Nip Tuck - Pets, Paris & Price Tags

Episode Date: June 3, 2026

There's a big issue with unwanted guests this week. Ashley's had some 4 legged friends breaking into her house and the kids think they've struck it lucky with free pets. Lauren's taken her daughter to Paris for her dream weekend, but ended up spending it not quite how she'd imagined and a great deal more in debt. Plus we've got ANOTHER listener with an unwanted guest downstairs... You guessed it, BV! Luckily Ashley & Lauren have got a solution. The girls also talk about the troubling accusations facing MAFS and share their top recommendations in What We Bought This Week.Head over to our socials @niptuckpod and click the link in our bio to find our YouTube, where full video episodes will be released every Wednesday at 5pm. If you're a Patreon member or Apple Podcast Subscriber, you get the Wednesday main episode the day before at 5pm, but if you're a Patreon member, you'll now be able to watch the Friday Bonus too!Get in touch with your questions, dilemmas and Slutty Susie's via our Whatsapp or email [e-mail]

They had a muesli and it's stunning. A muesli? Stunning. I got some muesli from Ikea. Anyway, right, where do we even... Ikea? What the fuck? It's probably the cardboard, like, from the fucking... Honestly!

Flat patterns. Fucking Al Lauren. What the fuck? Would have been better sticking with the Hermes appointment. Would have cost... So, I said to a babe, I love you, right? 20 quid for strawberries. I didn't get them.

I just... I couldn't. So, by the time you've got the cream, the hot chocolate and the strawberries, it's like 60 quid absolutely yeah for one person as soon as saskia's eyes open oh yeah i would love yeah that try it in your garage i'm scared she runs downstairs and i'm just like there's gonna be no one and there was an actual mouse in it i'd have lost my shirt guys hi and welcome to this week's episode of a nip tuck lauren how are you she just went of a nip tuck of a nip of a nip of a nip tuck i'm all right you know i'm sat quite comfortably

with one foot i look like i've only got one i just jeans are so not comfy no they're not and Oh, my God, that belt is stunning. Thanks, I've got it in brun. Brun? I've got some form of stain here, or is it like a stain on the denim? It looks like bleach. Where are those jeans from? These jeans are H&M, and they're a wide leg,

and they're a slightly high waist. Do you know what, though? My waist is gone. I've never had one. I know this. But, like, gone. What do you mean? So I'm trying to work out whether it's because my hips have gone less.

I've always been quite boxy. i'm a fully i'm a box now when you have a baby your hips expand they've gone back then they know then they go back and that's what causes you know hip dips yeah so you get that like oh yeah because they go back so quick but i know someone that had the rib remodeling oh my god this isn't even in our chat we need to talk about that hold it because i've got it's a good chat we're gonna to do a deep dive on yeah which we've just added into the episode there sorry lucas right first of all what is coming up this episode so i'm going to tell you about my little trip with paris with paris with paris fury no no with fear to paris i took a trip to paris ashley is now in

selfridges not her herself her product although it wouldn't surprise me if you weren't now and So Ashley has now gone to Selfridges. She's moved in. She's gone. We're going to talk about what we bought this week and we're going to deep dive into another BV dilemma. There's a lot of them. I feel like, is it the season for BV?

I don't know. Maybe, perhaps. It's getting warm. Sweaty knicker season. Right, first of all, tell us how people can get in touch and tell us everything that we want to. Okay, so basically, head over to our Instagram page at NickTuckPod.

Click on the link tree there. All of the ways to get in touch are on there. you can send us stuff in anonymously don't worry we won't know who you are if you send it in on email or whatsapp it goes straight to luki lucas yeah and yeah he's a very good gatekeeper yeah your secrets are safe with him we get it but we don't find out who it is and we don't care no who it is we just want to hear the shit no judgment no judgment no and you can email us go over to nip tuck pod on instagram all the shit's on there and you can watch us on youtube as well can't they fucking hell it's hot i think it's you okay right thanks that does look like a

very very warm it's a warm thing that you've you're very layered am i sweating you are okay a little bit should we take this off how do you take it i mean why are you asking me if you're sweating you don't feel the wet no you're not you're not it was a shadow but you do need to shave your armpit a little bit i actually i need my estrid razor i did a full body shave this morning actually this morning yes i know but last night i just looked at the situation in the crotch and it was just too much for me to handle in the evening i thought i'm gonna deal with you in the morning i couldn't be arsed when you've had laser hair removal and then it all comes back after you've had a baby yeah my pubes are back yeah yeah that reminds me i put it on

instagram you might have seen it james right this so we're going on holiday tomorrow and i have done a good wife job and literally ordered his entire m&s by the way clothing wardrobe he doesn't he turns up and the sets are matching the shoes the cat the sunglasses i've not done my own right and and I was like, we'll get some videos of you, la, la, la. I went into the bathroom. Hashtag ask. Hashtag please, M&S, pick us up. It'll pay for his outfits.

Yes. And you're educating everyone else. Exactly, and he's fit, and TikTok seemed to like that, and we'll talk about TikTok in a minute, because fucking hell, I don't get that. So, he starts, I go upstairs, and he's in front of the bloody mirror with one of those electric razors, not like a Bic,

and he's taking his entire beard off. Yeah. Bastard. Bastard. Yeah, but will that not only take like three days to grow back? I went up and I went, what are you doing? What are you doing? I thought, wow, you are controlling. You're like, yeah, like imagine if he was like,

don't cut your hair. Yeah, if I imagine if I dyed my hair and he's like, why have you done that? You don't look good, that colour. And I went, why have you taken your beard off? He went, it's getting longer, is it? She was like, do I not look all right without it? I was like, of course you do, you're handsome,

but you look better with a bit of a stubble like everyone does. Then he starts doing his pubes. He does one line up the middle of his pubes. Where's all the hair going? On the floor. ew they're so scruffs

fucking scruffy bastards isn't that like a reverse Brazilian yes and then he's like oh just for just for fun because it's funny

because then you can then he can wave his willy and then he can wave his willy at me like look at my yeah yeah yeah cool

and then he's raised his thing ran out and he couldn't find the right charger so the kids were in bed by the way he's then running up and down the stairs

naked with a big mohican out of his pubes in the kitchen which we have no blinds and then he's doing it In the kitchen, I'm never eating at your house. No, well, you wouldn't anyway because I can't feed anyone anything. Last night, I said to James, when are you home?

I need to eat my dinner. And he was like, I can't eat. I can't cook. I can't do anything. I can't cook. Do you want to come to my house and I'll teach you how to cook? No, I don't want to know. Why?

Because this is the one job that he can do. He can cook. Like when you pretend you can't make tea or coffee. Yeah, so that you're like, I'm not very good at doing teas. And then they go, do you know what? I'll leave it. And you're like, good. Or make a really shit one.

I'll make a shit one So I'm never learning to cook Because I don't want That's why you just stick To the Domio Domio sauce And if he doesn't want that Then he can cook

I think that's quite good Fucking disgusting Sorry Lucas Do not ever Ever look at me like that When you eat Cocoa pops for grandma It's got bits of ham in it

I had my cocoa pops this morning Thank you very much And he eats Frosties sometimes Love Frosties Ew Do you put sugar on top No Oh disgusting

There's new cereal actually That I've seen Have you seen everyone talking about it It's called something like Captain Pete's I don't know i've seen loads of mummy influencers and apparently it's a cereal for kids but without shitting probably i need to order that because they do love her like novel oh my god they love

cereal yeah yeah captain something and apparently it's not bad in the school holidays of like easter and stuff i get mine those mini boxes that is not variety comes in packs of eight and then and then they all fight over do you remember the multi pack that is giving me such nostalgia and then do you remember like when i used to go on holidays like spain or somewhere at the breakfast buffet do you have the mini boxes oh and you it'd be such a novelty i don't know they even still did them um well in my what i bought this week i'm actually going to tell you about this online like organic shop they don't have cereals in a box like that surely they had a music and it's stunning I got some muesli

I got some muesli from Ikea Anyway, right, where do we even Ikea, what the fuck It's probably the cardboard From the fucking Flatpants Fucking Al Lauren, what the fuck It was cheap, you know

It was quite cheap, and I got some biscuits Honestly, I just lost my head By the time I left Aldi I'd lost it, I nearly bought the fucking meatballs So that's just saying something That would be fine That would be absolutely fine So I would go to Ikea now to eat the meatballs.

Do you buy the sachets? Well, you can buy the meatballs and the gravy and the cranberry sauce. Yeah, the gravy sachets. They don't call it gravy, they call it cream. Right, but M&S have those new meatballs, the three ingredient ones. Ah, yes, yes.

So I will show you how to do an at-home. So you get the Linden Berries, they are from Ikea, right? But you can get them from wherever. then you get the m&s three ingredient meatballs then to make the sauce i know how to do it two oxo cubes in about 30 mil of boiling water shake it up um and then cream done cream it's that simple that's it that's it really right i always buy the sachets and then i could get don't you ever take the piss out of me for the dolmio sauce when you put sachets and that's got bits

of fake ham in it that's rancid you are right I've not done it for ages I felt really guilty and ashamed afterwards I've not done it I felt awful

so I've not done it now it's ruined it did he do the old Nutella pot for the holiday as well the Nutella pot his arsehole oh you scruff

you disgusting man have you ever had a back sacking crack no I do it myself do you remember it was like a trend I did it yesterday

with wheat I've left it so long literally like one whack and I looked at the like the razor that was like mine this morning honestly it was like it was like shaving bigfoot bikini wax of you yeah i used to do my own so when i used to do waxing and i was really good at it i used to do my own and i used to do right down the side of the labia like because you have to hold it in like waxers will get this um waxers will understand this you have to hold it like this

like if you can see on camera like you have to tighten it well yeah because especially now this reminds me right so last night so anyway what we've got coming up a load of shit let's get into it so last night i was using one of the cc body pads fantastic i've got a spray tan later my old one hasn't gone so i scrubbed and then i thought that would get off the barbara so i'm doing it and i ended up in front of the long mirror in the in the bathroom which i didn't buy it was already there so i was like naked leaning forward and i was trying to get around the back of my legs and i looked i caught i have never seen anything as grotesque in my life i looked through my legs i didn't know that happened down there really it did not look like it i last looked

why i don't know if it was the angle volume loss the volume loss it was like someone who'd had cheek filler dissolved so um the girls on our patreon thing yeah we're talking about that they had bought that kegel eight machine right so that's for the inside which i actually am gonna order one it's it's a form of tightening the muscle yeah but also you know you can still get like a prolapse and stuff even if you've um sorry i need to go and get checked because even if you've not giving birth naturally because now i've had the pressure for babies for like four years pressuring my inside so you have to keep it all strong i'm doing it now no but this thing you put it in at night and just switch it on it does it does it for you yeah kegel kegel eight or something

guys can you feed back to us but the girls on patreon were saying that and then someone said well i need help for the outside bit yeah and then they were like well you could try your zip you zip halo or your medicube what a great idea you would have to be very careful but i did i looked and i just thought oh there's a gynecologist that i follow on instagram i'll pop it um in one of our chats and he is a really famous american gynecologist and every day he does different surgeries and he's like today i have a 36 year old mum of three perineal repair like this that the other he can do anything anything down my fat transfers then he'll show you at the end what he took out oh like um like a bacon like a handful of bacon like my dog it seems like such a nice

man as well it would be because he spends all day like messing with yeah he's like yeah it'd have to be a certain kind of guy but yeah i don't know i it was just a shock maybe i've just never looked and i just felt really bad for james i thought i'm so sorry well if it's if it's all hanging out at least we can get a show sponsor of hillary's blinds i just i've just never seen some blinds i've just never seen anything like it i i just how's the house shit going so yesterday we began the actual house shit so it's all been very well like moving in and it's like we're doing a reno we're doing a reno now we're doing a reno and now i understand when people say it's incredibly stressful i was a bit like yeah i'm sure it'll be fine it it's a lot it's the it's the mess so

he's taking like not in your own home this is my problem and you know what i'm like about my home it's my like and i like it all organized tidy clean and it's just not and i walked in and james was head to toe in dust he like looked like gray and there was rubble everywhere so obviously we've got the baby can you not get a hard-on please over this lucas so we've got the baby and i thought where can i couldn't put him anywhere nowhere downstairs it's too big for a carrier now it's too big for a carrier so i'm like what do i do with him so i'm carrying him around so then i thought well put him in the high chair give him some snacks that normally works but it was too close to the dust so i'm like shit so i had to go upstairs and hide in a room i left my house this

morning and there was four vans on the drive so i can't even park my own car on my drive no i'm like that that's what mine's like then there was men doing work on the landing there's men in the bathroom there's men downstairs and there's dust everywhere and there's and it's ruined my hoover yes because then and you know what james does do you know what actually plug here if they want to sponsor us henry hoover that's the one it's so good supposedly the henry's the one to use when you've when you've got really good i love the g-tech we've spoken about that but this is so basic but it's bloody brilliant my g-tech hoover and i'm fuming because it's a lovely hoover it's a lovely hoover anyone that has used that hoover in my house has bought that it's a lovely

hoover it's a very fucking good it is so henry yeah and also you can get because they um tommy's obsessed with the henry you can get kids henrietta or whatever she's called so my mom's got him a little baby one and it's and it does do a bit so actually you're getting them to do work so one thing i'm really keen to do anyone got any feedback on this i want a robot hoover yes and there's a robot floor mopper the hoover i don't mind really mixed reviews i think it depends on the brand they're about two grand some of them the one i get like chinese ones but is it does it matter how good it like the one i saw right mopped as well no yeah you can get um and some do windows where you stick it on the window and it'll do the whole window i've never you can get

a rumba for which is like the main brand i think 600 quid no like 279 that's not gonna be good surely the shark one's meant to be good the one i saw was really expensive i've never cleaned a window you know are you meant to clean the insides of your window i've never done i've never cleaned a window never i didn't even know you had to clean the inside of a window what of course you do the kids when they touch the window i just don't look at the window you don't have like a bottle of the windows glass cleaner i do you know i clean most things with glass cleaner because it does isn't that a hack and the best one is window lean the blue one do you know it also gets like the grease off like yeah it's the best window cleaner is the best all-round i've never ever cleaned the

inside oh my god no i need to tell you something what there's mice in my house i couldn't even look no there's more we caught these videos and i couldn't even here's a picture of ashy's new pet right right tell us the story from the beginning so sarah was like to me my housekeeper she was like there's like holes in some of the kids toys so basically the kids playroom at the minute is in the garage i'm trying to figure out where the playroom is gonna be because i want the garage to be my bigger office yeah the playroom you're like i don't really want to give them that room i've given you my whole life like exactly like what playing playing or play your room like i've got a room to sit on my phone yeah like i agree i'm like i don't really want to give you a play

room um so anyway there was like holes in shit and she was like i think there might be some kind of a mouse so i was like right so i went on amazon and i ordered some humane mouse catchy yeah they're like a clear thing yeah we don't have to kill them i said to the kids guys there might be a mouse um and they all saskia put a sticker on each one like snowy teddy sass and the game and they got so excited no and you know what she said this is amazing because it means we get a free pet oh and i fully thought there's not gonna be we're not gonna catch anything so i put a block of cheese this is such cartoon stuff i know like and it was like a saturday night so me and ed was like what are you doing now fuck's sake so i put each kid put its thing where they

thought the mouse might go and you like leave the door open and then put the cheese in anyway the next morning like as soon as saskia's eyes open oh she's like mouse yeah fear would love yeah that try it in your garage i'm scared she runs downstairs and i'm just like there's gonna be no mouse and there was an actual mouse in it i'd have lost my shit i'd have lost my even if it was contained i would have lost my shit no then so i was like there's a mouse and then what was it doing it had eaten all the cheese so it was hungry like yeah um was it organic cheese i would not have given it my god no i would not have given it the expensive cheese it's so expensive so i I put it in my family group chat

and my dad was like, Ashley, you need to take it at least two miles away from the house or it'll come. What? Like a cat? Like they know the home? They come back? I don't know, but I googled it. Oh my god, please don't tell me you were driving with mice in the car.

Yeah, so Ed took the mouse with the kids to a farm and released it. And then we've caught another one. Right, I... And that one went to work with ed and he dropped it off somewhere on his way to work right so i i understand that this is a really fun game and it's really cute for the kids no no i bought precautions right okay so

basically obviously you could get like rent-a-killy people in which i think the chemicals must be so bad for the fat for the house yes i don't really know how they do it yeah like chemicals like ew gross so what i've done is i've bought ultrasonic sound machines yeah so basically these what no i it's a thing isn't it lucas so basically i've put i'm gonna see how this goes now i've put ultrasonic sound machines all in this room because there's this sound wave that is so high that we could never even hear like that makes them like not want to come in right so he's like dogs there's like dog whistles isn't there like things like that so it's to do i'm surprised with your whatever that you can't hear it do you know with your like

so if i turn weird over the next few days there's something a dark cloud really pissing me off no even last night i was like to ed you're breathing i think to my sister the other week i'm concerned i'm concerned that we will find out if you are we will find out if you are truly mental if you're lying in bed and only you and the mice are like yeah yeah because you can hear it so can i just ask though is there like a family of mice do they go to school like are they like i don't know there mustn't be that many because i've only caught two think about it like this you've only just moved in you're you potentially have moved into their house they were there first like what

a bitch they might be trying to find a machine that you don't like so you know these mice do you not think you should ring a proper company not to kill them necessarily but to deal with them because that, I can't. Yeah, but they would have done what I've done as a first point of call. Can we not put something every, do you just live with, I don't get it. I thought they came in, they did some things.

There's mice everywhere, but we just don't know. We had the rat man out. Oh, well, we know that pest control are crooks. Some of them. Rat man actually told me a really, and more stories when he came out and I forgot to tell you guys on the pod. So did we pay rat man?

no so the second so basically we thought we had rats thea saw one in the garden but it was because james was messing with bushes um and i got the rat man out straight away the good rat man the ones that helped my mom if you don't know the rat man story listen back and he came out and he told me some really interesting stuff and what he did is the bad rat men he caught them in the house they did like a rogue trader on them yeah they set cameras up so what they did is there was this old couple and bad rat men had been saying that they had rats for months making them pay because they were quite well off a fortune some people have got a real phobia like so they were playing on it yeah they were going upstairs into the attic and they were going yeah they're still here they're

still here we're gonna have to do this this this this then they happened to ring good rat man and good for a second a pin good rat man went upstairs and was like not one single rat so he said this is what we're gonna do ring them now tell them to come around and check i'm gonna pretend i'm a neighbor so he sat there took all his uniform off bless him for free moved his van he was so angry oh he's so passionate moved the van sat there and waited for them to come in then he went send them up to go and check it i'm gonna get them up there so up that nasty rat man goes up yeah still here he runs up that's like a child yeah a child villain got a nasty rat man running up the ladders and then he followed him up the ladders so it was just them in the attic

and he was like i need to tell you something i am from i am the right man and there are no rats in here be gone and they sued him so this bad rat men have been at it the bad rat man sued no the good rat man sued the bad rat man so just be careful if you're looking for rat men any advice welcome guys put on my i'd rather a mouse than a rat right we have how was paris oh amazing but heavy a lot like we we got up at three it was a very like short turnaround now we got in we got up at 3 a.m um and we were sicky feeling we got up really early got there um what i what i always recommend now and i feel like you might someone's taught me this normally you get to the airport you get a taxi you get an uber whatever get your hotel to send some a driver it was barely any more

money and someone was there with a sign like i know it sounds obvious but i never did that i never did that i just used to get there get get a taxi and because i thought it'd be miles more money why and it wasn't and he got in the car and the car had like a little film because it's an hour it is a long journey um and we had such a good time the only thing was which at one point i honestly thought this is hell so it was raining on and off and i tried to pre-book the eiffel tower guys if you're going to paris i'm talking months in advance get it booked because and i didn't think she'd want to go up it because i thought no she's dead it's not very um it's quite uh not for me rough around there yes she wanted to know it's actually really scary yeah there

It was a couple of homeless people. You weren't wearing your watch, were you? Yes, and I didn't realise because we saw a friend of ours on the way there and she was like, Lauren, I don't mean to, you've got your watch on. No.

So what I did is just fully covered it. Like, I had it fully, fully covered because it was paranoid. There's like, literally, round near where the Eiffel Tower is is like the red spot for like all kinds of crap. Like, the people that scam you

with the balloon pictures or something. Yeah, it wasn't too bad but it was a little bit. So we get to the Eiffel Tower, it starts raining and I was wearing the most inappropriate i had fishnet bloody shoes on this really thin knit i don't know what it was an anorak backpack it was an anorak jeans hood yeah so we get there and the queue was huge and

i thought she won't want to she won't want to no one babe do you actually like we've seen it now oh my god amazing let's go for a hot chocolate she's like i want to go up it i was like you know when one eye goes really i said are you sure yeah i want to go up it you can book dinner at the top of it though yeah but what you've got to do it way in advance guys so i looked at the queue and i said there i think we're going to be looking about an hour and a half here babe yeah cool and i wanted to scream it was her day it was her day so we get in this queue shit i have it has been a long time it has been a long time since i have you're a better woman than me it's been a long time since i have felt such desperation and heart heartbreak i was stood

in the queue for two hours she just said like she was so excited it was freezing and when i say freezing my back hurt by the end because i was your bones were tense i was doing this i couldn't even go on my phone was it worth going up to the top well then i had a funny turn when we got up there i had a funny turn the stairs or the elevator so we got in the elevator so two hours and i really mean two hours pissing down freezing it was hell and i kept thinking this is probably one of the worst moments of my life and she was like so i just obviously couldn't tell her she was going are you cold mummy and i was like no was she not cold no because i dressed her appropriately um anyway we get in and we go in this lift and i'm thinking this is fucking shit

this is shit this i hate it i hate it and i went and then we get to this first floor and i we went over i want to look at the view and i was like mate we get over and it's very safe it's very closed i looked out and my knees started knocking i thought i'm gonna pass out like i don't know i had a funny fucking turn for like yes when you look down you think i'm gonna go i was going like this right and she's going look at this and i was going yes nice and i thought i'm gonna pass out so i was going mommy's having a bit of a funny moment and she was like looking i was like i'm having a bit of a funny do is there any and i was going like this you know across the edges of everything holding on it was and i think because i'd been freezing for two hours i was

like your body and my body and just anyway then she goes i said right this has been amazing shall we get the lift down i'd love to walk down the stairs mom no and i just went i went okay but i'm having a little bit of it shall we get in there she went i'd like to walk down she didn't give a fuck so then i said it does say 10 minutes to walk down and she was like that's fine so we go down these steps and i am holding on to the side like an old lady like shaking all the germs on there as well that wasn't like this point it was survival like i was i thought i couldn't if i looked over the edge my legs were going i was you know when every stop you make every step you take my legs were shaking i was holding the bar when kids ran past me i was going like this slow

down because i was just gone and she was running out i was and then we got out and honestly i was like this it was horrific guys fucking horrific but apart aside from that the good things the jellycat cafe everyone told me to go to the jellycat cafe um and no we had such a good time so can i just say as all and i get it now as i'll tell you as all this is going on right and i'm shaking i get a text have you booked an appointment at the hermes i was like no i don't even know where i am but girls if you are going i didn't so not for she wasn't saying it from the side of your chances yeah go and get it and then you can resell it no it's like winning the lottery if you get an appointment so you go on this website and you have to go on the website between

i think it's 8 a.m and 3 p.m the day before right it opens up and you input your passport details your phone number it's all free you don't put like right anything else on and then you get an email at eight o'clock that night saying you've been successful and how did they decide it's supposedly totally random and it's like a one in now you're making me feel annoyed that i didn't do it and then we so then you go and if you get offered a bag offered a bag then you get the bag and then you can but shouldn't resell it should you choose you can do whatever whatever you choose yes um no we didn't do that but we went to i've never been able to get an appointment oh i wish i'd done it now because it would have really you would have been absolutely

jealous i get my ed's phone do you like anyone comes with phone and i'm like we all are trying and then trying to get in no i think that would have overstimulated me even further at this point but we went to Jolly Cat Cafe which an hour's queue. What? Can you not book? No. And you queue up.

It's so weird that you can't book for these things because kids don't want to queue. No and this is the problem and then so we did that and they do this thing

where they put the salt and pepper on it and pretend to make it up and there's a guy and he's like right guys come on. I've seen videos of it. It's cute

but I mean so we did that. Is there a Rainforest Cafe in Paris? I don't know. We went to Pink Mama which was even theatre

because kids aren't really that into food are they she was like oh mummy it was did you book that booked that had to pay a deposit um then we went to correct correct correct so we went the night before we went on tiktok and we looked at like little viral bits and she was like i want to do that i want to do that and they do this hot chocolate and you get like a dish like a silver scene yes and it's full of cream then there's one full of strawberries then the hot chocolate comes and you can use the cream to make it it's beautiful but again you're looking like an hour queue but i managed to go there's two sites she didn't know that this wasn't the original site so i didn't say anything and we went in the morning and we didn't even the traffic is wild but let me

tell you so we're looking at all this stuff just the hot chocolate alone was like 20 quid right and you just got hot chocolate which wasn't even that nice and a thing now she was like but the strawberries the strawberries i was like let me just look on the menu fuck off 22 euros for the strawberries would have been better sticking with the hermes appointment would have cost so i said to a babe i love you 20 quid i didn't get them i just i i couldn't so by the time you've got the cream the hot chocolate and the strawberries it's like 60 quid absolutely yeah for one person yes and she didn't like the hot chocolate because it's bitter i knew she wouldn't She wanted to do it.

You've got to do it. Have you seen those massive croissants? No. Yeah, they're like that big. Oh, I missed that. She had a croissant. We did a bit of that and then we went back

and this is my favourite. We went back to the room and we ordered an Uber Eats McDonald's. Stunning. And we watched Daddy Daycare in bed and I just shook. So enough of my weird... I had a great time, by the way.

Thea had an amazing time. Enough of that and I came home to a roast dinner. Stunning. Walked through the door and James had done a full roast. How nice. and he'd had all the kids on his own all weekend what a guy yeah but what a guy but what if it was

a woman you wouldn't say what a guy if they'd had the kids all weekend edward never though lauren no it is what a guy but do you know what i mean it's like no one says what a woman i'd get back to like skid marks down the toilet him asking what i need to tell you something really funny so i was on the phone to tom i don't know if you heard it he's not listening luckily so tom's our um podcast manager and lawyer as well he's lovely but it's quite you know serious it's a serious conversation it's on the phone team yesterday right and oh he's listening fuck right and i'm sat in my room because the only place i can hide is on the edge of the bed near the wall and i'm like this on my phone because everyone finds me everywhere else and i'm like

yeah no no yeah and they won't fuck off and they won't fuck off and you can't say fuck off because you're on the phone it sounds like you're a bad mom and like so she walks in and i don't know the tom did you hear i don't know if tom heard this so i'm like yeah no no really serious she comes mom and i went and she went this is the skid marks in every toilet i just went okay what have you not bought loo brushes yet no nothing but there's skid marks in every toilet and i just that's something when you move house you have buy a new loo brush for every just and i just went like this to her supposedly loo brushes are really unhygienic some people yeah i think right i am not against a loo brush well how else do you clean the toilet at certain times plastic

special like plastic ones right guys can you send us any loo brush recommendation so from loo brushes to something let's like let's just make this a little bit selfridges so so cosmetic consults in selfridges now and we launched last week it's pretty much all sold out so they just put another order in yesterday just really struggling with getting stock at the minute because the eye masks are really really popular but they're from korea so why does it this is what i don't understand why like did is it because more sold than you expect like why do you yeah and obviously like i'm only a small business to put place an order ah you need the money there to place the money yeah and you have to buy in a certain amount is that right there's a minimum

quantity right so because i was like just get more yeah and that's not that simple it's not that simple it's not no okay and then because they're from korea if they were from like china i could have them in two weeks right because they're from korea it takes like eight eight weeks yeah wow that's a long time can someone not just fly there and get so popular at the minute with skincare there's a lot more like testing and could you not fly could someone you could fly them but then your margins go down because you have to fly them no i meant you what like thousands of boxes ah no no i've thought of all of these things so anyway yes a few of you could go we're doing an event you're invited buddy i can't go i can't it's not i've messaged frankie

it's fine um it's peak five kids at home it's sold out in like half an hour that's incredible i saw that it's crazy because i didn't think it would so i'm doing an evening with james atkinson oh i love james love james atkinson at selfridges so that'll be really nice great so what will it entail like so i get to meet everyone we're gonna do like um a chat about skincare and it's it's all about like community people get to ask questions they're fully redeemable the tickets on their purchase so they come away with something with something i get to meet everyone because it's quite it's not that intimate it's quite so will it be 60 people that's really good so will it be a bit like look fantastic where you're kind of on the chairs and there's people

right and then you'll talk about the about everything product skincare people get a little what's next oh what's next okay then yeah they get a really nice gift i was gonna say do they get a little ticket is redeemable that's really good i think that's fair i think so so the next event i'm gonna do is gonna be in london we are getting a bit of shit on patreon about not doing enough in london and i get it but you're heavily like it's not that easy for me i'm actually speaking at an event in london next next week right sxsw really excited about that and i'm speaking about like ai technology beauty all kinds of different things then we might be well we i kind of put it in patreon the other day because i got a bit excited so we are

we are we're doing something we're doing something and do you know what it's going to be it's just because lauren had a baby then i got pregnant so it's all our fault it's all our fault we've been really busy like procreating but guys can we just say like i feel so so bad like when i say to everyone on um the subscribers for cc and on patreon i'm like here is the link you get 48 hours notice like on anything yeah then for the event stuff like that once the tickets are gone guys like they're gonna be gone for this one as well because it's not gonna be a huge event what we want to do is we want to

strip it back and just get pissed with you all so like how many fun times have we had like when all the events it's not a show

it's not a show the best bit is after when we're on the tables and even after when we did the Christmas one we were dancing we want to see everyone we want to see everyone

so we're going to do something we want to thank you all yeah we want to do something we want to get involved but people keep saying London I God's honest

I'm not sure we'll be able to do that just yet we will do London oh we will one manchester and check it out way in first yeah so we will announce everything as soon as we can on like a date so you can round up the troops and stuff like that yeah but bear with us but like i said once they're gone they're gone yeah and we can't pull them out of our bottoms sadly everyone

was fuming when i posted my eye patches i'm such a bitch i know i rang the warehouse and i was like i know we've not got any left but please please can we yeah i've got i've got i i've got oh my god someone really famous dm'd me last night right tell me after her i'll tell you after she's just looked at tom as if to see in case she's gonna get done really fucking random like hey girl can i try them and so i'm sending them to her how famous yeah like really famous you'll be like that's really strange right well hopefully they'll post it and then we'll know molly may did she did organically yes molly may wore the eye masks for two hours and she said they were amazing anyway we've yapped so we're gonna go into a break and we will be back in a

minute guys we are back right something quite serious now um that you as always can enlighten me a little bit more about i've seen bits about it the maths drama okay so have you watched the panorama documentary right everybody sit but i will i love maths we've spoken about the bachelorette recently yes we did didn't we all the drama with that now maths basically i worked in reality tv and i've spoken about this a little bit not that much but i was a casting producer on big brother for two or three series worked for endemol who do a lot of reality tv i worked with derren brown doing like yeah production and casting and stuff like that so i know what like a wild west it is also recently there's been a lot of tragedy surrounding reality tv and i think it's a really

good conversation to have about like mental health i do think there's going to be some kind of expose more things are going to come to light because i know from like times when and you know this is completely like my experience alone but when i was on real housewives for example and i was just a guest right not like a full person and from watching other things unfold but i you'd go in and they would do things which they have to do it's a catch-22 like it needs to be entertaining tv watch it needs to be you know not like all curated and everything they need to put they need to throw in the match and let it go so they would say like right you need to be here and you need to wear this and they wouldn't tell you who was going to be there wow that is a head fuck

and then anything could unfold and they would behind the scenes of most reality shows and they wouldn't tell you and anything and nothing and then other times like i think to be fair with real housewives they did actually manage this really well they wouldn't let you have free alcohol you would get two drink tokens so to be fair it's on you then yeah if you're gonna take them yeah exactly because free alcohol is so easy to just well that they stopped alcohol on love island and my brother didn't yeah he went downhill with the pregnancy do you remember kate knows kinga that put the wine bottle up like that would never happen now and it would also have not happened if she was sober they used to be sick they were that drunk like how was that like wow

great imagine waking up like and everyone's seen that there and that's a nod to your mental health like we know what a come down is like we've been on a night out local exactly so then you'd wake up the next day if you had had even a tiny bit too much but oh my god what do you say you're like anxious everything so maths is heightened because your phone is taken off you yeah so from what i can gather it's like 10 to 12 weeks i think your phone is taken off you you can't contact anybody you have like someone that comes with you even if you go to the shop once you've got to the apartment stage like literally because what they want is you under a pressure cooker so you can't go home and like have a debrief with your mate and then feel a bit better now you don't want that

they want it all and you have to move well you have to you as part of the show move into this apart tiny like apartment in london and like one of the ladies so there's a panorama documentary have a look girls so you can make your own mind up on this but there's a panorama documentary about it and this lady's saying it's not very ethical because if you don't want to sleep in the bed that night with that person there's nowhere not another room to go into right so right i've got two two kind of thoughts now obviously what actually what the main thing is you want to know what actually happened a few people i'll a few people made allegations that during that time they were raped right so one was someone ejaculated inside when she said without not to do that yeah

then the other one was she i think said don't quote me on this but from the panorama thing that she it wasn't consensual sex right okay and one said that he was quite aggressive as well and quite we could see that off the program that he was like um really i don't know who it was because we want to be careful um the guy with the tattoos what it was no one of them they've not but one they have right okay and so their their argument i think is obviously that shouldn't have happened of course it shouldn't but that they weren't looked after properly and talked through it duty of care the duty of care if you are going to put somebody on a tv show uh you the girl actually got pregnant lauren what yeah so she that intercourse thing with the ejaculation

it got her pregnant the production team took her for the morning after pill and yeah she got pregnant and had to have a termination wow wow the trauma and then a few months later it comes out on telly and you have to re-watch and relive that trauma and you've kept your mouth shut until now i what do you think is going to happen with maths now then done finished over yeah that's it now done so the one that's just you're not remembering i did that reality tv program and we got it pulled oh yeah yeah i can talk about this now but i did a reality tv documentary about trolling yes with olivia ratwood yeah you did a little bit of it as well so she came on the pod we had her as a podcast yeah we could never release it years ago that's when we first met

yeah it was like an exchange it was an exchange and then you went on to actually go to london and be part they were gonna find no they did find out like who your trolls were so i had to go to london had to out of choice yeah went to london to meet this social media like lawyer expert person and he was like right these people have said this this this this this we can find out who this person is and did they read out to you what the comments were yeah it was fucking horrendous awful and my sister was with me and I just remember looking across the room and my sister was like in hysterical tears and then I got in the car and then like two weeks later I found out I was pregnant yeah and I rang my agent I was like I can't do this I said I don't want any of that

like so they were really good and they just pulled it didn't they yeah so that's why our live up episode never went out that's when we first met her but I think there's a huge thing here there's There's the side of not looking after people properly when they've been on reality TV, not choosing the right people. I do think they do background checks and I think they have mental health assessments, but I'm not sure they're always right.

Well, how would you know? But however, that's totally different to the side of the rape. These are all grown up people that can decide if they... But I think what might be useful is if someone that's been on the show previously, perhaps sits them down and is like... This is the truth.

This is how it goes. but everyone has a different experience and some people can handle certain things. However, the side of the sexual assault, there's no right, that's not even a... It's horrific, but the sexual assault side of it, that's got nothing to do with that. That is just a sexual assault

that potentially, potentially happened under a watch. Okay, I was speaking to Ed about this when we were watching it and he went to me, would you not think that any man that is willing to go on maths is a walking red flag? and i said um so chris me and jack were saying this we like i'm sorry i get why a woman would

be like because they want to find love and did it i don't think i think a man would be in it for the wrong and this is my opinion standing by it i don't i think that the type of man that would go on mass yeah i get generally generally like you'd get the odd like lovely one a lot of them would be a bit or they just want fame that's what I mean I don't think people go on that anyway

to really find love like let's be honest do you genuinely looking at the past as well how many people have got like married from maths

people go on it to be famous and to get either for their business or whatever they go on it for leverage that's it

and I really believe that I don't believe anyone at 30 odd or whatever you are go on that show really thinking that the one in a million person picked

is going to be right for them So what Ed's point was, especially with the man thing, he was like, what man can take three months off work? Yeah, because you have to take time off work. Yeah. And if you've got children, what do you do about that? I don't really know.

I don't know how it all works. I don't think you could go on it if you've got kids, surely. I think you can. You can. Do you? Apparently, there's 20 couples still going, so it's about 12%. That's actually, that's all right.

I am not going on a TV show for 12%, unless, I'd rather go on Hinge and all the apps. You've got a much higher percentage, unless you want to get famous do you who's the most famous person

on maths Ella Ella's very famous isn't she some of them do really well and some of them just don't

isn't the Australian one meant to be like massive it's really good the Australian one I've watched one why is it so much better

it's more shocking it's more no way right guys we have absolutely rambled so oh my god

the two men in the corner have absolutely they've gone white no that was mental right guys really quickly ignore her

going into labor so this is the shop that i was telling lauren about i follow this gorgeous girl on um instagram and tiktok her name's isa i z a and she does all of these glow juices she is you would be obsessed with her she looks like bella hadid stunning anyway there's this website called vilgain i think that's how you pronounce it and they do like all of this amazing organic really good value um like bits for at home like electrolyte ready-made drinks um like three ingredient ketchup popcorn you know what i find it really hard to to to know where to go for all this if there's one place you can go and be like bang bang bang ed does keto yes and he got loads of organic steak strips ah james is like snacks really into all that so yeah really really good

de la cruz vitamin cream so this bethany frankel recommendation can never go wrong with a bethany frankel recommendation this is an exact dupe for the creme de la mer off amazon can get it same day 15 quid we'll link the one size setting spray oh yeah do you know i've just bought what have you tried it so you know everyone goes on about the urban decay all night it's one of the best yeah So they've done a glow one. I don't know if it's good yet, but I've just bought it because it's too harsh for me.

So the one size setting spray is fucking incredible. It's alcohol based setting spray. If you are going to like a beach party or anything girls, like put it on, your makeup will not move. But H&B Cosmetics have bought a dupe out.

Right. Meant to be a dupe. 18 quid. Much more realistic. The one size one's 38 pounds. I'm sorry. I think 38 pounds is a lot. But a setting spray is going to last you.

absolutely ages the one size one doesn't because it's an aerosol it's like a hairspray right that's expensive right full disclosure on this one i am going to be doing some bits for the brand but basically give me hair products yes we have spoke about this so basically i was on the train home from london with one of the buyers from look fantastic a bit ago and i was like this is like my dream conversation like i was like right hair products what's the best yeah because she literally tries everything everything lily from lot fantastic follow her on instagram very good recommendations lovely lovely girl lovely lady um and she said to me actually this brand that um like i got sent to try fucking incredible really good value and she showed me

and i was like oh the packaging looks quite bright like that's exactly i don't mean to sound but i'm more like a muted tones in my no i get i i thought this i i get that however i tried the papaya i've not tried that one and oh my god the kids are obsessed with smells you want to eat it right not only that fantastic product she was like don't judge the packaging try it try it so we went on my dms and i think they'd asked to send me some stuff so i was like send it anyway tried it really impressed now they have bought out a new range and it's silver one silver it's a bond repair range right this is better than the market leader which is literally for like a 30 mil bond repair what is it now 70 quid 60 70 quid you can get the whole range from give me

i've got a code actually the code is ashley something and you can get the whole set for 40 pounds 40 45 pounds much more affordable so it's the silver range shampoo conditioner in a nice big bottle careful yeah wow a bond repair treatment and a serum so you've got your full range no lauren my hair it looks lovely i even take it to the hairdresser with me because i'm that obsessed with it girls on patreon you always come through with the recommendations and there was two that i tried and i reported back on patreon were always like try this girls look at this wow wow wow wow wow right the aldi magnum pomegranate washing up liquid so you will have seen it in the it's like 70p

and it says Magnum and it's red and I hide it underneath no the pomegranate one like Joe Malone

oh wow so you can fill up your thing with it wow and pretend it's something better gorgeous

the Waitrose truffle butter chicken Kiev oh that sounds a bit of me we were speaking about chicken Kiev the other day

I bet that's why someone put in stinky breath after don't give a shit gorgeous I got I don't know how to say this word

nooks or nukes nukes So you know the oil that they have? And it's so good. It's one of the best. However, it is messy. It's like a shimmer oil. You spray it everywhere and you have to wipe it in with your hand

and your hands get greasy if they've brought out a roll-on. That's life-changed. I saw it in the Paris airport and then I did a look fantastic order when I got home and you just rub it on. Is it in a glass thing? It's in a glass thing with a roller. So I've got that.

I'm going to use that on holiday, so I'll tell you what I think. Their hair oil is nice. Oh, is it? I've not used that. I also got the Caudalie SPF Invisible Body Oil. so it's so it's an spf body oil 50 shut but an oil so you're still getting like the shine and all the last lf yeah so i did a big lf order the other day i also bought which i've not written on here but i'll tell you they do a stick a 50 stick and it's almost like a balm do you know like yeah

it's like a balm and i just thought perfect for in the day on the high points a stick spf for the face is very good factor 50 i'll report back on that i got quite a few bits from them i didn't get the skincare i'll be honest i just got the the sun stuff for now because a lot of people going about it um i got tommy some holiday bits and a new backpack from natura baby i don't know how you say it like natural baby something like i can't pronounce it um she did actually send it me to be fair because i had already bought something else and it was it's a towel insert and then another um like sheepskin bag and just so cute some of the stuff it's like neutral for boys it's much nicer those backpacks with their name on so an essential especially for nursery

so helpful and it's cute as well like i don't like ugly boy clothes you can grab it um i got tommy's first shoes from clark oh you actually went to clark's i didn't go i ordered online i didn't go have you seen on temu you can order the kids foot measuring devices so i went online handy guys it was like use a foot measure i was like from where from where order a pack of temu and i've got a little cupboard with my batteries my tape measures all my charges they go in there so that's it i got his shoes from clarks and they're actually do you know what for boys it's really hard they're not the ugliest things i've ever seen they're light blue and white and they're actually all right and they're good for the food how

expensive is it though i bought him two pairs of trainers i don't know what i was thinking and then nursery are always like to me like she needs another pair of shoes and i'm like they're so expensive clarks if you want a club please please clark send me the shoes um so that's do you know what oh i got a load of jeans from mango i love mango jeans people forget about the hayley bieber mango right i mango is underrated they do a red jean as well now you know i'm obsessed with it megan wants red jeans for the world cup mango barrel leg gorgeous red jeans i haven't got them yet and i was gonna wear like a little white tee or a little i love red at the minute and apparently every time i post it people say i suit it so i will be head to toe in

i sent you that nice um plt set like i'm going to guys plt is having a moment again yeah they go up and down in my opinion the slub set slubs you told me to get the slubs did you get it i forgot i forgot because i'm always doing something else and i'm like i look at that in a minute and then plt is having a moment before we wrap things up let's do a dilemma lucas did this come through on email or patreon email i think it was email okay hi girls i'm 27 and i've been dealing with recurring bv for almost a year yeah awful i've been going to the doctor multiple times taking antibiotics change soap underwear everything recently my boyfriend told me he googled the symptoms and he now thinks bv only happens if someone's sleeping around yeah including you

you mate that's quite true ah yes he keeps making weird comments and asking who i'm seeing behind his back wow there's a bigger problem than the bv here i feel embarrassed and angry because i literally got diagnosed by my doctor and i explained it's not an sci how do i deal with someone who doesn't trust me over a medical issue fuck him off oh my gosh lauren those better bits yeah so two there's two elements to this here first element is how to kind of help you with this bv we spoke a while ago and everyone have gone has gone nuts for these and it's basically what was it what's the code we changed the code because it was something like smelly fanny it was terrible it's nipped up right so they are intimate probiotics for your vag specifically designed for

your vagina probiotics so probiotics are so important when you're keeping the ph right yes in that very intimate area and if you take these tablets consistently then it will really help to counteract the um the thrush the bv that kind of thing the full fanny issues your gut is so important with stuff like that so i would highly recommend these better bits um the code is nip talk yes so first of all let's try and get you not having bv all the time and i think that's really important the stay away from sugar yes because it's to do with bacteria smoking is really bad for bv my vape is totally different um so it's not the cause the second part of this is i don't like your boyfriend no i think he's horrible and i think he's not mature either a

mature man james would be like oh you stink of fish but no a mature man would be like oh shit babe what can we do to sort this out like do you want to try this have you tried that not are you sleeping around and also often if people accuse you of sleeping around gaslighting it's gaslighting is he sleeping around either way i think he's very childish and i think he's made you feel like shit over something that he shouldn't do and you need to fuck him off because i don't like him get the better bits and fuck your fella off nice nice right we love you very much guys just a quick on before we go please can you leave us a five star apple review we love you bye bye guys