Nip Tuck - Peggin, Peggin You

Episode Date: July 19, 2023

Ashley & Lauren have got all the goss on their upcoming brunch in London, as well as some slightly embarrassing stories from when they went live on Insta to promote it. There are more worrying stories coming out of Turkey from botched surgeries and stolen body parts, plus the girls talk open relationships, three ways gone wrong and Ashley's got pegging on the brain once again.To sign up for Patreon for more exclusive content and full video episodes, click this link: https://patreon.com/niptuckpodTo get involved with the show, you can send us a DM on Instagram and TikTok, find us @niptuckpod.Or you can email [e-mail] can also send us your beauty questions, icks, dilemma's and Slutty Susan confessionals via WhatsApp! You can text or voice note the girls on [phone] Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

hello guys and welcome welcome welcome welcome to nip tuck not not giving a fuck this is the podcast where we celebrate being positive wonderful aspirational women that is what we are it is darling it is i think you're aspirational and you think i am and that's all that really matters this show is really all about just being whoever you want to be Unapologetically Yourself You need to watch Patreon to understand what we've just been doing That's what I always feel like

When I've got a big baggy jumper I always want to do this It's cosy Okay, coming up on today's show We are giving you the lowdown On the PLT extravaganza Oh my gosh Cannot wait

And we hear more concerning stories Of stolen body parts Ashley has also still got pegging on the brain. We're going to discuss it. Why me? Right, right. Right, right. Can't help who you love, Lauren.

You can't help who you love. You can't help who you peg. Can't help what you want, what the heart wants. Okay. I can't believe we've not spoken about this PLT thing. The brush. And the Molly May thing. Right, just explain what it is.

Okay, so, PLT, wow, we are working with them, like... Big. No, it's big. Like, I think sometimes we forget because we've, like, grown and grown. If we, the old us, were sat looking at this, PLT are doing something with us. I know. PLTX, Nip Tuck.

So, on the 26th and 27th, which is very soon, we are recording a live podcast at the PLTHQ. The ticket's sold out because you lot are amazing. And, like, having loads of sisters and brothers, it's amazing. We're going to have so much fun. We're going to have a massive lull. but we're going to take you all along with us as well aren't we because we're going to be recording it we're going to be on our phones we're going to stay over so you're going to still see a load of

it yeah we're doing two shows two shows um so we're going to still like involve you all and we're so excited and molly may went she's swinging her hair she just pulled an extension molly may is gonna be and i'm joking don't she's gonna be there but molly may joined our live so i was sat there and my clue to everyone about what our announcement was i said um they it rhymes with a company that shmally shmay works with so i was like hi shmally shmay then the next thing shmally shmay popped up and it said molly may hey girls and i was like oh my god she probably thinks we're such gimps yeah she does i bet she thinks we're fucking losers not you but she thinks I bet she thinks I'm so weird

she doesn't class me as weird one of my friends Chris said to me the other day he's like you're a funny little creature are you? Oh my god I was I've been listening to because you know I love listening to her book the Catherine Ryan book who's that? The American comedian

and she was like my whole life I've just been called a freak and I am it literally is like she worked in hooters but she used to do really really weird shit like um just like write weird stuff on the notice boards and stuff like that and she got like sacked for it and they were like why do you have to be a freak do you want to hear a funny story um so obviously i work for arch and co um one of my best friends and we do training we teach it as well and in the old building that

we used to have we used to rent it with another company um and there was like a shared teaching green with a big white uh what's it called white but we used to write on and stuff and me and one of the other girls that used to work there were pissing about and i had really hairy fanny at the time so she drew a massive fanny on it with loads of pubes and was so that when i came in we were like laughing right anyway we totally forgot about it the next day the other company that shared it with us yeah went in to teach something and there was a big mass loads of students that paid thousands for the course and there was a big hairy fanny that's just not on to be honest it's not so they told sophie and obviously sophie's my best mate she was like trying to

be really professional she was like um girls we need to be really careful about what we leave on the whiteboard at the end of the day and then she was like um i was like why why she's like there was a big funny drawn on it i've got a really really no i did something okay just just re-change it for in the break and i will tell this story at the brunch if no one's there that worked at this company with me i did something really fucking bad okay tell us at the brunch i'll tell you shall we tell some bad secrets no like this is and i know that the people listen because they've mentioned it when i've been why don't we say it at the brunch okay i'm gonna think of some other things i will tell you you pissed my bed yeah we always do that you only get to find

out the brunches anyway i've ordered did you find the pink top still out of stock do a jeans and the jeans are really nice and i might just wear them with the body they're like a pink the plt jeans are stunning um so i might wear that i've also got i've got i'm into a lot of denim at the minute so i've got like i've got a denim jumpsuit you know i'm out there i'm out there because i always dress like to the toilet oh yeah i always dress like a slob so i thought you know what for once in my life i'm gonna glam i'm gonna be out there and i never wear shit like that so yeah i'm always quite i don't know muted so uh yeah that's we'll see we don't know what i'm excited for the goodie bags yeah same do you think we'll get one i've heard they're gonna be sick um yeah we're excited

we're gonna do a live podcast there and then we're gonna go i think london will go for dinner won't we on the wednesday then we'll stay over dinner we need to have a chat but yeah it's exciting and we're gonna be able to spend two full days with lukie lucas yeah and we'll be on our instance he doesn't know yet that he's sharing a bed with us um so me and lukie probably have a few drinks and you can watch yeah yeah and let's do some funny things let's do can we make some tiktoks lucas oh not anal not anal lucas can we do some tiktoks yeah yeah okay do a plan of what tiktoks you want you do we're in the car for ages as well and we'll do loads of work and we'll do maybe do a q a in the car oh there's loads of stuff we're gonna do guys so yeah that's exciting

and we forgot to talk about that um also what else like what else have we got to talk about Ryanair it says here that you forgot part of I did I'm back again I forgot part of the story go so when I posted

saying like what had gone on I forgot to talk about the fact that I was holding a woman's hand wow all the way there right so for take off

there's a woman and she ended up next to me she was a lovely woman anxious flyer I think she was Spanish she was really anxious I would say she was a little bit older than me

anyway so she sat there and as we're setting off I could she was literally shaking she was she was turning looking each way And I felt so sorry for her.

I've been there. I'm not an anxious flyer. So I just kept like saying, you're okay, you're okay. Because she spoke English but quite broken and she was going, nodding and she was so nervous. She was so cute.

She was so cute and she was panicking. You could see rocking. Was there turbulence? No. So I knew she was, I already knew she was a really nervous flyer. Then on the way down, there was a lot of turbulence

and normally there isn't. And even I, and bear in mind, I am not one bit scared of flying. I looked at James and I thought, shit, anyway, she's next to me and her head's going. She is rocking back and forth.

So I thought, i don't know what to do here so i just held a hand that's really nice and i just because i thought i'm very tactile anyway so i kept kind of patting her leg like it's okay it's okay and i was patting her and i thought sod it held a hand and she was so good she literally had anything to drink i didn't say to her like do you want a bottle of wine i didn't so i held a hand and she we literally held like that like clasp and anyway you know normally when you land it's really quick no this landing went on for 20 minutes i was holding her hand for 20 minutes it was getting sweaty in there and she was squeezing it so tight and i didn't know what to say she didn't speak

much english and james was looking at me and i was like i don't know so i'm holding a hand so i held her hand the whole way that's really great why you should always be like blackout wasted on a plane because if it crashes um sorry you won't remember it i hear you but i don't i don't think no i'm joking i think they frown upon that but i know what you mean like the nerves i don't like do you know when people get really pissed on the plane like that's not for me that because you always end when you land and then like if something happens with your bag or then like obviously you think yeah i'm getting straight off the plane no you're not hon it's gonna take you hours and then you'll be like the hangover will be setting in so i honestly more i'm all about

the hydration on the plane because it is very when i went to mexico i got really drunk on the plane which you're allowed um and when we got there i got even more drunk because we got off in cancun had more drinks got to tulum i don't remember any of this woke up in mexico literally like in a hut and i was like the fuck i had the worst anxiety because i just got steaming um it was quite a funny flight to be fair that's like whenever you go on long haul flight site to like america and stuff like that there's always people who mix like sleeping tablets with alcohol and you can see them passed out

no but like people have told stories about like you know someone will be like take this pill and drink some drink and they literally

lose their shit on the plane on the plane and get arrested and shit I think cabin crew have a lot to deal with they fucking do

but I still continue on my flights you've just done a long journey Scotland you went to bloody Scotland I did

I love this Scotland so tell us you went to Glen Eagles which is such a posh like it's such a posh place to go it's like

is it oh no Glen Eagles yeah it sounds posh doesn't it Glen Eagles just when you say like when you go

oh we're going to Glen Eagles um anyway tell me about that because you sent me some pictures it looks stunning tell me start to finish

how long did it take to get there took like four hours who drove obviously not me because we got there um Ed and um

we took the kids with us what were the kids like in the car fine they are fine in the car to be fair they sleep a bit watch a bit of their ipad just give them some snacks did you stop halfway or just carry on no i had to stop twice because my back is such a mess

why do you get a backache when you're early pregnancy they're not it's not heavy yet why does that happen do you think no i think it's like your hormones and your bones are softening ready for life ready for that big mama so um glenn eagles 10 out of 10 recommend um yes it was expensive what room did you stay in just a normal room i had a look at them and actually it's not much more than grantly hall no it's the same same isn't it but because we've got that many children you should have seen the cost of what if we took them all it was well we had one room a family room for four of us the six of us yeah but if you went like with just a few of you i don't know just pick the best kids pick the favorites well it doesn't matter because the kids club

yeah so sorry you got there all good yeah what did you do tell me a kids club from age two or three you can put them in um and in the kids club they do like so many fun things with them and then they've got like so you don't feel guilty then about them going do you because you know they're having an amazing wanted to go but um then they have a separate bit which is a soft play and like beanbags and like tvs the little ones can go in and there's like nannies you can get for an hour while you go and get a massage um like how much of a good idea is that there is nothing like that around here because you can do a bit of both you can spend time with your children you can enjoy it with your children but if you want to nip out for an hour get a

little massage i played golf and i went for a massage yes that's lovely it was what was the what was it like in the evening with kids i always worry about taking the kids places with food because They can be hard, can't they? No, like, if you eat in the clubhouse bit, which is near the golf course, it's more like a pub vibe. So you don't feel that pressure. And everyone had kids with them.

It's very kid-friendly. What are your kids like at dinner? Can they be a nightmare or are they quite good? Saskia's amazing. Is she good? Yeah, like, you know, like, they're at that age. When they get to that age, you get past it, don't you? The other one, no.

No. The other one, not so good. He's at a difficult age. Yeah, really difficult. they want to get out and crawl and throw things and they get yeah it's the food yeah um so you had a really good time how long did you go for three nights i think you need to don't you with all these activities as well with the kids they did the ferret club you go and get to learn to handle the ferrets and then they walk them on a lead this is a premium property and they're

playing with ferrets yeah then they did pony riding more like it then they did the car and she got to drive a mini land rover around herself yeah wait did you go with them to that to those those bits yeah okay got you so you can watch it all and enjoy it um but in the kids club it was like they did like activities amazing they're not just sat there and then they do like tennis lessons golf lessons i love that honestly i highly recommend glenn eagles the staff were amazing the food was amazing they couldn't do enough for the kids it had like a little corner shop with like nappies like anything you needed in it like and then also i've heard that at christmas it's oh my god so we looked once at peckfordton castle at christmas just that kind of vibe do you know

what i mean it's not glen eagles but where you go somewhere for christmas for christmas and i've always been no no but actually how magical it's like hogwarts castle kind of thing i bet that's I bet the, I dread, I dread to think. Do you know how much it is for Christmas? Yeah, so I looked at Claridge's for Christmas. Yes. Because I did that one year with Saskia. Yeah.

And I was like, oh, do you know what? It was so nice, I'm going to book it again. Go on. 25 grand for the most basic room. What? Glen Eagles for the four of us at Christmas for three nights was 11 and a half. That's a lot of money.

but it's not 25 grand look the thing is right you know i wouldn't spend that on no way fuck that no i know what you're saying but what i mean is when we talk about them it's all relative isn't it do you know what i mean i think when people go away at christmas it's to escape their family and i understand that i feel that i would never go away at christmas i love the run-up to christmas and i love the kids love just like being at home yeah i agree i love christmas it's the one time i wouldn't go away people go away after christmas yes yeah i get that it all goes downhill from there oh my god it like you get depressed fatter yeah the house is a mess you have to do the clear out where you take away all the stuff and then put the new stuff in it is not a good time unless

you're 21 and you're going out on the party between it is not a good time no so i get that But, like, honestly, like, I just love being at home over Christmas. I think January's a lovely time to go on holiday. Yeah, it is. Where do you go, like, Dubai or something? Yeah, you'd have to go quite far. Oh, my sister's moved to Dubai. Why the hell not?

I would, absolutely. She rang me and got upset on the phone when she saw the kids. She's like, I'm crying. Don't, because it's going to make me cry. I would cry with happiness. She is having, like, the best time. she's just got a stunning apartment she's got an amazing job um but yeah message her on instagram if you live in dubai because she's not depending what you want yeah depending what you're looking

for no she just wants to like make it into a little routine do you know what i mean make it home like that takes a while that doesn't come straight away so how often is she going to come home she's not coming home till christmas because new job you've got to like get stuck in you'll miss her won't you like you see her all the time every day and she helps you a lot as well doesn't she yeah that's sad for you maybe you need more maybe you need to get another nanny i did i got the weekend one bye frankie right anyway right okay um thailand oh my god so i sent this to ashley normally i don't i normally try and wait but i couldn't not right so one of our listeners i got it that's very funny it's not funny you're not allowed to say funny um so listen to this

right so i got sent this story and it was a screenshot of a group chat and this girl has gone to thailand to have her breasts supposedly they do really good yeah yeah because they do a lot of them trans trans patients so anyway she'd gone and had her breasts done and obviously you're all taped up and you actually generally don't take all of your dressings off till you're home because compression compression obviously so she gets them done but i come home goes to take her dressings off they've stolen her nipples so she looks into it turns out it's actually a really common thing because there are so many trans people over there and they need bigger nipples can they not just tattoo them like yeah yeah they could but yeah so they take people's nipples and

give them they put them it's like um no no no this isn't true you can't do that you can't if you can do that with a liver you can't do that because i've been in watching plastic surgeries before and they have to leave the nipple attached no there'll be no blood supply it's like a graft if you can do it with a liver they are sealing livers in turkey and putting them in other people you can do it with a nipple you'd keep it alive and then they just sew it on you're like when you do um a gigantomastia where their breasts are so big they can't save the nipples and they just put them on for show oh so just be careful and also another thing no one would want my piggy nipples piggy nips one of my um one of my friends was telling me that she went somewhere with one of

her other friends and they were talking about another friend and same again they'd taken a liver in turkey i'm hearing kidney i'm so sorry kidney i'm hearing about this all the time now so they basically gone organ snatching and she only knew again because she'd come back didn't feel well years later did a scan and they were like when did you have your kidney taken there's a lady um and they told it was for drains we need to actually um have a look at this message that we got on instagram properly there's a young mum of three that's just died um from manchester a few weeks ago oh my god the lady that had um bariatric she had bariatric so weight loss surgery and it is so sad so she went over there was really excited was posting like can't wait to start this journey

or the rest of it and then i don't know what happened i don't know if they know yet but she actually died and she's got i think three children did you read that story that i sent you from the daily mail as well about um the lady that went over to turkey to have her up it's like your tummy making yeah please can you eat something because that's not i'm fasting i'll talk to you about um so she went over and she said that she could like see people being operated on by different people coming in and out of the room yes yeah heavy i'm saying all this as we know i always have to counteract it i've had my boobs done in turkey you're gonna have to i can't i can't help it um and i don't know if i've still got both kidneys but i feel quite well um but it was fine

it was really really good it was actually better than some of the surgery i've seen here at the was really good so please like there is another side to it but we saw that amazing tummy tuck from lithuania oh my god so best tummy tuck i've ever seen so one of our followers um she was at that concert we went to and said hello to us it was her so um she sent me because we talk about tummy tuck so i think i think it's fair we say this actually i think we need to kind of looks amazing yeah so we often talk about tummy tucks and we can be a bit negative about them only because over our years we've seen quite a lot of not great ones so we're a little bit neggy about it um i think though if you were in a situation where what you have is awful in your eyes and you

really really aren't happy yeah and it's causing you so much then i do think they're worth it but i don't think they're worth it if you've just got a bit of loose skin because i think the scarring etc but anyway she listened to that and sent us them and said look i had mine done and it was the best thing i've ever had done she sent me some before and afters yeah amazing and it wasn't that bad before a bit of loose skin incredible she'd got them done in lithuania honestly like i think it was unreal um the standard of a lot of the work that's done in this country cosmetic surgery is very very very low i went and worked in um la for a bit with a cosmetic surgeon um who actually does some of the kardashians work yes off um and the way that they treat their patients and the

results that they come out with like they put you on the hyperbaric oxygen chamber they say if your massages aren't booked in you can't have it done yeah yeah um they actually print can print out a 3d picture of what your face will look like so you sit in the doctor's office with it like i went into this like stunning i worry about that though because surgery isn't 3d and i worry that people will see the 3d man that i worked with literally can print facial implants off a printer wow and put them straight into your face fair enough like honestly it's another level i think was incredible we are behind here and really behind it's sloppy work i agree and the problem is though the problem we have is here we're sat here saying that we're behind but then we're also

like oh don't go to turkey so it's it's it's tough i i couldn't personally go away to have something the only thing i would say miss the kids and feel bad yeah it was horrible it was really unpleasant like that side of it the only thing i would say though is i do really do believe that there are other countries in other countries the surgeons a lot of the time are more advanced and they are better why can't they come over exactly the problem is it's not the surgeons always it's number one the research isn't being done you're just going over there and having done the rules aren't the same they don't have cqc they don't have it's that side of it that isn't always the best but there are ones that are really good and that do look after you there's one that

i really want to go to for body work when i'm finished having kids and um he is in brazil but flies to turkey once a month perfect i just it is it is scary but at the same time we're telling people that the surgeons here aren't as good which i actually don't they're not they're not i'm sorry i've said it they're not having worked and seen millions of tummy tucks and uplift did you see that post all right did you see that post i did about how like these influencers are sharing discount codes don't agree with that what the fuck don't agree also if you're hiring pr as a surgeon and you're paying influencers yeah to come in why do you need to do that why do you need to if you're that good go into the office and realize that yeah is that because the

costs are lower so they need i don't know i don't know fair enough if you're bringing a skincare range out yeah fair enough if you've got an aesthetics clinic but surgery but surgery if they are promoting youtubers only fans influencers are going in hey here is my experience yeah but at the same at the same time what it is their experience if a youtuber no i get it i get it what what i'm saying is as a preface because i've done it yeah yeah i've done it is feel very responsible yeah that's the problem so as actually being that influencer i understand why people do it being the influencer people need to know about like your journey and i still share all of that like i've had this done this is what i use yeah but the name just be careful yeah no i i do agree

with that because if something goes wrong you then get the dm i went with such and such and this happened and i get that yeah because you did yeah yeah i agree anyway anyway for a long time we have rambled and we've both got loads of shit to do today so go on what have you got to do i have to take handbag back into manchester um and then i'm going to la prairie the manager of course you are has got some samples for us of that margot roger i know i know you always get the best and and then um i've got a facialist with francesca the facialist oh my god what i thought she was london no for some reason oh wow okay um you know i love you being pregnant because you're having to you're having to literally like desperately look at other ways that you can

have things done that are pregnancy safe so you're like oh yes let's try this let's try that so i think she said she's gonna do like some kind of hydro facial and i'm not usually a fan let's see my skin is not good at the minute though looks nice it's not it's very hormonally congested i'm still struggling so after this i'm going for xlis i've had it it's really good i'm gonna do my tummy i'm gonna do my jawline and i'm maybe gonna do my knees okay um because why the fuck not your skin looks nice at a minute does it thanks so i'll tell you about that um my skin's oh my god as everyone knows the bane of my life is still pigmentation like i'm getting there lauren it's the sun i know i know that right okay so chest pigmentation is it's a big thing isn't it

yeah it's huge it's it's very hard to get a nice tan which we all love let's be honest we do we feel better especially on that like chest face area how do you avoid the chest because everything what you wear when you're on holiday your chest is out so you put an spf on you try and hide it in general you try not to get pigmentation there for over tanning it so the only way to do it and the best way is by fake tan isn't it and you are i am the fake tan expert i have been wearing fake tan a lot more lately um i'm so conscious now of my pigmentation and i'm so conscious of my skin elasticity which is from the sun so i've started really trying with fake tan a lot more than i did before so you were using the tanologist tan weren't you when you said to me get on it their

one hour one for me is absolutely amazing so tan does dry your skin out yeah of course the tanologist one though it has got like hyaluronic acid in it's got vitamin c in it and the one hour one for me what i do is i do all my beauty admin on a sunday night so i'll scrub my tan off and then on monday morning i'll have my shower wash my hair put a layer of the tanologist mousse on leave it for an hour wash it off so it doesn't dry your skin out because you've not got it on for as long doesn't transfer onto my sheets but you love the face one yeah so the face drops for me are unbelievable i've been and you can use them on your chest yeah so i've been looking at different face tans because one thing that i always cover now is my face and neck so my face

and neck is always white and everywhere else and as this lady said your chest as well i really want to avoid getting too much sun damage there so the self tan drops the reason that i think this is a dream when you use tan normally it means you're not using your usual fave products and it can clog your skin yes yeah whereas with the tanologist self tan drops you can put it into your favorite products so the creams that you already use you can literally mix like two to twelve drops depending how dark you want to be um you can put it in there do you know you can put it in your foundation really yes so you can put it in there and it will develop through the day and it develops in like four to six hours down onto your chest of course you do yeah so like on your neck that's what

you do so you know when you're doing your face makeup you go onto your neck and it just gives you like a little bit of a glow that naturally comes through and you can customize it more drops a bit browner it's just easy i haven't got time honestly girls so you just put them in try the tanologist tan like like i said i use a lot of different fake tans but this one has stood out to me recently i love the fact that the mousse doesn't have they smell so much and the green tinge yeah for me because i am as white as a sheet i sometimes can look a little bit green a little bit off yeah i didn't get that with the tanologist so babe it with regards to your chest get your spf um that's the spritz some spf on and use this

use a tan to instead of sunbathing 100 i think we should all start doing they have an extra dark mousse as well because i like to be i'm not well i'm not white as a sheet naturally so when i put tan on i want to be dark yeah they've got an extra dark mousse and again doesn't dry you out we obsessed don't we over hyaluronic acid yeah we're always talking about it yeah it's in there as well they've just got like a range of they've got everything haven't they loads yeah i like so yeah get your sun cream on and get your hat on love so yeah they sell this tanologist on look fantastic lauren they do and the code nip tuck lf gives you dissy gives you the discount so go and Tan your chest, baby.

Right then. Are you a loyal listener of Nip Tuck? Say it in Scottish. Are you a loyal listener of Nip Tuck? I'm good. Do you set an alarm on a Wednesday or Friday ready for a new release? You're so good at this.

Do you laugh out loud? That wasn't great. Whilst on the train or driving to work? Well, why not tell your nearest and dearest about Nip Tuck? Hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on. Let me just try Irish. Trotty tree. Spread the love.

Why are you spreading the podcast? Well, try again. Spread the... Can't do it. Spread the love. When I'm drunk, I can do it. Anyway, share the episode on WhatsApp. Love you, bye.

Love you, bye. Welcome back. Welcome back. Slutty Sue, where are you? Slutty Sue. Keep them coming in. It turns out there's a load of sluts that were hiding under a rock and when we shouted, you all ran.

We shouted, Slutty Susan, and all you slutties ran out. Right, who's reading it? Should I read it? If you want to be all day, go on. Oh, fuck you. If you don't want it to make sense, Ashley, read it. Right, okay. Anyway, like Lauren said, keep your slutty Sue's coming in

because we live for them, well, I do especially. Okay, a few years ago, me, a single mum, in a group of married friends was always being told i need to meet someone but i was really enjoying my own time so one of my friends said she would set me up with her husband's single dad mate perfect i said the only thing is i just want a friend with benefits get a vibrator and anyway at a friend's party after a few drinks i said go on then give me the guy's number like standard after a few drinks a few she got brave a few cheeky texts later i said come to this party then as my mate he turns up at the party he was clearly desperate for a shag literally turned up

straight away we went back to my friends who lives facing my children's school i went outside with this lad for a fag the next minute on the main road i've got his cock out and i'm on my knees sucking it in full view of the security cameras at my children's. I bet that staff room. Well, they're not just going to sit there

watching the video. No, but someone will have told them that. Let's hope. Must have made a good impression as four years on we're happily married. And if you want to see the video, it's on porn.

I'm only joking. Me and my husband slash friend with benefits listen to the pod every week and then text each other. Have you listened to the girls yet? i think my husband is more invested than me i love all three of you and dreading actually going on maternity leave i'm not she's not love to you all oh my god she's not that is always the way

like whenever you give that vibe of i'm not i'm not bothered then that's when they come also i'm not going on maternity leave i've sorted everything out good girl um and i'm having the baby on a monday so i can be back to it the following monday it's not good really though doing it on a monday when you know we're recording on monday like if if no because you're not doing it on a tuesday and then be back on monday fuck you oh by the way if i if i have another which i'm completely put off the idea again i go on and off which means it's not a good time um to to be doing it if i do have another one i am having maternity leave no you're not allowed because i've had two and i've not had any that's your show that sounds like a you problem okay we'll just finish the podcast when

lauren has baby right anyway next bit so anyway i am actually really really enjoying the slutty susans i like everything we get sent we get sent just like bad date stories just funny shit like love a bad date story tell the story that you sent the other day oh my embarrassing we love embarrassing god this girl was round um at this guy's house on like a second or third date she got to a point where they were just like having a few drinks at his anyway she went in the bathroom to freshen up as you do and there was some scales on the floor we all do it we all do it you see them and you're just like i do it anywhere and i hope that they're going to be like lighter than mine so i'm like maybe i'll buy those when she went back in the living room

it sent a notification on an app you know those scales that how much she weighed that's really embarrassing that's so funny the fact that he sat there and she's like i'll just go and freshen up And then he gets the text, oh, you wait. Do you want me to tell you another really weird story that's happened to one of my friends at the weekend?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I love stuff like that. She went out in London and got with this guy. I'll tell you who it is after. Okay. And then he was like, oh, don't tell anyone,

blah, blah, blah. And she was like, it's fine, I'm not going to tell anyone. So you mean they went home and had sex? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, okay. um and then he didn't want to tell him yeah how off-putting when a man says that like number one

why you asked yeah and like it's not big dick energy that is it's like little boy energy um and she was like god don't worry and then not gonna yeah not going to freak you weren't that good anyway um and then he left his phone at hers and his phone kept ringing ringing ringing so it got to like the evening and she was like he must know the phone is here like i'm gonna have to just pick it up and she picked it up and it was his wife fuck off and she was like oh he they came back like a group and he's your friend must have known it was his wife because it will have said on it like yeah yeah she did no yeah yeah because she was just like well i'm done with this yeah like yeah fuck i would have switched it off and thrown it out the window and she was just like

oh yeah a group of people just came back and she was like listen we've got an open relationship you don't need to lie she was like i've got a really really low sex drive so we've agreed that he can go out and what i bet your friend was not expecting that no are you ready for the next bit she didn't they turned up together as a three with the baby to pick the phone what they turned up husband wife and child to the place where he had been the night before doing the dirty and with the baby and just came and got the phone as if like yeah is there anyone else out there that's in an open relationship guys how does it work how does it start do you start as an open one do you go this reminds me i don't think you really love each other if you're

in an open relationship no there's different kinds of love yeah that's what i'm saying like as in my kind of style of love is not that yes i know i agree but i respect like other ones but mine is not that so do you know we were speaking about um i've mentioned it i think and i've certainly mention it to you about that program open house no i have whether you have to watch it ashley you will look i told you i told you so basically what channel i think for i may it is gobsmacking and i'll tell you who's on it do you remember those swingers on tiktok the younger couple with the brown hair there that must have been made up right because they went in there like we're just discovering ourselves and maybe it was from ages yeah maybe so basically there's a house it's the

weirdest thing there's this big house um like a farmhouse kind of thing and there's already loads of people in there now i don't think they're actors i don't really it's just weird and they're all bisexual bi-curious interested and they're the kind of ones that take in the couples when they come so then a couple comes in who is considering being non-monogamous open relationship whatever threesomes they're all in for different things some of them just want a threesome and they want to start trying that some of them want to try full open relationships so they come in they have a counselor mate you you will sit there and you will binge on it there's a few series i think and they sit there with a counselor and they talk about like their relationship and

why they want to do this so there's also always like really good juicy stories like why they've decided there's always one that wants it more than the other there is always and sometimes it's the woman quite a lot then they go and they have these parties it's a bit cringe but it's amazing they have these parties so they all have a little drink and then they pick one girl or whatever the situation might be it shows everything it's like blurred but everything and then they take and they actually fuck yeah so let me tell you about one of them so the one i've watched a few one of them they both wanted to be an open relationship so both of them went separately on dates that night knowing each other was going on dates one of them shagged the other didn't the

other couldn't do it couldn't stop thinking about the other one then they both came back to the room at the end of the night and he was like well did you and she was like yeah did you and he's like i couldn't stop thinking about you yeah another one another one did they stay together don't know another one they brought a girl back right to have a threesome to have a threesome they picked the girl they were chatting fleas cringe go back up to the room it's like that black camera you know where you can see in the dark and the girl starts going down on the other girl and he's kind of watching and then they leave the guy out and they're just getting and he's like lying there in the bed like and you can you can see the whites of someone's eyes it's just like this right and

they're like oh yeah and then he's like he can't get a boner then because he's like obviously not and then they make a joke about it right and then they just carry on and he's lying there and then they cuddle because his head's gone his head is gone he can't even get he can't get a boner anymore so then they make a joke like you're not ready for it or something like that and then they continue with all this because they're having fun because they're having fun and then they cuddle up the women and they go to sleep and he's lying there all night arms by side right then the next day they go to the therapy when they wake up in the morning the girl goes they wake up and you can see the woman waking up what did you think of last night and he's not speaking to her and she's

like because they were all pissed and she's like what did you and he's like you made me feel awful you and you don't why because he didn't he he she should have been able to tell that he wasn't enjoying himself but she just wanted to get a fanny licked this is the whole point of like threesomes and stuff like that if you're gonna have one you need to set all the boundaries and it has to be like planned fun which isn't fun which isn't fun for me so can i repeat that so lucas has just told us a story and said it's quite common in the gay world because he knows a couple and they're both madly in love with each other but they are both to use his words raging bottoms so that means they take it now since that before i met lucas i didn't know this

there is something called a bottom and something called a top i'm honestly fascinated and there's a verse which go either way a bottom means you are on the bottom so you take it off the bottom i'd be a top a top is a giver he's on top he's giving the penis and then you can get a verse which switches between now listen to this like dating isn't hard enough right you've then got to put in there a category it's another category so then it's halving again yeah so if you're both a bottom that ain't gonna work if you're both the top it isn't gonna work well as a well so as as like that is another thing i had no idea till i met lucas that that is actually a thing that you need to consider you might fall in love and then like i take it will i take it well if we were

getting married who would be the gift the bottom or the top i would be the bottom and you'd be the top yeah ash really wants to try pegging people oh my god if anyone would that be like a big man i want to do it to a big man can right there's two things would that be called cheating if i pegged someone yes yes jay said it's cheating if i snog a girl oh i've got something funny to tell you the other day me and ed were talking about something because there's like all this scandal of um you know that kyle and mauricio we've not spoken about that that is well i don't know what's true because keep reading different she's meant to be a lesbian now no well i read that but again we don't know if that's true so i was saying to ed what would you

rather i run off with another man yep or run off with a woman and he went run off with a woman so i can join in oh no yeah but i'm running off from you you can't we don't want you to join in and then we started this big argument no you're not joining because we've run away from you because i've left you for a woman you can't just join in we don't want you they think they're so wanted Yeah, they do, they do. I would like to hear from anyone the following things. Pegging stories, please. Right, pegging stories.

Have you done it? Did they like it? Why do you do it? Do you do it a lot? What was it like? Pegging stories. What's your partner like? Is it like a guy that you wouldn't expect to do that?

Secondly, open relationship stories, please. Yeah. I've got one more. Threesome's gone wrong. Threesome's gone wrong. I want to know about that. I've got one more. What?

So there's another couple come in and I personally think that they must have just been like best friends. So they go off to explore separately. the guy right so it's a married couple with children yeah they go off on dates separately the guy ends up in a little like a room with another guy they have snogging and wanking off from what i can gather from the two men together two men but he identifies this straight or he doesn't i don't know what i don't i think he's just curious he's just yeah i don't really know what he is he's whatever he wants to be i guess so he then comes back listen to the wife and she's

like how was it it's just it's the like best friends it's just for me i'm too possessive for this and they sat there and she goes did you and he goes yeah we kissed and then we went to each other off and she was like oh my god and how was it it was just and now i'm not saying there's anything wrong with i just for me would be like you fucking what and she was he was like i quite liked it and they were married with kids now i just i'd like to know more about this so if you're having the mum and dad on that program that's what i thought so basically if i was ever in a relationship and my partner or husband or anyone turned around to me and went i want a threesome i'd be out would you i'd be done i sexually like the idea of it and me and james often say the

idea is great and this is what this guy was saying on this program he was like yeah he's gonna get ripped now by the way this guy watched porn yeah because all his friends are gonna be like you fucking melt you had two women and you couldn't get a but you know what's gonna happen yeah so he said on the show he was like you would think two women what more could you want he said but it just wasn't all that right we've gone on a real weird one there open house watch it tell me what you think ashley i promise you you will binge on that and you will lauren and james for the next series you know loads of people keep tagging me in big brother they're looking for people i'd only do the celebrity one and i'm not famous so it's not gonna work um okay so yeah

we've gone on a weird one today pegging stories you're not allowed to do big brother because you'd miss the podcast yeah good point i'd have to do it from the diary room right anyone that wants to tell us about pegging or open relationships please do and tell us from it because i think sometimes we sit here and we share our opinion please don't think that we we welcome we're closed-minded because we've not we don't know dug deep yeah enough into it so well we welcome you telling us more and then we might change our minds on it like we're always are you gonna come to killing kittens valentine's party with me you'll have just had the baby yeah you're okay maybe i don't know it gives me anxiety lukey's coming with me anyway aren't you lukey

hell yeah right we love you all very much love you love you and have a lovely week if you're feeling rubbish for any reason then pull yourself out of it we love you goodbye