Nip Tuck - She Put A Creme Egg Where?

Episode Date: September 13, 2023

Ashley's feeling the pressure of pregnancy (literally), so much so that she had a bit of an accident on the way in and shared it with Lauren and Lucas... (literally AGAIN). The girls share some back to school stories and have a healthy list of hacks for you.And one listener shares an office story that's led her to have PTSD whenever she sees a Creme Egg...To sign up for Patreon for more exclusive content and full video episodes, click this link: https://patreon.com/niptuckpodTo get involved with the show, you can send us a DM on Instagram and TikTok, find us @niptuckpod.Or you can email [e-mail] can also send us your beauty questions, icks, dilemma's and Slutty Susan confessionals via WhatsApp! You can text or voice note the girls on [phone] Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

hi guys and welcome to nip tuck not giving a fuck this is the podcast baby where we celebrate being positive aspirational women this is about being unapologetically yourself no fucks given none not asked are you not one bit nothing makes me ask do you do you get asked about anything rarely i was saying to james the other day while he was saying to me i've never seen you like massively arsed like whatever happens i'm like you did have that meltdown a few weeks ago yeah but it lasted like an hour yeah i'm fine i'm not arsed unless it's gonna kill me i don't care let it go let it go on nip tuck we want you to get your voice heard you can email us at hello at niptuckpod.com and you can also get in touch via whatsapp so that means your voice notes as

well we can play them out in future episodes or we can keep them anon and we will just read them if that's what you prefer all you need to do is head to this episode's description for more information on how to get in touch with us we want to know guys what's been getting on your tits beauty questions which we can answer embarrassing sex stories anything you want to know just get in touch basically we don't give a flying fuck we've had two weeks off because it was the bank hole i mean caledon so we've got quite a lot to catch up on yes we have so because we had a two-week gap i did something uh i decided that i had two weeks where i wasn't gonna be on camera and i made a lifestyle change oh yeah you did let me have a look no can you not honest to god

ashley i can tell so fucking much if you watch i think maybe after today's episode look at the old ones so basically i've had my filler dissolved like midface it was making me laugh when you're going i've had my filler dissolved midface down and lauren's still got the biggest lips in the world oh my god yeah no if anything my lips look even bigger now yeah don't they um so and before so basically this is what i did i'd got to the point where i've never dissolved any filler i don't think ever and i've been having filler on and off for fucking years yeah i've never dissolved any and the thing is you kind of add a bit more and then you think oh my chin looks a bit pop a bit more there because that's looking a bit wonky and it migrates it migrate look at the

can you see that and he's filling it anyway um and it does it migrates and what happened with me I was looking at myself I was thinking I don't look what I used to look like do you know what I mean like some it's not my face anymore and what had happened is chin filler it had kind of migrated here like there honestly you want to see the difference like I can it was my whole chin right from the side right there it had grown so much and it migrated around my jaw it was going underneath there and I just had a feeling anyway Charlotte at Skinner Dress who does my face she just said to me one day she was like i'm gonna say something now i think you need to dissolve your lower face and i was like so do i because when i smiled my chin was that wide it

was fucking massive and i just knew so anyway she said when are you next like when have you got a gap from recording because you're gonna look i can't say that word you're gonna look a dick so um i went in after recording of our last one and she dissolved my face so she used high high lays high lays um wow that really stung so it stung like a fucker she had to put loads in because we guessed that i had about four mil in my chin and jaw that's what we kind of worked out so you have to put 1.5 to every mil so she must have put like 10 mil of dissolving geez did it hurt i had loads of injections yeah it stung anyway sweat we knew it was gonna swell swelled up a little bit oh my god come here wait a minute guys just don't get my phone we'll add this

picture out there we're gonna save that yeah and no one's seen that for a bit i'm gonna say she looks like craig david off boo selector right so i get it i get it dissolved um and it started and we knew it was gonna swell we knew it was gonna swell um but nobody expected this anyway i facetimed ashley i was crying she was right you ready have you ever wait look at my mom my mom was crying laughing look lucas craig david it was huge james who never gets the ick with me got the ick he had he spent the whole night upstairs wouldn't come down he said lauren i've never ever got the ick with you since i've met you i've got the ick i can't like he stayed upstairs the whole night pretending he was

watching football in bed he just couldn't look at me i put a face mask on you know like a covid mask um and yeah anyway it went down and then i had no chin no chin and no jaw well i had a jaw but no chin and i literally looked like i had a receding jawline so she's put a chin so she's put a tiny bit in my chin and that's it i'm done and i honestly i need to show you some pictures so you can properly see the difference i wouldn't say if i couldn't tell that i feel a million times better like my jaw was so my chin was so wide so i haven't had any put in my jaw isn't that what molly may had as well yeah yeah similar so i didn't i haven't had anything put in my jaw i've just had a bit in my chin and i feel so much better for it my face looks longer it looks and

when i saw sam my friend the yesterday he said lauren you just look like you used to look like a few years ago like when i knew you when you were younger it looks the same ice on my life it doesn't on my life mate on my life if you feel good i wouldn't say it stunning so yeah that's what i've been doing what you've been doing nothing peeing your pants honestly i'm absolutely knackered i'm not sleeping well i've got a really bad back it's like that voice note i'm on my period um it's yeah it's a lot like it's a lot ed was away all weekend at the milan grand prix oh nice for him lovely for him right yeah yeah i wouldn't know who would want to go to fucking grand prix what for it's a man thing what to watch cars

like i do what i'm not a sport spectator i don't understand why people go to the races not one to get pissed yeah but it's shit i've been once what the fuck i don't get it i just stand there and i just think this is i could get pissed anywhere why am i studying i don't even like horses i just don't get it yeah yeah yeah and football don't get that either i don't get it i don't get it at all james is trying to make me go because he supports city and he's trying to make me go and there's just not a prayer that i'm going to a shitty football match no it smells of pies and ass like me i'd probably fit in i just i think i'd fit in i just not i just no way no way so um the baby's head yours not mine yes i was like what no not mine he's pushing on your bladder

yeah it's really like really pushing and i have wet myself this morning she wet herself so i was a bit late this morning so they came lucas and asha came in from costa you know like hey there they were and then she gave me took my hand rubbed her vagina with it to prove she pissed herself which i can confirm the smell in it she had and then i wiped it on lucas's face so basically ashley's pissed in lucas's face well you what how is it that disgusting but you wiping my hand on you oh i'm just so tired how many weeks are you going slowly 24 no mate this is this is dragging i've got like another like 13 weeks do you not think this is dry i felt like teddy went like that this is long so long like 24 still like i'm ready you've been 24 for ages i'm ready to like

go out and have fun but i worked out i've been pregnant four times in the last five years you've only got yourself to blame for that that's but like that's a lot on your body yeah that is a lot yeah i'm having a big blowout after this one will you have another i i would like another one yeah fuck me yeah how you can say that when you're currently pregnant as well like normally it's like no no i'm just so used to it now like said four times in five years i'm just i'm just used to so weird always being pregnant i've just been pregnant once like four times not four because obviously i had that miscarriage so i was only pregnant for 13 weeks still a long time but yeah it's and also your body recovering after that as well like and your hormones getting back to normal

after i'd had the operation it's a lot of pregnancy hashtag blessed um so yeah you're being healthy now i've heard right so i've got a hangover today from food yesterday i ate greg's in bed i saw that i was jealous sausage butty and and straight after a cheese and bean melt james couldn't even eat both but i've never had a cheese and bean have you luke best thing do i need to get one better than a sausage roll in my opinion shall i get one after this they're amazing so i had that sounds like a good pregnant food then we went to freight island have you ever been there no but lucas has been yeah it's a it's a you kind of place it's not you kind of place well i won't go then can we explain that in more detail yes absolutely

absolutely happy to do that it's full of like birkins aren't allowed in it's like a little a little there's a lot quite a lot of gay people there uh there's all sort of quirky i would say it's a very northern did you have kiddos with you no i didn't have them this weekend so could you have a few wines one um but you would it's kind of like you go in and there's all different vendors of food oh like halty market but a bit more like look a bit more like a bit more yeah we're cool like do you know northern quarter everyone have weird clothes on a bit yeah do you know what i mean yeah yeah no you know it's like you know what i mean lucas she's actually nailed it like spot on it's that kind of like a bit like me like we're cool kind of like yeah

we're not cool enough for that no no and i think it was fine you wouldn't i don't think you'd like it so we went there for a couple um and i had cheesy chips oh my god right so there's cheesy chips is my ultimate fave there's this one of the things you pick your salt so they had like lime salt all different salt stunning pick your chips and then pick your toppings very cheesy chips and gravy fucking insane then we walked straight from there were you hungover on this food day yeah you went out actually didn't you you looked really you really suit red oh yeah i do i don't know you do thank you um went straight to um the counter house that is also ultimarket vibes isn't it yeah for sunday roast straight from there was it better than your counter house

it's next door to something called it's like mackie mayer vibes isn't it it's in um and coats yeah so i went there had a full sunday roast was it good i'm gonna give it a six out of ten it was all right but i wasn't hungry because i've just eaten some fucking cheesy chips so i feel like my god so then got home i thought chalky wacky doodah macky wacky doodles no i got you ate more than me yesterday and i'm pregnant i don't eat a lot normally i really don't like i eat shit but not very often not a lot of it and i just sat there i thought i need a cheeseburger now so i had a cheeseburger chips and chicken nuggets then two soleros i felt that's disgusting no it is like i felt unwell i was lying in bed james tried to food hangover is a thing so what i've done this

morning i thought that's disgusting yeah i don't feel good no so i've downloaded divinia taylor's audio book yeah and i'm going to listen to it yeah and maybe i'll start believing some of the shite you say yeah um and i've also downloaded which i think is a big move for me the stop smoking book the penguin one oh the alan carr one that's how ed quit smoking he has not had he listened to that i don't know anyone that's not stopped after reading it and he has not had one fag does it help with vaping no i think what when i got in the car and listened to it the few times during the period he was listening to it it's not alan car alan car no it's not chatty man like you need to stop smoking it's not um so when i listened to the book what the times that i

got in the car it wasn't because lucas has just asked us um does it work for vaping it was more about fags as in it was like yeah it made you feel disgusting about fags like it was like you will smell your breath will smell your teeth will be yellow and they are so i feel like and i've got the worst cough from it so i will stop how many fags a day no so listen to this for really weird and i don't so basically i will stop smoking when we had the kids last weekend i didn't smoke once for about five days didn't think about it didn't smoke didn't even cross my mind it's a habit thing with me and there are triggers there's certain triggers and i think i'm gonna have to have a cigarette now so a tiny bit of stress so say we have a little bit of work stress

my brain will say go and have a cigarette it's it's really weird it's like a something triggers it or it's a habit and when i'm in the habit of it i can't get out of it and then when i get out of it so anyway i stopped for a while started again and i've got a chesty cough i thought no enough enough enough it's when you wake up in the morning you're like like a hangover from vibes and i have never ever said i'm gonna stop smoking because i've never really wanted to because i'm not really asked but it's a little past time i've done yeah i don't know i've downloaded the book and i might i'm not putting pressure but i might try and stop smoking so i'm trying to number one learn a little bit more about what's healthy and so for example i've just started listening to

the book you'll know this obviously already but like sunflower oil so bad for you that's what i fucking cook my food seed oils are you joking you cook with sunflower oil i think so that's maybe i don't i don't know no because when it heats up it just turns into saturated fat yeah i don't know do you know what i cook with whole organic grass-fed butter right okay i know it sounds like but it's the purest like it's good fat yes butter is good one of the things i've been then that's just one tiny thing don't get spreadable because that's covered in seed oils i do get spreadable i do no it's a block of butter and you have to have a butter dish so it's like soft right okay well so these little changes i i'm i'm interested james is really interested in it so i'm going to

just what i'm going to do guys i will listen to it all yeah and i'll just feed back as we go along with the pod i mean i probably won't do it but any little bits i've learned and then you can learn them without having to listen to it because yeah i'm gonna try seed oils are super i looked at devinia i follow her i think she's fucking amazing she looks incredible and i thought do know what we only live once and i want to be healthy for my kids and i'm not healthy i'm thin do you know what i mean yeah but i'm fat thin i'm skinny fat like yeah i look fine because i'm not like your organs are probably no one's yeah no one's looking at me thinking you're unhealthy because you're fat i'm not so i don't need to go on a diet and sometimes that's actually worse if

you're big and uncomfortable you think right i've got to do something yeah i'm not i'm like a size six to eight more of an eight now so i'm fine so what there's nothing that kind of because i'm vain so there's nothing that's kind of pushes me to do it but now we're approaching like yeah i'm thinking how am i gonna look when i'm older i'm getting cellular like that kind of thing i'm starting to so we'll see but i'll feed back to you anyway but it's the drinking as well like i don't drink a lot i probably drink once a month and i've started getting beer fear before i even drink now because i'm scared it's just horrible isn't it it's nice to unwind a bit right so adaptogen drinks fucking out is this to do with some electrolyte what is this now no it's

not electrolytes so you know like the trip cbd drink yeah so it's a drink with cbd in now adaptogen drinks cbd legal i'm a bit confused on all this yeah right um to a certain like level of it yeah um the adaptogen drinks are going to be absolutely huge because a lot of people especially the younger generation now they don't really drink like we had that culture where we would drink lamborini in the park like that's not the same no no no so and they're very aware and conscious of like the health so for example in america the adaptogen drinks are absolutely huge bella hadid's got her own one katie perry's got her own one and they put like mushroom complexes in them they put cbd in them um so you have like a euphoric a buzz a buzz so there's loads of

different ones to try there's the trip one um then if you if you just go on amazon and search adaptogen you can't drink them when you're pregnant because no no people say when they have like two or three of them that they get a buzz like as if they're tipsy yeah see i love being tipsy but it's so hard to manage that tipsy before you get blackout fucking embarrassing which is something i actually did on saturday i just got tipsy but yeah if you could keep yourself at like a buzz level have you ever taken magic mushrooms no okay i'm scared it's not scary i'm scared of anything mind-altering i mean so you can microdose them just the word that's these are the illegal ones no you can do it you can this is what is in all the adaptogens lucas

it's like um uh certain types of mushroom blends are really good for your mind and there is illegal magic mushrooms which are huge at the minute illegal ones everyone is taking these you just took that in amsterdam chocolate um the chop by the way guys this is you don't do that absolutely like it's illegal but a lot of people are taking the um chocolate ones and that like ayahuasca oh my god one of my friends did it what happened she went to um again this is illegal but we're just talking about it and a lot of people are talking about ayahuasca at the minute yeah i've heard i know someone um he was an alcoholic and he's changed his whole life he had a lot of past trauma yeah he was an alcoholic he had a bit of a drug addiction as well yeah very

bad mental you know like pattern and he completely changed after it it supposedly like enlightens you and you unlock like a new part of your mind yeah so she went down to devon i think it was um and you stay for oh it's giving me like no i know it scares me i'm already fucking mental and she stayed for two nights so you get there and you do what they call the ceremony so what ayahuasca is i think and don't quote me on this but it's tree bark from brazil or something took a bite out of a tree that they boiled became enlightened and you drink it and then you have this like experience on it so the you know you might get a bit like um you start being enlightened i've got a really good idea i haven't done it but i would like to look on youtube at people

having it done because i bet it's really funny yeah watching them like um but then one of my friends her boyfriend's friend went and did it and he came back and he could speak whole new language what like and it's some kind of ancient yeah language right you're there with him and he just comes back and he goes hi yeah yeah um and then there is that one that i actually do want to do the com combo the frog the frog the frog that's not and you have a purge yeah oh you vomit though yeah we've talked about this fran mccann fran fran not fran fern mccann fern mccann i'm thinking who's that fern mccann did it and she did it on camera and she was vomiting and everything like yeah you have a purge oh i feel like it my friend that

does combo quite regularly her skin glows after she's done it it just maybe we should do it after you've had the toxins out of your body and stuff i'm down for stuff like that but i think the ayahuasca it's just something too fucking it's a lot you have to be in a certain environment and they look after you don't know that she said it was like hospital beds like laid out in this room it's a bit much but look i've heard when she saw herself in the mirror she was like but yeah it's it's all very interesting so oh yeah let's ask guys if you've had an ayahuasca experience yeah or your partner maybe or anything similar to that where you go to like um a place and do some weird shit please and please will you in the subtitle if you email us will you put it

in capitals whenever you send us an email please put like in capitals what it is yeah so that lucas can be like ah yeah the girls asked for this let's have a little look at it um and then there's also like dmt yeah i think that's similar type that no that's that's something different that makes you fucking see shit anything i was asked to go to amsterdam with my friend sam and the other month and i wouldn't go because i said i can't smoke weed i'm not i can't do anything like that it makes me very unwell i would never touch mushrooms because i'm scared and i can't ride a bike yeah so why would i go to amsterdam why would i go to and you can't shag it you can't shag a brass and i can't shag a brass so why i can't ride a bike i can't shag a brass and i can't

smoke weed so why the fuck would i go to amsterdam nah i went once with a terrible ex of mine and i had the most horrific time what on space cakes um i it was just awful it was god awful i hated every second of it it's not my pretending i enjoyed it and i didn't hate it it's not my bag no did you get a picture stood on the lake yes i did and when i look at it now i was really thin and unhappy and it was just a really bad um a few of my friends have got the weed vape right okay okay right okay so lucas is really fed up with us because we've gone on he's gonna have to edit a lot nervous he's nervous he's gonna have a twitchy bottom we'll see how much of that look it's a fuck it's people are doing it so we can talk about it geez it's not like i'm lying in

a hospital bed ready to i tell you what i'm one of those people where you know when you see people like festivals taking pills and shit if i took one fucking pill i'd die yeah i'm that person that would die and then you face it i'll make sure it's a good picture like it'd be a good one um what else do we have to talk about um first day of school it was sasky's first day of school big school how did it go she had a meltdown in the car on the way there and she's such a confident girl so i was a bit like this is what thea does to me so you i think we put too much on them and we think oh they're fine they're confident and then they shock you and you're like yeah what and um i was like to um naomi my nanny this morning like she was literally having a meltdown in the

car we had to like give her a blankie and a toast in the car and i was like naomi do you think like she's not well i shouldn't take her and she was like ashley because she used to work at school she was like you need to just take her and throw her in like and just don't make it a thing and as soon as she got there she stopped crying did she know people from yes from preschool that was going to be going yes um so yeah so we've been organizing the going back to school thing um i've actually got in my playroom now a rail with her school clothes on what a good idea is that a good idea i like honestly because teddy wears a little track suit for nursery and she's obviously got her school uniform it's like and being pregnant oh mate stares yeah stares at the

minute killing me so i was sick of like running up and down stairs so i just bought a little rail and there it is and there how good is that in a drawer like most people but if you can get a clothes rail fucking why not yeah well there's this company and they sell the nicest playroom furniture have you seen the new shelves that i've had put up in the playroom it's called great little trading company i've heard of that honestly have a look guys online there's some really really really cute like nursery bits like beds shell the shelving because it's in a playroom you need that you need space you need yeah what's the word storage storage is her uniform really expensive because she's really expensive it was ridiculous so um i sent lauren the other day i got um a

message off my personal shopper wow a christian le bouton back to school event honestly when she sent him it right so when she sent that is everything that is wrong with the world when you sent it me for a second i thought you were inviting me to the event i thought you were sending you know like you do now and again like this is yeah and i was like she's fucking joking there's not as prayer i'm going there and then i was like then i realized that we were more like so out of interest i had a lot read it out oh it was like face bit so back school event where you pick your um insufferages at le buton you pick your le buton school shoes wow wow these have broken already one day which ones do you get i get the lally kelly's literally this

year because she absolutely they batter them don't they she's them i got them from matalan just a nice pair the shiny velcro easy and i will buy several of them yeah but i would rather do that than spend sainsbury's is really good for um school shoes gay tablet just went off um i last time got her some from next that were gorgeous they were because the patent scratch tripped um the patent ones are so cute yeah and i've gone but then they peel off the front yeah but they're cheap so i thought i'll get the patent and i'll just replace them more rather than oh yeah as soon as they've already started breaking so le bouton how much do you think a pair of i think they're about 600 grand disgusting i mean it's just like go through

if you bought the whole outfit do you know how much um her school uniform oh like oh my god yeah they were like 600 quid for a pair of kid shoes that they're gonna fucking trash wow it's not good it's not good and it's not really good to be teaching them as well like yeah really my kids do wear designer clothes but thea wears less so when she was younger i did used to buy her more designer i feel like boys stuff has to be started well i haven't got a boy so i don't know but it started now when she was younger i did buy more but now maybe a coat i might get her an expensive coat or a nice pair of trainers that i know she'll that'll last but actually clothes wise i don't really do it anymore it's too expensive it's so

expensive and also when they're in the school uniform all week it's only twice a week that i mean the good thing about us now is i've got that many kids that we can hand me down i give you stuff as well so it's worth it then um do you not sorry to interrupt do you not think like i know i'm not a parent no if i was gonna kids they're so young they trash it and they grow up yeah i agree i would personally be like right let's say i wanted like a hundred pound polo or a ten pound polo spend 10 quid put that 90 quid in like a fun thing because when they're older they're going to be like i want no you make that makes more sense so james is eldest now he's coming up to 10 and he is now designer he's wanting to look cool he wants cheeses yeah he wants the

and absolutely within reason will you want to do as a tree yeah birthdays if you want to make them happy do you remember when you were younger that feeling of like wanting something like a pair of my 60 jeans or like a pair of what were those buffalo shoes that everybody wanted and when you got them the buzz and wearing your shoes out for the first time no i agree so we want to give him that so what i kind of think is zara is my go-to for all the kids i don't think it washes very well it doesn't but when they ruin it like that you know georgia azda sainsbury's really good they have expensive coats i think it's nice for them to have a expensive coat yeah yeah um but le bouton is just ridiculous but in the trafford center in kids cavern everything in the shop

everything is 40 off i've never been in there because flannels have just bought them really i got two monclair coats and they were 40 this season 40 off right okay there we go guys it's a good one if you want to do that right we have blabbled blabbled and blabbled if you get us when we've missed a recording episode it is a bit all over the show isn't it because we have so much to catch up but don't worry normal routine will resume we're going to be back after the break we're going to give you the bargain bucket and your slutty have you just sniffed your armpit Yeah, I stink. Why does everyone think I'm the disgusting one?

You've pissed yourself and sniffed your own armpit. Yeah, it's me that's the disgusting one. Oh, I need to tell you something. What? When I was... A rumour about yourself. No, but there is another. When I was walking round...

When I'd left, where's it called? Roastale? The roast... Roastale. The pie factory? No, when I'd left my roast. The chute factory. Right, I'm getting lightheaded.

When I'd left the roast place and I was walking through Manchester, a lady came up to me i should have taken a name she had her headphones in she tapped me turned her phone around she was listening to us fuck off she said she she she said it was a pegging you episode and she went she tapped me pegging pegging you and she showed it me and i was like oh my god and she said look i've had to show you because i know james will be really proud of you that when it's happened and i walked off like i put my sunglasses on i was like my best moment like that was when i was in sexy fish in london and a lady sent me over a glass of roses that's just fucking amazing and she came over to the table and she went i know you love pale roses

i was like oh my god it's it's really exciting isn't it yeah but like the one that makes me giggle is like yes i was walking through hail village and there was these three girls sat and they were like you know you know and they start nudging and staring right sorry we've just sorry we'll be back after this yeah what's the new rumor so i heard um now this is through a friend of a friend of a friend like literally it's gone quite a while please don't tell me any rumors about myself i don't want to hear no well i don't either really so i don't know why they come to me but apparently um i was uh at me and james's relationship he had an affair with me

yeah oh he left his partner for you yeah we no we were having an affair during which absolutely categorically

we'd I'd been single for 18 months he'd been single about nine years six months I don't even know but absolutely categorically untrue

but yeah yeah yeah that's going around so we shag on OnlyFans and he had an affair with me to get with me so there you go what a home wrecking

slut I am home wrecker home wrecker right we'll be back anyway are you are you though are you are you though are you a loyal listener of nip tuck do you ding dong set an alarm on wednesdays and fridays ready for a new release do you lololol what's on the train driving to work why not tell your

nearest and dearest no seriously though guys spread the love by spreading your legs podcast give it a share on instagram leave us a five star glowing review tell your friends send it on whatsapp we love you for that tag us and take a picture if you're a patreon take a picture of you watching us i liked that someone had us on their telly and i felt like i was watching youtube at the weekend i never watch it but i felt like such a big time i was on someone's telly i was like Yeah, so please do that and then tag us. Guys, we're back from our break. Sorry, we needed a wee-wee.

A wee. Can I just say, when we went in, then we both went in the toilet together, you didn't go in the first cubicle because the seat was up. Is that why? Yeah. because i was thinking whenever i go to a public toilet i never go in the first one i go like three up and i don't know why everyone's used the no but half the or is everyone does everyone do

the same i just reminded me what goes through my head yeah i walk in and i never go in the first one yeah like at service stations yeah i go halfway up and it just made me think then like why do we do that oh service station toilets right we're back we're back okay so we've got some hackies hacky wacky doogars so we love a bargain bucket and a dupe but we've had a lot of hacks this week hacks i have got you the hacks are you ready yeah right what the did you know just read one of them if you've got anxiety so you know like monday comes you've got a bit of anxiety from the weekend if you eat fizzy sweets it tricks your brain from your anxiety if something's bad's happened so your cat's died so you get the haribos out yeah exactly right next one and these

this isn't oh i'm not listen before she reads this i'm not putting my name to this shit because this is the type of thing i saw this on tiktok bee pollen makes your boobs grow what do you do with the bee pollen put it on your tits victoria beckham puts bee holland pollen on her honey every day wait so you put them on your tits or do you digest i mean at one point she did have those big round tits you eat it so if you eat bee pollen your breasts will grow supposedly i am not putting my name to that if you have a smelly bum hole yeah mine's smelly but not like poo like um just a bum hole smell like smell like when your hands smell a bum yeah it's like a bum smell bum bum when you wipe your bum do you use wet wipe i use the wet flushables we've had this

conversation before and i just don't think it's life-changing i just feel like you're both trying to call me out again like you know i don't use that like no one wants to put dry tissue on the little delicate bum but then your little bottom's wet after it's not no it's not because they're not too wet can you flush them yeah they're biodegradable okay um right so supposedly um and this is all over tiktok if you put witch hazel on a tissue and then white cotton pad maybe yeah and then wipe your bum with it your bum has no scent right i'm gonna try that yeah um because i just it just has a it's like a belly button smell but yeah um also the wipes that you just said might be good for Thea because I mean I don't know what age they're meant to start wiping their

own arse but I do attend tend to still wipe Thea's they can wipe their own bum but it's not great it's not clean yeah so I'm thinking that might be good for like a little kid learning yeah that will get rid of it in one wipe as opposed because I've been like I was like wipe it look at it yeah look at it they've got those um the ones that come in the box right okay and it makes wiping their bum great fun fun yeah absolutely a whale of a time it's fun what a hoot can't wait for a poo um high heel trick if you get sellotape oh i've heard yes i agree this is right and wrap it around your third and fourth toe can i suggest a plaster instead of sellotape i feel like it's more toe friendly it doesn't matter they just need binding yeah if you bind those toes together

supposedly your high heels don't hurt it's true and it's something to do with the no tendons bones muscles something isn't that wild to do with pressure points yeah it's true another thing if you find that your perfume doesn't last on you yeah spray it when you are damp or onto vaseline really yeah so you put vaseline on and then spray your perfume and it lasts like 10 times longer this morning i didn't spray my perfume i could smell it on you it must be in your hair or something i didn't because i know you hate it um soak your feet in apple cider vinegar and supposedly they come out so soft really so soft right everyone raves about drinking that as well yeah it's really good what is it like why um i think isn't it a probiotic or something i don't

know but on on the feet one um what's it called the red mask the ordinary because we're not oh yeah i've seen people putting that on there's a red mask and i actually didn't mind it on my face to be fair yeah i don't know if you put it on your feet and it's cheap appeal you can do appeal and apparently that's amazing i saw that on don't know where i saw it but i love having soft feet and when you get into bed your feet are like there's nothing worse than when you're cuddling your partner and you feel your crusty ass foot great on his leg and he's not about that pleasant for anyone or it catches on the sheets right i've got a new supplement fenugreek it makes sure fanny taste of maple syrup oh that even that that has just made lucas consider going straight

maple syrup fanny yeah have you tried it no do you think it makes everything smell um and supposedly if you eat jaffa cakes doesn't your cum taste nice jaffa cakes and pineapple pineapple of her pineapple and jaffa cakes yeah um fenugreek yeah and what is it i don't know but i've seen it on tiktok so it must be true so if you want a tasty fanny take them take them okay thank you for that ashley i really appreciate that do you want to read slutty sue okay slutty sue how about you she's been in the pub where are you going with this she and now she's giving a rub no it doesn't that doesn't rhyme what part of lube rhymes with pub she's been in the pub now she's giving cocks a rub see i should have been a rapper or something

hey girls i just wanted to send this in after listening to today's pod i'm i'm fresh 18 years old is she still or she was at the time jealous i'm fresh 18 years old in my first big girl job as an estate agent i wasn't accustomed to workplace banter and chat anyway there's a woman in the late 40s he was an absolute character it was around easter time when the cream it was around easter time when the cream eggs are in the shops oh the best time and the mini eggs i hate them it was a literal silence in the office and she goes my ex-husband used to ask me to put cream eggs up my vagina and he'd lick them out that's giving thrush yeah i swear on my life still to this day i'm now 27 i can remember being mortified and thinking you're close to my mum's age and i

if i knew my mum was partaking in this type of activity i'm quite a crude person anyway i don't know why you like our pod then but this sent 18 year old me west it's actually core memory for me so she was fully like she has ptsd over there she was fully traumatized have you ever done that no i want to know this does the whole leg go up or did she cut the egg in half put half up and then guessing the whole egg and then he licked it oh no no Put it in, give it five minutes to get nice and warm. And then squeeze and pop it out. Messy.

No, not for me, thrush. And also, I don't like cream egg. I mean, not that I'd be licking it. It'd just be really bad for you. I look for that's your reason. Yeah, my reason is I just don't like cream egg. And also, it wouldn't really feel that nice. It'd be not that nice and a bit messy.

Because he'd be licking the cream egg, not your fanny. Nah. I don't understand why people... It's a bit icky a man eating a cream egg anyway, isn't it? it's like someone licking a yogurt top oh my god no one should do that and if you do do you do that i uh i once had a mate send me a video like that it was doing right not a personal one and a guy was eating a banana out of another guy eating a banana eating a banana someone's butthole oh um no i am that's better than a cream egg i really do you remember right when we were

younger of a sexual age but young sexually so i'm gonna say 1920 22 and then it was a big thing to get chocolate body paint yes and those candy thongs and you thought you were so sexually experienced you and your whipped cream you were just experiencing you know going chocolate body paint chocolate body paint and you put it on and let me tell you the chocolate was stunning because it was cheap and i like cheap chocolate but then you got to it and you're like this is and you're oh i love this and it was shit also whipped cream why would anyone like it's so sticky it's so sticky anyway thank you kaylee for that story really appreciate that one guys keep your slutty sues coming in we are always desperate for a slutty sue you can email us your stories hello

at nipped up pod.com or you can whatsapp us or voice note us the number is in this episode's description i feel like we keep getting messages saying how can i whatsapp yeah i mean how more clear can it be are we doing like where's the number on our insta on our insta and it's on the episode and it's on the episode's description so if you go on contact on our instagram copy and paste the number yeah we're gonna write it in the bio because we do seem to get a lot of people asking that and i don't know yeah so that's how right remember on nip talk we want you to get your voice heard you can email us at hello at niptuckpod.com you can get in touch via whatsapp as we've just said voice notes we can play them out in future episodes but don't worry if you

want to remain anonymous honestly it's always we will take your secrets to the grave not our own but yours just head to this episode's description for more information on that one but please don't forget if you've not done it already and you enjoy the podcast and like loads of people say it makes of my week we'll make ours then and go and give us a five star rating and review it means a lot to us and then we'll be back on friday getting you ready for the weekend with our bonus so that's about you guys it's your dilemmas your beauty questions anything that you want to ask us really send something in now we may be able to feature it on friday for you okie doke love you love you Thank you.