because then they think you do and then you play i think you should play a character that's always my answer if you're ever nervous about something play a character and like tell yourself you're that character so when you get in there you are

a confident sexy woman and you are great in bed and then just go wild go wild now i saw this tiktok and it's like one of the most viewed tiktoks about how to be good in bed because we were we had a chat about this and we were like what is being good in bed and you know is there any like specific things like yeah do you remember that fucking magazine that used to have position of the week and if they were like random cosmo maybe my personal opinion is that it's not about the position like why would you get yourself into an incredibly uncomfortable position you're thinking the whole time you're like ah and then when your brain's going you're disconnected from the vagina it's like trying to do like a reform of pilates thing like you can't think about everything at

once do you think you're good in bed yeah i think i am i think there've been times when i've not been good in bed the will of the occasion can you just not make this into a clip please but do you i don't know i don't know if you ever have you know the fart that haunts you oh fanny farts no the shag that haunts you where you just know it wasn't and you weren't like what what did you do were you pissed or something yeah there's been a there's been a flashback that's the next day there's been occasions where i haven't been sober um and then the next day i thought i think that's a good point to make as well like don't do it like you need to be in the room yeah but at the same time a bit of a drink does loosen you but blackout does not so there's been an occasion

and there's a particular oh no i think i need to be careful here um yeah there's just times that i've looked back and thought oh i don't think i performed well there and it haunts you that shit haunts you because you don't want someone going around saying that you didn't perform well absolutely not a friend of mine um a girl that i know split up with a boyfriend over and done with but the last shag they had wasn't that great and that's how they remember you she couldn't so she shagged him again good and i bet she fucking i said why did you go back she went oh i'm not interested she said i just needed that last shag to be the dirtiest that turned up in a mac the lot yeah absolutely smashed him in and then she said that's what he'll remember you don't do the whole

underwear thing like i do i don't do that at all i'll be honest i do none of that right i'm gonna um for your wedding present buy you an underwear set that you've got to wear for james and she's got to feed back he just won't care can i say something he just wants to see my fanny yeah can i say something controversial people may frown upon me on this i don't think it's to do with the i don't think it's down to the woman i think in a way you're good you're only as good as the man yes 100 because they're the ones that can instruct you yeah and if you're feeling it you are so right christina if you're feeling it and you're feeling that chemistry and you're coming out yeah and they're into you because you're not gonna go to him like yes bend over

no you know what i mean you don't want to go in there like a fake porn star like oh look at me anyone can do that yeah if the man is he's saying dirty things and he's up for it and he's saying your fucking body looks amazing then you're like oh yeah it's true it's true yeah and and exactly so you know what man it's your fault if we're so anyway anyway it's your fault back to back to blaming men so this lady on tiktok she's only got three tips on how to be good in bed three tell me perfect that's all i can remember that and this video has had like millions of views 511 000 lights and 76 000 people have saved this for later right number one avoid rushing at all costs i agree like let's slow it down what does she mean because i think i i watched this

and i think she means when when she says avoid rushing she means the build-up yes yeah you have to make them chase you well no not that it's more when you're you know kissing and yeah yeah yeah so she's saying more foreplay well women need foreplay which i don't think men understand all the time so take that take it we've all been there where you're like whoa okay um yeah okay so the build-up and the foreplay is important be enthusiastic when it feels good because then you're giving them a guide yeah but right i'll be honest there have been times where i had to be enthusiastic throughout the whole thing absolutely when it didn't feel good but i also didn't want them to think it wasn't good and talk about that at the end because we need to talk about faking

orgasms and how actually we're ruining it for ourselves ask them what they want listen and do it again and again and again well that's it then i'm going to be wanking james off for about a year what's your another one another one another one you can have a work you can have a work and you can have a work well one of my friends um we were just talking this morning i've just had a phone call with her on the way to work and she was like you know what have you done this weekend went bowling with the kids what have you done i had sex seven times in one night my friend does stuff like that seven all night no she has no reason to he came seven times seven ejaculations in one night was there a gap between ejaculations i assume well i can find out more information well right

okay overnight let's say an overnight is 10 hours that means we're talking and let's say a sex lasts 20 minutes so she's probably only getting a 40 minute to 50 minute rest between each one she said she's knackered i bet her vagina is inside out she's knackered she will be needing the natural yogurt do you think men can just keep because have you ever heard of the face i've never tried it myself have you heard of the face spitting the phrase spitting feathers yeah so it means that thirsty doesn't it yeah and also mean what does that mean not very much so we're running out of the so like when he comes like really splitting feathers yeah um also men when they ejaculate release a lot of zinc which makes them feel really really bad like bad as in like low depleted yeah

so why would you do it seven times seven times is she on contraception i don't know pregnancy it's giving pregnant was every ejaculation inside or was the several body i've not i didn't because i bet you're covered in the stuff yeah i'd like to know more yeah and i'd like to know is it normal that a guy can go that many times that to me doesn't sound normal no and i wouldn't want to entertain that either that sounds like an awful night to me yeah that sounds like my idea of hell like let's do it let's do it early on early on in the night so i've done it and we can watch telly then without me thinking it's coming and we can relax fully let's like let's do it early so that i can fart i can let my farts out because obviously if you

know you're about to do it you're a bit more ladylike than a few hours before so let's get it done and then i can sit and watch telly with my ice cream and not feel like i'm gonna have to have sex soon imagine the shaving rash oh she's gonna have a vagina like a chicken like inside out chicken chicken so i am always browsing our good old love honey all that and summers what have you things and i always go on like best sellers yeah candy thongs who the fuck has ever used a candy thong and my question and the candy bra and my question is people must use candy thongs and candy bras lauren my question is what are you meant to do them is they take ages to like your veneers wouldn't do well with the candy like and then what do you do

when you get to the bum bit it's been in someone's bottom like that's like i don't even like candy and it's like the worst kind of candy as well who's wearing them like we need to know who's wearing candy I know I've worn one I have what the fuck

I have worn one like having said all that have you worn one having said all that I have worn one mine was when I was about 18 yeah about 17 and what did you do

my boyfriend bought it for me at the time i did i was like well okay it's just what you did when you were young when you thought you were raunchy like get my candy thong you just it's made you feel grown up and sexy you actually wore a candy thong yeah that is thrush in a like that is you are asking for thrush if you do that what and then i probably took it off after and i probably sat eating the bomb bit i probably thought right with the hand over oh i've got that in the drawer two for Pran and all of my candy thong but realise why it's on with reet

and then she will have been having a fag, candy thong you can go do sweet tooth where can they go in your side drawer oh my candy thong, I've got to write sweet tooth this bit's a bit fruity candy thong

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