Nip Tuck - Our Mums are on the Podcast!

Episode Date: March 26, 2025

Guys our Mums are on the podcast - FINALLY!Bev and Liz spill all - what they think of our past relationships, our crazy teenage stories and what Liz thought too the infamous metal detector moment. If you want BONUS episodes each week you can subscribe on Apple or sign up to our Patreon - patreon.com/niptuckpod Get in touch with the show - EMAIL - [e-mail] WHATSAPP - 07418 610097INSTAGRAM/TIKTOK - @niptuckpod Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

guys welcome to a very special episode of nip tuck not giving a fuck oh really do you have to swear guys oh my goodness in case you wondered who that voice was telling me off our mums are on the podcast today we have how long have we threatened that we're going to do this this has been like three years in the making and we finally got them here so welcome to Beverly and Liz. Bev and Liz. Yeah. How are you feeling guys? Slightly scared. Yeah when when Lauren, Lauren didn't actually ask me she just said we're going to do it this year and this is the date so put it in your diary and so I've spent a few days oh have you been anxious no not anxious just slightly out of my comfort zone yeah yeah i get

that yeah we don't like anything we don't like change anyway no but don't be nervous we're gonna have like just a really really nice chat today we're all friends in here at the minute guys yeah no one's fallen out yet not yet um so yeah we just thought we'd get our mums on as like a special mother's day edition and we speak about family a lot on the podcast we thought it would be nice to yeah to let let you into that side of us you know what we were like people often ask what were we like as kids that type of thing and people often it's a we've got an unusual job haven't we we do so it's good to talk to our mums about how they find it so the podcast this has grown massively and it's now like our full-time job at first i bet you two were like what are

they doing now what is this what is this so we want to ask both of you you go first liz what did you think when we started the podcast what did i think um i probably thought it was a good idea real sound idea but i just thought it'd be like a little hobby yeah yeah you know we thought as well didn't we we thought yeah just but which is what else can you do when you start something you have to just see how it goes and we listen to you listen to one and never anymore uh yes i've got to admit that i listened to the first one and i thought oh bloody hell she wasn't brought up to swear like that and thought this isn't my demographic this is aimed at a different age group all together so i will bow out of this experience after one i have to say if you listen

to our first ever one compared to now we they are we do we do still swear a lot but i do think a lot of that was nerves and a lot of it was panic and the result i think now we have matured a lot more within the podcast i still don't wouldn't suggest you listen well we have got a uh a listener that listens every single week i am a fan yeah i love it it makes me giggle what did you think mum oh I was just I was amazed that you were going to go forth and do something so exciting I really really felt very proud of you both of you and you just make me giggle it just has me in stitches every week and if dad comes in whilst whilst I'm listening to you get that off do not listen to that it's not for that I don't know I prefer you not listening because you can't

pick and choose which episode either and sometimes you just i i don't you don't need to hear no some of that no and i think sometimes uh i'll go into the gym or wherever congregate and say oh guess what happened to me you know when i fell over in the back garden or farted or something no i wasn't going to say that but um and then kettlebell swing trim yeah the kettlebells i remember that wasn't the pilates one was worse than that but um and whoever i'm talking to will say oh i already know how and they'll say oh lauren talked about it on the podcast and i think oh my lord what next yeah you don't want to know so that's i'm kind of curious but not enough to listen right so we're going to do like an introduction so you can recognize who voice is whose so liz is lauren's

mum say hi i'm hi i'm lauren's mum beverly is my mum hi i'm ashley's mum there we go me and mum were talking about this in the car weren't we and we were saying that you have met Bev once and it was when I don't remember by the way Lauren mum hates it if you call her Bev I know but I'm gonna do that anyway just like I call um Christina Chris when she goes so tell when you first met her you said it was when you were dropping me off to go to south south to Cape Town to Cape Town and I don't remember that I didn't remember but your mum reminded me did you do an airport run for us I I can't remember. You must have done it.

I don't think I would. Because our house is quite near the airport. Yeah, we dropped you off with your case. I bet you came to our house and then Dad either took you or you would have got a cab. Or it was a weird flight time. I can't remember. So that was when, and this is how many years back is that now?

We were trying to think that, weren't we? I think you were in your early 20s. Yeah, I think 12 years ago. I think about 12 years ago. You were in a competition. Yeah, yeah. You did really well. So that's when you met.

and then we were also talking about um just to kind of go back to like if you think about it me and ashley have been friends for 12 years 12 years probably so even though we might not see the mums all the time they've been involved in our lives and heard about each other and what would be nuts and we always see each other like family parties and stuff don't we but we were also talking about ashley when she got her first ever boob job yes i stayed at your house you did stayed at my house the night before you did

oh yeah because you didn't want to tell dad well told dad and he sent me that text message the night before

that made me cry it was like this long well he thought you were beautiful as you were right okay it's a man thing

you know he shouldn't have told him he wouldn't have noticed it wouldn't have been one of these nights it would have been no fucking weird if he did

yeah nice pair when I had my nose done my dad didn't notice for about a year really that's the best way

no he didn't and I think I got drunk or something and told him and he was like and I was like done now whatever

yeah that's the best way to do it isn't it I stayed over at Lauren's house because she was near the hospital and Liz and Lauren kindly looked after me and Liz made me one of the best sandwiches

oh god my mum is very the famous tuna sandwich tuna was yeah and she made me a little pat of lunch with your name on probably

it wasn't going to be for anyone else my friends always always say a Liz Pat lunch like we've been on holiday before haven't we with friends and when me mum's because mum just comes everywhere and we've been on holiday

and she's made us Pat lunches and we have a sticker with our name on it. It was that much in it you all used to have to take a carrier carrier bag off it. Ashley stopped the night before and we remember didn't we mum that we actually had a Chinese the night before for and then off we went to get her a new pair

of boobs. And when we were in the car we were going honk the horn if you're getting new boobs oh my word like what 23 or something like that so we oh gosh we go way back don't we but i think we should start with younger years yeah so beverly um bevo bevo that's what she's in bevo so tell us what ashley was like as a child oh she was adorable she was she was much wanted i actually didn't i was told when um i was younger that i would struggle having children so when she came along she was a huge surprise and it was i feel quite emotional um she was just a gift oh

are you gonna cry about me not really so was she has she always been the ashley we know now yes absolutely as my mum said years ago i think ashley should be in the staff room not the playground really just think she yeah she's just in charge of everything i have put you through it though mum haven't i at times you have but i've had to go and giggle in the pantry at some of the escapades you've got into. Can you remember when I first swore? Yes

Oh my word. I said shit didn't I You washed my mouth out with soap It's rightly so And I think you heard grandma say it which is even worse And mum went, right time for bed, it was like Saturday night and I used to love watching

Casualty and I was like No, shit and my mum and dad just turned around and they were like and I got my mouth washed out with soap and it really clearly worked yes

it might have worked for a time and what was she like at school and growing up, was she well behaved when did she become challenging when did she become naughty she was she really enjoyed school

she enjoyed primary school, really enjoyed it and enjoyed all the performances at school she enjoyed doing art at school she wasn't brilliant at maths but she enjoyed everything else about school and I was reading her reports earlier and they made me giggle so much because they were just that she was positive and she was friendly and she was this that and the other and so she was obviously well liked at school and she loved school not secondary until yeah until she went to secondary school that's what she didn't like the lunches at school I had to make her pack lunches yeah were they as good as mine they were very very good but I think you have spoiled me though mum well I got told by your

grandma that I'd spoiled you I'd spoiled dad and I'd spoiled Francesca well that's what mums are there for us yeah absolutely and do you think what what was she like because i have seen her relationship with francesca her younger sister and they are very different aren't they they're very different completely different personalities what was she like to frankie when they were kids um she tortured her basically that's why i asked the question because i already know she was horrible yeah i mean as i said i i was told that i would struggle having children i had Ashley and then 22 months later I had Francesca I was like whoa what's happening here yeah it was it was wonderful having the girls and I really enjoyed having them and I was I was at home a lot

with them I worked my job around the children so Anthony was away a lot so as I know your dad was away a lot wasn't he so we were just we were just we were the three musketeers you know we just we just went everywhere together and did everything together and it was great we had a lovely time so when did things deteriorate so obviously she went to high school didn't like it that much I think the first year of high school

she was quite excited about going, she loved the uniform, she liked the pockets in the blazer she used to store all sorts of rubbish in all her pockets do you remember, lip balms you got told off for the lip balms and then I think

she felt that things went wrong because they forced her to do certain things and try to change her personality yeah um and to conform was very difficult and then she got glandular fever when she was uh doing her mock exams and she was very ill really really poorly with her and they had no um understanding or empathy and that really upset Ashley yeah so it was like only the academic side that they were interested in and the rest wasn't yeah yeah yeah the the performance you didn't even really want to do drama anymore you didn't want to do yeah you really didn't like it got kicked out of there well i didn't know you got kicked out i actually

thought that you'd chosen not to go there mom what child yeah i thought you just decided to i remember you being upset because you hadn't the last day of school i think you were you were allowed i wasn't allowed to go you were allowed to have a croissant at breakfast and then they sent me home and you didn't have the croissant and they sent you home and i was really upset about it and you got home and i was sat on the doorstep yes and then you went to um you went to college at 16 which we we'd already been to look at prior so you were you know you were you were excited about going there and that was that was the making of you going to college going to a completely different environment meeting people who weren't from our village who didn't you know

know ashley or anything and that you really blossomed there yeah but sadly you didn't blossom at senior school which was upsetting i was very challenging right liz tell us about the birth of lauren the birth of lauren well i've already right on you're quiet now liz were you in the same room then just to be a different no just certain bits of it that you've told me that i've repeated that i remember tell us about the birth and the way i came out and how they got how they knew i could come out and oh well because i have big feet that's really awful those boots will make anybody's feet look large um yeah we went to the hospital

and it sort of went downhill from there and you know the cervix not expands what's the word dilates and then it decided it would contract so i was there a long time lots of heaving and hoeing and unpleasantness and then they said um we're gonna have to the baby's breach oh fancy that so we can do vaginal delivery we'll have to give you an epidural but we need to just have a look at your feet to see what's happening because that determines your hip your pelvic yeah so um so that's what happened and you came out funny uh you came out bum first and remember your dad saying, oh, you wanted a girl, and by that time I just said, oh, shut the fuck up!

Because I was beyond everything by then. Because you had me quite later on, didn't you? Yeah. How old were you? 35. Very old. I would be. Yeah, but you were second.

Yeah. Because your dad already had two teenage boys, and he said I wanted a baby and he said he wasn't bothered because he already had two children and so it happened you mean that's very similar

to I was where he wasn't bothered so obviously we made it happen made sure it happened made sure it happened school what was she like at school well primary like you actually enjoy primary used to do a lot

of reading in fact my friend said oh she always had her nose in a book i used to think she was going to make something of us yeah christine christine at any opportunity says i've known her for years honestly when she was younger i thought she was going to be a genius it goes quiet um then she got into the local grammar school and i thought oh thank goodness for that well i went to grammar school i think Yeah, keep you in, you know, no messing around. She used to come home and say, oh, I'm in the wrong school. And I'd say, no, you're not, you're in the right school.

Because, but it was a bit, sounds similar to yours, it was good academically. Yeah, not. But the pastoral side wasn't there. And also they weren't that interested if you didn't want to stay on for A-levels. No. And obviously you, well, you.

You made your mind up. Yeah, yeah. I think high school was all right till about year nine and then I hated it and in the actually if you remember in my mock exams I was off with depression yeah you were oh and your two two I had a few your two two was really really good I've got to say she came your former teacher well whatever yeah and that's when I came around and and you know taught you so that's when we first understood what depression was as opposed to being a bit being a bit fed up yeah and I remember saying to my mum who was absolutely fantastic with it because you've had your ups

and downs mentally and we understood it all and but back then it was even less no one had anxiety no one knew what that word was then whereas now you'd go she's got anxiety it'd be fine yeah it wasn't and i remember saying to you i don't know what's wrong but i'm not happy i don't want to get up in the morning and there's a black cloud there's nothing in particular and then we worked out that i had a bit of that didn't we and i actually same as she was off for most of the box and we did all right though what GCSEs did you get really really good I just didn't get mad Ashley's lied about that forever though haven't you yeah I tell you what was the funniest thing about that though and I can remember getting the Haylin Altrincham messenger and I said to you I

was reading like the exam results from people they printed yeah yeah so I said they wouldn't be allowed but listen to this I said to you the year before oh such and such a body's done well and such and such a bad student and you were like they print it they print it in the paper they print it in the paper and I could see

the panic on your face and from then on you just put your head down and you worked like a little Trojan yeah you did well was she in trouble

at school Liz or not minor irritating things really not like naughty it was because we didn't like being told because I didn't get caught I was awful

I did I did some things at high school that i just got away with oh dearly yeah we used to drink we used to get bottles of cider and i didn't oh no yeah i thought the worst of it was that you used to go to the chippy and have pie and chip well why do you think i never gained any weight because the pie and chip money was cider money right i need to ask you we've got a few stories that we've got two for each of you okay so we need to make sure that we keep it we want the highlights of these stories right your first list oh the metal detect this is what the listeners want your version of the metal

detector story with the engagement well when we spoke on the way here what there is a story that i think mum should tell that isn't it's a precursor to the metal detector yeah and it's how i got engaged oh yes with the scary the scary man I've been proud of the scary man the scary man came

you were working later he came for tea and then he brought he had a little sandwich no he didn't some of the cordon bleu creation but he

he came He got this little box out, and I thought, oh, my goodness, I think this is what may be a problem. So he opened this box, and there's this big fat diamond ring. Huge. And he said, I'm going to ask her to marry me. And I thought, oh, shit. Oh, my word.

You're going to be comforting. Are you on a game? Yes, I'm on a game. So I thought, somehow I've got to prime her before she comes home. Oh, and she was, like, on her way home. I was at work. Yeah, she was at work. I thought, I've got to tell, I've got to pre-warn her.

Now, I live in a bungalow, and so there's not many places you can hide. So I went... You were hiding, weren't you? I went in... Well, you would be from scaring. I was panicking, and I didn't want to, you know, annoy him. So I went into Lauren's bedroom, shut the door, and crawled under the bed. She rang me from under the bed.

And then rang her from under the bed. And I said, she said, you sound a bit muffled. I said, yes, that's because I'm under the bed. and you were horrified weren't you oh no mom get him out i remember you saying you think he's going to propose and i was going you can't let him no no because i knew and we all knew it wasn't going to go no no what do you want me to do i'm under the bed he's in the living room i said tell him no i can't tell him no you're going to have to stop it from happening and then do you remember i went how big's the ring it's massive i was like okay i could probably do it for a couple of months

yeah it how how on earth was it supposed to stop this it was just like a train coming there was no way of stopping it and it continued until the metal detector yeah where we had an argument for anyone who hasn't heard this and he threw the ring out of the window on a dual carriageway or i thought he had he said he had didn't he it looked like he did um and he also owed me a lot of money um so when i got home i said to my mom he's chucked the ring he's not going to give me the loan money back we need to go and find that ring yeah obviously as you do so um i thought what we need is someone with a metal detector yeah i know you are a problem solver I wonder if he's gone under Lauren's bed

so I went to the gym and for some reason Ray if you remember him I don't suppose you've got a metal detector and he said funny you should say that so he he gave us

he lent us the metal detector off we went to the dual carriageway which I might add is the arterial road from where I live to Rottenstall oh my word um and on kind of school go to work type of time so there we were on this grass verge with the metal detector going up and down and so and it was raining it was raining more than what cost didn't find it more than one person rang me later and said what were you doing with a metal detector on the side of the dual carriageway and i would say you're not going to

believe this and of course it wasn't there because he wouldn't he wouldn't have chucked it it's too expensive to show but i did wonder a bit like you probably beverly what she got me into now oh yeah yeah yeah right next one for you liz dead dog no toffee dead dog no i think that's mom you don't find that funny yeah well i'd find it funny but not as hilarious as you did because it was my dead dog no we're not yeah let's not do the bird right blame christina she wrote it up right toffee or are we not yeah no you're all right with toffee aren't we because she wasn't dead well yeah she wasn't dead um how do we do this about do you want to tell can you can you quickly tell yeah the for anyone who hasn't heard it the um in uh somebody was it you somebody no friend who was

around happened to look in the hedge as you do and saw a dead cat identical identical to toffee my cat so uh with lots of tears and whatnot i picked it up kissed it and then um went in maggots coming out of it yes it did but there you go some time went in told lauren lauren was upset we'd had the burial we had a burial in the garden put a little rose in all the rest of it um went back in the house and i went into the corner this kind of snug we had and then went shrieked at the top of my voice because there was toffee alive alive and well and so there's a great celebration except i remembered i'd kissed a dead cat maggoty cat and then all was all was good and then a few days later a fox dug it up in the garden yeah mum i've got two stories that the listeners i've told

and my version may be embellished so let's see yours the first one the ghost story oh the ghost story was that is that when the man climbed on your bed yeah and we all woke up screaming the whole family woke up screaming what did you see because you've never told me it was the weirdest thing i opened the door yeah i know but it was the weirdest thing i don't know i just woke up hearing screaming i was screaming dad was screaming you were in our bedroom and dad said he'd seen somebody sitting on the end of the bed no he said crawling on top but you said on top of you oh i don't remember that i think that might have been your embellishment it wasn't your dad crawling on to you was it so that would be screaming so who was next to you then

actually was next to me you were both white we were we did wake up screaming oh it was the weirdest thing but we did live in a very very old house i hate that right next story wow the window cleaner that was a flasher oh that was just totally embarrassing oh tell us it was awful but this is really funny actually used to go out in the car with with somebody and come back giggling oh this is the wanky man story oh is that oh yeah tell the wanky man story oh well you used to go out how many is there what area do you live in there's some strange folk around aren't there i mean and they're all men yeah aren't they they're all men you don't see a woman getting a vagina out i didn't realize how weird this was at the time but come on yeah

you used to come back giggling away with your friends and this was before you could drive i thing right so it was so i was even younger boyfriend that drove before you did um and you used to come back and giggling away giggling away i think you even took francesca with you yes yeah and then and then there was a house where if you beeped the man would come to the window having a wine oh i didn't find that out for a long time so you used to go on You were going for a viewing. No, mum, that window cleaner. Oh, the window cleaner.

That's what we want to know. That was awful. Go on. That was awful. So I joined. We moved out of our old house and moved into a rental. And I joined during COVID, like, you know, a street WhatsApp group. Yeah, like a group WhatsApp.

Yeah, and they were really good. People would say, oh, I've grown some potatoes and come and climb. Some cannabis. From such and such a thing or what have you. And it was very friendly and everything was nice. And then suddenly it sort of turned a bit sour because somebody said, have you had John the window cleaner? So a few people said, I used to have John, but I don't have him anymore.

Yeah, no, we stopped having John 10 years ago. And these different things came back. And I thought, well, I wonder why they're asking about whether or not we had John. No, we didn't have a window cleaner. we weren't there long enough I don't think and then they said John sent a strange photograph, what could

it be? Does anybody else think that this photograph is a bit peculiar? I was watching TV I was following this a little bit and watching TV with Anthony and I said to Anthony, I've not got my glasses on what's that?

and he said, oh my god what are you it's john's dick i didn't think it was i didn't know what it was yeah to be honest it was in the mirror yeah and he said he took it by accident and then more stories came out about yeah and sent it to the window cleaner the window cleaner sent it to somebody when they were saying how much do we owe you john or something and he sent that photograph and said oh i sent that by mistake um i just got out of the shower wow i wonder if anyone enjoyed john's picture i wonder if it worked for anybody somebody was right liz crazy lauren's craziest teenage story oh where to start um there were two things that we thought of but first time she's ever been drunk

that you witnessed oh god you've got no idea the eyewitness that would be probably way down her alcohol journey the first one that she told me about

was when we'd been we'd been to somebody's house and we had a a wine box do you remember the wine box so underrated in Covid I had a wine box and we must have been going home

or we were in the car we were in the car for a good half an hour Lauren was in the back, well I imagine I was on my own usually was and you were in the back seat and you were rather drunk by the time we got home and I couldn't work out why

and that's because you'd been necking the wine from the wine cart in the back of the car in the back of the car all the way home I just opened a tarp. How old was she? Young. Well, yeah.

Ten? There was... Ten? Far younger than... But there was also... Wine tastes of arse. I got drunk first on, like, Smyrna. I don't think anyone would have.

It doesn't matter what it is. Yeah. And then there was the New Year's Eve party at our friends in Ramsbottom. And I... Oh, yeah. Yes. I took you and your dad...

I was driving, obviously, and I should have kept my eye on you, probably, and you were knocking back the lethal punch. I think you were sick before you came home, but by the time we came to leave, they were both smashed. My dad as well. So I tottered out with one, put them in the car, went back for the second, and the first one staggered back into the party. every time i got one of them in the car the other one legged it for another drink

so you put the one in the car lock the door yeah run back for the next one get them in on the way home we stopped because near the house was a um because it was a lovely christmas night a beautiful owl on the gate post and i said look at that looked in the back got home managed to get you out and then your dad started uh staggering down the road saying i don't live there so by this point i was so fed up i said right we'll piss off then yeah live wherever dad used to go dad used to get very drunk didn't he used to we in uh wardrobes oh well yes yes so the the craziest things tend to be when you've been let loose with alcohol what about me mum craziest I can't think of any of the crazy things that you've done over the I

mean remember you your alcohol story was that I could just remember you being sick and saying it's the Chinese it was a dodgy Chinese I've had a dodgy Chinese there was a lot of dodgy where did you have that Chinese but I remember going to a party with you somebody's one of our friends 40th 50th I can't remember what age they were and them saying can Ashley have a Bacardi breezer i was like she's 10 no no she can't what do you mean she still had one anyway if you give her a coke she's not allowed fizzy drinks i all mine was secret um yes i did a lot yeah a lot of mine was secret and we were talking before i used to we had a cupboard um because you don't drink but my dad did as we've gathered and um there was a lot of alcohol in there and i used

to go and swig me and my friends at swiggles and we used to get the chocolate liqueurs and suck the liqueur out oh yeah get a hit off anything absolutely so that was that was quite young i would say but we were talking before about um smoking as well right so um because i used to smoke rolled up a4 paper what you just knew you were a smoker i can't i don't i don't know what do you remember at school when people like smoke banana skin yeah so we would um disappear we would get an A4 piece of paper, cut it in half, roll it into almost like a cigarette

and we would smoke paper. Just light it. Light it. And I used to be unbelievably ill and I had tonsillitis a lot as a child and I actually wonder. Well, this is news to me. Yeah, I did used to do that.

You wouldn't have known because we were playing out. I think they're both against the smoking. When they thought, we thought you were playing on the swings or something. Yeah, smoking paper. Paper, yes, absolutely. Past relationships,

funny boyfriends we've brought home. Oh, well, I remember the very first boyfriend you had. Oh. Yeah, and I remember he left his bike on the drive. Right, no, stop, Mum, please. He left his bike on the drive. He had a bike. You came upstairs.

You were only about 14. Of course he had a bike. He knocked on the door and he said, is Ashley in? And I said, yeah, Ashley is in. and he was about six foot tall and he was only about 14 he had a bike he had a bike left it on the drive and so he he came in and you and Frankie were watching the Simpsons so he came and watched the Simpsons with you but you didn't speak to him it was the bike you didn't speak to him at all and I said oh hello nice to meet you and he told me his name and sat down and he sat on one sofa and

You and Frankie sat on the other, and Frankie was hiding behind the cushion. Oh, I can imagine Frankie. She was peeping at him. Yeah, she was snarling at him. There's a boy in the house, you know? And I was like, is he staying for tea? And you were like, looked at me as if to say, no, he's going right now. And that was your first meeting of boys.

She's had, how would you, how do you feel about relationships? Like, it's not been as bad as mine at all, has it? No. But has there been any that you've really, obviously without, we're not going to say who, but is there any that you've really thought, you're awful? Or have they been all right on the whole? All of the ones that I met were really nice boys.

I'll tell you who was the funny one, though. Do you remember the one you went out with when you were at college? That straightened his hair, that dad caught straightening his hair. Oh, no, not that one. He had his own handbag, didn't he? I'm like, what? No, I felt very safe with him. Oh, I bet you did.

Very safe with him. my dad was like I walked in and he was straightening he said he brought his own straighteners in his bag his man bag

and straightened his hair I bet you felt brilliant we're safe the one that used to wear this absolute skin tight trousers he looked like

William Shakespeare oh who's that I can't even remember that was when you were at uni oh him yeah Elliot

yes I only went out with him because his dad worked for the BBC and I wanted a job no I got that I didn't understand that still do you guys

And when I found this out, it was like a few months later, I was like, yeah, fuck off. Oh, it was really into you, though. I did feel sorry. You did break some hearts. I do feel sorry for some of them. But there's only one that I've disliked. Yeah.

Yeah. And did you know, sort of from the meeting, like when you first met somebody, do you think you get a vibe then? Or do you think it happened in general? Right, so tell us about mum's intuition on friends and boyfriends. Yeah. Because is it a thing?

Do you think that? Absolutely. that second you think you're not the one you've not got that number because you think everyone's nice I just didn't say no you don't my policy is keep gobs shut

you're quite like that if I can because I know she'll do what she wants well I know dad will be the voice with us oh god I think that's the thing and that's something that I'm glad that you're like that

and I always actually say to people don't i you will only give advice if you're asked because there's no point because there's no point because i won't listen and i very rarely ask because i don't want to know because i i'm doing what i want to do um you probably know as well i already know so what's the point in asking um but it is interesting to say that you sometimes you think you just keep your mouth shut and just think that'll run its course anyway i mean to be honest you kind of you you had a run of unsuitable as we know and

I don't know if you remember in the living room I used to have one of those round like a love seat yes I remember that on the graveyard and it was very comfy and I always used to be happy when I came home when you just had, you remember Jess

dog there was only Jess occupying the other half of the love seat because if it wasn't Jess it was someone else haunting you I used to think oh who's going to be on that love seat

next I think that's an exaggeration I don't think it wasn't like a rotation of men in the house no it would go one way round with one person on when it came back but I also spent a lot of time when in my darkest hour I used to

face the wall in it do you remember? when I was very sad I would spin it round Face the wall and stare at the wall. I'm very sad. I think really, I used to have this question. I'd see with, you know, there are one or two stick in my mind, obviously not naming.

And I just thought, why? Yeah. Why? Because they're clearly totally unsuitable. And there was one in particular who... What about the Thailand one? Well, he's the one. I could stab him now because of how he treated you.

That was horrific. all these years later and he's the only one probably I would stab yeah the thing is though Liz when she's doing it with these kind

I can't even talk to her because I'm like Lauren very unsuitable I can't even he had a very he had a very good but unfounded

opinion of himself yeah how did he do that and he came back from Thailand and I knew it was she was going to go for it

and I thought oh my lord what next and I didn't see him Immediately, and just before I saw him, a mutual friend said, oh, have you met him yet? And I said, no.

I said, why? Oh, well, just... And I thought, oh. And he turned up and he looked like a little weed and he had legs like knotted string. Yeah. And I used to think, how could you have such a boundlessly... Yeah, but some men are like that.

And he's the one that dumped me Because I wasn't his type Allegedly And I wasn't good looking He was horrible to me actually He was a bad one So you knew with that one didn't you But you said that you knew with Thea's dad

Not to slag him off because I don't mean that But you knew with him didn't you Which is funny because I really didn't I knew that Eventually I don't know I'll say what I want to say and then you can always get rid of it

if it's not suitable but when you got engaged and we went on holiday and I thought oh this is my opportunity to dig a bit deeper to get to know you

in depth but there was nothing there because there was no depth to be had and I just used to think this will end at some point when Lauren outruns him yeah yeah we didn't have the same not a criticism it's simply different different kinds of vision

or rather i think you had a vision and then afterwards i discovered um that your friends thought exactly the same thing but i hadn't spoken to them beforehand because that would have felt disloyal yeah definitely but they some of them also thought the same didn't it's funny that you can't you just don't realize though do you when you're in it yeah i wonder how you two girls are going to be because you've both got daughters yeah knowing what you know and how you've both behaved i what you're going to be like and like bad and how are you going to be yeah so you can now understand maybe the way dad was you know what like thank you so much to both of you i think that we're very lucky in having our moms are in where we can say we can be who we are

and you have around them and it's like there's no filter and I feel sorry for some of my friends that don't have that yeah and they have to be like on guard and that must be or they say I can't tell my, don't tell my mum don't tell my mum

or you see someone change their personality in front of their mum and stuff like that have you got a partner Liz no nobody wants me Oh, I don't understand that at all. You've not put yourself out there. I did. I did a few years ago.

Oh, it was dire, absolutely dire. What, the dating side of things? Yeah, I think it's because I couldn't take it lightly. Yes. Every time I met somebody, it was as if I was going for a panel interview. Oh, crumbs. But also, did you compare them to your former husband?

Your husband, you've lost your husband through death, haven't you? Not really. um not really but i just found it a dispiriting experience oh i can imagine i i don't i don't think i could i think i'd just get a dog yeah well dogs never leave you do they um i just found i found myself in situations that i used to think oh gosh how have i got here yeah and i i used to get so nervous i just used to and what did lauren think did she ever meet any of them no never got that far she encouraged me really yeah but um but i found it so artificial yeah i think that's the yeah the thing okay so one thing i do want to speak to you both about that we have in common

and that probably as mothers was quite hard to kind of navigate yeah so ashley and i both have had cosmetic surgeries and tweaks and stuff from being a really young age actually when i look back at it now and also when we did it 12 13 14 years ago it really wasn't a big thing surgery now it's very people you find more people with a boob job than without now whereas then it really wasn't like that so I'm really interested in your take as parents how you felt when we all of a sudden started saying I'm getting lip filler I'm getting my boobs done you know how did you feel when Ashley first came to you and said I want my boobs done well I always thought that Ashley was beautiful and she didn't need to do anything to herself and then when she said she was going to

get her boobs done and I understood her reasoning but then I was worried about the actual operation about yeah there's different afterwards which you would with your girls now yeah when you're young you don't think about how things don't go wrong and also there were a lot of really bad mistakes at the time those few years ago wasn't there yeah the people were going to bizarre people getting things done enormous buzzers or whatever yeah it was like 90s boob job era wasn't it like when you said boob job yeah i thought of pamela anderson immediately yeah so then i think i think though you did see the confidence that i had after i had my boob job yeah but i i didn't see why you you needed that you you always appear to be very confident to me anyway far more confident than

i've ever been but with wearing clothes and stuff oh i get that i wear what i wanted because you thought i would always have a padded gel filled bra that i had to buy off some bizarre website primark used to do the great gel bra yeah like no but it was victoria's secret victoria's secret like big massive like and it yeah swimsuits were always such a challenge weren't they yeah well couldn't yeah well we could have done but you did and then and you look gorgeous how old was i when i had my boobs done 22 i think so and then i had my nose done how did you feel about a nose because for me boobs are boobs you can cover them up yeah nose is what i think i would struggle with is you made her she's yours that's your daughter that you've had for 20 odd years i'm just thinking

as a mum now yeah and then all of a sudden she's going to change and look like somebody that you didn't make did that how did it feel I think that the major thing was I'd always thought of people who had nose jobs as being people who had something wrong with the nose right and in my opinion I didn't think not just functional but somebody who had a really like a big big nose yeah who would be so self-conscious about it it would affect their personality and I didn't think that Ashley's nose affected a personality but she felt better about it and it was a success and it worked but i was very nervous about what's the worst that lauren's done there's it was that boob job that went wrong was they've all gone wrong in yeah i did a blog on patreon guys she's been through it about my

boob journey because they all something went wrong with a lot of and tell let's talk about turkey yeah yeah that's i've got ptsd really turkey they went to turkey it wasn't anything wrong with the surgery it wasn't the surgery it was just the recovery yeah it was great so tell us about turkey mum i'd see how another time then we i'd had fear so 30 it was 2020 as well yeah yeah just after lockdown but this is funny because it's kind of a thing where my mum got dragged along again like the metal detector so off we went to turkey well i wouldn't have i wouldn't have not gone because i wanted to be there for you but it was and there was nothing wrong with the um the hospital was beautiful staff were brilliant i spent a long time on google translate

um who for the actual nursing staff because they didn't speak english it was a lovely place but they wanted lauren to stay in for three nights and she refused she would only stay in two nights so they said well you're going to have to drain the holes whatever the wounds in her back i'd had fat transfer to my boobs so i had a little hole at the bottom of my back several holes yeah um and i had they showed me how to do it you had to put this stick in in the hole and drain all this gunk yeah like um a cannula thing yeah yeah and i was horrified i was skipping and this this You know, it needs to be done several times a day. Oh, it was a nightmare.

We'd get into that tiny toilet cubicle, didn't we? Like, a tiny toilet, and she'd have to take the scab back off. And were you crying? Yeah. She was crying. I was gipping. Oh, you should have stayed in. And we were in this little room.

Why didn't you stay in? Yeah. Because Lauren's lonely. No, that's not how I remember it, Mum. I think you've told that completely wrong. No, I have not. Well, I know you have. Actually, you have told that wrong.

I was only meant to stay in one night I asked to stay in two and they wouldn't let me stay in the third no you did stay in two I thought they wanted you they wouldn't let me stay in the third well either way I had to go home armed with sticks poking the stick

and then you'd push my fluid down my back and it would squirt out I was so embarrassed at the hotel with the state of the sheets that I was bunging the room the chambermaid loads and loads of Turkish lira and I'm going, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry.

But what, there was a girl... She was probably used to it. But you ended up mothering another girl, didn't you? Oh, well, yes, I did, and you were a bit jealous. Yes, I was. She kept disappearing. I'd say you've been with her, haven't you? There was a girl who, about the same age, I'd say,

and she was Swedish, she was on her own. That's her own problem. I know, she was... Sounds like a you problem. And obviously it was a package, so she was staying at the same hotel and she was crying as we were leaving and I just felt so sorry for her. And I kind of, you know, I gave her not a proper hug

because she had a boob job. She had a bum done as well. A bum, was it? And she was in a lot of pain and of course you're not quite with it, are you? And I said, don't worry, don't you be fine and I'll come and see if you're okay. And Lauren wasn't possibly.

Yeah, so she was on her own, she was from America. No, she wasn't, she was Swedish. Yeah, she was Swedish. She lived in America. She did not. Okay. And I talked to her. You ignored her.

Yeah, I didn't want to speak to her. You flattered her. It was her problem. But I brought my mum, like, not my problem. You didn't bring yours. Lauren, that's so me. She kept trying to take my mum. And then my mum was like, I'll come and see you.

Do you want me to bring you some lunch? A packed lunch. A packed lunch. And then, like, I'd be in bed. Because it was horrific. I was in so much pain. It was really, it was, and I missed the, it was awful. and you'd be gone for like an hour

and I'd be like where have you been you'd been with her and you had you'd been checking on her but she needed a mummy didn't she just for a day or so and then she was fine but I can remember saying I'd like to go because it's beautiful weather

do you want to go out by the pool and you'd say how long for oh yeah I didn't want her to leave and if you remember also when we were in reception because it was a big hair transplant place for men and this

minibus drew up to the end of the hotel and it said Istanbul Hair Clinic and all these men got out like

zombie apocalypse with bandages around their heads how honestly you could film something very good and everyone was going round the hotel

holding we got asked to go and film that yeah we did not long ago we decided not to yeah that was that was awful

and what about my eye your eye no that I had to ring did I ring you at one point as I said get her to hospital I had my blephs done and I got an infection and it wasn't the surgeon's fault

it was my fault when I went to see Hannah for my nails we were mentioning this and she said well she got some rusty nails to cut cut her stitches out with yes I did cut a stitch myself from some scissors I found in the drawer so I got an incredibly bad infection didn't I

and my eye was out there that was a nasty one That was horrid. I remember seeing the photograph of that. Do you remember? I had to keep going to hospital. Yeah, and people kept doing ineffectual things. That was quite a bad one, wasn't it?

Yes, it was. That was bad. But I think partly because you're reckless. Yes, that is the word I would use to describe Lauren. One last thing that I just want to ask you both. Obviously, we've spoken about our past unsuitable relationships. can you tell us how you met well Beverly you've known him for a long time and how you feel about our current husbands because I think that within reason yeah so tell us obviously Ashley split up

with Ed for some time and then they got back together didn't they and all of a sudden they were getting married yeah very me how yeah we've not told that yeah how how do you feel about Ed And, you know, that romance. Always loved Ed. He's just one of the nicest men you could wish to meet. He really is. He's reliable. He's strong.

He's thoughtful. He's such a nice man. He is. He is a really nice man. And were you thrilled when she did get back with him? Oh, gosh, yeah. I could have jumped in the air. Did you feel like tick?

Yeah. It was really funny, actually, wasn't it? Because I was at your apartment. Did I tell you first? I looked out of the well I looked out the window and there was a big black car outside yeah and you said that's somebody with my engagement ring and I said are you getting engaged yeah I just told her oh and it was a driver it was during lockdown yeah so a driver had come to bring bring the ring to the house and it was in was it in a big like a a limo yeah

no it was like a piano-y thing and then the lady came out and she had to like pass it in wow the box you put it on then i put it on then naomi put it on we all put it on we all put it on and you're all thrilled yeah yeah we're all thrilled did you like him from day one yes absolutely yeah such a kind man and just if he's a very quiet man and he's just thoughtful and kind and you can't ask for more than that can you yeah i think you've it must be a lovely feeling especially after the ups and downs you know ashley's been a single mom we haven't even got time to touch on that today but there's all that kind of stuff as well

it must be a nice feeling to think, right tick, box. Yeah, the security I mean, with your girls when you have the relationship start going through with your girls, you really want them to be with somebody kind and that's it, don't you? Now we just

need a boyfriend for Frankie. I was going to say that we've got one left. If there are any nice men out there. There isn't. We've already married them. I'd like one. A memorable one as well Liz would like a nice man mum tell us about James about your initial thought when you first met him and how you feel

about James now well I first met him because Lauren decided that it would be baptism by fire and invited him to a party a family party I thought bring him along

very calm very cash poor James god It was Joanna Christians I thought that was very brave of him but what I didn't want to do was leap on him and interrogate him so I just kind of

kept a certain distance I thought I was just being nice but apparently he didn't think I was No, you actually came across quite rude and you didn't speak to him at all or even make any eye contact I don't think

She's pretty nervous as well I didn't want him to think, because everybody else was talking to him as well. I didn't want him to think, to be overwhelmed. And you're the mum. Yeah. And also, I did think, back of my mind, oh, here we go again. But since then, which I didn't, and I didn't realise I was standoffish. I just didn't want to crowd him.

But since then, you know, obviously I've got to know him. And he, yeah, he's thoughtful and kind. and always, you know, he's always, has your back. Yeah. And it is that time when you think, well, hopefully, I mean, he's a pain in the neck, obviously, but... Oh, he's got ADHD and everything. Yeah, he's got ADHD.

But we love him. He's like a pet puppy. He's like a bouncy Labrador puppy, but with a certain strength, which I think's really good. And, you know, I'm really relieved now. But I also haven't said, which is very random, is that I'm very proud of you. I'm proud of you both.

I'm proud of the way you both turned out. And hopefully that's tick, tick, tick, married. Done. Now we just need to sort my mum out. Quickly, Mum, what age group are we on? Yeah. Oh, ancient. Ancient.

Ancient rich would be good. Ancient rich, not somebody who wants a nurse. Oh, no. Yeah, for a couple of months. Somebody with a nurse already. Do you know what they say? I don't want to be a nurse or a purse. I heard that expression.

Oh, no. Right, so not a nurse or a purse. Not a nurse or a purse. In other words, you're providing them with money. And I personally said I would rather they didn't have kids because, you know, as we know now from the surgery story, I'm not keen to share. I don't really want any stepbrothers and sisters or grandkids

because you need to look after this new one. Well, he's going to be on if he's not got kids. But if somebody hasn't got any baggage, that's very odd. That's what I mean. That's a red flag, Laura. There's a reason. They've got to this. It's not about me.

So, yeah, anyone, what age range would we say? Would we say 60 to, oh, God. Eight. I'm going through all the members at the tennis club now. I'm going to be flying through them all for you, John, Stephen. Does anybody listen from a care home? Yeah. They're just about to redo their will

And we'd like them to be active Gym, walking Funny and kind Yes, and if they had some hair On their head that is, that would be quite Oh I wouldn't go for that No, actually no, you're right At your age mum, I would say teeth

Have that as a tip And all the limbs And they can walk, yeah And a pocket full of Viagra Yay right guys we're gonna carry this on we're gonna roll it over to the bonus we're gonna roll it over to the bonus you've done really well in a minute we've not finished i'm still speaking we're going to the bonus

and we're going to talk about so we have got some listener questions and we may get a bit deeper it's going to be more kind of um you know quick fire questions that you guys wanted to ask you wanted to ask our mums. So if you're loving this chat, you can get us on Apple subscription or on Patreon and you can listen to the bonus question where we're going to carry on with them.

A mum has brought some very funny pictures in of me which we're going to share. Yes, you haven't seen them. You haven't seen them. Right guys, continuing over on the bonus as I said, but we are going to go now to Lucky Cat, aren't we? It's my favourite at the minute.

We've got a little surprise for our mums. Oh my God, it is so nice. The chicken, seriously, I've never tasted. I think it's called tea something. I can't remember. The egg fried rice, the chicken, it is, we love Lucky Cat. If you've not been, you absolutely need to go. I got engaged there.

Oh, did you? Before James weed his pants, truthfully, with nerves. So, yeah, we're going to take the ladies there, aren't we? Oh, I'm looking forward to it. Enjoy. Thank you very much. Thank you.